Holding a Heart
by winchestersangels
Summary: **Under Revision** What if Jo Harvelle had a younger sister named Alexis? What happens when Alexis meets the Winchesters and what transpires when she begins to hunt with them? Starts in season 2, around the end of No Exit. AU that loosely follows the show. Rated M just to be safe for the chapters to come.
1. Home

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters in it, but I do own Alexis.**

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**Opening Notes:**

_This story started out as the very first piece of work I__'d ever written. I created the character of Alexis Harvelle, a younger sister to Jo, and put her into the story. This story begins in season two and goes from there, for the most part following canon with some different twists and events. Along the way other original characters, both male and female, are introduced and a relationship develops for Sam and Alexis, hence the Sam/OFC pairing tag. So if you're interested, check out the bit of background on Alexis provided below and happy reading!_

Alexis Marie Harvelle:**  
**

Daughter of Bill and Ellen Harvelle, younger sister of Jo Harvelle.

Born: October 7th, 1985.

Background: Alexis has a complicated relationship with her mother, Ellen and a good relationship with her older sister, Jo. She and Ash have a sibling-like relationship. Alexis was 6 when her father died. She completed most of high school online, allowing her to leave home and hunt at the age of 16 while still in school. Ellen didn't agree with her hunting and wanted her to stay, but she left anyway. She hunted with Bobby Singer and John Winchester occasionally. Alexis is a little mysterious and tends to keep things to herself. She has a bad habit of smoking when she is stressed. She drives a black 1974 Camaro. Owns an apartment in Chicago that belonged to her best friend Zac.

Nicknames: Lex, Lexi

Basic Description: Just past shoulder length brown, wavy hair. Brown eyes. About 5'6. Slim, but also in shape.

Face-claim: Actress Erin Sanders

(Extra: Should you want to contact me, you can do so through PM'ing me on here or you can check out my Supernatural tumblr, doomedbrothers (linked on my profile) and message me that way (: On my tumblr, I do have reader insert one shots for Supernatural if those are your type of thing also.)

_A/N: So I mixed up dates and had in my mindset that season 2 was set in 07-08, not 06-07 when I was writing the first few chapters. I had to move Alexis' birthday to 1985, which according to supernaturalwiki, is the same year Jo was born. So in this story Jo's birthday will be April 7th, 1984, not 1985._

_-I'm also, as of 5/28/15, trying to go through and edit the story, taking out all centric-pov changes and fusing it together better.-_

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**Chapter 1: Home**

On a breezy September afternoon Alexis Harvelle pulls her 1974 Camaro into the vacant lot of Harvelle's Roadhouse. As she walks towards the door a flood of memories enter her mind, but she quickly shakes them off. What's past is past, no use dwelling on it.

Immediately Alexis is hit with the familiar scent of beer and peanuts and something else she could never but her finger on. For her, it was the smell of home.

"Mom?" she calls out and is answered with silence.

"Jo?"

She receives the same answer.

"Ash?"

More silence.

Her eyes scan the room until they settle on a lump of a person asleep on the pool table. _Ash._ A smirk appears on her face as she heads to the bar to grab the air horn she'd stashed there years ago for this purpose. Alexis takes the horn and glides over to the pool table. Leaning down and putting the horn right next to Ash's ear, she presses down on the air horn.

Ash immediately jumps up and his eyes land on Alexis, who's standing there laughing her head off. "Jesus Alexis! How many times do I have to tell you not to do that to people!" he says, swinging his arms out in exasperation.

Still laughing, she responds, "How many times do I have to tell you pool tables are not for sleeping? That's why beds were created! Ever heard of them?"

Ash glares at her for a moment and then pulls her into a hug. "Long time no see kiddo, what brings you back?" he asks her as she walks over to the bar.

"Who says I've got a reason?" Alexis replies.

Ash looks at her and says "Come on Lex, you've always got a reason."

"What? A girl can't just come visit her mother and sister?" she innocently asks while grabbing a beer. Then, remembering she hasn't seen her mother or sister yet, she adds, "Where are they anyway?"

Ash chuckles, "A girl can, but you never do." Alexis visited rarely, and she never visited without a purpose. So needless to say, he wasn't buying that she was just visiting.

She childishly sticks out her tongue as she pops the cap off her beer. Sure she didn't visit often, but did that mean she had to be questioned about her reasons for visiting every time she did?

"Hey, aren't you a little young to be drinking that?" Ash asks, upon noticing her beer.

"Come on Ash, I'll be 21 in like 2 weeks. Besides, its not like it's the first time I've ever had a beer. I have lived here most of my life." Alexis says. "Hey, you didn't answer my question, where are my mom and Jo?"

"Oh, yeah, that. Your sister told your mother that she was going to Vegas and had me cover for her, when really she was trailing two hunters on a case she had researched. Naturally, your mom found out and was pissed, so she headed there to get Jo. They should all be back soon."

Alexis looks mildly shocked for a moment but shrugs it off, her sister has wanted to be a hunter for a while now but her mom is against it. Hell, her mom was against her hunting too, but she didn't care. Once Alexis had gotten her license, she packed her car and drove off, despite the numerous protests and pleads to stay from both her mother and Jo. "Great, now I'll have a pissed mom and sister on my hands. I picked the perfect time to visit. Maybe I should just leave before they get back. Mom's never all that happy to see me." Alexis responds, taking another pull of her beer. She really didn't want to deal with both her sister and her mother when they were pissed off, especially at each other.

"Oh come on Lex, don't leave. You just got here and none of us have seen you in months. Actually, I don't think I've seen you at all this year. If it weren't for the texts or calls every few weeks, we wouldn't even know you were alive. You know your mom is happy to see you. Ellen just worries about you hunting." Ash tells her, eyes pleading for her to stay.

Alexis sighs and says, "Yeah, whatever. I guess I'll stick around." Then, taking the last sip of her beer, she gets up to toss the now empty bottle out.

Ash gestures to the pool table that he had been so rudely woken up on not thirty minutes earlier and asks, "Up for a game of pool Lexi? Or are you afraid I'll beat you?"

Alexis just laughs, "Please, you know I always kick your ass at pool."

Ash gives her a challenging look and says, "Game on."

* * *

The two catch up while playing a few games of pool. Halfway through their second game, they hear a car pull up. Moments after they hear the slamming of car doors and multiple footsteps headed for the door.

Ash looks towards the door then back at Alexis and says, "Guess your mom and sister are home. Too late to leave now, they've probably already seen your car."

"I hear yelling already, I think I'm going to need another beer." Alexis states, already wishing she hadn't even come. She could've and should've just called Ash for what she needed. Now she was going to be stuck in the middle of her feuding mother and sister, exactly where she didn't want to be.

"Joanna Beth! Don't think we're not going to talk about this!" Alexis could hear her mother yell as the roadhouse door was thrown open and her sister storms in.

Jo turns on her heels, glaring at her mother, not yet noticing Ash or her sister. "What's there to talk about Mom? It's over and we're all fine!" Jo practically spits at Ellen, clearly just as angered as the older woman.

Ellen, also not noticing Ash or her other daughter, warns, "Watch your tone with me."

Alexis watches from the pool table, mildly shocked. She was the one who was usually fighting with her mother, not Jo. Jo was typically the voice of reason among the three of them, the one who kept the other two from killing the each other. Alexis glances past her mother and sister, who were both still oblivious to her and Ash, and sees two men. One was taller with shaggy brown hair and the other was shorter with piercing green eyes and a leather jacket. She recognizes the two from somewhere, but she can't seem to figure out where or who exactly they even were.

Just then Ash clears his throat, letting Ellen know that she and Jo are not alone.

Both Ellen and Jo turn their attention towards the unexpected noise and their eyes land on Ash and Alexis. They stare for a minute, clearly taken aback, and then Jo asks, "Alexis?"

Alexis weakly smiles in response and then shrugs. "Guess I picked a bad time. Mom, Jo, you're both clearly in the middle of something. I'll be outside," she says and then brushes past both her family members and the two men.

As she walks out, she hears the shorter one say to the taller one, "Mom'? There's another one?"

Ellen must have asked the two men to give them some time because not a minute later both men are walking out the same door Alexis had just exited. The shorter one looks at her and says, "So Ellen has another daughter?"

Alexis nods, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

The taller one steps forward and says, "Well I'm Sam, and this is my brother Dean."

As soon as she hears their names she realizes why she had recognized them. They were John Winchester's boys. "As in Sam and Dean Winchester? John Winchester's sons?" Alexis asks. She couldn't believe she hadn't known at first glance. They certainly looked like Winchesters.

At the mention of John, both boys stiffen up a bit and Dean answers rather defensively, "Yeah, so?"

"So nothing, I just knew him that's all. I heard he passed, I'm sorry." she says.

Dean begins, "How did you know-"

But Sam cuts him off with a look and then turns to Alexis and says, "I'm sorry, I don't think we caught your name."

"Alexis. Alexis Harvelle. But you can call me Lex or Lexi."

They both nod their heads and Dean, seemingly not able to drop the fact that Alexis knew their father, asks again, "So how did you know our father?"

Remembering that that was what Dean had been trying to say before Sam cut him off, she tells them, "Oh yeah, John. He used to come here every so often until he and my mom had a falling out. The last hunt my dad went on, the hunt where he was killed, was with your dad, John. I think my mom always blamed him, which is probably part of the reason she's so pissed at Jo."

The brothers share a look, this was clearly new information to them.

Alexis continues. "I was only 6 then and I didn't see John again for about 10 years, when I had left to hunt on my own. I had been at Bobby Singer's one day when your dad showed up. He gave me his number and told me if I was ever stuck or needed help to call him. I think he felt guilty about what happened with my father and wanted to help me out if he could. He wasn't too thrilled to see that I was 16 and hunting on my own, but I wasn't his kid and he knew he couldn't talk me out of it. From then on we kept in contact and hunted together occasionally. I don't really know why I never met you, Dean, I guess our paths just never crossed. You, Sam, had already gone off to college. Stanford was it? I only heard your dad mention it a couple dozen times."

Sam looks surprised and asks, "He did?"

"Yeah, he was proud of you, Sam."

Sam didn't seem like he quite believed her, but he let it go.

The three stood there for a moment and Alexis realizes she didn't hear shouting coming from inside any more. "So," she begins, "it sounds like they're done yelling, think it's safe to go back in there? Make sure they didn't kill each other or break anything?"

Both boys shrug and then head towards the door. It wasn't until Dean was reaching for the handle that they realized Alexis hadn't moved.

Sam turns around and asks, "Are you coming in?"

Alexis crosses her arms and says, "I don't know, maybe I'll just leave. I'm not exactly my mom's favorite person."

They stare at her for a minute and Dean says, "Well she already knows you're here. Might as well get what you came for."

Alexis thinks it over for a minute, glancing from her car to the door, then shrugs and says, "Yeah, I guess. Let's go in."

Dean opens the door and Alexis takes a deep breath before once again walking inside.

* * *

Alexis walks back through the door of the roadhouse once again. This time, though, she was not greeted with the same silence she had been before. No, this silence was a much more tense silence.

The five of them stand there just staring at one another for a few minutes until Ellen breaks the silence.

"I'm going to go do inventory." she throws over her shoulder as she walks to the back, not once glancing at Alexis, or even Jo for that matter.

It was Dean who speaks next, asking, "Where's Ash?"

"Dr. Badass is in his room." Jo responds, looking over at Alexis. They both crack smiles after making eye contact.

"Hopefully with pants on." Alexis adds with a laugh.

Jo walks over to Alexis and pulls her into a hug. "I've missed you, Lexi! You picked a hell of a time to show up."

"I've missed you too, Jo." Alexis says, smiling at her older sister. It had been a while since she'd last seen her sister. "And you know me, I've always got perfect timing."

Sam and Dean had already taken seats at the bar, so Alexis and Jo both walk over and stand across from them, behind the bar.

"So, little sister, what brings you by?" Jo asks.

"What is with everyone asking me that? Can't a girl just drop in to see her mom and sister?" Alexis asks with fake offense in her voice.

Jo laughs, "Yes, but you never do. Lexi, you never show up without a reason."

"Unbelievable." Alexis says, face completely serious.

Jo just continues to stare at her so she cracks a smile and says, "Alright, alright. My 21st birthday is soon and I wanted to see if my sister would like to spend it with me. Maybe even go on a hunt with me." Her smile falls a bit as she adds, "Though after today that's probably not likely."

Before Jo could say anything, Dean speaks up. "You're turning 21?" he asks, looking at Alexis and she nods. "Jo, you've got to take your sister out for her birthday! If we're nearby we'll even join you. Right Sammy?"

"Yeah," Sam says, "When's your birthday, Alexis?"

She momentarily looks shocked that either Winchester would actually want to spend her 21st birthday with her but answers Sam nonetheless. "It's October 7th, but you guys don't have to come. It's just my birthday. It comes around every year." she says with a shrug, then laughs and adds "And please, call me Lexi or Lex, not Alexis."

Sam cracks a smile and nods. Dean turns to Jo and says, "So what do you say Jo? Are we all going to take your sister out for her 21st birthday or what?"

"Yeah, yeah, I guess so." Jo says smiling. Jo then turns to Alexis and says, "And Lex, I'd love to go on a hunt with you." With a laugh she adds, "If I can leave without mom killing me."

"So, how come no one ever mentioned Alexis to Sammy and I? We had no idea there was another Harvelle." Dean asks.

"Mom probably never mentioned me because she'd rather not talk about me, and Jo, well I don't know. Probably never came up." Alexis says with a shrug and goes to grab a beer. "Anyone want a beer?"

"I do." they all respond in unison.

Alexis smiles and says, "Four beers it is then."

"Lex, you said earlier you left to hunt at 16? Why?" Sam asks.

"And what about school? Wouldn't you still have been in high school?" Dean adds.

Sam and Dean were both clearly curious about Alexis and they weren't getting much out of either her or Jo.

"I guess I liked hunting and liked the thought of saving people from the supernatural evil that is out there. I was around hunters all the time. After my dad died, I guess that's what I decided I wanted to do. So the day after I got my license I packed up my car and drove off." Alexis sighs and then continues, "And I did most of my schooling online so I was able to still do school while hunting. I finished by the time I was 17 and took some college classes too, ending up with a degree even."

The boys both nod, even though it didn't look like they entirely understood it. The four sat chatting and finishing their beers until Ellen walks out, sights set on Alexis.

Jo looks between Alexis and Ellen, as if gauging what action to take. "Sam, Dean, up for a game of pool?" Jo asks, in a tone that gave them no choice but to say yes.

"Alexis." Ellen says.

"_Mother._" Alexis replies.

"Why are you here? What do you need?"

Alexis swings her arms out and says, "Why does everyone seem to think I have to have a reason to be here? Can't I just visit?"

"Because you always do, Alexis. You never come just to visit." Ellen replies, standing with her hands on her hips.

Alexis rolls her eyes and says, "I came to see if my sister wanted to spend my 21st birthday with me, do you have a problem with that?"

"If it involves both of my daughters hunting, yes I do have a problem with that."

Jo, Dean, and Sam, had forgotten their game of pool before they'd even started it as the three are all sitting intently listening to the heated conversation taking place between Ellen and her youngest daughter.

"So what if it involves hunting, Mom? We'll be fine! I've done perfectly fine on my own since I was 16, and we're not little kids anymore! You can't tell us what to do!" Alexis nearly yells, quickly becoming irritated with her mother.

"You may not be little anymore but you're both still my daughters and I don't want you to get hurt!" Ellen says, also beginning to raise her voice.

"You know you can't talk me out of hunting. You couldn't when I was 16, and you sure as hell can't _now_." Alexis says. She then turns to Jo and says, "Jo, it's up to you. If you want to go on a hunt with me for my birthday, let me know. I'm not going to stand here and argue with mom. If you want to come, come. If not, whatever." She turns towards the door and adds, "I'll be outside."


	2. Secrets

****Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters in it. I do own Lexi.****

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**Chapter 2: Secrets**

Alexis walks outside and over to her car, wondering why she still bothers to come here. All it does is stress her out and further strain her relationship with her mother. Sighing, Alexis sits down on the hood of her car and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and her lighter from her jacket pocket. She lights one and sits there thinking while smoking her cigarette. After a while, Alexis hears the door open and shut followed by footsteps coming towards her. She assumes its Jo so she doesn't bother to turn to look.

"You know smoking can kill you, right?"

That wasn't Jo. Alexis turns her head and sees Sam standing there. "Sit." she says, scooting over and gesturing to the hood of her car. "I smoke when I'm stressed, my mother usually factors into that equation. And I know, but we both know I'll be dead before smoking can kill me. I'm a hunter."

Sam looks at her and says, "Well that's not very optimistic of you."

She lets out a small laugh and says, "Who said I'm an optimist, Sam?"

He just shakes his head in response.

As Alexis puts out her cigarette she asks, "Why'd you come out here anyway?"

"Thought I'd come check on you. I used to fight like that with my dad, granted it was because I didn't want to hunt and he wanted me to, not the other way around." Then he laughs slightly and adds, "And your sister and my brother were doing their weird banter thing and Ellen wasn't in the mood for conversation."

They sit in silence for a bit until Alexis asks, "So why are you back hunting again? I mean, last I heard you were happy living a normal life at Stanford. You had a girlfriend and were studying to become a lawyer; at least that's what John told me. What happened?" At the sad look that crosses his face she says, "You don't have to tell me, I was just wondering."

Sam sighs and says, "No, no, it's fine. Uh, well I was happy. I did have a girlfriend. Jessica. We were both happy. But one weekend Dean showed up and said Dad hadn't been home in a few days. He talked me into coming with him to look for Dad, but I, uh, I had to be back by that Monday. I had a law school interview. I went with him, we ended up working a woman in white case and only finding our Dad's journal. So when we got back, I thought that was it. But... I walked into our place and something was wrong. I went to lie down on the bed and saw Jessica on the ceiling. A fire broke out and Dean had to pull me out of there. Jess died the same way our mom did. It was the same thing that had killed her. So I joined Dean, told him I wanted to hunt this son of a bitch down. It had already taken my mom and Jessica, and now our dad too. We have to find this demon and kill him. He's taken- he's taken too much already."

"Oh God, Sam, I'm so sorry. I had no idea." Alexis tells him, unsure of how to comfort him. She had just met the guy, but she liked Sam. She felt like she could talk to him, which was unusual. Alexis isn't one to open up to people, and she never really had many friends growing up. She kept to herself, but it never really bothered her.

"It's not your fault." Sam tells her. He didn't really like to talk about Jess but something told him he could talk to Alexis, even though he'd just met her. Maybe it was the fact that she was a Harvelle and he and Dean were already close enough to Ellen and Jo.

They sit in silence a little while longer until Sam says, "It's getting chilly out here, maybe we should head back in."

"Actually, I think I'm going to take off. I'll go in and say goodbye to Jo and Ash, but I think I'll hit the road."

"You're not going to stay the night?" Sam questions. She'd just gotten there that day, he didn't understand why she wouldn't want to stay longer than a few hours.

"Nah, I don't think my mom really wants me here anyway." Alexis says as she pulls open the door.

Sam shakes his head and follows her inside. There was definitely something about Alexis that both intrigued him and confused him. Something told him there was much more to her than meets the eye.

* * *

Alexis spots Jo and Dean talking at the bar, her mother nowhere in sight. She walks over to Jo and Dean, Sam following her, and says, "I'm going to hit the road. Let me know if any of you decide to join me for my birthday. I'm thinking I'll head to Chicago, hunt or no hunt. I love that city." Next she turns towards Ash's room and says "I'm going to go say goodbye to Dr. Badass and then I'll be on my way."

Alexis reaches his door and pounds on it, saying "Ash! I'm leaving!"

The door swings open and Ash asks her, "What? You're leaving already? You've hardly been here!"

"I know, I know. But I don't really want to stay much longer. I promise I'll call you more often and try to stop by again soon." Alexis pulls him into a hug and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "And Ash?" she asks him, remembering her other reason for coming here.

"Yeah, Lex?" he asks, looking at her expectantly.

"I kind of need a phone number and/or address from you."

"I knew you had a reason for being here! Who is it?"

She just laughs and walks into his room, shutting the door behind her.

After getting what she needed from Ash, she heads back towards the bar.

"Well I guess I'll be going. Hopefully I'll see you guys again soon." Alexis says. Then she grabs a napkin and writes her number on it. Handing it to Sam, she says with a small smile, "If you guys need help on a hunt or anything, just call me."

Sam takes the napkin and writes his number and Dean's down on another. "Here's my number and Dean's number, call if you ever need help too. And let us know what you decide on for your birthday, if we're around, we'll definitely come." Sam tells her, handing over the napkin.

"Thanks, I'll be sure to call you guys and let you know." Alexis says. Then she turns to Jo and gives her a hug. "See you later, Jo. Call me and tell me what you decide on doing."

"Bye, Lexi. Let me know where you'll be for your birthday and I'll meet up with you." Jo tells her little sister with a smile.

Alexis smiles too and then turns towards the door, throwing a "Bye guys!" over her shoulder. As Alexis walks out the door and heads to her car, she can't help but remember the night that she left almost 5 years ago.

**-Flashback-**

Sixteen-year-old Alexis Harvelle hurries out of the roadhouse her mother owned, both her mother and sister, Jo, on her tail. She didn't care what they said, what her mother threatened, what her sister pleaded, she was leaving. No one was changing her mind. Not her mom, not her sister, hell her dad's spirit could show up and tell her not to go and she still would. Alexis was leaving and becoming a hunter. That was that.

She gets to her car and feels her sister grab her arm. "Please Lexi, don't leave. Stay here with me. I don't want to lose you too."

Alexis looks at her older sister and says, "I'm sorry Jo, but this is what I want to do. You won't lose me. I'll call often." She could feel tears threatening to spill out so she turns to get in her car.

As she opens the door she hears her mother yell, "Alexis Marie Harvelle, don't you dare drive away from us!"

With that, Alexis slams her door shut and peels out of the parking lot. Leaving the roadhouse, her mother, and her sister, in the dust.

**-End Flashback-**

Alexis could feel tears forming and she quickly shakes the memory from her head. That was then, and she didn't regret her decision. She'd do it all over again if she had to. She just wished her mother accepted that.

* * *

She gets into her Camaro and pulls out of the parking lot, once again leaving the roadhouse in the dust. Pulling out her phone and the information from Ash, she dials the number on her phone and begins the drive towards Lawrence, Kansas.

"Hello?" came the older woman's voice from the other end of the phone.

"Hi Missouri, its Alexis Harvelle. We've met once or twice before." Alexis says.

"Oh Lexi honey, what can I do for you?"

"Well I've actually got a few questions about something that's going on and was wondering if you'd mind helping me out in person? I can be in Lawrence by tomorrow." Alexis asks the woman.

"I can do my best to answer those questions for you, but you always were a tricky one." Missouri tells her.

"What'd you mean?" Alexis asks, not entirely sure she wanted to know.

"There are few peoples minds that I can't seem to get a good read on, and you're one of them."

Visibly shocked, Alexis gives a single word response, "Oh." Hearing silence on the other end she adds, "Well I just left my mom's roadhouse so I've still got a long drive ahead of me. I'll be there sometime tomorrow. I'll probably stop somewhere for the night in a few hours. See you then, Missouri."

"See you then, honey."

After hearing a click on the other end, Alexis hangs up her phone. _Tricky? Can't get a read on my mind? What the hell does that mean?_ After that call, Alexis was left with even more questions. _This is going to be a long drive_. She pulls out her iPod, deciding to blast some music to get her mind off of all these questions.

After driving for about four hours straight, Alexis decides to stop. She was still somewhere in Nebraska, but it shouldn't take her more than three and a half hours to reach Missouri's in the morning, and she was getting tired. Alexis was up and on the road again six hours later.


	3. Chicago

****Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I also do not own the song **"Over My Head (Cable Car)" by the Fray, **"Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall, or "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. Zac, Alexis, Ryan, Jake, and Alec, are all my original characters though, and I do own them.****

* * *

**Chapter 3: Chicago**

It was early afternoon when Alexis finally pulls up to Missouri's house. _Well, here goes nothing_. She gets out of her car and heads to the front door, where Missouri was already waiting.

"Hi Missouri." Alexis says, greeting the older woman.

"It's good to see you Alexis, come on in."

They both walk into the living room and take a seat. "So what can I do for you, honey?" the older woman asks.

"Well, I was wondering if you could sense anything about me." Alexis asks. Something weird was going on with her lately and she needed answers.

"There's some sort of power I've always been able to sense on you, but it seems as you've gotten older, it's gotten stronger. I can't tell you what it is, but I can assure you it is not of evil origin. Have you developed any powers?" she asks Alexis.

"Well, about a month ago I was on a hunt, a lone pair of vamps actually, and I had already decapitated one of them when the other caught me off guard. She knocked my machete out of my hand and had me pinned to the wall. I focused so hard on the machete, thinking if I could somehow get it to my hand, I'd be ok. Well, the machete moved on it's own and decapitated the vamp. It kind of freaked me out, so I tried to push it from my mind. About a week ago I tried seeing if I could move anything else. I was able to push a chair across the room and shut and lock the bathroom door. Then I thought of you and figured you may be able to help. I had lost your number and address, so I decided to stop by my mom's roadhouse and see if either she or Ash had it. Ash had it, and now I'm here." Alexis explains.

Missouri nods and says, "I see. So you've developed telekinesis. I sense more than one power on you, but you should be able to figure that out on your own. They'll come to you. Once they make themselves known, you can come back to me for help. For now, I can help you control your telekinesis if you'd like."

Alexis lets what the woman had said sink in for a minute and then says, "So I have more than one power?" _Great, I'm more of a freak than I already was, _Alexis thinks to herself. _Well, at least Missouri can't read my mind. That's a plus. _"Well, I guess I'd like a little help controlling my telekinesis. But I don't plan on using it unless I absolutely have to. Thank you Missouri."

The two spend the next few hours practicing controlling Alexis' telekinesis, then they make dinner together and Missouri tells Alexis she was staying the night.

* * *

"_And everyone knows I'm in over my head, over my head.." _

Alexis awakes upon hearing this blaring from her phone. _Who is calling me?_ she wonders, reaching over to grab her phone. _Ryan_ flashes across the screen. _Oh, him._

"Hello?" she answers, voice still laced with sleep.

"Hey Lex, did I wake you?" the voice from the other end asks.

"Yeah, you did Ry, but it's no big deal. I slept in for once. What do you need?" Alexis asks while rubbing her eyes with her free hand.

"Oh, I caught wind of a vamp hunt in Illinois and was wondering if you were nearby, I could use some help. I think it's a nest. Jake and I could use another hunter."

"Where at in Illinois? I'm in Lawrence, Kansas right now."

"Just outside of Carbondale. What're you doing in Lawrence?" Ryan asks.

"Carbondale, okay, I think that's about a seven hour drive for me not counting stops. I'll be able to get there by tonight. And I'm just visiting a friend, so I'll be able to get going pretty soon. Are you and Jake there already?" Alexis asks, now fully awake. The hunt had sparked her interest. She liked vampire hunts, they were easier than other creatures and there was something about the easy kill that she liked more than other creatures. Decapitation, it's not that hard to remember, unlike werewolves. Those fuckers had to be killed with a silver bullet to the heart.

"We're about two to three hours out still, I'll call you when we get there and let you know what motel. Be ready to go to a bar or two tonight, see if we can weed out the vamps." Ryan informs her.

"Okay, I'll see you two later today. Bye, Ry."

"Talk to you later, Lex."

Soon after hanging up, Alexis is on her way to meet up with Ryan and Jake. The vamp hunt ended up only taking another two or so days but it gave her something to do before heading to Chicago.

* * *

"Lex, Lexi!" Alexis hears, she turns her head to look at Ryan as he shakes her awake.

"What?" she groggily asks.

"Your phone won't stop ringing! That's like the fifth time in thirty minutes. When did you get so popular?" he asks.

"Shut up!" she laughs, then noticing Jake wasn't there, asks, "Where's Jake?"

"Oh, he went to grab some breakfast for all of us. Don't worry, he's not getting you breakfast food. Anyone who's ever stayed in the same motel as you knows how much you don't like breakfast food. He'll probably get you one of those smoothies you always seem to drink."

"I don't like breakfast food, is that a crime? And smoothies are delicious!" Alexis says, tossing a pillow at Ryan's face.

"_Well I was, Big black horse and a cherry tree, I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me.."_

"God, if I have to hear that ringtone one more time I'm throwing your phone out the window, Lex. Answer your damn phone already and put me out of my misery." Ryan tells her, hands over his ears in exaggerated agony.

"It's a good song!" Alexis exclaims, reaching for her phone.

She sees _Sam _flash across the screen and answers, "Hello?"

"Hey, Lex, its Sam."

"Hey Sam, what's up?" she asks.

"Well, Dean and I just finished up a hunt in Baltimore. Death omen, vengeful spirit. Dean even got arrested for murder."

Alexis hears Dean shout something at Sam and laughs, waiting for Sam to continue.

"Well, we were wondering if you were still up for doing something for your birthday, we don't have another case and we could meet up with you and Jo." Sam says.

"Oh, yeah! I actually just wrapped up a vamp hunt in southern Illinois and was going to head up to Chicago later today. If you and Dean want to head to Chicago, you can meet up with me there. I've got to call Jo and tell her the same thing." Alex tells Sam.

"Sounds good. Do you know where you'll be staying?" Sam asks.

"Well, actually, I own an apartment in downtown Chicago. I've got room for all of us if someone is willing to share a room. It's a hell of a lot better than a crappy motel."

"You have a place in the city?" Sam asks, a hint of surprise evident in his voice. They'd been talking quite a bit since they'd met and it seemed like every time he discovered something new about her.

"I do. It was my friend Zac's, but he passed away about a year ago and left everything he owned to me. He had no family left and I was his best friend. So now I own a three bedroom penthouse in the Windy City, among other things." Alexis explains.

"Wow. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Were you two dating? And did he know about hunting?" Sam asks, unable to hold back his curiosity.

If Alexis didn't know better, she could've sworn she heard a hint of jealousy in Sam's voice, but it couldn't be. They'd only met once, sure they'd talked a lot on the phone the past week, but he couldn't possibly like her. She laughs and says, "No, Sam. He wasn't my boyfriend. Zac was gay, not that that really matters. And he knew about the supernatural, his uncle was a hunter, but he didn't hunt. His uncle is how I met him though." She sighs, thinking of the day she met Zac.

**-Flashback-**

"Hey Bobby! Alec! I'm here!" shouts a teenage Alexis.

Upon receiving no answer, she calls out again, "Bobby?"

Silence.

"Alec?"

Again, nothing.

As she turns the corner into the kitchen, hand already on her gun at the small of her back, she sees a teenage boy dressed in jeans and a grey henley. "Who are you?" Alexis asks, hand still hovering over her gun.

The boy looks up from what he was doing. Upon noticing her stance, he says, "You can relax, I'm Alec's nephew, Zac." He turns away from the counter and walks over to her, extending his hand.

She hesitantly shakes it, "Lexi."

"Uncle Alec and Bobby went on a supply run and I think they were going to stop to eat too, they should be back in a little while." Zac says, turning to walk back to what he was doing.

Alexis walks over to the counter and asks, "Watcha baking?"

"Double chocolate chip cookies."

"Oooh, can I help?" she asks, smiling.

"Sure, wash your hands."

Once she does, she turns back to Zac, eager to help. Staying in crappy motels and occasionally sleeping in her own car meant that it wasn't often she got to bake, or even be in a real kitchen.

"Alright, here. Crack this egg." Zac says, handing her an egg.

Alexis takes the egg from his hand and glances between the bowl and the egg, then at Zac's hair. A smirk crosses her face as she takes the egg and cracks it on his head.

He turns to her, shock evident on his face, and says, "You did not just do that."

"Hey," she begins, raising her hands, "you said to crack the egg. You never said where, and your head looked like a good place to do so." Alexis couldn't hold her laughter anymore and starts cracking up.

Zac grabs another egg and says, "You're so going to regret that."

She tries to wriggle away, but he traps her in the corner and smashes the egg on her head. "Hunter or not, you don't mess with a girl's hair." Alexis says, grabbing a handful of flour from behind her and flinging it at Zac, allowing her to get out from the corner.

That's how Bobby and Alec returned to find them.

"What are you two idjits doing?" Bobby questions, trying to stifle his laughter.

He and Alec stand there taking in the state of the kitchen and the two teenagers before them. Alexis and Zac were both on the floor, covered in eggs, flour, and sugar, hysterically laughing at each other. The kitchen was a mess, and the cookies took about three times as long as they should have to make, but that was a day Alexis wouldn't trade for anything.

**-End Flashback-**

"Lex?" she hears on the other end of the line.

_Sam. Shit, I'm still on the phone. _"I'm here, sorry Sam. Just got caught in a memory." Alexis says with a small laugh.

"Ah. A good one?" he asks.

"Yeah, one of the best." she replies, a small smile finding its way to her face.

She hadn't even noticed that Jake had returned with food until a muffin was thrown at her and Jake was standing in front of her holding out a smoothie saying, "Earth to Alexis! I got you a strawberry banana smoothie and a chocolate chip muffin."

"Thanks, Jake. See Ryan, this is why I like him better."

Ryan gives her a bitch face in response and she just laughs.

"Who's that?" she hears, she had momentarily forgotten, again, that Sam was still on the phone.

"Just two of my hunter friends, they worked the vamp nest with me. Sorry I was interrupted by a muffin hitting me square in the face." Alexis says, sending a pointed look towards Ryan."So the address for the apartment is 222 West Erie Street. I'll definitely be there before you guys so I'll give the guard the heads-up to be expecting you two and Jo. Say you're visiting your friend at the Johnson place. The place is still under Zac's last name, I never bothered to change it." Alexis says, once again thinking of her best friend.

"Alright, we're probably a good day or two's drive from Chicago, so we'll see you when we get there."

"Sounds good, bye Sam."

"Bye Lex."

Once she hangs up, Ryan asks, "Who was that? Your boyfriend?"

"Oooh does little Lexi have a boyfriend?" Jake joins in.

Alexis glares at them and says, "I hate you both. He's just a friend."

"Oh you know you love us. So you're heading out today?" Jake asks.

"Yep, headed up to Chicago. I'll probably hit the road in an hour or so." Alexis tells them. "I've got to call my sister and tell her what I just told Sam." Then, remembering she was still in bed, she adds, "But first, I've gotta shower and change."

An hour later, Alexis was showered, dressed, and on the road. _Crap, I forgot to call Jo. _Alexis grabs her phone and quickly dials her older sister.

"Hello?" the voice on the other line asks.

_That doesn't sound like Jo. Shit, it's mom. _"Um, mom? Where's Jo?" she asks hesitantly.

"She ran to the store. That girl is always forgetting her damn phone. Did you need something?" Ellen asks.

"I was just calling to tell her what I decided on doing for my birthday and was going to see if she still planned on joining me. You'll be pleased to know we won't be hunting. Just tell her I called. Bye, mom." Alexis says, hanging up before her mother could say another word.

_What a great way to start out the drive to Chicago _Alexis thinks to herself. She plugs in her iPod, cranking Taylor Swift up, and heads for the Windy City.

* * *

The drive from Carbondale to Chicago wasn't too long and Alexis got there before dark. She'd only been back to this apartment a handful of times since Zac had passed away. It still felt weird parking in his spot. She still half expected to walk in to the penthouse and be attacked by Zac, but that would never happen again. _Why did you have to die? Why did you have to leave me here? Dammit, I miss you so much._

Zac had died the January of that year. They had spent New Year's Eve together, drinking and laughing. Two weeks later she was burying her best friend. _Goddamn drunk drivers. It should have been me. We were both in that car. Why did it have to be him?_

**-Flashback-**

"Ready to head back, Lex?"

"Yep, you driving or am I?" Alexis asks, standing up next to her best friend.

"I'll drive. You drove here."

"Ok, let's get a move on then."

They were about ten minutes away from the apartment when Alexis feels his eyes on her. "What?" she asks, giving him an odd look.

"Nothing, you're just so beautiful when you laugh. You don't laugh enough."

"Well, maybe if you were funnier I'd laugh more." Alexis says, smiling at him.

Those were the last words she ever heard from him and the last words she ever told him. Not ten seconds later there were bright lights becoming way too close to their car. And then it was like time stopped. She remembers the windshield shattering and the airbags popping out. She remembers hearing horns all around her and the blood curtling crunch of bones breaking. She looks over at her best friend, hoping to see him breathing and telling her everything would be ok. What she did see was an image she would never get out of her head. His neck was bent in a way that no neck should ever be bent, his eyes were wide open. Blood and glass were everywhere.

"Zac…." she says, tears falling freely from her face. She hadn't even noticed that the ambulances had arrived until a paramedic was at her side asking her if she was ok. She tries to say she was fine, that she didn't feel much, but she couldn't. She couldn't speak, she could barely tear her eyes away from her best friend. Not five minutes earlier he was laughing with her, and now, now he would never laugh again.

The trip to the hospital was a blur to Alexis. All she could think was _Zac is dead. My best friend is dead._ He was dead upon impact, no one needed to tell her that. The way his neck was bent told her that loud and clear. She walked away from the crash with a few stitches and a sprained wrist. Zac wouldn't walk away from it at all. She doesn't even remember how she got home that night. Someone must have called her a cab.

The next week was a blur. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore. She never once left the apartment, didn't speak a single word to a single person. Any food she ordered, which wasn't much, was online. She holed herself up in Zac's place, well her place, never leaving once.

The day she left was for his burial. Besides her, only a handful of people showed up. Zac had lost all his family, his brother had killed himself when he was 13, and his parents had died in a car accident when he was 17. Bobby Singer showed up, and had it not been for him, Alexis wasn't sure she'd still be alive right now.

He stayed in town for a day or two, making sure she ate and slept. After two days of her not speaking and barely doing anything, he brought up the idea of her getting out of town for a while. She agreed, there was no one left in the city for her anyway. Alexis followed Bobby back to his place and got back on her feet. She threw herself into hunting, not letting herself think about her best friend.

**\- End Flashback-**

"_Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend! No way! No way! I think you need a new one." _

Music fills the then silent car. _Jo_. Jo had chosen the most obnoxious song as the ringtone for herself on Alexis' phone.

"Hey, Jo." Alexis answers, wiping away the tears that she hadn't realized had been streaming down her face.

"Hey Lex, are you crying? What's wrong?" Jo asks, voice suddenly full of sisterly concern.

"It's nothing, I'm fine. What's up?" she says, trying to erase the evidence of crying from her voice.

"You sure? Well, I was just calling to get the address of where you're going to be. I'm going to head out tomorrow." Jo informs her.

"You're coming?" Alexis asks, mildly surprised.

"Yeah, I told you I would. Just need an address and I'll be there. I wouldn't wanna miss my little sister's 21st birthday."

"Great! The address is 222 West Erie Street in Chicago. It's an apartment, not a motel. Don't ask why I have an apartment, I'll tell you when you get here."

"Awesome. See you then, Lexi."

"Bye, Jo."

After seeing the time on her phone, Alexis realizes she'd been sitting in the car for twenty minutes thinking about Zac. Remembering she still needed to go grocery shopping, she turns the car back on and pulls back onto the road.

* * *

An hour and a half later Alexis was in for the night. Walking in the door of the enormous penthouse, she found herself wishing to see Zac standing there in the hallway, even though she knew she wouldn't. _He's been gone for months, he's not here. _

Alexis puts all the groceries away and pops in the last mix CD Zac had made for them, then walks over to the kitchen. When baking, she and Zac would dance around the kitchen and sing along to whatever CD he had made the most recently. It took them forever to actually bake, but she wouldn't have had it any other way.

She then walks over to the recipe drawer and pulls out a recipe, even though she knew it by heart, seeing that same paper that read "Double Chocolate Chip Cookies" made her smile. It was the same recipe that she and Zac had made the day she met him. It even had the vanilla stain from that day, and numerous other stains from use throughout the years. Alexis bakes a couple dozen cookies and then heads to bed.

She knew she should probably sell the apartment, it was a huge, expensive place for just one person to live in, especially one who was gone more than she was there during the year. She just couldn't bring herself to sell the place. She loved it, the memories attached to it, and the city, too much to let it go.

Alexis quickly gets ready for bed and then lets memories of time she'd spent here with Zac lull her to sleep.

* * *

_A/N: More about Lex's powers will be revealed further on. Please review the story, tell me if you liked it, what you think I could improve. I could really use some feedback. _I picture Zac as Darren Criss, but it doesn't really matter how you picture him. Italics are Lex__'s thoughts. If in quotes, they are song lyrics.__


	4. Good Times

_A/N: The apartment and address that are mentioned are real places in Chicago but the cemetery is not. _

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Lexi and Zac.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Good Times**

It was the now third morning in a row that Alexis was woken up by her phone. _I really need to start putting that thing on silent _she thinks to herself. As she reaches for her phone she catches the time on the clock, _10:15. Shit, did I really sleep that long? _Yawning, she opens her phone and brings it to her ear, "Hello?"

"Hey Lex, it's Dean. Did you just wake up?" Dean asks her, then chuckling he adds, "It's after 10."

"Yea, guess I slept in. So what's up?" she asks him.

"I was just calling to tell you that Sammy and I should be to your place in about an hour." Dean tells her.

"Really? You guys must've done a lot of driving yesterday. Baltimore to Chicago is a good eleven or twelve hour drive nonstop."

"Yeah, we did. Didn't have much else to do anyway. So is Jo coming?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, she is. She should be here sometime today. You and Sam will get here before her I'm guessing. Well I should probably get up and moving, I'll see you guys in an hour."

"See ya soon, Lex."

After hanging up, Alexis sees a text from Jo that was sent about 45 minutes ago. _Should be there in about 4 hours _it read. So she had one hour until the Winchesters arrived and about three hours until her sister arrived.

_I should probably set up the guest rooms and clean up, I haven't been here in months. _Alexis thinks to herself. _And I forgot to buy alcohol last night. Looks like I'm going shopping, again. _

She quickly washes her face and throws on some clothes and makeup, grabs an apple, and is out the door. There was a liquor store in walking distance, so she didn't even bother taking her Camaro. Alexis picks up some beer and some whiskey and then heads clock read 11:05 when she walked back through her apartment door. _The Winchesters will be here soon_.

Sure enough, about five minutes later the buzzer to her place rang and she was opening the door for Sam and Dean.

* * *

Dean was the first one through the door and he immediately begins scanning the place. "Damn, Alexis, how in the hell did you end up with this place? It's awesome! And huge!" Dean exclaims.

"Like I told Sam, it was my best friend's place until he passed away." Alexis tells them, motioning for them to come into the house and out of the foyer.

"Lex, this place is awesome." Sam says as they walk into the living room.

She watches as they take in the floor to ceiling windows and the seemingly endless amount of rooms.

Then Dean spots the terrace, "Dude, there's a terrace too?"

Alexis lets out a small laugh, "Yea, there's a balcony off one of the bedrooms also. The terrace connects into the master bedroom too, which is right across from this room. There's also an awesome pool and hot tub in the building if you guys are up for swimming." Alexis says.

"So, we're obviously in the living room. The kitchen and dining area are pretty much connected." she continues, gesturing to her left. "Then the master bedroom and bath are in there." she says, pointing across the room. "Then there's another bathroom, two bedrooms, and a few closets down the hall. The bedroom with the balcony is the bigger of the two and has two beds in it, so I figured you two could stay in there and I'd give Jo the other one. Sound good to you guys?"

"Sounds great, Lex." Sam says.

"Again, damn, Alexis. This place is massive." Dean adds.

"I know, it still feels weird staying here by myself and calling it my place. Using the master bedroom still feels wrong. I feel like I'll wake up and see Zac making some kind of breakfast food he knows damn well I won't eat." Alexis sadly laughs, "But that won't happen, I guess I've just got to get used to it. Zac's gone and I'm still here, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"I'm sorry, Lex. How long ago was it that he died?" Dean said, sympathy and understanding evident in his voice.

"This past January. Hasn't even been a year." she answers.

"What happened?" Sam asks her with sad but curious eyes.

"I'd rather not talk about it." Feeling tears begin to fill her eyes, she quickly changes the topic, "Are either of you hungry? I made cookies last night."

Sam and Dean share a look but let the topic go. "Ooh, cookies. What kind?" Dean asks.

"Double chocolate chip." Alexis replies, walking over to the counter and grabbing the container of them.

Both brothers walk over to the kitchen and grab a seat at the counter. "So, Alexis. Crucial question. The fate of our friendship lies in your answer." Dean says.

"Okay, shoot." Alexis replies.

"Cake or pie?" Dean asks, dead serious.

Sam lets out a small laugh and Alexis just stares at him. "Seriously?" she asks.

"Yes, now answer the question."

"Neither. Not a big fan of cake or pie. I like to bake them, but not eat them. Besides, cookies are the way to go." Alexis tells him.

Dean just stares at her, mouth hanging open in shock. It was as if she'd told him the sky was falling.

"So much for us being friends." he says, taking a bite of a cookie. "Wait, these are delicious. If you can bake a pie as well as you can bake these, we'll be ok."

"Dean's got a pie addiction." Sam tells her, grabbing a cookie and taking a bite. "Wow. These are good Lex."

"Thanks." she says, smiling at them. "So, we've probably got another two hours until Jo gets here. Either of you want to get some sleep or shower?"

"I think I'll get some sleep." Dean says, standing up.

"Think you can find the bedroom?" she asks.

"Yep." Dean responds, heading towards the hallway.

"I think I'll take a shower." Sam says.

"Use the master bathroom. It has the better shower. Come on, I'll show you where it is. It's actually kinda hidden."

They walk into her bedroom and Sam looks around. "You actually have to walk through the closet to get to the bathroom. Kinda weird, but I like it." Alexis tells him as she leads him through the closet and into the bathroom.

"Well here ya go. The tubs there and the shower's in the corner. Use whatever. I think there's still some of Zac's stuff in here if you want to use that. I'll be out here." she says, walking back out through the closet.

* * *

Alexis pulls a picture frame out from one of the boxes in Zac's, er, her room and sits down on the bed. She gets so lost in thought that she doesn't notice Sam walk up to her until she feels the bed shift as he sits down next to her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, seeing the unshed tears in her eyes.

"You know, this was his room." Alexis says, nodding at the picture she still held in her hands.

Sam looks at the picture and asks, "When was this?"

The picture showed an 18 year-old Alexis laughing at an 18 year old Zac. "This was my 18th birthday. It was taken out on the terrace here by his uncle. He'd only had this place about a month then. He'd made some stupid joke that he knew would make me laugh right before his uncle took the picture." she says.

"You look happy, you both do." Sam says.

"We were." she responds, smiling sadly. "We both had a few boyfriends come and go, but we were always there for each other, you know? God, I miss him so much it hurts." she says, wiping a tear from her eye. She was not going to cry, not now, not in front of Sam. _Pull yourself together, Alexis._

"I know. I know." Sam says. "What happened, Lex? How'd he die? Was it something supernatural?" he adds, curiosity getting the best of him.

"I don't like to talk about it. I don't talk about, never have." she tells him.

"Please?" he asks. He really wanted to know. He felt like they were becoming friends but she was still always so guarded around him. She didn't seem to really let anyone in.

She doesn't know what it was, but there was something in the way he was looking at her that made her tell him. There was no trace of pity in his eyes. Concern, understanding, and his own grief, filled those big brown puppy dog eyes, but no pity. "It was about two weeks after New Years. January 13th, we had gone out for dinner. He had decided to drive back, it was only supposed to be a twenty minute drive anyway. God I wish I hadn't let him drive. I should've driven. If I had, he'd still be here. We were about ten minutes away when a drunk driver rammed into the driver's side of the car. I walked away from the crash a bit banged up and my best friend didn't. Zac was dead on impact. I'll never, _ever, _forget that image of my best friend lying there dead, eyes lifeless. It should've been me, Sam. I'd give anything for it to have been me." she says, now unable to stop the tears from spilling out of her eyes.

Sam puts his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer him, and rests his chin on her head. "I'm so sorry, Lex." He sits there holding her for a few more minutes until she stops crying.

She pulls back from him, embarrassed that she had cried. She still didn't really know Sam. What the hell was it about him that made her open up to him like that?

Sam wipes a tear from her cheek and says, "Hey, I know it's hard. And it won't go away, but it'll get easier. Hold on to the good memories, think of him as watching over you. He'd want to see you happy. Smiling and laughing. That's what I do with Jessica, my mom too."

"Thanks, Sam." she says.

"What was the memory you thought of the other day on the phone?" Sam asks her, clearly trying to get her to cheer up.

She smiles slightly and says, "Oh, that. It was the first time I met Zac. I had showed up at his uncles house. Alec and Bobby were expecting me. I hadn't been hunting much more than a year, they always tried to keep me with someone on hunts. Bobby, Alec, your dad, Rufus, even Caleb. I guess none of them really wanted me hunting alone much. I had walked into the house and called out for them, but got no response. So when I walked in the kitchen, there was a teenage boy with black hair standing there baking. I asked who he was and he told me he was Alec's nephew, Zac. I ended up helping him bake and we got into a food fight." She laughs, "I can still hear Bobby's voice clear as day when they got back and saw us, 'What are you two idjits doing?' That was a good day."

She pauses for a minute, replaying the memory in her head again and then says, "Well Jo should be here within the hour, and I'm thirsty. I'm going to head back into the kitchen." Alexis stands up and walks out of the room, towards the fridge, and Sam follows her.

"Want something to drink?" she asks, opening the fridge.

"Sure." he responds.

She pulls out two cokes and sits down on the barstool next to him.

They sit there, each telling the other about their most recent hunt. About a half an hour later Dean walks out and joins the conversation. Ten minutes after that, the buzzer rings. Jo had arrived.

* * *

The clock reads _1:35_ when Jo walks through the apartment door.

"Happy birthday, little sister." Jo says, pulling Alexis into a hug.

"Thanks. You know its tomorrow though, right?" Alexis asks.

Jo just laughs. "Wow, Lex. This place is amazing. So you told me you'd tell me how you got this when I got here. Well, I'm here. Spill."

"It was my best friend's place, he left it to me after he passed." Alexis says, leading Jo into the kitchen where the Winchesters were.

"Oh, I'm sorry Lex. I didn't know." Jo says, turning to look at her sister.

"It's fine." she says.

"Hey Jo." Sam and Dean say simultaneously as Jo and Alexis walk into the kitchen.

"Hey, when did you guys get here?" Jo asks the boys.

"About two hours ago." Dean tells her.

"So," Alexis begins, "we've got some time before dinner. Anyone want to go swimming?"

"Sure." Sam and Dean reply.

"Definitely! Glad you told me to bring a swimsuit." Jo says.

"Great." Alexis says, walking towards her bedroom. Then, remembering she hadn't showed Jo her room, she turns and says, "Jo, your room is all the way on the other side of the place. It's right by the boys' room."

"Okay, thanks." Jo replies.

Alexis walks into her room and over to the dresser. She pulls out a green, grey, and white chevron bikini top with matching bottoms. As she pulls off her shirt, she realizes the bikini would show off some of the tattoos that none of them knew she had. Alexis shrugs, _Oh well, they'll know now._ She pulls on the bikini and puts her wavy chocolate colored hair into a ponytail then walks in front of the mirror. Three of her four black bird tattoos were visible on her hip, the other still hidden under the waist of the bikini bottom. Her anti-possession tattoo was also half visible on her other hip. She'd gotten that after getting possessed once on a hunt. She did _not_ want that to happen again. _I prefer to be in control of my own body, thank you very much, _she thinks to herself. Turning to the side, she could see the tattoo of the date 1-13-06 on her ankle. Then, looking down at her arms, she sees the word _Warrior _that was inked in black on her left wrist. On her right wrist, there was a small black-outlined heart. Further up on the same arm was a white ink tattoo of an arrow. Each one had a meaning behind it and she liked them all, so it didn't matter what Sam, Dean, or her sister said. She throws on a tank top cover up, grabs a towel, and heads back out towards the living room.

Alexis pauses for a minute upon seeing Sam and Dean standing there, shirtless. She has to admit, they both look damn good. She hears the door to Jo's room open, and moments later Jo was standing there wearing a white leopard print bikini and a tank top also.

"Alright, ready to go?" Alexis asks, turning towards the door. They couldn't see her tattoos on her hip yet, and they had yet to notice the ones on her wrist or ankle, but they would soon enough.

They all shake their heads yes and she tosses them each a towel. "Let's go then."

They head down to the indoor pool and find that it was empty. It wasn't used much during the fall and winter, and anyone who tended to use it did so in the morning. Alexis walks over to one of the tables and puts her towel down, and Sam, Dean, and Jo follow suit. She pulls off her tank top, placing it over the back of a chair, and then turns to face them.

Almost immediately their eyes fell on her tattoos. "When the hell did you get tattoos?" Jo asks, sounding more surprised than actually angry.

"Got my first one when I turned 18, Zac took me. The rest I've accumulated since then."

"The rest?" Dean asks, "How many do you have?"

She notices Sam's eyes were still scanning her body, probably looking for more tattoos and taking in all of her scars. "Well," Alexis begins, "If you count these four as one, since I got them all together and they're the same," she says, gesturing towards the birds on her left hip, "I have six."

"Six?" Jo repeats, visibly shocked.

"Where are the others?" Sam finally says.

Alexis points to the one on her right ankle and says "There's my most recent one. And then I have these." she says, stretching out her arms.

"Wow." they all say at once.

"What's the symbol?" Sam asks, pointing to the one on her right hip.

"Oh, that's my anti-possession tattoo. Got possessed once, and I'd rather that not happen again." Alexis explains.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's swim."

"You first." Dean says, and before she could react, Dean lifts her up and throws her into the pool.

"Oh you're so dead, Winchester."

Sam pushes Dean in and then he and Jo jump in after. Alexis was already on Dean's back tickling and dunking him while he was unsuccessfully trying to shake her off.

Jo and Sam watch them for a moment, laughing, when Jo smirks at Sam as she jumps onto his back. "I noticed you didn't get your hair wet. Let me fix that." she says.

"Jo! Stop!" Sam exclaims, but soon Jo was tickling him and pushing him under water.

The brothers look at each other, each with a Harvelle on their backs. They both shake their heads and return to trying to shake off the sister on their back.

They spent the next hour and a half swimming and splashing each other until Alexis says, "I'm going to get in the hot tub."

"Ooo, I'll come with." Jo says.

The two sisters sit down across from each other in the hot tub and relaxed. A few minutes later Sam was sitting down next to Alexis and Dean next to Jo.

"This place is seriously awesome." Dean says.

"Yeah, it's nice." Alexis says.

They all sat there in a comfortable silence for a while until the jets turn off. "I think I'm going to get out and head back up. You guys can stay down here if you want." Alexis tells them.

"I'll go up with you." Sam says.

"I'm going to stay down here a little longer." Jo says.

"So am I." Dean adds.

"Okay." Alexis says, running her towel through her wet hair. She and Sam head out of the pool and towards the elevator.

"So," Sam begins as they wait for the elevator, "I don't know what Dean and Jo think about your tattoos but I like them. They seem to all have some meaning. What do the birds mean?"

"I liked how bird tattoos looked, so I decided to get one for each member of my family. The biggest one representing my dad, the next my mom, the next Jo, and the smallest one, me." Alexis tells him. O_kay, that's not entirely true, there isn't one for me, but he doesn't need to know that, not yet._ "They're my favorite. They're the first ones I got too."

Sam just nods as they step onto the elevator.

* * *

The clock reads _4:00_ when Alexis and Sam walk in the door.

"Well, I'm going to go take a shower." Alexis states, heading towards her room.

She walks back out of her room twenty-five minutes later and finds Sam looking at some of the pictures that were sitting out. "Whatcha looking at?" she asks, walking over to where he was standing.

"When was this one?" he asks, pointing to the middle picture.

"Oh, that's me, Jo, and my dad. I was 5, Jo was 7. It was the summer of 1991. We were somewhere in New York."

"So that's what your dad looked like?" Sam asks.

Alexis nods.

"I see where you get your smile from now." he tells her.

"Really? You think I have my dad's smile?" Alexis asks, smiling.

"Definitely." Sam says, looking between her and the picture.

Dean and Jo come back about ten minutes later and by six they had decided it was time for dinner.

"So, there's a Corner Bakery a few blocks from here. We could walk there and have dinner." Alexis suggests.

They all stare at her, not recognizing the name.

"Seriously? None of you have ever been to a Corner Bakery?"

They shake their heads no.

"Well then, that's where we're going."

"Do they have pie?" Dean asks.

"Yes Dean, they have pie." Alexis says.

"Well what are we waiting for then? Let's go!" Dean says, reaching for his jacket.

"Let me change first." both Jo and Alexis say at the same time.

"Alright, alright. Go do your girl stuff but hurry up, there's pie waiting for me."

The sisters both roll their eyes at him and then walk off to get changed.

Alexis pulls on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a plain lavender v-neck, and a black jacket. The only make up she puts on is some mascara, and then just lets her naturally wavy hair hang loose. She was ready in fifteen minutes.

Jo walks out at nearly the same time wearing a similar pair of jeans and a simple navy blue and white striped t-shirt with her blonde hair pulled back.

"Let's go."

They all enjoyed their dinner, and Dean of course got his pie.

"So, Lexi," Jo begins as they board the elevator back up to the apartment, "what do you want to do for your birthday tomorrow?"

"Well, I was thinking we could go to Millennium park and out to lunch at one of my favorite places, Flat Top Grill. I also want to go to Sprinkles cupcakes, they're amazing. They even have a cupcake ATM. Then I figured we could go to a bar or something at night." Alexis tells them.

"Sounds like a plan, birthday girl." Jo says.

"Cupcakes?" Dean asks, looking mildly appalled.

"Dean, go along with it and I might bake you a pie." Alexis tells him.

"I meant, yum, cupcakes!" Dean says, false enthusiasm evident in his voice and a fake smile plastered on his face.

"It's still kind of early," Alexis begins as they walk into the foyer of the apartment, "anyone up for a

movie?"

"No chick-flicks." Dean and Jo simultaneously say.

"I swear it's like you two are the same person sometimes." Alexis states, shaking her head slightly.

"Are not!" they say at the same time yet again.

"Sure." Sam says as he and Alexis let out a laugh.

"Ok, I'm putting in Bridge To Terabithia because that's one of the few things I have that I haven't seen a gazillion times."

The four of them spend the rest of the night watching the movie. By eleven, everyone had gone to bed.

* * *

Alexis was lying in bed tossing and turning. _2:12, well happy birthday to me I guess. _After another twenty minutes of tirelessly shifting and turning in her bed, Alexis decides to get up and go out on the terrace. New York may be the city that never sleeps, but Chicago is never exactly quiet either. She gets so lost in her thoughts that she doesn't even hear the door slide open.

"Can't sleep?"

Alexis turns to see Dean walking over to her. "Not really, you?" she asks him.

"Nope, guess that nap earlier was a bad idea. So, what's on your mind that's got you up?" Dean asks.

"I was just thinking about how different things were on my last birthday. Zac insisted I come spend a week or two out here with him, away from hunting all the time. Zac wasn't a guy who took no easily, so I came. We spent the day shopping and just doing stuff around the city. His parents had died only a few months before and it was that night that he told me that if something were to happen to him, he was leaving everything to me. He said I was all he had left. I told him he was crazy, nothing was going to happen to him. He just looked at me and said, 'Lex, accidents happen. My parents died in a car crash. This time next year I could be gone. I hope you're right, nothing will happen. But we never know, and I want to make sure you would get everything.' God, why did he have to be right? I mean, here I am, one year later, and he's not. Died in a car accident, just like his parents. It should've been me Dean, I should've driven."

"It was a car accident? And you were both in it?" Dean asks, having not heard the story before.

"Yeah, drunk driver rammed into the drivers side. Had I driven, he'd still be here."

"I'm sorry Lex. I know what that feels like, to think it should've been you. But you can dwell on that forever and it won't change anything. My dad traded his soul for my life, and I can't do a damn thing about it. Sometimes you just have to push through and move on, don't get hung up on the what ifs." Dean says.

"Yea, I guess you're right. Thanks, Dean." Alexis tells him.

"Have you visited his grave yet?" Dean asks her.

"No, I haven't been able to."

"Well, let's go then. You've got to let this go Alexis, it'll eat you up inside. You'll never forget him or the accident, but you've got to move on. Stop with all the what ifs and I should haves." he replies, looking at her with knowing eyes.

"You're asking me to go to a cemetery at a quarter to three in the morning?" Alexis asks him.

"Great way to start your birthday, right?" Dean says.

"You can say that again. Let's go."

* * *

**Aubrey Hills Cemetery, Chicago, IL. October 7th, 2006.**

"Do what you need to do, I'll be right over here." Dean tells Alexis.

She makes her way to Zac's grave. This was the first time she'd seen it. _What a great friend I am_ she thinks. "Damnit Zac, you were always wrong. Why the hell did you have to pick this time to be right? You told me last year 'this time next year I might not be here' and look where I'm standing now. You left me here all alone Zac. Why? Why couldn't you have taken me with you? There's nothing here for me! You had so much to live for. I'm just a hunter who wouldn't be missed. I know, you'd tell me that there's my mom, and Jo, and Ash. But I never see them much anyway, and I'm basically dead to my mom already. Maybe I'm supposed to let this go. But there will never be a day that passes that I don't believe it should've been me and not you, Zac. You had friends, a job, you had a life. And yet, somehow, I'm the one standing here. How fucked up is that? I miss you so goddamn much Zac. I've been so alone this past year. Who am I supposed to bake and dance around the kitchen with now? Who will let me complain for hours on end to them? Let me sing at the top of my lungs and mess around on the guitar? You're supposed to be here. You're supposed to be here." Her last words break and she sinks to her knees, struggling to reign in her tears. _Stop crying all the damn time. Pull yourself together Alexis._

She feels Dean by her side, pulling her into his arms. "It's ok, hey, it's ok. Just let it out. Let it all out, you'll feel better, I promise." he tells her, one hand rubbing her back.

The two sit there like that for a while until Alexis pulls her head back to look at Dean. "I'm sorry, you didn't need to see this."

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about. Come on, let's get out of here." he tells her, helping her up.

Dean wraps his arm around her shoulder and leads her to the car.

Before getting in, she stops him and says, "Thank you, Dean. I don't think I'd have come on my own."

"No problem, Lex."

* * *

Dean and Alexis get back to the apartment a little before four am. They were each greeted by their very distraught siblings.

"Where the hell were you two?" Sam demands.

"You had us worried out of our damn minds! You couldn't have left a note?" Jo practically yells.

Alexis simply says, "I'm going to bed." She then heads towards her room.

"Alexis!" Jo calls after her, but she doesn't turn around.

"Leave her be." Dean says.

Sam and Jo both turn to stare incredulously at Dean, still waiting to hear where they were.

"We were at the cemetery, ok? I'm sorry we didn't leave a note. Didn't think either of you would wake up."

"The cemetery?" Sam and Jo ask at the same time.

"Yeah, don't push her on it, ok? Just go back to sleep." Dean says, walking towards his room.

Alexis was the first one up later on that morning. She rolls out of bed at 9:50. She was born at some time during the six o'clock hour in the morning, so that made her technically 21 already. She throws on a hoodie over her tank top and shorts and walks out into the kitchen. Seeing that no one else was up, she grabs an apple Izze from the fridge, since she didn't do coffee, then sits down at the counter.

Ten minutes later, Sam walks out. "Morning, Lex. Happy birthday." he says.

"Thanks."

"Where's the coffee pot?" Sam asks.

"Oh, um, I think Zac kept it underneath the sink. Hopefully there's still some coffee left."

"You haven't bought any?" Sam asks, looking at her with a mixture of confusion and surprise.

"Nope, don't drink coffee. Always hated the stuff." Alexis simply tells him.

"A hunter who doesn't like coffee. Huh. You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Sam says.

"That's me, one surprise after the other." Alexis replies. "Another thing, I don't do breakfast foods. So there's probably not much around."

"No coffee and no breakfast food? Wow."

"I have weird tastes in food." She says, slightly laughing.

"You could grab a granola bar or some yogurt. There's eggs and I think I grabbed bacon, otherwise we can go out for an early lunch when Jo and Dean wake up."

"Found the coffee!" Sam exclaims, "And sounds good. I'll grab a granola bar. Where are they?"

"Cabinet near your head to your left. And toss me one."

Sam puts the coffee on, grabs two granola bars, and takes a seat next to Alexis. "So, got any other weird food likes or dislikes that I should know about?" he asks her.

Alexis laughs and says, "Let's see. I don't do seafood. Something that once swam or lived in the ocean, no thank you. Um, I also don't like hamburgers. Really, I don't eat much red meat at all. Oh, I love milkshakes and fries together."

"No hamburgers? Dean's going to have a field day with that one. And milkshakes and fries? Really?" Sam asks, slightly laughing.

"Hey, don't knock it till you try it!" Alexis exclaims.

Jo and Dean were up within the next hour and they all got ready to go to lunch and then Millennium Park. Alexis wore a mint colored top with a jacket and yoga pants, Jo wore a cream colored sweater and dark washed skinny jeans, and both boys wore one of their seemingly endless plaid shirts with jeans.

"So, what's at this Millenium Park place anyway?" Dean asks.

"The bean!" Alexis says.

"The what?" Jo asks.

"The Cloud Gate?" Sam questions.

"Well, that's it's real name, but no one calls it that, Sam." Alexis says with a laugh. "It's this big structure shaped like a bean and it's like a giant mirror. It's pretty cool. I like the park better in the summer, but it's always pretty."

"So we're going to see some giant mirror bean?" Dean says.

"Basically." Alexis says.

"But first, lunch. Then the Bean. Then I thought we'd head to the Sears Tower and go out on the sky deck. Dean, you can pass on that."

"Why would I do that?" Dean says, not knowing what she was talking about.

Sam laughs, seemingly knowing what Alexis was talking about.

"Well, since you're afraid of flying, I figured you would rather not go in a small clear box like ledge that juts about four feet out from the 103rd floor. It's something like 1,350 feet in the air, Dean." Alexis says.

Dean's face had paled and he gulps and says, "Oh."

"1,350 feet in the sky?!" Jo repeats.

"Oh come on Jo, don't tell me you're scared too."

"I'm not scared!" Jo says.

"Hey! Neither am I!" exclaims Dean.

"So if neither of you are scared you'll both go out on the ledge?" Alexis asks, some disbelief seeping into her words.

The two exchange nervous glances before saying, "Of course!" in rather pinched voices.

"Whatever you say guys. Let's go to lunch."

* * *

After lunch at Flat Top Grill they headed to Millenium Park. Since it was a Tuesday afternoon in October, the park was fairly empty. They took hundreds of goofy pictures at the bean. Alexis' favorite was probably the one where she was on Sam's back and Jo was on Dean's in front of the bean. All four of them have huge, genuine smiles on their faces. They look like four happy, carefree, friends in their twenties. For the first time in a long time, Alexis was genuinely happy. Some of the pictures were down right ridiculous. There's one with both brothers doing their best blue steel faces and another where Jo and Alexis are making the weirdest faces they possibly can. When they were done there, they headed to the Sears tower.

"Ok. I have four tickets to the ledge, are you sure you two want to go up? You can stay down here." Alexis asks Jo and Dean.

"We're coming." the two respond, notes of determination seeping into their words.

"Alright, you had your chance to back out. Let's go."

The four go up to the 103rd floor and Alexis and Sam were the first two on the ledge. Sam turns and says, "Are you two coming or what?"

Dean and Jo were standing there nervously glancing from the ledge to each other. All determination they'd had earlier seemed to have been left in the elevator.

"Yep." Jo hesitantly says, stepping forward and pulling Dean with her. The looks on both of their faces as they stepped out onto the ledge were absolutely priceless.

Alexis had never seen a grown, badass hunter look so scared, her sister either for that matter. She quickly snaps a few pictures of them and they both back out after lasting a total of fifty seconds.

She turns to Sam and says, "Imagine if I made them go skydiving." They both burst out laughing at the thought.

"The view from up here is insane." Sam says, looking around.

"I know, I've been up here twice before. The first time was a bit scary, but now, I like it. You can see everything."

The two spend a few more minutes admiring the view and taking a couple pictures and then join Dean and Jo by the elevators. "You two okay?" Sam asks, trying not to laugh.

After seemingly noticing both his brother and Alexis were close to cracking up, Dean says, "Shut up. Let's just get the hell out of here."

"So, what next?" Jo asks as they walk out of the tower.

"Well, I thought we could head over towards Sprinkles cupcakes. There's also a Hershey store pretty close to it. Any Hershey candy you can name, they have it." Alexis says.

"Let's go there, then." Dean says.

They ended up with two buckets full of varying chocolates and a few bags of candy from the store. The four then headed over to Sprinkles cupcakes.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm not hungry yet, so I'm going to get a cupcake from the cupcake ATM." Alexis tells them, standing just outside the small shop. They each ended up with one cupcake from the ATM and then decide to head back to the apartment.

* * *

Around six Dean asks about dinner, "So, what're we doing for dinner, birthday girl?"

"I was thinking maybe the Cheesecake Factory? I rarely go to nicer places, and I know you guys don't either." Alexis tells him.

"Sounds good, Lex. But first, I'm giving you your birthday gift." Jo says, standing up.

"Us too." Sam says.

"You guys didn't have to get me anything." Alexis tells them.

"You're kidding, right? It's your birthday, and you're letting us stay here." Dean says, handing her a gift.

She opens the box and inside was a beautiful silver blade with an _A _engraved on it. "Dean, this is

beautiful. Thank you." she says, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Sam then hands her his gift. Inside is a gorgeous silver necklace with three charms on it. "The charms are supposed to be different protection charms. I thought you'd like it." Sam says.

"I love it, thank you so much Sam." she tells him, standing up to give him a hug.

"Ok, my turn." Jo says, handing Alexis two gifts. "The smaller one is from Mom."

"Really?" Alexis asks, her voice laced with surprise.

She opens Jo's first. Inside was a set of old guitar picks, an old journal, and a rose-gold ring with some sigil engraved on it. "Jo," Alexis begins, "are these dad's old guitar picks and one of his journal's?"

"They are."

"Thank you so so much. You're the best." she says, pulling her sister into a hug.

She opens her mother's gift and saw only a USB stick. _Huh, wonder what's on here_ she thinks to herself.

"So, Lex, do you still play the guitar?" Jo asks.

"Sometimes."

"Play something for us! And sing! God, I haven't heard you sing in the longest time!" Jo says.

"I don't know, Jo."

"Come on, please?" Jo says, giving her little sister her best puppy dog face.

"Fine, one song." Alexis says reluctantly, walking towards a closet and pulling out a guitar. She walks back over, picks up one of her dad's picks, and begins to play a song she knows by heart.

"_In fairness I was an easy sell_

_Though I'm embarrassed to admit it to myself_

_And the worst part is you know it all too well_

_So don't take advantage of my transparent shell, no"_

Shaking off the nerves, she takes a deep breath and continues:

"_Oh, but I think you would know what I need_

_Impossible as it may seem, I think it's easy to see_

_I am awake, it's getting late_

_I'm in no state to be alone now, yeah I'm alone now_

_Come light the fire in my room_

_I think I'm losing all control now, I don't even know how_

_But I'm in your riptide and now I'm inside out_

_Now I'm in a corner of the street cafe_

_My heart is warmer since I heard from you today_

_Like a shallow creek I am gleaming_

_No chance of keeping any secrets_

_Have I lost enough security?_

_I am awake, it's getting late_

_I'm in no state to be alone now, yeah I'm alone now_

_Come light the fire in my room_

_I think I'm losing all control now, I don't even know how_

_But I'm in your riptide and now I'm inside out_

_I tried to hide it, I can't deny it_

_Now I'm inside out_

_Say you love me, it's all or nothing_

_Now I'm inside out_

_I am awake, it's getting late_

_I'm in no state to be alone now, yeah I'm alone now_

_Come light the fire in my room_

_I think I'm losing all control now, I don't even know how, no, no_

_I am awake, it's getting late_

_I'm in no state to be alone now, yeah I'm alone now_

_Come light the fire in my room_

_I think I'm losing all control now, I don't even know how_

_But I'm in your riptide and now I'm inside out"_

Alexis finishes and sets the guitar down. _Holy crap, I can't believe I just did that _she thinks to herself. She hadn't sung in forever and even then she never really sang for anyone. She looks up and sees Sam, Dean, and Jo all staring at her, mouths slightly hanging open. _Oh God, was I that bad?_

"That was amazing, Lex." Dean says.

"I forgot how beautiful your voice was Lexi." Jo tells her, thinking back to the first car she ever bought. The radio needed to be replaced so the entire ride back from the place she bought it she made Alexis sing in place of it.

"Damn." is all Sam says.

"You guys really thought it was good?" she asks, genuinely surprised at their reactions.

"Not just good, amazing, Lex." Sam says.

"What was the song anyway?" Jo asks.

"It's _Inside Out_ by Kate Voegele." Alexis answers. "So, how about we go for dinner now?" she adds before she could be asked to play another song.

Accepting the quick change in topic, they all nod. "Sure." Jo says.

In the car, Dean asks Alexis, "So, if you're not a cake or pie person, what about cheesecake?"

"Some kinds are ok, some are too rich."

Dean just shakes his head.

The four of them spend their dinner talking and eating. Once they'd paid the bill and were heading back to the car, Jo turns to her sister and says, "Ok, you've called the shots all day today. It's your 21st birthday, we're taking you to a club."

"Seriously?" Alexis asks but the looks on all three of their faces give her her answer. _A club, well this could be fun._

* * *

They went back to the apartment and all changed their clothes. The boys simply change their shirts and Sam grabs a different jacket.

Jo changes into black skinny jeans and a tight fitting, low cut, mint colored top. She puts on some makeup and lets her hair down as well.

Alexis changes into dark-wash skinny jeans and a turquoise sheer lace top with a black bra underneath, since it was slightly visible. She puts on the necklace Sam had given her and the ring from Jo. She lets her dark brown hair fall in loose curls and applies mascara, eyeliner, and some lipstick. She then grabs her favorite boots from her closet and pulls them on, slipping a small blade into her right boot. _Never go anywhere naked_.

Standing in front of her full length mirror, she looks nothing like the hunter she was. She really looked like a normal girl going to a bar with friends. _And that's the beauty of clothes and makeup, _she thinks to herself, remembering one of the countless times her appearance saved her ass.

When she walks out of her bedroom, Sam and Dean both have their backs to her, but Jo sees her right away. "Wow, Lex. You look amazing." Jo says.

"Thanks, Jo. So do you." she says smiling.

When Sam and Dean turn to face her, their mouths practically hit the floor and she could've sworn Sam's eyes were going to pop out of his giant head. "Wow." they both say simultaneously.

"Harvelles clean up good I see." Dean adds.

"Seems Winchesters aren't too shabby either." Jo responds.

"Alright, what club are you three dragging me too?" Alexis asks.

"You'll see." is all Jo says, "Let's go."

"We're taking the Impala, and I'm driving." Dean states.

When they reach the car, Dean says, "Birthday girl gets shotgun, sorry Sammy."

"Yeah, sorry Sammy." she says with a smile, clearly not sorry at all.

They reach the club about fifteen minutes later.

"Oh this club?" Alexis asks.

Dean turns to look at her, "You've been here before?"

"Yep, a couple times. It's pretty cool. It is a Tuesday night though."

"You just turned 21, how have you been here before?" Jo asks, flying into older sister mode.

"Hello? Fake ID's? Besides, you're the ones who brought me here. C'mon, let's go in."

Jo and Dean walk ahead and Alexis falls into step with Sam.

"You probably didn't have to say you've been here before." Sam tells her.

"I know, but what's the point in being the younger sibling if you can't give your older sibling a hard time?" she says.

Sam just laughs.

They all walk in, grab seats at the bar, and order their first drinks. Dean ordered a Jameson on the rocks, Jo ordered a Screwdriver, Alexis got a Long Island Iced Tea, and Sam ordered a Crown Royal with Coke. By the time they got their second drinks, Jo was on the dance floor and Dean was flirting with some blonde across the room. Alexis orders a shot of Tequila and remains at the bar talking with Sam. She and Sam switch to beers after that, both realizing they were more than likely going to have two very drunk older siblings on their hands.

It was a little before one am and Sam had just gone to the bathroom when Alexis hears, "Lexi?"

_Oh no, please don't be who I think it is. Please don't be him. _She turns her barstool to face the guy and says, "Alex." _Damn, it is him._

"I thought that was you sitting here all alone! Long time no see." he says, slightly slurring his words.

_Oh no, he's been drinking, a lot. _She'd dated Alex for a little while, but he turned out to be a real douche bag, so she broke it off and didn't return to Chicago for a while after. She managed to go nearly two years without running into him. He was not a fun drunk to be around.

"So what're you doing here all by yourself?"

"I'm not." she tells him.

"Well, I don't see anyone sitting next to you. You left so quickly the last time, why don't we pick up where we left off?" he says, putting his hand on her thigh.

"Alex, no." she firmly says, trying to get his hand off of her, but he just tightens his grip.

"Come on, Lexi. You know you want to."

"Get off of me, Alex." she says through a clenched jaw.

"Hey!"

_Sam._

"She said get off of her. Now do I have to make you?" Sam says in a threatening tone of voice. He straightens up, preparing to punch the guy if need be.

"Who the hell are you?" Alex asks, still not taking his hand off of Alexis.

"Doesn't matter. Take your hand off of her or I will do it for you." Sam says, his jaw clenched.

Alex seems to pick up on the fact that Sam towered over him and moves his hand.

"Whatever, she wasn't even that good of a lay anyway."

Apparently, Sam had lost what little patience he had left because his fist connected with Alex's jaw seconds later. Dean and Jo must have noticed because they were already headed for the door, knowing Alexis and Sam would be out pretty quickly too. Sam turns to Alexis, jaw still clenched, and says, "Let's go."

She walks behind him and as soon as they were outside Sam turns to her, "Did he hurt you?" he asks, eyes scanning her body for any reason to go back in there and kill Alex.

"Sam, I'm ok. Let's just go." Alexis responds.

"You're sure? I can go back in there and beat him up."

"He's a douche bag, Sam. He's not worth it." she tells him.

"Ok." Sam says.

"Thanks, Sam." Alexis says, walking a little closer to him.

"Anytime you need me to punch a dick for you, just let me know." Sam says.

"Will do." Alexis replies with a laugh and then says, "Let's go deal with our heavily intoxicated siblings."

* * *

By the time they got back to the apartment and got Jo and Dean to bed, it was almost two in the morning.

"So," Sam begins, "did you know that guy back at the club?" He and Alexis were both sitting on the couch in the living room. When he walked out of the bathroom and saw that guy hitting on Lex and that she didn't want him there, he was ready to kill the guy then and there, but he restrained himself. When he heard the comment the guy had made about her 'not being that good of a lay anyway' he lost it. He doesn't know what exactly came over him, the urge to protect Alexis? Jealousy? Both?

"Yeah, his name's Alex." she begins. "I met him about two years ago. We dated for maybe six weeks. The first three or four weeks weren't bad, the dates were decent and he was nice. I quickly realized how much of a dick he truly was when I started spending more time with him. He got really bad when he was drunk, pretty handsy too. So I broke it off and picked up hunts far away for a while. Zac wasn't too thrilled that I was gone for a few months, but he understood. I hadn't seen Alex since the day I broke up with him and split until today." she finishes.

"Oh." is all Sam says. _Yep, it was definitely jealousy that came over me _he thinks.

"Yeah." she says.

"Well, we should probably both get some sleep. I promised Dean I'd bake him a pie tomorrow."

Sam laughs and says, "He'll hold you to that too."

"I know. Goodnight Sam." Alexis says, heading towards her room.

"Night, Lex."


	5. Demon Days

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Alexis, Ryan, and Jake. **

* * *

**Chapter 5: Demon Days**

Alexis wakes up to the sound of her cellphone yet again. As she reaches for her phone she sees that it's only 7. _Who the hell is calling me at 7 am?_ She looks at her phone and sees _Jake _flash across the screen.

"Hey, Jake." she answers, voice still groggy.

"Hey, Lex. Sorry to wake you, but I, well we, kind of need you. Fast." Jake says rapidly.

"Woah, Jake. Slow down. What happened?" she asks, already getting out of bed.

"Ryan and I were, well are, on a hunt. Demons we think, and he's gone. I think they took him, Lex. This is bad, and I'm out numbered."

"Shit. Where are you? I'll leave as soon as I can." Alexis asks, beginning to hastily throw a bag together.

"Gary, Indiana." Jake responds.

"Ok, I'm only about an hour or two from there. I'll be there as soon as I can. Stay calm and stay in your motel room. What motel is it?"

"Bates Inn."

"Ok, I'll see you soon. We'll find Ryan, Jake. We will."

She quickly gets dressed and grabs some stuff. All she had to do now was leave a note for her sister and the Winchesters. She walks out of her room and sees that Sam is already up.

He looks up at her and asks, "Where are you going?"

"Look, Sam, I've got to go, now. Tell Dean and Jo that. You guys can stay as long as you want, there's an extra key in the drawer." she quickly says, already heading towards the door.

Sam grabs her arm and spins her around. "Alexis, slow down. What happened?"

"I just.. I have to go, Sam. Let me go." she says, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. The longer she took to leave, the longer it would take her to get there.

"No. I'm coming with you." he firmly tells her. She looked panicked. Something was clearly wrong and whatever it was, Sam wasn't letting her go alone.

"What? No." she says.

"Yes. I'm not letting you go alone."

"But.." Alexis begins but Sam cuts her off.

"No buts, I'm coming."

Seeing that there was no way she was getting out that door without him, she relents. "Fine, grab your bag. I'll write a note for Dean and Jo." They were out the door five minutes later.

"So, are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?" Sam asks as they pull out of the garage.

"No, I told you not to come." Alexis says.

"Seriously?" Sam questions, slight disbelief in his voice.

She ignores him and continues staring at the road. Ryan was in trouble and she needed to get there as fast as she could, no time for small talk. Alexis made the drive in under 90 minutes, not stopping once.

* * *

Once there, she heads straight for the motel room that Jake was in. Noticing the door was cracked, she picks up her pace. Sam was shouting after her, struggling to catch up with her. Gun out and ready, Alexis kicks open the door. The room was a wreck and there was no sign of Jake. "Fuck." she states.

"Alexis, what the hell is going on?" Sam asks in a tone that was more demanding than questioning.

She knew he deserved to know, but she wanted to come alone.

"We don't have time, Sam. Demons have both of my friends. We have to find them, now." she says, then adds, "Maybe Jake has his cell and I can track it."

Within minutes she had the location of an abandoned warehouse. "Let's go." she says, standing up to head for the door.

"Wait, Lex. We can't just walk in there blind."

"We don't have _time_, Sam. Now are you with me or not?"

"Fine."

It took them about twenty minutes to get to the warehouse. "Alright, we have no idea how many demons are in there, but we've got to go in anyway. Here, this gun shoots holy water. See this?" she asks, pointing to a charm on her bracelet.

"Yeah." Sam replies.

"If I press it, an exorcism starts to play. Zac made it. So no matter how many are in there, if we can distract them long enough to let it play through, we're golden." Alexis says.

"Ok, that is awesome. You've got to get me something like that."

"Let's save my friends first." she replies.

They head in to the warehouse and inside find 5 demons surrounding two chairs. Jake and Ryan were each tied to one of the chairs, both looking rather beat up, but nothing critical.

Alexis manages to fire two rounds of her gun with devil's traps engraved on the bullets before the demons could react. Two down, three to go. Sizing them up, one heads for Alexis and two for Sam. Unexpectedly, another appears behind Alexis and knocks the gun out of her hands after she had fired at the demon coming towards her. Three demons trapped, three to go.

She spins around to face the other demon only to find that he had a knife. He swipes at her and manages to nick her arm before she could take him down. "Oh, you're going to regret that, bitch." she says, pulling out her holy water gun and pressing the charm on her bracelet at the same time.

She and Sam were keeping the demons at bay with the holy water while the exorcism plays out. All six demons were down in under ten minutes. Alexis quickly runs over to Ryan and Jake. She begins untying Ryan as Sam does the same for Jake. As soon as Ryan is free, she throws her arms around him.

"You have no idea how glad I am to see you, Lex." Ryan tells her. When she pulls back from the hug, he notices her arm. "Lex, you're bleeding."

"It's just a scratch, I'm fine." she says, trying to shake it off. She could clean it up herself back at the motel. It was nothing they needed to fuss over.

"Lexi, your standing with three hunters. Let us see your arm." Jake says.

"I'm fine." she insists.

"Alexis." all three of them say at the same time.

"Fine." she relents, rolling her eyes and moving to take off her jacket. _Bitch ripped my jacket, perfect._ She then rolls up her shirt sleeve, revealing the cut from the knife.

Sam immediately grabs her arm to get a closer look. "Jesus, Lex. This is deep, it's probably going to need stitches."

Ryan pulls off his shirt and moves to tie it around the wound to stop the bleeding. "Hopefully this will stop the bleeding."

The four of them then head out to the Camaro. "Lex, let me drive." Sam says.

Seeing that there was no way they were going to let her drive, she reluctantly hands over her keys.

Once they're all in the car, Jake asks, "So, are you going to introduce us, Lex?"

"Oh right. Jake, Ryan, this is Sam. Sam, this is Jake and Ryan. There."

They arrive back at the motel and Sam makes Alexis sit on the bed so he can take care of her arm. Neither Jake nor Ryan were too badly beat up, so Alexis was the only one in need of stitches.

"We're going to head out." Jake says.

"Yeah, I think we'll hit the road too." Alexis replies. It was only about 11 in the morning, so they'd be able to make it back to Chicago around 1.

When they get to the car, Sam insists on driving again.

"Fine," she tells him, "but if you crash my car, you're dead."

They drive in silence for about twenty minutes with Sam throwing her weird glances, prompting Alexis to ask, "What?"

"Nothing." he responds, eyes on the road.

"Spit it out, Sam." she tells him, not in the mood for a guessing game.

"Lex, that could've been so much worse today. Had I let you go alone, or had you left before anyone was up, you could've been killed." he tells her, finally making eye contact.

"Sam, we're hunters. There's always a risk of getting killed. But we're all fine, and that's what matters." Alexis says. _Why was he so worried? I've been so much worse off on more than one occasion_ she thinks to herself. Hell, she's barely known him and Dean more than a month. They seemed to bond right away though, as if they'd known each other forever.

"So," she begins, changing the topic, "you think Dean will have left already?"

"No." Sam says.

"Why not?"

"You still owe him a pie." Sam reminds her.

Alexis just laughs, "Yeah, I guess I do."

* * *

As soon as they walk into the apartment they are greeted with two rather pissed off older siblings.

"Where the hell did you two take off to this morning?" Dean demands.

"And why the hell didn't you wake us?" Jo chimes in.

"My friends were in trouble ok? I was going to go alone, but Sam was already up and wouldn't let me leave without him." Alexis explains.

"You should have woken us up." Dean tells them both, his fear diminishing and fading into slight anger. "Are either of you hurt?" he then asks, scanning them both for any sign of injury.

"We're fine, Dean." Alexis says.

Sam though, begins, "Well-"

Alexis immediately cuts him off, "We're. Fine. Right Sam?" she says, giving him a hard stare. The last thing she needed was her sister and Dean making a huge deal of it. It was just a cut that needed a few stitches, it wasn't like she lost her arm.

"Yeah."

"I don't buy it. What were you going to say, Sam?" Dean asks, pointedly looking at his little brother.

"It's nothing, Dean." Alexis says.

"I asked Sam."

"Lex got a pretty deep cut on her arm." Sam says, avoiding Alexis' gaze.

"Did it need stitches?"

"Yeah."

Dean turns to Alexis and says, "Let me see it."

She rolls her eyes and pulls back her shirt sleeve.

"Damn. What was it?"

"Demon with a knife." Alexis tells him.

"Demons?" Jo asks while Dean asks, "How many?"

"Six." Sam answers.

"You two took down six demons? Alone?" Dean asks, eyes wide with shock.

"Yeah, they were down in like ten minutes and we saved my friends. It was easy." Alexis explains.

"Six demons in ten minutes?!" Dean asks disbelievingly.

They both just nod their heads.

"Explain." Jo says.

They recount what happened, leaving both Dean and Jo shocked but impressed.

"Well," Dean begins once they'd finished explaining, "I believe you owe me a pie, Lex."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll go start that." she says, moving towards the kitchen.

They spend the rest of the day not doing much of anything. They eat dinner and the pie Alexis made and then Sam, Dean, and Jo all decide they'd hit the road that night. Dean said that Bobby had called them with a possible case and that they were going to check it out. Jo figured she should probably get back to the Roadhouse. They were all gone by 8 and Alexis was alone once again.

* * *

She spends the rest of that week in Chicago. She hadn't dealt with all of Zac's stuff after he died, so she decided she probably should now. That Friday she pulled out the gift her mother had given her. She pulled out her laptop and plugged in the USB drive. There were old home videos and pictures on there. The first video she clicked opened with three smiling kids in the bed of their dad's truck. The youngest girl was 3, the other girl was 5, and the oldest, and the only boy, was 13. Upon seeing the boy's face, tears started to form in Alexis' eyes and a sad smile spreads across her face. "Matt." she says quietly to herself.

**-Flashback-**

"Matt! Wait for me!" a six year old Alexis shouts, running as fast as she could to catch up. Not looking to notice that he had abruptly stopped, she crashes into her big brother and begins laughing.

He scoops her up and begins spinning her around, causing more laughter to erupt from the little girl.

"Matty! Stop!" she says, still giggling. "I think Daddy is home! Let's go!"

As they reach the driveway, Alexis notices her father's truck is there. "Daddy!" she screams, running towards him.

Bill Harvelle turns just in time to catch his youngest daughter. "Hey Lexi!" he greets her.

"You're home! I missed you, Daddy!" she exclaims.

"Yeah, I'm home baby girl."

"You're not hurt this time, are you Daddy?" she asks, looking at him with the most serious expression she could muster.

"No, I'm not hurt, Lex."

"Good. I don't like it when you're hurt. It makes Mommy and Jo sad."

"Let's go inside and see your mom and Jo, ok?"

"Okay."

Bill shifts his youngest in his arms and heads for the door.

**-End Flashback-**

That was the last time Alexis remembers being genuinely and blissfully happy. She didn't know about the supernatural beings yet or what her dad did for a living. Her dad was still alive, Matt was still alive. A few weeks later her dad had left on a hunting trip with John Winchester and never returned. Matt took it the hardest. Six months after he died, Matt left to hunt. A year after that, he was dead. In a span of two years, Alexis had lost both of the men in her family, and she was barely 8. She grew up far too quickly. No one talks about Matt, ever. Most people don't know he ever existed.

Alexis smiles to herself as she plays the memory over in her head. She spends the rest of the night looking through the videos and pictures her mom had sent her.

Alexis had spent most of her time hunting after her birthday. She generally joined up with other hunters because it was just easier working with people. She met up with Jake and Ryan a few times and Rufus once.

It was about seven weeks after her birthday and she'd just gotten back to the apartment in Chicago after three consecutive hunts when she got a phone call from a frantic Dean.

"Lex, Sam's gone."

* * *

_A/N: So the next chapter is going to basically be the episode Hunted. Also, I realized that I mixed up dates and had in my mindset that season 2 was set in 07-08, not 06-07 when I was writing the first few chapters. I had to move Alexis' birthday to 1985, which according to supernaturalwiki, is the same year Jo was born. So in this story Jo's birthday will be April 7th, 1984, not 1985. Don__'t forget to review and let me know what you liked, what you think I could change, stuff like that. Thanks for reading!_


	6. Funky Town

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Funky Town**

"Lex, Sam's gone." she hears Dean say on the other end of the phone.

"What?" she asks, thinking, hoping, that she had misheard him.

"Sam's gone, I called your mom and she finally gave me a town. Lafayette, Indiana. Can you meet me there?" he asks, trying to mask the fear in his voice.

"I'm on my way. I just got back to Chicago so I'm not far. Give me two hours and I'll be there." Alexis replies, mentally figuring out how quickly she could get there.

"Thanks, Lex. I'm headed there now."

"Dean, what happened?" Alexis asks, already heading back down to her car. Sam just disappearing made no sense.

"I'll tell you more when I see you. I told him something that our dad told me before he died and he got pissed at me and took off. He's not in a good frame of mind and I'm kind of freaked, Lex. I could just… use you here."

"Ok. I'll be there soon. Let me know where to meet you."

"Did you know your sister left to hunt?" Dean asks her, changing the topic. Talking about something other than Sam would keep him from panicking. He couldn't panic, not more than he already was.

"Yeah, she uh, met up with me on a few hunts. I've talked to my mom too, she calls me more often now that we're both hunting and occasionally asks about Jo. We've come to a bit of a better understanding, but she still worries. She's lost enough family."

"Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing. It just sounds a lot different than the last time we saw the three of you together."

"Yeah, well sometimes different is good."

"Yeah, I guess. Well I'll see you soon, Lex."

"See you soon, Dean." Alexis responds.

As soon as she hears Dean hang up, she calls her mother, trying to get as much information about the situation as she could. She didn't want to walk in blind if she could help it. She also felt like she was missing a huge chunk of information.

"Alexis?" her mother answers.

"Hey, mom. Can you tell me exactly what you know about what's going on with Sam and Dean? Dean just called me and asked me to meet him in Lafayette, he sounded pretty freaked, said Sam took off."

"Dammit, Alexis. I didn't want you in the middle of this. This yellow-eyed demon is one bad son of a bitch. I'll tell you what I know, unless there's a chance I can convince you to stay out of it." Ellen tells her youngest. She really would prefer both of her daughters be far away from this mess, but she knew once either of them had their mind set to something, especially Alexis, there was no talking them out of it.

"Not going to happen, Mom."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Alright, I'll tell you exactly what I told Dean and what Sam was after." Ellen then relays the information about Sam's psychic powers, the fact that there were other special children like Sam out there, how they were tracking the demon with the help of Ash, and what Sam was after.

"Damn. Okay, thanks mom. I'm on my way to Lafayette now, I should be there in less than 90 minutes." Alexis tells her mother. It was a hell of a lot of information to take in and she wasn't too happy that she was seemingly the last person to know about it.

"Be careful, Lex."

"I will, mom. Bye." Alexis says, hanging up. She liked being on better terms with her mother and being able to carry a conversation without yelling.

They weren't on the best terms, but Ellen had come to some sort of acceptance with Alexis hunting. Ellen realized now that both of her daughters were hunting, and she couldn't stop them, she should at least not push them away. Alexis and Ellen's relationship was going to take some time to fix, but they were working on it.

* * *

Dean had called Alexis while she was on the road and had given her the name Blue Rose Motel and told her to meet him there.

When she pulls into the parking lot of the motel, though, she hears gunshots. Alexis quickly scans the area and spots a man on the roof and Dean running towards him. By the time she gets to the roof, Dean is out cold and she recognizes the man with the gun as Gordon Walker.

"Gordon?" she asks, hand on the gun at the small of her back. He was definitely not someone she'd expected to see. What was he doing mixed up with the Winchesters?

"Lexi Harvelle. I wish you weren't caught up in this. Because now I have to knock you out too." he replies, charging for her.

Alexis was cornered. She darts from him but is soon at the edge of the building. She couldn't escape, and Gordon knocks her out as well.

She wakes up tied to a chair next to Dean, who is also tied up, in some abandoned building. She was extremely confused. She didn't understand how Gordon knew the boys or what he wanted with them.

Soon Sam calls Dean and Gordon makes Dean answer and tell him to meet them there.

"Sam, I've been looking for you." Dean says.

Alexis couldn't hear Sam from where she was.

"I know." Dean tells Sam.

"Yeah, I talked to Ellen. Just got here myself, it's a real funky town. I called Lexi and had her meet me here too. You ditched me, Sammy."

Sam says something, probably about the gunshots from earlier because next Dean says, "What? Who?" while glancing at Gordon.

Sam must have then asked where they were as Dean says, "I'm staying at 5637 Monroe Street, why don't you meet me here?"

Gordon then hangs up the phone and says, "Now was that so hard?"

Gordon starts telling them about an exorcism he was doing on a demon. The demon had mentioned a coming war and that they have soldiers, humans, to fight on hell's side in the coming war. The demon had said Gordon knew one, Sam. So that's why he's after Sam. Shit.

Gordon then turns to Alexis and says, "Now, Alexis Harvelle. You were a surprise. Dean I expected, but not you. What would your father say if he could see you now? Working with the sons of the man who got him killed?"

"Gordon Walker." she responds icily, "Well, first I think he'd tell you to untie me and then proceed to kick the crap out of you. Second, John Winchester did not get my father killed. He was there, but you know all about that don't you, Gordon? Being there when someone gets killed but not actually getting him killed?" she says, matching his condescending tone and narrowing her eyes at the hunter.

"You know that was an accident, Alexis."

"Hold up," Dean interrupts. "How the hell do you two know each other and what are you two talking about?"

"Go on, Gordon. Tell him. Tell him how you were the last person to see my brother alive." Alexis says, her gaze stone cold.

"Brother?!" Dean asks, entirely confused. He glances between Alexis and Gordon, looking for an explanation, but he's ignored..

Ignoring Dean, Gordon says, "It was an accident Alexis. We screwed up and Matt paid the price. I couldn't save him."

"Exactly, I never harbored all that much blame towards you for that. So why are you, of all people, blaming John for getting my father killed?"

Gordon just stares at her and Dean looks utterly shocked.

"And Gordon, if you're going to kill Sam because of some unnatural power he has, I think you're going to have to kill me too."

Gordon and Dean turn to her and Dean says, "Alexis, what the hell are you talking about?"

Gordon simply asks, "How's that?"

"Not important, because you're not going to kill me or Sam. You're going to let Dean and I go." Alexis says.

"I'm sorry, but you're the one tied up. How exactly can you make me let you go?"

"Well, it's either that, or I kill you." Alexis says, standing up and whipping out her gun. Unbeknownst to both Dean and Gordon, Alexis had been using her telekinesis to untie herself. She hadn't wanted to, she hadn't really intended either Winchester find out about her power, but it needed to be done.

"How the hell did you do that?" Gordon asks.

Dean's mouth had drops open, knowing she didn't get herself out naturally. He'd tried but they were both bound too tight, too thoroughly.

"Like this." she says, telekinetically pulling Gordon's gun out of his reach. "Now, I've got the gun. So either you let us go, or you die and we go free anyway. What's it going to be Gordo?" Alexis asks, gun fixed on him.

"You wouldn't shoot me." Gordon says, calling her bluff, or so he thought.

Bad move, Gordon. You don't challenge a Harvelle. Especially when they've got a gun on you, she thinks, shooting him in the arm.

The hunter falls to the ground, bringing his right hand to cover the wound on his left arm.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" she says as she unties Dean.

"We'll be going now. Nice seeing you again, Gordo." Alexis adds, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Dean looks hesitant about following her but does in the end.

They run into Sam just outside the building and get across the street in time to see cop cars pull up and arrest Gordon, who had just been exiting the building, gun in hand and firing. Dean hadn't said a word to Alexis yet.

They get in the Impala and before they drive back to the motel to get Alexis' car, Dean stops to call Ellen. Alexis was sitting in the car with Sam. Knowing shit was about to hit the fan, she tells Sam, "I'm sorry."

He looks at her like she's crazy, not having any clue what she was talking about. "For what?"

"You'll see."

Sam just stares at her, entirely lost.

She gets out of the car, already planning on walking back to the motel. She knew Dean was going to be pissed and it was better she just leave now instead of staying, making things worse, making things more painful.

Dean gets off the phone and turns to Alexis and says, "Explain. Now." in a borderline threatening voice.

She just stares at the ground.

"Alexis." Dean says, his voice hard and expression guarded.

"I have telekinesis, alright? That's how we got out of there. You know what, I'll just walk back to the motel." she says, walking away.

Sam opens the door to stop her, but Dean stops him, saying "Let her go, Sam."

Alexis continues walking, fighting to keep the tears building up at bay. She was not going to cry. This was inevitable, she shouldn't have even bothered getting attached to them. It only hurts in the end.

* * *

Once she got back to her car Alexis decides to just head back to Chicago, ignoring any calls that she received. Halfway through the drive, she ends up just turning her phone off. She needed to be alone. No hunting, just alone for a few days. She needed to figure out what she was going to do now.

After a few days of silence from Alexis, Sam had grown worried enough that he hops a bus to Chicago, figuring that's more than likely where she was. Something had gone down in that building with Gordon, something bad, and he wanted to know what it is. Dean wasn't talking and he wasn't getting an answer from Alexis, so he decided to try face to face. Sam knocks on the door, hoping she would answer and let him in.

"What do you want, Sam?" Alexis asks, opening the door just enough to stick her head out.

"To talk. You weren't answering my calls. Can I come in?" Sam asks.

"What's there to talk about, Sam?" she asks, not really wanting to let him in. It would only hurt more when he had to leave.

"Please?" he asks, giving her his best puppy dog face.

"Fine." she relents, opening the door further and letting him in.

They walk into the living room and Sam sits on the couch while Alexis sits in the chair to the side of the couch.

"You want to talk? Talk." she says, her tone cold. If she remained detached, then she'd be okay. It was getting attached that always hurt her in the end. She'd learned that lesson more than once.

Sam almost doesn't recognize the girl sitting before him. She was in yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt, her hair was pulled back, and she had next to no make-up on. There were circles under her eyes, making it pretty obvious that she hadn't been sleeping. She looked a little pale, like she could be getting sick or maybe just hadn't been eating well. Her hazel eyes were cold, emotionless and her face was a mask. She was completely guarded, like she had cut herself off from everyone and raised her mental walls even higher. Her appearance and demeanor only doubled his concern. "Dean wouldn't say much. Just that you lied and couldn't be trusted. I kept asking and he wouldn't say anything. You walked away and he let you. So after you not answering my calls for days, I left and came here. What happened, Alexis?" Sam asks her, eyes pleading with her. He'd tried time and time again with Dean and gotten nothing.

"It doesn't matter Sam. Dean's right, I lied, I probably can't be trusted. You should just leave. You wasted a trip." Alexis says coldly.

"Lex…" Sam says, almost begging her to let him in.

"What, Sam? What the hell do you want me to say?" she snaps.

"I want you to tell me what happened in that building and what the hell happened between you and Dean.". He wanted so badly for her to let him in, tell him what's going on. He had felt like they'd been getting really close, and now she was looking at him like a stranger, no, worse than a stranger. An enemy almost.

"What happened, happened. You don't need to know."

"Like hell I don't!" Sam nearly yells. "Why can't you just tell me? I thought we were friends." he adds sadly.

"Guess not, Sam. You should leave." Alexis says, voice still cold and detached.

"Alexis…"

"No, Sam." she replies, cutting him off as she stands up.

She walks towards the door and Sam dejectedly follows her. Unfortunately though, when she opens the door she comes face to face with Dean.

"Thought I'd find you here, Sam." Dean says, eyes avoiding Alexis. "Let's go."

"No." Sam says.

"What?" Dean asks, turning back to look at his brother.

"You two are going to talk and then you're going tell me what the hell is going on."

Alexis and Dean just stare at him.

"I'm going to go pick up some food and you two are going to talk. When I come back, you are both going to tell me what the fuck is going on. Got it?" Sam says, his tone firm, leaving no room for argument. He'd had it. He wanted answers and now that they were in the same place, he was going to get them.

Dean reluctantly steps in the door and Sam leaves.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I don't think we have anything to talk about." Alexis tells him, voice entirely detached and gaze emotionless.

It was then that Dean takes in her appearance. She looked, for lack of a better word, horrible. He could tell she hadn't been sleeping and her whole demeanor was guarded. He barely even recognized her. Even her voice was different, cold and unfamiliar. "Like hell there's nothing to talk about Alexis!" Dean responds.

She spins on her heel to face the older Winchester. "Enlighten me then, Dean."

"You have telekinesis! And apparently a brother! You couldn't have said something?" Dean yells, swinging his hands out in exasperation.

"What'd you want me to say, Dean? 'Oh, hey I have telekinesis'? Because that would've gone over so well." she snaps back sarcastically.

"I don't know! But you should have told us!" he says, voice booming.

"Oh, like you told me about Sam?" Alexis says, glaring at him.

Dean doesn't say anything.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"You're right." he admits.

"What?" she asks. She had to have misheard him.

"I said you're right. We should have told you."

"Yeah, you should have. I had to hear it from my mother Dean! She knew, Ash knew, even Jo knew!" she says, voice still raised and detached. "One person knows about my powers Dean, one. I try not to use them, but we needed to get out of there."

"Who? Who knows?" Dean asks.

"Missouri. Missouri Moseley."

"What'd she say?"

"Look, I only want to explain this once, so can we wait for Sam?" Alexis asks him. "Oh, and about my brother. Not a word. Not to me, not to Jo, not to my mom. We don't talk about him." she adds, sitting down.

Dean was about to object, but he notices the pure anger in her eyes and just nods, deciding it was best to leave it be.

Sam returns a few minutes later and sits down on the seat to the side of the couch, where Alexis and Dean were seated. "Ok. Explain now." Sam says.

They tell him everything that had happened, leaving out the part about Matt.

"Wow." Sam says. Then he asks, "You actually shot Gordon?"

"Yep. You don't challenge a Harvelle, especially when they're pissed off and aiming a gun at you." Alexis says.

"It was actually kinda badass." Dean chimes in, "I mean, Gordon was all like 'You wouldn't shoot me.' and then she did, in the arm, and said 'I'm sorry, what did you say?' Had I not been so freaked, I probably would've laughed."

"Wow." Sam says again, laughing slightly.

"Alright, let's eat, and you can tell us what Missouri told you." the younger Winchester adds.

"You guys eat, I'm not really hungry." Alexis replies.

Sam gives her a look but let's it go.

"Alright, well Missouri basically told me that whatever it is that my powers came from, it's not evil. Not demonic. She also said I'm one of the few people whose minds she can't get inside of." Alexis starts off.

"Lucky." Dean says, mouth full of food.

"Missouri also said I'd probably develop more powers. She wasn't sure what, but I'd know when I got them. She couldn't really tell me much."

"So what? If your powers aren't demonic, they're what, angelic?" Dean asks.

"That would require there being angels, Dean." Alexis says.

"You're right. Well, this is perfect. Sam's got weird demonic visions and you've got telekinesis and who knows what else from who knows what." Dean says, finishing up his food.

"Guess so. Fucked up doesn't even begin to cover it. Well, I'm going to head to bed. You guys can crash here tonight if you want." Alexis says. She then stands up and walks away, heading to her room.

* * *

It was a little after midnight and Alexis was still up, so she decides to go sit out on the terrace for awhile. She'd been doing that a lot the past few days instead of sleeping. She liked being out there at night, it was nice and gave her space to think.

Sam walks out about twenty minutes later and walks up to where she was standing at the railing. "Can't sleep?"

"Nope, you?"

"I woke up and was going to get some water when I saw you out here. Have you slept at all since you went to bed over three hours ago?" Sam asks, wondering when the last time she'd actually slept was. She was looking out at the city and it was dark, so it was hard to see her face and determine if her walls were still up or if her eyes had softened.

"No." she answers, not turning her head. "I'm sorry for being so bitchy earlier, you didn't deserve that." she adds, feeling a bit guilty for how she'd treated Sam.

"It's ok, you had a right to. A lot was going on and Dean wasn't helping." he tells her.

She doesn't say anything else.

"Lex, are you okay? You didn't eat dinner and you don't look like you've slept much at all." Sam finally asks. He wasn't sure where they actually stood at the moment, but he was worried about her.

"I'm fine, Sam." she says, still watching the sky.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that then."

She turns her head to meet his gaze but doesn't say anything. She couldn't do what he'd asked.

He could practically see the walls in her head crumbling as she gives him a rather broken look.

"No, I'm not fine. Happy?"

He moves to pull her into a hug and she doesn't resist, she leans into him. A sob escapes from her before she can stop it. She hasn't been held like this in so long and there was so much going on that she couldn't help it.

"Hey, hey, it's going to be ok." Sam says, rubbing her back and resting his chin on her head.

After a few minutes he says, "Let's get you to bed, you need to sleep." He then leads her back into her room and over to her bed.

"Sam?" she begins, already hating herself for what she was about to ask, "Can you stay with me tonight?"

"Yeah, Lex. I can stay with you." he responds, laying down on the other side of the bed. Alexis lays her head on his chest and is asleep within minutes.

That's how Dean finds them that morning. Alexis with her head on Sam's chest, fast asleep and Sam with his arm around her, also sound asleep. He smirks to himself and lets the two sleep. Something was bound to happen between them, it was just a matter of time.

Alexis and Sam wake up an hour after Dean, around 8:30. The three headed out for breakfast and then the Winchesters hit the road. Before they left, they both told her to call if she needed anything or found anything else out about her powers. She told them she would and that they should call her if they heard anything about the demon.


	7. This Isn't Control

_A/N: So this chapter covers both 2x14 and 2x15, but mostly 2x14. I changed it up a bit because I worked in Alexis being at the bar that Jo is working at when Sam shows up. There's a small part of the Trickster episode at the end. Hope you like it!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Possessed and on the Run.**

Two and a half months later, Dean calls Alexis again with the same alarming sentence. "Lex, Sam's gone."

"Again?" she asks, worried nonetheless.

"Yeah, but this time is different. He wasn't pissed, he just disappeared. Have you heard from him?" Dean asks, hoping she'd say she had.

"No, I'm sorry Dean, I haven't. Do you need me?" Alexis asks, ready to meet Dean if he needed.

"No, no. I'll let you know if I find him. I've got your mom and Bobby looking for him too. Let me know if you hear from him though." Dean tells her.

"Ok. I will. Hope you find him soon, Dean." she says.

"Yeah, so do I, Lex."

Dean texted her a few days later saying he'd found Sam. So Alexis was incredibly shocked when Sam showed up at the bar Jo was working at. She'd been visiting her sister up in Minnesota and had gone out to grab some food. When she returns, her sister was tied up to a post and unconscious. "Sam?" she asks, voice riddled with shock, confusion, and concern.

"Alexis." he says in a voice that sounded nothing like his own.

"You're not Sam." Alexis says, hand reaching for her weapon.

But Sam, or whatever that was, was faster. He grabs her and knocks her out too.

Alexis wakes up, hands handcuffed behind a post, near her sister. _Shit, handcuffs mean I can't use my telekinesis to escape. And I'm pretty sure Sam's possessed, so I can't physically harm him. _ "Jo?" she asks, "You okay?"

"I think so, you?"

"Yeah. Whatever that is, that's not Sam. Trust me. He's either possessed or a shifter or something. It's not Sam." Alexis tells her older sister.

"You're sure?" Jo asks.

"You even have to ask me that?" she says, mildly shocked her sister would believe that was purely Sam.

Just then, Sam, well not-Sam Sam, appears. "Ah, both of you are awake."

He walks closer to them and says, "So what exactly did your mom tell you about how your dad died?"

"You're not Sam." They both say.

"Don't be so sure of that. Answer the question." not-Sam says. He moves closer to Jo and pulls out a knife, "Answer the question."

"Fine." Jo says.

"Fine." not-Sam responds.

"Our dads were in California. Devil's Gate Reservoir. They were setting a trap for some kind of hell spawn. John was hiding and waiting, and my dad was bait." Jo recalls.

Not-Sam laughs, "That's just like John. Oh I bet he dangled Bill like meat on a hook. Then what?" not-Sam says, walking behind Jo.

"The thing showed up," Jo continues, "John got too eager, jumped out too soon, got my Dad exposed out in the open. The thing turned around and killed him." Jo finishes, tears beginning to well up.

"Hm, not quite." not-Sam says.

"What?" both Jo and Alexis ask.

"What?" not-Sam says, "Oh, see it hurt him, it didn't kill him. You really don't know the truth, do you? Neither of you?" not-Sam continues. He laughs again and says, "I bet your mom doesn't either."

"Know what?" the sisters question simultaneously.

"You see Bill," not-Sam begins, leaning closer towards Jo's head, "was all clawed up, was holding his insides in his hands, he was gurgling and praying to see his kids and Ellen one more time. So my dad killed him. Put him out of his misery like a sick dog."

"You're lying." Jo says, and Alexis just stares at not-Sam, not saying a word. She couldn't if she tried.

"I'm not. It's true. My daddy shot your daddy in the head." not-Sam sing-songs.

"How could you know that?" Jo asks.

"I hear things." not-Sam responds, then sticks the knife in the post above Jo's head.

"Why are you doing this to us?" Jo asks.

"Like daddy, like daughter." he begins, "You're bait. Open up." he gags Jo and moves over to Alexis. Not-Sam whispers in her ear, "Now, you're not going to use your little super power, or your sister dies." He then gags her too.

Just then, Dean bursts through the door, gun in hand. "Sam!" Dean shouts.

Not-Sam pulls the knife out of the post, saying, "I begged you to stop me, Dean."

"Put the knife down dammit." Dean says, seeing as not-Sam had it at Jo's throat.

"I told you I can't fight it." not-Sam says. "My head feels like its on fire, alright? Dean, kill me, or I'm gonna kill her, and then Alexis. Please, you'd be doing me a favor. Shoot me." he continues, then swings his arms out, removing the knife from Jo's throat, and says louder, "Shoot me!"

Gun still aimed at Sam, Dean says, "No Sammy, come on." and then lowers his gun and turns his back to not-Sam.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Dean?" not-Sam demands. He moves closer to Dean and says, "Are you that scared of being alone that you'd rather let Jo and Alexis die?"

Dean whips around and throws holy water on not-Sam, well actually possessed Sam. "That's holy water, you demonic son of a bitch."

Possessed-Sam jumps out the window and Dean moves to cut Jo loose and then Alexis. The key was on the table so he quickly let her go and hops out the window possessed-Sam had just exited. "Dean!" Jo shouts, but he just continues after possessed-Sam.

* * *

Alexis and her sister were walking along the dock, flashlights in hand, trying to call Dean.

"He's not answering?" Alexis asks.

"No." Jo responds.

A few minutes later, Jo tries again. "Wait, I hear his phone." Alexis says.

They turn and see a body, Dean, and run towards him. "Dean! Dean!" Jo shouts, turning him over.

"Dean, take it easy." Alexis says, she and her sister maneuvering Dean to a sitting position.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asks.

"I don't know, we've been looking for you." Jo tells him.

"Come on, get up." she says as she and Alexis help pull Dean up.

They get him back to the bar and while Jo patches the bullet wound in Dean's shoulder up, Alexis circles the place to see if Sam, well possessed-Sam, was still out there. As she's heading back, she sees Dean heading to his car.

"Dean! I'm coming with you!" Alexis shouts, catching up to him.

He turns to her and says, "No you're not. I told your sister the same thing. Stay here." Dean sternly tells her.

"Hell no, Dean. You just got shot and Sam's possesed and my guess is he's heading towards Bobby's, so I am coming with you, like it or not. You can't stop me from doing so."

"Oh, I can't? I can tie you up to that post back in there."

"And I can get out damn easily and you know it, Dean. You may be able to threaten Jo with that, but not me. I'm coming. You don't get to say no." Alexis tells him.

"Alexis-" Dean begins.

She cuts him off, "No Dean. I am coming. Now do you want to stand here arguing with me, an argument you won't win I might add, or do you want to get to Bobby's?"

Dean glares at her and finally relents, saying, "Fine."

"I'm driving." Alexis says.

"Hell no!" Dean exclaims.

"You just got shot in the shoulder. I'm driving. Hand me the keys, Dean."

He looks at her and sees there's no way she's letting him drive, so he hands her the key and says, "You're scary, you know that right?"

"Oh, I know." she tells him, hopping into the driver's side of the Impala.

"Now, if you crash my baby, you're dead, got it?" Dean says.

"I won't, just relax Dean. Well, as much as you possibly can." Alexis says, taking off towards Bobby's. She called her sister to tell her she was leaving as Dean tried calling Bobby to give him a heads up about Sam.

When she and Dean got to Bobby's he already had Sam tied to a chair under the key of Solomon that was on the ceiling.

"Dean, back from the dead. Getting to be a regular thing for you, isn't it?" the demon says, adding, "Like a cockroach."

"How bout' I smack that smartass right out of your mouth." Dean retorts.

"Careful now, wouldn't want to bruise this fine packaging."

"Oh, don't worry. This isn't going to hurt Sam much." Dean says, pouring a bucket of holy water on him. "Feel like talking now?" They talk a little more and Bobby begins an exorcism. The demon starts cackling after Dean mentions the master plan.

He says, "You really think that's what this is about? The master plan? I don't give a rat's ass about the master plan."

Bobby continues the exorcism but the demon laughs, saying it won't work and that it'd picked up some new tricks. The demon then begins muttering some Latin chant. Quickly, Bobby realizes the demon was doing a binding link and had now locked itself inside of Sam. The key cracked on the ceiling and the demon was now free.

"There. That's better." the demon says, launching Bobby into a wall. He then does the same to Dean and turns to Alexis and tries to do the same, but he can't.

She smirks, hiding her surprise, and says, "Hm. Doesn't seem to work on me."

"Guess I'll just have to get my hands dirty then." the demon says, moving towards her.

She lures him towards her as she moves towards the fireplace, the iron fire poker behind her back while she simultaneously uses her telekinesis to open the bottle of holy water on the table.

"Moving towards the fire? How stupid are you?" the demon says.

He gets close enough that she can reach out and grab the arm with the mark on it and burn it with the poker, so she uses her telekinesis to pour the holy water on him as she does so. The mark is burned, thus ruining the lock, and the demon screams in agony and expels itself from Sam.

It was now just Sam, and he looked entirely confused. He asks, "Did I miss anything?" as he takes in Dean and Bobby on the ground and Alexis near the fireplace. Dean reaches over and connects his fist to Sam's face.

The three grab seats as Bobby asks, mostly to Alexis, "You mind telling me how the hell you did that?"

"Telekinesis." Both she and Dean say at the same time.

"Come again?" Bobby says.

Alexis explains the whole thing to Bobby and he just nods. _Great, now Bobby knows too._ Bobby walks into the kitchen, and when he returns, he has an odd look on his face.

"What is it Bobby?" Sam asks the older hunter.

"You three ever hear of a hunter named Steve Wandell?"

"Why do you ask?" Dean says.

"Just heard from a friend, Wandell's dead." Bobby says.

"Steve's dead?" Alexis asks.

"You knew him?" the older hunter questions.

"Yeah, met him once or twice. Good hunter."

"Well, he was murdered in his own house. You wouldn't know anything about that?" Bobby says, the last part only to the Winchesters.

"No sir. Never heard of the guy." Dean says and Sam starts, "Dean." when Bobby says "Good. Keep it that way. Wandell's buddies are looking for someone or something to string up. They're not going to slow down to listen to reason. You understand what I'm saying?"

Alexis is totally lost but Dean just nods and says, "We better hit the road."

Bobby hands them anti-possession charms and tells him the demon is still out there and they'll stop it from getting back in them.

Alexis decides to chime in, "You should just get them tattooed on you. Like I did."

"That's probably a good idea, Lex." Bobby says and the boys nod.

They turn for the door and Dean says, "You coming, Lex? You don't have your car."

"Actually, I think I'll stay here with Bobby, if he doesn't mind." Alexis says, looking at Bobby.

"You know you're always welcome here Lexi, besides, you never finished that old car you were working on." Bobby tells her.

"Oh yeah! I can work on that." Alexis says, then turns to the boys and says, "I'll see you guys later. Knowing you two, you'll get into some trouble soon enough and be calling me for help."

Sam laughs and says, "Yeah, probably."

"Be careful." Alexis tells them.

"You too, Lex." they both say and then head out the door.

* * *

Alexis had been at Bobby's for two weeks. She liked staying there and the old hunter liked having her around. She'd cook for them and helped around the house with research along with working on the car she had there. Bobby had gotten a call from Sam and Dean who were struggling with a case in Springfield, Ohio. Bobby was going to meet them and Alexis had said she'd go with. Once they get there, they listened to everything that's happened and observed how much Sam and Dean were bickering, so Bobby easily deducted that it's a Trickster, saying the boys were the biggest clue. After Bobby tells them about what tricksters are, the Winchesters figure out it's more than likely the janitor. The next morning, Sam and Dean go to see the janitor and Alexis tags along.

As soon as Alexis lays eyes on him, she does a double take. She sees a man in a janitor uniform, but also sees giant wings spanning from his back. She's positive the boys don't see them, because he'd have been long dead. _I must be losing my mind, I mean, wings? What, he's an angel? Yeah right _she thinks to herself and tries to concentrate on the conversation.

"Sorry I'm dragging a little ass today, boys. I had quite the night last night. So, who's the pretty lady?" he asks.

"Not interested." Dean and Sam say, both stepping slightly in front of her.

"Can't she decide that for herself?"

"Yeah, guys. Head up to 3, I'll meet you up there." Alexis tells them and they turn to stare at her incredulously while the janitor smirks.

"Seriously?" Dean questions.

"Yeah, go on. I'll be up in a minute." Alexis says firmly.

"Fine." Dean says, heading up the stairs. Sam says he forgot something and heads back out.

Once both boys are out of earshot, Alexis turns to the janitor and demands, "What are you? You're not a Trickster. You have wings." The janitor gapes and then grabs her arm. Suddenly, they aren't standing in the stairwell anymore.

"Ok, what the fuck was that? Where the hell are we? And what the hell are you?" she practically screams.

"How do you know I have wings? You can see them?" he asks her, ignoring her questions.

"They're kind of hard to miss!" she says, voice still raised and on high alert. "Now, answer my questions!"

"Alright, alright, calm down. Have a seat. Do you want anything to drink?" he tells her, unsure of how to deal with this.

"I don't want to sit down, and I sure as hell don't want a drink! Tell me what you are and why the hell you have wings!" Alexis yells, pacing.

"I'm an angel. They call me Gabriel. Okay?" the janitor, no, Gabriel, says.

"Angels aren't real." she says.

"Oh but they are Alexis. Most of them are a bunch of dicks too, that's why I left."

"Okay... wait, how do you know my name?" Alexis demands.

"Hello? Angel? You're Alexis Harvelle. Youngest daughter of Bill and Ellen Harvelle." Gabe says.

"Creepy. Ok, so if you're an angel, why are you posing as a Trickster?" she asks.

"It's fun. And it keeps me hidden from my siblings."

"Ok. Look, you probably can't be killed like a Trickster, am I right?" she asks and he nods.

"So, just let Sam and Dean kill you," she begins, with air quotes around the word kill, "and they'll think you're dead and leave. Then you can go be a Trickster somewhere else, just stop killing people."

"Fine. You don't breathe a word about me being an angel or that we even exist, got it? You're special, you can see our wings. Most people can't." Gabe tells her.

"Got it. Only if you promise to do one thing for me if I need you." Alexis says.

Gabe looks at her and reluctantly says, "Fine. Pray to me, the angel Gabriel, when you decide what that is, and I'll show up. I'll take you back now, the Winchesters will only think a minute or so has passed." Gabriel reaches out to touch her and they're suddenly back in the stairwell.

Both Dean and Sam immediately pounce on her for making them leave her with the Trickster alone and demanding she tell them what happened. She just says nothing and walks out of the building. That night they go to 'kill the Trickster' and eventually succeed. Gabriel convincingly dies and the four hightail it out of the city.

* * *

A/N: _Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The fact that Alexis can see angel wings will tie in with her powers, and that favor that Gabe owes her will not be forgotten. Let me know what you think!_


	8. All Hell Breaks Loose

_A/N: Ok, this chapter time jumps to the finale. I think this is my favorite chapter that I've written. I changed it up a bit when it came to the roadhouse fire. I'm not sure how plausible__what I wrote is, but I needed to make it work. The hospital is made up, because __the roadhouse was never pinpointed to a city in Nebraska, I couldn__'__t figure out a real hospital that would've been near it. __Hope you like it!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, the characters in it, or the direct quotes from it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: All Hell Breaks Loose**

Alexis hadn't seen either Winchester since the encounter with the Trickster, er, Gabriel, but she'd been talking to them, mainly Sam, a lot more. The last she'd heard from them, the two idiots were purposely getting themselves arrested for a case. She'd laughed at them and told them to be careful. That was the very end of March. When she'd talked to them on Jo's birthday, it was just them telling her they'd gotten out and were headed to a hunt in Joliet, Illinois. They'd asked her to meet them if she was in Chicago, but she was in New York with Jo. Before she knew it, it was April 29th, 2007. A date she would never forget. Dean had called her to say Sam was missing, again. She was on her way to the roadhouse when she got a call from a very frazzled Ash, telling her he found something big that he could only say in person. She was about ten minutes away so she hightailed it there and made it in five.

Alexis pulled up to the Roadhouse, for what would be the last time, though she didn't know that at the time. She could smell smoke and saw that the Roadhouse was on fire. She'd immediately dialed 911 and said that Harvelle's Roadhouse was on fire and they needed help fast. Despite being told to stay on the line, she hung up and ran for the building. Her mother and Ash were in there and she had to try and get them out. She swung the door open and smoke came billowing out. "Ash! Mom!" she called out. It was the last thing she said before it all went black.

* * *

Dean and Bobby pull into the Roadhouse only to find that it had been burnt to the ground.

"What the hell?" Dean says, looking at Bobby.

The two picked through the rummage, muttering obscenities every so often.

"You see Ellen?" Dean asks.

"No, no Ash either." Bobby says.

Dean spots Ash's watch and it tells him all he needed to know. "Oh Ash, dammit!" Dean says. He looks up at Bobby who was staring off at something, a solemn look on his face. He follows Bobby's gaze and his eyes land on a 1974 black Camaro. Not just any Camaro, Alexis' Camaro. "No." Dean begins, voice starting to break, "No, no, no. She can't be- she can't be dead." _This can't be happening, she can't be gone _Dean thinks to himself.

They walk over to the car and see all of her stuff. Her weapons, even her phone. Alexis was gone. "Dammit, kid." Bobby says, tears welling up.

Sam was missing, Ash and Alexis were both gone, and for all they knew, Ellen was too. "Fuck." Dean says.

The two hunters managed to pinpoint a location of Sam from some freaky visions Dean had gotten and headed there. By the time they got there, it was too late. Dean watched in horror as his little brother was literally stabbed in the back. He got to Sam and held him in his arms. He was helpless as the life left his little brother's body. Sam was dead. Ash was dead. Alexis was dead, Ellen too probably. Everyone was dead. _No! This can't be real, this can't be happening_ he thinks to himself as he holds his brother's lifeless body in his arms.

The next few days Dean spent in a drunken stupor until he couldn't take it anymore. He was going to get his little brother back, even if it cost him his soul. Dean went to a crossroads, made a deal, got a year to live, and got his little brother back.

When he returns to the house they were squatting in, he embraces Sam and tells him that Bobby had managed to patch him up. He couldn't tell him the truth, he just couldn't.

Sam brings up the roadhouse after filling Dean in on what happened while he had been missing, asking if they knew anything, but when Sam notices the look on his older brother's face, he asks, "Dean, what is it?"

Dean takes a seat across from his brother and says, "The roadhouse burned to the ground. Ash and Alexis, they're dead Sammy. Probably Ellen, lot of other hunters too."

_No, no, no, no. She can't be dead, this can't be happening again. Alexis can't be dead. She just can't be _Sam thinks to himself. He doesn't know what to say, so he asks, "Demons?"

"Yeah, we think so. We think because Ash found something." his older brother tells him.

Fighting tears, he asks, "What'd he find?"

"Bobby's working on that right now."

"Well, come on then, Bobby's only a few hours away." Sam says, getting up.

Dean comes towards him saying, "Woah, woah, stop Sam, stop. Dammit, you almost died in there." The pain of seeing Sam dead mere hours ago still fresh in his mind, he pleads, "I mean, what would I've- can't you just take care of yourself for a little bit?"

"Ash and Alexis are dead because of this. I'm sorry, no." he says as he walks towards the door, doing his best to push the thoughts of Alexis out of his mind. He can't bear to think of her being gone right now, that pain was much worse than anything else. _She's gone and I didn't even get to tell her how I felt. She died in a fire, like every other damn woman I ever cared about in my life. Mom, Jess, now Lex. _Feeling tears threatening to spill out, he turns his thoughts to hunting and revenge and puts on an emotionless mask.

They pull up to Bobby's and when Bobby opens the door, it was as if he was looking at a ghost when he sees Sam.

"Hey Bobby." the brothers say.

"Sam… it's good to see ya up and around." the older hunter says.

"Yeah, well, thanks for patching me up." Sam says as he walks into the house.

Bobby tells them he found something, but he hasn't a damn clue what it means, just that there's been a shit-ton of demonic omens. He shows them a map and tells them they're all around surrounding areas of Wyoming, except for one place, southern Wyoming. Bobby tells them there's one area that's spotless, like the demons are surrounding it but he doesn't know why and asks Sam to take a look at it. He then asks Dean for some help outside.

A few minutes later, the two return with Ellen. To be safe, they make her take a shot of holy water.

Dean asks, "Ellen, what happened? How'd you get out?"

"I wasn't supposed to. I was supposed to be in there like everybody else." Ellen starts off, "But we ran out of pretzels, of all things. It was just dumb luck." She downs her shot of whiskey and says, "Anyway, that's when Ash called, panic in his voice. He told me to look in the safe, then the call cut out. By the time I got back, the flames were sky high and Alexis' car was there, but she wasn't in it. She was nowhere in sight. I don't know how, but firefighters and ambulances had already arrived. Except... except everybody was dead. Alexis wasn't there when I left, but I knew she was on her way. I'm thinking she got there shortly after the fire started, called 911, and ran in, probably hoping to get me and Ash out, but she couldn't. I wasn't gone more than a half an hour. I turned around and left, I couldn't watch the place burn to the ground" she finishes, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Sorry, Ellen." Sam tells her.

"A lot of good people died in there, my daughter died in there, and I got to live. Lucky me." Ellen says solemnly.

Bobby brings up the safe Ellen mentioned. Ellen pulls out what was in it, saying she went back after the flames were out. It was a map of Wyoming. They discover a hundred square mile devil's trap built by Samuel Colt. The omens that Bobby found prove that that is what the demon's are circling.

"Why? What's inside?" Ellen asks.

"That's what I've been looking for and uh, there's nothing except for an old cowboy cemetery right in the middle." Dean says.

They quickly put together that Colt was probably keeping something in, and that's what Yellow Eyes needed Jake for. Bobby, Ellen, Dean, and Sam head to the cemetery, determined to stop Jake. They manage to kill him, but not before he opens the gate to Hell. Hundreds of demons escape and Yellow Eyes shows up. As does the ghost of John Winchester, who helps kill Yellow Eyes, once and for all. The damn demon was finally gone, but the damage had already been done. The gate to Hell had opened. Who knows what got out.

After that showdown, the four of them head back to Bobby's, and the gravity of what they've lost finally sets in, hitting Ellen and Sam the hardest. Everything demonic had been eerily silent, leaving Sam with little to do to keep his mind off Alexis. He spent most of his time drinking, and when he was sober, he was looking for a way to get Dean out of his deal.

It was about two weeks after the roadhouse had burned down when Bobby gets a phone call on his land line, a number very few people even have. The four of them were all in the kitchen when Bobby answers, "Hello?" His face pales with what he hears on the other line.

* * *

**Earlier - St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Nebraska, May 13th, 2007.**

With a gasping breath, Alexis jolts forward in her hospital bed. "Where am I?" she asks, dazed and confused.

The nurse that was in her room answers her, "You're at St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Nebraska. You were in a fire, do you remember what happened?"

Everything came flooding back to her, the roadhouse, the fire, not being able to save her mom or Ash. "My mom's roadhouse was on fire. I had pulled up and called 911 before running in to see if I could save my mom or my friend Ash. But I blacked out after I swung the door open." she says, tears pooling in her hazel eyes, thinking of how her mother and Ash were gone along with the roadhouse itself.

The nurse, Haleigh, tells her, "We think the smoke knocked you back so forcefully when the door opened that you fell and hit your head pretty hard, causing you to pass out. The paramedics found you near the door. You had a few minor burns, but it was mostly internal smoke damage. Especially to your lungs. You weren't breathing when you arrived, we almost couldn't get you back. You've been on a ventilator since you arrived two weeks ago, up until about ten hours ago."

"I've been here t-two weeks?!" Alexis exclaims. That was the only thing she really picked up on, the rest went in one ear and out the other. "I need a phone." she states.

"You can use the one to the side of you. I'll go get a doctor, he'll be able to examine you and give you more detailed information." Haleigh says, exiting the room.

_Shit, two weeks? I've been out for two weeks!? _she thinks to herself as she grabs the phone. It was a little harder to breathe then she remembered, but that was probably from the smoke damage the nurse mentioned.

She quickly dials Bobby's homeline, a number she knew very few people had.

"Hello?" she hears the older hunter answer and she's flooded with relief.

"Bobby? It's me." she says.

"Who's me?" Bobby angrily asks.

_Why was he angry?_ "It's me, Lexi."

"Lexi Harvelle is dead you son of a bitch."

_Dead? Shit, they must have seen the roadhouse and my car and assumed I was gone. _"Wait, no Bobby. It really is me. I didn't die at the roadhouse. I had gotten there and dialed 911 before running to the building. From what the nurse here has told me," she pauses, a cough cutting her off, "I passed out just outside the door and the paramedics brought me here. It's me Bobby. Ask me anything, I can prove it to you."

"What type of car are you fixing up at my place?" Bobby asks.

"A punch buggie! Not an old one, a newer one that was totally wrecked but I salvaged it. I still need to paint that yellow, you know. You should come pick me up so I can do that." she says, beginning to ramble.

"It really is you. Your mother, Sam, Dean, and I thought you were dead." she hears the old man say, sounding as if he could cry.

"My mom? She made it out?" Alexis asked, voice full of hope. She coughs again and starts to realize this would probably become pretty common for the time being.

"She wasn't there. She'd gone out for pretzels of all things. She's alive Lex. Where are you? We'll come now." Bobby explains.

"My mom's alive. Thank God. Um, I'm at St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Nebraska."

"We're coming, Lex. Don't go anywhere." he tells her.

Alexis laughs and says, "I don't think I could even if I wanted to Bobby. I'm pretty sure I'd pass out before I managed to walk down the hall." Hearing silence on the other end, Alexis adds, "I'll explain when you get here, Bobby. Can you bring me some of the clothes I left at your house? A t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants maybe?"

"Sure thing, kid. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Ok, thanks Bobby."

* * *

**-Bobby Singer's house, Sioux Falls, South Dakota.-**

At the look on Bobby's face after he answers the phone, Sam, Dean, and Ellen turn their attention to him.

Bobby's face soon shifts to one of anger as he asks, "Who's me?"

Sam shares a look with his brother, silently asking _Who is it?_ What Bobby says next sparks a wave of anger in Sam. "Lexi Harvelle is dead you son of a bitch." Ellen's face mirrors Sam's, clearly just as angered that some scumbag demon or some being was pretending to be Alexis. Expecting Bobby to hang up, Sam was surprised when he asks, "What type of car are you fixing up at my place?"

Apparently whatever the answer was convinced Bobby that it was actually Alexis, and Sam found himself getting hopeful. They were all standing up anxiously waiting for Bobby to explain as he hung up the phone.

"Bobby?" Ellen asks, conveying everything that needed to be said in his name.

"That was Alexis. I mean it, it was her. No one else other than me knew what kind of car she was fixing up here, no one had ever even laid eyes on it. She's at a hospital in Nebraska, probably the nearest one to the roadhouse."

"Well, what are we waiting for, let's go?" Sam says, turning to the door, Ellen right on his heels.

_She's alive _he thinks. He was practically shaking he was so anxious to get there and see her. _I have to tell her how I feel before I lose the chance for good_ he resolves.

* * *

**\- Back at the hospital -**

After she hangs up with Bobby, the doctor walks in. "Nice to see you're awake." he says, "Now we can put a name to the face."

Realizing they had no idea who she was, she says, "Alexis Harvelle."

"It's nice to finally meet you. You are one strong, lucky girl, Miss Harvelle." the doctor, Dr. Horras, tells her.

"Yeah, I guess." Alexis says, thinking of how Ash and the roadhouse were gone.

"You guess?" Dr. Horras asks her, the doctorly concern evident in his voice.

"My friend, Ash, died in there. And the place was my mother's and now it's gone."

"I'm sorry." he says, but she's not entirely convinced that he sympathizes with her at all.

"Now, I need to examine you. See how your lungs sound, how your burns are healing, stuff like that." The doctor does what he needs to do and tells her she'll need to take it easy for a while, very little physical activity since her breathing needs time to regulate itself due to all the smoke damage. He says her lungs will continue to heal on their own and should be as good as new within a month and that her burns were nearly healing properly and should barely be noticeable in a few weeks.

_Guess hunting is out of the question for a while then, great, _she thinks to herself.Dr. Horras then leaves the room, telling her to get some rest. She didn't want to, but her body apparently did, because she was out within minutes.

* * *

_A/N: As of 9/22/15, everything up to and including this chapter has been edited. As you'll see in the following chapters, they're in a different format, my old one, with different POVs and such. I intend to get rid of it entirely, but that's going to take some time._


	9. Warrior

_A/N: So the timeline for Supernatural is really vague, the episodes rarely have certain dates, and I'd originally just been going off of the timeline that supernaturalwiki has for each episode, but their site is down or something and I'm having trouble placing the start of season 3. I ended up setting this chapter after 3x1, but before 3x2. I don't think I'll start writing Lex into hunts until 3x5 or later. I'm going to be pretty busy the next few days and currently have writers block, so there may only be one new chapter this weekend. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Lex.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Warrior**

Alexis slept for about two a half hours and then ended up channel surfing for a while until she landed on Spongebob Squarepants and left it at that. She'd hardly been moving and yet found it a little difficult to breathe. _This is going to be a pain in my ass_ she thought, _and mom, Bobby, Sam, and Dean are going to baby the crap out of me after the doctor tells them I have to take it easy. Great._ She figured she'd probably be resigned to bed rest for at least a week and for a few days have someone with her at all times. They'd almost lost her, and thought they had, so she wouldn't be surprised. She had fallen back to sleep by the time the three hunters and her mother got to the hospital. She'd heard them come in, but decided to keep her eyes closed and pretend she was asleep, she wanted to hear what they'd say. She hadn't looked in a mirror but she'd guessed she probably looked pretty terrible. She'd been out for two weeks, meaning she hadn't eaten solid foods, she hadn't even been breathing on her own. Her skin was even more pale than usual. She must look nearly dead actually, which was probably why the four stood there in silence for a while.

She opens her eyes to see them just staring at her. Alexis decides to break the silence and says, "Well, if I'd have known you four were just going to stand there and stare, I wouldn't have called you to come."

"Alexis." her mother says, moving towards her.

"Hi, mom." Then, noticing her mother's hesitation, she adds, "You can touch me, I won't break."

Her mother embraces her and says, "I thought we lost you."

"I know, but I'm here. I'm ok, or I will be."

The three men had moved closer, each taking one of the chairs and pulling them closer to the bed. "What do you mean will be?" Bobby asks.

"Let's just say I probably couldn't even walk out of the door on my own without feeling like I ran a marathon." she says.

Dean was about to ask something when Dr. Horras walks in. "I see your family has arrived, Miss Harvelle."

Ellen holds her hand out to the man and says, "I'm her mother."

"I see. Well, your daughter is very strong. We were pretty sure she wasn't going to make it for awhile. With fires, smoke inhalation is the leading cause of death. When the paramedics brought her in, she wasn't breathing. We had a hard time getting her back, and when we did, she couldn't breathe on her own. We had to put her on a ventilator, which she was on up until early this morning." The doctor pauses, then decides to explain further, upon noticing the four confused pairs of eyes on him. "What we believe happened was that she ran for the door of the place, she told me she thought you and her friend were in there, and when she opened the door, the smoke that billowed out knocked her back, causing her to fall and hit her head and pass out. Her lungs were severely damaged from the smoke and she had some minor burns. Her lungs, with the help of medication and the ventilator, have been working to repair themselves. They still are. Since she's young, healthy, and strong, they should be able to fully prepare themselves. I'm sure she's already discovered more difficulty in breathing than she's used to. That will slowly get better on its own. But for a while, she needs to rest, a lot. Much more than standing up and walking across a room currently will be too much for her. She'll need to be on bed rest for a few days. Other than that, her burns are healing well and she should be back to normal in six to eight weeks. We should be able to release her tomorrow. I'll leave you to catch up, page me if you have questions." the doctor explains and then exits.

Her mom says, "Alexis on bedrest. This is going to be a challenge."

"It's pretty much in the job description of being the youngest that I have to give you a hard time, Mom." Alexis says, smiling slightly at her mother.

"It's good to see you, Lex." Bobby says.

"Really good." Dean adds.

"You too, guys." she says.

"Well, I haven't eaten real food in two weeks, I'm starving. Do you think you guys could go pick up some food?" Alexis asks.

"Sure," Ellen says, "what do you want me to get?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Alexis says with a smile.

"French fries and a milkshake?" Ellen asks, a smile appearing on her face also.

"Yep!"

Her mother laughs and says, "Yeah, I can get that, Lex."

Dean then adds, with a pointed look at Bobby, "You know, I could eat too, I think I'll go with."

"Yeah, I'll come too." Bobby says.

They left and it was just Sam and Alexis.

Sam sat there just staring at her for a few minutes, like he didn't know what to say. He hadn't said a word since they'd gotten there.

"Sam." she says, and it's as if she triggered a floodgate in his brain.

He begins rambling and pacing, "Lex... We thought, I thought, you were gone. I'd lost you to a fire just like I'd lost every other woman in my life I've ever cared about. When Dean told me the roadhouse had burned down with you and Ash in it, it was like I could feel my heart break. And then I was just numb. I didn't know what to do. I never got to tell you how I felt, well feel. I like you Lex, like more than a friend like you. And I understand if you don't, I just had to tell you. I-"

"Sam." she says, cutting him off.

He looks at her, mentally preparing himself for rejection, like he didn't think he was good enough for her.

"Come here." she commands.

Sam stops pacing and walks over to her. She reaches up and grabs the lapels of his jacket, pulling his head down towards hers. She presses a small kiss to his mouth, not sure she physically should do much more, and says, "I'm right here. Ok? I'm going to be fine." Then, putting her hands on his cheeks, she adds, "And I'd be an idiot not to feel the same way about you."

He looks her in the eye and says, "Really?" actually sounding shocked.

"Of course." she says, giving him a reassuring smile.

She scoots to the side of the bed and pats the spot next to her. Sam just stares for a second and then lays down next to her. "I'm not going anywhere." she assures him as she lays her head on his chest. He maneuvers one of his arms underneath her and around her waist, pulling her into him and the two just lay there in silence for a few minutes.

"So," Alexis begins, curiosity getting the best of her, "what exactly happened with you? Where were you? And what did Ash find that got him killed?"

"Lex, it's a long story." Sam tells her.

"Please, Sam?" she says, turning to give him the best puppy dog face she could muster.

"Alright, damn you're good at that. Now I know how Dean feels when I give him my puppy dog face." Alexis smiles, satisfied that he was going to tell her what happened. He fills her in on the whole thing with Yellow Eyes and the Special children, tells her about Jake, the map Ash how the gate to Hell opened, how they killed Yellow Eyes and saw John's spirit, and fought the seven deadly sins. Then he pauses.

"Sam, what is it? What else happened?" she asks, noticing his hesitation.

"Well, it's just, you know how I said Jake stabbed me in the back, literally?" Sam says, maneuvering his head to look at her.

"Yeah…" Alexis says.

"Lex, I died. I was dead. Dean, he, he made a deal. He's going to die in a year if I can't get him out of it."

"Oh God, Sam. I'm so sorry." she says, hugging him."Hey, we'll figure out how to get him out of it, ok? Don't worry. We'll find something, we have to." Alexis adds, trying to reassure him, though she wasn't so sure they could fix this. _Dean made a crossroads deal because Sam died. Goddammit. _

"You'll help?" Sam asks her.

"Of course."

"Ok, well Dean doesn't want me looking, but I don't care. Don't let him threaten you not to do it either." he says.

"I won't, Sam."

Dean, Ellen, and Bobby return a few minutes later with food. "A milkshake and fries for Alexis." Ellen says, handing her the food. "A burger and fries for Dean, and another milkshake and fries for anyone who wants some."

"I can't believe you eat fries with a milkshake, Lex." Dean says.

"Hey! They're good!" Alexis exclaims, tossing a fry at Dean and hitting him square in the face.

"Hey!" Dean says, throwing one back at her, but missing and instead hitting Sam. At the look on Sam's face, both Alexis and Dean crack up.

"You know, whatever drugs they have me on seem to make everything more funny." Alexis says, eating her fries and milkshake.

After they finish eating Alexis speaks up, "You guys should go get a motel room and get some sleep."Ellen opens her mouth to object but her daughter cuts her off, "Go. I'll still be here in the morning. If you don't want me to be alone, Sam can stay with me. Go."

"Fine, we'll be back in the morning." Ellen says, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek, then she and Bobby leave. "

Sam, can you run and get me some Sprite from the cafeteria?" Alexis asks him but gets an odd, slightly terrified look in response.

"He's looking at you like that because the last thing our Dad asked Sam to do before he died was run and get him some coffee." Dean says.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Sam, I'll still be here. I'm just thirsty." she says.

"Yeah, I'll be right back." Sam says, leaving Dean alone with Alexis.

"He told you." Dean says.

"He did." she says, giving him a sad look.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing if you were me."

"I can't, because with the circumstances you were under, thinking me, Ash, and my mom were dead and then Sam too, I think I would've done exactly what you did. I just wish it didn't happen at all." Alexis tells him honestly.

"You know, you're the first person to see it that way instead of just yelling at me." Dean tells her and then begins, "Lex, when Bobby and I pulled up to the roadhouse and saw it burned to the ground, it was horrible. But then I found Ash's watch and saw your car, and it just didn't feel real. We really thought you were gone. You shouldn't have tried to run into a burning building, but I would've had I been you so I guess I can't really lecture you on that."

"I know." she tells him.

"Listen, the deal I made, if Sammy tries to invalidate it, he dies, Lex. You can't let him do that."

"Dean…"

"Lex, please."

"I-" Alexis begins, but stops as Sam returns.

Dean sends her a look that says _we're not done talking about this_ and then stands up and says to Sam, "I'm gonna head to a motel and get a room, are you going to stay here?"

"Yeah, I'm going to stay here."

"Alright, I'll be back tomorrow." Dean says and then heads out the door.

* * *

"Got your Sprite." Sam says, handing it to her and taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

"You can sleep next to me, you know. It's kind of cold in here anyway and you're like a human furnace." Alexis tells him, followed by a cough.

Sam laughs and moves to do exactly as she said. "So." Sam says.

"So." she replies.

"Are we dating now or what?" he asks.

"Do you want to be?" she asks, answering his question with one of her own.

"Hell yes." Sam responds.

"Then yes, we're dating." she says with a smile. "You know how you mentioned every woman in your life that you cared about seems to die?" Alexis adds, turning her head to look at Sam.

"Yeah…" he hesitantly says.

"Well, every guy in my life seems to die. So either we're both royally screwed, or our horrible luck will cancel each other out. Hopefully the latter." she says with a tight laugh and then another cough.

Propelled by curiosity, Sam asks, "How many guys in your life have died?"

"That I cared about? If I count your dad, eight."

"Eight?" Sam asks, unable to mask his shock.

"Yeah. My dad, your dad, Caleb, Zac, Zac's uncle Alec, Ash, and two people you don't know, but I should probably tell you about, especially since Dean knows about one of them." she says, finding herself slightly winded.

"How does Dean know?"

"Because that's how I know Gordon Walker, and I brought it up when he had me and Dean captive. But he's the hardest for me to talk about, so I'm going to tell you about the other one first." Alexis tells him after taking a deep breath.

"Okay." Sam says, his voice laced with curiosity.

"So, when a few months before my 18th birthday I started dating this hunter named Luke, we'd worked a few hunts together before and just teamed up when we started dating. We'd been dating about eight months when he died on a hunt that we were on." she explains.

"I'm sorry, Lex." Sam says.

"And the other man that I lost was my brother."

Sam's eyes widen at Lex's confession and he says, "You had a brother?"

"Yeah, he was the oldest. Matt. He was ten years older than me. Six months after my dad died, Matt left to hunt. A year after that, he was dead. His last hunt, the one he died on, was with Gordon Walker. I was barely eight and I'd already lost both of the men in my family. They were dead within two years of each other." Alexis says, her voice starting to break.

Sam wraps his arm around her and rests his chin on her head, "I'm so sorry Lex, I had no idea."

"Can we just sleep? I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Yeah, we can sleep."

* * *

A/N: I hope you liked the chapter! Yes, Sam and Alexis finally got together, but this is Supernatural we're talking about, it's not all lollipops and candy canes. Please leave a review letting me know what you think!


	10. Ashes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters in it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Ashes**

Bobby, Ellen, and Dean return to the hospital around seven that morning to find Alexis nestled into Sam, both asleep. "They look so peaceful." Ellen says.

Dean just smiles, it was about time those two happened. The three sit down quietly, not wanting to wake either of the sleeping hunters.

Alexis woke up a few minutes later anyway, but only spots her mom.

"Bobby and Dean went to get some coffee." Ellen tells her daughter, noticing her questioning look.

"Oh, okay." Alexis says.

"So, are you itching to get out of here yet? You've always hated hospitals." her mother says.

"Yes! I'm checking myself out today even if they say they'd like to keep me longer. I've been here two weeks too long."

Ellen just shakes her head. "Alexis, I know we've had a rather rocky relationship ever since you were 16, probably even longer. After Matt died, something changed with you. You grew up too fast, and when you wanted to hunt, I masked my fear and hurt with anger. Your dad died on a hunt, and so did Matt. I couldn't bear to see that happen to you. But you, being as headstrong and stubborn as your father, wouldn't listen. You wanted to hunt and I should've supported you, not pushed you away. When I got back to the roadhouse that day and saw the flames sky high and then your car, I didn't know what to do. I'd lost you and it wasn't from hunting. Had you never left when you were 16, you probably would've been there anyway. And now, I have another chance. So Alexis, I'm sorry." Ellen says, tears pooling in her eyes.

"Mom…" Alexis begins, but doesn't know what to say, so she settles on, "I'm sorry too."

"So, you and Sam?" her mother asks, nodding towards the still asleep Winchester at her side, a small smile on her face.

"Yeah, I guess so." Alexis says, smiling.

Sam wakes up as Bobby and Dean return with some coffee and what the hospital cafeteria considered breakfast food.

Dr. Horras came in about twenty five minutes later and listened to her lungs and did a bunch of other medical things. He'd told her she'd be able to leave but reminded her yet again she needed to take it easy, give herself time to recover, and to not overdo it. _Don't have to worry about that, doc. I'll barely be able to make a move without my mom, Sam, Dean, or Bobby saying something. _

"So, when can I get out of here?" Alexis asks the doctor.

"I'll have a nurse bring by the discharge papers." he says as he exits the room.

"Thank God." she says.

"So, Lex, Bobby has offered to let us stay there while you recover." Ellen says.

"Actually, I was thinking I could go back to Chicago." Alexis tells her mother, followed by a cough.

"Chicago?" Ellen asks.

"Yeah, I have an apartment there."

"Lexi, you're supposed to be resting."

"I will, in Chicago. There's three bedrooms. You can come, so can the Winchesters if they want."

"We'll come." Dean says, "Besides, Bobby probably wants his house back."

"So Chicago it is then." Alexis says and then asks, "Is my car still where I left it?"

"It is, none of us could manage to go back for it." Bobby tells her.

"I want to go there before we leave then. Sam and I can drive my Camaro back to Chicago." she says.

"Lex…" Ellen starts.

But Alexis insists. "No. I have to see it."

"It's probably not a good idea, Lexi. You're supposed to be resting." Dean says.

"I don't care. I have to see it, Dean. Now you guys can either take me, or I can try and get there on my own." Alexis says, her mind dead set on seeing what was left of Harvelle's Roadhouse and getting her car.

"Fine." Ellen relents.

A few hours later, Alexis is discharged from the hospital. "Do I have to ride in that wheelchair?" Alexis asks, staring at it with disgust.

"You know you do, come on Lex. Just sit in it and I'll wheel you out." Sam tells her.

She wrinkles her nose and sticks her tongue out, resembling a little kid. She stands up to move towards the wheel chair but trips and would've fallen had Sam not caught her.

"I'm not sure you'd make it out without a wheelchair anyway." Sam says.

Alexis shoots him a glare as she shakes him off and sits in the dreaded wheelchair. "Let's just get the hell out of here."

* * *

**Harvelle's Roadhouse - May 14th, 2007**

As Dean pulls the Impala into the lot that had belonged to the roadhouse, Alexis begins to feel an overwhelming sense of panic. She gulps and tries to push it down. _There's nothing left to be burnt down, I__'m fine, _she tries to tell herself.

Both Sam and Dean turn back to face her and Dean asks, "Are you sure you want to do this, Lex?"

"I have to." Alexis says, opening her door.

She sits there for a minute, taking in the sight before her. The roadhouse was almost entirely gone, everything was covered in ashes. Her Camaro sat off to the side, the black blending right in. She takes a deep breath, which she had to do more often it seemed, and gets out of the car.

Sam was immediately at her side. "Let's just get your car and go, Lex. You probably shouldn't be around all this debris and soot anyway or even walking around much." he says, pleading with her to just do as he says.

"I can't, Sam. I need to see this."

She slowly walks towards what was once the entrance and was hit with the memory of the last time she'd stood there. Suddenly she couldn't breathe and she hunches over, trying to catch her breath. Sam and Dean were both at her side immediately, trying to get her breathing to regulate.

"Lex, look at me. Breathe, just breathe. You're panicking, you need to calm down, ok?" Dean tells her and she shakes her head, but still couldn't seem to breathe.

She was coughing, remembering the feeling of her lungs filling with smoke. One thing was for sure, she was never smoking ever again. After a few minutes her breathing had evened out again and she'd stopped coughing.

"Lex, I really think we should just leave." Dean says, attempting to get her to do just that.

"No." she says and then starts to walk into what is left of the roadhouse but Sam wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her to him.

"If you're going in, I'm walking with you." he says.

Alexis looks around and can barely process what she sees before her. _I can't believe it's gone, _she thinks to herself. She moves towards the area where the bar had stood and spots something amongst the debris. She slowly bends down and pulls out an air horn and she's reminded of Ash. Suddenly it's all too much and she just collapses into a mixture of sobs and coughs, grieving Ash for the first time since she'd woken up.

Sam lifts her up and walks her towards the two cars saying, "That's it, we're getting you out of here." Alexis buries her head in his chest, trying to stop the tears from cascading down her face.

Dean sees Sam carrying Alexis and asks, "What happened?"

"We shouldn't have brought her here Dean, it's too much."

As Sam sets Alexis in the passenger seat of her Camaro, Bobby and Ellen pull up. Ellen walks over to Alexis to see if she wanted to ride with her, but she shook her head no, so Ellen got in the Impala with Dean and they drove off, Bobby right behind them, leaving Alexis, Sam, the Camaro, and the ruins of Harvelle's Roadhouse behind.

"You okay?" Sam asks Alexis as he gets into the driver's seat.

"No." she says, not making eye contact. "Let's just go." she tells him, turning her head to look out the window. Her mind was racing and she couldn't seem to keep herself from crying no matter how hard she tried.

After driving for twenty minutes with Alexis sniffling and stifling her sobs, Sam pulls over.

"Sam, what're you doing?" Alexis asks.

"My girlfriend is sad and I'm going to try and comfort her." he says, reaching over and pulling her onto his lap.

Another tear falls from her eye and she reaches up to wipe it away. She needed to stop crying.

Sam wraps his arms around her and rests his head on hers. "It'll be ok." he tells her.

"Don't. Don't say that." she says, moving her head away from his.

"It's not going to be okay. Ash is dead, the roadhouse is gone. That will never be okay."

"Lex..." Sam says.

"No. I mean, what's the point? Why the hell am I still here? I should be dead, Sam. What good am I to anyone alive?" she says, pausing to catch her breath, "I lose more people than I save, everyone around me seems to die. Why the hell do I keep surviving? I should've died with Zac. Everyone else would've been so much better off." she finishes.

"Don't say that. Hey, look at me." Sam says, cupping her chin in his hand,forcing her to look at him. "Don't think like that, Lex. We need you, I need you. Ok? If you were supposed to be dead, you would be. Right now, you're here with me. You just have to keep fighting, alright? You can't afford to think like that." he finishes, squeezing her tighter, as if she would vanish if he let go.

"Sam, everyone keeps dying. What's the point?"

"I know, I know. The point is we're still here and we've got to save who we can."

"What if I can't? I've never felt like this before. Defeated, scared, sad, worthless, and so damn exhausted." Alexis says.

"You are not worthless, you hear me? And you can, Lex. You can do this. Things will get better, I promise." Sam tells her, her talk was starting to scare him. He can't lose her again, for good, he can't.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." she mumbles.

He sighs and pulls her closer to him. "We'll figure this all out, alright? For now, let's just get to Chicago and get you better." he says, placing a kiss on her forehead before she moves back to her seat and they pull back onto the road.

Alexis goes back to looking out the window and falls asleep about a half an hour later.

* * *

**-Sam-centric POV-**

Sam's phone rings after two hours of driving and he quickly moves to silence it, not wanting to wake the sleeping girl next to him.

"Hello?" he answers, speaking softly.

"Hey, Sammy. Listen, Ellen and I are going to stop for something to eat. Do you and Lex want to catch up and eat too? We can wait." his older brother says.

"Nah. You two go ahead. I'm not all that hungry and Lex is asleep. Besides, I don't think she'd want to eat anyway." Sam tells his brother.

"Alright. Well, when she wakes up, you two should stop and eat. Ellen says you should also stop at a motel for the night, a near 12 hour car ride probably isn't a good idea for Lex, or you for that matter."

"Okay, Dean. I'll suggest it to Lex, but if she doesn't go for it, we'll end up just driving straight through." Sam tells him.

"Ok. Bye Sammy." Dean says and there's a click on the other end.

Not ten minutes later, the sound of Tim McGraw by Taylor Swift fills the car, Alexis' phone. He grabs it to silence it but sees _Ryan _flash across the screen and decides to answer it.

"Hello?" he answers.

"Who is this?" Ryan says, sounding panicked.

"Ryan? This is Sam, Sam Winchester." Sam says.

"Winchester? Wait, the Sam that was with Lexi back in Indiana?"

"Yeah, that's the one." Sam tells him.

"Didn't know you were a Winchester. Where's Lexi? I just heard about the Roadhouse and some people said she died and she- she can't be dead, Sam, is she there?" Ryan asks, sounding nearly on the verge of hysterics.

"She's ok, Ryan. She's right next to me, she's just asleep."

"Thank God. Can you have her call me when she wakes up? Jake too? We were freaking out."

"Yeah, will do."

"Ok, thanks." and there's a click signifying Ryan had hung up.

_He sounded really freaked, I'll have to ask Lex what the history is there. _Sam found himself not being able to get his mind off of Ryan and what maybe he once was to Lex. He remembered the way Lex had absolutely freaked when she heard Ryan was taken by demons, and the way she hugged him, and how he hugged her back too for that matter, when they found him. Then the way Ryan sounded on the phone just then. _Why am I still thinking about this? _He decided to turn on the radio to try and get his mind off of whatever Lex and Ryan were. He drove just listening to the radio for another hour until Alexis woke up.

"How long was I asleep?" she asks him.

"About three hours. Do you want to stop for some food?"

"Do you?" Alexis asks him after she yawns.

"Yeah, I'm hungry." Sam tells her.

"We can stop then." Then she asks, "What the hell are you listening to?" as she reaches for the radio, followed by a cough. She turns it off and pulls out her iPod.

"I don't really know." Sam says with a laugh.

"Well, my car, my music." Alexis tells him, plugging her iPod into the iPod jack. Soon, Clocks by Coldplay flows through the speakers.

"At least it's better than Dean's music." Sam says.

About twenty minutes later, they pull into a diner. They grab a both and sit across from one another.

"What are you going to get?" Sam asks her.

"Nothing." she says.

"Nothing? Lex, you really should eat something." he tells her, remembering that she didn't eat anything at the hospital that morning either.

"I'm not hungry, Sam."

"Lex…" Sam begins. _She's lost so much weight from being in the hospital, she really needs to eat_ he thinks to himself.

"Sam, I'm not hungry. I'm tired, I feel gross, and I just don't feel like eating, ok?" Alexis says.

He sighs and goes back to looking at his menu. "Will you at least eat some of my fries if I get them?" he asks her, looking up.

"Sam…"

"Lex…" he says, matching her tone.

"I'll get a milkshake, ok?" she finally says.

"Good." Sam says, _at least she's getting something other than water. _

After they order, Alexis says, "Look, I'm sorry I'm being so moody, you're just trying to help."

"Hey, you don't have to apologize, I get it." Sam tells her.

She gives him a weak smile and he decides to bring up the fact that Ryan had called. "So, while you were asleep, Ryan called you. I answered it so it wouldn't wake you." He begins.

"He did?"

"Yeah, he'd just heard about the roadhouse and was kind of freaked. He wants you to call him and Jake back."

"Alright, I'll do that when we leave." Alexis tells him, coughing again.

She notices him looking at her and asks, "I know you want to ask something, Sam, so just ask."

"What's your history with Ryan?" Sam asks.

She just laughs and shakes her head. "Is someone jealous?" she asks, a smirk on her face.

"No…" he says.

"Whatever you say, Sam. I've known Ryan since I was 14 and he was 17. When I started hunting, I met up with him and Jake a lot. We were all pretty good friends, still are, though we've hit our rough spots." She pauses to catch her breath, she'd been doing that more lately, "When I was 17 and he was 20 we tried dating for a few months. It just ended up not working. So we decided we were better off as friends, it took some time to get back to that, but we did. He and Jake are probably the closest friends I have left now." Alexis explains.

_So they did date,_ Sam thinks to himself.

"Sam, I was never in love with him. I do love him, as a friend. The same way I loved Ash and Zac."

"Okay. Who broke it off?" Sam asks, still curious and slightly jealous.

"I did. He was hurt at first, but he understood and we got past it." she tells him.

"Was he in love with you?" he asks, unable to help himself.

"I don't know, Sam. Neither of us ever said it, so I don't think so."

Sam nods and the waiter comes with his food and Lex's shake.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

They were finished and on the road a half an hour later.

"So," Sam begins, "we can probably drive for a few more hours and then should probably stop for the night. You're supposed to be resting, and I don't think I should be driving much longer without sleep."

"Ok. Don't let me fall asleep, or I won't sleep tonight." Alexis tells him. "I'm going to call Ryan back."

She talks with Ryan and Jake for about thirty minutes, it was a mostly one-sided conversation, Ryan and Jake doing all the talking, before she finally says she should hang up. "I should probably get going, Ry. I'll more than likely be in Chicago for a good month or so before anyone lets me hunt again, so if you're around, call me and you two can stop in." Alexis says, coughing again. _This whole coughing constantly thing is really getting old._

"Sounds good. I'm really glad you're okay, Lexi. I don't know what I would've done. Besides Jake, you're really the only friend I've got left. You and Jake are family to me, I've lost everyone else. I know things were a little weird after we dated, but I'm glad we're in the place we are now. I love you, Lex, you know that right? As a friend, a family member." Ryan tells her, beginning to ramble.

"Yeah, I know, Ry. You and Jake are both like family to me too. And you know I love you too, Jake also. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Lexi." Ryan says and the call ends.

They drive until 9:30 at night, when they decide to stop. The motel they stopped at only had rooms with one bed available.

"Looks like we're sleeping in the same bed again." Sam says.

"At least it's bigger and hopefully more comfortable than a hospital bed." Alexis says with a laugh.

When they get in the room, Alexis says, "I'm just going to go to bed now," setting her stuff down and letting out a cough. She kicks off her shoes and pulls off her bra underneath her shirt.

"I'll never understand how girls do that." Sam says.

She laughs and says, "Magic." Then she pulls off her hoodie, leaving her in a navy blue cami. Her cami didn't quite meet her shorts, so parts of her tattoos stood out.

Sam notices the birds and says, "I think you lied to me about what those birds mean."

Alexis looks up and says, "Well, not exactly a lie, they do represent my family. I just never got one for me. So they represent my dad, mom, Matt, and Jo."

"Still technically a lie." Sam says with a laugh, "Anyway, that anti-possession tattoo was a good idea. Wish I had gotten one right after seeing yours."

"Yeah..." she says, eyes on the ground.

"Lex, we never really talked about that. I remember most of it. I think it wanted me to."

"We don't need to talk about it." Alexis says, letting out a cough.

"Lex… The things it said…"

"Sam, please. I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay." Sam says, letting the conversation drop.

The two both slip into opposite sides of the bed and Alexis rests her head on Sam's chest and they both lay there for a few minutes in silence. "Wanna know something I decided today?" Alexis asks, letting out yet another cough.

"What?" Sam asks her.

"That I'm never ever smoking again. When we were at the roadhouse today, and I stood at the entrance..." she pauses, catching her breath and willing away the tears threatening to escape. "I remembered feeling the smoke fill my lungs as I was blown backwards. I did fall and hit my head, I remember that now, but not before I had heard the screams coming from inside." Alexis finishes.

"I'm so sorry, Lex. I am glad you're not going to smoke anymore, though."

"Yeah." she says, turning further into him, ready to sleep. She was exhausted.

She fell asleep within minutes and Sam laid there listening to her breathe. Her lungs were definitely working harder, and her breathing wasn't quite regular. He falls asleep about ten minutes later.

* * *

**Alexis' apartment, Chicago, IL, May 15th, 2007 (Sam-centric POV)**

Sam and Alexis were on the road by 8 that morning and made it to Chicago around noon. Dean and Ellen must have drove straight through and gotten there sometime last night. Sam helped Alexis out of the car and up to the apartment. He had offered to just carry her, but she insisted on walking, albeit slowly, but walking nonetheless. When they got up to the apartment, Dean was the only one there.

"You're mom went to the store so you wouldn't have an excuse to be on your feet." Dean tells Alexis.

"Of course she did." she says. "And now, the dreaded bedrest begins." Alexis adds as Sam leads her to her room.

"I think I'm going to take a nap. Don't let me sleep too long though." she tells Sam once in her room.

"Don't you want lunch? You didn't eat this morning." Sam asks her.

"Not really, I'm tired."

"Lex, you need to eat."

"Later." she says, getting in to bed and turning away from Sam.

Sam sighs and walks out of her room, closing the door behind him.

"How's she doing?" Dean asks Sam as he walks back into the kitchen.

"She's sleeping a lot, but she's also not really eating. She had a milkshake for dinner last night and hasn't had a thing since." Sam tells his older brother.

"She's gotta eat." Dean says. "She seems to have lost a lot of weight in the hospital, she's gotta get her strength back."

"I know." Sam says.

"You could get some sleep too you know, you look pretty tired." Dean tells his younger brother.

"I'm good." he says.

Ellen walks through the door a few minutes later with some groceries. "Hey Sam, where's Lex?" she asks as she sets the bags down on the counter.

"She wanted to take a nap."

"Oh. Okay. How's she doing?"

"Sleeping a lot, not really eating." Sam tells her.

Ellen just nods.

"You don't seem surprised." Dean says.

"I'm not. Sadly, I'm used to it. When Bill passed, she just fell into the whole not eating thing as a way of grieving. I didn't even notice until she had passed out from lack of food. She was only 6. She's told you about Matt, hasn't she?"

The Winchesters both nod.

"Well, when Matt died, she'd just turned 8. I watched her more this time and noticed her doing the same thing. She wouldn't eat. Said she wasn't hungry, and she probably wasn't. I had to make her eat, and that wasn't the easiest task. She's always been so damn stubborn, just like her father. So no, I'm not surprised that she hasn't been eating. But she needs to, especially this time after being in the hospital so long and losing so much weight." Ellen explains while putting away the groceries. She then turns to Sam and asks, "Has she eaten anything since the hospital?"

"Just a milkshake." Sam responds.

"Well, I bought some of those smoothie packet things she's always liked. I'll make her one of those and see if I can get her to drink it in a few hours."

**-Back to Alexis-centric POV- **

Around 3, Ellen walks into Alexis' room carrying a chocolate and banana smoothie. "Lexi? You awake?" her mother asks.

"Yeah." Alexis mumbles.

"Good. I made you a smoothie." Ellen says, walking towards the bed and sitting at the foot of it.

"Not hungry." she says.

"I know, but you've got to start getting food back in your system, Lex. I'm used to this unfortunately but the boys aren't, both Sam and Dean are worried about you. And you lost some weight in the hospital, so you really need to be eating."

Alexis wrinkles her nose and reluctantly takes a sip of the smoothie. "Have you called Jo?" she asks her mother.

"I did. She's going to head here as soon as she finishes the hunt she's on."

"Good." Alexis says with a cough.

"We're going to get past this, Lex. None of us will forget, but we'll move on. I think I'm going to join Jo with hunting now that I don't have the roadhouse anymore. I'm assuming the Winchesters will pretty much insist you join them."

Alexis over-dramatically gasps and says, "You? Hunting?" And then adds, "I don't know mom, you could get hurt." mimicking what her mother had told her years ago.

"Yeah, yeah. You're not going to let me forget about that are you?" Ellen asks.

"Don't bet on it, Mom." she says with a small smile.

"I was thinking, if Jo comes, you two can take the room with two beds, Dean can take the other room with one, and Sam can just sleep in here, so no one is on the floor or couch." Alexis adds, followed by another cough.

Her mother gives her a look so she says, "Oh come on, you know Sam and I would just be sleeping. I'm not even sure I could-"

Ellen cuts her daughter off before she can finish that sentence. "Alright, alright. I get it."

"So it's settled then." Alexis says, taking another sip of her smoothie that she really didn't want before setting it on the bedside table.

"Ok. Well I'll let you rest." her mother says, standing up.

"Mom? Can you hand me that book laying on the dresser?" she asks.

"Sure." Ellen says, grabbing _The Thief Lord_ off the dresser and handing it to her daughter before leaving the room.

* * *

_A/N: So here's the next chapter. I'll probably only take one more chapter before getting Alexis back into hunts. So, the next chapter will probably cover the span of a month or so. Let me know what you think!_


	11. I Heal Now Too?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it, I also do not own the song "Holding A Heart" by Toby Lightman. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: "I Heal Now Too?"**

Alexis had been on bed rest the past five days. Five entire days of only getting up to use the bathroom. She'd been feeling much better than she even had expected to, like she was healing faster than normal. She was just itching to get out of bed and back into hunting. Dean had left to do a hunt with Jo yesterday and her mother had gone for groceries, again. When you have three Harvelles and two Winchesters under one roof, food does not last.

So currently, it was just her and Sam. "Sam!" she calls out.

He quickly appears in the doorway, "What is it?"

"Can I pleaseee get out of bed now? I feel so much better." Alexis asks, not at all sorry that she sounded like she was 5. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

"You're supposed to be resting."

"That's all I've done the past 5 days! I've literally watched the entire first four seasons of One Tree Hill! I'm going to go crazy if I don't get out of here!" she exclaims, hand gestures and all.

Sam just stares at her.

"Ok. How about if I can walk from here to the balcony and back without stopping to catch my breath, I can be off bedrest?"

"Alexis..." Sam begins.

"Come on! I can literally feel my brain turning to mush. All I've seen the past few days is Lucas Scott go between Brooke and Peyton and Nathan Scott and Haley fight and make up multiple times and Dan Scott be the evil ass he is and I can't take it anymore! Please, Sam!" Alexis says, giving him her best damn puppy dog face.

Sam stares at her for a minute then finally relents, "Fine. But if you feel like you need to stop, stop. Don't push yourself, Lex."

"Yes!" she says, nearly jumping out of bed. She gives him a hug and heads for the balcony, Sam on her heels.

Alexis made it to the balcony feeling ok, so she turned to head back. She made it back to her bedroom without stopping.

"There. I did it." she says to Sam, not even out of breath.

"Well, I guess you can move around a little then. I was just cleaning some weapons, want to help?"

"I will clean anything if it means I'm not in bed." Alexis says, turning for the door.

Sam laughs and follows her out.

They had been at the table cleaning weapons when Sam accidentally cuts his palm with one of the knives.

"Shit." Sam says.

Alexis looks up and notices blood flowing from his hand. "Let me see." she commands.

He holds out his left hand, palm facing up. She puts her fingers to it, trying to see if it was deep. Suddenly, it disappeared underneath her touch and her left palm started to hurt.

"What the hell?" the two say simultaneously.

She notices a raised red mark had appeared on her palm exactly where Sam's had been.

Sam grabs her hand in his and runs his fingers along the mark. "Does it hurt?" he asks.

"It feels like I just cut myself."

"It's like you healed me, but transferred some of it to yourself." he says.

"What, I heal now too? And transfer part of it in the process?" Alexis says, exasperated.

"I think we need to go see Missouri." Sam says.

"That's probably a good idea." she agrees. "First, can you take me to the hospital?" Alexis asks.

Sam's face immediately becomes concerned, "Why? What's wrong? Is it your lungs?" he asks, eyes locked on hers.

"I'm fine. More than I probably should be, that's why I want to go. See if I'm right and I've healed unnaturally fast."

"Okay. Let's go now, we can leave a note for your mom."

"Okay." she says, standing up.

They were out the door and in the car ten minutes later.

They waited what seemed like forever at the hospital until they were seen by a doctor. He did all the normal doctor stuff, but then said he wanted to run a few tests and scans. Those took another two or three hours. _Because what's the fun in going to the hospital if you don't get to wait for hours on end _she thinks to herself. When the scans and tests finally came back, the doctor sat Alexis down and told her what they showed.

"Well, Miss Harvelle, it appears as though your lungs have almost entirely healed themselves. I've never seen anything like it, you healed in a third of the time most people would have. I would still suggest taking it easy the next day or so, easing yourself back into your normal routine. You've been inactive the past three weeks, so your body will need some time to get used to being up and moving again." the doctor explains to her.

"So I'm almost back to normal? I just shouldn't run a marathon or anything?" Alexis asks, overjoyed that she no longer had to be on bedrest or have help with almost everything.

The doctor smiles slightly and says, "Exactly. Your lungs may continue to heal themselves further, but they're good as they are now, much better than expected actually. Just ease yourself back into your normal day."

"Ok, thank you so much." she says, walking out of the room to find Sam.

"Sam!" Alexis says once she spots him.

He turns and walks over to her. "So?" he asks.

"The doctor said I healed in like a third of the time most do, but I'm good!" she exclaims.

"Lex, that's awesome." Sam says, hugging her.

"That does mean though that I seem to have some type of healing power and we do need to see Missouri." Alexis tells him.

"Yeah, we do."

* * *

An hour and a half later, Alexis and Sam were on their way to Lawrence, Kansas. Sam had called Missouri while Alexis had explained everything to her mother and even offered for her to come with. Ellen decided she'd stay back and just wait for Dean and Jo.

"So," Alexis begins once they were in the car, "how are you with going back to Lawrence?"

"I barely lived there and I have no real memories of the place, so I guess I don't really mind. Dean's the one who has more trouble with it." Sam explains to her and she nods.

"Where were you born?" he asks.

"I was born in Nashville, I guess my dad had a hunt in the area and they ended up settling there for a few months. None of us were born in the same state actually." Alexis says with a laugh.

"Really?" he asks.

"Yep. We each had an area of the country covered too. Since I was born in Nashville, that's the midwest. Jo was born in Elizabeth, New Jersey, so that's the east coast, and Matt was born in Brisbane, California, the west coast. I guess my parents never really settled down until I was 2. We had the roadhouse, but from what my mom told me, it was much different back then." Alexis explains.

"Wow." Sam says.

They drove for another three and a half hours before deciding to stop to eat somewhere near Iowa City. "Can we go to Jimmy Johns?" Alexis had asks, spotting the sign for one, "Diners get really boring."

Sam laughs and says, "Yeah, we can."

They park and walk into the sandwich shop.

"Wanna split a cookie with me?" Alexis asks upon spotting them.

"Sure." he says.

They each order their sandwiches and Alexis grabs a big chocolate chip cookie for them to split. They finished eating in about thirty minutes and were back on the road.

"So, when do you think I can go back to hunting? I should probably train for a week first, and the doctor did say to ease back into normal. And normal for me is hunting the things that are not normal." Alexis says.

"Maybe two weeks?" Sam says, then adds, "You know Dean and I both want you to come with us right?"

"You do?" she asks, not all that surprised.

"Yeah, we do. So will you?"

"I will. On one condition, well actually two."

Sam shoots her a questioning look before asking, "And what would those conditions be?"

"Well, one, I get to drive at least some of the time. And two, I'm used to hunting on my own and coming and going alone, so if I want to split for a week or meet up with Ryan and Jake for a hunt or something, you two have to let me." she tells him.

"Alright I guess, but you'll have to talk to Dean about the first one. He barely lets me drive his car." Sam tells her.

"Well I've already driven it once." Alexis says.

Sam stares at her in shock, "Seriously? When was this?"

"When possessed-you tied up Jo and I and shot Dean in the shoulder. He was going to head to Bobby's because he was pretty sure that's where the demon would've gone, and he tried to leave me and Jo, he'd threatened Jo I think so she stayed, but I fought him on it and forced him to let me go and let me drive because he had been shot."

"Damn." Sam says.

"I can be very persuasive. Especially if I'm pissed off. The word Dean used was scary, which works too." she tells him with a small laugh.

"Dean said you were scary? Remind me never to piss you off then." he says with a laugh of his own.

"Don't piss me off, Sam." Alexis says with a smile.

They drive in a comfortable silence with occasional small talk the rest of the way to Lawrence.

* * *

It was about 11:15 at night when they finally made it to Missouri's place. The older woman was still awake, waiting for them, but told them to just get some sleep and they'd all talk in the morning. They both agreed and headed up to the room Missouri had set up.

"So, same bed or separate? I've kinda gotten used to having you as a human furnace next to me." Alexis says.

"Same. Can't have you getting cold now can we?" Sam says with a smile, then says, "You do have cold feet though, you know."

"I know. But I hate socks!" she says.

She walks into the bathroom to brush her teeth and her hair while Sam was changing in the room. "You know what I realized today? We've been dating over a week now and haven't even really kissed. Some couple we are." Alexis says with a small laugh.

Sam appears behind her, "I can fix that." he says, spinning her around to face him, and then crashing his lips into hers as she wraps her arms around his neck. It sounded cliche, but it was like time slowed down as their mouths moved against each other. She smiled into the kiss, thinking of how silly they probably looked. She was nearly on the tips of her toes and Sam was leaning down slightly, her hair had only been halfway brushed through, and his plaid shirt was all the way unbuttoned except for the last button, but she wouldn't change a thing. This kiss was different than she was used to, it wasn't rough or demanding, it was passionate and sweet. She wasn't sure if she'd ever been kissed the way Sam was kissing her. She pulled away and rested her forehead on his, noticing the way his eyes weren't just one color, they seemed to change depending on how you looked at them, and damn were they beautiful.

"Better?" Sam asks, a smile plastered on his face.

"Much better." Alexis says and then turns back to finish brushing out her hair.

* * *

The next morning Alexis awoke to the smell of pancakes, bacon, and coffee. She may not be a fan of breakfast food, but that didn't mean she didn't enjoy the smell of it. When she opened her eyes, she noticed Sam was already awake and gazing at her.

"Were you watching me sleep?" she asks him as she sits up.

"For a few minutes. You look so peaceful when you're sleeping." he tells her.

"You're weird." she says, smiling at him. "Smells like Missouri made breakfast." Alexis adds.

"Yeah, we should probably go eat some." Sam says.

She pulls on an oversized t-shirt over her cami and shorts, then heads downstairs, Sam right behind her.

"Well, look who finally woke up." Missouri says.

Alexis notices the clock for the first time and sees that it's a quarter to ten. "Didn't realize it was almost ten." she says.

"Well, have some breakfast."

Sam fills his plate as Alexis grabs a piece of toast and two pieces of bacon to put on her plate and then fills up a cup of apple juice. It wasn't much, but that was pretty much the extent of breakfast food that she ate.

"So, what brings you two here?" Missouri asks them as they sit down at the table.

"She really can't read your mind?" Sam asks, wondering why Missouri didn't already know why they were there.

"Nope." she says.

"Interesting." he responds.

"Did you develop another power?" the psychic asks Alexis.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's some type of healing."

"I see. Well I'll look into it after we eat." Missouri tells her.

An hour later, Alexis and Sam are seated on the couch of Missouri's living room with Missouri seated across from them.

"Tell me what exactly happened."

They explain the cut on Sam's hand yesterday and the whole thing with the fire to Missouri.

"Well, it sounds like you did acquire the healing power, but with some differences. It seems as though when you heal someone, some extent of their injury transfers to you temporarily. I haven't seen it before, but I have heard of it. The case I'd heard of mostly was the child of a healer, she had inherited some of her mother's healing power, but since her father didn't have any, they mixed and that's what she was left with. The ability to transfer injuries to herself for the most part. Truthfully, if I didn't know better, I'd say the source of your power, Alexis, was angelic. The energy is practically the opposite of demonic but also very, very strong."

"So what, she has like angel blood or something similar in her system like the demon blood in mine?" Sam asks.

"It almost seems that way, but I have never heard of angels being real, so it's hard to say." the older woman explains.

"Perfect." Alexis says, already thinking of exactly who she was going to ask.

"I'm afraid I can't be of much more help than that." Missouri tells them.

"Well, you were able to give us some information we didn't have so, thank you."

"Anytime darlin', you know that."

Sam stands up and exits the room, saying he was going to shower.

"Missouri?" Alexis asks.

"Yes child?"

"Do you have anything that would say trap something with the power of what is in me? Something like an angel if they were to exist?"

"I've heard of holy oil that is supposed to do just that, but I've never seen it happen. I do have some though. Why do you ask?"

"I'm going to do some research and see if I can find anything solid on angels. Maybe I can summon one and find out some information." she says, partially lying even though she hated to.

"That sounds dangerous. But I will give you the holy oil and this one blade I have that is rumored to kill anything. Some have called it an angel blade, but I believe that is just due to the wings etched on the handle."

"Thank you, Missouri."

"Be careful, Alexis."

"I will."

Missouri went to grab the oil and the blade and Alexis stuffed them into her bag. She was going to have a little chat with Gabriel, she just needed to find out how to summon him. She headed to Missouri's library and began to search for anything on summoning angels, archangels in particular. Eventually she found one ritual repeated in three different books that claimed to summon an archangel, which she knew Gabriel was. One of the few things she knew about religion were the names of the archangels. Alexis decided she'd try the repeated one. It was what was called an enochian chant, no ingredients or anything needed. It wasn't until Sam came in and told her it was past one and he was going to go get some lunch that she'd realized how long she'd been reading.

"I'll come with you." she tells him, putting away the last few books she had out. She had taken a picture of the chant on her phone so she didn't lose it and it didn't fall into the wrong hands.

After they ate, they decided they'd head back to Chicago instead of waiting until the morning. The two stopped around ten that night and got a motel room. Once Sam was asleep, she left him a note saying she wasn't tired and was going for a drive. She'd put the holy oil and some matches in her pocket, and slipped the blade into her jacket, then slipped out the door. Alexis had found an abandoned building about twenty minutes away from the motel and headed there.

* * *

Once she got there, she lays out a ring of holy oil and pulls up the chant on her phone. "_Zod ee reh doh noh koh ah beh rah ma geh nah zod peh sah geh" _and moments later, Gabriel appeared before her in the ring. She quickly drops the match onto the holy oil, igniting the ring and trapping Gabriel.

"Well, Alexis, you are much smarter than I initially gave you credit for. Summoning an archangel? That's no easy task, and yet here I stand, trapped no less." Gabriel says, gesturing to the ring of fire. "Now, mind telling me why I am here? I was in the middle of something."

"You can sense things about people, right? Like if they were to say, have demon blood in them?" she asks him.

"You mean like Sam? Yes I can. Is that all?" he says.

"No. Now what can you sense about me? I have some type of power, and a good friend of mine who happens to be a psychic says its the opposite of demonic, angelic almost."

"You really figured it out that quickly? Damn did I underestimate you." Gabe tells her.

"Figured what out?" she demands, starting to lose her patience.

"Well, when you were a baby, an angel dripped some of its grace into your mouth."

She stares at him, sensing he knew more. "What else?" she commands.

"That's all."

"Oh, I think there's more." she says, pulling the angel blade out of her jacket.

Gabriel's eyes widen, "Where the hell did you get that thing?"

"Not important. But judging by the way you reacted to it, it can kill you. Now, tell me everything you know." Alexis says, a slightly haunting look on her face.

"Fine. The angel was me ok? So you have archangel grace in your system. The two Winchesters are going to find themselves caught up in a lot of crap involving Heaven and Hell, and I knew you were going to get caught up in that. It's what you would call either fate or destiny. I also knew you would more than likely end up dead, caught in the crossfire, and I decided you deserved a fighting chance. I knew if you had some of my grace in your system, you'd develop some powers. And maybe, just maybe, you'd live through what is coming. I can't tell you what that will be or when it will be, and I also can't tell you what powers you'll develop, because I do not know."

By the time the archangel had finished, Alexis was staring at him, mouth hanging open in shock.

"So, I'm guessing you've developed some powers since I'm standing here. What are they?" Gabe asks her.

"Telekinesis and some messed up type of healing." Alexis tells him.

He tilts his head a little, "What do you mean by messed up?"

"Well, I seem to transfer some extent of the injury I am healing to myself temporarily, and internal injuries heal faster on me, but not visible ones."

"Ah. That must have to do with you being mostly human. You would need to have much more angelic grace in you to be able to heal the way an angel can. I'm not even sure if it's possible. It may just be nephilim and angels themselves that can heal that way." Gabe explains to her.

"Nephilim?" she asks, not recognizing the word.

"Half human, half angel. They're forbidden, but some have existed."

"Oh."

"Can you extinguish the fire now?" he asks.

"Yeah. Thanks for telling me, even if I had to threaten you. Don't forget you still owe me that favor."

"That I do. You really know how to keep a guy waiting don't you?"

"I'm not going to waste my one angelic favor on just anything." she tells him.

"See, I like you. Most humans are rather annoying and insignificant. But you, you're interesting. I'd call you a triple threat really. You're most definitely gorgeous, but you're also incredibly smart, and could probably kick almost anything's ass. You're intriguing and complex, Alexis."

"Huh. No one's ever called me any of those things before. Most people see a pretty face and that's it. Or most hunters see me as weaker because I'm a girl. I do tend to use both of those things to my advantage though." Alexis says. "Well, I'll be seeing you, Gabriel. You owe me a favor, and I now can summon you." she tells him as she pours water on the fire.

"Goodbye, Alexis." Gabriel says and then disappears into thin air.

* * *

Alexis drove back to the motel completely lost in her thoughts. Her mind was racing with everything Gabriel had told her. At least she knew that her powers were not evil and now knew why she could see angel's wings. _I have angel grace in me and Sam has demon blood in him. My powers are holy and his came from hell. Holy hell, literally_ she thought as she slightly laughed to herself. _Can things get any weirder? _By the time she pulled into the motel parking lot, it was almost three am. She just hoped Sam hadn't woken up.

As she walks towards the room, she knew he had, judging by the light peeking out of the shades. _Shit. _She opens the door and Sam is immediately on his feet and walking towards her.

He grabs her shoulders and asks, "Are you okay? Where the hell were you? You scared me half to death, Lex!"

She hadn't meant to worry him, she had hoped he wouldn't have even noticed she left. "I'm fine, Sam. Didn't you see my note?" she asks.

"Yeah, an hour ago! Where the hell did you go?"

"I just drove around for a while okay? I'm sorry that I worried you, I didn't want to." Alexis says. She hated lying to him, but Gabriel had made it clear no one was to know about him or angels in general for that matter, at least not yet, and she sure as hell wasn't going to cross an archangel who could obliterate her with the snap of a finger.

He accepts her answer and pulls her into a hug. "Just don't do that again, okay?" he says.

"Okay." she tells him.

"Get some sleep." he tells her, placing a kiss on her forehead. He goes to lay back down and she follows suit, turning off the light before slipping into bed next to Sam.

* * *

They were up and back in the car around 9:15 and made it back to Chicago a little after noon. The two ended up pulling in at the same time as Dean and Jo did as they ran into each other in the lobby.

"Why are you out of bed?" Dean asks before Jo could.

"Long story. I'm fine, okay? We'll explain upstairs."

"Okay…" Dean says.

"Well where were you two then?" Jo asks.

"Kansas." Sam says.

"What?!" their older siblings ask.

"We went to Lawrence to visit Missouri."

"And no one bothered to fill us in on that?" Dean asks.

"Sorry. You two were on a hunt anyway." Alexis says.

"Yeah, how'd that go by the way?" Sam adds.

"It was a changeling. Once we figured it out, it was pretty easy." Jo says.

"Changelings are disturbing, at least in my opinion." Alexis says.

"You've hunted one?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, once with Bobby."

They all nod and the four head for the elevator. When they enter the apartment, they all head for the living room. Dean and Jo briefly fill Ellen, Sam, and Alexis in on their hunt, and then Alexis and Sam explain everything that happened with the healing and Missouri. "Damn." was all Dean said, and Jo just gaped.

"Just another day in the life." Alexis says.

"Apparently." Jo says.

"So, anyone hungry? I could go for some food." Dean says.

"You could always go for food, Dean." Jo says.

"Let's all go for lunch." Alexis says.

They ended up at Corner Bakery. Afterwards, Jo had gotten a call about a hunt, and she and Ellen decided to go check it out. Then it was just the Winchesters and Alexis. It was around four that her mother and sister had left, so Alexis decided to go for a swim.

"I think I'm going to go swimming." she says.

"I'll come." Sam tells her.

"What about you, Dean?" Alexis asks him.

"Nah, you two go. I'm going to shower and watch some tv or something." Dean tells them.

"Okay."

Alexis changes into a simple mint green bikini and meets Sam in the foyer. Since it was May, the outdoor pool had been opened so the two headed there.

"It's empty." Sam states upon seeing the pool.

"It's a weekday and an off time for most people that live in the building I guess. A lot of people are still at work."

She walks over to one of the tables to set her towel down and pull her cover up off. Seconds later Sam had picked her up and was moving towards the pool.

"Sam! Don't!" she exclaims.

He just smirks and throws her into the pool, jumping in after her.

"Oh, you're dead."

She swam after him, jumped onto his back, and dunked him underwater. They swam after each other splashing and laughing for a while until they both got tired.

"Hot tub?" Sam asks.

"Sure." she says, swimming towards the ladder.

Alexis had sat down next to Sam in the hot tub, but he pulled her onto his lap so she was facing him.

"This is nice." Sam says.

"Yeah." she says.

"You're itching to hunt again aren't you?" he asks with a laugh.

"Yes!" Alexis exclaims. She then starts tracing his anti-possession tattoo with her finger. "You know, this is the first time I'm seeing this." she tells him. "Did Dean get one too?" she asks.

"Yeah, better safe than sorry." Sam says.

"Yeah, being possessed is not fun." she says.

"No, its not." he agrees.

"You know, now we're technically one of those couples with matching tattoos." Alexis says.

Sam laughs and says, "Yeah, I guess we are."

They sat there in silence until Sam asks, "How'd you get this scar?" He brings his finger up to the tiny scar right at the corner of her right eye.

"Oh, that. Well I was about 5 and Matt, Jo, and I were playing hide and seek tag in some wooded area. I was running away from Matt when I tripped and a stick cut me there, just barely missed my eye. It looked worse than it was, I remember Matt freaking out. I was 5 and the one that had blood gushing from the corner of her eye, and he was 15, yet he was the one panicking. He was like that anytime Jo or I got hurt."

Sam laughs a little and says, "I know what you mean."

They sat there studying each other for a few minutes when a smirk appears on Alexis' face.

"What?" Sam asks.

"Oh, nothing." she responds in an overly innocent voice.

Before he knew it, she had leaned forward and put her hands behind his head, pulling some of his hair back into a very small ponytail. "Now we have matching ponytails too!" she says, barely containing her laughter.

He gives her his best bitch face and it just causes her to laugh even more. He couldn't stop his face from breaking out into a smile, her laughter was contagious.

"Race you to the pool!" she says, getting up.

She was about to jump in when Sam grabbed her from behind. "I don't think so." he says, throwing her over his shoulder and walking towards the deeper end of the pool.

"Why do you have to have such long legs?" she asks.

He just laughs as he yet again throws her into the pool and jumps in after her. They spent a total of two hours at the pool before heading back up, knowing Dean would soon want food, again.

* * *

They ordered pizza and all crashed in the living room watching V for Vendetta. After the movie, Dean went to bed. Sam had gotten up to go the bathroom and Alexis walked over to the guitar that she hadn't played since her birthday. She sat down and played the starting of one of her favorite songs. Sam had walked out moments later.

"You should sing something." he tells her. She restarts the song she had been playing, this time singing too.

"_Breathe in, hold it hold it_

_Go on, begin_

_To let go, cause there's no reason_

_I'm turning myself into somebody else_

_Calm down, calm down, calm down_

_I'm holding a heart here in my hand_

_Hey, hey, hey_

_My own work of art here where I stand_

_Hey, hey, hey_

_Give in, it's so hard to start_

_Live in my skin_

_The bruises are useless_

_Against it_

_I'll try all I can to find a soft place to land_

_Calm down, calm down, calm down_

_I'm holding a heart here in my hand_

_Hey, hey, hey_

_My own work of art here where I stand_

_Hey, hey, hey_

_Stand up straight, hey_

_Stand up straight, hey_

_Stand up straight, hey, hey_

_Stand up straight, hey, hey_

_Breathe in, hold it_

_I'm holding a heart here in my hand_

_Hey, hey, hey_

_My own work of art here where I stand_

_Hey, hey, hey_

_Hey, hey, hey, hey" _

She takes a deep breath after finishing before looking up at Sam. She still didn't really like playing in front of people.

"That was amazing, Lex. What was the song?" Sam says.

"Holding a Heart by Toby Lightman."

Sam nods and says, "You should sing more."

"Eh, I don't really like to play for people." Alexis tells him.

"Why not?" he asks.

"I'm not that good."

"Yes you are Lex!" he tells her.

She just shakes her head. "I'm going to get some sleep." she tells him, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I will too." Sam says and follows her into her bedroom.

She slips into bed and Sam lies down next to her.

"Night, Sam." she says, turning into him.

"Night, Lex." Sam says, draping one arm over her.

* * *

The next morning one of John Winchester's old cell phones went off in Dean's bag. Sam answers it, "Hello?" he asks. "Yes, this is Edgar Casey. No, no, no, no don't call the police, I'll handle this myself. You know, can you just ah, can you just lock it back up for me? Great, um, I don't have my book in front of me, do you, do you have the address? Right, thanks a lot." Sam says and then hangs up.

He looks to Dean and asks, "Dad ever tell you he kept a container at a storage place?"

"What?" Dean asks.

"Outside of Buffalo?" Sam says.

"No way."

"Yeah, and someone just broke into it." Sam tells his older brother.

"So, Buffalo then?" Alexis asks.

The brothers exchange a look, wondering if she should come, but they quickly realize she wouldn't let them leave her behind, so Sam turns to her and says, "Guess so. Let's hit the road."

They were on the way to Buffalo twenty five minutes later.

* * *

_A/N: So the hunt that I had Dean and Jo go on is episode 3x2, with Lisa, Ben, and the changelings. I just had it be Jo and not Sam. I'm going to move Ruby's conversation with Sam to 3x3 instead. The next chapter will cover 3x3, the rabbit foot and Bela's first episode. Let me know what you think of this chapter! I incorporated the song that I actually titled this story after. Give it a listen if you want. _

_(The day this chapter ends on is May 23rd, 2007.) _


	12. Lucky Day

_A/N: Some of the dialogue is directly from the episode, but some I cut, not wanting to simply be repeating everything. I did my best to add Alexis in, and I also moved the two scenes with Ruby and Sam in episode 3x2, the changeling episode, to this one. I hope you like it!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anyone in it, I wish I did. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Lucky Day**

They pull into the parking lot of the storage unit after a rather long and mostly silent drive.

"Do you want me to stay in the car? I don't have to go up." Alexis tells the brothers. This was their father's stuff, she didn't need to go up.

"Nah. You should come up." Dean tells her, opening the car door.

She shrugs and opens her door also.

Once they open the door to the unit, they spot the markings on the floor along with footprints. "No demons allowed." Sam says.

"Blood." Dean observes as he spots a trip wire. "I got two sets of boot prints here. Looks like it was a two man job."

"So what exactly is this place?" Alexis asks. "Did he do work here or something?" she adds.

None of them knew what to think of the place. They walk further into the place and Dean spots an old soccer trophy that Sam had gotten. The two brothers find some other childhood things that they had no idea John had kept. They then spot another door and head in to check it out. John had kept a collection of weapons there. Land mines, grenades, guns, knives, etc.

"I guess they knew what they were after." Dean says.

Sam spots boxes with symbols on them and says, "Guys, check this out. See these symbols? That's binding magic. These are cursed boxes."

"Cursed boxes?" Dean says.

"They're supposed to keep the evil hoodoo stuff in right?" Alexis says.

"Yeah, they're built to keep the power of the object in." Sam tells them.

"One box is missing." he adds and Dean and Alexis turn to see the vacant spot on the shelf.

"Great." Alexis and Sam say at the same time.

"Well, maybe they didn't open it." Dean says.

"Yeah, and maybe the sky is falling." Alexis adds, voice dripping with sarcasm. "If they were dumb enough to break in here and take a cursed box, they're dumb enough to open it."

The two brothers shoot her a look and Sam says, "Let's just find it."

* * *

They managed to track the thieves to an apartment building through the plates on a security camera. Soon, they had picked the lock to the apartment and were in. The three walked in, guns in hand, ready to shoot if needed.

They enter the living room where there are two guys. "Freeze! Nobody move!" Dean says, then adds, "Give us the box. Please tell me that you didn't-"

"Oh they did." Alexis says, spotting the open box on the table and what looks to be a rabbit's foot nearby.

"You opened it?!" Dean says, pushing one the guys up against the wall, holding him at gunpoint.

"Are you guys cops?" the man asks, visibly startled.

"What was in the box?" Dean demands. He turns to look at the table and spots the rabbits foot. "Oh, that was it, wasn't it?" Dean asks, turning back to the man.

The man takes advantage of Dean's attention being off of him and pushes Dean back, knocking the gun out of his hand, which fires, and ricochets, hitting Sam's gun, then a wall, then Alexis' gun, and finally a lamp. The three were now all without guns. Dean was pushed into a table and Alexis was thrown into the corner of the wall, hitting her head rather hard, and then Sam was tackled to the ground. One of the men knocked Dean in the head with a gun once he had stood up as the other began to choke Sam. Alexis couldn't see straight, she didn't trust herself to use her powers, not around a rabbits foot and with fuzzy vision, so she tried to get up from the corner, but just as she was standing, Sam had managed to grab the rabbits foot and kick the guy off of him, and the guy flew back into Alexis, knocking her back down, this time with a man on top of her.

"I got it!" Sam says just as the other man brings a gun, Dean's gun, to him and says, "No you don't."

He tried to shoot, but the gun had jammed. Alexis had managed to knock the guy out who was on her with the butt of a gun that was in reach, but she was still trapped underneath him. The man holding Sam at gunpoint backed up when he realized the gun wouldn't shoot, and tripped over something, falling backwards. The brothers just stare at each other, not sure what had just happened.

"A little help here?" Alexis asks.

The brothers spot her in the corner with the other man slumped on top of her and immediately rush over. "Are you okay?" Sam asks her, eyes searching her body for any injury as Dean pulls the man off.

"I think so. Vision's a little fuzzy because I hit my head pretty damn hard but I'm fine." she tells them, grabbing Sam's hand as he pulls her up.

"Let's get out of here." Dean says.

Dean had stopped to buy some things and Alexis and Sam tried to find something on it in John's journal, but came up with nothing. So Sam turned his attention to Alexis.

"You said you hit your head pretty hard, you could have a concussion, Lex." he tells her.

"Sam, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Do you feel okay?" he continues, rattling off more questions.

"Sam. I'm fine. I don't have a concussion. I've had them before, I know the signs. I'm okay, stop worrying." Alexis told him.

Sam was about to say something else when Dean returns with scratch off lottery tickets.

"Dean, come on." Sam says.

"Come on Sam, scratch and win." Dean tells him.

"It's gotta be cursed somehow, otherwise Dad wouldn't have locked it up." the younger Winchester says.

"$1200. You just won $1200." Dean says, looking at the ticket.

They then all get out of the car and Sam calls Bobby while Dean sorts through winning tickets. When Sam gets off the phone, he explains what Bobby told him. Once you lose the object, you're dead within a week because the luck turns bad. Bobby had said he'd look through his library for a way to break the curse.

The three head into a Biggerson's for some food as Dean says, "Don't worry, Bobby will find a way to break it."

They walk up to the worker and Sam says, "Hi, table for three please."

The man looks at them with a huge smile and says, "Congratulations!" as bells go off and they're handed a huge check. "You're the one millionth guest at the Biggerson's restaurant!" Confetti and balloons cascade down onto them as workers snap pictures and sing.

As Dean eats desert, Sam and Alexis search the internet for stuff on the rabbits foot. "Bobby's right. It's pure hoodoo." she says.

A waitress walks over and begins to fill up Sam's cup, but overfills it and she cleans it up, leaning way too close to Sam. Sam reaches for his cup and spills it so he jumps out of his seat, colliding with a waiter. He turns to Dean and Alexis with a shocked look on his face.

"How is that good?" Dean asks.

Sam immediately checks his pocket and find it empty.

"Son of a bitch." Dean says, as he and Alexis move to get out of the booth.

The three run out the front and almost immediately Sam face plants on the ground. Alexis turns to help him up as Dean states, "Wow, you suck."

"So what, now your luck turns bad?" she asks.

"I guess." Sam says.

"Wonder how bad." Dean mutters.

* * *

The three head back to the apartment of the two men who had stolen the box in the first place. They needed to find out who wanted it. Alexis and Dean step forward as Sam stays back towards the door. Dean explains what they knew and that they needed to know who hired them. Sam starts to say something as he moves to step forward, but he trips over a cord and falls, taking a lamp down with him.

"Sam, you okay?" Dean asks as Alexis struggles to contain the laughter building up. She found something about seeing a giant 6'4 hunter be taken down by the smallest things utterly hilarious. She knew it was bad, but couldn't seem to help it.

"Yeah, I'm ok." Sam says as he pulls himself up.

Dean gets a call from Bobby as the three leave the apartment. Alexis was close enough to hear the "He what?" come from Bobby when Dean told him that Sam had lost the rabbit foot.

While Dean was on the phone, Alexis notices Sam acting weird. "Sam?" she asks.

He stands up from over a grate with the look of a kicked, dejected, puppy on his face and announces, "I lost my shoe."

Alexis has to clasp her hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing. Once Dean gets off the phone, they head back to the car.

"So, some girl named Bela stole the rabbits foot? How do we find her?" Alexis asks as they pile into the Impala.

"Bobby's checking on that. Let's head to a motel or something before Sammy loses more than a shoe." Dean says.

Bobby had called Dean back, saying his sources said Bela lived in Queens.

Dean pulls into a motel, saying, "You are staying here. I don't want your bad luck getting us killed." Dean tells Sam to sit right in the middle of the room and not move.

"What about me?" Alexis asks.

"I'm not going to be able to convince you to stay here, am I?" Dean says.

"Not a chance." she tells him.

"Fine. Let's go." Dean says, heading out the door.

Alexis turns and gives Sam a kiss on the cheek. "Don't get yourself killed, okay? Because if you do, I can't do more of this." she tells him, giving him a kiss on the lips this time.

"I'll try not to." Sam says.

"See you soon, Sam." she tells him as she turns to walk out the door.

As Alexis gets into the car with Dean, she says, "You know. I've always loved New York. Let's find the bitch, get the foot and destroy it and maybe we can stick around another day or so."

Dean turns to her and asks, "What, do you just love cities or something? I mean, Chicago, New York, what's next L.A.?"

"Actually, I'm not a fan of L.A." she tells him.

"Of course not." he says with the shake of his head, and then pulls out of the motel parking lot, heading for Queens.

Once they get there, the two sneak into Bela's apartment unnoticed and Alexis sneaks off to find the rabbits foot as Dean distracts Bela. Dean and Bela move further into the apartment, each holding the other at gunpoint. The two stand talking as Alexis appears behind Bela, gun pointed at her with one hand, rabbit's foot held in a cloth in the other.

"You know, it's a smart plan, I guess. But there's a few flaws. Hunters don't like thieves." she says as Bela spins to face her, clearly caught off guard. "I think we'll be going now." Alexis says.

"Oh, I don't think so." Bela says, gun now aimed on Alexis.

"Really? Because I do."

She tosses the rabbits foot to Dean as she quickly kicks Bela's gun out of her hands and away from her. "Now, I have a gun and you don't. Great doing business with you, don't come again soon." Alexis says, walking past a gaping Bela. Dean and Alexis run out the door before Bela could catch up. Unfortunately, Dean had caught the rabbit's foot with his bare hands.

The older Winchester and Alexis return to the motel to find two men standing in front of Sam, who was duct taped to a chair.

"This is destiny." the man with the gun says, pointing it at Sam.

"Woah, no. No destiny, just a rabbit's foot." Dean says, pointing his gun at the two men as Alexis does the same.

"Put the gun down son, you too little lady, or you two will be scraping brain off the wall."

"Oh, I don't think we will." Alexis says.

Dean sets his gun down, motioning for Alexis to do the same. "You see, there's something about me that you don't know." Dean says, picking a pen up off the table.

"Yeah? What would that be?" the man with the gun asks, turning to Dean.

"It's my lucky day." he says as he tosses the pen towards the gun and it lodges itself into it.

"Oh my god, did you see that shot?" Dean says.

The other man charges for Dean and Alexis, but they both side step him.

"I'm amazing." the older brother says as he tosses a remote at the man's head, knocking him out. "I'm batman."

"Yeah, you're batman." Sam says as Alexis moves to get him out of the chair.

They get Sam cleaned up and Dean stops to buy some more lottery tickets before they head to a cemetery to destroy the rabbit's foot. Before they could, Bela shows up with her gun.

"I think you'll find that belongs to me." she says.

Alexis rolls her eyes and says, "You again? Seriously?"

"Put the foot down, honey."

"No, you're not going to shoot anybody." Dean says.

Alexis feels like smacking him, "Dean, you don't say that to a girl with a gun that's aimed at you."

Sure enough, Bela turns and shoots Sam in the shoulder.

"Sam!" Alexis exclaims, moving towards him.

"Son of a-" Dean starts, moving forward, but Bela cuts him off, "Back off tiger. You make one more move and I'll pull the trigger. You've got luck Dean, you I can't hit. But those two, especially your brother, I can't miss."

"The hell is wrong with you? You don't just go around shooting people like that!"

"Relax. It's a shoulder hit, I can aim." Bela tells him, adding, "Besides, who here hasn't shot a few people."

_Good point. If she hadn't just shot Sam and stolen the foot, I'd probably actually like her, or at least relate to her _Alexis thinks to herself as she helps pull Sam's jacket off.

"Put the rabbit's foot on the ground now." Bela commands.

"Alright! Alright, take it easy." Dean says, leaning to set the rabbit's foot down. But before he does, he says, "Think fast." tossing it to Bela, who catches it bare handed.

He stands up and smirks at her as Bela mutters, "Damn."

"Now, what'd you say we destroy that ugly ass piece of dead thing?"

* * *

They get rid of the foot and Bela leaves, but not without swiping Dean's lottery tickets. They end up spending the night somewhere outside of New York City. The next day, Sam and Alexis had gone to lunch while Dean went to a bar. She had gotten up to go to the bathroom, and when she walks out, there's some blonde chick sliding into the bench across from Sam. _What the hell?_ she thinks, walking over to the table.

He looks up, recognition and slight fear in his face. "Hello, Sam." she says as Alexis reaches the table.

"Who the hell are you?" Alexis asks.

"Who the hell are you?" the blonde says, answering her question with another.

"She's my girlfriend." Sam says, scooting over so Alexis can sit next to him.

"You're turn." Alexis says.

"You've been following me?" he asks her as she grabs a fry from his plate.

"Not much gets by you. Mm, these are amazing, its like deep fried crack." the girl states.

Alexis was lost, clearly they'd met before and she hadn't heard about it. "

That knife you had, you can kill demons with that thing?" Sam asks.

"Sure comes in handy when I have to save the damsel in distress." the blonde retorts.

She then proceeds to pour most of the container of ketchup onto a plate as Sam asks, "Why are you following me?"

"I'm interested in you."

"Why?"

"Because you're tall. I love a tall man."

Alexis just glares at her.

"And then there's the whole antichrist thing."

"Excuse me?" Sam asks.

"You know, generation of psychic kids, yellow eyed demon rounds you up, celebrity death match ensues. You're the sole survivor." she says, taking a sip of a drink that had been at the table.

"How do you know about that?" Alexis asks, finally speaking up.

"I'm a good hunter." she states. _Hunter, yeah right. I don't buy that for a minute _she thinks to herself. "So, yellow eyes had some pretty big plans for you, Sam." the blonde continues, leaning back into the bench.

"Had being the key word." Sam says.

"Oh yeah, he's dead. Doesn't change the fact that you're special." Sam tries to tell her his visions had stopped, but she continues nonetheless. "Well, I'm thinking you're still a pretty big deal. I mean after all that business with your mom."

That caught them both by surprise. "What about my mom?" Sam asks.

"You know, what happened to her friends?" Then, seeing no recognition on his face, she states, "You don't know. You've got a little bit of catching up to do, my friend." The blonde grabs his hand to write her number on it. Alexis felt like smacking her, who the hell was she? "So why don't you look into your mom's pals, and then give me a call, and we'll talk again." she says, standing up and walking away.

"What the hell was that?" Alexis asks after the blonde left the restaurant.

Sam explains the encounter he had with her shortly after the gate to Hell had been opened.

"Oh. Damn." Alexis says.

"Yeah, let's go back to the motel and look into my mom's friends." Sam says, standing up.

Alexis and Sam spend their time making calls and researching all of Mary Winchester's family and friends only to discover they were all dead. Sam calls the blonde and she shows up at the motel.

"So what's your deal?" Sam asks.

"I've already told you. I'm just a-" she begins, but is cut off by Sam.

"Oh right, just some hunter who happens to know more about my own family than I do?" he pauses, then says, "Just tell me who you are."

She looks downward and says, "Sam…"

"Just tell me who you are." Sam says, moving closer.

"It doesn't matter." the blonde says.

He was practically in her face now, shouting, "Just tell me who you are!"

Alexis was on the bed, watching the scene play out, ready to make a move if needed.

"Fine." she says and then her eyes flash black. Sam backs up, reaching for his bag, as Alexis stands up, reaching to pull out her gun with the bullets engraved with devil's traps.

"Think twice before going for that holy water or gun." the blonde demon says.

"Just give me one reason I should." Sam says, moving so Alexis was slightly behind him.

"I'm here to help you, Sam." She continues to say that she wants to help and asks Sam to trust her. _She wants him to trust her? A demon? Really? _Alexis thinks to herself. Sam pulls out his flask of holy water and demands that she start talking. She claims all she knows about what happened with the demon is that it's all about Sam.

"They're trying to cover up what he did to you, and I want to help you figure it out." The demon goes on to say that if Sam lets her help, there's something in it for him. "I could help you save your brother." she tells him, then brushes past him, throwing a "Think about it." over her shoulder.

After she leaves, Alexis and Sam just stare at each other, shocked. "A demon wants to help us, well you. What the fuck?" Alexis says.

Sam says nothing.

"What're you going to do? We can't trust a demon, Sam."

"I don't know, Lex. But if she can help save Dean, maybe we have to see what she can do. I'm not thinking trust her, I'm thinking use her."

"I don't know Sam…" Alexis says, then asks, "Are you going to tell Dean?" when he doesn't answer her or even look at her she asks, "Sam?"

"I will, just not right away, ok? Give me some time." he says.

"Whatever you say." she says, walking over to lay down on the bed.

A few minutes later Sam joins her. "I can't let Dean go to Hell, Lex. I can't."

"I know." she says sitting up slightly and pulling his head into her lap. "We'll figure something out, alright? Even if that means using that demon." Alexis tells him, running her fingers through his hair.

Sam nods and closes his eyes, relaxing into her touch. Alexis sighs and leans her head against the bedrest, still running her fingers absentmindedly through Sam's hair. _This is going to get messy _she thinks to herself.

Dean returns about an hour later and neither of the two hunters had moved from their spots on the bed. Sam had actually fallen asleep, head still in Lex's lap, and Alexis had clicked on the tv.

"Are we going to hit the road today?" she asks as Dean walks into the room.

"Yeah, I think we will." Dean tells her.

"Can we stop back through Chicago? I want to drive my Camaro to Bobby's and leave it there if I'm going to be hunting with you guys. You can just drop me off and meet me at Bobby's in week or something if you want, I'm still fixing up that car I have at his place anyways." she tells Dean as he sits down on the other bed.

"Yeah, we can do that. But I think we'll head to Bobby's too unless a hunt comes up. So you are going to hunt with us?"

"Yep. Oh, but I do have two conditions. Sam already knows them, but one is more up to you anyway."

He slightly narrows his eyes at her, suggesting she continue.

"Well, one, I get to drive at least some of the time. I'm used to driving all the time, I can't go from that to not driving at all. Two, I'm also used to traveling alone, coming and going without having to tell people, so if I want to split for a week or meet a friend for a hunt or something like that, you two let me go."

Dean hesitates, but finally agrees. "Fine. But if you so much as scratch my baby, you lose any and all driving privileges." he firmly tells her.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say." she says with a laugh.

They sit in silence for a few minutes until Dean says, "We never finished our conversation from the hospital."

Alexis looks up at him and says, "We don't have to."

"Yes we do, Alexis. You can't let him try to get me out of this deal, he'll die. And that can't happen."

"I can't, Dean. I can't cross him on this. Because if I do, it's like I'm saying he's more important than you. He'd see it like I'm just letting you die. You're his older brother, Dean. He'd die if that meant you didn't go to Hell or die at all. Just like I would've died if it meant my big brother lived and I would die right now if someone were to make me choose between Jo or I living. You may be the older one, and think you have to protect him, keep him alive, even if it costs you your life, but I guarantee you he feels the same way. So no, Dean, I can't tell him not to help you. And if I can, I'm going to help him too. I don't want to see either of you die. And if one of you do, I know I'll lose you both anyway." Alexis explains to him and then turns her attention back to the younger Winchester, who was still sound asleep.

"We should hit the road if we're going back to Chicago." is all Dean says, moving to pack his things up.

Alexis leans down and places a kiss on Sam's forehead and says, "Sam, wake up. We're going to get going."

The three were packed and on the road a half an hour later.

* * *

_A/N: So that's the first real chapter based on an episode, let me know what you think! Should I do more of the episode ones or just do certain crucial episodes? They're quicker for me to write, but I personally don't like them as much. Let me know if you prefer more original stuff than episode related stuff. _


	13. The Harvelle Hunters

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, but I do own Alexis, Ellie, and Arizona. **

* * *

**Chapter 13: The Harvelle Hunters****  
**

They arrive in Chicago early the next morning as they had driven straight through. Dean got a call on their way in about a hunt and Alexis tells him and Sam that they should take it and then meet her back at Bobby's when they were done.

"Are you sure you want us to go without you? We can get someone else to cover the hunt." Sam tells her, sitting down on the couch. He didn't really want to be apart from her. It would be the first time they were apart for more than a day since the hospital back in Nebraska.

"I'm sure. You two go, do the hunt, and then head to Bobby's. I'll be there." Alexis tells him.

"I know, it's just the last time we were apart for a while, you nearly died." he says.

"Sam." she says sympathetically, moving closer to him. "I'm going to be okay. You're the one going on a hunt, I should be the one worried." she tells him. Seeing the look of true fear on his face, she sinks down to be eye to eye with him. She presses a small kiss to his lips and says, "Nothing is going to happen, to either of us. I'll call you everyday if you want."

Sam finally nods and lifts his hands to her head, pulling her in for a deeper kiss than the one she'd given him. "Call or text everyday." Sam tells her.

"I will. You call me if you end up needing an extra hunter." she tells him. She wasn't used to seeing him like this. He was actually scared. _Shit, _she thinks, realizing what she was missing. Sam had gone on a hunt with Dean for a weekend right before Jess died in a fire. Sam had been hunting with Dean without her when she almost died in a fire, and now he was going on a hunt with Dean without her for the first time since then. He was scared he'd walk out the door and never see her again.

"I'll be fine. I promise." she tells him, giving him another kiss and then standing back up. "You two should get going."

"Yeah, I guess so." Sam says, getting up from the couch. He pulls her into a hug and says, "Just be careful, okay?"

"I will. You be careful too." she says.

He and Dean leave five minutes later.

This was the first time since the hospital that Alexis had really and truly been alone. She ended up taking a nap and then going for a run. She spent the rest of her day cleaning up the apartment and getting rid of any food that would spoil. She stayed the night again, enjoying time to herself. The next day she ended up going and getting a pedicure and just being lazy. As she was packing her bag that night her phone rang. She reached for her phone and saw _Jo _flash across the screen.

"Hey, Jo." she answers.

"Hey little sis. Listen, mom and I are on a hunt in Tennessee and could use your help." Jo says.

"Tennessee? What's the hunt?" Alexis asks.

"We think it's a pair of Vetalas. We'd rather outnumber them than be matched. Especially since neither of us have hunted one before, have you?"

"I have, once. I was with Zac's uncle, Alec. You need a silver knife and they need to be stabbed in the heart but the knife has to be twisted once in it. Where in Tennessee are you?" she asks her older sister.

"We're just outside of Antioch."

"Okay. That'll take me at least eight hours if not more. I can get there sometime tomorrow morning." "

Okay. We'll crash in the motel tonight and just wait for you in the morning. I'll text you the address of the motel."

"Alright, see you when I get there, Jo."

"See ya soon little sister." Jo says and hangs up.

Looks like Alexis wasn't going straight to Bobby's after all. She needed to call him.

"Hello?" came the older hunters voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey, Bobby." she says, voice apparently giving her away.

Bobby immediately asks, "What're you up to, Alexis?"

"I'm not up to anything." she defends in an innocent voice.

"Yes you are. Now spill."

"Well, you see, um..."

"Alexis, stop stalling." he tells her.

"Well, um, Jo just called me. She said she and my mom could use me on a hunt."

"Let me guess. You're not coming right away but you don't want the Winchesters to know that, so you don't want me to say anything."

"Mostly. My mom and Jo found a couple of Vetalas in Tennessee. It shouldn't take more than two maybe three days and then I'll head straight to you. Just don't mention that I'm not there yet, please? If they ask directly if I'm there, tell them the truth. But if they just ask how I'm doing, tell them I'm fine. Technically, you're not lying. If I told them, one if not both of them would turn around and come with me. And I don't need them to."

"You and your technicalities. Alright, I'll do my best to make sure they don't find out you aren't here yet. Just be careful. Vetalas can be nasty." Bobby tells her.

"Thank you! See you in a few days." she says and hangs up.

She quickly packs up and gets into her car. She was on her way to Antioch.

* * *

She had only stopped twice during the drive so she made it to the motel her mother and sister were staying in by eight.

Before she could even knock, the door was thrown open and her sister greets her with a huge smile on her face. "You're here!" Jo exclaims.

"I'm here." Alexis says, wondering why Jo was so happy.

"Isn't this great? All three if us on a hunt together?" Jo says.

_Oh, that's why_. Alexis just shakes her head. "So, fill me in on the hunt." she says, walking into the room and plopping down on the bed.

Ellen and Jo fill Alexis in on everything they know.

"Okay, so you don't know where they are keeping their victims, but you know what one of them looks like." she summarizes.

"Basically."

"Alright, well generally they either wait until night to take new victims, or lead them to a secluded place. Typically if they do that, it's by seduction. A bar may be our best bet. If you two can spot the one you know, one or two of us can follow it back to where it keeps its victims." Alexis explains.

"Ok. So we can hit the most popular bar tonight and see what we find." Jo says.

"Sounds like a plan." Ellen says.

"Ok. Now on the off chance the other Vetala is male, Jo or I may want to be bait as a backup plan. They keep their victims alive for days, so we'd be fine. And then we could track which ever one of us was taken and immediately find the place." she says.

"I don't like it." her mother says.

"It's a back up plan. I can do it if we need to. We just need to be prepared." Alexis says.

Ellen relents, "Fine."

"Okay, well I'm going to get a few hours sleep if you don't mind." she says.

"Go ahead. We're going to get breakfast." Jo replies.

That night, Jo and Alexis dressed for the chance they'd need to be bait. Alexis wore a black crop top with a mostly black and white floral skater skirt. She threw on some boots and slipped a silver knife in one, let her hair down, applied some makeup, and was ready to go. Jo had gone with a patterned black and white crop top and a high waisted black skirt that she had borrowed from Alexis, put her hair in in a braid, put on some makeup, and also wore boots that she could slip a silver knife into.

"We almost look like two normal sisters going to a bar." Alexis states.

Jo laughs, "Yeah we do. But we both have silver knives in our boots."

"Oh well, this is more fun most of the time." she tells her older sister.

Jo nods in agreement. "Alright, let's go!"

Ellen takes in a separate car and enters after Jo and Alexis since they didn't all want to be seen entering together.

"So," Alexis begins to ask her older sister, "do you see the Vetala you know?"

"No, not yet."

The three Harvelles spend the next two hours scanning for the Vetala or anything suspicious and very lightly drinking. Finally, Jo spots the one she and her mother had seen before, and points it out to Alexis. "There, with that guy in the brown leather jacket and red hair." Jo says.

"Ok, let's follow them."

The three hunters managed to track the Vetala all the way back to their base. From what Alexis could tell, there were two Vetalas and two victims, living at least, plus the one they had just taken from the bar.

"Ok. You two sneak in the front, I'll sneak in the back." Alexis says.

"We shouldn't split up." her mother says.

"If they hear us, we're caught. They've got very keen senses and are very fast and strong. We have to catch them off guard."

"Fine." her mother and sister say.

This was weird. She was the youngest, but had been hunting the longest, so she was the one giving orders.

Sure enough, the Vetalas' heard Jo and Ellen and turned their attention to them, allowing Alexis to easily slip in the back. Jo had managed to kill one of them and the three hunters circled around the remaining Vetala. It lunged for Alexis, forcing her to the ground. She could feel blood coming from somewhere, but she wasn't sure where. She tussles with the Vetala for a minute before managing to stick her knife right in the heart and twist. Both Vetalas were dead and the three hunters were left with three living victims, Alexis could smell a corpse, she just couldn't see it.

Alexis quickly pushes herself up, forgetting the fact that she was bleeding, and jogs over to the youngest victim as Jo and her mother move to the others. She looked to be only 5 with brunette hair and a very scared look on her face.

"Hi sweetie, I'm going to get you out of here, okay?"

The girl nods.

"Were you here with someone?" she asks her. It wasn't common for Vetalas to take young victims.

"It killed my daddy." the girl says quietly and then launches herself at Alexis when she was free, holding on for dear life.

From what Alexis could tell, it didn't seem like the Vetalas had really fed off of her. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Can you tell me your name? Maybe we can find your mom." Alexis asks, standing up with the girl in her arms.

"Ellie Baker. My mama's name is Lydia." the little girl, Ellie, tells Alexis while still clinging to her.

"Okay, Ellie. I'm Lexi. We'll find your mom." Alexis tells her, heading outside.

"I know my address." Ellie suddenly tells Alexis as she was carrying her to the Camaro.

"You do? I can take you home then if you'd like instead of the hospital."

The little girl nods.

Alexis tells her mother and Jo to get the other two out of there in their car and she'd take care of Ellie.

As Alexis goes to put Ellie down, the girl begins to sob.

"Hey, hey, I've got to set you down so I can drive you home. Okay? You can wear my jacket if you want."

The girl sniffles but then nods and lets go of Alexis.

Alexis drives to the address Ellie had told her with her in the back seat, wearing the jacket Alexis had slipped on earlier. When she pulls into the driveway, she could tell something was wrong. Sure enough, when she walks up to the door, it was unlocked. She lifts Ellie up so she was facing away from the house and pulls out her gun. Alexis searches the house and discovers it is entirely empty. What she did find was sulfur and a ton of blood. _Demons and Vetalas? This poor family. _

"My mama's dead too, isn't she Lexi?" the little girl asks with a heart breaking look on her face.

"I'm afraid so, Ellie."

Ellie looks up at Alexis with tears in her eyes and asks, "Can I stay with you then?"

Alexis didn't have the heart to say no. Ellie reminded her too much of herself at that age. When she was just a bit older, she had learned about the supernatural after her dad died. "Yeah, you can, Ellie. Let's get some of your stuff and get out of here, okay?"

"Okay." the brunette responds, running towards her room after Alexis sets her down. The girl throws some of her clothes and toys into a bag, then walks into her mother's room and takes a locket and bracelet. With the saddest look Alexis was sure she'd ever seen, Ellie looks up at Alexis and says, "I'm ready to leave now."

The two walk out the door hand in hand sometime past one in the morning. Alexis planned on bringing Ellie back to the motel and then the next day bringing her to a retired hunter. She knew exactly who. Matt's best friend, Arizona, had reconnected with Alexis when she had started hunting. Arizona had lost her little sister three and a half years ago and had mostly stopped hunting the year after. Ellie would be good for her.

When she pulls into the motel, Jo and Ellen had already gotten back. Seeing that Ellie had fallen asleep, Alexis carries her inside.

"Um, Alexis, you're aware you have a sleeping girl attached to you right?" Jo asks as she walks through the door.

"Her mom was dead. Demons. There was no body but there was so much blood in the same spot, she has to be dead. I'm going to call Arizona in the morning and see if she'll take her in. But for now, she's staying with me." Alexis explains, setting the sleeping brunette down on the bed.

"Arizona? As in Arizona Carey? Matt's best friend?" Ellen asks.

"Yeah, her. She and I ran into each other soon after I started hunting and kept in touch. She doesn't hunt anymore though, not since Lea died." she tells her sister and mother.

"Oh, I didn't know about Lea." is all Ellen replies.

Alexis heads to the bathroom to clean up a few of the cuts she'd gotten and then goes to lie down next to Ellie. The little girl almost instinctually latches onto her, nuzzling into her side.

* * *

The next morning Jo and Ellen had left after making sure Alexis didn't need them and would be fine. Ellie was still asleep, so Alexis decides to call Arizona.

"Hey Lexi! Long time, no talk." Arizona's warm voice comes through on the other end of the line.

"Hey Zona." she says, calling her the nickname she'd come up with at four and couldn't quite say Arizona.

"What's up, Lex?"

"Well, how would you feel about taking in a little girl who just lost her parents?"

"I don't know, Lex."

"She's scared, Zona. Her mother was killed by demons and she saw her father killed by Vetalas. She has no place to go. I'd keep her with me if I could." Alexis pleads.

She hears Arizona sigh on the other end, "Alright. How old is she and how far are you from Atlanta?" she asks.

"I haven't asked, but she looks to be about 5. Her name is Ellie. And I'm about four or five hours from Atlanta, but I'll probably have quite a few stops. I'd say six hours is a good estimate. Thank you, Arizona." Alexis says.

"No problem, Lex. The house has been quite anyway. See you soon." Arizona says and then hangs up.

Alexis decides to let Ellie sleep a little longer and calls Bobby to explain everything. After being called an idjit and being told to be careful, Alexis hangs and turns to see Ellie had woken up and was staring at her, wide-eyed and curious.

Alexis explains to Ellie that she was going to take her to stay with a very nice lady. Ellie looks up at her and asks, with a frown on her face, "You're not going to stay with me?"

Alexis sits down next to her and says, "I can't, Ellie. See, there are evil things out there like what took you and your dad, and I help save people from them."

"So you're like a superhero?" she asks, face slightly lightening up.

"If you want to see it that way, I guess." Alexis says.

"Cool." the little girl says.

"And my friend that I'm taking you to, she used to do the same thing, so she's like a superhero too. You'll be safe, Ellie."

An hour later, they had packed up the Camaro and gotten breakfast, so they were on their way to Atlanta by 9:30. They only stopped four times during the drive, one being for lunch, and one for gas, so they made it to Atlanta around a quarter to four.

Arizona greets them warmly at the door and invites them inside. "It's good to see you, Lex." she says, hugging her.

The two had developed a sister-like relationship after everything with Matt and hunting.

"You too, Zona." she says.

"This must be Ellie." Arizona says, bending down to introduce herself, "I'm Arizona. Think you'll be okay staying here with me?" she asks the young brunette.

The girl hesitantly shakes her head.

Just then, a bark was heard and a small beagle came bounding into the hallway.

"You have a dog?" Ellie asks, face suddenly brighter than it had been a moment before. "

Mhm, her name is Summer." Arizona says, adding, "She's friendly, you can pet her if you want."

Ellie quickly runs to the dog and begins to pet it. Summer seemed happy with the attention. Arizona asks, well more commanded, that Alexis stay the night and drive to Sioux Falls in the morning. So that is what she did.

That night, her phone rings. _Sam _flashes across the screen. She hadn't actually talked to him since the day he and Dean had left on the hunt, only texted.

"Hello?" she answers, preparing to be yelled at.

"Where the hell are you?" Sam asks, sounding worried, not angry. "Bobby drove out to help finish this hunt and you weren't with him, he told us you hadn't gotten there yet. Where are you?" he rushes out. He was definitely freaking out.

"Sam, slow down. I'm fine. Some things came up, I'll be at Bobby's in two days."

Before she could continue, Sam cuts in, "Two days? Lex, where are you? What happened?"

"Look, its a long story. Jo had called me for help on a hunt in Tennessee, so I joined them. Then there was a complication you could say, so now I'm in Atlanta for the night. I'll leave for Bobby's tomorrow but it's a good eighteen or nineteen hour drive." Alexis explains.

"Complication? Are you okay?" he asks, voice still clearly worried.

"Sam, I'm fine. I'm sorry I worried you, I just didn't want you and Dean to turn around and come back because I was going on a different hunt." she tells him.

Sam lets out a breath that he apparently had been holding, "You should've just told me, Lex."

"I'm sorry. Look, I'm really tired and I have a ton of driving to do tomorrow, so I'm going to get some sleep. I'll see you back at Bobby's, okay?"

"Yeah, goodnight Lex." Sam says.

"Night, Sam." she says and hangs up.

Alexis walks into the living room and sees that Ellie had curled up next to Arizona on the couch and they had both fallen asleep. She clicks the TV off and puts a blanket over the two, then heads to bed herself.

The next morning she got up and ate breakfast with Ellie and Arizona before hitting the road. She was glad to see Ellie was quickly making herself at home, but she knew the little girl wasn't going to be okay for a while after what she had seen. Alexis hugged Ellie and Arizona goodbye and promised she'd visit when she was nearby, and then she was out the door and on her way to Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

* * *

She drove for twelve total hours before stopping for the night. 8 hours later, she was up and on the road.

Alexis finally pulls into Bobby Singer's house around five that night and spots the Impala and Bobby's truck, meaning they were all there. Sam must have heard her pull up because he was opening the door before Alexis could even knock. His eyes quickly search over her body, making sure she was okay, before he pulls her into a hug. "You scared me, you know that?" he tells her.

"I know. I'm sorry." she says as she pulls back.

"Just, don't do it again, ok?" he says before pressing a kiss to her lips.

"I won't." she tells him, kissing him back.

Then a voice comes from the doorway behind them, "Look who finally showed up." _Dean._ "I think you owe us an explanation, Bobby wouldn't say much." he tells her.

"Yeah, I guess I do." she says, moving towards the living room where Bobby was.

She sits down on the couch and Sam sits next to her. Bobby and Dean were in chairs across from them. Alexis explains everything with her sister, mother, the Vetalas, Ellie, and Arizona.

"Wow." is all Dean says. Bobby had already known most of it so he just nodded, and Sam repeats his brother's sentiment.

"Yeah. Well, now you two can tell me about your hunt."

They explain everything about the hunt and how Dean had ended up trapped with a demon, but they managed to kill two demons with the colt and got out. Alexis nods and says she was going to take a shower, she hadn't showered since before heading that bar on the hunt. Sam follows her up.

"You don't have to follow me around you know, unless you're planning on showering with me." she tells him.

"Well, I could do that…" he says with a smirk.

"Sam." she says, slightly laughing.

"I wanted to tell you that that demon showed up again, said her name is Ruby."

"Oh." Alexis says, yanking off her jacket and then sitting on the bed.

"What did she want?" she asks as Sam sits down next to her.

"Well, first, she apparently showed up here and helped Bobby fix the colt, and then went with him to find us. When I was packing and Dean was out, she came to 'congratulate me' for killing two demons. Still keeps dangling helping Dean. When I told her that, all she said was 'everything in it's own time, Sam.' Then she wouldn't explain why she was fighting on our side in this war, said she didn't have to justify herself to me. Then she said this war won't be easy, I'd have to do things that go against my 'gentle nature' and there would be collateral damage." He sighs and then adds, "I don't know what to do, Lex."

She scoots closer to him and squeezes his hand. "We'll figure it out. This Ruby demon has to have some ulterior motive, we just don't know what. But if she really can save Dean, we might want to see how this plays out." She pauses and then says, "I take it you told Dean."

Sam lays down and puts his head in her lap so he was looking up at her, "Yeah, but he didn't take it very well. Said one of us should have killed her right then and there and we shouldn't be messing around with his deal."

"Well, Dean doesn't scare me. If you think we should see what this whole working with a demon thing would entail, I'll go along with it. I trust you and your instincts, Sam. You've given me no reason not to."

"Thanks, Lex."

"What are girlfriends for if not to help you team up with demons and stop your brother from going to hell?" she says.

"Our lives are messed up." Sam states, slightly laughing.

"Yeah, you can say that again." Alexis sighs and says, "Well, I'm going to shower. I haven't since before the hunt. I'm pretty sure I even still have some dried blood on me."

At the word blood, Sam sits up and says, "What? You got hurt?"

She pulls off her shirt, leaving her in her sports bra, and says, "Just a few scratches, see? I'm fine."

His eyes are immediately drawn to the area with two butterfly bandages on it. "This one looks pretty bad." he says, running his fingers over it.

"It didn't need stitches, it's fine. I'll do my best to no longer wear crop tops on hunts." she tells him, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

His face scrunches up a little in confusion. "We went to a bar to see if we'd be able to spot them and track them back to where they were keeping their visions, and our backup plan was for Jo or I to be bait, especially if one was male, so we had to dress the part in case, hence the crop top. We didn't need bait though, don't worry."

"Oh." he says.

"Yep. Well, I'm going to shower now." she tells him and then walks into the bathroom.

* * *

The next morning Dean had announced he found a hunt in Maple Springs, New York. Alexis told them to go without her, she was going to stay at Bobby's and finally finish up the car she'd been working on with him. "You're sure?" both brothers had asked her. "Yeah, I'm sure. Go, finish the hunt, don't get yourselves killed, and then come back and pick me up." she told them. The Winchesters had left thirty minutes later. The brothers were gone about a week so Alexis managed to finish up the car, though she planned on asking Dean to check it over, she wasn't the best with cars so she wanted to be sure it was fine. It was Thursday afternoon and Alexis was making lunch for herself and Bobby when Sam called. "Hello?" she answered.

"Hey, Lex."

"What's up?"

"Well, we finished up the hunt today and should be heading back soon. But um, I just went after the crossroads demon that Dean had made the deal with." he admitted.

"What? Sam what happened?"

"She couldn't help or wouldn't, but uh, I killed her."

"Sam..." she trailed off.

"I know."

"Well, what's done is done. I'll see you two when you get back."

"Yeah. See ya, Lex."

"Bye, Sam." she said and then hung up.

The Winchesters didn't return until very early Sunday. Alexis had already been asleep, and when she woke up, she felt an arm around her. She turned her head and there was Sam sleeping right next to her. She looked at the clock, and seeing as it was only 7, she turned into Sam and fell back to sleep.

* * *

_A/N: I didn't really plan on turning this hunt with Jo and Ellen into a whole chapter or the character of Ellie, but it kind of just happened. I'll bring Ellie and Arizona back in sometime in the future chapters. I basically skipped over episode 3x4 and 3x5, but will be adding Alexis into 3x6, which will be next chapter. I'll also add her into 3x7, but will probably end up vaguely mentioning the hunts in 3x8 and 3x9. I'll pick up at 3x10 with more detail, as it's the episode where Bobby is in a coma and they have to use the dream root. Then of course, 3x11 is Mystery Spot. I'll cover that somehow and probably combine it with 3x12. If there's any episodes you really want to see Alexis added into in season 3, let me know! I also have no idea when Ruby actually revealed her name and couldn't seem to find it, so I just went with it being 3x5. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!_

_(Going to say this chapter ends on June 9th timeline wise.)_


	14. Spilled Blood

_A/N: Here__'__s the chapter based on the ghost ship episode. This chapter got to be over 5,000 words so I ended up stopping it at somewhat of a cliffhanger. The next chapter should make it up tomorrow or early the day after. I also know the song I used was not out at this point in time, but I felt it fit really well with Alexis. Hope you like it!_

_Going to place this as being July 13th. So there__'s about a 5 week jump from last chapter to here. They'll have done miscellaneous hunts in between. _

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the song "I Hate You Don't Leave Me" by Demi Lovato. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Spilled Blood**

**-Sam-centric POV-**

Sam woke up and, out of what has become a habit, turned over to Alexis, or where she should have been. The spot beside him was empty and cold, so she hadn't been there for a while. It was only 7:30 and Alexis usually wasn't up yet, and if she were, she'd typically just lay in bed until he woke up. _Though the past few days she has been awake before me, but still in bed. Weird, I wonder where she is _he thought. He got out of bed and pulled on some clothes then headed down to see where she was. He looked in every room he could think of, but still couldn't find her. Her car was still there, so she hadn't left. He walked into the kitchen to ask Bobby.

"Hey Bobby, have you seen Lex?" Sam asks.

"I haven't. She's probably in her room." the older hunter replies.

"No, she's not." he says.

"Not the room she sleeps in now, she's got a separate room that no one knows is even there, other than me that is."

"Like a secret room? Where is it?" he asks. _How does someone have a secret room? _

"Now if I told you it wouldn't really be a secret would it? See if you can find it yourself."

Sam spent the next forty minutes looking around the house, not so much to find Lex because he was worried, but to find her and the secret room because he was intrigued. He'd been here so many times in his life and yet he'd never known there was a hidden room. He found himself in the basement entirely stumped. He'd searched everywhere. When he was about to turn and head up the stairs, he noticed a bookcase that he hadn't before. He walked over to it, and sure enough, it slid open, revealing a room that Sam had never seen before.

"Lex?" he asks, walking in. He spots her on a round chair in the corner.

Her head snaps up, "Sam? Huh, I'm surprised you found this room."

"It only took me nearly forty minutes. How long have you had this room back here?" he asks her, eyes searching over the place. There looked to be a bed that folded into the wall, there was a piano and a guitar, a small desk, a mini fridge, the chair Lex was on, and a similar one near it.

"Since I was 16. I had been in the basement for some reason and found this room hidden behind those bookcases. It was mostly bare. The walls were plain, there was dust and spider webs, that old piano, and a few forgotten about boxes. I asked Bobby if I could fix the room up and he told me I could do what I wanted to it. That's how I spent that summer when I wasn't hunting." she explains.

He sits down next to her, motioning for her to continue.

"So, I cleaned it up. I painted the walls two different blues and bought a pretty big rug for in here. Then I rigged up a bed that folded into a spot on the wall and put these chairs in here. Bobby had an old beat up desk that he said I could use if I fixed it up, so I did. I replaced the top part and repainted it, and then I fixed up the piano and put a guitar in here too. The mini fridge I added a few months later. Then I decided the walls were too plain so I put up some old pictures in the shape of a heart over there." she says, pointing to the spot on the wall above the desk. "Then I made a painting with three different protection sigils on it, framed it, and then put that up too. Then I realized I needed some type of closet or dresser, so I changed up the area the bed pulls out from."

He looks over to where the bed folds out of and asks, "There's a closet behind there?"

"Go see for yourself." she tells him.

Sam gets up and walks over to the bed, pulling it out. Sure enough there was a space about three feet wide and four feet long in the wall. There were a few racks of clothing in there, a small dresser that barely fit against the back wall, and some shoes. "Wow."

"I spent a lot of time here when I wasn't hunting or couldn't. Like the time I broke my left arm." she tells him. "Bobby used to have to bribe me to come out of here, especially after I added the mini fridge." Alexis adds with a laugh.

He sits back down in the seat near her and asks, "So, how long have you been down here?"

"Few hours. I like to think down here or just be in the quiet and read or play music that no one can hear." she explains.

"You should play something." he suggests.

"You really want to hear something?" she asks.

"Yep."

Alexis sighs and says, "Fine." She walks over to grab the guitar then sits down on the piano bench and begins to play something from memory.

He didn't get to hear her sing often, but he loved it. Her voice was beautiful, not trained or anything, just natural. The song she began to play he didn't recognize, but the expression on her face showed him she felt what she was singing.

_"Hey, yeah yeah_

_I hate you, don't leave me_

_I feel like I can't breathe_

_Just hold me, don't touch me_

_And I want you to love me_

_But I need you to trust me_

_Stay with me, set me free_

_But I can't back down_

_No, I can't deny_

_That I'm staying now_

_'Cause I can't decide_

_Confused and scared_

_I am terrified of you_

_I admit I'm in and out of my head_

_Don't listen to a single word I've said_

_Just hear me out before you run away_

_'Cause I can't take this pain_

_I hate you, don't leave me_

_I hate you, don't leave me_

_'Cause I love when you kiss me_

_I'm in pieces, you complete me_

_But I can't back down_

_No, I can't deny_

_That I'm staying now_

_'Cause I can't decide_

_Confused and scared_

_I am terrified of you_

_I admit I'm in and out of my head_

_Don't listen to a single word I've said_

_Just hear me out before you run away_

_'Cause I can't take this pain, no_

_I'm addicted to the madness_

_I'm a daughter of the sadness_

_I've been here too many times before_

_Been abandoned and I'm scared now_

_I can't handle another fall out_

_I'm fragile, just washed upon the shore_

_They forget me, don't see me_

_When they love me, they leave me_

_I admit I'm in and out of my head_

_Don't listen to a single word I've said_

_Just hear me out before you run away_

_'Cause I can't take this pain_

_No, I can't take this pain_

_I hate you, don't leave me_

_I hate you, please love me"_

When she finishes and looks back at him, he sees a flash of pain on her face, but it's gone instantaneously, hidden behind a mask.

"I love hearing you sing." he tells her.

"Yeah, don't get used to it." she replies.

"Why not? You're good, Lex."

"I just don't play for people often." she tells him, her expression putting the subject to rest. Something told him there was more to it, but he wasn't going to push her on it.

"So, why were you down here so early anyway?"

"Just couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake you, so I came down here to read."

He was going to ask her why she couldn't sleep, sensing there was something behind that too, but his phone rang. "Dean's calling me." he states with an odd expression and then answers his phone, "Dean?"

"Sammy where are you?"

"At Bobby's... where are you?"

"At Bobby's. I looked everywhere and there's no you or Lex to be found! I found a hunt. Wherever the hell you two are, just come to the kitchen." Dean says.

"Be right there." Sam says and then hangs up. "Dean found a hunt."

"Let's go then." Alexis says.

* * *

Dean explained to the two younger hunters that he had found a hunt in New York and they needed to get going soon as it was a 'long ass drive'. The three were on the road by 9:30. They'd gotten about nine hours of driving before stopping for the night. Dean headed to a bar, saying he would be back in the morning, leaving just Alexis and Sam in the motel. The couple sat and watched TV for a while before going to bed. It was around 4 am when Sam heard a scream and was immediately woken up.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

She was dreaming, she knew that. This dream, well nightmare, has been reoccurring ever since the fire, but has been progressively getting worse. Alexis was standing right outside Harvelle's Roadhouse, which was on fire. She swung open the door and walked inside. Everything around her was on fire. She saw Ash, Jo, her mother, Bobby, and the Winchesters on fire and she couldn't stop it, no matter how hard she tried. Typically, it ended there. This night, the scenery changed and Alexis was standing in a graveyard, and all around her were tombstones engraved with names of everyone she loved. Her father, her mother, Jo, Matt, Dean, Sam, Ash, Zac, Alec, Ryan, Jake, Arizona, John, Bobby, everyone. Even little Ellie was on one. Alexis wasn't scared of much, spiders and bees freaked her out sure, but what she was utterly terrified of was losing those she loved. So standing amongst all those graves, that's when she screamed. Suddenly she wasn't in the graveyard anymore, she was awake and being shaken by a very concerned boyfriend.

"Lex! Lex, wake up!" Sam was saying.

She realizes she had actually screamed and woken him up, exactly what she had been avoiding the past few days at Bobby's. She hadn't even intended to fall asleep, but she did anyway. She realizes she was shaking as Sam wraps his arms around her.

"Hey, it's ok. It was just a bad dream." he tells her, pulling her into him. "Shh, go back to sleep. I've got you, you're safe." Sam says, adjusting himself so her head was on his chest and his arms were wrapped around her.

She couldn't go back to sleep, so she just laid there listening to his heart beat for a few hours until Sam woke up again.

Once Sam woke up, she quickly heads into the bathroom to shower before he could ask her about her nightmare. She was hoping he'd forget about it, but that wasn't likely. She showers quickly, runs her fingers and a towel through her wet hair, and throws on some clothes, then heads back out to the room. Sam had left a note saying he'd gone for breakfast and would be back soon. She pulls out an energy drink that she had stuck in the small fridge the night before and sits down on the couch, clicking on the TV.

Sam returns fifteen minutes later and frowns slightly as he spots her energy drink. He sets down the bag he was carrying and walks over to the couch, sitting down next to her. He hands her a chocolate chip muffin and says, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She doesn't look at him as she takes the muffin and answers, "No."

"Is that why you haven't been sleeping much?"

Alexis shrugs, not saying anything.

"Lex, talk to me."

"It's nothing, Sam."

"It's not nothing if it wakes you up in the middle of the night screaming." he tells her, worry lines evident on his face.

She brings her eyes to his and immediately regrets it. _Those damn big brown puppy dog eyes. _"I thought I had it under control, I didn't mean to wake you. I didn't even mean to fall asleep." she says, the last part barely above a whisper.

"You haven't been sleeping at all?" he asks, slightly taken aback.

"Not really since you two came back from that fairytale hunt." she tells him honestly.

"Lex, that was days ago. You need to sleep."

She shrugs again and reaches for her energy drink, but Sam grabs it first. "No more energy drinks, you need actual sleep. Now maybe if you tell me what the nightmare was I can help you." he says, moving the half empty drink out of her reach.

"It started out as the day of the fire, has since I woke up in the hospital. At first it was me walking in there and seeing Ash and my mom burning alive. Then it was Ash, Jo, my mom, Bobby, you, and Dean. Last night it progressed from that to where I was standing in a graveyard surrounded by tombstones of anyone I ever loved or cared about. That's when I woke up screaming." she finally explains, trying to will away the tears beginning to form.

"Lex..." he begins, moving to pull her closer to him.

She leans into him and rests her head on his shoulder.

"I wish you would've told me when they started." he says, wrapping his one arm around her shoulder. "You can talk to me about anything, you know that right? It might help the nightmares go away too." Sam tells her.

She nods against his shoulder.

"When Dean gets back and we leave, I'm going to sit in the back with you and you're going to get some sleep." he says.

Alexis nods again and reaches for the muffin Sam had brought her.

Thirty-five minutes later Dean had gotten back and they were all in the car. Dean in front, Sam and Alexis in back. When Sam got in he pulled her over to him, set a pillow that he had lifted from the motel in his lap, and motioned for her to lay her head there and sleep. She gave him a small smile and did just that.

**-Sam-centric POV-**

"So why are you sitting back there again?" Dean asks.

"Apparently she hadn't slept since we got back from that last hunt until last night, and when she slept last night she woke up screaming. So I cut her off from energy drinks and told her she needed to get some sleep and I'd sit back here with her."

Dean nods and says, "Nightmares?"

"Yeah."

"We don't really know much about her, Sammy. We know recent stuff, but she has a whole past that we don't know. Who knows the things she's seen and gone through? Even the things we do know about are bad, Zac, her dad, her brother, Ash, and the fire." Dean says.

"Yeah. I feel like there's a lot there. Even things her mom and Jo don't know. I mean you and I have almost always had each other. She's relatively been on her own since she was 16." he tells his older brother, gazing down at the sleeping girl in his lap.

"I don't know if she's like this with you, but she's always so guarded. Something, or things, had to have caused that. Really the only time I've seen behind that emotionless mask was her birthday when I took her to Zac's grave." the older Winchester says.

Sam nods, knowing exactly what his brother meant. "Yeah, she's not as guarded as she used to be with me. But she still is, sometimes I can actually see the change in her face. Going from a true emotion to nothing in the blink of an eye. I want to ask her about it, but I don't want to push her."

"Give her time, Sammy. We've only known her since September, she'll open up more, at least to you." Dean says.

"Yeah." He hoped she would. There were things she didn't know about him, but there was more he didn't know about her.

Alexis slept through the whole drive and was still asleep when they pulled into the driveway of the house they were going to squat in. Sam carries her in and lays her down on a blanket on the couch.

"I'm going to go get some food, want anything?" Dean asks him.

"Um, just get two grilled chicken sandwiches and some fries, she'll probably be hungry too when she wakes up. And she eats more fries than you do sometimes." Sam says with a small laugh.

"And yet she's still tiny." Dean says with a laugh of his own and heads out the door.

Alexis woke up soon after Dean left. "How long did I sleep?" she asks Sam as she rubs her eyes.

"About nine hours." Sam says.

Her eyes widen as she asks, "You let me sleep for nine hours?"

"You needed to sleep." he tells her.

"But now I won't sleep tonight! Ugh, I've got to go for a run or something." she says as she gets up from the bed. "Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'm going to go for a run." she tells him as she grabs her bag and turns towards the bathroom.

"I'll come with you." Sam tells her. "Dean went for food but he's going to eat there so we've got some time. I can call and tell him not to bring us anything and we can go after we run if you want."

"Yeah, that sounds good." she says and then closes the bathroom door.

Sam quickly changes and pulls on some running shoes.

Alexis walks out of the bathroom in a neon green sports bra and black running shorts. The way she was dressed really showed off muscles Sam hadn't noticed before. She had abs and her legs definitely looked like runner's legs. Her smaller size is rather deceiving actually. Sam was pretty sure she could take him down if she caught him off guard.

"Ready?" she asks as she pulls her hair back.

"Yeah."

"Ok, I'm going to grab a water bottle from the vending machine and we can go."

They ran for about forty-five minutes before going back to the motel to shower and then heading out for some food.

* * *

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

That night, after Dean and Sam had fallen asleep, Alexis slips out of the house. She still couldn't sleep, not so much the nightmares this time as it was that she'd slept too much that day already. She had intended on just going for a walk, but about two blocks away a figure stepped out of the shadows. Her hand immediately flew to the weapon at the small of her back but she soon realized who, or what, was standing in front of her.

"You." she says, eyeing the blonde demon.

"Me." Ruby says.

"What the hell do you want?" she asks.

"Skip the questions and small talk. What are you?" Ruby asks, looking suspicious and almost scared.

"Excuse me? You're the demon." Alexis says.

"Yeah, and every demon instinct I have is telling me to run far away from you or kill you. Now, I'd kill you, but that would upset Sam and get me killed, so that's a no go. And I'd run, but that takes me away from helping Sam, so also a no go." the demon says.

"Well, I could kill you." Alexis says.

"Oh, but then who would help poor Dean?" she asks with a smirk.

"Just tell me what you are. You're not human, at least not purely human. There's something almost angelic about you." Ruby says.

Seeing the recognition on Alexis' face, an evil yet pleased smile crosses the demons face as she says, "That's it isn't it? You've got some angel mojo or whatever in you and you know it, meaning you know angels are real, and you're keeping it from your precious Winchesters. Oh, this is good. Lying to boyfriend and his big brother."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about." Alexis says, anger in her words. "I'm not lying to them."

"Oh, right, just keeping things? You're right, that's so much better." the demon says with a smirk.

_God I just want to smack that smirk off of her face._ "I'm not going to cross an archangel who could obliterate me and them with the flick of a wrist just to tell them angels are real."

Fear flashes across Ruby's face as she asks, "An archangel?"

"Exactly."

"Be careful, Alexis. Look, demons may be the bad guys, but we own up to it. Angels, on the other hand, they're supposed to be saviors, kind, compassionate, but most of them are not. They can do torture as well as if not better than demons, they're arrogant, and most of them could care less about humans. Just watch your back. Demons won't be the only ones who may want to use or hurt you. Which archangel was it?"

"Um, ok, thanks I guess? And it was Gabriel."

"Ah, the runaway one. That makes sense. You should be ok with him then, it's the others you need to look out for."

"Alright, well, I'm going to go now." Alexis says, turning back the way she had came.

When she reaches the house, she spots a figure on the Impala. As she gets closer, she realizes it's Dean, and he's waiting for her. _Crap, so much for going in and out unnoticed._

"Nice of you to come back." Dean says, voice monotone. "Sit." he tells her, motioning to the space on the hood next to him and she does as he says.

"I've been out here almost an hour. Where the hell were you?" he coolly yet firmly demands.

"I went for a walk, okay? I slept too much today."

"A walk, for an hour, at two am?" Dean scoffs.

"Yes, a walk."

"Alexis." he says, turning his head to face her.

_God what is it with the Winchesters and their eyes? Sam has those damn big brown puppy dog eyes and Dean has piercing green ones that make you feel like he's looking right into you. _"What?" she snaps. At the look that crosses his face she adds, "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"What is up with you?" he asks her, his face had softened and he actually looked concerned.

"Nothing." she says, not meeting his eyes.

"Doesn't look like nothing to me. But fine, if you don't want to talk to me, don't. One day, you're going to bottle too much up and you're going to explode, Alexis. Don't do that to yourself, and don't do that to Sammy. He cares about you and I mean really cares about you. After Jess, I wasn't sure he'd ever find that again, but he did with you. Don't hurt him, Lex. If you won't talk to me, at least talk to him."

She takes in what he says and understands but instead of just nodding, something makes her say, "Don't hurt him like you are?"

"What?" he asks, thinking he misheard.

"You made a deal to bring him back and now you're going to hell in under a year. You're also telling him not to try and get you out, and you're acting like you don't care, but you do Dean. You care, but you bottle it up. You're scared but you don't show it, and I get that. Believe me, I get that. Just don't act like its nothing, like you're not hurting him. Because you are."

"You don't get it."

"Maybe I can't relate entirely, but I do get it. But I can't make you do anything and you don't seem to want to be saved. You can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved." she tells him as she gets off the car and heads towards the door.

As soon as she's in the room she pulls off her hoodie and slips off her shoes then lies down next to Sam, but doesn't fall asleep. She hears Dean come in ten minutes later and soon she's the only one awake again. Alexis doesn't sleep at all. She just lies there overthinking things. Eventually, Sam stirs next to her and it was morning. Time to start the case.

* * *

They started off the morning to go interview the aunt of the most recent drowning victim, Aunt Gert, who seemed to take a liking to Sam. Shelia, her niece, had apparently drowned in the shower and she was the one who found her. She asked if they were working with Alex and they said they were. The older woman then mentioned that Shelia had said something about a disappearing boat before she died, and apparently, whoever the hell this Alex was, thinks it could be a ghost ship.

After interviewing Gert, they were walking along the dock. Sam mentioned that every 37 years there were reports of a vanishing, mysterious ship and there's weird dry land drownings to match. The ship is basically a death omen. _Isn't that great? You see a ship, few hours later you're dead. _As they approach where they had parked the Impala, they notice the spot is empty.

"This is where we parked the car, right?" Dean asks.

"I thought so." Sam says.

"Then where is it?" Alexis asks as Dean begins to panic.

"Did you feed the meter?" Sam asks.

"Of course! Where is my car?" Dean shouts. "Somebody stole my car!"

Oh yeah, he was moving into full-blown panic mode. And, as if the day couldn't get worse, Bela shows up. She tells them she had it towed. _This bitch is just asking to get shot. _They then figure out she's Alex. _Perfect. _She wanted them to stay out of her way. _Yeah, that's totally going to happen. _

As she walks away, Dean asks, "Can I shoot her?"

Alexis adds, "Only if that means I can too."

Sam responds, "Not in public."

That night, there was another drowning victim.

When the three arrived to interview the family the next day, Bela was already there. _Because seeing Bela once already this week isn't enough. _Alexis sat this one out, they didn't need three people to interview the victim's family, especially when all they were looking or was the description of the ship. Turns out the family, the guy's brother, saw the ship too. They hung around to see if they could save the guy, but all they got was another unpleasant encounter with Bela and another victim.

Back at the house, Bela shows up, again. "Dear God, are you actually squatting? Charming." she says as she walks in.

_I really just want to punch her_ Alexis thinks to herself. "What do you want?"

"Look, I think the four of us should have a heart to heart." she says.

Then Dean, taking the words right out of Alexis' mouth, says, "That's assuming you have a heart."

Bela reveals she's ID'd the ship and has the name, history, and pictures. Together, they conclude they need to find the hand that was cut off of a hanged man on the ship who was 37. Bela then reveals she knows where the hand is and says she needs help to get it. Helping Bela was the last thing Alexis wanted to do, and second to that was going to a party to do it, so she opted out of going, besides someone needed to be Gert's date, and that was Sam.

Later on, while the boys and Bela were at the party, Alexis decides to go for a walk along the dock, and along the way, she runs into Bela. She hears her mutter, "fuck," and then looks up. Alexis repeats the same word, because she saw what Bela did. The ship.

"You see it too?" Alexis asks, walking over to the car.

"Yeah." she tells her.

"Shit." Alexis says.

"Did you guys get the hand?" she asks Bela. Seeing the look on her face, Alexis draws her own conclusions. "Of course you got it, but you sold it, and now we're both royally screwed. Am I wrong?"

"Get in." is all Bela says.

As soon as Alexis closes the door, Bela speeds off towards the Winchesters.

**-Sam-centric POV a bit earlier-**

After he and Dean return to the house, they find it empty. Sam picks up the note on the table that reads _Went out. - Lex. _Two words. That was it. _Great. _

"She's not here?" Dean asks.

"Went out." Sam tells him.

"Seems to be doing that a lot lately." Dean comments.

"Alright, what is up with you two?" Sam finally asks, getting tired of watching them avoid each other since they started the case.

"Nothing." his older brother says.

"Really? Doesn't sound like it." he says.

"Why don't you ask your girlfriend where she went the other night while we were asleep?"

"What?"

"The night we got here she didn't sleep, at all. I woke up and she was gone. I sat out on the Impala for about an hour before she finally showed up. Who knows how long she was even gone. All she'd say was she wasn't tired and she went for a walk. Then we both said some things that maybe we shouldn't have."

"And you weren't going to mention this?"

"Nope."

_Great. Lex apparently still wasn't sleeping and now she was disappearing for hours on end. _

A few minutes later, Alexis and Bela are pounding on the door. _Why the hell are they together? _he thinks to himself.

Bela explains that she sold the hand while Alexis sits silently looking rather anxious.

"Why don't you just go buy it back?" Sam asks.

"It's halfway across the ocean, I can't get it back in time." Bela says.

"In time for what?" Dean asks.

"What's going on with you Bela? Both of you actually, you look like you've seen a ghost." he says.

Alexis finally speaks up, "We saw the ship, both of us."

_What? How could she have seen the ship? It's going after people who have something to do with a death in their families... What did she do? _His mind was suddenly racing.

"You what?" Dean asks, looking between both Alexis and Bela.

"Wow. You know I knew Bela was bad and Lex we're not on the best terms right now, but I didn't expect this."

"What are you talking about?" Bela questions.

"We figured out the spirit's motive." Sam says. Then he explains to Alexis and Bela that the captain was hung by his brother and the spirit was going after people who've spilled their own family's blood.

"Oh my God." Bela utters as a "fuck" escapes from Alexis.

"So who was it? Huh? Who'd you both kill?" Dean questions, eyeing them both suspiciously.

Sam could care less about what happened with Bela. _Lex... somehow she has her family's blood on her hands and she could die if we don't stop this. _

"It's none of your business." Bela answers.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

"What's it matter? I'm dead soon anyway." she says, answering Dean's question. Sam looked freaked and worried, but Dean, his gaze was cold. Suddenly, he seemed like he could care less about her. She wishes that didn't hurt her, but it did.

"We've got to help, Dean." Sam says, apparently seeing how Dean was ready to just leave.

That night, they were at the cemetery setting up something Sam had come up with. She and Bela were standing with Dean as it began to rain. As Sam begins to read some spell the ghost shows up and tosses Dean aside, sights set on Bela and Alexis. Immediately, the spirit's hands are on them and both of them began to spit up water. _This is almost worse than the fire _she thinks to herself. Sam finishes reading and the rain stops. The brother of the ghost appears and they take each other out. Alexis and Bela finally stop coughing up water. Dean was holding Bela as Sam rushes over to Alexis. He lifts her up and carries her back to the Impala as Dean helps Bela.

Alexis spent the rest of the night ignoring Sam and Dean. She headed upstairs until they were asleep and then slipped out of the house. She sat outside until the sun came up, her mind constantly replaying what it was that landed her in the position of seeing the ship. There was no way she could sleep.

Sometime in the early morning, Alexis spots Bela's car pull up and she walks over to talk to her. "What happened, Bela? Why'd you see the ship?" Alexis asks her.

"I, uh, I had my parents killed when I was 14. They were horrible, abusive, especially my father. I made a deal with a Crossroads Demon. I got ten years and my parents died." Bela admits.

"Oh my God." Alexis says, and then adds, "I'm sorry."

"What, you're not going to call me a murderer and shun me? What'd you do anyways?"

"No, I'm not." Alexis says and then takes a deep breath. "When I was 17, I was on a hunt with my cousin, Riley. She was my dad's brother's only daughter and she was my only living cousin. It was a simple werewolf hunt but we had split up to search the area. I heard an ear-piercing scream come from the direction she had gone and ran to her. I killed the werewolf but it was too late. When the werewolf had attacked her, she fell and broke her neck. She was paralyzed and there was blood everywhere. She may have been able to survive, but not with a life she wanted to live. She begged me to shoot her because she couldn't do it herself. So I did, with tears in my eyes, I pulled the trigger and ended my only remaining cousin's life." Alexis explains, tears threatening to spill out.

Bela even had a few tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry. Really, I am." Bela says, her voice indicating she truly meant it.

"Look, I don't have more than a year left in this deal but I heard you're trying to get Dean out. If you end up finding something, let me know?" Bela asks her.

"Yeah, I will."

Bela nods and then composes herself as Alexis does the same. "Well, I came here to give you all this. I don't like to be indebted to anyone. You'll tell them?" Bela says, handing Alexis $10,000.

"Seriously?" Alexis says. "Yeah, I'll tell them. Bye, Bela."

"Bye, Alexis."

"Wait, Bela!"

Bela whirls around. "Yes?"

"Um, can you give me a ride? To the airport?" Alexis asks.

"You sure?"

Alexis nods.

"Yeah. Grab your stuff." Bela says.

Alexis turns towards the house and sees both of the Winchesters were still asleep. She quickly scribbles _I__'__m sorry_ on a note, left the money from Bela, grabs her stuff, and walks out the door with one last look at Sam.

* * *

_A/N: Alexis has been known to be a flight risk, so I figured that's how I'd end this chapter. I switched between Alexis and Sam centric point of views more this chapter, let me know if you like that or if I should stick more with Alexis. _

_**EmeraldFlames4:** Thank you so much for reviewing all the time. They really help me. I__'m glad you're enjoying the story!  
_


	15. Flight Risk

***Warning: There****'s mention and description of past physical abuse in the chapter and attempted rape. I will bold the first word and the last word of the section it is in.* **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. Alexis is mine, so are Zac and Ryan, and unfortunately, Kyle too.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Flight Risk**

**-Sam-centric POV (night before and morning)-**

The car ride back to the house was silent, leaving everyone to their own thoughts. Seeing Alexis so near death like that scared Sam. He had no idea what she'd done, but he knew her, or he hoped he did, and knew there had to be something behind it, something more to the story. There was no way she was a murderer. He wanted to ask her about it and he knew Dean wouldn't let them leave without her telling them, so when Alexis rushed into the house and went up to the second floor for the rest of the night, he let her. He'd find out soon enough what happened.

When he wakes up, she isn't next to him. They'd only been together about three months, but he was already used to sleeping right next to her. He decides to walk upstairs and see if she was awake, but he stops in his tracks upon spotting the bag on the table and note on top of it. As he reads the two words on the note, it's like his heart stops. _I'm sorry_ was all it said and the bottom had _Bag is from Bela_ in parenthesis. She hadn't even written her name, she didn't have to. Sam immediately runs upstairs, hoping to find her there. But he didn't. Alexis was gone. Beginning to panic, he pulls out his phone and quickly dials her but the call goes straight to voicemail. _Her phone is off_, _shit. _

"Dean!" he shouts, heading back down the stairs.

His brother was immediately awake and on alert. "What is it?" he asks, looking around.

"She's gone."

"What do you mean gone?" Dean asks, standing up.

"She left. Took all her stuff." Sam says, handing the note to Dean.

"Son of a bitch." he exclaims as he reads the note. "What's in the bag?"

"I didn't even look." Sam says.

Dean unzips the bag and says, "Cash, a ton of it. Great. We have a ton of cash and a missing Harvelle. Fucking perfect."

The two brothers spend the next half hour calling any hunters they could think of that knew Alexis. Bobby hadn't heard from her, neither had Ellen or Jo. Running out of options, Sam decides to try Ryan or Jake.

"Hello?" Ryan's voice comes through on the other end.

"Hi, Ryan? This is Sam, Sam Winchester."

"Oh, Lex's friend. Hi. What's up?"

"You or Jake haven't heard from Lex have you?" Sam asks, hoping the answer would be yes.

"I haven't but let me ask Jake." Ryan says, then a few seconds later adds, "He hasn't either. What's wrong?"

"She took off. We have no idea where she is. Her mom and sister haven't heard from her either."

"Find her, quickly. Lexi, she's a flight risk you could say, but when she feels she needs to leave, its usually bad. She shouldn't be alone. She left once on us and freaked us the hell out. She wasn't in the best shape when we found her either." Ryan explains.

"We're trying. Call me if you hear from her?" Sam says.

"I will." Ryan says and hangs up.

"Any luck?" Dean asks.

"No. Where the hell did she go?"

"Hey, calm down. We'll find her, okay?"

"We have to Dean. I- I love her." _Did I just say that?_

"I know. We'll find her and she'll be okay." Dean tells his little brother.

* * *

They spend the rest of their day looking for her to no avail. Sometime after eleven, both boys end up falling asleep, and about two hours later, Sam's phone rings. He was up and out the door immediately upon seeing _Lex _flash across the screen.

"Lex? Where are you?" he asks, getting in the Impala.

"Sam, I'm sorry." she chokes out.

He could hear something in the background, it sounded like water. _Where was she?_ "Hey. It's okay. Just tell me where you are and I'll come get you okay?"

"Um, I'm not really sure. I'm at a bridge."

_A bridge? She wouldn't jump... would she? _"Lex. Listen to me. What's around the bridge, any street names?" he asks, starting to get nervous.

"I walked here from the airport, I don't know." she tells him.

She sounded scared and lost. He wanted so badly to just be able to hold her. "Ok. Do you remember how far you walked?" Sam asks her, already heading towards the airport.

"I dunno. My phone's dying, bye Sam." and with that, she hung up.

_Fuck._

He drives to the bridge closest to the airport that he could find as quickly as possible, but doesn't see her. When he pulls up to the second one, he spots a small figure sitting on the edge. _Why the hell does this bridge have no railing? _As he gets closer, he notices the police tape. The bridge was closed. There had apparently been an accident recently.

He quickly walkes over to where Lex was. "Lex?" he asks, sitting down next to her.

"I'm sorry." she says, not looking at him.

"Lex, were you going to jump?"

She just shakes her head no.

He reaches his hand out to her face, cupping her chin, and bringing her gaze to his face. The usual mask was gone. Her face was ridden with bare emotion. There was sadness, disparity, and confusion written all over her face. She looked so small and fragile, like a completely different person than the one he'd seen the day before.

"Hey. Talk to me. What happened?"

She shakes her head again and a tear escapes from here eye.

He pulls her as close to him as he could and squeezes her tight. "Whatever it is, or was, it'll be ok. It's all going to be okay."

He then lifts her up in his arms and grabs her bag and then walks her back to the Impala. She was silent the entire drive back. Sam walks her inside and sits her down next to where he had been sleeping. He then set her stuff down and laid down, motioning for her to do the same. "Just get some sleep, we'll talk about it in the morning, alright?"

She nods again and turns her back to him. She hadn't even said anything since those two words at the bridge.

**-Alexis-centric POV earlier- **

One minute she was at the airport buying a ticket, and the next she was at a bridge. Alexis barely remembers how she got there. Being around water always calmed her for some reason, lakes, rivers, ponds, any body of water really. So her subconscious must have gotten her to the bridge, but why? She was ready to leave, but something wouldn't let her.

_I've always been able to leave before, why can't I now? _she thinks as she sits on the edge of the bridge. _Sam, it has to be Sam. Do I love him? _

Her mind was racing. Falling in love wasn't supposed to happen, she didn't want to get hurt like that again ever. Yet somehow, the younger Winchester with his big puppy dog eyes weaseled his way into her heart and she found herself where she swore she'd never be again. Alexis never wanted to be that vulnerable again, to have the chance that her heart would get shattered into a million pieces again. She wasn't sure she could take that again. _I do love him. Dammit. What the hell do I do? _

She sits there thinking for hours until it got to be almost one in the morning. _I need to call Sam._ She was only on the phone for a few minutes and roughly twenty-five minutes later Sam was sitting next to her. His face made her feel so much worse. He was so worried and scared and she did that to him. He didn't deserve that and she wasn't worth it.

She wanted to say so much more, but all she could manage to say was, "I'm sorry."

Soon, his big, strong, arms were around her and she was being placed in the Impala.

* * *

**-Dean-centric POV- **

When he wakes up that morning, Sam is still asleep, no surprise there. It's who is next to him that surprises him. Alexis is curled up asleep with her back to Sam. Dean decides to go sit on the back porch, let the two sleep longer.

Ten minutes later, Alexis slips out the back door. He looks up at her and asks, "What are you doing, Alexis?"

"I don't- I don't know." she tells him.

"Well you better figure it out. Sam was going insane worrying about you yesterday. I don't want to see my little brother's heart get broken again and I will do anything to make sure that doesn't happen. You got that?" Dean tells her.

She just nods.

"Good. Now what the hell happened?" he asks.

"Doesn't matter." she says, eyes on the ground.

Dean moves over to her and brings his hand to her chin, moving her head upwards. "It does matter. Whatever it was made you so scared that you ran. You've gotta talk to us, Lex, or we can't help."

"No. The way you looked at me when I said I'd seen the ship- that look, that look held the truth. It doesn't matter what happened, I have a family member's blood on my hands."

"Listen to me. It does matter. I shouldn't have been that harsh, okay? I should've given both you and Bela a chance to explain."

"No. You were right. You should've just left me to die, I deserve it." she tells him.

Dean locks his eyes on hers as he says, "Don't say that. You hear me? Do not say that. You don't deserve to die, Alexis. Whatever it was that happened, it wasn't cold-blooded murder. I know that."

Her face was ridden with pain and sadness that he wasn't used to seeing there. That mask was long gone and her face made his heart break slightly. _How could she really think she should die?_

She keeps her eyes on his, as she says, "No, Dean I do. Everyone around me gets hurt or worse. That's why I tried to leave. You and Sam don't deserve that. But something, something wouldn't let me leave. And that's what scared me. I've always been able to run, always. I never let myself get so attached that I can't, because I did once, and that almost broke me. I don't know if I can survive that again."

"Lex, what are you talking about?" he asks her. The broken look on her face made him disregard the whole 'no chick-flick moments' rule completely.

"I let myself get too attached once. I put too much trust and love into one person and my heart got stomped on along with my trust. I couldn't take that again, so I spent every day of my life since then keeping my world at arms length. Never getting too close to anyone and always being able to run. That is until your brother came along. Damn him and those puppy dog eyes."

Her voice was shaky and her eyes were glistening, it was clear she'd had her heart brutally broken and her trust destroyed all at once by someone. He could see how truly scared she was. "You love him, don't you?" he asks.

"I do. And you have no idea how much that scares me, Dean."

Dean moves to wrap one arm around her shoulder and pull her closer to him. "Everything you just told me, you have to tell Sam. Okay? You've got to be open and honest with him. I know you're scared, I can see it. But you've got to push past that, put yourself out there. Let him in, Lex."

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

She stands there with Dean for a few minutes, not saying anything, when Sam bursts out the door.

"I woke up and you weren't there." Sam says.

"I'm sorry." she tells him. _Damn have I been saying that a lot lately or what?_

"Lex, what happened?" Sam asks her.

"Can we get out of here first and then talk?" she asks.

Sam and Dean share one of their brother looks and hold a silent conversation that she can't understand and then Dean says, "Yeah. We can do that. Let's go."

The three silently packed up and the drove for a few hours until stopping in Albany, New York and getting a room.

"Can we stay at a hotel tonight? With what Bela gave us, we have the money and I can use a card that isn't a scam. We're not on a hunt and we'll only be here a night, so can we do a hotel? Like a Hilton or something?" Alexis asks, breaking the three hour long silence.

"Yeah, sure." Dean says.

A few minutes later they pull into a Hilton Garden Inn and are checking in for the night. Once they're settled into the room, Alexis sits down on the small couch and Sam and Dean grab chairs across from her.

"So are you going to explain?" Dean asks.

She nods and takes a deep breath. "When I was 17, my cousin Riley and I went on a hunt. She was 20 and my only living cousin. It was a simple werewolf hunt, or should have been. She had suggested splitting up, and for some reason, I went with it. As I was searching, I heard a blood-curdling scream come from the opposite direction. I ran as fast as I could, but it was too late for Riley. I had killed the werewolf, but not before it had knocked her back, causing her to break her neck, leaving her paralyzed from the neck down. There was blood everywhere. She may have been able to live, but she didn't want to. She begged me to end it for her and I did. I ended my last remaining cousin's life." Alexis explains, replaying the scene over again in her mind for the hundredth time that week.

And after what the demon that was possessing Sam said back in April, she couldn't help but picture a similar thing with her dad and John. Sam must have known that that's what she was doing because of the look on his face.

"Lex, I'm so sorry." Sam says.

"You know that wasn't your fault, right? That, that was a mercy kill." Dean tells her.

She just slowly nods her head.

"I'm going to go out for a while, you two should talk." Dean says and then heads out the door.

**-Sam-centric POV-**

Sam stands up and moves to sit down on the couch next to her. "Dean's right, that hunt with your cousin wasn't your fault." he tells her. "And, if what the demon said when it possessed me is true, I know what you're thinking. You're picturing your cousin as your dad and my dad as you. We don't know Lex, but if that's what happened, it was probably what your dad wanted. Accidents happen."

"I know." she says, not meeting his eyes.

"Then why'd you run?" he asks.

She just shakes her head.

"Why won't you talk to me?" he asks sadly.

"I don't- I- I can't." she lets out.

"Why?"

"I don't know how to."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't." she tells him as she stands up.

"Lex, please, I..." he trails off.

"You what Sam?"

"I love you, Lex." he finally says. _Crap, I said it, as if she didn't already want to run; now I said that._

"That's just it, Sam." she says, an unreadable emotion on her face.

"What are you talking about?" he asks, as he stands up too, completely confused.

"I love you too and that's what's wrong."

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. _What is she trying to say? _"What?" he asks, voice laced with hurt and shock.

"You are why I couldn't leave."

"What?" he reiterates, unable to say anything else.

"I let myself do something I swore I never would again." she tells him, still not making much sense.

"Lex, what are you trying to say?"

"I fell in love with you, Sam. I never wanted to do that again, not after..." she trails off.

"After what?" he asks softly.

"It doesn't matter."

He steps closer to her and says, "Of course it matters."

"I've never told anyone what happened. Zac was the only one who even knew. After it, I just lived with my world at arms length. I didn't let anyone in far enough or trusted anyone enough to hurt me like that again. But then you came along, and now, now I have myself in that place again, and I'm scared, Sam. I'm scared that I'm going to get hurt again and I won't bounce back this time. I'm scared because you are what stopped me from leaving yesterday."

"Alexis... what happened?" he hesitantly asks, frankly scared to hear the answer.

**She** turns away from him and runs her hand through her hair. "I was 19 and um, I started dating this guy, Kyle. He wasn't a hunter. I had met him on a case in Michigan and ended up sticking around for a while." she says, now turning back to him with a barely composed face.

"I fell for him, fast, and it was great, at least for the first three months. It was when he asked me to move in with him that things got bad. I had come back from a hunt and he had asked me where I was. He thought I was lying, that I was cheating on him. That, that was uh, the first time he..." she trails off, her voice beginning to give out on her.

Sam could feel himself getting angry. He had a feeling he knew where she was going with this. "The first time he what, Lex?" he asks as calmly as he could.

"The first time he hit me. He told me to stop lying to him, and if I kept lying to him it would happen again. I told him I wasn't lying, I wasn't cheating on him, but that made it worse, he hit me again. He said he loved me and that should be enough. I said I was sorry and went to shower. It happened again after the next hunt, but it didn't get really bad until I came home late one night a month or so later. Before then, I was able to hide most of the bruises and they weren't that bad. When I came home, he had been drinking. He told me he was my boyfriend and I wasn't supposed to cheat on him. I said I wasn't, but he called me a liar and threw his empty beer bottle at my head. It missed, but barely." she pauses to stop herself from crying.

Sam's blood was boiling. He wanted to kill something. No, he wanted to kill Kyle.

"Then he said he was going to show me that I was his and no one else's. He drunkenly lunged for me, and I was so stunned that my hunter instincts hadn't kicked in, so he was able to grab me. He roughly threw me over his shoulder and then onto the bed. He started kissing me and trying to get my clothes off, repeatedly saying 'mine, you're mine.' I tried to tell him no, but he wouldn't listen. His hands were everywhere and he was leaving bite marks, he even ripped my shirt. He had moved down to my pants when I was able to push him off of me and run into the bathroom. Kyle started pounding on the door, demanding to be let in. I turned the shower on and tried to tune him out. I spent the rest of the night in there. The next morning he apologized, he said it would never happen again and that he loved me, and I forgave him because I was so pathetic that I still loved him. It was like I was walking on eggshells around him after that. I barely went out, I began to stop hunting, to try and avoid anything like that night again. Another month had passed and there hadn't been a night like that again, but he would lose his temper over the smallest thing. If I dropped a glass, bought the wrong beer, simply folded clothes a different way, he'd lose it and I'd have new bruises to cover up. I know now I should've left the day he first hit me, it never should have gone that far. But then, it seemed like I deserved it almost. So I didn't leave, I just hide the bruises and the scratches." she continues, pausing again to will away tears.

"It was a Wednesday morning in March. March 9th to be exact. I remember that day crystal clear. I had missed Zac's birthday and he was worried because I had been so distant lately, so he showed up. I wasn't expecting him so he caught me off guard. He saw right away that I wasn't okay. That I was hiding something, and when he hugged me, I jumped. Any physical contact like that I had begun to fear. He made me take off the hoodie I was wearing, leaving me in a sports bra and my yoga pants. There were bruises all over me and Zac's eyes went over each and every one of them before he finally looked up at me. All he said was 'we are getting you out of here, now.' Before we could leave, Kyle had come home. He demanded to know who Zac was, if he was the guy I was cheating on him with. Zac was thrown back and then he charged for me. He threw me up against a wall and had his hands around my neck. 'You don't get to leave unless I say so.' he had told me. He landed another punch with one hand as the other was still squeezing my neck. I could barely breathe let alone move. Zac had gotten up and grabbed a shovel that happened to be in reach. He hit Kyle over the head with it and then got me out of there. We drove back to Chicago in silence. I had fallen asleep so Zac carried me inside and let me sleep. He got me out and he helped me move on from that the best he could. If it weren't for him, I don't even think I'd be here right now."

She pauses again, trying to compose herself. "Kyle was the last person I ever let myself get that close to, the last person I ever loved or trusted that much, until you, Sam. _That_ is why I'm so damn scared." she finally **finishes.**

Sam felt like he couldn't breathe. He was so angry but he also felt so bad for Alexis. He knew she wouldn't want that, but he couldn't help it. That was also the moment he realized how strong the girl standing before him was.

"Lex, I had no idea. I'm so sorry." he tells her, tentatively stepping closer to her to hug her. Seeing that she didn't reject the advance, he moved his arms around her and the tears she had been keeping at bay began to cascade down her face. He pulls her as close to him as he possibly can and rests his chin on her head, rubbing her back with one hand. He doesn't know what to say so he just holds her like that until she stops crying.

At that moment, he swore to himself he would never let Alexis get hurt like that ever again, and if he ever saw Kyle, he would make him pay for ever even touching her. "I promise you I will never hurt you like that, ever. And I won't let anyone else either." he firmly tells her, squeezing her tighter.

She looks up at him and nods.

"You don't have to run anymore. You can talk to me about anything, okay? You don't have to be scared, I won't let anything happen to you." he tells her.

"Thank you, Sam."

"I love you, Alexis. I mean that."

"I love you too, Sam, I do."

He could see she meant it but she was still scared of it.

"How about you get some sleep?" he proposes.

She nods her head and he follows her over to one of the beds. She lies down and motions for him to do the same, so he does. She moves as close to him as she can and falls asleep with her head on his chest.

Soon after she had fallen asleep, Dean returns. His older brother shoots him a look, silently asking _what happened?_ as he notices the tear streaks on Alexis' face and the position they were in.

The look Sam returns conveys _long story, leave it be. _

"Is she okay?" Dean asks.

Sam looks down at her and then back to his brother. "She will be."

Dean nods and lets it go.

"She hasn't slept much recently, so I'll wake her up around six and then we can go to dinner." Sam tells his older brother.

"Sounds good."

* * *

_A/N: I do not have any personal experience with an abusive relationship, but unfortunately, many people do. I felt that was a crucial part to add to Alexis. It's a huge part of her trust issues and why she's a flight risk. It's also where the warrior tattoo comes from. I may bring Kyle back into play again for a chapter or two to have a Kyle-Sam encounter, but I haven't decided yet. If you strongly feel I didn't write it well or there's something I should add or change, PM me or leave it in a review, and I will change it. Please let me know what you think of this chapter, if you want more similar to this or more based off of episodes._

_(Timeline wise this chapter covers July 17th and 18th.)_


	16. Rebuilding

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the song Look What You Started by Megan and Liz. I do own Alexis, Arizona, Ellie, Ryan, Jake, Matt, Luke, and Alyssa. **

* * *

**Chapter 16: Rebuilding**

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

Alexis had ended up skipping dinner and just going back to sleep. She was tired and she was talked out. It was around one in the morning when she woke up again and both Winchesters were asleep. Not wanting to wake them and not able to go back to sleep, she decides she'd go sit on the tiny balcony of their room. While she was out there, she decides she's going to take some time off from hunting with the Winchesters. It was almost Matt's birthday, and she always visited the empty grave that had been placed for him on his birthday anyway. _I'll go back to Nebraska, visit Matt's grave on his birthday, and see if the roadhouse can be rebuilt. _Rebuilding the roadhouse was something she'd been thinking about lately. With what she'd inherited from Zac, she had more than enough money to do it.

Dean joins her outside about an hour later.

"Can't sleep?" she asks him.

"Woke up and saw you weren't there. Wanted to make sure you weren't leaving again." he tells her.

"Well, actually..." she trails off.

"You want to leave." he states.

"Not leave, just take some time off. I've had a lot happen in the past few months and some old stuff has come up again. I think a break would be good for me right now." she explains.

"Sam's not going to like that."

"I know. There's just a few things I want to do and a few things I need to figure out on my own."

Dean nods, understanding what she meant. A few minutes later he turns to face her and asks, "Lex, what were you talking about before about how you'd been hurt? What'd you tell Sam?"

"I'm not going to tell you everything I told Sam, I can't. Not now. But uh, a few years ago, I found myself in a bad relationship." Alexis says.

"Bad as in… abusive?" he asks.

"Yeah. It was abusive, toxic, and destructive. But I loved him, I did. And I think that was the worst part. It's what kept me from leaving." she says.

"So when you realized you couldn't leave yesterday because you loved Sam, that's why you were scared. You were scared of finding yourself in that type of a relationship or situation again."

"Yeah, mostly."

"Lex, I'm sorry." he tells her, his green eyes full of sympathy.

"Not your fault."

"I know. Um, what happened to the guy? I mean, how'd you get out?"

"The guy is still alive as far as I know. And Zac got me out."

"Well, if we ever come across this guy again, I'll put him in his place if Sam doesn't first."

"Thanks, Dean." she says.

They sit in silence again for a while until Dean asks, "So you really think a break is what you need?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Okay. Where do you want us to drop you off?"

"Nebraska. You don't have to drop me off, I can catch a bus or something."

"We're dropping you off."

"If you insist." she says, and then adds, "You should go back to sleep. I'm not leaving tonight."

As Dean gets up to go inside, Sam walks out.

"Now you're up too?" she asks him.

When she glances up at him she notices the odd expression on his face. "What is it?" she asks.

"You want to leave." he says, voice laced with sadness.

"How much did you hear?"

"Just the last part about us dropping you off."

"Sam, I just need a break. I'm not leaving for good, and I'm most definitely not leaving you." she tells him, placing a hand on his leg.

"We could all take a break." he tells her.

"Sam, I think I need to take my break alone. I'll be in between Chicago and Nebraska, Broken Bow to be exact. So, if you two pick up any hunts around there, let me know and I'll join you once or twice. I think I'm going to take a break up until my birthday."

"That long? Why?"

"There's some things I've got to do on my own."

Sam shifts his eyes downward, face resembling a kicked puppy.

"If you really want me to stay, I guess I could." she tells him.

"No, if you want a break you should take it. I'm just going to miss you. Though now I won't have cold feet on me at night." he says, face lightening up a bit.

"Hey! I can't help it if you're like a furnace!" she says, teasingly hitting him.

"Are you going to go back to bed?" she asks him. It was sometime after two.

"I don't think so." he says.

"Want to see if we can find an all night diner and go get some food?" she asks.

He laughs, "Oh, now you're hungry. Yeah, we can do that."

"Great! Let's go. I should probably put on some real clothes though." she says, gesturing to her bare feet, tank top, and shorts.

The couple spends an hour eating and then around eight, the three hunters were on the road headed to Chicago. Alexis was able to convince them to drop her off there, where she could grab Zac's car, and head to Nebraska on her own. Nebraska was way too long of a drive from Albany anyway.

* * *

It was just after midnight when they arrived in Chicago, so the Winchesters crashed there for the night. That morning, they were off to Bobby's and Alexis was alone. It was July 20th and Matt's birthday was July 27th. She decided she'd spend at least the week in Broken Bow. She'd check out what could be done with the roadhouse, see if Alyssa and Luke are around, and visit Matt's grave. She'd made it to Broken Bow in Zac's old Ford Mustang sometime that night and was knocking on an old friend's door around eight.

"Lexi?" Luke asks as he opens the door.

"Luke!" she exclaims as he pulls her into a hug.

"Luke, who is it?" she hears from inside.

"Lex?" Alyssa asks.

"Hey, Lis." she says as she spots her friend.

"What are you doing here? Wait, what day is it?" Luke asks.

"It's the 20th. You're in town to visit Matt's grave aren't you?" Alyssa says.

"Yeah. I was going to get a motel, but I figured I'd see if you two had room for a guest first."

"Of course! Come on in." Luke says, stepping aside.

Luke and Alyssa were childhood friends of hers and they were siblings. Luke was only a few months older than Alexis and Alyssa was three years older. Their parents had hunted so they frequented the roadhouse when they were younger. The three old friends spent the rest of the night catching up, and the next morning Alexis headed into town to buy back the land where the roadhouse was. Ellen had sold the land over to the government and nothing had been done with it yet. It hadn't even been cleared, just taped off and abandoned. No one had interest in the land so it was easy for her to get back. After that, she headed out there as she had called someone to come and see what could be done.

When she pulled up to the remains of the roadhouse, she saw that it looked almost the same as it did the day she left the hospital three months ago. Alexis had been informed that just about everything had to be scrapped. The only salvageable part was the far wall. Since she could actually walk through the place on her own this time, she did, sifting through the debris to see if anything survived. She came across an old safety box that her mother had kept. Inside was an old photo album along with miscellaneous Polaroid pictures, her father's wedding ring and one of his journals, Matt's necklace that he never took off, and Matt's old video camera. When she got towards the room that had been Ash's had stood, she noticed something sticking out under all the soot and debris. It was a wooden sign that hadn't been completely burnt and she was able to make out _Dr. Badass is:_ She let out a small, sad laugh, _of all things to survive the fire this would be one of them_. With the box and sign in hand, Alexis headed back to her car.

By the time Matt's birthday rolled around that week, she had gotten the land cleared and hired people to begin rebuilding the roadhouse using the original blueprints to the place. Friday was Matt's birthday. Alexis continued her tradition of going to his favorite place and picking up lunch and then eating it at the cemetery. She'd sit there just talking to him and eating. She liked to think that he could hear her, but she really wasn't sure. She was probably sitting there talking to herself.

When she gets to the grave, she reads over the tombstone. _July 27th, 1975 - October 13th, 1993. _This October would be the fourteenth anniversary of his death. _I can't believe he's been gone that long. He would've been 32 today _she thinks to herself. "Damn do I wish you were here Matt." she says sadly as she takes a seat next to the grave.

"Mom and Jo are both hunting now. We lost the roadhouse this year, but I'm having it rebuilt." she begins to say.

She spends a while just recapping the past year out loud. "Now that I know angels are real, Heaven has to be too. I hope the Heaven you're in is a good one, maybe with dad. I miss you Matty. You're my big brother, it was never supposed to be this way." she says.

"You're supposed be here and your not. And that will never be okay. Ever."

mAlexis places a rose on his grave and then turns to the one next to it and places one there too, saying, "I miss you too, Daddy."

* * *

**October 5th, 2007 - Harvelle's Roadhouse**

Alexis had spent her time since Matt's birthday in between Chicago and Broken Bow. She'd picked up a hunt with the Winchesters but the last time she saw them was the middle of August. She'd done one other hunt with her mom and Jo and one with Ryan and Jake, but other than that, she hadn't been hunting. She did spend two weeks after Matt's birthday in Atlanta with Arizona and Ellie. In about two months, the roadhouse had gotten completely rebuilt. Today was the day she had told Bobby, Jake, Ryan, Arizona, Sam, and Dean to meet her there. Alexis had already spoken to Arizona about co-owning the place with her and her mother, or just her if Ellen didn't want it back. Arizona was moving out to Broken Bow, Nebraska with Ellie. Alexis' plan was to have her mother and Jo come out on her birthday and she'd show them what she'd done. She'd kept the fact that she was rebuilding it a secret, so it would be a surprise. Today, however, she needed people to help move inventory and the last pieces of furniture. Hence the hunters she called. Bobby was the first to arrive.

"Bobby!" she exclaims. It had been months since she'd seen the older hunter.

"I know I'm old, but there's no way I'm seeing things just yet. What'd you do, kid?" he asks.

"I had it rebuilt. Most of it is completely new. The only thing that was salvageable was the far wall of the place."

"So this is what you've spent your break doing." he states.

"For the most part." "

Does your mother know about this?" Bobby asks her.

"No. I was going to surprise her with it. Do you think she'll like it?" Alexis asks.

"I do, Lex. I think she'll love it."

Just then, Ryan and Jake pull up. "Uh, Lex, how is that there?" Ryan asks her as the two walk over to her and Bobby.

"I had it rebuilt from the original blueprints. The outside looks nearly the same, the inside is a bit different." she explains.

"Wow." Ryan and Jake say at the same time.

The four stand there talking for a while until Arizona pulls up. Seconds after the car is parked, the back door is thrown open and Ellie jumps out, running towards Alexis.

"Lexi!" the little girl exclaims as she throws herself into Alexis' arms.

"Hey, Ellie." she tells the small brunette.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, kiddo." she tells her, lifting her up.

"Hey Zona." Alexis says as Arizona walks over.

"Hi Lex. The place looks really good."

"Thanks. So you two ready to move here?"

"Yep. Bought a nice place about fifteen minutes from here." Arizona says.

"Awesome."

The Impala pulls up to the roadhouse two minutes later and both Winchesters step out and quickly walk over to her. "

Okay, what did you do?" Dean asks.

"Nice to see you too, Dean. I had it rebuilt."

"So this is what you did on your supposed break then." he says.

"Yep."

"Who are you?" Ellie asks, still in Alexis' arms.

"Ellie, this is Dean and his brother Sam. Sam, Dean, this is Ellie."

"Ohh. Sam your boyfriend?" Ellie asks.

"How do you know that?"

"I hear you and Mommy sometimes."

Ellie had started calling Arizona 'mommy'.

"You're sneaky. But yes, Sam is my boyfriend." Alexis tells her.

"So you guys kiss?" she asks in her innocent six year old voice.

"Yes."

"Eww!" she exclaims.

"Ew is right." Dean adds.

Alexis and Sam both laugh and Alexis sets Ellie down. She introduces everyone who doesn't know each other and then explains what she needs them to do. The group of hunters spend the next few hours moving in and arranging inventory and moving furniture. Around 6, everything was set and Arizona offered to cook some dinner in the new kitchen. As Arizona was cooking, Alexis did the two things she'd been waiting to do.

"What's that, Lex?" Dean asks, pointing to the sign in her hand. She turns it to face him and recognition registers on his face.

"That survived the fire?" Sam asks.

"Yeah. I touched it up a bit and bought a new piece to place on it." she says, moving to hang the sign in its place behind the bar. The sign read _Dr. Badass is:_ and Alexis attaches the small square of wood that she'd made where the one that said _In_ or _Out_ used to hang. The sign now read _Dr. Badass is: up._

"Can't have Harvelle's Roadhouse without Dr. Badass." she says, grabbing a beer for herself, Sam, and Dean.

"To Ash." she says as she takes a sip.

"To Ash." Sam and Dean reply.

"What's the other thing?" Sam asks, pointing to the bag she had also grabbed.

"Oh, this. Hang on." Alexis says, setting her beer down and walking over to the wall. _Wall of Honor _was painted across the top. She pulls out a few pictures and names from the bag along with tape and puts them up. The first was her dad, then Matt, then John, then her cousin Riley, followed by Zac's uncle Alec, along with any other hunter that has died that she knew of.

"What's that?" Bobby asks.

"It's the Wall of Honor. Any hunter who has died can be put up here. It doesn't matter what people thought of them, if they killed anything supernatural and saved people, they can go up here. People can add a name, a picture, or both. This was the only wall that belonged to the original roadhouse so I thought it was a good one to use for this."

"That's really nice, Lex." Sam says, walking over to it.

"Yeah, it is." Dean agrees.

* * *

After they all ate, Arizona and Ellie left, leaving Alexis surrounded by a bunch of guys. So she found herself sitting outside on her car, cigarette in hand. She hadn't smoked since before the fire, and she wasn't now, she had just found them in the car.

"I thought you quit smoking."

She turns her head and sees Sam walking towards her. "I did." she tells him as he sits down next to her.

"Then what're you doing?"

"Just found them. You know, it's been about a year since the first time we met."

"Yeah, and I had walked out here to find you sitting on your car, smoking. Almost exactly like this."

"Except its not my Camaro and I'm not smoking."

Sam just nods and then puts his arm around Alexis. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." she says as she lays her head on his shoulder.

"So are you coming back with us now?" he asks.

"I think I will. After my birthday, that is. Have you missed me and my cold feet next to you?" she asks with a laugh.

"You? Yes. Your cold feet? No." Sam says. "I can't believe you got this place rebuilt."

"It was something I'd been thinking about and I had the money to do it, so I did."

"So you're going to surprise your mom and Jo with it?"

"Yeah." "

They'll love it."

"I hope so."

They sit in silence for a while just watching the sky.

"So, I've been staying at my friend's house while I've been here and they're out of town, so it's just me. We could have Dean get a motel room and we can stay at the house." she tells Sam.

"That'd be nice." he says.

"Well, let's go let Dean know then."

It was around ten when Alexis and Sam get back to Luke and Alyssa's house.

"So whose place is this?" Sam asks as they walk in.

"My friends, Luke and Alyssa. They're siblings. I've known them since I was a kid."

Sam nods.

"There's a hot tub, want to go in?" she asks.

"Sure."

Sam follows her upstairs and as she goes to grab her swimsuit, he stops her.

"Sam, what're you doing?"

"I'm in an empty house with my girlfriend who I haven't seen in two months. I'm going to kiss her. Repeatedly." he says, which he then follows with a kiss on the lips, and then he begins leaving a trail of kisses down her neck.

"Sam..." she says, each kiss sending a spark through her.

She kisses him back and one thing leads to another, before she knew it, they were both pressed against each other on the bed, hands tearing at the others clothes. Once their clothes had been cast off to the floor, Alexis realizes how small she truly felt. She was physically and emotionally naked in front of Sam, and Sam, well he was incredibly tall and strong. She notices how his eyes devour her, as if trying to memorize every inch of her bare skin, not critique it.

He begins another trail of kisses, beginning on the other side of her neck and trailing down to her hips. His hands were everywhere, caressing her as if she were made of gold. The two began to move together as if they were made to do just that, their bodies worked perfectly with each other. Sam's hands were soon pushing her legs apart and then he quickly adjusted to a pace as he moved inside of her and she moved with him. She could feel his breath sweep across her skin and see the sweat glisten across his forehead. _God he's beautiful_ she thinks as his eyes meet hers. The two are simultaneously pushed over the edge and lose themselves in pure ecstasy. Sam collapses next to her and she watches his chest rise and fall.

"We were supposed to go in the hot tub." she says with a small laugh after catching her breath.

Alexis could almost hear the smirk on his face by the way he says, "We still can."

Before she could ask what he meant, he was lifting her up and heading for the door, both of them entirely naked.

"Sam!" she exclaims with a laugh.

"Who needs swimsuits anyways." he says.

* * *

The next day she wakes up and turns to face Sam. _I've missed having him next to me _she thinks to herself. She moves her head to his chest and listens to his heartbeat in her ear as she waits for him to wake up. Around 11, the two head to the roadhouse.

Alexis spendt most of her day baking. She made four pies, because with Dean, you never know how much you need. She also made a couple dozen salted caramel-stuffed chocolate truffle cookies along with a couple dozen butter cookies with sprinkles. One thing she learned from growing up in the roadhouse is that when it came to hunters, it was always better to have more food than not enough.

As she was finishing up, Sam walks into the kitchen. "I noticed you put a piano and a guitar in. You should play something. You know, make sure they work." he says with a smile on his face.

"You just want me to sing something."

"I do."

"Fine. Let me finish here first."

Ten minutes later she's walking towards the piano, Sam trailing behind her. Alexis sits down on the piano bench and plays the first few notes of _Look What You Started _by Megan and Liz before she sings along:

_"It's like I'm sleeping, and this is a dream_

_It's like a movie, cut to the love scene_

_We're going so fast, I think that's fast enough_

_It's just the first date, don't wanna fall yet_

_It's just a crush, hey. How bad could it get?_

_I said there's no way, I'd ever fall in love. Woah_

_But I confess_

_My hands are shaking, baby_

_I'm a mess_

_My heart is racing_

_When you touch me, yes_

_Look at me baby_

_Look what you started, look what you started. _

_Falling now,_

_Boy, if you kiss me, I'll be on the ground_

_You see my head is spinning, round and round_

_I'm going crazy_

_Look what you started, look what you started now_

_Look what you started now _

_Look what you started now_

_Your arms around me, I'm kinda freaking out_

_I like it baby, but baby not right now_

_Look what you started, you got me all screwed up_

_Yeah, there's a part of me that wants to run away_

_A bigger part of me is telling me to stay_

_Look what you started. _

_Baby, I'm all screwed up_

_But I confess_

_My hands are shaking, baby_

_I'm a mess_

_My heart is racing_

_When you touch me, yes_

_Look at me baby_

_Look what you started, look what you started__"_

"You really should sing more, Lex." Sam tells her.

"Yeah, that's what you keep saying." she says and then adds, "Maybe I will tomorrow. Do you think the place looks good?"

"It looks awesome Lex. Your mom and Jo will love it, don't worry." Sam assures her. "Why don't we go get some dinner and then head back to the house?"

"Sounds good."

Sam and Alexis go out to dinner and then spend the rest of the night watching movies.

* * *

**October 7th, 2007 - Harvelle's Roadhouse - General POV**

"So I told my mom and Jo to meet me here at four. They should be here soon." Alexis tells the group of hunters and Ellie.

"Zona, Dean, you two have dinner covered?" she asks.

"Yep." they both respond.

"Good. I baked a lot yesterday, so that should cover desert. And we most definitely have enough alcohol." she says with a laugh.

"Did you make pie?" Dean asks.

"Yes, Dean. I made pie."

"Good. Can't have a party without pie." Dean says.

Alexis just laughs. "I'm going to wait outside for Jo and my mom." she says, turning for the door.

Five minutes later, Ellen and Jo pull up. The two step out of the car and just stare.

"Lex..." Ellen begins but trails off.

"I had it rebuilt. Do you like it?" she asks.

"I love it." Ellen says as she walks over towards her youngest daughter.

"It looks awesome, Lexi." Jo says, and then adds, "Happy birthday little sister." as she pulls her in for a hug.

"Thanks." Alexis responds. "Let's go inside."

The group spends their time talking and drinking until dinner is ready. Arizona and Dean had made burgers and grilled chicken sandwiches along with salad and fries. After everyone had eaten, Sam suggests that Alexis sing something.

"I don't know, Sam." she says.

"Come on, Lexi. Sing something." Jo chimes in.

"Fine, but if I have to sing, Ryan is singing with me." Alexis says.

At the mention of his name, Ryan's head jerks up. "What?"

"You heard me." she says.

"Oh, this should be good. Like that one time you two were both drunk and did karaoke." Jake adds.

"It's my birthday so you've got to do it, Ry." Alexis says.

"Fine." Ryan says, downing the rest of his drink.

Ryan and Alexis end up singing _Torn _by Natalie Imbruglia. It wasn't bad but it did spark a wave of bad karaoke. Arizona and Dean attempted a song, as did Jo and Jake.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

Arizona had left with Ellie around ten and Alexis was sitting at the bar. Sam, Dean, Ryan, and Jake were playing pool and Bobby was watching them with an amused look on his face. Jo grabs a seat next to her sister as Ellen walks over.

"So, mom," Alexis begins, "I was wondering if you wanted to own the place again, well, co-own with Arizona."

"I'd love to, Lex. But I don't think it'll be like the last time. I think I'll balance hunting with being here." Ellen says.

"Yeah, that's why I asked Arizona if she'd want to be here full time. She said she'd love to."

"Then its settled." her mother says.

"Is that the original sign?" Jo asks a few minutes later, pointing at the sign that used to belong to Ash.

"Yeah, it is. Oddly enough, it came out of the fire relatively unscathed."

"I like it." Jo says.

The group of hunters spend the rest of the night playing games, talking, and drinking. Two days later, Alexis was back on the road with Sam and Dean headed for a hunt in Iowa.

* * *

_A/N: This chapter took me longer than usual, and I'm not too happy with it. I had major writer's block and just couldn't seem to write it. I also have never written a sex scene before, so I did what I was comfortable with, which wasn't much. Hopefully it's not awful. Also, I don't know if its plausible that the roadhouse was rebuilt that fast, but that's how I wrote it. This chapter helped me get back on track with the timeline though, which I had really screwed up. So when the next chapter starts, it will be beginning of November with episode 3x7, Fresh Blood. Let me know what you think of the chapter! If you missed it, here's my note about the timeline: _

_So I had been going off of supernaturalwiki's timeline and it's been down recently, but is now back up. I've definitely not allowed enough time to pass since the roadhouse fire, so I'm going to be editing everything from 13, the healing chapter, and further and tweaking dates and things like that. Go back and read them if you want. I'm going to switch up the show timeline a bit. According to supernaturalwiki, there's like a three month jump between 3x4 and 3x5 (early July to late October), so I'll probably move stuff around in there. _


	17. Not Enough

_A/N: This chapter covers 3x7, Fresh Blood, and 3x10, Dream A Little Dream Of Me. It skips over 3x8, A Very Supernatural Christmas, and 3x9, Malleus Maleficarum. Next chapter will include 3x11, Mystery Spot, and 3x12, Jus In Bello. Also, some of the lines are directly from the show, but most are altered or entirely original._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters in it. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 17: Not Enough**

The Winchesters and Alexis have spent their time hunting since Alexis' birthday. Currently they were tracking a vampire, hoping to find the nest. They manage to trap her and interrogate her. The vampire, Lucy, claims she has no idea what they're talking about. She explains that she took something and had no idea what was going on. _So much for finding the nest through her _Alexis thinks. Lucy did, however, tell them about some Deacon or Dixon guy at the club Spider who was dealing vampire blood.

Alexis felt for the girl in a way, she had no idea what was going on and they were going to have to kill her. That night, after taking care of Lucy, the three hunters head to check out the club and see if they could find this Dixon guy. As they walk out of the club, Dean spots a guy and a blonde heading down an alley. As they got closer, they could tell it was definitely the vamp blood dealer. Unfortunately, the guy gets away and Gordon Walker shows up. _Can this day get any worse? Should've shot the guy more than once apparently. _Gordon and who ever he was with immediately begin firing, causing the three hunters to duck behind a wall.

"You two run, I'll draw em' off." Dean commands.

"What?" Alexis says as Sam replies, "Are you crazy?" at the same time.

Miraculously, the three hunters get out unscathed and meet back at the motel room. When Sam asks how Gordon knew how to find us, Dean realizes it was Bela.

"That bitch." Alexis and Dean say simultaneously.

As they're sitting cleaning weapons, Sam says, "The vampire is still out there."

"Yeah, but first things first." Dean says.

"Gordon." All three say at once.

"About that, when we find him or when he finds us, he's not leaving us a whole lot of options." Dean says.

"Yeah, I know. We gotta kill him." the younger Winchester replies.

Alexis did a double take, not sure she heard him right. She knew that's what they probably would have to do, but hearing it from Sam seemed weird.

"Really? Just like that?" Dean asks.

Apparently he was thinking the same thing.

"Gordon's not going to stop until we're dead or until he is." Sam says.

After that, Dean's phone rings. Alexis could hear Bela's accent through the phone. _Her again. At least she has Gordon's location. _They get to the warehouse location that Bela had given them only to find the vampire blood dealer that they'd seen earlier and no Gordon. From the looks of the warehouse, they now had a missing vampire hunter turned vampire on their hands. _Fucking perfect, _Alexis thinks to herself.

The next morning, the three check everywhere for Gordon, only to come up with nothing.

"Alright, you two stay here. I'm going after Gordon." Dean says eventually.

"What?" Sam asks, as Alexis says, "No way. There's no way you're going after him alone."

"Lex is right, Dean. You can't just leave us here and go after him on your own." Sam says.

"I don't need your permission. Besides, he wants you dead Sammy, probably you too, Lex, but not me. He's also turbo charged. I want you to stay out of harms way. I'll take care of it." Dean insists, loading his gun.

"Dean, you're not going by yourself. You're going to get yourself killed." Sam says.

"No way in hell are you leaving me here." Alexis says.

She moves towards her weapons as Sam and Dean continue to argue. There was no way she was being left in this crappy motel room, no use arguing about it. It turned into one of those Winchester brother moments that made her feel like an outsider, like she didn't truly fit in there with them. She tried to shake it off and just walks outside to let them finish talking without her listening in.

A few minutes later Sam walks out, "Would you come back in? Being out in the open isn't the best idea."

"Are you two done?" she asks.

"Yeah. You didn't have to come out here, you know." he tells her.

"You don't need me hearing everything all the time."

"Just come back in."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." she says as the two walk back inside.

"So we're just staying here for the night?" she asks once the door is closed.

"That's the plan." Dean tells her.

The three spent the next few hours basically barricaded in and bored beyond belief until a phone rings. Somehow Gordon had gotten Dean's new number and called him. He told them where and when to meet him and if they didn't, he'd kill the girl he'd taken captive.

As they walk into the warehouse, Alexis got the overwhelming feeling that this was going to go very wrong. It was a trap for the most part, but they had no choice. They manage to find the girl and Dean lifts her up as he says, "Stay close. Both of you." Suddenly a door descends from the ceiling, cutting Alexis and Sam off from Dean.

"Sam! Lex!" Dean says as he pounds on the door.

"Fuck." Alexis exclaims.

"Stay close." Sam tells her as he steps in front of her.

She hears Dean say, "Be careful." from the other side of the door and then the lights go out.

Sam immediately reaches back and grabs Alexis' arm with one hand, pulling her closer to him, and has his machete ready in the other hand. "Gordon. You've got me where you want me, let Lex go and you and I can talk." Sam says.

"Gordo, come out come out wherever you are." Alexis says, knowing he wouldn't let either of them go. She let him go last time but he wasn't going to be so lucky this time.

"I'm right here Sam." Gordon says all of a sudden. He had appeared right behind Alexis and forcefully throws her against a wall. "I'll deal with you later." he says as he heads for Sam.

"Lex!" Sam shouts.

She couldn't see anything and she more than likely had a concussion. _Damn him and his supernatural strength. _"Sam, I'm okay." she manages to say.

She could barely hear them as her thoughts were focused on not closing her eyes and trying to determine if she was bleeding. She felt something sharp near the back of her hip and could feel a trail of warm blood running down and pooling on the floor behind her. _Bleeding around a vampire. Just fucking great, _she thinks to herself as she tries to move herself away from the protruding sharp object on the wall. She could still hear two voices getting further away, so they were both still standing. Then she heard a gunshot from somewhere else in the warehouse. _He probably turned the girl, leaving Dean to kill her with the colt. _She still couldn't see anything, so she decided it was probably best not to move. Gordon could smell her from miles away anyway. _Why couldn't night vision be one of my powers?_ she thinks to herself. Soon she hears a loud crash followed by two more. _Well that's never good._

A few minutes later she hears both brothers shouting her name followed by footsteps.

"Lex!" Sam shouts as he sees her.

Both Winchesters are immediately kneeling down next to her.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks, eyes scanning over her and concern flooding his face.

Dean spots the small blood pool behind her and says, "You're bleeding."

"So are you two." she responds.

"Lex, there's a pool of blood behind you." Sam says as he notices what Dean did.

"Let's just get out of here." she says, trying to get them to leave it be even though she knew her effort was futile.

Sam lifts her up and carries her outside before setting her down under a street lamp so they could fully see her.

"The blood is coming from your back. Let me see." Sam tells her.

She hikes up her shirt a bit and Sam brings his hand to the wound.

"This might need stitches, Lex." he says.

"I'm fine. I probably have a concussion, but I'm okay. Let's just get out of here, okay?" she asks.

"Fine. But you're letting me clean that up back at the motel." Sam says.

Once they get back, Dean begins packing as Sam makes Alexis take her shirt off and let him fix her up.

"Sam, a butterfly band-aid or two should be fine. It doesn't need stitches." she tells him.

"I don't know, Lex." he says.

"Dean, will you tell Sam it doesn't need stitches?" she says.

The older Winchester walks over to see the gash on her back. "She could probably go without stitches, Sammy." Dean says.

"Good. No stitches." she says triumphantly.

"Fine." Sam says with a sigh as he reaches for the butterfly band-aids.

Within the hour, they were on their way out of town.

* * *

The three continued taking whatever hunts came their way up until the week of Christmas. Dean had come across some hunt in Michigan, Ypsilanti to be exact. It was the town right next to Kyle's.

"I think I'm going to sit this one out. Go see my mom and Jo." she tells them.

"You sure?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, just drop me off at a bus station and I'll head to Chicago, grab a car, then go to the roadhouse."

"If that's what you want. I'm going to grab some food." Dean says as he heads out the door.

"You sure you don't want to come?" Sam asks her as he walks over.

"Yeah. It's almost Christmas, which isn't the best time of year for me anymore anyway. And I, uh, haven't been back to Michigan since..." she trails off.

A dark look crosses Sam's face as he says, "Since Kyle."

"Yeah. And he's in the town over from Ypsilanti. I'd rather just not go."

"Okay. But you'll meet back up with us after?" Sam asks.

"Actually, I was thinking not until mid January." she tells him.

His face falls a bit as he asks, "Why?"

"It's coming up on the two year anniversary of Zac's death and I'd like to visit his grave this year since I didn't last year."

Sam nods in understanding. "Alright, but after that then?" he asks.

"Yes, after that. It's only about three weeks." she says.

Sam sighs, "A lot can happen in three weeks."

* * *

Alexis ended up staying in Chicago instead of going to see her sister and mother. Since Zac died, she preferred being alone around Christmas and New Years. Ryan called her on the 26th saying they were in Wisconsin and could use her help so she joined them and was back on New Year's Eve. It was January 12th when Sam and Dean surprised her in Chicago. They'd just finished a hunt with a coven of witches and headed back for her early. Sam even went with her to visit Zac's grave.

**Aubrey Hills Cemetery, Chicago, IL. January 13th, 2008. **

"Hey, Zac." Alexis says as she walks up to his grave. "If you can see me, you're probably saying how I haven't visited in a while. Well, I'm here now. And I've got someone I'd like you to meet."

"This is my boyfriend, Sam. And I'm pretty sure you'd threaten him with some form of bodily harm if you were here, but I think he knows I could kick his ass if I needed to." she says as Sam lets out a small laugh.

"Can you give me a few minutes?" she asks him.

He nods and walks a few feet away.

"You've been gone for two years now. It hasn't gotten easier, Zac. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and how it should have been me. You'd tell me I'm crazy for saying that, but I believe it. You could've done so much if you were still here, Zac. I'm just a hunter. I wouldn't have been as big of a loss. You were, and still are, my best friend. I would've done anything to change that accident. But I can't, and I know that. That doesn't mean I don't miss you every damn day, and that's not going to stop anytime soon. I love you, Zac." she says as she places a white rose on his grave.

Alexis then turns to Sam and makes her way over to him. He puts his arm around her shoulder and asks, "You okay?"

"Yeah, let's go." she says.

"I know I didn't know Zac, but I'm glad you're still here Lex. It would've been a big loss had you died in that accident. You're important and you make a difference, you need to believe that."

"You didn't even know me then, Sam. Had I died, you never would have. And I'm just one hunter, I don't matter that much."

Sam stops and turns to face her, placing both of his hands on her shoulders. "Why do you think so little of yourself? You do matter, Lex. You matter to me, Dean, Bobby, your mom, Jo, Ryan, I could keep going. You save people. Had you died in that accident, Dean or I probably would've died that time Gordon had him. Ryan and Jake probably wouldn't have gotten away from those demons alive that time in Indiana. Ellie probably wouldn't be alive either. You matter, Alexis." he tells her, not once breaking eye contact.

She knows Sam has a point, but she's never believed she was important, and that didn't seem like it was changing anytime soon. She's always been the baby of the family, the hunter who people looked after, not good enough, not smart enough, just not enough. Plus, she was practically a wrecking ball. Everything and everyone that was close to her got destroyed, her father, her brother, Zac, Riley, Alec, the roadhouse, Ash, everything. So instead of responding, she just shakes her head and wriggles out of his grasp.

"Let's just get out of here." Alexis says.

Sam sighs as he opens the car door.

Once they're both in the car, Sam grabs the keys. Apparently he wasn't going to let this go. "Sam..." she says.

"No. I don't get it. I don't understand how you can look at yourself and not see what I see. How you think you don't matter. Talk to me, Lex. What's going on with you?" Sam tells her, concern and sadness etched across his face.

"What's there to see, Sam? I'm a hunter who loses more people than I save. I'm basically a wrecking ball. Everything I touch gets destroyed. Hell, I don't even know what it is you see in me or why you and Dean haven't left yet, before it's too late." Alexis says.

"What's there to see? You're a hunter who saves as many people as she can. You are not a wrecking ball. Your father, your brother, Ash, Zac, none of that is your fault." Sam firmly tells her and then pauses, choosing his next words carefully. "And what I see in you? I see a strong, beautiful, smart, talented, hunter. One who could probably kick my ass if you caught me off guard. And when you laugh, it's contagious. You don't laugh enough, and you should." he tells her, eyes searching hers.

At his last words, she turns away from him. He reaches his hand out and cups her chin, turning her head back to face him. "What is it?" he asks.

She shakes her head. "It's just, that was basically the last thing Zac said to me. He said I looked beautiful when I laughed and I don't laugh enough. A minute later, he was gone."

"Lex, I'm sorry. I didn't know." Sam says.

"I know you didn't."

"He was right though. You should laugh more." he says. "Hey, look at me. I need you to believe me when I say you matter, Lex. You do, so much, especially to me. I love you. If you don't think you matter, you'll be more reckless. And I don't want to lose you. I can't." Sam adds sincerely, eyes pleading her to believe him.

"I can't, Sam. Because I've never mattered. For 22 years, I've never been enough. There was always someone better. I'm the baby of the family, the hunter who people looked after or didn't take seriously. I'm the second or third or fourth choice, never the first. So as much as I may want to believe what you're telling me, I can't. Because I've thought the opposite my whole life, and that's not easy to change. But I promise you won't lose me, okay? I love you too and I'm not going anywhere." she says, bringing her eyes to his.

"You are enough. And you do matter. I will remind you of that as much as I need to until you believe it." Sam says, his hand squeezing hers.

She nods and then says, "We should get going now."

**Chicago, IL. January 16th, 2008. **

The three hunters had ended up staying at Alexis' apartment for a few more days since they didn't have any leads on hunts. One afternoon, Dean knocks on her bedroom door.

"Yeah?" she asks, stepping out of her closet.

"Have you seen Sam?" he asks her. "And where were you?" he adds, pointing to where she just came from.

"Sam went to a bar I think. It's 2 in the afternoon, which I thought was odd, but whatever. And I came from my bathroom. Have you not seen it? It's through my closet." she tells him.

"Seriously? That's cool, but a bar? He went to a bar? Do you know which one?" he asks her.

"I think so. Come on, we'll go find him." she says, walking towards the door.

Fifteen minutes later, they're walking into a bar. Sam's sitting at the bar drinking whiskey. "You're drinking whiskey at two in the afternoon?" Dean asks as he and Alexis walk over to him.

"I drink whiskey all the time." Sam says.

"No you don't." both Dean and Alexis say.

"What's the big deal? You get sloppy at bars all the time. Why can't I?" Sam asks Dean.

Alexis could tell this was a brother thing so she grabs the seat next to Sam and orders a drink, letting the two talk. When she glances at Sam, she could see the sadness in his eyes.

"I tried, Dean. I tried to save you." Sam says.

She wanted to tell him everything was going to be okay, but she couldn't. Dean had a few months left and they really couldn't do anything about it. He continues talking as Dean sits down and orders a drink. What Sam says next catches Alexis' attention. It was something very close to what she'd said to Dean months ago.

"But really, no one can save you." Sam begins.

"That's what I've been telling you." Dean says.

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean no one can save you because you don't want to be saved." Sam says.

"Seriously? What is it with you two?" Dean asks.

"What?" Sam says as Alexis turns to face them.

"A few months ago Alexis told me you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, and now you're practically saying the same thing." the older Winchester says.

"That's because it's true Dean." Alexis says.

Sam continues looking at Dean and says, "I mean, how can you care so little about yourself? Both of you for that matter."

No one says anything for a few seconds and then Dean's phone rings. The look on his face tells them something was definitely wrong. Bobby was lying in a coma somewhere in Pittsburgh.

* * *

**Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania**

The three immediately get packed and head to Pittsburgh. The doctor says he seems perfectly healthy but they don't know what's causing the comatose state, so they don't know how to treat it. When they get back to the motel Bobby had been renting, they figure there should be some sign of something to clue them in as to why he was there in the first place, but there was nothing. That is, until Sam opened the closet.

"How about this?" he asks as he pushes clothes away.

There were papers and pictures plastered all over the back wall. They found an obituary of a doctor who went to sleep and never woke up. So it seemed like whatever Bobby was hunting went after him.

"Alright, you two stay here and see what you can make of this." Dean tells them.

"What're you going to do?" Sam asks.

"I'm going to look into the good doctor myself." he says.

"I'm coming with. If this thing got Bobby, it could get you too. You could use another person." Alexis says.

Dean opens his mouth to protest but stops when he sees the determined look on her face, knowing there was no way she was being left behind.

"Fine. Let's go." he says and then turns for the door.

They went to his office and the doctor's lab assistant let them in. Apparently, he had studied sleeping disorders and dreams. Dean, being Dean, managed to find out that the doctor had been doing secret experiments and got the research. The two then head to meet a student who had participated in the study.

"So you were one of his test subjects, correct?" Alexis asks after Dean explained briefly why they were there.

"Yeah." he says as he grabs some beers from his fridge.

He offers them each one, "Unless you're on duty or something."

"I guess I can make an exception." Dean says as he takes the drink.

"I'm good, thanks." Alexis says. _Something seems weird about this guy. _

They do find out that the doctor was studying a syndrome that left people unable to dream. The student, Jeremy, says the doctor gave him some yellow liquid that smelled awful and tasted even worse. He passed out and had a vivid dream, but he hated it so he dropped out. After talking to Jeremy, they decide to head to the hospital.

"Did anything about that guy seem off to you?" Alexis asks as the two are getting in the car.

"He's a stoner. He is off." Dean says.

"No, that's not what I mean. Something just seemed wrong, like he knew more than he was letting on or something." she says.

"The guy is just a college kid who likes to get high." he tells her.

"Maybe, maybe not." she states, more or less to herself.

When they get to the hospital, Alexis calls Sam to let him know that's where they were. Sam had discovered the plant used was known as African Dream Root. According to the legends, it can be used for dream walking. If enough of it is used, it can do a lot more. Essentially kill people in their sleep.

As they're leaving the hospital, Sam mentions that if it were any other case, they'd be calling Bobby for help.

"Let's go talk to him then." Dean says.

Sam doesn't seem to get what he means, but Alexis does. "Wait, that might work." she says.

"What?" Sam asks.

"If we use some of that dream root stuff, we can talk to him inside his head." Dean says.

"You want to go dream walking inside of Bobby's head?" Sam more states than asks.

"Yeah, how bad could it be?"

"Bad." Sam says.

"Bad or not, it's probably our best shot." Alexis adds.

"Yeah, you're both right. But where do we find this stuff?" Sam points out.

"Crap." Dean says after a moment.

"Bela." Alexis concludes.

"Bela? Crap." Sam says.

Oddly enough, Bela came through. She said it was for Bobby because had saved her once in Flagstaff. Either way, they now had African Dream Root.

"You two go in, I'll wait here." Alexis tells them.

"You sure?" Sam asks.

"Yeah. Besides, someone might want to make sure Bela doesn't come in and kill you." she says, a hint of a smile on her face.

"Alright." Dean says.

Soon after they drank it, they passed out. Alexis just watches TV and waits. Some time later, they both wake up.

"Did it work?" she asks.

"I don't know. Let's go see Bobby." Dean says.

Sure enough, it did work. Bobby was awake. Dean stayed back with Bobby while Sam and Alexis went to see if Jeremy was in his dorm.

"I knew there was something off about this guy." Alexis tells Sam as they get out of the car.

"Let's just hope we find him." he says.

When they reach the dorm, they see it's empty.

"He's gone. Perfect." Alexis states.

When they return to the hospital Bobby explains the kid isn't a stoner, he's a genius.

As they're talking, Sam asks, "How'd he get in your head anyways? Isn't he supposed to have some of your DNA?"

"Yeah. Before I knew it was him, he offered me a beer. I drank it. Dumbest friggin thing." Bobby explains.

Dean and Alexis share a look that conveys _oh shit. _

"Oh, I don't know, wasn't that dumb." Dean nervously says.

"Dean you didn't." Sam says.

"I was thirsty." Dean says.

"That's great. Lex, don't tell me you drank one too." the younger Winchester says.

"No, I knew there was something off about that guy, I just knew it. Dammit." Alexis says.

"Well, we better work fast and find this guy. We cannot fall asleep." Bobby says.

Two days and a whole lot of caffeine later, they still have nothing on Jeremy. Alexis had stayed with Bela and Bobby as the brothers went to check out the strip club. Dean decided he would sleep, let Jeremy come to them and with the help of Sam, they managed to get rid of him. The next morning, they discover Bela took the Colt.

Pretty soon after that, they were packed and in the Impala. It was then that Dean finally admits he didn't want to die.

"I don't want to go to Hell." Dean says.

"Alright, we'll find a way to save you." Sam assures his older brother.

"Okay, good." Dean says.

Alexis couldn't help but feel like there was no escape and she was just waiting for the bomb to explode. She wasn't sure they'd save Dean, and she knew if Dean died, she'd lose Sam too. It was just a matter of when, and she hated it. Things were going to get bad, and the only thing she could do was sit back and watch the inevitable happen. Come May, she felt her life as she knew it would be over. If only she knew how right she truly was.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry this took me three days to upload, I had a bit of writer's block. I hope you like the chapter. Let me know what you think! Your reviews really help me so anything you can think of would be greatly appreciated._


	18. The Inevitable

_A/N: I ended up covering the Mystery Spot all the way up to No Rest For The Wicked. Most of the __episodes in-between either didn't work to put Alexis into, or didn't interest me enough to do so. I'll do one chapter that will cover the four months Dean is dead before starting season 4._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 18: The Inevitable**

A few weeks later on a late Monday night, they pull into a motel in Broward County, Florida. There was some place called Mystery Spot that they were going to check out. The next morning, Sam was acting crazy. He was practically out of his mind, saying the day had happened before. He knew what would happen and what they were going to say. Alexis had no idea what was going on, that is until they walked into a diner for breakfast. She immediately spots wings at the counter. They looked exactly like Gabriel's, and with what Sam was saying and how he was acting, it had to be him. He looked like a normal guy, except for well, the wings. She was the only one who could see them though. Sam seemed to have caught on too.

_How many Tuesdays has he had? _she wonders. Truthfully, she just wanted to kick Gabe's ass for messing with Sam. When Gabe, or whoever he was pretending to be, got up to leave, Sam follows him. Alexis and Dean quickly get up and follow him too. As soon as they were about a block away, Sam throws the guy up against a fence and puts a wooden stake to his neck. Gabe acts like he wasn't himself, like he was an innocent guy, but Sam knew. Alexis could tell Dean was uneasy with it, but Sam wasn't giving up. Gabriel might as well give himself up. Eventually, he morphs back into himself after Sam says they've killed a trickster before. "Actually bucko, you didn't." Gabe says with a smirk. He claims its fun to mess with them.

"So this is fun for you? Killing Dean over and over again?" Sam asks.

Alexis felt bad for him, having to watch Dean die a different way for who knows how many Tuesdays.

"One, yes it is fun. And two, this is so not about killing Dean. This joke is on you, Sam. Watching your brother die everyday, forever. How long will it take you to realize you can't save your brother no matter what?" the angel continues.

Alexis was silently getting angrier by the minute. She had picked up some more holy oil from Missouri a few months ago and was most definitely putting it to use later. After Sam threatens to kill him, which he actually can't do, the 'trickster' says Sam will be out of it the next morning. They spend the rest of the day in town to make sure Sam didn't have anymore repeating Tuesdays. Though she was pretty sure if he did, she and Dean wouldn't remember any of the others.

That night, sometime after the boys had both fallen asleep, Alexis slips out of the motel room. She leaves a note that reads, _Went for a walk - Lex._

It was around one am when she pulls the Impala into an abandoned building's lot. She quickly sets up the ring of holy oil and reads off the summoning chant.

"Alexis Harvelle. Why am I not surprised?" Gabriel says, as the ring of fire ignites around him.

"Can it, Gabriel. What the hell are you doing to Sam?" she demands, pulling out the angel blade.

"Okay, okay, put that away and I'll talk." Gabe says.

"I don't think so. Talk now." she says, glaring at him.

"I just put him through a lot of Tuesdays where Dean dies at the end of every single one, and then made him go six months with Dean dead. He's smart though, figured it out and was determined to find me and make me bring Dean back, you too of course." Gabe explains.

"You put him through six months of Dean being dead?! And what the hell do you mean me too?" Alexis shouts.

"Oh don't go getting all mad. Dean's going to die, and you and your little boyfriend can't do anything about it. You know it, too. Dean will die, and if you stick around long enough, you will too, Alexis. You should leave now, while you still can." the archangel explains.

"Don't go getting all mad?! You've been torturing my boyfriend! And if I die, so be it. I'm not leaving Sam or Dean. No way in hell." she says, still enraged.

"Oh come on, Alexis. Leave! It's what you do best, isn't it?" Gabe says.

An eerily calm look appears on Alexis' face as she says, "I think you may want to be a little nicer to the girl holding the weapon that can kill you, Gabriel."

A hint of fear crosses Gabriel's face but is quickly replaced. "Anyone ever tell you that you can be damn scary?" he asks.

She just stares him down, blade in hand.

"Alright, alright. Sam will wake up tomorrow and it will be Wednesday. No more messing with him. Dean will still die, and if you don't leave, you will too Alexis. I strongly advise you to change your mind and get out while you can." Gabe says, holding his hands up in surrender.

"No more messing with Sam, or Dean for that matter, or I will kill you. Got it? And I'm not leaving, not a chance." she says.

"It's your funeral." the archangel says as Alexis extinguishes the fire. Gabe poofs out and Alexis is left standing alone.

She gets back to the motel just before two in the morning and decides there was no way she was going to be able to sleep. She ends up resting her head on Sam's chest and listening to his heartbeat until the sun comes up. When Sam wakes up and realizes it was Wednesday he immediately hugs Dean and then Alexis. He looked relieved but also traumatized. Sam then asks the two other hunters what they remembered about the day before and they told him. Sam didn't elaborate on what Gabe had put him through, and she didn't push him. The three headed out of town quickly that morning, Sam not once letting either of them out of his sight.

* * *

The three had finished a hunt when they got a lead on Bela in Colorado. Alexis decided she'd sit this one out and headed back to Bobby's to finally finish the car she'd been working on forever.

A few days later, early on the morning of Valentine's Day actually, Sam calls Alexis.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Lex, are you and Bobby okay?" Sam asks.

"Um yeah, what's going on Sam?" she asks him.

"The lead on Bela was a trap. Bela trapped us, sent the FBI agent that's been after us to us and got us locked up. Somehow, demons ended up surrounding the place, trapping us and everyone else inside. Ruby showed up and offered a way out, but it involved killing someone, so we came up with our own way out. Dean and I got out, but somehow everyone at the station got killed anyway thanks to this head demon, Lilith. Everyone there died because of me last night, Lex." he explains.

"Oh Sam, I'm so sorry. Bobby and I are okay though. No demons came here. Why don't you two head back here?" Alexis says.

"We're on our way." is all he says. "And Lex?" he adds.

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Happy Valentine's Day." he tells her, his voice indicating there was a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, you too Sam. I'll see you soon." Alexis says, a small smile on her face as well.

Around two weeks later, Alexis had her first Ghostfacer encounter. It was awful. They had absolutely no idea what they were doing and most of them kept hitting on her. It became comical to her and Dean, but it just pissed Sam off. To top it off, the idiots were filming a reality show pilot. Unfortunately, they didn't all make it out alive. One of their friends died. Despite the fact that Alexis really didn't like them, one of them dying was still sad and she felt sorry for them. After the hunt, the Ghostfacers played the pilot episode for the three hunters, who slyly erased the whole thing. There was no way they could have that possibly getting out. Around mid-March, Alexis got a call from Jake, saying he and Ryan could really use her help on a hunt. She ended up joining them, missing out on the hunt that Sam and Dean found, which turned out to be a Crocotta. From how Sam explained it, it sounding like a difficult case and Alexis was kind of glad she didn't work it with them. Alexis went on another two hunts with Ryan and Jake before meeting back up with Sam and Dean around mid-April. They were very quickly approaching the end of Dean's year and still had no way to get him out. Everyone was on edge and Alexis felt like her world was crumbling around her as she stood helplessly watching it. She couldn't help but remember Gabriel's warning. If she was still around when Dean died, she'd be dead soon after. She couldn't tell anyone, so she was left to think about it on her own. The next two weeks were intense. By the time the first of May rolled around, everyone was freaking out in one way or another.

* * *

They were down to thirty hours when Sam announces Bobby had found a way to locate Lilith. Needless to say, the three hightailed it to Bobby's and he showed them how to find Lilith.

New Harmony, Indiana. The bitch was in Indiana. _Of all states she could be in she picks Indiana? Really? Boring, _Alexis thinks to herself. Sam was ready to go, but Dean was clearly apprehensive. Alexis sided more with Dean on this. They weren't truly sure Lilith held Dean's contract. It was off of Bela's word, and as Dean had said, "When that bitch breaths, the air comes out crooked." Dean also pointed out they had no idea how to kill Lilith, and Lilith also wanted Sam dead. Alexis kept her mouth shut as she knew whatever she said would get her on the bad side of one Winchester. Agree with Dean and cross Sam, agree with Sam and cross Dean. She was almost entirely sure there was no saving Dean, despite how much she wished there was. Dean was going to die and Sam was going to be left in a devastating state of grief, which will fuel revenge. That runs in the Winchester blood. Revenge driven by grief. John went after the demon that killed Mary, Sam went after it because it killed Mary and Jess, and Dean went after it because it killed Mary. When Jake killed Sam, Dean wanted the kid dead, and when Sam came back, he killed him himself. Then, with Gabriel, when he killed Dean and made Sam go months without him, he was out for revenge on Gabe. So Alexis figured that after Dean died, Sam would go after Lilith, more than likely without her. And if what Gabe said was true, she'd die soon too. It was only a matter of time. Sam and Dean began fighting, mainly over Ruby. This was one thing she hated. Seeing the two of them fight, especially this close to the end of the deal. Dean ended it by saying, "You guys want to save me, find something else." Alexis was torn between comforting and helping Sam and talking to Dean. She could see they were both scared, possibly Dean more than Sam. Sam walked out and Alexis decided to walk over to Dean.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?" he asks her as she pulls up a chair, defeat evident in his voice.

Alexis doesn't say anything.

"That's what I thought." he says, trying to keep his composure.

"I'm sorry, Dean." she says.

"Not your fault. You gotta promise me something though, Lex." Dean says.

"What?" she asks.

"You need to look after Sam. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid and get himself killed. You're good for him and he's going to need you."

"I'll try, but I can't promise you anything." Alexis says sadly.

"What? Why?" he asks, eyes locked on hers.

"If he wants to do something, he will. You know how you Winchesters are with grief. You find something to take revenge on. Picture how you felt when Sam died. Sam's going to go through that, except he won't be able to make a deal I'm guessing. He'll have to live with you gone, Dean. He's going to go after Lilith, and I have a strong feeling he's going to do it alone. I'll be there for him if he'll let me, but if he won't, there's not much I can do about it. I'm sorry." she tells him.

"You're smart, you know that? I didn't even think of any of that. Do what you can, and don't get yourself killed either, okay?" Dean says.

"I'll try. I really wish we could save you, Dean. I just don't think we can. We might want to take our shot with Lilith while we can though." Alexis says.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." he admits.

The two get up to go find Sam and find that he had summoned Ruby. Dean got into it with Ruby, naturally. A fight broke out, but Dean managed to get Ruby's knife and trap her.

Alexis felt like she was practically crawling out of her skin. Sam wanted to see if what Ruby had said would help, if he could truly kill Lilith. Dean didn't. She felt like they were stuck between a rock and a hard place. They were in a lose-lose situation, and she knew it. Then, one of the two got the bright idea to go after Lilith without Bobby. _Like that would actually work. _They probably would've tried to leave her too if they thought they could.

Alexis ends up falling asleep in the back of the Impala an hour into the drive. She was woken up to Bon Jovi being blasted through the speakers and both brothers singing along. A cop pulls them over soon after which was when Dean discovers he could see a demon's real face. They eventually get to the town to find it crawling with demons. They take out a few of them while Bobby rigged the sprinkler system to spray holy water.

Ruby somehow shows up, demanding her knife. The three hunters and Ruby then manage to make it into the house where Lilith was. One man jumps out and says his daughter isn't his daughter anymore. They order him to go to the basement, but he protests. So Dean knocks him out and the two younger hunters, and Ruby, head upstairs. Ruby goes into one room while Sam and Alexis check another. The girl and her mother were in there. But before Sam stabs the girl, Dean rushes in and says Lilith isn't in the little girl anymore. Dean gets them to the basement and the three hunters plus Ruby are left alone, having no idea where Lilith had went.

Dean and Sam have a final conversation and then the clock chimes 12. The three hunters all have tears in their eyes and Ruby says, "I'm sorry, Dean. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy."

Dean spots a hellhound and they break into a run, narrowly avoiding it. Ruby demands the knife, but Dean realizes it's no longer Ruby. It's Lilith. She physically throws Sam against a wall, knocks Alexis back, and uses her demonic powers to throw Dean into a table. Lilith's eyes flash white as she says she sent Ruby away.

The demon turns to Sam, "Hello Sam. I've wanted to meet you for a very long time."

She gets closer to him and presses a kiss to his lips. Alexis was stuck against the wall across from Sam, she couldn't do anything. Most demons couldn't use their power on her, but apparently Lilith was stronger, higher up, and could. She spots the demon knife on the ground and focuses on it, trying to use her telekinesis to get it off the ground and plunge it into Ruby, well, Lilith. Unfortunately, Lilith notices it as it's in mid air and whirls around to grab it.

"Now that's not very nice." she says, facing Alexis. "Alexis Harvelle. I've heard a lot about you too. You're right behind Sam on my list."

"Lucky me." Alexis says, voice laced with sarcasm.

"Well, this has been fun, but Dean's got a date with some hellhounds." the demon says as she walks to the door.

Alexis and Sam watch helplessly from the wall as hellhounds tear into Dean. Lilith then tries to fire this bright white light at the both of them, but fails. Both of them fall from the wall, but nothing else happens. Fear crosses the demon's face as she backs up, watching the two hunters stand up. Sam picks up the knife and heads for her, but Lilith smokes out before he could kill her. The blonde falls to the ground and Sam and Alexis are left alone, with Dean's dead body on the floor, ripped to shreds. Sam walks over and pulls Dean into his lap, tears beginning to fall down his face. Alexis walks over to him and places her hand on his shoulder as a few tears escape her eyes. Sam lets his head fall back onto Alexis as he cries and she just holds him, unable to form any words. Dean was gone.

* * *

_A/N: This chapter was shorter than the past few have been. I really wanted to get this season over with, so as I was writing it just worked out better for me to end it now. I know exactly what I want to do for the next chapter, so it should be up tomorrow. Please let me know what you think!_


	19. Drowning On Dry Land

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 19: Drowning on Dry Land**

Dean's been dead for almost a week. They buried him today, as Sam had insisted he would be back. Alexis knew she was losing Sam. At night, she'd hold him if he needed it, but he spent his days drinking and trying to find a way to get Dean back. They'd barely spoken, and when they did it wasn't exactly pleasant. A few days after they buried Dean, the two had a conversation that Alexis had known was inevitable. Sam had decided he was going to go out on his own and find Lilith, find a way to get Dean back.

"Sam, let me go with you." she says.

"No. No. I need to get my brother back." he says.

"Sam..."

"No, Alexis. You don't get it, what it's like for me. You need to stay here, let me go. I need to do this on my own." he says, avoiding her eyes.

She pushes back the tears welling up and says, "Fine. You know where to find me."

She walks closer to him, places one last kiss on his lips, and says, "Just be careful, Sam."

Sam nods slightly and then walks out the door, not knowing it would be the last time he saw her.

His words hurt her more than she'd expected. She didn't think he'd tell her that she didn't know what it was like, because she did. She lost her older brother when she was 8.

Alexis went back to Bobby's and spent the next few weeks there. She spent her time doing busywork. Organizing books, cooking, finishing up the car she had there, things like that. She felt numb and lost. Her world had been ripped away from her and she didn't know what to do. She'd been drinking more than usual and spent more nights at a bar than she did at Bobby's. She tried to distract herself with random guys and alcohol, but it didn't work. No matter what guy she'd find to hook up with, none of them were Sam and none of them could make her forget about him. He hadn't even called once, and didn't answer any of her or Bobby's calls either. He basically fell of the grid. So more often than not, Alexis found herself worrying about him. She knew he was going after Lilith, she just hoped he wasn't stupid enough to go in unprepared.

One night, June 3rd to be exact, Alexis had gone out to pick up something from the grocery store in town. While she was out, a storm had blown up. The roads got a bit sloppy, but Alexis figured she'd be fine getting back to Bobby's. As she came up to a bridge that crossed over water, a car came out of nowhere, driving on the wrong side of the road, headed straight for her. She instinctually swerved, but the roads were slippery and she went right over the edge and plunged into the choppy water. The car quickly began filling with water and Alexis tried to get out, but she couldn't._ If I die, maybe I'll see everyone again. I can see Zac again, run into my big brother's arms. Hear my dad's voice. Death doesn't sound so bad._ She was running out of breath when she finally just gave up. She let the darkness overcome her and she slipped away. She was finally at rest, or so she thought.

**Sioux Falls, South Dakota - June 4th, 2008. Bobby-centric POV**

Alexis hadn't returned and Bobby was really starting to worry since he couldn't reach her. He'd hoped that she crashed at a bar drunk somewhere, as it wouldn't be the first time in the past month and then she'd be safe at least. But that wasn't the case. Around nine that morning, he got a phone call on his landline.

"Hello?" he answers.

"Bobby Singer? This is Sheriff Mills. I'm afraid I have some bad news for you."

Bobby's face pales as he asks, "What is it?"

"Last night there was an accident on the bridge near town. Your niece, Alexis Harvelle, somehow went off the bridge. We found her car at the bottom of the river this morning and pulled it out, I'm afraid she didn't make it out. We'll need you to come down and identify the body, and then we can release her to you for burial. I'm sorry."

He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. She couldn't be dead. She'd just been there not twenty-four hours ago making him lunch. "I'll be down there right away." he manages to say.

Since she started hunting, Ellen had listed Bobby as Alexis' uncle in case he needed to be contacted if she was hurt. This was the first time he'd been called on it, and would be the last. Bobby felt like a father who'd lost all of his kids in a way. Dean was dead, Sam was nowhere to be found, and Alexis was now dead too. They were pretty much his kids.

The older hunter makes his way down to the morgue and solemnly confirms that the body was Alexis. He could tell just by looking at her. Her skin was tinted blue, but she almost looked peaceful. A few tears escape as he mutters, "Dammit kid." They released her to him and Bobby heads back to his house. Alexis had told him once after Zac died that if she were to die from something that wasn't supernatural, she wanted to be buried. He decides to honor her wish and buries her near her favorite spot in the woods near his house.

He then calls Ellen and tells her the horrible news. He could practically hear Ellen's heart break through the phone. He then decides he should try to get a hold of Sam.

Sam actually answers. "Hello?" he asks.

"Sam, it's Bobby."

"Yeah, I know. What is it?" Sam asks, sounding impatient.

"Sam, uh, it's Alexis." Bobby says sadly.

"What? Is she okay? What happened?" Sam asks, his voice now becoming concerned.

"There was an accident last night. Her car went off a bridge and she- she drowned, Sam. She's gone." Bobby says, tears welling up again.

Sam was silent for a moment. "No. No she- she can't be dead." Sam finally says.

"I'm so sorry." Bobby tells him as he hears a broken sob on the other end of the line.

Sam hangs up and Bobby is left alone in solemn silence.

* * *

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

One moment she was drowning and the next she was standing in a park. _What the hell_? She walks around, recognizing it was a park she'd gone to a few times with Matt and Jo. She's not sure how much time has passed, but she hears footsteps.

She whirls around and calls out, "Hello?"

Ash steps into view and she breaks into a sprint, running into his arms. "Ash!" she exclaims as he wraps his arms around her.

"Lexi." he says.

"It's really you?" she asks.

"It's me."

"I'm in Heaven then, aren't I?" Alexis asks.

"Yeah, you are. Now come with me." he says, pulling her along.

The scenery changes suddenly and she's standing in an exact replica of the roadhouse, before it burnt down.

"Welcome to my personal heaven, Lex." Ash says.

"The roadhouse is your heaven?" she asks, looking around.

"Sure is. And lucky for you, I'm a genius and was able to bring you here." Ash tells her.

"Wait, so if you could find me and bring me here, can you do that with other people?" she asks, walking over to the bar.

"Depending on the person, yes I could." he says.

Alexis' face lights up and she asks, "Do you think you could find my dad, Matt, or Zac?"

"Let me see what I can do." Ash says.

Sometime later Ash returns with Matt. Matt looked like he did at the age he died, so she guessed people didn't age in Heaven. Or maybe it was a choice. Who knows?

"Matt!" she shouts as she runs to him.

"Lexi?" he asks.

"It's me, Matty." she says and he pulls her into a hug.

"As glad as I am to see you, I wish I wasn't. That means you're dead, little sister." Matt tells her.

She smiles sadly, "Yeah. I know."

"How'd that happen anyway?" Ash asks.

"Can you see if you can find my dad and Zac first and then I'll explain?" she asks.

"Sure thing, Lexi."

Alexis sits with her brother at the bar.

"So, Lexi, you're definitely not 8 anymore, but you still look young." Matt says.

"22." she says.

Matt frowns and says, "You deserved to live so much longer, Lex. To have a family, see your kids grow up. You and Jo both. Tell me Jo is still alive. Mom too."

"They both are. And I don't think that would've happened, Matty. When I turned 16, I became a hunter."

"What? Lex, why would you do that?" her older brother asks.

"I wanted to. I needed to. Jo's a hunter now too, Mom too actually. The roadhouse burnt down last year, that's how Ash died. I started rebuilding it on your birthday, so Zona is there full time, Mom part time." she says.

"Arizona doesn't hunt anymore?" Matt asks.

"No, she quit after Lea died a few years ago."

"Oh. So both of my little sisters became hunters?" he says as he shakes his head.

"Yep. But I didn't die on a hunt, so don't blame it on that."

"Really?"

"Yep. Car accident."

"Oh."

They continue talking for the longest time until Ash returns with both Zac and her father. For a dead girl, Alexis was extremely happy.

"Daddy!" she exclaims as she runs into his arms.

"Hi baby girl. You grew up." Bill says.

Alexis then launches herself into Zac's arms. "Zac, I'm so happy to see you." she says.

"Oh Lexi, I missed you so much." her best friend tells her.

"Alright. Now what happened, Lex? You're only what, 22? I'd hoped you'd live longer." Ash asks.

"Grab a seat, this may take a while."

Alexis caught her brother and father up on how she'd been hunting and then explained that she'd been with the Winchesters for almost a year. She goes on to mention Dean's deal and how he did die and she lost Sam too.

"So I was alone again, and it was a stormy night and I was out to get something. I'd been staying with Bobby Singer. On my way back, I encountered a car driving the wrong way on a bridge. I swerved and went off and into the water. I drowned. And now I'm here." she finishes.

The four men gape at her. The two that were her family had no idea she was a hunter, and none of them knew about everything with the Winchesters.

"So Dean's dead too? Sam's alone?" Ash asks.

Her heart aches at the thought of Sam. "Yeah." she says sadly.

Matt and Bill were talking for a while, so Alexis sits down with Zac.

"Car crash, huh?" Zac says.

"Yep. Guess we both have bad luck when it comes to cars." Alexis says.

"Guess so. It's good to see you, Lex. It is. I just wish you'd have lived longer."

"Yeah, oh well. I've missed you so much, Zac. You have no idea." she tells her best friend.

"I'm glad it was me driving, Lex. You got to live longer and save more people. You had family still too. They needed you. All I had was you."

"I guess I never saw it that way, I always believed it should have been me, guess I still do. But now, we're both dead so that's that."

Alexis spends a while, two or three weeks probably, catching up with everyone when two men with wings enter. The first was a tall, dark skinned man. There was a man with dark hair and blue eyes wearing a trench coat just behind him. They both had wings, so they were both clearly angels.

"Alexis Harvelle. You are to come with us." the one in the trench coat says.

"You are needed." the other angel announces, both advancing towards her.

They both reach her before she could protest and suddenly she's in a different room.

* * *

"What could angels want with me?" she asks.

"How do you know we're angels?" the trench coat one asks.

"Well, this is Heaven, and I can see your wings." she states.

"Interesting. Well, I am Castiel and this is Uriel. Behind us is Hael, Samandriel, and Hannah. As you know, Dean Winchester is in Hell. What you do not know, is that the apocalypse is near." the trench coat angel, Castiel, says.

"And what can I do?" she asks, entirely suspicious of the room of angels. Gabriel and Ruby had both told her most of them were dicks.

"We are working to raise Dean from perdition. If we cannot reach him in time, we will need you to help stop the seals from breaking. With training, you will be very powerful. Powerful enough to kill Lilith, whose goal is to raise Lucifer, before enough seals break." Castiel continues.

"So you're saying you want to train me to stop the apocalypse and return both Dean and I to Earth?" she asks skeptically.

"Precisely. Now we must begin training." Uriel says.

Alexis has no idea how much time passes until the message "Dean Winchester is saved." is announced. They spent endless hours training her. Her telekinesis was stronger. She could communicate silently with an angel, and could smite demons with her hand. She felt stronger, but also less human. About a month in Earth time before Dean was saved, she was sent to Earth with an angel. No one could see her or the angel, Hael, so she wasn't really alive. None of her senses seemed to work much either. She was, for all intents and purposes, a ghost. Alexis was surprised to see they had sent her to see Sam. What surprised her more was what he was doing. He was ingesting demon blood and exorcising them with his mind, and was working with some brunette demon, whom Alexis presumed was Ruby.

_ Oh Sam, what've you done?_

Hael turns to her and says, "This needs to stop. When you return to Earth, you must stop it, otherwise we'll have to."

She spent that next month between training and invisibly watching Sam. It was torture for her to see him so broken and angry and not be able to do anything about it. He couldn't even see her. He was with that demon in more ways than one, and it killed her to see that. It's not like he was cheating on her, she was dead, but with a demon? That's what hurt.

* * *

One day, Castiel returns to Heaven and tells her, "Alexis. Dean has been saved and you are now needed back on Earth."

She was happy that she'd be going back and that Dean was alive, but that meant they now had the enormous task of stopping the apocalypse. Castiel was summoned later on and he took her with him. Abruptly they were both standing in an abandoned warehouse. There were sigils everywhere. She knew she was invisible, as she felt like she was floating, but Castiel was not. She spots Dean and Bobby, who were firing weapons at Castiel. Dean even plunges the demon knife into him, not that it did anything. When Bobby lunges for him, he simply places his fingers to Bobby's forehead and knock him out.

Castiel turns to Dean and says, "We need to talk, Dean."

He then reaches behind himself, grabbing her arm, as he says, "Alexis, you can come out now."

Suddenly she's visible and she knows it. She can feel the ground below her and smell the air.

Dean moves past Castiel as he asks, "Alexis?"

"It's good to see you, Dean." she says as he pulls her into a hug.

"You have no idea." he mumbles.

He pulls away and faces Castiel again, placing himself slightly in front of Alexis. "Okay, now who the hell are you?" he asks.

Castiel explains how he's an angel and says God has work for him. He then disappears.

"So you were really dead?" Dean asks Alexis.

"Yep." she says.

"When and how?" he asks.

"Sam and Bobby didn't tell you? It was about a month after you died. My car went off a bridge and I drowned." she explains.

"You have terrible luck when it comes to cars." Dean says.

"Yeah."

"So that guy was an angel? Angels are real? And why were you with him?" Dean asks.

"Angels are real. Look, I don't have time to explain this all right now. Bobby's going to wake up soon and I can't be here. You need to keep the fact that I'm alive to yourself." she says.

"Are you kidding me? You want me to not tell Sam that you're alive? What happened to you?" Dean asks.

"I cannot stay. No one is to know I'm alive, not yet. There's something I have to do first. And what happened to me? Dean, you may have been in Hell, but I wasn't exactly in paradise."

"You don't even sound like yourself." he says.

"Perhaps not. I haven't been among humans in nearly three months. Now I must leave. Please don't tell anyone. You'll see me again soon."

"You promise?" he asks as he grabs her wrist, not really wanting her to leave.

"I promise." she says.

She silently calls to Castiel and he invisibly swoops in and zaps her out.

"Take me to the demon Sam Winchester has been working with." she tells the angel.

"As you wish."

Alexis was now standing in a warehouse. She spots a demon tied to a chair and another demon, whom she was assuming was Ruby, nearby.

She could sense demons now if she were in a room with them, which was kind of odd. Sam wasn't there yet, which was good. She wanted to speak to Ruby first.

"Ruby." Alexis says.

"What the hell?" Ruby asks, backing away. "You're dead."

"Do I look dead to you?" Alexis asks.

"Don't come any closer." Ruby says.

"What? Am I scaring you?" she asks.

"You've changed. You're more powerful. Back off." the demon says.

"Now why would I do that? Why shouldn't I just kill the demon who's got Sam ingesting demon blood?" Alexis coolly asks.

Total fear and shock appear on Ruby's face as she asks, "H-how did you know about that?"

"When you're with angels and also dead for a while, you can learn a hell of a lot."

Just then, Sam walks in. "Alexis?" he asks disbelievingly.

She turns to him and says, "Sam."

"You're alive?" Sam asks, staring at her in shock.

"I'm alive."

"Well isn't this a happy reunion. Look, Sam, you've got to pick. I can't be around her. She's changed. Come with me and we'll kill Lilith." Ruby says.

Alexis lets out a tight laugh. "Yeah, go with the demon who has you drinking demon blood. Sam, she's destroying you. I know it allows you to exorcise demons without hurting the human, but I can do that too now, minus the demon blood." Alexis says, walking over to the demon tied to the chair. She places her hand to the demons head and exorcises it.

"How do you know about that? And how did you do that?" Sam asks.

"For the past month, I've been watching you on and off, invisibly of course. I've seen enough. And remember when Missouri said my powers were almost angelic? They are. So that's how." she explains.

"Ruby, go." Sam says.

"You've got to be kidding me. You're picking her over me?" the demon asks in disbelief.

"Go." he says firmly.

"Whatever." she says and walks away, taking the unconscious man that had had a demon in him with her.

"What happened to you?" Sam asks her as he steps slightly closer. "It's a long story. One that you, Dean, and Bobby should hear at the same time." she tells him.

"I'm still me, Sam." she assures him upon seeing his hesitation.

With that, he closes the gap between them and pulls her into a bone-crushing hug. "I missed you so much." he tells her and then kisses her forehead.

"You have no idea how hard it's been to see you and not be able to touch you or talk to you." she admits.

He brings his head to rest on hers, forehead to forehead, and the two just stand there for a while in silence.

"You've changed, Sam." she tells him. It was weird, being able to sense the demon blood in him.

"So have you, Lex." he responds.

"That's not what I mean. The demon blood is changing you. You've got to stop Sam. It's destroying you. And if you don't stop, the angels are going to have to stop you."

"What? Angels said that?" he asks, pulling back slightly so he could fully face her.

"Yeah, they did." she says.

"I'll stop then. I have you and Dean back, I don't need the demon blood." he says, voice laced with determination.

"Lex?" he then asks more quietly, actually looking a bit nervous.

"Yeah?" she asks as she brings her eyes to his.

"I'm sorry. Sorry for leaving you, for walking away, for everything. You didn't deserve that." Sam says.

"It's okay." she tells him.

"No, it's not. But I'll make it up to you. I just want us to still be us." he says.

"You might want to wait on that." she says, moving her eyes to the ground, a hint of sadness in her voice.

He scrunches up his face in confusion and then asks, "Why?"

"You'll see." Alexis says.

"I don't care what it is. I love you, Lex. That's not going to change. When Bobby called me and told me you died, I felt my heart break completely. I had lost Dean and then you too. But now you're back, and I'm not losing you again." he tells her, holding her hand in his.

She nods and says, "You won't."

"Well Dean is probably expecting me. You're staying right?" Sam asks.

"Of course I'm staying." she tells him as she steps closer.

He snakes his arm around her waist and the two walk out of the warehouse.

* * *

Sam and Alexis head back to the motel only to find that Dean had packed everything up and intended to leave that night. When Dean sees Alexis he lets out a sigh of relief.

"You knew she was alive?" Sam asks his older brother.

"Yes. While you were out doing whatever it is you were doing, Bobby and I summoned this Castiel guy and she was with him." Dean explains. "You really have some explaining to do, by the way." Dean tells Alexis.

"Yeah, I know. I'd rather only go through it once though." she says.

"Well, Bobby already headed back. So you're going to have to explain it twice." the older Winchester says, gesturing towards the bed, indicating she sit and talk.

She sighs and takes a seat on the bed and both brothers sit on the bed across from her.

"Start with the day you died. You should've been able to get out of your car, Lex. You can swim and you definitely could've broken the window." Sam says.

"Well, I was out to grab something from the store and by the time I was done, a storm had rolled in. The roads were a bit slippery and the winds were nasty. I came up on a bridge and all of a sudden headlights appeared before me. A car was hurtling towards me, driving on the wrong side of the road. I swerved but lost control and went off." Alexis says, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Well, the car began rapidly filling with water. I panicked but I managed to get out of my seat belt. By then the car was almost entirely submerged in water. I couldn't get the door open and I was completely underwater and running out of breath. I uh, guess I just... stopped fighting." she admits.

Both brothers stare at her in shock.

"But why?" Dean finally asks.

"Why? Because it should have happened two and a half years ago. I should've died instead of or with Zac. So I let the thought of seeing all the people I'd lost again consume and I let go." she says.

Sam looks like he was torn between crying and yelling, but he doesn't say anything.

"Well when I woke up, I was in a park. I walked around for a while until I heard something. It was Ash. That's when I knew I was in Heaven. He uh, brought me back to his personal heaven and said because he was a genius he could 'heaven hop'. He managed to find Zac, Matt, and my dad and bring them all to his heaven. I got to see them all again. Something close to I think two weeks on Earth passed and two angels showed up. Here's the part where you two may get angry with me... I've known angels were real for over a year." Alexis says.

"What?" Dean asks, Sam only giving a questioning look.

"Well, we were on a hunt, the Trickster, remember? He had wings. You two couldn't see them, but I could. That's why I asked for a few minutes with him. I demanded he tell me what he was and why the hell I could see his wings. He explained angels were real and I could see his wings because I was special or something like that. Long story short, my powers are angelic. Just like Sam has demon blood in him, I have angel grace. So after I died, the angels got to me. They said they were working on saving you, Dean, before the first seal broke. They said if it broke, they'd need me to help you two stop the seals from breaking and that they could train me to be more powerful. They said that when they were done, I'd be able to kill Lilith by myself. The first seal broke, so I guess we've got a lot of seals to stop or the apocalypse happens." she explains.

The brothers stare at her for a moment until Dean says, "So the trickster is an angel, and you knew that, but didn't say anything? And we're talking seals and the apocalypse? And they made you more powerful so you could kill Lilith? What does that even mean?"

"Yes, yes, and yes. They trained me vigorously. It was borderline torture most of the time. They're angels, they don't need rest and most don't care about humans, so they were brutal and relentless. I can use my telekinesis much more easily and it's stronger and I can also exorcise demons with the touch of my hand, though it drains me a bit, especially if it's a higher up one." she says.

"Damn." Dean says.

Sam still hasn't said anything.

"Well, I'm going to go grab some grub and then I want to hit the road. Head back to Bobby's." Dean says as he stands up.

"This is why I told you that you might want to wait on saying you wanted us to be us." Alexis tells Sam after Dean leaves.

"You gave up." he says, eyes not meeting hers.

"What?" she asks.

"You stopped trying to get out of your car, you stopped fighting. You let yourself die, Lex. Why would you do that?" he asks her, his eyes that were filled with sadness and disbelief finally meeting hers.

"I didn't have much to live for, Sam. And you know I believe I should've died instead of Zac. There were more pros to me being dead than there were to me being alive." she says.

He shakes his head as a tear runs down his cheek.

"Sam..." she says as she moves to sit next to him.

He looks at her and asks, "If you were back there, in that position again, knowing what you know now, would you still have given up?"

Alexis closes her eyes for a moment and sighs. "Yeah, I would. I got to see my dad again, Sam. I got to see my brother again. I got to see Zac and Ash again. So yes, I would give up again. I would let myself die. But if I were in that position right now, after all of this has happened, no, I wouldn't. We've got an apocalypse to prevent." she says as she brings her thumb up to brush the few tears from his face.

"I just don't want to lose you again." he says.

"I know. You won't." she assures him.

Sam composes himself and then asks, "So we've really got an apocalypse to prevent?"

"Yeah." Alexis says.

"Well, I guess if anyone can do it, it's us. You mentioned angels before, why didn't you tell me when you first met one?" Sam says.

"He made it clear I wasn't to say anything about angels, not then. And I wasn't going to cross an incredibly powerful archangel."

"Archangel? Damn. Yeah, guess I wouldn't either."

"Yeah. Gabriel's probably the nicest one I've met, and that says a lot because he can be a real dick."

"So the trickster is actually the archangel Gabriel. Interesting." he says.

"Yep. Now where is Dean? I'm starving."

"He should be back soon."

**-Sam-centric POV-**

Dean returned soon, the three ate, and within the hour, they were all on the road to Bobby's. Sam decided to sit in the back with Alexis. They'd barely been on the road for an hour when Alexis fell asleep.

"She asleep?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, she is." he answers, glancing at the sleeping girl whose head was in his lap.

"Good. Does she seem okay to you?" the older Winchester asks.

"I'm not really sure. She definitely seems different. But okay? I have no idea." Sam says.

"Yeah. When I first saw her, she didn't even sound like herself. I wonder what they did to her and made her do." his older brother says.

"She hasn't sounded entirely like herself. She hasn't really seemed like herself either. This should never have happened, I shouldn't have left her." he says.

"It's not your fault, Sammy. Had you been there or not, the accident probably still would've happened."

"But had I been there, maybe she wouldn't have given up. She would've lived."

"You can't blame yourself, Sam. It isn't your fault. Maybe you being gone was one factor into her giving up, but so was me being gone, her brother and father, Ash, Zac, everyone she's lost. It happened, but she's here now. You can't blame yourself." Dean says.

"I guess. I just wish I hadn't left. I was a total ass to her and she didn't deserve it. I wish I could take it back." Sam says sadly.

"Well, what's done is done. If you were an ass, I guess you've just got to make that up to her. She came back, Sam. That says a lot." his older brother tells him, glancing in the rearview window.

Sam glances down at Alexis again as he says, "Yeah, you're right."

"You look pretty tired, you should get some sleep too. We've got a long drive anyway." Dean says.

Sam just nods and begins to absentmindedly run his fingers through Alexis' hair. _I will make it up to her. I can't lose her again. I won't._

* * *

_A/N: I will be taking out the whole demon blood thing for the most part, but I'm going to leave Ruby in I think. She's still needed to find Lilith and stuff like that. So this chapter ended up covering 4x1. I will cover 4x2 and mention 4x3 in the next one. I think I'll leave Alexis out of 4x4 and have her visit Ellen and Jo instead. If you have questions or any suggestions, please let me know! You can leave a review, PM me, or message me on tumblr if you want. The link is on my profile. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!_


	20. Broken

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Alexis, Arizona, Ellie, and Kevin.**

* * *

**Chapter 20: Broken**

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

The three hunters make it to Sioux Falls around ten the next morning. Dean had called Bobby fifteen minutes before they got there to let him know Alexis was also back from the dead and with them. Bobby pulls her into a hug immediately and then leads them in. Alexis sits and explains everything that she knew and then Bobby headed to see what he could find on angels. Dean wasn't too happy about the fact that he was somehow special to God. Bobby then hands an unhappy Dean a stack of books on angels.

"You're going to get me some pie." Dean tells his younger brother.

Sam and Alexis leave and head to pick up some lunch, and of course, pie. They had to cross the bridge that Alexis had gone off of to get there.

As they approach it, Sam notices she was starting to get restless and breathing unevenly. "Are you okay?" he asks.

"Uh this was um the uh…" she begins but trails off.

Sam looks ahead and it clicks in his head. "The bridge you went off of." he states as he stops the car.

"Yeah."

"Lex, I'm sorry, I didn't know. I would've gone a different way." he tells her.

"No it's-it's fine, just drive." she insists.

"You sure?"

"Yes. Just go. Please."

Sam nods and pulls back onto the road.

"Can you, uh, stop on the bridge?" she asks him.

Sam glances at her and disbelievingly asks, "You want me to stop on the bridge you died on?"

"Yes."

Sam pulls to the side and stops halfway across the bridge.

Alexis takes a deep breath and opens her door. She goes around the front of the Impala and walks over to the other edge of the bridge. It had been fixed, but there were visible skid marks on the road from her car, none from the other. _The other person didn't even try to stop?_ she thinks to herself. She stands staring down at the water until Sam walks over to her.

"You said another car was driving straight towards you?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"There's no skid marks or anything. It doesn't look like they even tried to stop, just you." he says, his voice laced with anger.

"I know." she responds, eyes still on the water.

As she closes her eyes, she feels her body start to panic. Her heart begins to race and suddenly she couldn't breathe. She could feel herself shaking. It felt like she was back in her car underwater again.

"Lex!" Sam exclaims as he angles her towards him. "Hey, hey, look at me. You're panicking. You've got to breathe."

She locks her panicked eyes on his but can't seem to regulate her breathing.

"Match my breathing okay?" he says, taking one of her hands and placing it on his chest and the other on hers. "Focus on breathing, Lex. You've got to calm yourself down. You're okay. I'm here, you're safe."

Alexis nods and manages to get her breathing back to normal after another minute or two.

"Let's get you out of here." Sam says, guiding her back towards the Impala.

"I'm sorry." she says as they get in the car.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Lex. Having a panic attack at the sight you died is normal, or well would be if people who died came back to life all the time to visit where they died." Sam tells her.

"Yeah, I guess so. Let's just go get lunch." she says as Sam starts the car.

* * *

Dean calls them before they pull into the parking lot to remind Sam not to forget something, especially the pie.

"He really called to make sure you didn't forget the pie?" she asks as they get out of the car.

"Yeah. You don't mess with Dean and his pie." he says with a laugh.

"Well then we better get some." she says, walking towards the door.

When they pull back into Bobby's, he tells them to keep the engine running. Says he has a friend named Olivia that he's worried about, hasn't been able to reach her for three days. He then instructs them to follow him because they were going to check on her. Alexis hops in the back, Sam slides over, and Dean gets in.

They follow Bobby to Olivia's but when they get there, they find her dead. Bobby walks out and the three younger hunters look around. Bobby walks back in after a bit and tells them that he'd called some hunters nearby and none of them had answered.

"Something's up." Sam says.

They split up and got to check on more hunters, all of them turning up dead. Ghosts were suddenly brutally murdering old hunters. Since they had no idea what was going on, they figured it was best to head back to Bobby's.

Later on, they had stopped at a Save &amp; Gas. Sam gets out to fill the car and then heads to the bathroom, leaving Alexis and Dean in the car.

"You remember Hell." Alexis states.

Dean looks back at her and says, "No I don't."

"Yeah you do, I can tell."

Dean stares at her for a minute before he says, "Alright, I do, okay? Just don't tell Sam, I don't need him worrying about it."

"Dean, it's not good to keep that in. You told me once that if I kept everything in, I'd explode. Same thing will happen to you." she says.

"I don't want to talk about it." he replies sternly.

"Fine. I won't push you. But you can talk to me about it if you need to. I wasn't in Hell, but I was dead, and it wasn't exactly peaceful." Alexis tells him.

"Thanks, Lex." he says.

"No problem. I'm glad you're alive, Dean."

"Yeah, I'm glad you're alive too. Part of me feels like Sam almost had it worse though for three months. He lost both of us within a month."

"Yeah. For about a month, half the time I'd be down here watching him invisibly. They sent me to do that. It was awful. He looked so sad and broken and I couldn't do anything about it. I was part of the reason he looked that way." she tells him.

"What was he doing that had angels sending you to watch him?" he asks, clearly curious about how his little brother spent the past four months.

"Doesn't matter, what needed to be stopped was stopped. Ask Sam if you really want to know, he may not tell you though."

Dean opens his mouth to say more but they hear a loud noise come from the bathroom. Dean grabs a gun filled with salt rounds and Alexis pulls her gun out as the two heade towards the bathroom. Sure enough, there was a ghost and Sam was on the floor. Dean shoots the ghost as Alexis runs over to Sam.

"Hey, you okay?" she asks, helping him up.

"Yeah, let's get out of here before he comes back." he says.

When they get in the car Sam explains that it was the ghost of the FBI agent Hendrickson that had been on their case and died in that police station because of Lilith back in February. Dean tries calling Bobby but gets no answer. They get to Bobby's some time after the sun rises and quickly run in, guns out. The three split up, which in hindsight was a bad idea. Dean heads upstairs with Alexis, each of them taking different sides of the house, and Sam heads outside. Alexis was in one of the bedrooms when all of the doors suddenly slam shut. The temperature plummets and Alexis gets the eerie feeling of someone watching her. She whirls around and comes face to face with Kevin. Kevin is, or was, a dick hunter who liked to hit girls around when he got drunk. Before she could shoot, Kevin pins her to the wall.

"Dean!" she shouts.

Seconds later Dean is pounding at the door but can't seem to get in.

"If it isn't little Lexi Harvelle." he says, one arm pressing her neck to the wall, his other hand tracing her face.

She was struggling to breath while trying to figure a way out.

"Isn't this fun? Kind of like the last night we spent together, except this time you're not going to live. You let me die. You basically killed me, so now you get to die. I get to watch the life leave your body and have fun doing it." he says, starting to kiss her.

Dean finally gets the door open and his eyes widen immediately upon seeing the two and he shoots Kevin. As Kevin disappears, Alexis falls to the ground.

"Lex!" Dean says, rushing over to her.

"Come on, we gotta find Bobby. Can you walk?" he asks as he pulls her up.

"Yeah, just need to catch my breath." she says, followed by a cough.

"Okay. Just lean on me for now, we've gotta move now before that dick comes back." he says.

She nods and lets him support her as they make their way out of the room. They meet Sam and Bobby as they get down the stairs.

"Lex!" Sam says upon noticing her leaning on Dean and the red marks surrounding her neck.

He quickly makes his way over to her and asks, "What happened?"

"I'm okay. Let's just figure this out." she tells him.

He looks at her like he wanted to say more, but lets it go.

Bobby explains what happened to him, Dean says he encountered a girl named Meg that had been possessed when they knew her, and Alexis tells them a hunter named Kevin who died on a hunt with her came after her.

"So they're all people we know and couldn't save?" Sam says.

"Or didn't save." Alexis mumbles.

"What?" all three of them ask, turning their heads towards her.

"I may not have entirely wanted to save Kevin." she says.

Dean looks at her with an understanding glance, obviously having heard what the ghost had said to her. Sam looks confused and Bobby asks, "What was this guys last name?"

"Monroe. Kevin Monroe." Alexis says.

"Monroe? Never heard anything good about that guy. Most said he was a drunk and a dick." Bobby says.

Alexis just nods.

"Alright, let's figure this out." Bobby says.

Dean mentions that he saw something on Meg, like a tattoo.

"I saw one on Kevin's hand too. He didn't have that when he was alive I don't think."

"It was almost like a brand." Dean adds.

Recognition crosses Sam's face as he says, "I saw a mark too on Hendrickson."

"What'd it look like?" the older hunter asks.

Sam quickly sketches it out and both Dean and Alexis confirm it was the same mark they saw.

Bobby recognizes it and moves to grab a book off a shelf. The temperature drops and Bobby says, "We've gotta move."

He hands a few books to Sam and then says, "Follow me."

"Okay, where are we going?" Sam asks.

"Panic room?" Alexis asks.

Bobby nods and heads towards the basement stairs.

"There's a panic room?" Dean asks as they walk down the stairs.

Bobby leads them inside and turns on the lights. Alexis had only seen the room twice before when she was younger.

"You built a panic room?" Sam asks, slightly stunned.

"I had a weekend off." the older hunter responds.

Sam laughs and Dean says, "Bobby. You're awesome."

The Winchesters sit and make salt rounds while Bobby and Alexis do research.

"Found it." Bobby says. He explains that it's the mark of the witness.

"Wait, mark of the witness. None of them died ordinarily. So this was the rising of the witnesses. Isn't that a seal of the apocalypse?" Alexis asks.

"Yeah, it is. These ghosts were forced to rise. Someone rose them on purpose." Bobby says.

"Who?" Sam asks.

"Lilith. She's breaking seals, she wants to raise Lucifer." Alexis states.

"What?" all three asks.

"Hello? The whole impending apocalypse thing? Lilith wants to let Lucifer walk free, and to do that, she has to break enough seals, which we're supposed to be stopping. This was a seal." Alexis says.

"Oh." both brothers say.

"What happens if Lucifer walks?" Dean asks.

"We don't want to find out." she says.

"So this whole apocalypse thing is real." Dean states.

"Yeah. Why do you think angels suddenly brought us both back? For shits and giggles?" Alexis says.

"I don't know! But how the hell are we supposed to stop the damn apocalypse?" Dean says.

"Beats me. Did you find anything on how to put these spirits back to rest, Bobby?" she asks.

"There's a spell that should work if translated correctly." Bobby says. "I think I have everything, but it's gotta be cast over an open fire."

"Fireplace in the library." Sam says.

Each hunter takes a gun loaded with salt rounds and then they head out.

"Cover each other." Bobby says. "And aim careful. Don't run out of ammo until I'm done or they'll shred ya."

They all slowly walk out, guns ready. Dean spots one at the top of the stairs. Bobby fires and he disappears. They all make it into the library and quickly begin lighting the fire and laying salt. Bobby sends Sam upstairs to grab something and tells Alexis to go with him for backup. She hears shots fire from downstairs and figures some ghosts showed up. Sam finds the box that Bobby asked for but not before Alexis is thrown up against a wall, again, further down the hallway.

"Time to finish you off." Kevin says as his hands tighten around her throat.

Sam spins and shoots the ghost and Alexis falls to the ground yet again. _This needs to stop happening. _

Sam grabs the box and runs over to her. "You okay?" he asks, helping her up.

She nods and grabs her gun.

A girl appears in front of them and Sam shoots her, but she quickly reappears behind them. She was guessing that this ghost was the Meg that Dean had mentioned earlier. Alexis fires at her and the ghost vanishes again. They both quickly head back downstairs so Bobby can do the spell. More and more ghosts begin appearing and reappearing quickly. A dresser crushes Sam thanks to Meg as a cabinet slams Alexis backwards.

"Riley." she says sadly.

"You didn't save me, Lexi. You were supposed to save me." her older cousin says.

"Sam! Lex!" Dean says, looking like he didn't know what to do, who to help.

"Cover Bobby." they both say, struggling against the furniture pressed against them.

They manage to complete the spell and the ghosts vanish. Dean quickly rushes over to Bobby as Sam pushes the table away and moves to help Alexis.

Later on, after Bobby had gone to bed, the three were all in the living room. "So, Lex. What happened with that Kevin guy?" Dean asks.

Dean had heard more than Sam had and she knew he wasn't going to let it go. "What exactly did you hear?" she asks him.

Sam looks between the two, clearly confused.

"Well, while I was trying to get the damn door open, I heard him say it was like the last night you two spent together, except this time you were going to die. When I got the door open, he had you pinned to a wall, one arm around your neck, and he was practically all over you." Dean says.

"What do you mean all over her?" Sam asks, slight anger in his voice.

"The dude was pretty much on top of her, his face was practically touching hers." the older Winchester explains.

"Who was he, Lex?" Sam asks through clenched teeth.

"He was a dick, he's dead now. Doesn't matter." she says, trying to get them to drop it.

"Not good enough. Try again." Dean says, both of them looking at her with murder in their eyes.

That was one thing you could always count on with the Winchesters. If someone in anyway hurt someone that they considered family, they could and would kill said person. Sometimes their overprotectiveness was a pain in her ass, but deep down, she loved that quality in them. Alexis sighs and says, "I met him when I was 20. We were both working the same hunt so we decided to finish it together. We were pretty sure it was a demon. Well uh, the last night that he was referring to when Dean heard him, was the night before we went after it. He had gone to a bar but I stayed back. He was knocking at my door a few hours later and when I let him in I could smell the alcohol. He uh, he came on to me. When I said no, he got mad. Pinned me against the wall, said it would be fun. His arm was around my neck as he started kissing me. This was after Kyle. There was no way I was letting another guy do that to me, not again. I got him off of me but he just called me a tease and tried again. By the time I managed to get him out of my room, he'd definitely left a few bruises and my arm was bleeding. The next morning he didn't even apologize or say anything. We went to where we thought the demon was and split up. When I found him again, the demon was in him. I tried to exorcise it, but it pulled a knife and said it would kill Kevin if I continued. I continued and the demon plunged the knife into Kevin's heart. I finished, but Kevin was already dead."

When she finishes she looks up at the Winchesters. Both have their jaws clenched. Sam looks like he truly could kill someone.

"If that son of a bitch wasn't dead already, I'd kill him." Dean finally says, his voice filled with rage.

Alexis nods and then says, "I'm going to go to sleep now."

The three hunters sleep in the library that night. Sometime after they'd all fallen asleep, Alexis was awoken by the unmistakable sound of angel wings. She glances towards the kitchen and there was the trench coat wearing angel. She assumes he was there for Dean, so she just rolls over as Dean gets up and walks towards Castiel. She listens as Dean comes to the realization that the angels aren't what they're supposed to be. Dean begins to raise his voice as he questions Castiel about God. Castiel explains that there are big things afoot and that Lilith is working to break 66 seals. He also says twenty other hunters are dead due to the witnesses. The angel explains that if they all break, Lucifer will walk free. Just like Alexis had said earlier.

"I know you're listening, Alexis." Castiel says. She turns to face the kitchen and then gets up and walks over.

"So Lucifer is real?" Dean asks.

"Why do you think we are here?" the angel asks.

"To stop Lucifer." Dean deduces.

Castiel nods.

"Well, bang up job so far." Dean says.

Castiel explains that there are other seals and some they'll win, some they'll lose.

"Yeah, and we lose enough of them and Lucifer walks the Earth." Alexis says.

"Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week." Castiel says.

"Six?" Alexis questions.

"Daniel and Muriel died. The others you did not know." the angel explains.

"Shit." she says as she leans against the counter.

Castiel turns back to Dean and says he should show him some respect, that he raised him from Hell and can throw him back in. The angel then vanishes.

"You had to spend three months with those dicks?" Dean asks her.

"Told you I wasn't exactly in paradise." she says, walking back over to where she was sleeping. When she sees the look on his face she stops. "You okay?" she asks.

He doesn't answer.

"Dean, Cas won't throw you back into Hell. They need you. Don't worry about that." she tells him.

The older Winchester slowly nods and walks back to his sleeping bag.

* * *

After spending a few days at Bobby's, the three take two more hunts. The last night of the last hunt, after Dean is asleep, Alexis and Sam sneak out, like they'd been doing more often. They meet Ruby at a warehouse with a demon. Sam may have stopped the demon blood thing, but Ruby was still helpful with getting demons so they could find Lilith. She also figured out that Sam and Alexis can put their powers together, which will help kill Lilith. The two of them together would be strong enough, even though Alexis could potentially do it on her own. So as much as Alexis wanted to gank her, she knew she would actually help them. She still felt there was something Ruby wanted out of it that neither of them knew about. The demon isn't helpful and begins to get cruel, so Alexis brings her hand to the demon's forehead and exorcises him. She staggers backwards a bit, but Sam catches her. Exorcising still took a lot out of her, and the higher the demon, the more energy it needed. If she were to go up against Lilith alone, then and there, she wasn't sure she'd survive. Sam brings his fingers to the guy's neck and finds a pulse.

"Any more headaches or dizziness?" Ruby asks Alexis.

"No headaches, little dizzy. Not as bad as the first few times though."

"Good. You're getting stronger. You two together will definitely be able to kill Lilith." the demon says.

Sam helps the guy up and that's when they see Dean.

"So, anything you two want to tell me?" he asks.

"Dean, hold on, let us explain." Sam says.

"Explain? You can explain this? How about you start with who she is and what the hell she's doing here." Dean asks, pointing to Ruby.

"Good to see you again, Dean." Ruby says.

"Ruby?" the older Winchester questions. "Is that Ruby?"

He then rushes her and knocks her into a wall, pulling the demon knife. Sam wrestles it away from him as Alexis just watches. She didn't think they absolutely needed Ruby so she wouldn't save her, but the demon was helpful, so she wasn't going to kill her either. Not yet. Sam tells Ruby to take the man to the hospital and she reluctantly does. Dean glances at both Sam and Alexis and then walks away.

"Dean." Sam says, but the older brother keeps walking.

Sam and Alexis share a look and then head back to the motel after Dean had left them.

Dean didn't return until that morning and when he does, he begins packing.

"Dean, what're you doing?" Sam asks.

"Dean?" Alexis says.

"You don't need me. You've got Ruby. Go fight demons with her." Dean says.

"Dean, come on." Sam says.

Dean turns around and punches Sam in the face.

"Dean!" Alexis exclaims, moving off of the bed.

"You satisfied?" Sam asks.

Dean punches him again.

"Guess not."

"You're working with a demon! And you," Dean says, turning to Alexis, "you exorcised a demon with a touch of your hand! I don't care if the angels showed you that, that's not normal! Not human!" he shouts.

Dean seemed angrier with Sam, which was odd, since he really wasn't doing anything, not anymore. Dean would be pissed if he knew about the demon blood.

"I told you I could do that! I know that's not normal, I'm not normal! Yeah, maybe we should have told you about Ruby, but why are you so pissed? We weren't doing anything wrong." Alexis says, moving towards Sam.

Dean just shakes his head.

"It saves people, Dean! I can pull demons out of innocent people."

"Use the knife!" Dean shouts.

"The knife kills them." Sam says.

"So if you're just saving people, why is Ruby involved, huh? What is she tricking you two into now?" Dean says. "Slippery slope. Angelic or demonic powers, both can land you in a shit ton of trouble. Just wait and see." the older Winchester adds. "And what did you do when Alexis wasn't the one exorcising them, huh? When it was just you and Ruby?"

"I exorcised them with my mind. I saved people too, Dean. And now, with both of us, well be able to kill Lilith!" Sam says.

Dean knocks a lamp against the wall. "If I didn't know you, I'd want to hunt you, both of you. And so would other hunters." he says.

"You were gone and I was here." Sam says. "I had to keep on fighting without you, both of you. And what I did, what Alexis is doing, it works." the younger brother continues.

"Then why'd you lie?" Dean asks. "Why did an angel send me there to make sure you weren't doing your mind thing?" he continues.

"Castiel sent you? I thought he knew I stopped that." Alexis says.

"Wait, what?" Dean asks, turning to face Alexis.

"That first night when you summoned Cas and I appeared too, I told you I couldn't stay. That there was something I had to do." she says.

"Go on."

"Like I told you, I'd been watching Sam a lot that past month. What he had been doing with Ruby needed to be stopped. The angels said so. I stopped it. He hasn't done it since. Why would Cas send you?" she says.

"So what you were doing was bad." Dean states.

"But I stopped! And Alexis' powers come from angels, they can't be bad!" Sam says.

A phone rings, interrupting the conversation. Sam answers. It was a hunter named Travis. Sounded like there was a hunt in Carthage, Missouri.

"I'm uh, going to sit this one out. You two go. I'm going to go see my mom and Jo. Should have weeks ago anyway." Alexis says, grabbing her bag.

Dean doesn't say anything but Sam follows her out the door. "Lex, wait." he says, grabbing her arm.

"What?" she asks.

"You don't have to leave." Sam tells her.

"I know. I'm not leaving for good, okay? I really should see my mom and sister. You two go do this hunt, try not to kill each other, and call me after. Alright?" she says.

Sam sighs and says, "Fine." He kisses her and then says, "Be careful."

"I will. You two be careful too. I'll see you in a few days." she says and then starts to head to the bus station a few blocks away.

Alexis buys a ticket to the stop closest to the roadhouse and boards a bus an hour later. By the time she actually gets to the roadhouse, it's too early for it to be open. Alexis heads to Arizona's, hoping she wouldn't be attacked. When the door opens, Alexis is immediately pushed against the side of the house. _So much for not being attacked._

"What the hell are you?" Arizona demands.

"Zona, it's me. I mean it. Test me if you have to, but it's me." she says.

Arizona looks at her disbelievingly but pulls out a flask of holy water and a silver blade.

Alexis passes the tests and Arizona stares at her. "How are you here?" the retired hunter asks.

"It's a long story, can I come in?" Alexis asks.

"Uh, yeah. Come on. Ellie is still asleep. I'll get us some tea." Arizona says.

The two sit at Arizona's kitchen table and Alexis explains everything with the angels and her and Dean being brought back.

"Holy hell." Arizona says.

"Yeah." she says, sipping her tea.

"So angels are real and you and the Winchesters are supposed to help stop the apocalypse? Damn." Arizona continues.

"I know. I should've come right away, but I was a little tied up and then lost track of time and kind of forgot my family still thought I was dead. I came now to see you, my mom, and Jo."

"Well, they're both in town, so you'll be able to see them. I'll go with you so they don't try to kill you."

"Thanks, Zona. How's Ellie?"

"She's good. Started school. I haven't told her you died, guess I don't need to now." Arizona says with a small laugh.

Alexis smiles and says, "Good."

Ellie woke up an hour later, and after dropping her off at school, the two old friends got some food and then headed to the roadhouse.

"Can you go in first and kind of try to tell them I'm alive?" Alexis asks as she gets out of Arizona's car.

"I'll do my best." Arizona says.

* * *

**-Jo-centric POV-**

She glances up at the wall of honor and the two most recent pictures, her little sister and Dean Winchester. _They're both gone. _She hadn't seen the other Winchester in months either, she didn't even know if he was alive. A door opening tore Jo from her thoughts. She looks up and sees Arizona.

"Hey Arizona, you're early today." she says.

"Yeah. Listen, there's something I have to try and explain to you and your mom. Is she here?" Arizona says.

"Hey mom! Arizona needs you!" she shouts.

A minute later Ellen appears. "What is it?" her mother asks.

"You might both want to be sitting for this."

Ellen walks over to her daughter and sits next to her. "Okay, now what's going on Arizona?" the older woman asks.

"Do either of you believe in people coming back from the dead?" the retired hunter asks.

"Only way I've ever heard is if a crossroads deal is made. Like Dean with Sam." Ellen says.

_And that won't work for Lexi. I tried. Believe me, I tried. _Jo thinks to herself.

"Well, um, apparently there's another way." Arizona says.

"What?" Jo and her mother question.

"This morning... Alexis knocked on my door. I mean it. It's her. I tested her and everything. Even asked her a few things no body other than her knew." Arizona says.

"What? Where is she?" Jo says.

"Outside. She wanted me to try and explain first so she didn't get attacked."

With that, both Harvelles were immediately on their feet and heading towards the door.

"Lexi?" Jo says as she steps outside.

Alexis whirls around and a smile makes its way to her face as she says, "Jo, mom."

Jo immediately runs to her sister and pulls her into a tight hug, soon followed by Ellen.

"I missed you so much." she tells her little sister, a tear running down her cheek.

"I'm sorry." Alexis says.

"Let's go inside and you can talk, Lex." Ellen says.

The youngest Harvelle nods and the three family members all walk back inside. Alexis explains everything with the angels and the impending apocalypse and how she and Dean are needed, she also explains her powers to them for the first time.

"So angels are real and they brought both you and Dean back to life?" Jo asks.

"Yeah. They think three hunters will apparently be able to help them stop the apocalypse." Alexis replies.

"Wow. Well where are Sam and Dean now?" she asks.

"They've got a hunt in Carthage. I took this one off, said I needed to come see you guys finally." her little sister says.

"Oh. How long will you be staying then?" Ellen asks, hopeful that Alexis wouldn't be leaving right away.

"Until they're done. So at least a few days." Alexis says with a small smile.

Both Jo and Ellen smile also and Jo says, "Good. Guess we can take two pictures off the wall."

She stands up and walks over to take down Dean's picture and Alexis'. _My little sister is back _she thinks to herself with a smile.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

Alexis went back to Arizona's with her when she went to pick up Ellie, saying she needed some sleep. Once she was in Arizona's guest room, she hears the familiar flap of wings. She turns around, expecting Castiel, or maybe Hael, but instead finds Gabriel.

"Gabriel? What are you doing here?" she says.

Instead of answering, the archangel reaches out to touch her and then they are abruptly in a different place.

"What's going on?" she asks.

"I have to do something." he says, bringing his hand to her abdomen. She feels a sharp pain and hunches forward.

After he removes his hand, she demands, "What the hell did you just do?"

"I'm sorry. I needed to do that. I'll explain now. Have a seat." Gabe says, gesturing to the chairs and couch before them.

She looks at him skeptically but sits in the large round chair near her and he takes the seat across from her. "Okay. Explain." she says.

"You're involved with other angels now, and they could be watching you at all times. That's not exactly a good thing. You are not a person who does whatever she is told just because she's told to do so. You are going to disagree with some of their methods, and it would be best that they not be able to find you unless you want them to. I branded your ribs with Enochian symbols to keep you hidden. I believe I should still be able to find you, as my grace is in you, but no other angel will unless you pray to them or someone spots you." the archangel explains.

"You branded my ribs?" she asks, feeling slightly violated.

"Yes. Now as long as you are with the Winchesters, you will be able to be located, but if you need to hide from them, you can." he says.

"Um, thanks I guess then?" she says.

"It will come in useful. If you and those brothers are anything like I believe you are, and enough seals do get broken, most angels will not be your friends. They will want you all to do things that none of you will want to. And angels, they know torture. Believe me, if they get a hold of you and there's something they want, they will get it." Gabe says.

Alexis' eyes widen a bit and she just stares at the angel before her. "Damn." she mutters.

"I like you, Alexis. I do. That's why I'm telling you all of this. If you need me, call me. I'll do my best to help. I also still owe you that favor. Going to cash in on that anytime soon?" he says.

She smiles a bit and says, "I'm waiting on the right time. Hasn't come yet."

"You know, if most people had a favor from an archangel, they'd have asked by now. Gotten their money or treasures or whatever they wanted. But you keep waiting." the angel says.

"I'm not most people. I mean, I am sitting here, which I have no idea where here actually is, by the way, and I'm talking to an angel, whose wings I can see. And my ribs were just branded with symbols. Those two things alone are enough to get me locked up into a mental institution. If I were to say I died and came back to life and now need to help stop the apocalypse, I'd probably be locked up for life in a padded room." Alexis says.

Gabe laughs a bit, "I see. Here is Paris by the way."

"I'm in Paris!?" she exclaims.

"That you are." he replies.

All of a sudden, they're standing on the Eiffel Tower.

"No way." she says.

"I don't suppose you'd like to explore a bit before going back?" the angel says.

"Exploring Paris sounds so much better than sleeping." Alexis says.

"Alrighty then." Gabriel says.

The angel takes her to a bakery, where he of course gets sweets, and then they go to the Canal Saint Martin. She spends a few hours in Paris with Gabe before she figures she should probably go back to her own country. Before leaving, she gets a box of macaroons, a box of caramels, and a box of chocolates to bring back. Even if he wasn't a real Trickster, the guy still loved his sweets. And besides, it's not everyday you can go from Nebraska to Paris in the blink of an eye. Gabe transports her back to the bedroom in Arizona's around seven.

"Thanks, Gabriel." she tells him.

"Sometimes it's more fun when you have someone with you. Being a runaway angel can get lonely." the archangel admits.

"Well, you know how to find me if you need me again then." she says with a small smile.

"That I do. Bye Alexis." Gabriel says and then poofs out. She sets down the boxes and decides to actually get some sleep, only to find she really couldn't. She hadn't slept for a good 36 hours, but she ended up lying in bed, wide awake, most of the night. Alexis ends up spending four days with Arizona, Ellie, and her family, until Sam calls.

"Hey, Sam." she says when she picks up her phone.

"Hey. We finished the hunt, you still in Nebraska?" he asks.

"Yeah. I've been staying at Arizona's." she says.

"Okay. We're headed there. Should be there tomorrow morning." Sam tells her.

"You sure? Maybe I should sit the next hunt out too." she says.

"No, Lex. Look Dean is wrong, okay? Yes, we should have told him about Ruby I guess, but what he said isn't true. I think even Dean realizes he overreacted. Just come back with us." he says.

"Sam..." she begins but he cuts her off, "Lex, please."

Alexis sighs and says, "Okay."

"Good. See you tomorrow then." Sam says.

"See you tomorrow. Bye, Sam." she tells him.

"Bye, Lex."

* * *

_A/N: So I will be keeping the demon blood out of this story and taking a different route to the whole Lucifer being released thing. Let me know what you think! _


	21. Undone

_A/N: So this chapter ended up being entirely in Sam-centric POV. I'm also not entirely aware of the medical terms for what I discuss in this chapter or possibilities of this happening, but I tried to make it realistic. This chapter doesn't cover any episode, it's entirely original. The hunt Dean goes on at the end is 4x5 and I will be skipping it. _

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Alexis, Arizona, Ellie, and the nurse Haleigh. **

* * *

**Chapter 21: Undone**

**-Sam-centric-POV**

Sam and Dean ended up stopping that night, so they didn't make it to Arizona's until the next night. Dean had been stalling. He stopped every chance he could. When they had stopped at their seventh gas station in the past five hours, Sam finally spoke up.

"Dude, would you quit stopping every half hour and just drive?" Sam asks. Dean looks at him funny and he adds, "You're stalling."

"What? Me stalling? No." the older brother says.

"Yes you are. You know you were hard on Lex and now you don't want to see her." he says.

Dean doesn't say anything and Sam just gives him a knowing look.

"Alright! Enough with that face. I freaked out on her, both of you, but I shouldn't have. With you it's different, we move on quicker. You're my little brother. We've fought hundreds of times before, but with Lex..." Dean says, trailing off.

"You've got to apologize, Dean. Because knowing her, she'll apologize to you. She seems to apologize even when something isn't her fault or was out of her control. I mean, look at her track record with guys in her life, they're either all dead or dicks, or both. When I called her yesterday, she didn't even want to come on the next hunt." he says.

"You're right. I guess I didn't notice it before, but she does apologize more often than she should or even needs to. That probably became instinct for her with that asshole Kyle. And you've got a point about all the guys in her life too. Now I feel like even more of an ass." Dean says.

Sam's jaw had clenched at the mention of Kyle. "You know that hunt we had in Michigan around Christmas? The one Lex skipped? She told me Kyle lived in the town over and she hadn't been back there since. If I ever meet him, I'll make him sorry he ever laid a finger on her." he says.

"She's been avoiding the entire state because of him?" Dean asks, some shock and anger mixed in his voice. "If we ever meet him, I'll help you with that. Dick deserves it." the oldest Winchester adds, starting the car.

"So you'll apologize?" Sam asks, changing the topic off of Kyle.

"Yeah. I'll talk to her." Dean says.

"Good."

They pull into Arizona's driveway around 6:30 that night. Sam was going to go find Alexis, but Arizona calls him over first.

"Hey Sam, can I talk to you a minute?" she says.

"Yeah, sure." he responds, walking into the kitchen.

"I'm just a little worried about Lex, and I figured you'd be the person I should tell." Arizona says.

"What do you mean? Is she okay?" he asks, immediately concerned.

"She hasn't been sleeping. Only way I know is because I've known her since she was a toddler. She's never been a morning person, and every day that she's been here, she's been up before me. And if I'm up in the middle of the night, she is too. Which tells me she's either not slept at all, or barely. That girl is damn good at hiding things, if you haven't known her most of her life, you'd never know she wasn't sleeping. I didn't bring it up because I know she'd just shut me out, possibly even leave, so maybe you can talk to her. Get her to talk to you. She's got to sleep. How long has she been, you know, alive again?" the retired hunter explains.

"About two weeks." he says, trying to think back to the last time he actually saw her sleep.

"And how much have you seen her sleep during that time?" she asks.

"Now that I think about it, not much. Dammit. I should've caught it." Sam says.

"Like I said, she's good at hiding things. You've known her like two years right? You'd easily miss that. It's not your fault that you didn't notice, just talk to her. See if you can get her to talk to you about why she isn't sleeping. If she tries to tell you she has been sleeping, you can tell her I told you that I know she hasn't." Arizona says.

"I will. Where is she anyway?" he asks.

"Upstairs with Ellie. When you go up, send Ellie down here. She's supposed to help me bake brownies for school tomorrow." she says.

"Okay." Sam replies as he turns towards the stairs. Since Dean had heard most of their conversation, they share a look and Sam tells him just to talk to Alexis tomorrow.

When Sam gets upstairs, he hears a small voice coming from the end of the hallway, so he figured they were in there. As he gets closer, he realizes Ellie is asking, no, more begging Alexis to do something.

"Will you sing something pleaseee?" the little girl asks.

Once Sam gets to the door, he sees that Ellie is giving Lex her best puppy dog face.

Alexis sighs and says, "How about before you go to bed? You're supposed to go help your mom make brownies."

"Fine." the little girl says.

Ellie spots Sam and says, "Oooh you're boyfriend is here!"

Alexis turns her head towards the door to see him. "Oh. Hi. How long have you been standing there?" she asks.

"Not long. We just got here like ten minutes ago." he tells her.

"Oh." she says.

"Ellie, your mom told me to tell you to go help her in the kitchen." Sam tells the girl.

"See." Alexis says.

"But my mom sucks at baking!" Ellie exclaims.

Alexis laughs and says, "Tell you what, if you go bake brownies with your mom now and they suck, I'll help you with some later. Sound good?"

Ellie nods and runs out of the room.

"So how was the hunt?" Alexis asks him as she walks into the hall, motioning for him to follow her.

"Not great." he says.

"Oh. I'm sorry." she says, continuing to walk.

"Lex, can we talk?" he asks her.

"We are talking." Alexis responds, walking into a bedroom that he assumed was the one she'd been staying in.

"That's not what I mean." he says.

"Then what?" she asks.

"Would you just stop moving for a second?" Sam says.

She stops and faces him then asks, "What is it Sam?"

"Arizona says you haven't been sleeping." he tells her.

She quickly turns from him and moves to grab something. "I'm taking a shower." she says, completely disregarding what he had said.

"Lex, I'm not dropping this."

"Dropping what?" she asks, pretending she hadn't even heard him.

"You're not sleeping, Lex. Again." he says.

"I'm sleeping." she says, not meeting his eyes.

"One or two hours doesn't count." Sam says.

She grabs her bag and then walks into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

"We are talking about this, Alexis." he says through the door. There was no way he was letting this go. She needs to sleep. This isn't healthy. _If she's not sleeping she's probably drinking more of those damn energy drinks again, which also isn't healthy. Why won't she just talk to me? _he thinks to himself as he sits down on the bed.

Sam had closed his eyes to rest while Alexis showered, but he didn't fall asleep. Yet somehow Alexis snuck past him and out of the room.

_How the hell did I not hear her? Damn is she quite. _He sighs and gets up to head downstairs, knowing Alexis was going to avoid talking to him for as long as she could. When he gets to the kitchen he sees that Alexis is helping Ellie with brownies and that there was a discarded bowl of batter on the other counter. He shakes his head. _Arizona must have screwed something up._ He then walks into the living room and sits down next to Dean, who was not so subtly watching Arizona. Sam was actually kind of surprised Dean hadn't really hit on Arizona yet. He hits on almost any girl he meets.

"I take it you two didn't talk?" Dean asks as Sam sits down.

"Nope. She avoided it, showered, and somehow snuck past me and down here."

"I can't believe I didn't notice it either. Whenever I wake up during the night lately she's awake. Don't know why I didn't figure out she hadn't been sleeping at all." Dean says.

"It's not the first time we missed it." Sam says.

"Probably won't be the last either. She's good at hiding things, very good. That should scare you. It kinda scares me." his older brother says.

"It does. If she wants to avoid something, she will. Sometimes it's almost impossible to get her to talk to me. I guess she's still used to being on her own, not having to talk to people or let them in." he says.

"It's a defense mechanism." Dean says, slightly catching Sam off guard. Dean wasn't one for meaningful conversations that he could consider 'chick-flick moments', especially not twice in a day.

"What?" he asks his brother.

"Not talking about things, not letting people in. It's a defense mechanism. If she doesn't let people in, she can't get hurt. She tries to protect herself by keeping people out. I'm guessing Kyle combined with Zac dying had something to do with that." Dean says.

"Oh. You're probably right. I wish she didn't do that, but I get it. It just means I have to try harder to get her to talk." he tells him.

"Give her your puppy dog eyes. That should work." his brother says.

"Nope. She's becoming immune to those and she can rival them." he says, remembering the last time he'd tried that on her. It was over some small thing, but she ended up getting her way, despite the puppy dog eyes.

"She'll talk to you, Sammy. She will. If she's not sleeping, that means there's more time for you to bug her about it." Dean says.

"Yeah, I guess. So when I walked over here you were checking out Arizona, again." Sam says, changing the topic.

"What? No I wasn't." his older brother says defensively.

"Oh come on. You were. You do every time we see her. Why don't you just ask her out or something?" he asks.

"Dude, she scares me."

"She scares you?" Sam asks, voice laced with shock.

"Have you seen her? She could probably kick my ass if she wanted to."

He just laughs.

"It's not funny! Lex could kick your ass if she wanted to too. She actually kind of scares me sometimes also." Dean says, slightly exasperated.

"Oh, I know she could. I just try not to give her a reason to. But yeah, she can be scary if she needs to be. She can also make herself look entirely innocent and naive, and that within itself is scary." he says.

"Woman hunters man, they're scary. Lex, Arizona, Ellen, even Jo can be scary at times."

Sam just laughs again.

Alexis spends the rest of the night avoiding Sam. It got to be a quarter to midnight and everyone but them had gone to bed. He hated this. The girl could ice you out and you'd die of frostbite before she let you back in if you gave her a reason to. And Sam had apparently done just that. He heads upstairs to the room Alexis was in and finds her reading on the bed. She glances up at him as he walks in but doesn't say anything.

"It's almost midnight, we should probably go to bed." Sam says, trying to approach the whole her not sleeping thing lightly.

"If you're tired, you can sleep. I can go downstairs and read." she says.

"No. You should sleep too." he says.

"Not tired." she says, not meeting his eyes.

"Dammit, Lex. Don't lie to me, just talk to me. I know you haven't been sleeping, and you need to. Just talk to me, please." he says, finishing with a softer tone than he'd started with.

"I can't." she says.

"Lex, come on. Just tell me why you aren't sleeping." he says, sitting down next to her on the bed.

"I can't." she says again.

"Yes you can."

"No, I mean I can't sleep. I just can't." she tells him.

"When's the last time you slept? I mean really slept, like seven hours or more uninterrupted." he asks her.

"That car ride back to Bobby's from Illinois." she says quietly.

"What? Lex that was like two weeks ago." he says.

"I know."

"So other than that day, you basically haven't slept well or at all since coming back from the dead?" Sam asks.

Alexis nods.

"What's going on, Lex?" he asks her, placing his hand on hers.

"I don't know. I'll try to lay down and sleep, but it ends up being hours before I can even fall asleep, and when I do, I'm awake in an hour or two, sometimes three. So I've started just not going to bed really." she says, the last part nearly inaudible.

"Do nightmares wake you up? And not going to bed at all? When's the last time you slept?"

"Sometimes. And um, the night I got here for like an hour or two?" she says.

"You haven't slept in five days?" Sam asks, shocked. He's barely functioning after two days of no sleep.

She just nods.

"Have you tried taking anything?" he asks.

"No. I don't want it to knock me out and then cause me to not be able to wake up if needed."

"Lex, maybe you should."

Alexis shakes her head no.

"Please?" he asks.

"No." she says.

Sam sighs and says, "Fine. Just try and sleep now and see what happens."

He changes and then lies down, motioning for her to do the same. Alexis does, but Sam falls asleep before her. She doesn't fall asleep at all. Of course she lies to him about it the next morning, saying she had slept for a few hours.

* * *

They stick around in Nebraska another two days and Sam spent them watching Alexis very carefully. He was pretty sure she had lied to him about sleeping, meaning she was going on a week of no sleep. While Ellie was at school and Arizona was at the roadhouse since Ellen and Jo had gone on a hunt, Alexis actually passed out.

"Lex!" he hears Dean shout.

Sam is quickly on his feet and running to where she was.

"What happened?" he asks, bending down to lift her up.

"She just passed out." Dean says.

"That's it. I'm taking her to the hospital. She hasn't slept in like a week and she needs to." he says, turning for the door with her in his arms.

"She's not going to like that." his older brother says.

"I don't care. This is bad, Dean. At the hospital they'll at least give her meds to sleep. She needs to sleep. She can barely function let alone hunt like this." he says, worry evident in his voice. She was really starting to scare him.

"I'll drive then." Dean says.

They head to the Impala and are soon at the same hospital Alexis had been in after the fire. Sam carries her in through the ER doors, Dean right behind him. _She's going to want to kill me when she wakes up here _he thinks to himself.

"What happened to her?" a nurse asks as a gurney is brought over.

"She passed out and hasn't woken up. She hasn't been sleeping." Sam says as he lays her down on the gurney.

"Alright. We'll take her and run some tests, but we'll need some information from you two." the nurse says.

"Was that Alexis Harvelle?" another nurse asks as she walks over to them.

"Yes. I'm sorry, does she know you?" Dean asks before Sam could say anything.

"I was the main nurse on her case after the fire at Harvelle's Roadhouse a year and a half ago. She was the only survivor. I'm Haleigh." the woman says. She then turns to the other nurse and says, "I'll take this one. Can you pull up Alexis Harvelle's file for me?"

The other nurse nods and walks away.

Sam explains what he could to the nurse, Haleigh, and she tells him that they'll have to admit Alexis into the pshyc ward so they can give her some medication that will keep her asleep for a while. _Psych ward? Shit, she's going to kill me _he thinks to himself. Sam reluctantly signs the papers to admit her and then goes to talk to Dean.

"Sam?" Dean asks. "Hey, what's going on?"

"They admitted her to psych, Dean. This is freaking me out." he says, beginning to pace.

"Son of a bitch." he hears his brother mutter. "Alright, well they'll give her some meds and help her sleep right? That'll help."

"Dean, it's the psych ward. Hunters and psych wards do not mix well. Because she'll either have to lie, and they could catch her on it, or they'll keep her in a heartbeat if she tells the truth. And she's going to be pissed and freaked out when she wakes up." Sam says, continuing to pace.

"Hey, calm down. It's going to be okay. She's strong. She'll be okay. Did they say if we can see her?" his older brother asks him, gripping his shoulders to keep him from pacing.

"But what if she's not, Dean?" he says, voice full of worry.

"She will be. Now let's go see if we can find her."

* * *

It had been twenty-four hours and Sam hadn't left Alexis' side. He knew she would be okay at least physically, but he didn't want to leave. He didn't want her to wake up and be alone. She hated hospitals more than he did. Dean had managed to get him to leave to go shower and get some sleep, but he was back that night. Alexis slept for a total of 58 hours. The nurse said she was what they called snowed, she was completely out cold with the combined medications, but all that sleep was needed. Sam had told Haleigh, the nurse, about the accident and drowning, sort of. He said it was two months ago and she narrowly made it out. She was curious as to why it wasn't documented, so he told her that Alexis refused the paramedics since she hated hospitals. The doctor told him that Alexis probably had PTSD, which caused her sleep deprivation. Some part of that was probably true. Just about any hunter has PTSD in some shape or form. But Alexis died and spent months with angels and was then brought back only to stop the damn apocalypse. The more he thought about it the more he could see why she wasn't sleeping.

It was nearing midnight of her third day in the hospital when Alexis finally wakes up. He had been asleep, his head resting near her hand, but he's immediately awake when he hears a faint "Sam?"

"Lex?" he says.

Her eyes jump around the room and the screen of the heart rate monitor shows that her heart rate was increasing.

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay, I'm here." he tells her, squeezing one of her hands.

When her eyes lock on his Sam can see how scared and disoriented she is. She looks like she's maybe fifteen, not 22, almost 23. He notices she was staring at the water and he grabs the cup for her.

After she drinks some, she speaks again. "What happened?" she asks.

"What do you remember?" he asks.

"Um, I was- I was in the living room, I think, with uh, Dean, and it just- it just went black. Now I'm- I'm here." she says, voice small and shaky.

"You passed out, Lex. You hadn't slept for a week. I brought you here, to the hospital. They, no I, had to admit you to psych. You slept for almost two and a half days with the meds they put you on." he tells her, guilt evident in her voice.

"I'm in the psych ward? No, no no no, I have to get out of here. I- I can't be here." she says, attempting to get out of bed.

He quickly puts his hand out and gently pushes her back down into the bed. "You need to stay in bed, Lex. You can't leave yet, you just woke up." he tells her, trying to get her to calm down.

"No. I need to get out of here, Sam. Now." she tells him. She reaches over and presses the nurse button and not a minute later nurse Haleigh is in the room. She wasn't on psych, but had requested to stay with Alexis. She had said a familiar face might help.

"You?" Alexis says upon seeing the nurse.

"Hi Alexis. It's good to see you awake."

"I need to get out of here. Can you bring me my discharge papers?" Alexis asks.

"Now you just woke up. Tomorrow morning a person from psych will evaluate you and then we can see about discharge." the nurse says calmly.

"No. I need to leave now. I can check myself out if I want to. You won't be able to declare me medically unstable, trust me. I have a degree in psychology. You can't keep me here against my will. So the papers please." Alexis says.

_Damn. She went from being disoriented and scared to calm and scary in a matter of minutes. And I had no idea she majored in psych. _

The nurse honestly looked a bit scared. "I'll get them right away." Haleigh says and then leaves.

"Lex, maybe-" he begins but stops mid-sentence upon seeing the look on her face. He was not crossing her on this, not unless he wanted his ass kicked, physically or verbally.

Sam had called Dean, who was at Arizona's, to come pick them up and forty minutes later they were out of the hospital. The doctor had sent them with some antidepressants, apparently this wasn't the first time she'd been in the psych ward. Around two in the morning the first night she was there, Sam had snuck a peek at her file. There was a sizeable list of hospital visits under her real name. So who knows how many times she'd actually been in one. She'd been admitted into a psych ward when she was eight. What was written was that she'd become depressed after the loss of two loved ones in two years. _Her father and brother. Depressed when she was 8? How did I not know this? _he thinks to himself. That time she hadn't been eating and passed out, he remembers Ellen saying something like that but not that she was admitted into psych. _No wonder she hates hospitals. _From what Sam could tell, it looked like they put her on some anti-depressants after that and sent her to a mandated psychologist. Oddly, the notes from the three sessions were in there, probably because there were next to none. Sam read them and found himself almost laughing. The psychologist sounded exasperated with her. She had apparently not said a word the first time or the next time and only one sentence the third time, which happened to be, 'This is a load of crap.' A side note also said that apparently Ellen had told the guy Lex hadn't spoken in a week. The girl could keep up a silent streak that was for sure. He just hoped this time would be different. Alexis hadn't said a word since talking to the nurse and when they got back to Arizona's she walked upstairs immediately. _Great._

"She'll be okay, Sammy. Just give her some space right now. She'll talk." Dean tells him reassuringly.

He hoped so, but wasn't really sure.

"Listen, I found a hunt and Bobby said he'd go with me. Why don't you and Lex go back to Chicago for a few days, take the Impala. Bobby's going to pick me up here in a few hours. I'll meet you guys back in the city after and we can figure out where to go from there." his older brother says.

"Okay. Yeah, she shouldn't be hunting yet." he says.

"Alright. Look, I didn't get to apologize to her for freaking out on her, so can you tell her I'm sorry and I'll talk to her after this hunt?" Dean says.

"Yeah, I will." Sam says.

When Sam walks upstairs he sees that Alexis had already packed all of her stuff, clearly not intending on even staying the night.

"Lex, where are you going?" he asks her.

She looks up at him but just keeps packing.

"Lex?" he asks again.

"Chicago." is all she says. _One word. Great. _

"Would you slow down? We can go there tomorrow, okay. You just got out of the hospital." he says, trying to reason with her.

"No." she replies.

_One-word responses. Perfect. _Before he could say anything else she had brushed past him and was moving quickly towards the stairs.

"Lex, wait." he says, jogging to catch up with her. "Sam, I just want to leave. Please, can we just go?" she asks him.

With the look she gives him, Sam relents. "Yeah, we can leave. Come on, Dean said we can take the Impala. Bobby is picking him up for a hunt soon."

Alexis just nods and continues down the stairs.

They'd driven in silence for almost two hours when Sam hears the slightest sniffle come from Alexis. He pulls off at the next motel he sees and checks them in. It was sometime around four in the morning anyway, they could both use some sleep.

"What are you doing?" she asks, wiping her hand across her face and trying to compose herself.

He could see right through it though. He knew she wasn't fine at all and had been seconds from crying just then.

"We're stopping for a while. Come on." he says, opening his door.

Once they get into the room, Alexis lays down on the bed, her back to him.

"Lex, you should probably take one of these pills they sent you with." he says, holding out the bottle.

"No." she says.

"They're supposed to help."

"Well they don't." she tells him.

He sets the bottle down and moves to lie down next to her. "Well then will you at least talk to me?" he asks.

She turns to face him and he could see she was close to crumbling entirely. "Lex, I'm sorry that I took you there, I just didn't know what else to do." Sam says.

"No, it's-it's not that. I just- this wasn't supposed to happen, not again. I- I thought I had it under control. That-that I'd get past it and not- not have to go there again." she says quietly.

He pulls her into him and says, "Hey, hey, it's okay. You're going to be okay. This isn't your fault. Why don't you just get some sleep, we can talk more tomorrow, okay?"

She nods against his chest and he waits to make sure she actually falls asleep before he closes his eyes.

* * *

They both get up seven hours later and go to get some food before hitting the road again.

"I'm sorry." she says suddenly as they're walking to the car.

Sam turns to face her and asks, "For what? You didn't do anything."

"For this. For all of this. You shouldn't have to worry about me this much. My stupid problems don't need to be yours too." Alexis says.

He puts his hands on her shoulders and says, "Hey, you're problems are not stupid. And I have to worry about you, you're my girlfriend and I love you. Worrying comes with that. But don't think that whatever you're going through doesn't matter or is unimportant, okay? You can talk to me, I want to help, Lex."

"But you shouldn't have to. You deserve so much better, Sam. Someone without so many problems. Someone - just someone better than me." she says sadly.

"There is no one better than you." he tells her firmly. She doesn't say anything else so he adds, "Let's just go get some food and get to Chicago."

It's close to noon so they end up going for lunch at a Cracker Barrel in Omaha. When they walk in, Alexis must have caught the date on the calendar as she turns to Sam and asks, "Wait, it's October 3rd?"

"Yeah. Guess so." he says.

"Great. Just fucking perfect." she mutters.

"What's wrong?"

"My birthday is in 4 days. That's what's wrong."

"Oh. Well we'll be in Chicago so we can do something. Maybe even go on a real date. We've been dating over a year, you know, not counting the time you were dead, and haven't had one single real date." he says.

"Wait, really?" she asks.

"Yes really." he says.

A small smile spreads across her face, the first time he'd seen her truly smile since the night she 'got back.'

"Let's eat." he says.

Once they get seated, Alexis orders the country chef salad and he orders the grilled chicken salad. Dean would probably make some comment about them not eating real food if he'd been there.

Once the waiter walks away after bringing their drinks, Alexis speaks up, "So, I think I owe you a bit of an explanation."

"You don't owe me anything. You don't have to explain if you don't want to, though I'd like you to." he tells her. He didn't want to make her say anything she didn't want to.

"Well, uh, this wasn't the first time something like this happened. Not the second either actually." she begins.

He hadn't known that, it wasn't in her file. He still felt a bit guilty for reading that, but he didn't read everything.

"The first time it wasn't sleep deprivation, it was not eating. Like at all. I was barely eight, it was right after Matt died. I guess I couldn't handle losing him and my dad so quickly. I didn't know how to. And really, I shouldn't have had to. But that's life I guess. I had passed out and freaked both my mom and sister out. They brought me to the hospital, the same one I was just at, and I was admitted to psych. It was horrible. I think had I been a normal kid, a kid who didn't know about hunting, it would have helped. But I knew about it, and I couldn't talk about it. So I was stuck. I was either left to lie or to not say anything at all. I took the not speaking route. They got me to eat again and made me see some stupid psychologist. Pretty sure the guy hated me because for the three total mandated times that I saw him I think I said a total of five or six words to him, and they were all at once. I'd sit silently and he'd try everything to get me to talk. I didn't make a sound. I just sat staring off. They'd also put me on antidepressants, the ones that they could for an eight year old." she says, pausing to take a sip of her drink. "I hated them, but my mom made me take them for a while. They made me feel weird, not like myself. So that summer ended up being the first one I spent away from my family. I think it was also when I really started to drift from them. I'd stayed at Bobby's and read anything and everything I could about hunting and did whatever training Bobby would allow. Now that I think about it, I think I met you once that summer. Sort of." she says.

"What? What year was this?" he asks, trying to think back to any summer he'd been at Bobby's and met a girl.

"Uh, it would've been the summer of 1994. Yeah, the more I think about it you were there for a few days. Your dad had said Dean was lost on a hunt." she says.

"I think I remember that. My dad had dropped me off with Bobby. I was 10. I remember Bobby introducing me to a girl he called his niece, Lexi. That was you." he says, astonished.

"That was me." she says with a small smile.

"You didn't talk much. I don't think you said more than three words the few days I was there. Barely even saw you." he says.

"Yeah, I didn't talk much that year. Really didn't talk much until I started hunting unless it was to Bobby. He became the only person I really talked to for those eight years. I'd make small talk with my mom or Jo, but never really had full conversations with them. I spent every summer after that between his house and Caleb's. I'm actually a little surprised I never saw you again."

"Wow." he says.

"Yeah."

The waiter came with their salads then and they ate mostly in silence.

It wasn't until they were back in the car that Alexis continued her story.

"So, as I was saying before, this wasn't the first time something like this happened. I told you about the first, which is the only one in my file I think, well until now. The second time was a little different. It was after Zac died. I stopped eating again, but also stopped sleeping. I knew it was bad, and when Bobby came for the burial, he could tell. He got me to come back to his place with him, but it wasn't really helping. I voluntarily checked myself into a center that was supposed to help with things like that. They of course told me it was all PTSD related. But they did give me some medication to help me sleep, which it did. I slept for like twenty hours straight I think. The place actually helped a bit, got me eating again and sleeping a bit better. I spent about a week there and then went back to Bobby's and threw myself back into hunting. I'd thought I'd had it under control. I'm not even really sure why it came back like this this time. I mean no one died. Well I did, but I'm alive again. Maybe that's part of it, I actually died, so did Dean, and now we have an apocalypse we're supposed to stop. I just thought I could handle it on my own. I didn't mean for all of this to happen. I didn't mean to drag you into this mess." she says.

"You don't need to handle things like this on your own, Lex. I'm here and I want to help any way I can. You just have to talk to me." he tells her.

"But you shouldn't have to help. Like I said before you deserve someone so much better than me." she says.

Sam pulls the car over for a minute, tired of hearing her talk about herself like that. "Stop doing that. Stop putting yourself down. I still don't get how you don't see what I see. There is no one better than you, Alexis. Not for me. I love you. I don't care about all of this, it's part of you and it doesn't matter to me. It doesn't make me love you any less. If anything, it shows me how strong you really are, because you've been dealing with this most of your life along with the other crap you've been through and you're still here. You're my girlfriend who I will help and be there for anyway I can. Okay? Just please stop talking about yourself like that. It hurts me to hear that, to hear that when you look at yourself, you don't see what I see. There are so many good things about you, Lex, that I could go on forever." he tells her, not caring that he was starting to sound cheesy.

She turns to face him with glistening eyes and says, "What the hell did I do to end up with you?"

He smiles a bit and says, "Don't know. So do you believe me?"

"I'm trying. I'll try to stop talking so negatively about myself, I will. It's just hard. You're really the first person since Zac who's seen me in such a positive way. With just about anyone else I'm either too young, too weak, not good enough, or just a screw up."

"Well you're not. That's on those people, okay? Not you. Maybe you were a bit young for hunting at 16, but then again, so were Dean and I when we started. I mean my dad raised us in it. Most of the time I forget I'm two years older than you. And you are not weak, not at all. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met. You're also not a screw up. I mean everyone screws up once in a while, but you are not a screw up. And you are enough." he says.

"I love you." she says.

"I know." he says as he pulls the car back onto the road. "Now to Chicago."

* * *

The couple didn't arrive in Chicago until after nine that night. When they walk through the door of the apartment Alexis says, "There's a small grocery store not far from here that's open until eleven. I'm going to go get some things since there won't be almost anything here."

"I'll go with." he tells her.

An hour later, they're walking back through the door, each carrying a few bags of groceries.

"I'm not exactly tired, so I think I'm going to go to the hot tub for a little while." Alexis says once they finish putting away everything.

He raises an eyebrow at her so she repeats, "I'm not tired. I mean it."

"Okay. But do you have to go to the hot tub? Can't we stay here?" he says. Then he remembers the bathtub in the master bathroom and a smirk appears on his face.

"What are you thinking?" she asks, noticing the smirk.

"Oh, just that there's a bathtub that could be pretty similar to a hot tub right in this apartment. And it doesn't even require a swimsuit." he says.

"Oh. Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" she asks.

"I am."

"Well then. After you." she says, gesturing towards her bedroom door. Sam walks in and Alexis follows him.

"Most bathtubs probably aren't even big enough for you are they? You're a giant." she says to him.

"Maybe you're just short." he says with a laugh.

"I am not short. You're just tall." she says as she runs the water in the bathtub.

"Yeah, yeah. And I guess most tubs are too small. But this one won't be a problem." he says.

She pours some bubble bath in and waits for the tub to fill.

"Is this going to make me smell like a girl?" he asks.

"Maybe. But it smells good." she says with a small laugh.

He just rolls his eyes and says, "The things I do for you."

"Well you suggested it!" she says.

He chuckles and says, "I know."

Alexis turns on the jets and then turns to him and says, "You first, oh tall one."

He pulls off his clothes and sinks into the tub and then watches as Alexis does the same.

"I think I like this suggestion more than the hot tub." she says as she adjusts herself in between his legs.

She leans her head back to rest on his chest as he says, "I think I like this idea better too."

A few minutes later, Alexis lets out a long sigh, prompting him to ask, "What's going through that pretty head of yours?"

"Just thinking about the past few weeks. I mean we seriously do have an apocalypse to stop. What if we can't? What if Lucifer walks free? What happens then?" she says.

"I don't know. But hopefully we don't find out." he tells her. "Let's try and forget about hunting and angels and everything for the next few days." he says.

"Okay." she says.

"Hey, Lex?" he asks a few minutes later, remembering she had said she majored in psychology.

"Yeah?" she asks.

"Uh, back at the hospital, you said you had a degree in psychology. Do you?" Sam asks her.

"Yep. Completed college online with psychology as my major the summer before I turned 21. I think had I not ever known about hunting, I'd have gone to college. I mean I had good grades and a pretty high ACT score. I did apply to a few places actually and got into them all. Two even offered full scholarships, but I ended up sticking with hunting and online school." Alexis says.

"Wow. What colleges did you apply to?" he asks.

"Uh, Harvard, Stanford, University of Chicago, Northwestern University, and Columbia." she tells him.

"And you got into them all? Damn." he says.

"Yep. Both Stanford and UIC offered me full scholarships. Just ended up not going." she says.

"Which one do you think you would have picked?" he asks her.

"UIC. It's a beautiful school and would have been near Zac."

"Do you wish you would have gone?"

"No. I've made some decisions that I regret, but that's not one of them."

After a few moments of silence, Alexis changes the topic. "So, did you really mean what you said about going on a real date for my birthday?" she asks.

"Of course I did." he tells her.

"Okay." she replies.

The two spend another twenty-five minutes relaxing in the bathtub before getting out. They both put on pajamas and then lie down on the bed.

"If you have trouble sleeping or wake up in the middle of the night, wake me up, okay?" he asks her before turning off the light. She doesn't respond so he says, "Lex?"

"Yeah, okay." she finally says, turning away from him.

He frowns and ponders questioning her more. When he hears a faint sniffle, he goes with questioning her more. "Lex?" he asks.

She doesn't respond.

He brings his hand to her shoulder and gently tries to turn her to face him. "Hey, what's wrong?" Sam asks.

"Nothing." she mumbles.

"I don't buy it." he says.

When her eyes finally lock on his, she begins to cry. She hadn't cried yet. Not once since she'd died and come back to life, so he figured it was better to have her let it all out. He wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her closer to him. "It's okay. Just let it out. You're okay, I'm here." he says soothingly, rubbing his hand in small circles on her back. He kisses the top of her head and just lets her cry. A few minutes later her body relaxes and she falls asleep with her head against his chest and her left hand lightly gripping his shirt. Sam adjusts himself so his left arm is wrapped around her waist and the top of her head is just below his shoulder. He closes his eyes and listens to the light sounds of her breathing until he falls asleep too.

* * *

_A/N: Let me know what you think about the chapter! Did you like it being all Sam-centric or no? Should I do more like that, switching in between the two more often? Or should I stick with mainly the Alexis-centric POV? Your feedback is greatly appreciated! _


	22. Wanted

_A/N: Episodes skipped/briefly mentioned in this chapter: 4x5, 4x6, 4x7, and 4x8. Next chapter will pick up with 4x9, Anna's first episode. _

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I also do not own the two songs in this chapter, Breathe Me by Sia or Warrior by Demi Lovato. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 22: Wanted**

**-Alexis-centric POV- **

The next morning Alexis wakes to find she'd fallen asleep crying on Sam. _Great. As if I already didn't look weak. I don't know why he hasn't left yet. I mean why me? There's nothing special about me, not at all. _She turns to face the clock to find it's a quarter to six. _Guess five and a half hours is better than nothing _she thinks to herself. She decides to just get up since she knew she wouldn't fall back to sleep. Alexis didn't like being up this early, but right now her sleep cycle was majorly fucked up. She ended up baking cookies at six am while waiting for Sam to wake up. Things felt weird between them right now. She didn't feel like herself and Sam has had to take care of her more than he should. Though he tries to hide it, she sees how worried he is. And that's because of her. All this crap with her would send most people running, and has before, but somehow he's still here. Alexis can't shake the feeling of waiting for the last pin to drop. For him to realize she's more trouble than she's worth and leave.

Sam didn't wake up for another two hours, so by the time he did, Alexis had made four dozen cookies and was seated at the piano, just messing around. When she hears the bedroom door open she turns to greet him. "Morning." she says.

"Morning. Uh, how long have you been up?" he asks her. He then notices the cookies and asks, "Did you even sleep?"

"Yes." she says.

"It's barely eight in there morning and there's a couple dozen cookies on the counter." he says, and then as he picks one up he states, "And they're not even warm."

_So this is how it's going to be. He's going to interrogate me on how much I slept. _She knew he was just worried and wanted to make sure she was okay, but it made her feel like a kid he has to look after, not his girlfriend. "I slept, okay? I'm fine." she says.

"You are not fine. How long did you sleep?" he asks, looking at her seriously.

"Sam..." she says.

"Lex, I'm serious. I don't want a repeat of last week, I can't watch that happen, not again. So you need to tell me if you're sleeping and please don't lie to me." he says, walking over to her.

She could see the concern in his eyes as he sits down next to her. "I did sleep." she says.

"But for how long?" he asks, looking her in the eye.

"Couple hours. Woke up just before six." she says honestly, knowing lying would get her nowhere.

"That's not even six hours of sleep, Lex." he tells her, worry and a hint of fear evident in his voice.

"I know. But it's better than nothing." she says.

Before he can say anything else, she gets up and announces she's going to take a shower.

Once she gets into the bathroom she quickly closes the door and slides down it to sit on the floor. She hears footsteps so she knows Sam had followed her. _Please don't ask to come in. _

"Lex?" he asks through the door.

"Yeah." she says as calmly as she could.

"Would you be fine if I went and got some coffee?" he asks.

"Yeah." she says again, hoping he didn't hear that she was near tears.

"Alright. I'll be back soon." he says and then she hears his footsteps retreating out of the room.

She stands up and braces herself against the sink. She hadn't really looked in the mirror before, but God did she look awful. _I look horrible. My hair is disgusting, so is my skin. There are bags under my eyes. Ew. _She splashes some water on her face and tries to compose herself. _I just don't feel like myself. What can I do? _she wonders. She decides to go for a run. Running usually helped her clear her head and would hopefully help her get back to her self again. There was no way she could hunt like this and she couldn't take much more of Sam babying her. She felt like she was going to snap if she didn't do something, and she didn't want to snap at him. He doesn't deserve it. Alexis walks into her closet and throws on a sports bra, a racer back top, and some cropped yoga pants. She then grabs her gym shoes, fills a water bottle, and writes a note for Sam, which he won't be too thrilled about finding. Then she was out the door and heading down the stairs.

**-Sam-centric POV-**

Sam walks back through the apartment door not more than twenty minutes later. "Lex?" he calls out as he walks towards the kitchen. That's when he spots the note on the counter. He sets his coffee and bag down and picks up the note. _Went for a run. Don't worry. I'm fine. Be back soon. - Lex _was what it said.

"Running?" he says to himself. "Seriously?"

He tries to tell himself she's fine, it's just a run, but an hour passes and she still isn't back. He was beginning to get worried, so he calls her phone, only to find she'd left it at the apartment. _Great, so I don't know where she is, she doesn't have her phone, and I don't know the city well enough to go find her. And she's been gone over an hour. _He begins pacing and finds himself getting increasingly worried with every passing minute. _Where the hell is she? _Forty-five more minutes pass and she still hasn't showed up. _She's been gone nearly two hours _he thinks to himself. Just then he hears the door open and he's immediately heading towards the foyer.

"Lex?" he calls out. "Are you okay?" he asks when he sees her, eyes scanning her for any sign of injury.

"I'm fine. Lost track of time and forgot my phone. Sorry. I'm gonna go shower." she tells him and then brushes past him.

"Lex, wait." he says, turning to follow her.

"Sam, I'm sorry. I am. I really didn't want to worry you. I'm just - I'm just trying to get back to normal, okay? I haven't felt like myself. When I looked into the mirror today I didn't even recognize myself. Running helps me clear my head and I thought maybe it would help. I didn't mean to be gone so long or to worry you." she tells him.

He nods and then asks, "Did it help?"

"What?" she asks.

"The running, did it help?"

"Oh. Not really." she says a bit sadly.

He opens his mouth to say something more, but she cuts him off. "I'm sweaty and I want to shower. We'll talk after, okay?" she says.

He nods and watches her walk away. Sam lets out a sigh and walks over to the couch to sit down and just wait for her. They did need to talk. Like actually talk. Not have a mostly one-sided conversation.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

Once she gets in the shower, Alexis finds herself stalling. On her run she'd figured out what she wanted to say to Sam, but she was scared. Scared he would leave. That he would take the out she was going to offer him. She felt as if what was left of her world could implode at any minute. She didn't want Sam to leave, but she didn't want this either. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. She wishes she could go back to the day of the fire and change things. Wishes Dean would've gotten to Sam a minute earlier and then never needed to make a deal or that she had gotten to the roadhouse five minutes later and not ended up in the hospital with everyone thinking she was dead. She wishes that she'd stayed dead when she actually did die. Almost anything was better than this. Alexis felt like she was crawling out of her skin. When she looked in a mirror she saw a person she recognized staring back at her, but it wasn't a person she liked. It was the shell of a girl who pushed anyone and everyone away. Someone who isolated herself and became her own worst enemy. She had tried so hard to bury that person and make sure she never resurfaced, but unfortunately, she found those same dull and disconnected eyes staring back at her that she'd last seen after Zac died. The antidepressants were supposed to help with this, but all they did was make her feel like another different person. _Maybe I just need to get back into hunting. Pretend everything is okay and it will be. _Alexis lets out a tight laugh and thinks _Who am I kidding? It's not going to be okay for a long time, if ever. I don't even remember the last time things were okay. _Alexis takes a deep breath and composes herself, figuring she'd stalled long enough. She and Sam needed to talk. Seriously talk. And she needed to stop avoiding it.

Alexis walks into her closet and throws on an oversized sweatshirt and pair of leggings before walking out to the living room. She walks over to the couch Sam was sitting on and sits down next to him.

"So." she says.

"So." he responds.

"I, uh, I think we need to talk." she says.

"We do." he agrees.

"Alright. Well, I think I know what I need to say, so hear me out and then respond. Then I'll hear you out. Okay?" she says.

"Sounds good." he replies.

"Well, on my run today, I thought some things over. I don't- I don't know if this is working, Sam. We're not the people we were before Dean died, before this whole apocalypse thing. Dean died and you left me. You worked with Ruby. You were with Ruby, in more ways than one. And I don't hold that against you, I don't, because I died too. I was gone, Dean was gone, and you were entirely alone. Yeah, it hurt a little to see that the next person you were with was a demon, but you weren't cheating. I can't hold it against you. And that- that's not my point. My point is we're different, you know some things about me now that change things, and I can't help but think I'm more trouble than I'm worth." Alexis says, pausing to take a breath before continuing. "I mean, you worry about me way too much. And it's not like that's just you, like you're being overprotective or anything. It's me. I've given you a reason to worry that much, and it's not supposed to be that way. I haven't felt like your girlfriend, I've felt like someone you needed to look after. Like a kid you're stuck with. I haven't felt like myself, and I think I need to get back to that. So, I'm giving you an out. You can leave. Get up, back your bag, and walk out the door. Be done. You get a free pass, you just have to take it." she finally finishes, trying to keep her composure.

"Are- are you breaking up with me?" Sam asks, voice laced with sadness.

The hurt look on his face made her heart ache. "No. I'm letting you go if that's what you want. You deserve better, Sam. You do. Someone you don't have to worry about as much as you do me. It's up to you to take the out." she says, barely composing herself.

"Are you done?" he asks.

"Yes."

"Okay. Here's what I have to say. You're right. We aren't the people we were before Dean died. But I still love you. And the things that I've learned about you this past week do not change that. You are not more trouble than you are worth. If I thought you were, I probably would've left by now. But I haven't, and I'm not. I'm not leaving. If you want me to, you have to tell me. You have to break up with me if that is what you want, because I won't do it. It isn't what I want. I am not walking away from you, Alexis. I know you haven't been feeling like yourself, and I get it, but I want to help you get back to feeling normal again. I don't worry more about you now than I have before, at least not much more. You're my girlfriend, and that never seems to have a good outcome for me. Any woman I seem to get close with dies, so I worry about you. I did before we were even dating. And even if you ask me to leave, I will still worry about you. So even if you think I deserve better than you, I don't. I don't think I even deserve you, but you're the only one I want to be with. I'm not taking your out." he says.

Alexis doesn't know what to say. She was preparing herself for him to get up and walk away.

When she remains silent, Sam adds, "So you have to tell me what you want. What you think you need. If you want me to leave, you have to tell me. I will, it'll hurt like hell, but if you feel you need to be on your own, I will leave. You just have to say the word."

She opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. She's actually speechless.

"Lex?" he asks.

She just slowly shakes her head, not looking at him. No one has ever cared this much about her, ever. She didn't know how to respond to it, she couldn't. She didn't deserve a guy like Sam, but here he was and he didn't want to leave.

He brings his hand to her chin, gently lifting her face to his. She must have conveyed enough through her face because Sam snakes his right arm around her waist and pulls her onto his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll help you anyway I can. We'll figure this out." he says softly in her ear.

She nods and almost inaudibly mumbles, "Thank you."

* * *

**-Sam-centric POV-**

The two ended up sitting like that for a while and Alexis actually falls asleep. He gently carries her into the bedroom and places her on the bed. Sam decides to lie down next to her and ends up falling asleep also. When he wakes up an hour later, she's no longer next to him. He gets up and walks out to find Alexis seated at the piano, where she had been this morning when he got up.

She stops playing when she hears him so he walks over and says, "Keep playing whatever you were playing. Does it have words?"

She nods so he asks, "Sing too?" He loved hearing her sing. Usually her song choice conveyed things she needed to say but couldn't seem to find the words to.

"You really want me to sing?" she asks.

"Yes. Whatever it was you were just playing." he says.

She nods and restarts the song she'd been playing.

_Help, I have done it again_

_I have been here many times before_

_Hurt myself again today_

_And the worst part is there's no one else to blame_

_Be my friend, hold me_

_Wrap me up, unfold me_

_I am small, and needy_

_Warm me up and breathe me_

_Ouch, I have lost myself again_

_Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found_

_Yeah, I think that I might break_

_Lost myself again and I feel unsafe_

_Be my friend, hold me_

_Wrap me up, unfold me_

_I am small, and needy_

_Warm me up and breathe me_

_Be my friend, hold me_

_Wrap me up, unfold me_

_I am small, and needy_

_Warm me up and breathe me_

By the time she'd finished, he felt a tear or two beginning to form and noticed a few unshed tears were also in her eyes. He could feel the raw emotion in her voice. Alexis wasn't someone who liked to seem weak, she never opened herself up like this. Not once. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen her this open and vulnerable with him, not even the time she told him about Kyle.

"Um, do you- do you want to hear the song that inspired this tattoo?" she asks, pointing to the _Warrior _tattoo inked on her left wrist.

"You got it after a song?" he asks, not having heard the story behind it. He actually hadn't heard the story behind any of her tattoos other than the birds.

"Well, I could relate to the song a lot, so yeah. The word itself and the song both work, so I got it. I, uh, actually got it after everything with Kyle." she says.

The mention of Kyle sent a wave of anger through him, but he wanted to hear the song. "Then yes, I'd love to hear it." he tells her.

"Okay." she says, turning back to the piano.

_This is a story that I have never told_

_I gotta get this off my chest to let it go_

_I need to take back the light inside you stole_

_You're a criminal_

_And you steal like you're a pro_

_All the pain and the truth_

_I wear like a battle wound_

_So ashamed, so confused_

_I was broken and bruised_

_And now I'm a warrior_

_Now I've got thicker skin_

_I'm a warrior_

_I'm stronger than I've ever been_

_And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in_

_I'm a warrior_

_And you can never hurt me again_

_Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire_

_You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar_

_I've got shame, I've got scars_

_That I will never show_

_I'm a survivor_

_In more ways than you know_

_'Cause all the pain and the truth_

_I wear like a battle wound_

_So ashamed, so confused_

_I'm not broken or bruised_

_'Cause now I'm a warrior_

_Now I've got thicker skin_

_I'm a warrior_

_I'm stronger than I've ever been_

_And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in_

_I'm a warrior_

_And you can never hurt me_

_There's a part of me I can't get back_

_A little girl grew up too fast_

_All it took was once, I'll never be the same_

_Now I'm taking back my life today_

_Nothing left that you can say_

_'Cause you are never gonna take the blame anyway_

_Now I'm a warrior_

_I got thicker skin_

_I'm a warrior_

_I'm stronger than I've ever been_

_And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in_

_I'm a warrior_

_And you can never hurt me again_

_No oh, yeah, yeah_

_You can never hurt me again_

By the time Alexis finishes this song, a few tears had slid down her cheek. She brings her hand to wipe them away as she says, "I, uh, I've never actually played that for anyone before. It's a song by Demi Lovato. It's the only song I've ever connected that thoroughly to, so I got the tattoo. And whenever I look at it, I think of the song."

"It's a beautiful song, Lex. Sad, but beautiful." he tells her.

She nods and then looks up at him. Right now she looked so much younger, or maybe she just looked her age. She was only 22, and sometimes he forgot that. She was the age he was when he left college, when he lost Jess.

He could see all the emotion in her face and she looks almost hopeless as she asks, "Sam? Do you- do you think we'll be okay again?"

Sam could see how scared she was of losing him, of being alone again. She'd let him in and that wasn't easy for her and now she was scared he'd hurt her. That maybe he'd find someone better or realize she truly wasn't worth it.

He reaches out and grabs her hand, closing both of his hands around it. "We will be. You'll be okay, I'll be okay, and we'll be okay. I'm not going anywhere. Alright?" he tells her.

She nods again and then seems to compose herself, slightly closing herself off again. "Um, since you said let's try and forget about hunting and stuff for a few days, would you want to go see a movie? Pretend we're a normal couple for once?" she asks him.

It was one in the afternoon on a Saturday and they had nothing to do. No hunt, no research, nothing. And he had said he wanted to forget about hunting for a few days, so he answers, "Yeah. Sure."

She smiles slightly and says, "Alright. Well I'm going to change and we can go to a theater. I don't really know what's out right now, but we'll pick something I guess."

"Okay. Well I haven't been to a movie theater since like college, so we're definitely getting popcorn. And candy." he says.

"You can't go to the movies and not buy popcorn. That's not an option." she says.

He laughs and watches as she walks back into the bedroom.

A few minutes later she walks back out wearing a different, slightly nicer over-sized sweater. She had put a small amount of make up on and put a cross body bag on. He wasn't used to seeing her wearing much make up or a purse. Knowing her though, she probably had at least one weapon concealed somewhere. He notices something different with her hair so he asks, "What'd you do to your hair?"

She looks down at her hair and says, "Oh nothing. That's why it's kind of messy. After I showered I just let it air dry and didn't brush it, and that usually results in a curly, slightly frizzy mess."

"Oh. Well I like it. Ready to go?" he asks.

"Yep." she says and then turns for the door.

The couple ended up seeing two movies, _Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist _and _Choke. _By the time they were walking out of the theater it was close to six.

"Up for dinner? Or did you eat too much popcorn?" she asks him as they walk to the car.

"You can't eat too much popcorn at a movie. But yeah, dinner sounds good. Where do you want to go?" he says.

"Well, we are on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. There's a gazillion places we could go. There's a Portillo's not too far from here, uh there's a Hooters on the block next to the apartment, there's also an Ed Debevic's right by the apartment. You pick." she says.

"What's Ed Debevic's?" he asks, not having heard of it before.

A mischievous grin makes its way on to her face as she says, "Oh, you've never heard of it? Let's go then."

With the way she said that and the grin on her face, he figured she was up to something.

Once they get in the car, he says, "You know, this is nice. Being somewhat normal for once." he says.

"Yeah. It's a nice break. Even though that theater wasn't exactly normal. I mean a three floor theater?" she says with a laugh.

"Yeah. But I guess that's what you get when you go to a movie theater in downtown Chicago." he says.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

_So he's never been to Ed Debevic's and doesn't know what it is. This'll be fun _she thinks to herself. Once they were seated and the waiter had taken their order Sam finally says something.

"That waiter has insulted me and you three times already and they all seem so rude. Why are we here? I mean how can those people work here and people still want to come?" he asks.

Alexis just laughs, causing Sam to become even more confused.

"Why are you laughing?" he asks.

"Sam, that's the point of this place. The workers are all supposed to be rude. They're never overly mean, it's funny." she says.

"Well you could have told me that." he says.

"What would the fun in that be? Zac did the same thing to me my first time here." she says with another laugh.

"You know, maybe when Dean gets done with his hunt we can bring him here, tell him they have good pie." Sam says.

"I like how you think." she says with a smirk.

The two finish dinner and then head back to the apartment, spending the rest of the night cuddled on the couch watching TV.

* * *

The next day she convinced Sam to let her do some training, saying that if she was going on the next hunt with them she needed to get back in the game after the past week. They spent the day training. Running, sparring, even went to a shooting range. The day of the 6th was spent doing almost the opposite. The two did almost nothing. Watched TV, read, ordered in. Nothing productive whatsoever was done. Alexis had been sleeping a little bit better, but her nightmares had come back. They'd wake her up and she'd be up for a bit, but she was able to fall back to sleep so she didn't mention them to Sam. She didn't want him to worry more than he already was. It's not like he could do anything about the nightmares anyway.

It was around five on the morning of her birthday when she woke up, but not from a nightmare. As soon as she lifted her head she knew what was wrong. She was on her feet and in the bathroom immediately, leaning over the toilet, trying to quietly puke, if that was possible. She didn't want to wake Sam. _Great I'm sick. Perfect way to start my birthday. I never get sick, why now? _

"Lex?" she hears, followed by footsteps. Sam was quickly at her side. "Hey, you okay?" he asks.

"Mhm, fine." she says, trying to stand up but quickly finding she couldn't.

Sam helps her up and then puts his hand to her forehead. "You're burning up." he states.

"I'm fine." she says, shooing his hand away.

"Nope, you're sick. Come on, let's get you back to bed." he says, wrapping his arm around her waist and guiding her back to the bed. Sam gets her back into bed and then says, "You rest. I'm going to go out and buy you some medicine. But first, your temperature. Do you have a thermometer here?"

"Top shelf in cabinet near the shower. And the store won't be open yet." she says.

"This is Chicago, something will be open." he says and then turns for the bathroom.

**-Sam-centric POV-**

_She's sick. Great, _he thinks to himself as he walks back into the bathroom. _It's her birthday and she's sick, she's not going to be happy about this at all._ When he opens the cabinet he notices a picture stuck to the side. He pulls it out and sees three kids, two girls and one boy standing in front of a Christmas tree. The boy, who looked about eleven, was holding a baby that didn't look much more than a year old. There was a toddler with blonde hair holding onto the boy's leg. He flipped it over and _Matt, Jo, and Lexi - Christmas 1986_ was written on the back. He flipped it back again and studies the picture closer. _So that's what Matt looked like. He and Lex have the same smile. _Sam puts the picture back and searches for the thermometer. Once he finds it he heads back out to the bedroom.

She reluctantly lets him take her temperature and the thermometer reads 102.3. "You have a 102.3 degree fever, Lex. That's really high." he tells her.

"Sam, I'm fine." she says, moving to get out of bed.

He brings his hand out to stop her and says, "Oh no you're not. You're sick. You need to stay in bed."

She rolls her eyes at him and slumps back down on the bed.

"I'm going to go out and find a store that's open to buy some medicine. See if you can get back to sleep, it's early." he says.

She nods slightly and turns over.

As he's in the elevator, his phone rings. _Who is calling me at five thirty in the morning? _

"Hello?" he asks.

"Hey Sammy." his older brother says on the other end of the line.

"Oh. Hey Dean, what's up?" he says, walking out of the elevator.

"Hunt's over so I was going to head back to Chicago, but I know today is Lex's birthday so I can wait a day if you want." Dean says.

"No, just head here. She's sick." he says.

"Oh really? Sick on her birthday? Damn that sucks. That girl has not had great luck lately."

"No, she hasn't. I'm heading out to get medicine now. So you think you'll be here today?" Sam asks.

"Yeah, sometime tonight. See ya then, Sammy." Dean says.

"Bye, Dean." he tells his older brother, hanging up the phone.

When he gets back from the store he finds Alexis in the living room. "You're supposed to be in bed." he tells her.

"I'm cold. I wanted to grab another blanket." she says, holding up the one in her hand. "I'm going back to bed."

Before she could get to the room though, Sam had scooped her up.

"Sam, what're you doing?" she asks him.

He just walks into the room, sets her on the bed, and then moves to sit next to her, pulling the covers and her additional blanket over them.

"Sam?" she questions.

"I thought I'd help warm you up. Besides, you always tell me I'm a human furnace." he says.

"But you could get sick." Alexis says.

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't care. You need to take some of this." he says, pulling the medicine out that he had bought.

She makes a face at it and shakes her head. "I feel better."

He brings his hand to her forehead again and sure enough she's still warm, possibly more so than before. "You're still burning up. So you have to take some of this."

"You know, this is not how I pictured my 23rd birthday." she states.

"I know, I'm sorry. But if you want to get better quicker, you've got to take this." he says.

She wrinkles her nose but relents. "Fine," she says, "but you've got to get me some Sprite first."

"Be right back then."

Once she takes some medicine, she falls back to sleep. Sam does as well.

When Dean gets there that night, the two are on the couch watching a movie.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

It was around seven when Alexis asks Sam to go get food. "Sam? Could you maybe go out and get me some soup? You should get food for you and Dean too." she says.

"Yeah, I'll go. What do you want and from where?" he asks her.

"Chicken noodle soup from a restaurant called Leona's? It's awesome." Alexis says.

"Yeah. I'll see what Dean wants and I'll go." he says and then gets up.

After Sam leaves, Dean's phone rings. From what she could hear, it sounded like someone had a hunt for them but Dean had said they couldn't take it.

Once he hangs up, Alexis speaks up, "You two could take that hunt."

"And leave you?" he asks.

She nods her head.

"Yeah, no." Dean says.

"Why not? I'd be fine." she says.

Dean laughs and says, "You're kidding right?"

She gives him a confused look in response.

"Alexis, we can't leave you. There's no way in hell Sam would leave you right now and I'm not going to ask him to." he tells her.

"So what, you don't trust me anymore?" she asks.

He walks over and sits down next to her. "It's not that. I trust you. I do, with my life and with Sam's. I'm just not sure I trust you with your life right now. I don't think you should be left alone right now." Dean says, his emerald eyes locked on hers.

"So? Why do you care?" she asks. Last time they'd spoken he was pretty pissed at her.

Dean recoils slightly, as if her words had hurt him. "You think I don't care about you?" he asks, voice laced with disbelief.

She casts her eyes downwards and doesn't say anything.

"Lex." Dean says. "Hey, look at me."

She brings his eyes to his and can see the concern and guilt behind them.

"I do care about you. You've become family. Your whole family has become family. What I said to you last time we spoke was wrong. I shouldn't have blown up like that, okay? I overreacted and I'm sorry." he tells her.

"But- but you weren't wrong." she says, not understanding how he could apologize to her.

"No, I was. I don't know why Cas sent me. Maybe I got my signals mixed and he just wanted me to make sure Sam wasn't doing whatever the hell he had been and wanted me to know about Ruby. But I was wrong. Yes, you should have told me about Ruby. And yes, other hunters probably would want to hunt both you and Sam, but I'm not going to let them. Sam stopped and your abilities do come from angels. They taught you to use them. I was wrong, okay? I am sorry."

She nods.

"I would like to know what Sam was doing that you stopped though." the older Winchester says.

"You'd have to ask him. Though I'm not sure he'd tell you." she says.

"So it was that bad?" he asks, clearly concerned about his little brother.

"Dean, angels wanted it stopped. It obviously wasn't good." Alexis says.

"Yeah. Well he stopped so that's all that matters, right?"

"Right. So have you heard from our feathered friends?" she asks.

"Nope. Angels man, not what I would've expected had I believed in them." Dean says.

"Oh, I know." she responds.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I got you something." the older brother says, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a small box and hands it to her. "Happy birthday, Lex." he says.

"Dean, you didn't have to get me anything." she says.

"Just open it. It's not much but I hope you'll like it." he says.

She opens it up and inside finds a key to a car and a black angel wing keychain. But the car key wasn't just to any car. It was to the Impala. "Dean, is this a key to the Impala? Your baby?" she asks in disbelief.

"It is. I, uh, had a copy made a while ago and figured you deserved it. You've driven it before and never crashed. You've never insulted her. So the key is yours. As long as I know you're using it, it's all good." he says.

"Thank you so much." she says, throwing her arms around him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

When she catches the look on his face she says, "You want to say more. What is it?"

"It's just uh, it's - man am I horrible at this crap. Look, Sam and I, we've never really had a constant woman in our lives. Never. I mean Sam had Jess for a few years, but other than that, never. My mom died when I was four, Sammy was just a baby. And my dad wasn't really friends with any female hunters, at least none that we knew. Then you came along. And I guess I've just started to feel like you're the little sister I never had. You've known us about two years now and you're still here. I mean you died, and so did I, which is beyond weird, but you came back to life and still stuck with us. And that says a lot. You're family Lex, and family, well, family can drive the Impala." Dean says.

"Who are you and what have you done with Dean Winchester?" she questions.

Dean laughs and Alexis says, "Thank you, Dean. You know, after Matt died, I never thought I'd ever have that kind of relationship with anyone again. I mean no one can replace Matt, but you've started to feel like an older brother to me. And at first that scared me because losing Matt hurt like hell and I knew if I lost you it'd feel the same. And it did. It did feel like that when you died. But now I don't know, because we both died and yet we are both sitting here very much alive. What I do know is you've become family too and in a different way, so has Sam. So thank you."

Dean nods in understanding and then says, "Alright. Chick-flick moment over?"

Alexis laughs and says, "Yeah. It's over."

"Good. I hate those."

"Sure you do, Dean, sure you do." she says.

Sam returns a few minutes later with food and the three spend the rest of the night watching TV on the couch. She was actually squashed in between both Winchesters on the couch, making her feel incredibly small, but also very warm and very loved. She may have been sick on her birthday, but it ended up being one of the best she'd had. And for the first time since she came back to life, she was actually happy.

After Dean had gone to bed, Sam goes to grab something. When he walks back out of the bedroom, he's carrying a small box.

"This is for you. Happy birthday, Lex." he says, handing her the box and then sitting down next to her.

Inside was a thin silver chain with two silver birds on it, two birds that almost exactly matched her tattoos. The back of one bird had a protection symbol engraved on it and the back of the other had a date. _5-13-07. _The day she had woken up in the hospital after the fire. The day they started dating.

"I noticed you'd lost the necklace I gave you two years ago and I thought you'd like this one." he says.

"Sam, I- I love it. I'd kiss you but I'm sick." she says.

"I'm glad. And I'll settle for a hug." he says.

A few minutes later the two head to bed.

The next day Alexis spends mostly in bed as she still had a fever. But the day after, the 9th, she was feeling much better. The three stayed in Chicago for a few more days before heading out on another hunt. They'd picked up a few weird hunts. Dean got ghost sickness on one of them. A group of teenagers scared him once. Just by standing around. A hunt near Halloween led to another angel encounter. This time it was with both Uriel and Castiel. Unfortunately, they didn't stop the seal. The three also found a hunt that had a wishing well that worked. There was a giant, suicidal, teddy bear along with a kid with super strength. Things just kept getting weirder and weirder.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry this took a little longer than normal to upload. Also, I hope you guys don't mind I skipped so many episodes. Please leave a review telling me what you liked, didn't like, things like that __(:_

_Side note: Some of my chapter titles are song titles, did you notice that? This one is Hunter Hayes' song, Wanted. _


	23. Devils and Angels

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 23: Devils and Angels**

The three were currently in between hunts so they'd decided to spend the night at a bar. Sam and Dean were hustling some guys at pool and Alexis stood, drink in hand, watching them. At one point Sam looks up towards the bar and Alexis follows his gaze. Ruby. She walks over to the demon, figuring Sam would be close behind her.

"Ruby." she states, leaning against the bar.

"Alexis." the demon replies.

"What's up?" she asks.

"Something big. I should probably tell you both at the same time." Ruby says.

Alexis nods and turns her gaze to Sam, who was heading towards them.

"You've got a lot of nerve showing up here." Dean says before Sam can even speak.

"I just have some info and then I'm gone." the demon says.

Ruby explains something about a girl named Anna Milton. She apparently escaped from a mental institute and demons seemed to be after her.

"Maybe we should check it out." Sam says.

Dean looks hesitant so Alexis speaks up. "I think we should. And it's not like we're working anything right now."

Not long after Ruby showed up, the three were on the road heading for the institution this Anna chick escaped from and Sam was on the phone trying to get more information. It sounded like the girl checked out, so they were in for a long drive with an unhappy Dean.

"I'm going to try and get some sleep. Can you two not rip each other's heads off while I do that?" she says.

"Yeah. Get some sleep." Sam says, glancing back at her.

She did try to sleep but the brotherly bickering in the front seat was making it difficult.

* * *

Two days later they'd finally reached the hospital this girl Anna had escaped from. According to the doctors, Anna's illness was recent, as in within the last two months. She had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. She apparently thought demons were everywhere. The lady who'd been helping them showed them a file of her drawings. There were many religious symbols and even a mention of some of the seals that had been broken. From the looks of it, this girl was not schizophrenic. After the hospital, they went to check out the girl's home. Unfortunately, they found both parents dead. Next they headed to the church that Anna's father worked at. They found the girl there, and she knew who they were.

Sam had said their first names and the girl asks, "Sam? Not Sam Winchester?"

"Uh, yeah." Sam says.

The girl, Anna, walks out and says, "Then you're Dean. The Dean. And you're Alexis. It's really you. Both of you. The angels talk about you. Mostly Dean, but they've talked a bit about you too Alexis." she says.

Anna then goes on to talk about how she knows Dean was in Hell and Alexis was in Heaven but the angels brought them both back and some think they can help save them.

She then turns to Sam and says, "And some of them don't like you at all." The red head steps a bit closer and says, "They talk about you all the time lately. I feel like I know you."

"So you can hear the angels?" Alexis asks, starting to understand.

"Yeah. I mean I don't talk to them, but sometimes I just hear them in my head. You know what I mean, don't you." Anna says.

"I think I do. Angels can communicate telepathically. I can, sort of, but only with one angel at a time. It sounds like you're tuning into what I'll call Angel Radio. You can hear them when they talk, even if they aren't talking to you." Alexis says.

"Yes. It's like that. Sometimes there's so many that I can't shut them out." the girl says.

Sam then asks her when the voices started and her response was the date Dean died. The first words she'd heard were _Dean Winchester is saved. _Ruby shows up moments later, somewhat frantic, and tells them they need to go. She says a big time demon is coming and of course Dean has a problem with it. Due to the bickering, they run out of time to get out, leaving them trapped when the big time demon does show up. Sam hides Anna and Ruby tells Alexis the two would have to work together.

"There's no way you're going to be able to get close enough to touch him. You two have to do your joint thing and pull him, fast." the demon says.

Sam and Alexis share a look before locking hands, focusing on the doorway. They try to pull him but can't seem too. He's too strong she can sense it.

"That tickles. You don't have the juice. Even together. I mean, you, little lady, could kill me, maybe. If you got close enough to touch me. Which is why you'll be the first to go." the demon says, advancing towards them.

Sam steps in front of her and Dean grabs her and pulls her behind him. Both of them were trying to keep her as far away from the demon as they could. The demon flings Sam forward and Dean advances. Ruby pulls Alexis off to the side and grabs Anna from the closet. Then the three women are suddenly no longer in the church, but an abandoned cabin.

"How did you just do that?" Alexis asks the demon.

"It's a demonic power also. Not an easy one to do, especially with others." Ruby says, leaning against the wall of the cabin they were in.

"You saved me." Anna states.

"Look, I'm going to have to find Sam and Dean and make sure they got out of there and can find us here. Will you watch her?" the demon asks Alexis.

"Yeah. Find them. We'll be fine here. Angels can't find me." Alexis says.

Both Ruby and Anna raise an eyebrow, prompting her to explain further.

"An angel carved something on my ribs that hides me from angels. They can't find me unless I call out to them."

"Oh." they both say.

"Well, I'll be back." Ruby says and then walks out the door.

Once the demon is gone, Anna turns to Alexis and asks, "My parents didn't make it, did they?"

"I'm sorry." she tells her sympathetically.

"Why me? Why is this happening to me?" Anna says.

"I don't know. But I promise we won't let anything happen to you, okay? You're safe with us." she says.

Anna nods and then takes a seat.

They sit in silence for a while before Alexis asks, "So, um, what do the angels say about me? If you don't mind."

Anna looks up and says, "Oh, um not as much as Dean. Most believe you can help them. Some don't like you though, they don't like where your powers came from and believe you should not have them. None of them know what angel did it either. It seems to be a big deal up there."

"Really? I didn't know that." _So no one knows it was Gabe?_

* * *

Ruby returns sometime within the hour only to smoke out, leaving the two girls with a corpse on the ground. _Lovely. _A while later the Winchesters show up.

Once they walk in Sam immediately makes sure both she and Anna are okay. "Anna, Lex, you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah." they both say.

"Are you guys okay? You two are the ones who got left with that demon." Alexis says.

"We're good." Dean says. Dean then came as close as he ever would to apologizing to/thanking a demon.

A few seconds later Anna starts to panic. "They're coming." she says, as the lights begin to flicker.

Sam and Dean lead Anna to the back room and Alexis and Ruby try to seal off the entrances.

They load weapons and Ruby asks, "Where's the knife?"

"Uh, about that..." Dean says.

"You're kidding." the demon says.

"Guys, this will do." Alexis says, pulling out the angel blade that she'd been keeping on her.

"What the hell is that?" Dean asks.

"Angel blade. Only thing that kills them." she says.

"And you've had that how long?" Both Ruby and Dean question.

"Uh I dunno know, a while. Kills anything I think." she says.

"Seriously?!"

"Alright we can talk about that later, just be ready to use it Lex." Sam says, stopping an argument from erupting.

The door bursts open and both Castiel and Uriel walk in. Alexis had the blade hidden from view. She didn't want to kill Castiel, Uriel maybe, but not Cas. She'd use it if needed though.

"Please tell me you're here to help. We've been having demon issues all day." Dean says.

"I can see that. Want to explain why you have that stain in the room?" Uriel asks, obviously referring to Ruby.

"We're here for Anna." Castiel says.

"What do you mean?" Alexis says, stepping slightly forward, hand on the blade behind her.

"Give her to us." Uriel demands.

"Are you going to help her?" Sam questions.

"No. She has to die." Cas says.

"You want Anna? Why?" Sam asks.

Uriel steps forward, saying, "Out of the way."

"Hell no." Alexis says, pulling out her blade and stepping in front of the Winchesters. Sam moves to block her, but she sidesteps him.

Both Uriel and Castiel's eyes widen. "Where did you get that?" Castiel asks.

"Not important. Why do you want Anna?" Alexis asks.

"Anna is not who you think she is." Castiel says.

"She is worse than this abomination and must die." Uriel says, glancing again at Ruby.

"Now give us the girl." Uriel demands.

"Sorry, get yourself another one." Dean says.

"Who's going to stop us?" Uriel says. Then, with his hand, the angel throws Alexis backwards and out the door. She slams into a tree, dropping the blade, and is out cold.

"Lex!" she faintly hears eventually. Someone is shaking her and two voices are shouting her name.

"Alexis!" she hears again. "Dammit Lex wake up!"

That sounded like Dean. She can't seem to open her eyes but she vaguely registers someone lifting her up into their arms. _Sam._

"Lex, come on. Wake up. Just open your eyes." she hears her boyfriend say.

He brings his fingers to her neck and mutters something under his breath. "Dean, her pulse is somewhat weaker than it should be, she's bleeding, and she won't wake up." Sam says, voice clearly frantic.

"Shit. Get her back inside. We can patch her up but then we gotta get out of here."

"The blade..." she manages to mumble.

"What? Lex, what'd you say?" Sam asks.

"The blade." she says, not much louder but managing to at least open her eyes.

"Dean, find the blade." Sam says.

"Got it. Now let's go." the older Winchester says.

Sam carries her inside and places her on the bed. "Hey, keep your eyes open." Sam says, noticing her droopy eyes.

"I'm tired..." she says.

"I know. You just gotta stay awake alright? You've probably got a concussion." Sam says.

"Get her shirt off." Dean says, walking towards them with a first aid kit.

She knows her back is all torn up, as her thin shirt was the only thing between her skin and the tree bark, as she'd taken her jacket off earlier. Anna helps Sam peel off her shirt and then gasps slightly at the sight of her back.

"Damn. You're scratched up pretty bad, Lex." Dean says upon seeing her back.

"Does it need stitches?" she questions, trying to focus on not falling asleep. Figures, she's had trouble falling asleep for weeks even when she's told to and now when she'd like to, she's told not to.

Sam begins cleaning out the wounds on her back and says, "I think you'll be okay with butterfly band aids. The bark scratched you up, but not too deeply."

As Sam patches up her back and Ruby cleans up Anna's arm, Dean rattles off questions to her.

"Yep, you've got a concussion." he states, handing her an ice pack for her head.

"Perfect." she mutters.

"Alright, this should do for now. Anything else bleeding or hurt?" Sam asks her.

"Pretty sure I dislocated my shoulder." she states, lightly touching her left shoulder.

"I'll pop it back in." Dean says.

She braces herself for the pain and Dean quickly moves her shoulder back into place.

"Damn that never hurts any less. Thanks." she says.

Sam pulls off his plaid shirt and hands it to her, saying, "Here, put this on. We should get going."

"Thanks." she tells him and then slips the shirt on. "This is like a dress on me. A big plaid dress."

"Let's get going." Ruby says.

"Definitely. But where?" she asks.

"Bobby's?" Sam says.

"Yeah. Let's go. We can call him from the road." Dean says.

With that, Ruby disappears and the other four head out.

* * *

Dean and Anna had gone in a different car to Bobby's as Sam and Alexis went to get the Impala. When they get back, Dean and Anna were down in the panic room.

"Let me check your back again, Lex." Sam says once they're standing in the library.

"I'm fine."

Sam just gives her a stern look so she relents.

"Fine. I need a shirt of my own anyway." She unbuttons the plaid shirt and slips it off, leaving her once again in the navy blue sports bra she had on.

"This needs to be cleaned up better. Why don't we head upstairs and do that." Sam says, leading Alexis upstairs.

"I guess I should shower." she says once they get in the bathroom.

"I suppose I should shower with you, seeing as you dislocated your shoulder and all. I can reach your back much more easily." Sam says with smirk.

"Yeah, yeah. Start stripping then." she says with a laugh.

When he pulls off the long sleeve grey shirt that he had on underneath his plaid one, Alexis notices how cut up he was. "Sam! What happened to you?" she questions.

"Well uh, we kind of had to use the window to get out of that church." He says.

"The window? We weren't on the first floor!" she exclaims.

"I know, I know. It was really our only option though. Demon knife didn't work." Sam says.

She just shakes her head and starts the shower. Once they're both in the shower they just stand there staring at each other for a minute.

"So, what do you think is up with Anna?" she asks, turning to let the water hit her chest and neck and get some of the dirt off.

"I have no idea. But we have to figure it out. I mean angels want her dead and demons want her for God knows what." Sam says, grabbing a washcloth to start cleaning her back better. "Damn did that tree really mess up your back." he states, lightly running his fingers over the scratches.

"I know. Probably won't be sleeping on my back for a few days. Probably won't be sleeping really at all actually."

She doesn't have to be looking at Sam to know he was scrunching his face up slightly in confusion.

"Um, concussion? And this whole thing with Anna? That's going to lead to very little sleep." she says.

"Oh, yeah. Probably."

The two finish up and Sam then applies more bandages to Alexis' back.

Once they're downstairs, Sam calls for Dean. They show Dean the little information they'd found on Anna. Since no one can figure out why the angels want Anna or what she did, the brothers suggest calling Pamela, a psychic. The one Bobby had brought them to the day Dean came back. The one whose eyes had been burned out by Castiel. Dean leaves to pick her up and the others head back to the panic room. Once Pamela arrives, they all gather in the panic room with Ruby standing just outside. Sam was closest to the door, Alexis was seated on a chair in between the brothers, and Dean was perched on the desk nearest to Anna, who was on the bed in the room. Pamela puts Anna into a deep state of hypnosis. It starts out calm, but Anna begins to panic after a few minutes. The lights begin to flicker, the door swings closed, and then the lights shatter. Dean moves to help her but gets thrown backwards. Pamela manages to wake her up, but the girl who wakes up seems entirely different.

As she sits up she says, "Thank you Pamela, that helped a lot. I remember now."

"Remember what?" Sam asks.

"Who I am." the red head says.

The three hunters share a look and Dean says, "I'll bite. Who are you?"

"I'm an angel." Anna says.

They get upstairs and Anna explains further. She claims she isn't like the others. Both Ruby and Pamela say they don't find it reassuring. She explains that she disobeyed. She fell. Ripped out her grace and became human. Ruby speaks up, saying they're all screwed. That eventually Heaven or Hell would get to Anna.

"I know. That's why I'm going to get it back." Anna says.

"Get your grace back?" Alexis questions.

"Yes. Get my grace back." the red head says.

"You can do that?" Dean asks.

"If I can find it." she says.

When Anna says she was actually falling, Sam picks up on something. He connects that when she fell, it would have resembled a meteorite. He pulls out his laptop and finds something.

"You know, you're pretty buff for a nerd." Ruby comments.

"Yeah, it's rather misleading." Alexis agrees. She didn't feel threatened by Ruby, not anymore.

While Dean and Anna had taken Pamela home, Sam had tracked it down to Union, Kentucky. So that was where they were headed from Sioux Falls.

Once they got to the car Alexis speaks up, "You know, I think I'm going to take my Camaro. Meet you guys there."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Dean says and Sam nods in agreement.

"All of us in the Impala is a tight squeeze for such a long drive. And besides, I miss driving it." Alexis says.

"Then I'm coming with you." Sam says, walking over to her.

Ruby glances between Dean and Anna and Sam and Alexis before she says, "So am I."

The demon walks over to them as Dean and Anna get in the car. She couldn't blame the demon for not wanting to be in a car with Dean and a fallen angel.

"Follow us." Dean says through the window.

"Will do." Alexis says and then heads towards where her car was parked.

Ruby hops in the back and Sam slides in the passenger seat and then Alexis drives away, quickly catching up to Dean.

* * *

After driving all night, they get there sometime in the afternoon the next day. The tree where Anna's grace touched down was stunning. Unfortunately, the grace was gone. Someone had taken it. Alexis' bet was on Uriel, or maybe Cas, but she didn't say anything. They holed up in an abandoned building while trying to figure something out.

Dean and Ruby were bickering when Anna announced the angels were talking again. "What are they saying?"

Alexis could hear them, well one of them, shouting in her head too. She brings her hands to her head and crouches down. From what she could make out, it was Castiel and he was talking extremely loudly.

"Lex!" Sam exclaims moving to bend down next to her.

"What are the angels saying?" Dean asks while Sam tries to figure out what was happening to Alexis.

When Anna began to talk, the voice Alexis was hearing made more sense.

She was hearing the same thing, just from one angel and louder.

"They're saying 'Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight or-" she says, stopping there.

"Or what?"

"Or we hurl him back to damnation." Alexis says, leaning on Sam to stand up.

"You heard that too?" Anna asks.

"Just one. Sounded like Castiel. Just much louder and more threatening than normal." she says, massaging her temples.

"Okay, well we have Lex's blade. That'll kill them, right?" Sam says, still supporting Alexis.

"One blade. Even if we tried, we couldn't kill more than one before others would kill us, or at least Anna." Alexis says.

Later on, Sam had fallen asleep doing research and Anna and Dean were outside, leaving Alexis with Ruby.

She walks over to the demon and says, "Okay. Hypothetically speaking, what would happen if we got both the demons who are after Anna and the angels after her in the same place?"

"That- that might actually work." Ruby says, understanding what Alexis was proposing.

"Sam's not the only smart one." Alexis says.

"Clearly. I can get the demons here. You guys will have to get the angels. But they can't figure out we're setting them up. We've got to play this exactly right. I'll be back." the demon says and then walks off.

Dean walks in sometime later and Alexis walks over to him.

"You slept with her." she states.

Dean looks at her, shock all over his face. "What? No, no I didn't." he says, trying to play it off.

"Yeah, you did." she says.

"You don't know anything." he says.

His face then turns darker, as if he'd remembered something.

"What is it?" she questions.

"Uriel came to me in a dream. Demanded we give him Anna or they'd throw me back into Hell. Then he threatened that they knew how to get to me, which is Sam. And Uriel has Anna's grace."

"I knew it." she mutters. When she sees how truly scared Dean was she steps in front of him and brings her hands to his cheeks. "Hey, that's not going to happen. Okay? You're not going back to Hell. Not ever, you hear me? I think I figured something out. And now that I know for sure that Uriel has Anna's grace, my plan should work."

His fear seems to diminish a bit as he asks, "You have a plan?"

"I do."

Soon after, Alexis runs her plan by the Winchesters and Anna.

"That is a really good plan, Lex." Dean says once she finishes.

"Thanks. Now we just have to make sure it works." she says.

They work out what they're going to do but by the time morning rolls around, Alexis and Sam get slightly worried. There was still no sign of Ruby. At some point the doors blow open and in walk Uriel and Castiel. The three hunters stand around Anna and then put on a very convincing show.

Anna steps forward and says, "Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready."

Castiel and Anna exchange some words and Alexis feels herself getting anxious. Where was Ruby? Then, as if on cue, a bloody Ruby and some other demons show up. The humans in the room, including Anna, step aside. A fight breaks out between the angels and demons, verbal at first but then physical. Castiel goes for the stronger demon as Uriel takes on the other two. Somehow, Cas couldn't kill the head demon. Seeing as Cas was near death, Alexis springs forward, despite the Winchesters' attempts at stopping her. She lands on the demon's back and tries to do whatever she can to him. It gets the demon off of Castiel, but lands Alexis in some trouble. She channels all her energy into hurting the demon and he is visibly affected, but not enough. Whatever it was that kept Cas from killing him was affecting her too.

"You are a strong one. You've got to have archangel juice in you. It's a shame I'll have to kill you, you could have been fun." the demon says as he manages to throw Alexis off his back.

She lands on her feet and staggers backwards, pulling the angel blade out.

"Ah ah ah, can't have that." the demon says, flinging the blade from her hand and then the already dead demon into her, knocking her backwards near Ruby.

He turns towards the brothers and out of the corner of her eye Alexis sees Anna approach Uriel and rip her grace off of him. She throws it onto the floor and regains her grace.

She falls to the ground and screams, "Shut your eyes!"

Alexis tries to get her hands free from underneath the body on top of her, but Ruby moves and covers Alexis instead. The demon had moved closer to Alexis and clasped one hand over Alexis' eyes. A bright white light and powerful wind filled the place and when it was gone, so was Anna and the big shot demon, Alastair.

Everyone stands up and Dean grabs the angel blade. "Well, that actually worked. Damn good plan, Lex." Dean says once Castiel and Uriel vanish.

"Thanks." she says.

"Wait, Lex, you're bleeding." Sam says, eyes on her back.

"Crap. Must have ripped open some of the scratches from the tree." she says, bringing her hand to her back.

"Let me see." Sam says.

She pulls off her shirt and turns her back to the brothers.

"Yeah this'll have to be cleaned up. Let's get back to the Impala." Dean says.

When they do Sam lifts her on to the hood, her back to him. Dean pulls out the first aid kit and hands it to Sam.

Once she's cleaned up she hops off the hood and says, "I've got to take my car back to Bobby's so why don't I just meet you two there?"

"Maybe you shouldn't go alone." Dean says.

"Yeah, I'll go with you." Sam says.

"No, you two go together. I kind of miss having long drives to myself. They give me time to think." she says.

"But-" Sam begins but Alexis cuts him off, "I'll be fine."

* * *

The next month the three of them spend on various hunts. They all gathered for thanksgiving at the roadhouse though. Ellen, Jo, Arizona, Ellie, Bobby, Dean, Sam, and Alexis were all under one roof. Thanksgiving with a bunch of hunters was definitely interesting. Dean of course insisted there be pie. He even helped Alexis bake some. That resulted in more ingredients on them than it did in the pie.

**-Thanksgiving Flashback-**

"Making the pie?" Dean asks, walking into the kitchen in the roadhouse.

"Yep. One of them."

"Can I help?" he asks.

"You want to help? Dean Winchester baking a pie?" she questions, disbelief in her voice.

"It can't be that hard." he says.

Alexis laughs and says, "Wash your hands then."

After they peel and cut the apples, Dean asks, "So, what goes in now?"

"Here, crack this egg." she says.

That's when Dean cracks the egg on Alexis' head.

"You said to crack it. Didn't tell me where." he says.

She'd said nearly the same thing to Zac the first time she met him. "Oh, you're so dead." she says, grabbing an egg and cracking it on his head.

"Oh you didn't." the older Winchester says.

"Oh I did." she says, scooping up a handful of flour.

She tosses it at him and Dean reaches for the small bowl of sugar that was sitting out. She's pelted with sugar as she ducks to avoid another egg. She grabs a pan to use as a shield and fires an egg at Dean, hitting him square in the chest.

"Hiding now are we?" he questions.

He moves towards her and she splashes the cup of water that was sitting near her on him.

"That's it." he says and then lunges for her, lifting her up.

"Dean!" she shouts.

"Can't exactly throw food at me if you're not on the ground." he says.

"Hey - what the hell?" Sam says as he and Jo walk in.

Dean sets Alexis down and the two share a mischievous glance before charging for the two other hunters in front of them. Dean goes after Jo and Alexis is after Sam.

"Hey!" both Sam and Jo exclaim.

Alexis, with an egg in hand, jumps on Sam's back and cracks an egg on his head as Dean throws a handful of flour on Jo.

"You're going to regret that." Sam says, trying to get her off of him.

"Oh I am?" she says.

"You're so dead Winchester!" she hears her sister exclaim.

It quickly turned into an actual food war. Dean and Alexis against Sam and Jo. Dean grabs the carton of eggs and Alexis holds up a pan in front of them as they launch the eggs at Sam and Jo. Shrieks erupt from across the room, mostly from Jo, but a few from Sam too. Jo and Sam are on the side with the sink and her sister grabs the sink hose that pulls out. Jo begins blasting them with the water and Alexis grabs the flour off the counter. She moves for her sister as Dean moves for Sam, bag of sugar in hand. Alexis tosses flour at Jo and manages to get the hose away as Dean launches sugar at Sam. The hose was then turned on the older Harvelle and younger Winchester.

A few minutes later Ellen and Bobby walk in. "What in the hell are you four doing?" Ellen asks.

The four hunters just look at each other and burst into laughter. She hears Bobby mutter, "Idjits."

"You all better clean this up." Ellen says before turning to follow Bobby out.

**\- End Flashback-**

The three spent the first half of December on some odd hunts. Two of them ended up being humans that were doing the killing. One involved magicians. The boys had encountered a siren without her. Alexis had been with Bobby and showed up at the end to help take care of it. There was also a hunt at a school the Winchesters had attended for a bit. It was a vengeful spirit of a kid Sam had known. They hadn't had much activity on the whole angel and impending apocalypse spectrum, which was a bit odd. Ruby had shown up during the magician hunt and said the angels were losing the battle, that thirty-four of the seals had been broken. She accused them of wasting time, said they needed to go after Lilith. Sam of course refused, saying it was too dangerous, it would get one if not both of them killed, stuff like that, so Ruby left. Some agreement was made though, as Sam and Alexis were still working on their powers with her. Soon enough Alexis figured, something would show up involving a seal and the angels, that was for sure. And like clockwork, the hunt they stumbled across in Greybull, Wyoming a few days before Christmas ended up involving a seal. People had stopped dying so the three had decided to check it out. What they discovered and what they did was a whole mess of crazy.

* * *

_A/N: Let me know what you think of the chapter (: _

_(Side note: The title of this chapter is also a song. The artist is Toby Lightman, same person who sings the song that I titled the whole story after.)_


	24. Abducted

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 24: Abducted**

Things had been a little weird between Sam and Dean since the hunt with the siren. They'd both apparently said some rather harsh things to each other and neither could seem to let it go entirely. Alexis hated when things were like this with them, it always just felt weird for her. There was just a little bit too much tension and she was stuck, unable to do anything about it. Bobby had called Sam about something odd going on in Wyoming. No one had died in the past week and a half. And it was how they weren't dying that was odd. One guy was shot in the heart by a mugger and walked away perfectly fine. So that's where they headed, and the guy with bullet in his heart was whom they paid a visit to first. He claimed it was a miracle. The Lord was giving him a second chance. From what they could tell, he hadn't made a demon deal. After talking to him, Dean went back to the motel and Alexis and Sam went to check out more of the people who miraculously lived. There was a cancer survivor who was declared dead. His wife had pulled the plug and now here he was alive. The last death that Dean could find was a kid named Cole who died ten days before.

"So what do you think it is?" Sam asks the two.

"Maybe it is what they say." Dean says.

"Doubt it. There's got to be something bad going on around here. I mean death means reapers, right? Where's the reaper at for this town?" Alexis questions.

"You're right. But you can't kill death, can you? How could the reaper just be gone?" Sam says.

"Beats me." she says.

"Well maybe we should talk to someone who might know." Sam says.

"What?" both Dean and Alexis question.

"The kid." the younger Winchester says.

"The kid is dead." Dean says.

"Exactly. If he's the last person to die around here then maybe he's seen something. We should talk to him." Sam says.

"Oh and how do you propose we do that?" Alexis asks. Sam wasn't making much sense.

"Séance." he says.

"Really? A séance?" she asks.

"Yes."

"Great." she says, rolling her eyes.

That night, they head to the graveyard. As Sam is setting up, Dean says, "This job is jacked, man."

"How so?" Sam asks.

"If we face this, whatever it is, people are going to start dying." Dean says.

"Look, I don't want them to die either. But there's a natural order." Sam says.

Both Alexis and Dean say, "You're kidding right? Natural order?"

"What?" Sam asks.

"You don't see the irony in that?" Dean asks.

"Sam, all three of us have died before. That- that is not natural." Alexis says.

"Yeah, but the normal rules don't exactly apply to us." Sam says. _Guess he has a point. _

"We're no different than anybody else." Dean says.

"I'm infected with demon blood. Lex has angel grace in her. And you, you've been to Hell. We're far from normal." Sam says. "Let's just finish this." he adds.

That's when some dude with a flashlight shows up. Except he wasn't just some dude, he was a demon. And not just any demon, he was Alastair. "No time to chat. Got a hot date with death." Alastair says as he launches Dean into a tombstone.

He turns to Sam and Alexis, who had grabbed each other's hands, and tries to fling them but can't. "You two got stronger. You've been working with that little slut." he says.

"You have no idea." Sam says and then flings the demon. Alexis felt slightly winded, they had been practicing and Sam was becoming stronger, he was able to draw on her powers more. The demon smokes out before the two could try exorcising it. Alexis hunches forward a bit and Sam catches her.

"Hey, you okay?" he asks, stabilizing her.

"Yeah, still takes a lot out of me though." she says, gripping his arm. "It's working though. We should be able to face Lilith soon. Then this could be over, hopefully."

"Hopefully." Sam says.

The two then move over to Dean and get him back to the motel.

They'd dropped him off and gone back out. When they get back Dean announces he probably has a concussion.

"So demons, huh?" the older Winchester asks, sitting up.

"Yeah, so much for miracles." Sam says.

"What the hell happened with Alastair again?" Dean asks.

"He tried to fling us and couldn't. So he smoked out." Sam says.

_That isn't entirely true, but close enough._

"How come he couldn't fling you? I mean, you Lex, I get. He couldn't seem to last time either, but you he could, Sam."

Before Sam could say another lie or brush it off, Alexis says, "We were holding hands. When we do that, our powers kind of link up. Become stronger. That was probably it."

Sam gives her a look but she ignores it. She didn't like lying to Dean.

"Link up?" Dean questions.

"I don't really know how to explain it but yeah. They like feed off each other or something." she says.

"Oh. Well you know what, I could go for some food. Lex why don't you come with me to pick something up." Dean says, not exactly asking her.

"Uh, sure." she says, grabbing her jacket.

Once they're in the car Dean asks, "Alright, what the hell? Sam's keeping secrets, and I can't stop him, but you, what are you doing?"

"I don't want to lie to you. Sam seems to think you're better off in the dark, but I don't. I think that only comes back to bite people in the ass. So I spoke up this time." she says as Dean pulls out of the motel lot.

"Okay, then talk. What have you two been doing?" he asks.

"I said I wouldn't lie. Didn't say I'd tell you everything. We've been practicing. Getting stronger. If we want a shot at killing Lilith, that's what we need to do. But what Sam was doing before is over. He hasn't done it again. Yes, he's using his powers that happen to come from demons, which may not be the best thing, but he's not doing what he had been." she says.

Dean shakes his head and says, "Slippery slope."

"Believe me, I know. I'm managing it the best I can." Alexis tells him.

"Just be careful." he says, eyes on the road.

"Doing my best." she says, turning to look out the window.

The rest of the drive is silent as is the ride back.

When they get back, Sam says Bobby called. "Bobby thinks we're on to something with the reaper. He thinks it's gone, and not just gone, kidnapped." Sam explains.

"By demons. Why?" Dean asks.

Sam then reads something out of a Bible from Revelations. "Basically you kill a reaper under the solstice moon, tomorrow night by the way, you've got yourself a broken seal." Sam says.

"Great." Alexis says.

"How do you ice a reaper? You can't kill death." Dean states.

"I don't know, maybe demons can. Where the hell are the angels is what I want to know. We could use their help for once." Sam says.

"It looks like we're going to have to take care of this one ourselves." Dean says.

"What are we going to do? Just swing in and save the friendly neighborhood reaper?" Sam asks, sarcasm seeping through his words.

"You got a better idea, I'm all ears." the older Winchester says.

"Reapers are invisible. The only people that can see them are the dead and the dying." Sam says.

"And angels." Alexis adds.

"Well, if ghosts and angels are the only ones that can see them, then we become ghosts." Dean says.

"What?" Alexis questions, not sure she heard him right.

Sam says, "You do have a concussion."

"Sounds crazy, I know." Dean says.

"It is crazy." Alexis says.

Sam asks, "How?"

"Pamela." Dean says.

They call her and Dean heads to pick her up.

* * *

"Lex, can we talk?" Sam asks sometime after Dean leaves.

She turns herself to face him and asks, "Sure. What's up?"

"What was that earlier with Dean?" he questions, not sitting down.

"What?" she asks, not following.

"You told him stuff, and who knows what you told him in the car. So, what the hell?" Sam says.

She stands up to be at least eye-shoulder level with him. "So let me get this straight. You're mad at me for not lying to your brother?" she says.

"It's not lying. I thought we agreed not to tell him." he says.

"Oh but it is lying. And WE didn't agree on anything. You decided not to tell him and just assumed I would. Well I won't. I won't lie to him about this, Sam."

"Why not? You've lied to him, and me, about other things." Sam says.

The two were quickly raising their voices, each beginning to lose patience with the other.

"You can't even look at me and tell me you've never lied to me, can you? Because you have and you know it. So what, you can lie to me but not Dean? Do you like him or something?" he says, almost yelling.

"You did not just ask me that." she says, shaking her head. "You know what, I don't have to be here right now. Call me when my boyfriend is back. Because he's clearly not here right now." she adds, walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"Somewhere that you aren't." she says and then walks out the door.

He doesn't even follow her. _Great. Guess that was our first real fight. And it was about Dean. He couldn't seriously think I'd like Dean, could he? _she wonders as she walks, heading nowhere.

* * *

Two hours later she gets a call from Sam but ignores it. _If he wants to talk he can come find me. _He calls a few more times before he gives up, realizing she wasn't going to answer. About thirty-five minutes later, Sam finally finds her. She had ended up at some empty park sitting on one of the swings.

"Is this seat taken?" he asks when he gets over to her, gesturing to the swing next to her.

"Depends, are you going to accuse me of liking your brother again?" she asks.

"Lex, I'm sorry. I was being an ass." he says.

"Are you done being an ass?" Alexis asks.

"Yes." he says.

"Then the seat's not taken."

He sits down and says, "I'm sorry. I flipped out on you for nothing. I shouldn't have acted like that. I don't really know why I did. And then what I said to you about liking Dean, I shouldn't have. I don't know, I guess I've just seen how close you two have gotten and my mind just went there and I'm sorry."

"Do you not trust me?" she asks, turning to face him.

"What? Of course I trust you." he says, his face scrunching up in confusion.

"Then how could you even ask me that? How could your mind go there? That hurt, Sam. That you could even think I cared that much or felt that way about anyone but you. I don't like that it hurt, but it did." she says.

"I don't. I don't know why I said that, Lex. I don't. I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you. Well maybe I did, about the lying part, but not like that. Not about that." Sam says, his eyes pleading her to forgive him.

"Yeah. I know. Well Dean should be back soon, we should go." she says, standing up.

"Lex..." he says.

"We should go." she says firmly.

The two head back in silence and then sit in silence while they wait for Dean, which was a whole hour, an hour of heavy silence.

Sam gets up to answer the door when Dean knocks.

"I can't even begin to tell you how crazy you all are." Pamela says as she walks in.

"So which one of you brainiacs came up with astral projection?" she asks.

"Yo." Dean says.

"Of course." the psychic says.

"So lets be clear. You want to rip your souls out of your bodies and take a little stroll the spirit world." she adds, sitting down on the bed.

"Mhm." Dean says.

"Do you have any idea how heavy duty insane that is?" Pamela asks.

"Maybe, but that's where the reaper is. So-" Dean begins, but is cut off by Pamela, "So it's nuts."

The two argue a bit more but Pamela agrees to do it.

"Lex, you're staying here." Sam says and Dean nods in agreement.

"What? Hell no!" she exclaims.

"Yes you are." Dean says. "We need someone to stay here and keep watch. You can keep Pamela company."

"You two are unbelievable." she says, slumping down in a chair. They were sticking her on body watch_. _She watches as they set up, unamused. _This is going to suck._

Since she was stuck in a room with her boyfriend and boyfriend's brother's bodies and a blind psychic she barely knew, Alexis was left to dwell on the fight with Sam. She eventually fell asleep. Sometime later, she was woken up by Pamela.

"Alexis." the woman says firmly.

"I'm up. What's wrong?" she asks immediately, hearing the edge in the psychics voice.

"I think something is coming." Pamela says.

"You locked the door? I'll get the window."

"It's too late. Something is here."

"What? I don't see anything, but if you sense it, it's gotta be somewhere." Alexis says, immediately scanning the room.

Suddenly a hand clamps around Alexis' mouth. The dude, well demon, was literally right behind her. He must have been hiding behind the chair she'd fallen asleep in. She bites down and tries to fit the demon off long enough for Pamela to wake the boys.

"Hurry!" she shouts.

Another comes through the door, which had been busted open, and heads for her. With the other demon holding her back, this newcomer easily knocks her out and drags her out of the room.

**-Sam-centric POV-**

Sam had just woken up only to see Pamela get fatally stabbed.

"Pamela!" he shouts.

The demon that had been in the room ran, which was rather odd. Blood was pouring out of the wound, meaning Dean must have fixed everything.

"It's okay. But Lex - they took her. Sam, you've got to find her." Pamela says as Dean wakes up.

It was as if a ton of bricks had just hit him. _They took her? No, no no no. _

"What happened?" Dean ask, noticing Pamela.

"Go. Leave me. Find Alexis. She's not strong enough, not to take on multiple demons on her own. Go." the psychic tells them.

"Demons have Lex?" Dean asks, eyes scanning the room and realizing Alexis was nowhere to be found.

"Pamela..." Sam begins, but the psychic cuts him off with a look.

She closes her eyes and is dead a minute later.

"God dammit." Dean says, knocking a candle off the table.

"We shouldn't have made her stay here." he says, bringing his hands to his head.

"Hey, we'll find her. She'll be okay." Dean says, walking over to him.

"What if we can't, Dean? We fought today and if that's the last conversation we have..." he trails off, tears beginning to form.

"Sammy, we'll find her. Don't think like that, okay? We'll find her." his older brother says.

"Castiel! We need you!" Dean then shouts. Nothing happens. "Dammit Cas, it's Alexis! Demons have her." the oldest Winchester adds.

A flap of wings is heard followed by, "What? They have Alexis?" Castiel had showed.

"They took her! Can you find her?" Dean asks.

Sam was just sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.

"I cannot locate Alexis." the angel says.

"What? Come on, Cas!" his older brother exclaims, becoming angry.

"I cannot find her. She's hidden." the angel in the trench coat says.

_Hidden? What? _"What do you mean?" Sam asks, now moving to stand next to his brother.

"She has something that keeps her hidden from angels. I do not know what or how she got it, but I can't find her. No angel, except for maybe the one whose grace is in her, can find her. But that angel is unknown." Cas explains.

"So basically you're not going to be of any help in finding her." Dean states.

"I'll help. I just cannot immediately locate her. I'll search the area." Castiel says, disappearing only to reappear before either brother could say a word.

"She's no longer in this city." the angel announces.

"Son of a bitch." Dean mutters.

"Dammit." Sam mumbles.

"How the hell far could they have gotten? They've had her what, thirty minutes?" Dean says.

"I don't know. We've gotta find her. What- what if they kill her?" he asks.

"She'd be dead already." Castiel states.

"What?" both brothers ask, staring at the angel.

"If they wanted her dead, they wouldn't have taken her. They'd have killed her here with your friend." the angel says.

"I almost wish they had." Sam says sadly.

"What?" Dean asks incredulously.

"If they'd killed her here, we'd know where she was and Cas could've brought her back. But- but they took her. Which means they want her for some reason, which means they're going to torture her. And we can't find her." he explains.

"Fuck." Dean says, and then adds, "We have to find her. Now."

The two hunters and angel spend the next four hours looking for her to no avail. She could be anywhere by now being tortured and Sam couldn't get to her.

* * *

**-Alexis-centric POV- after being taken- **

Alexis wakes up almost entirely naked, bound and handcuffed to a metal table.

"Oh look, she's awake." a voice says.

Her eyes scan the room, counting five demons. She's outnumbered and vulnerable. Her arms were bleeding and her wrists were handcuffed to separate arms extending from the table. She was strapped down at the waist, knees, and ankles, and there was a gag in her mouth. All she had on was her bra and underwear. Everything else that had been on her was slightly off to the side.

"Now, now, not so powerful are we? You can't move and perform your little trick and you can't speak to call your angel friends. And I don't see the Winchesters around to save you." another demon says, walking over to her, knife in hand.

"See now, the boss wants you alive. But who says we can't have a little fun in the meantime?" another demon says.

"Let's see if we can bleed the angel grace out of you." the demon with the knife says, dragging it down across her left thigh.

_How the hell am I going to get out of this? _

They cut her up and taunt her for some number of hours before getting bored.

"Don't go anywhere." a demon says with a laugh before they all walk out.

She was getting tired due to blood loss but knew she couldn't fall asleep. Not yet. She spots the keys to the handcuffs on the small table near her and focuses on getting it up and over to her, her telekinesis saving her once again. Once she does, she's able to unlock the one restricting her right wrist. She then manually undoes everything else and grabs both her necklace with an exorcism recording charm on it and her jacket with the angel blade in it. That's when she spots the fire extinguisher sprinkler system in the building. Alexis moves as quickly as she could and manages to turn the water to holy water. Her vision was beginning to get spotty and she could barely keep herself up, but she had to for a little bit longer.

"Hey!" a demon shouts upon entering the room.

They charge at her, but not before she could pull the fire alarm. Screams erupt from the demons as they're caught in the spray of holy water. She presses the charm on her necklace and barely mumbles, "Castiel." She then falls backwards, not able to hold herself up any longer. If no one came soon, she wasn't sure she'd make it out alive.

* * *

**-Sam-centric POV-**

It was nearing two am and they still hadn't even gotten a lead on Alexis.

Suddenly the angel reappears, only saying, "We have to go."

Cas places a hand on each brother and then they're no longer standing in the same place.

"Where are we?" Dean asks.

"Alexis is in there. I can't get in, they've warded the building."

"What?" Sam asks.

"She called out to me. Barely, but I heard it. Hurry, she sounded very weak." the angel says.

Sam takes off in a sprint, ignoring the shouts from Dean. He didn't care if he was running in unprepared on a bunch of demons. Lex was in there and he needed to get to her.

"Sammy, wait up!" Dean exclaims, barely catching up.

The first room they enter is empty, but the sprinklers were going off.

"The hell?" Dean asks.

The whole first floor is clear, but in the first room they check on the second floor, the brothers come across six bodies.

"Lex!" he shouts when he spots hers among them.

Both he and Dean are quickly at her side. She was only in her bra and underwear and she was bleeding everywhere.

"Sam..." Alexis mumbles.

"Hey, hey, I'm here. You're going to be okay." he says, trying to stop some of the bleeding as Dean does the same.

"We're going to get you out of here, Lexi." Dean says.

Her eyes begin to droop, causing Sam to become more frantic. "Don't close your eyes. You've got to stay awake." he tells her firmly.

"I'm tired... I can't...stay awake... Sam... I ... I love you." she says before closing her eyes.

"No!" he shouts, lifting her up and cradling her in his arms. "Dean, she's dying!" he exclaims, becoming more and more scared and frantic by the second.

"Get her outside. To Cas." Dean says. "I'll get her stuff. Go Sammy."

He runs as quickly as he can out of the building and shouts for the angel.

"Castiel!" he shouts again.

"Let me see her." the angel says upon appearing.

Sam sits, laying her head in his lap.

"I can heal her enough so that she'll live, but I cannot heal her entirely. There's too much damage." the angel states.

"Just do it, Cas." Sam says impatiently, freaked out by the fact that Alexis just nearly died in his arms.

The angel nods and places his hands on some of her wounds and continues until he's touched every single one. The demons had sliced her legs, her upper arms, and her stomach up pretty badly.

"She'll need a lot of rest. She also won't wake up for a while." Castiel says as Dean walks out of the building.

"She going to be okay?" Dean asks as he gets over to them.

"With rest, yes. She lost a lot of blood and used a lot of her energy to escape from however they had trapped her." the angel says.

"That table in there had handcuffs and multiple straps. She somehow got out, after already being cut up, and she then took down five demons by herself." Dean states, sounding amazed.

"Damn." Sam says, Alexis in his arms once again. "The sprinklers. She probably made the water holy water." he adds once he thinks about it.

"Smart girl." Dean says.

"No kidding. I'm not sure I would've thought of it." he says.

"Me neither." his older brother agrees.

"Hey Cas, could you zap us to Chicago with our stuff instead of the motel? If she's got to rest, it shouldn't be in a motel." Dean asks the angel.

Castiel nods and seconds later they're just outside of Alexis' apartment.

"I'll get your stuff." the angel says and disappears again.

Sam carries Alexis inside and lays her down on the bed and then lies down next to her. He couldn't let her out of his sight, not after what had just happened.

"She's going to be okay, Sammy." Dean says from the doorway.

"What if she's not?" he asks.

"She will be. She just needs to rest."

Sam nods and just continues watching her. He wasn't leaving her side until she woke up.


	25. Eyes Open

_A/N: Sorry it__'s so short, but here's the next chapter._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Lexi.**

* * *

**Chapter 25: Eyes Open**

**-Dean-centric POV-**

"Sammy, why don't you go out? Get some groceries or something? You've sat here all night." Dean suggests to his little brother.

"I can't. I can't leave her." Sam says, not even taking his eyes off Alexis, as if she'd disappear if he did.

"You can't just keep sitting here. Besides, when she wakes up she's going to be hungry. I'll sit here with her, okay? You need a break." he tells Sam.

It was getting to be nine in the morning, Alexis had been out cold for over six hours and Sam had barely even moved from the spot next to her.

"But-" Sam begins, only to be cut off by Dean.

"But nothing. Go get some groceries and come back. She's not going anywhere Sammy, she's going to be fine." he says.

"Fine. I'll be back soon." Sam says and then gets up.

As soon as he hears the door shut, Dean sits down near Alexis.

"You've got to wake up, Lex. You've got to wake up and be okay. Because if you're not…" he says, trailing off. He didn't want to think about what losing Alexis would mean. Not having her around is unimaginable.

"I don't even think you can hear me, but you just need to wake up. Open your eyes, Lex." he continues.

Figuring no one could ever prove he was getting this sappy, he goes on. "Sammy needs you, Lex. More than you know. We both need you. I don't know what demons want with you, but they're not going to get you, okay? We won't let them."

About a minute later he hears, "Who are you and what have you done with Dean Winchester?"

"Lex? You heard all of that?" he asks. _Thank God she's awake. Well not God, he probably had nothing to do with it._

"Every word." she says and then coughs.

"Could you uh, get me some water?" Alexis asks.

"Water. Yeah, be right back." he says and then heads out to the kitchen.

When he gets back, Alexis is attempting to get out of bed. "Hey, hey, what are you doing?" he asks, setting the water down and reaching her just as she trips. She'd have fallen flat on her face had he not caught her. "You need to be in bed." he says, holding her up.

"I'm fine." she says.

"You just woke up. Castiel said you need rest. No walking around for you right now. Back in bed." he tells her. "You can fight me on this, but it's a fight you won't win." he adds upon seeing the look in her eye.

She scrunches up her face and says, "Fine."

Once she's back in bed and has had some water she asks, "Where's Sam?"

"Sent him to get groceries. I should probably call him." he says, reaching for his phone.

"No, don't." she says, stopping him.

"What?" Dean asks, not understanding.

"Don't call him." she says.

"What- why not?" he asks her, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Just don't. He'll be back soon enough." Alexis says.

She wasn't making any sense and he could see the old walls being put back up in her mind. She was pulling away again, cutting herself off for some reason.

"Lex, what's going on?" he asks, not entirely sure he wanted to hear her answer.

She turns away from him so she's looking out the window and says, "When Sam gets back you two should leave."

There was no emotion on her face or in her voice. The way she was acting was like the past few years never even happened.

"What?" he asks entirely shocked and completely confused.

"Demons want me. Alive. They also want Sam. Dead. They'd like you dead too. If we're apart, it's harder to find us, harder to get us. If they found us, they'd kill you both and make me watch. What happened yesterday would be a walk in the park compared to what they'd do if they got us all. That- that can't happen." she explains, still not looking at him.

He understood exactly what she was saying, and a small part of him agreed, but he knew they shouldn't split up. "No. We are not splitting up. No way, not happening." Dean says.

"It's the best way. I can't…" she trails off, her mask faltering a bit.

"You can't what?" he asks.

"I can't watch them kill Sam. I can't watch them kill you. I just can't. They can slice me up seven ways till Sunday and I won't care. They can't hurt me that way. They can hurt me through you two, and they know that." she explains, the walls beginning to crumble.

"Look, I get what you're saying, but we can't separate, Lex. Back with the demon my dad wanted the same thing. It didn't work. We were stronger together, and in the end that's how we brought the son of a bitch down. It's the same here with this. We need to stick together." he insists.

"Dean, I can't. I just- I can't." she says, on the verge of tears.

She wasn't one to cry easily, so seeing her like this was unsettling. "Alexis." he says.

"Dean." she responds, matching his tone.

"You can't do this." he says, feeling like they were headed for an argument.

"Oh I can't?" she asks, sarcasm dripping off her words.

"Think about Sam, Lex. You can't do this to him." he tells her, trying to reason with her. _Who am I kidding?_ _She's a Harvelle. You can't reason with a Harvelle that doesn't want to be reasoned with. _

"I am thinking about Sam." she defends.

"Are you really? Because if you were, you'd know you can't do this to him. It'll destroy him, Lex!" he says, beginning to raise his voice.

"He has you! And at least he'll be alive! If I stay he'll quite possibly end up dead!" she retorts, also raising her voice.

Dean just scoffs and shakes his head.

"You can't seriously think I'm happy about this. It's just what's best for all of us." she says.

The two continue arguing back and forth until Sam walks in.

* * *

**-Sam-centric POV-**

Sam had just walked through the door and was heading into the kitchen when he hears shouting. _What the hell? _He quickly sets down the bags and heads towards Alexis' room. There he found Alexis arguing with Dean. Relief flooded over him that she was awake but he was confused as to why they were arguing.

"Guys?" he says and the two abruptly fall silent, turning their attention to him.

"What's going on? Why were you yelling?" he asks.

"Ask her." Dean says coldly.

"Lex?" Sam asks, turning to her.

Alexis just turns and stares out the window, not saying anything.

Dean scoffs and says, "You can't even tell him. She wants to leave, Sammy."

_Leave? What? _He looks to Alexis, hoping to see it wasn't true, but the distant look he finds on her face tells him Dean was right.

"Go." he says to his older brother.

"What?" Dean asks.

"Go. I need to speak to my _girlfriend _alone." Sam says, some anger seeping into his words. He was angry, but mostly hurt. Part of him wanted to yell and part of him wanted to cry, so he went with sitting next to her and trying to keep his cool.

Without looking at him Alexis says, "You and Dean should go."

"Lex…" he trails off, not knowing what to say.

"You don't need to stay, so you should just leave." she says, still not looking at him.

"Lex, look at me. What's going on?" he asks, cupping her chin in his hands, turning her head to face him.

She shuts her eyes and doesn't say anything.

"Are- are you breaking up with me?" he asks dejectedly.

She opens her eyes and for the first time makes eye contact with him. He can see how torn and upset she is.

"Did I- did I do something? What I said the other day, I'm sorry. I didn't-" he says but gets cut off by Alexis putting her finger to his mouth and then shaking her head.

"Then what is it? Why do you want to leave?" Sam asks, not at all understanding.

"I just- we have to split up." she says, clearly fighting tears.

"Why?" he asks.

She looks like she's struggling to find words so Sam says, "Is it because of the demons?"

Alexis nods.

"That's why we _can't_ split up, Lex. They want you. If we leave you, they can get you more easily."

"Let them." she says.

"What?" he asks, shock evident on his face.

"Let them get me." she repeats.

"But- but they'll torture you or kill you, or both." he tells her.

"I don't care."

Those three words pierced through him like a bullet. _How can she still not care about her own life? _

"I do." he responds.

"The demons don't just want me, Sam. Yes, I'm the one they want alive. But they want both you and Dean dead. If they find us all, they'll- they'll kill you and make me watch. I can't Sam. I can't watch that. So we split up. They're going to be after me more I'm guessing, so it should throw them off your track. If they find me, so be it. At least they don't find you two also." she explains.

_Dammit. Everything she just said makes sense. _"We're stronger together Lex. If the demons find all of us, we fight them. You took out five demons on your own. We'd get out. You just- you just can't leave. I can't lose you, I won't." he tells her, one of her hands enclosed in his.

"That took me hours, Sam. By the time I'd take enough of them down to get to you, you'd both be dead. I don't want to leave, I don't, but it's what's best." she says, her eyes locked on his.

She was barely holding it together and all he wanted to do was hold her and tell her everything would be okay. "It's not what's best, Lex. What's best is we stick together, we fight them if they come. If we die, well we die. But something tells me the angels aren't going to let Dean die, and if one of us dies, Dean will demand we're brought back before he helps them. And Castiel said he couldn't find you. You're hidden for some reason. So if we split up and you get in trouble, we'd never be able to find you." he argues, trying his best to convince her to stay.

She closes her eyes and buries her face in her hands.

She looks so small, so fragile, and so scared. Three things she very rarely looked let alone all at the same time. Not able to sit and watch her like that anymore, he moves himself so that he is positioned behind her and pulls her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. "Just say you'll stay." he says softly.

"But…" she says, trailing off.

"Please." Sam pleads.

"If I lose you…" she says brokenly, trailing off once again.

"You won't. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. We're both going to be fine, okay? You will not lose me. Not a chance." he tells her firmly.

Alexis nods against his chest as a tear runs down her face.

"Please just stay." Sam says.

"I'll stay." she says quietly as a few more tears escape.

"Hey, no tears. It's all going to be okay. We're all going to be okay." he says, wiping away a few of the tears on her face away.

She turns herself sideways slightly and buries her head in his shoulder.

The two sit there in silence for a bit before Sam speaks up. "Hey Lex." he says.

She looks up slightly with a questioning look.

"I wanted to apologize for the other day." he begins.

"Sam, you don't have to. It's okay." she says.

"No. No it's not. Just let me apologize, okay?" he says. He felt horrible about the fight they'd had, mainly because it was entirely on him. And accusing her of liking Dean was just a low blow.

She nods and lets him continue.

"We shouldn't have fought at all. It was stupid and entirely my fault. I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you and I definitely shouldn't have accused you of liking Dean. I know you don't and I shouldn't have said it. I hate fighting with you. And then when I got back to well, living, and Pamela said you were taken I couldn't help but think what if our last real conversation was a fight?" he says.

"Oh Sam." she says, bringing her hand to his cheek. "It's okay, alright? Couples fight. It happens. But we're both here, we're both okay. Don't beat yourself up about it." Alexis adds.

"But it's-" he begins but is cut off by her pressing her lips to his.

She kisses him gently and then says, "No buts. It's okay."

"God I missed you. I was so scared that you weren't going to wake up, that you weren't going to be okay."

"Well I am, or will be in a day or so." she tells him.

"Will be?" he asks, giving her a questioning look.

"I uh, tried to get up earlier and nearly fell flat on my face. Totally would have had Dean not caught me. Guess I used a lot more energy and lost more blood than I thought." she says.

"Yeah, Cas said you'd need rest. You almost died Lex, and had it not been for him, you would have. You would have died in my arms." he says, choking on the last few words.

"The important thing is I didn't, okay? I'm right here." she tells him.

"You had lost so much blood. I never ever want to come that close to losing you again. Not like that." he says, slightly tightening his hold on her.

"I know." she responds, leaning her head further back to rest on his shoulder.

After another few minutes of silence, Sam asks about something that hadn't sat well with him. What she'd said earlier about not caring what the demons would do to her.

"Lex?" he asks, tearing her out of her thoughts.

"Hm?" she responds softly.

"What you said earlier about not caring if the demons killed you, how can you not care? How can you still not care about yourself?" he asks, turning slightly to face her.

"I don't know, I just don't. What I meant though was whatever they do to me would be better than them having either you or Dean. So it's not that I don't care at all about myself, I guess I just don't value my life more than others, especially you two." she says, trying to explain.

"That's kind of dangerous, Lex." he tells her.

"Yeah, whatever." she responds, trying to brush the topic off.

"No, not whatever. You need to care what happens to you, Lex. If you don't, you'll be more reckless. I care about what happens to you, and you care about me, right? So can you try and care more about yourself? If not for you, for me?" he questions.

"I'll try. For you." she responds.

"Good." he says.

She leans back again and says softly, "I love you."

"I know. I love you too." he responds.


	26. New Normal

_A/N: I__'m sorry it's been almost two weeks since an update! I've been busy and I've also been blocked on this. I had no idea how to finish season four, so you'll see what I did with it here. I really skipped a lot of it and jumped straight into the finale and start of season five. This chapter has a lot going on, but I couldn't come up with a way to really split it or anything. Hope you like the direction I took it in._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any direct quotes you see from the show in here, there are quite a few. I do own Alexis.**

**Chapter 26: New Normal**

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

The three of them ended up spending most of the day on the couch watching TV. They were all rather exhausted. Both brothers got up to go to bed around nine already.

"You coming?" Sam asks her when he gets up.

"Not yet." Alexis says. He gives her a questioning look so she adds, "It's only nine. I'll be in soon, okay?"

"Fine. Don't stay up too late, you're supposed to be resting." Sam says.

"I know. Night, Sam." she tells him.

"Night, Lex." Sam says and then walks into the bedroom.

She wasn't really planning on sleeping anytime soon. She was physically tired, but her mind was racing. _Why do demons want me? They said their boss said not to kill me, is that Lilith? Why the hell would Lilith want me alive? And did Pamela die? What happened with the reapers? _Her mind wouldn't shut up, so there was no way she was sleeping anytime soon. She switched the TV to One Tree Hill, a show she'd picked up when she was on bed rest after the roadhouse fire and actually ended up liking. Still not able to sleep, Alexis remains watching TV until nearly midnight. That's when she gets up and goes out on the terrace to just think.

After twenty minutes, she hears the door slide open and turns to see Dean walk out.

"You know you're supposed to be resting." Dean says as he walks over.

"How could I forget with one of you always reminding me?" she responds, looking off the terrace.

"It's almost 12:30, you should be asleep." the older Winchester points out, some worry evident in his voice.

"Can't sleep." Alexis responds.

Dean opens his mouth to say something but she cuts him off, saying, "With everything that has happened these past few days, I'm allowed to not be able to sleep."

"Fair enough. Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

She looks at him oddly and says, "You know, for a guy who says 'no chick flick moments' you sure seem to have them a lot."

"Yeah, yeah, I blame you. But really, you can talk to me about it." Dean responds.

"I know, but maybe I shouldn't." she says.

A confused look crosses Dean's face as he asks, "Why not?"

"Just something Sam said." she responds. What Sam said still bothered her a bit, even though he said he didn't mean it and apologized profusely, she just couldn't let it go.

"What'd he say?" he questions.

"When we fought he may have accused me of liking you." she says.

"He what?" Dean asks, not sure he heard correctly.

"He didn't really mean it, but I guess he had a point. I've been talking to you more than I have him lately it seems. It's not that I like you, that would be gross, you're like my brother, but you've just been easier to talk to." she says.

Dean just shakes his head.

"What?" she asks.

"No wonder he was beating himself up so much. The kid may be a genius, but sometimes he's really really stupid." he says.

"Oh." she says.

"Yeah. And you can still talk to me. Don't let him stop you. But maybe you should talk to him too." he suggests.

"Yeah, I know. It's just that things have been a little weird between us ever since the whole psych ward thing. I don't know what to do." she says.

"It freaked him out, Lex. Hell it freaked me out too, but he still loves you. You two will figure it out." Dean says.

"I don't know Dean. I think uh- I think I am going to leave after all." she says finally.

Suddenly everything just clicked with her. She knew exactly what she was going to do, what she needed to do. It was going to hurt like hell, but she needed to do it.

"Lex…" Dean says.

"It's what's best, Dean. You know it is too. I'll be okay." she says.

"Sleep on it, okay? Maybe you'll feel differently in the morning." Dean says.

"Fine. Night, Dean." she says and walks back inside. She watches Dean go to bed and then ends up sleeping on the couch, knowing that sleeping next to Sam was just going to make what she had to do even harder than it already was going to be.

She wakes up the next morning when she hears the coffee pot go off. When she turns, she sees that Sam is awake, but it doesn't seem like Dean is yet.

"Why'd you sleep out here?" Sam asks her, pouring a cup of coffee.

"Sam, we need to talk." she says, mentally preparing herself for the conversation they were about to have.

At the tone in her voice, Sam looks up and immediately walks over to her, forgetting about the coffee.

He sits down next to her and asks, "What's up?"

"This isn't working, Sam. I think- I think we need a break." she says, trying not to burst into tears then and there. This needed to be done.

"Wha-what?" Sam asks, sounding hurt and confused.

"We haven't been us for a long time, Sam. I realized I've even been talking to Dean more than I have you. We need a break. I'm going to leave, hunt on my own for a while or maybe with Jo. Then in a few months we'll see." she explains, trying to fight off tears. This hurt her probably as much as it hurt Sam, if not more.

"You're breaking up with me." Sam states sadly.

She nods, not able to say the words herself.

"Is it because of the fight? I swear I didn't mean it, I just-" he begins, but she cuts him off by shaking her head.

"No, it's so much more than that. I love you, okay? Don't you ever think I don't. It's just that I don't know if love is enough right now. We need a break, time to figure things out on our own." she says.

"I love you too." he says.

"I know. This isn't goodbye, alright? It's just for now." Alexis tells him.

There were tears in his eyes and she could feel there were some in hers too.

"Be careful." Sam says.

"You too. You'll tell Dean?" she says, standing up.

Sam nods and stands up too. "I wish you wouldn't do this." he says.

She stands on the tips of her toes and presses a kiss to his lips and then says, "I know, I'm sorry. I just have to."

He nods sadly, not wanting her to leave but understanding exactly what she meant.

She grabs her bags from her room and then heads towards the door. "You two can stay here as long as you want. See ya, Sam." she says.

"See ya, Lex." Sam responds, looking near tears.

She walks out the door and a few tears fall. She may have just broken his heart, but she broke hers too.

* * *

She spent the next five months without so much as talking to Sam. She'd spoken to Dean once the day she left but that was it. Really she hadn't spoken to or seen anyone but Jo, Ryan, and Jake. She did one hunt with Jo and a handful with Ryan and Jake, other than that she's been completely on her own. It didn't seem to get easier being apart from the Winchesters either, but she knew it had to be done. It kept them safer and gave Alexis the chance to focus entirely on finding and killing the head demon that was after her, Lilith. She had thrown herself into tracking her down and now she was extremely close. She even had an exact location and was heading there now. Once the bitch was dead, maybe she could go back to the Winchesters. Alexis had just pulled into the chapel in Maryland where Lilith was supposed to be. _This is it. Lilith dies today, no matter what. _

She walks into the chapel, ready to fight. Instead she finds it empty and once inside, someone hits her on the head from behind. Two pairs of arms wrap around her and she feels a knife on her waist, cutting through exactly where her anti-possession tattoo is. Then black smoke encircles her and goes in through her mouth. _Fuck, _she thinks to herself. _Guess this is why Lilith wanted me. _

"Nice to see you again, Alexis. This is going to be fun." the demon says aloud.

_You bitch_, she thinks to herself, knowing Lilith could hear her.

Sometime later, all the demons in the hallway fall and Sam and Ruby walk in. She could instantly tell Sam had gone back to demon blood and had been consuming much more than he had been the first time. _This is bad, this is so so bad._

"Lex?" Sam asks, looking entirely surprised.

"Guess again." Lilith says.

"Lilith." Sam says, pure venom in his words.

"Nice to see you too Sam." Lilith says.

"Get out of her. Now." he demands.

Ruby was standing back, looking not so surprised, like she knew this would happen. It was then that everything clicked for Alexis. Ruby wanted this all along, so did Lilith. Lilith wants to die because it's what will release Lucifer. The angels want it too. Lucifer was going to walk and it was going to be because of Sam. There was nothing she could do about it.

"You know, your girlfriend here is a smart one. I like her." Lilith says, telling Alexis she was right.

"Get. Out." Sam says even louder.

"What? Not going to try and kill me because I'm in her? I thought you were stronger than that. She seems to be." Lilith says.

That's when Alexis finally gain's control.

"Sam." she says.

"Lex?" he asks.

"It's me. You have to do it, Sam. Kill her, now. Please." Alexis pleads, knowing it was the only way.

"But Lex…" he trails off.

"Sam, you have to. Just do it." she says.

He brings his hand up and Alexis feels herself fly backwards and hits her head hard. That's when she spots Dean out of the corner of her eye, but Ruby looks back and shuts the door on him. Sam has her, well Lilith too, pinned down. He was definitely much stronger. He begins and Alexis feels like her insides are being torn apart, there was no way she was surviving this. Sam stops abruptly and Dean's screams of "Sam!" can be heard through the door. Ruby is shouting at Sam to finish and Lilith begins laughing.

"You turned yourself into a freak, a monster, and now you're not going to bite. I'm sorry but that is honestly adorable." Lilith says.

Sam continues and his eyes flash black, demon black.

_Fuck. _

Sam kills Lilith and then everything goes black.

**-Sam-centric POV- **

"Lex!" he shouts, but before he gets close enough to her he sees blood moving in an odd pattern.

"What the hell?" he says aloud.

Ruby explains that he just released Lucifer. He just released the damn devil himself. Pure anger runs through his veins and Sam is seeing red. Lilith was the last seal. He tries to kill Ruby but finds he can't.

"It had to be you, Sammy, it always had to be you." is really all he hears of Ruby's speech after that.

He couldn't focus on anything. He'd just set the devil free and he'd just more than likely killed Alexis. He was alone and just wanted to die. That's when Dean bursts in and heads straight for Ruby.

"You're too late." Ruby says, standing up to face him.

"I don't care." he responds.

Sam grabs Ruby's shoulders and Dean plunges the knife into her stomach, killing her instantly.

Dean looks him in the eye with a look Sam would never forget. All he can say is, "I'm sorry."

Dean looks beside him and spots Alexis for the first time. "Is that- is that Lex?" Dean asks, caught off guard.

Neither of them had expected to see Alexis there after five months without a single word from her. The ground begins to shake and Dean runs to grab her. Once he does, the brothers run for the door. They can't seem to get out and a blinding light emits from the center of the room. Suddenly all three of them are on a plane.

"What the hell?" Dean says.

"I don't know." Sam says.

"Is she okay?" an attendant asks, pointing to Alexis, who was in Dean's lap.

"Yeah, she just took one too many sleeping pills, she's a nervous flyer." Dean says, pulling something out of thin air.

The attendant nods and continues on.

"Dean?" Sam asks, conveying everything in one word.

Dean brings two fingers to Alexis' neck and looks at Sam with a heart broken look.

_No. NO. _

Dean shakes his head and a tear falls from his eye. She was dead and it was all Sam's fault. If he'd listened to her, not gone back on the demon blood, she'd be okay because he couldn't have killed Lilith, at least not alone he couldn't have. Tears were falling down both brothers' cheeks when an announcement was made saying they were just passing over the city they'd just been in. That's when the same blinding light appears and the plane begins to fall.

Sam doesn't really remember much, but they manage to get to a car. As soon as they do, Dean lays Alexis down in the back and the two brothers sit in front in a solemn silence. After an hour of silence, they hear a gasp in the back and watch in the rear view mirror as Alexis sits up.

"Lex?" both of them question.

"What the hell just happened?" she asks as she looks around, clearly confused.

"We're uh, we're not really sure." Dean says, pulling over.

When he does, he gets out and opens the door nearest to Alexis. "Get out." Dean says.

"What?" she asks.

Sam was lost, what was Dean doing?

"You just died, Lex. Get out and let me see if you're okay." Dean says.

_Oh, that's what he's doing._

She nods and slides out the door.

Sam gets out as well and walks over to where they were standing, underneath a streetlight. Dean checks her pulse and then moves to check the spot on her head that had been hit really hard.

"It's gone." Dean states.

"What's gone?" she asks, trying to move out from underneath his grip.

"There was a dent in your head, literally. It's gone." Dean says.

"Oh." is all she says back.

Dean then pulls her into a hug saying, "Never leave like that again."

"I'm sorry." she responds, hugging him back.

Dean pulls back and tells her, "Five months Lex, five months and not one word from you. We had to call Jo just to make sure you were alive and that demons hadn't gotten you. We tried Bobby and Ellen but neither of them had even heard from you either."

_I guess I didn't really notice exactly how worried Dean was about her too._

"I'm sorry." she repeats.

"Just never again, okay?" Dean says.

She nods and then Dean looks between Sam and Alexis and gets in the car, leaving them to talk.

"Lex, I'm sorry." Sam begins. He wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't seen her or even spoken to her in five months, she looked different, not exactly in a good way. She looked smaller and more tired. Like she hadn't been eating or sleeping well at all since the last time he'd seen her. And then when he does see finally her, he has to kill her.

"Sam, it's not your fault. You had to. We were all set up. Ruby had this plan all along, so did Lilith, the angels too. You couldn't have known, Sam. None of us could have." she says, moving closer to him.

"But I- I killed you." Sam says.

"It's okay. I told you to, you had to. Lilith would've killed me if you hadn't. That's why she wanted me, Sam. All along, that's why demons all wanted me. So she could do what she did. But the important thing is, we're all okay. Somehow, by what I think was actually an act of God, we're all alive. We may have just released the devil, but what comes out can go back in, right? Or be killed?" Alexis says, trying to calm him down.

Oddly enough, it was working. _How can she still do that? After five months, all it takes is a few words from her to make me feel better. _

"I guess." he says.

"Look Sam, I don't know what's happened with you and Dean for the past five months, but I think it's been a long enough break. My plan was kinda to kill Lilith and then come find you guys anyway, so if uh, you haven't moved on, do you think we could um, try again? I know I hurt you, so I get it if you don't want to." she says, averting her eyes.

"You want to?" he asks, somewhat surprised. She was the one who broke up with him after all.

She nods, still looking at the ground.

"Lex, I could never move on from you. You leaving destroyed me, it did. What I did because of that, I'm not proud of. You make me a better person. I know that may sound stupid or cliché, but you do, Lex. I love you, so much, and I always will. I just wasn't sure you still loved me. You didn't even call." he says.

She'd finally looked up at him at the last part. "Of course I still love you. And I know, I'm sorry. Me leaving kinda destroyed me too. I didn't sleep for a week and a half. I just hunted and tracked down Lilith. I guess I really just stopped living and went after Lilith, who was ultimately the reason I left. She wanted me, I didn't know why, and until I killed her, I couldn't let myself come back and I couldn't bring myself to call either of you, I'm sorry. I never ever wanted to hurt you like that, Sam. Ever." she says, bringing her hand to his cheek.

He leans into her touch and brings his hand to hers. "I know. Well, Lilith is dead now." Sam says.

"She is." she responds.

"If we do this again, I need you to promise me something." he tells her.

"What?" Alexis asks.

"I need you to talk to me, about everything. If you feel like you need to leave for some reason, you need to talk to me about it. And I mean actually talk, not just tell me once you've already made up your mind. I don't think I can survive you leaving me like that again." he says. Part of him hated that she had that much power over him, but he had a feeling he had the same amount over her.

"I promise. But you have to talk to me too, okay? Those last two months our communication kind of stopped, and that's part of what got me to decide to leave." she explains.

"I promise, too." Sam says.

Alexis nods and Sam leans down and kisses her. She stands up on the tips of her toes and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him as close to her as possible. When he pulls away she leans into him, resting her head on his chest. He wraps his arms around her, picking up on the fact that she did feel smaller. She definitely hadn't been taking care of herself.

"God I missed you." Alexis says.

"You have no idea." Sam responds.

The two stand like that for a minute before getting back in the car.

Once they do, Dean says, "Alright, I know we have a lot of shit to talk about but Lex, you look like you haven't really slept in a long time. We have a decent drive ahead of us, you should get some sleep."

"But-" she begins but Sam cuts her off, "Dean's right Lex, I mean when's the last time you got more than six hours of sleep?"

"Uh, I dunno." she responds.

They both give her a look, waiting for her to say more.

"Maybe two months ago?" she says.

"Get some sleep then." Dean says.

"Fine. I'll try, but I have no pillow or even a jacket to use." Alexis says.

Sam gets out and slides in next to her. "Sleep." he says.

She looks at him hesitantly but then lays down, resting her head in his lap. Things were definitely going to take some time to get back to normal.

Once Alexis is asleep, the two brothers sit in silence for about two hours until Dean turns the radio on. Unfortunately, all that comes up is stories about apocalypse related things, so Dean turns it off.

"Dean, look-" Sam begins, not really sure what to say.

"Don't say anything." Dean responds, cutting him off. "It's okay. We just gotta keep our heads down and hash this out, alright?"

"Yeah, okay." Sam replies.

"Alright well first things first, how did we end up on that plane and how did Alexis just come back to life? I mean how was she even there? What happened?" Dean asks.

"Angels maybe? Lex said maybe act of God? Who knows. And I don't know how Lex got there, but when I got there, Lilith was in her- crap." Sam says, just now thinking of something.

"What?" Dean asks, glancing back at them.

"Lilith was in her, Dean. She has an anti-possession tattoo." Sam says.

"Oh. Crap." Dean says, now also realizing what Sam was.

He glances down at the sleeping girl in his lap and gently lifts up her shirt enough so that he could see where the tattoo was. It had been sliced through with what looked like a knife. There were also three scars on her hip that looked almost perfect, like they'd been put there on purpose. He definitely had to ask her about those. He wasn't 100% sure she wouldn't hurt herself, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"It was cut through." Sam states.

"Ouch." Dean responds.

"Well, anyway, what happened in there Sammy?" his older brother adds.

"Well Lilith was in her. I didn't want to do it but Lex got control and told me to, she said I had to. And really I guess I did, there was no way Lilith was going to let me not kill her. She'd kill Lex, you, anyone just to be sure I'd kill her and set Lucifer free." Sam says.

"Oh. Well, next thing, we need to find Cas. So to Chuck's." Dean says.

That's when Lex sits up and asks, "Who's Chuck?"

When she sees the looks on both brothers' faces she adds, "Don't try to make me go back to sleep. Now who's Chuck?"

Dean reluctantly explains most of how they knew Chuck and who he was.

Once he's finished, Alexis just gapes at them both. "So he's a prophet who writes books about you two? Am I in them?" she says.

"In great detail." Dean says, shuttering slightly. "I mean really, I did not need to read about you two you know, doing it."

"Dean!" Sam exclaims.

"Seriously?!" Alexis says.

"Afraid so." Sam responds.

"I'm not liking this Chuck guy so far. Does he see/write about me when I'm not with you two?" she asks.

"He wouldn't really say. It was a little weird actually, we asked if he knew where you were or if you were okay but he wouldn't say a word. So you'd have to ask him." Dean says.

"Oh I will." she replies.

"Well, we'll be there in a couple hours." Dean says.

They spend the rest of the ride talking about the past few months. They told Alexis about Adam, everything with the demon blood, Cas and Jimmy, really not leaving out much.

"So what'd you do for five months, Lex?" Dean asks once they finish.

"Um, not much really. Just hunted and tracked Lilith." she responds.

"Nothing else?" his brother asks.

"Not really." she says.

She sounded like she was hiding something, but now was not the time to push her on it. He made a note to ask her later on though, when things had settled down a bit.

"Alright, well we're almost there."

* * *

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

They show up at Chuck's house and find it completely destroyed. Chuck attacks, hitting Sam with a plunger. There wasn't much to the guy really. He was pretty tiny.

"Geeze, ow." Sam says, stumbling backwards.

"Sam, Dean." Chuck says and when he spots Alexis his eyes widen. "You- you're Alexis." the prophet says.

"That's me." she responds.

"So you two, you're okay?" Chuck asks, looking between Alexis and Sam.

"Well my head hurts." Sam says.

"No I mean my last vision, you went like full on Vader and killed Lilith, also killing Alexis. Your body temperature was 150, your heart rate was 200. Your eyes were black." Chuck says.

"Your eyes went black?" Dean questions.

Sam looks to Alexis, not sure what to say. "They did." she responds sadly.

"Where's Cas?" Dean asks next.

"He's dead, or gone. The archangel smote the crap out of him. I'm sorry. He like exploded." the prophet explains.

Sam points out something in Chuck's hair, which is actually a tooth.

"Oh crap." Chuck says.

"What?" Dean asks.

"I can feel them."

That's when a voice comes from directly behind Alexis.

"Thought we'd find you here. Oh Alexis too, nice to see you again." the voice says.

She whirls around and is face to face with Zachariah, possibly the only angel she hated more than Uriel.

She steps backwards, running right into Sam, who puts a hand on her shoulder and keeps her close to him.

"Play time's over, Dean. Time to come with us." the angel says.

"You keep your distance, asshat." Dean tells him when he moves forward.

Zachariah and Dean argue for a few minutes before Zac says something about striking before Lucifer finds his vessel.

"His vessel? Lucifer needs a meat suit?" Sam questions.

"He is an angel. And when he touches down we're talking four horsemen, red oceans, fiery skies, the greatest hits. You can stop him, Dean, but you need our help." the angel says.

"You listen to me, you two faced douche, after what you did, I don't want jack squat from you." Dean says.

The two argue a bit more until Dean banishes them using a sigil he'd drawn in blood.

"Learned that from my friend Cas you son of a bitch." Dean says once they're gone.

"This sucks ass." Chuck says.

When they decide to leave, Alexis asks to speak with Chuck for a minute. Both brothers leave, saying they'd wait in the car.

"It's really great to actually meet you, Alexis." Chuck says.

"Call me Lex, please." she says. "I wasn't supposed to come back, was I?"

"From what I saw, you were dead. I have no idea why or how you're here right now." the prophet explains.

"Great. The boys said you write about their lives in books, how much do you know about me? Have you seen things that don't involve them?" she asks, wanting to know what exactly he knew about her, specifically what he knew that the boys did not.

"Some, mostly things that are important to well, your character, like Kyle, Matt, your dad, and Zac. You should tell them you saw Kyle again, Alexis. You could be in danger." Chuck says.

Alexis' eyes widen slightly and she says, "They don't need to know about that."

"It landed you in the hospital, Alexis. They do need to know. What I saw in Kyle's eyes tells me he'll find you again, and you may not be so lucky this time." the prophet explains, truly sounding like he cared.

"You didn't- you wouldn't write about that, would you?" she says.

"No. All I wrote about Kyle is what you told Sam. Nothing else, and I won't as long as you tell them." Chuck says.

Alexis could feel herself shaking slightly so she just nods and walks out.

"Everything okay?" Sam asks when he sees Alexis walk out.

"Yeah, uh, let's just get going." she responds.

"What happened?" Dean asks.

"Nothing." Alexis replies.

"Doesn't look like nothing." Dean says.

"He just brought up a bad memory, okay? Nothing else. Let's go." she says, getting in the car.

"I uh, forgot to ask Chuck something, I'll be right back." Dean announces and walks back inside.

Sam gets in the car and both of them wait for Dean.

"This is weird, right? It's not just me?" Alexis says.

"No, it's not just you. This is weird. All of this. You've been gone five months, I just set Lucifer free, and now the angels are on our asses." Sam responds.

"Well, we'll figure it out, right?" she says, sounding unsure of herself.

"Yeah. Alright I wasn't going to say anything, because we're kinda in a weird place right now, but what happened to you, Lex? You're different, there's something you're hiding. I just can't figure out what it is." he says.

Before she could figure out what to say, Dean comes storming out of the house, looking pissed. _Chuck must have told him, dammit. _

"Why the hell didn't you call us?" Dean demands as soon as he's in the car.

"What?" she asks.

"Don't give me that. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Dean says, vividly angry.

She knew it wasn't that he was angry at her, it was that he was angry at Kyle.

"Well I don't." Sam says.

"She saw Kyle again." Dean says through a clenched jaw.

Anger flashes across Sam's face as he asks, "What?"

"I was in Michigan for a hunt two months ago and may have ran into him. I'm fine, it's nothing." she says, trying to brush it off. She did not want to talk about Kyle, not now.

"It's not nothing if it landed you in the hospital." Dean says, venom in his words.

"Hospital? Why wouldn't you call us?" Sam asks, both hurt and angry.

"I couldn't, I just couldn't. Can we please not talk about this now? Please?" she asks, giving them her best puppy dog face.

"Fine, but you're explaining more later." Dean says, turning back and starting the car.

The car ride to the motel they end up stopping at it is completely silent. When they get there, Sam goes out, leaving Alexis alone with Dean really for the first time in months.

"What happened, Lex?" Dean asks.

"What do you mean?" she responds.

"Everything. The last time I saw you you said you were thinking about leaving but you told me you'd sleep on it, and then when I wake up you're gone and Sam, well he just looked broken. Now five months later, five months in which you didn't call once, you show up and get possessed by Lilith. You look like you haven't taken care of yourself much whatsoever, and now Chuck says you saw Kyle and you could be in danger. So what happened?" Dean asks, sitting down across from her.

"I needed to leave, Dean. And Sam and I, we needed a break. It killed me just as much as it did him if not more. I needed to end this thing with Lilith, she was the one who wanted me and made me feel like I needed to leave anyway. So I figured if I could kill her, I could come back. But when I finally found her, she got the jump on me and well you know the rest from there. As for Kyle, I can't talk about that right now, Dean. I just can't, please don't keep asking me. And I guess you're right, I really haven't taken care of myself. I was completely alone, mostly thanks to me anyway, and I just don't care enough about myself to put me above everything or else. I slept occasionally, ate what I could at random times, I was in the hospital for about a week after Kyle, so I lost weight there too and I guess it just snowballed after that. But Lilith is dead now and we have much more important things to focus on than me." Alexis explains.

"You are important, and it's important to both Sammy and I that you're okay. You should have called us, and you need to start taking better care of yourself." Dean says, looking at her with concerned eyes.

"I know, I know. I guess when I get so focused on something, everything else takes a back burner, including myself. I usually don't even realize it unless someone points it out to me." she continues.

"Well Lilith is dead so that doesn't need your focus anymore. You're back with us for good, right?" Dean questions.

When she doesn't respond, he says, "Lex?"

"I can't promise that." she tells him sadly.

"You leaving destroyed Sam. I've never seen him like that, not even after Jessica died. You can't do that to him again, Lex. Don't pull him back in if you think you're just going to leave again." he says.

"I don't want to leave, Dean. I'd stay with you two forever if I could, but I just don't know what's going to happen so I can't promise I won't leave. I try not to make promises that I'm not sure I can keep." Alexis says.

"Fair enough." Dean says.

A bit later Sam returns with hex bags for them all. Dean asks Sam about the demon blood and Sam says he's fine. Sam then tries to apologize but Dean won't listen. Alexis was kind of just sitting there, feeling even more awkward than she usually does when things like this happen with them. Dean then says to treat it like any other hunt. Sometime later, there's a knock on the door. The three hunters look between one another and Sam goes to open the door as Dean loads a gun. Who is on the other side of the door is not what any of them were expecting. It was a blonde girl who seemed to be infatuated with Sam.

"Sam, is it really you?" she says. She brings a hand to his chest and says, "And you're so firm."

Alexis kind of found the whole thing funny, especially the look on Sam's face.

"Uh, do I know you?" Sam asks, clearly lost and rather caught of guard.

"No, but I know you. You're Sam Winchester, and you're... not what I pictured." she says, talking about Dean.

Then she turns to see Alexis and says, "And you're still around?" The girl looked both disgusted and irritated.

"And who the hell are you?" Alexis asks.

"I'm Becky." she says and then walks in. "I've read all about you guys. Anyway, Mr. Edlund told me where you were."

"Chuck?" Dean asks, standing up.

Becky explains that angels are watching Chuck so he sent her with a message for them. "He had a vision. The Michael sword is on Earth. The angels lost it." Becky says, like she was reciting lines from a play.

"The Michael sword?" both Dean and Alexis question.

"Becky, does he know where it is?" Sam asks.

"In a castle on a hill of forty-two dogs." she says.

_Because that makes total sense._

"Are you sure you got that right?" Sam questions.

"It doesn't make sense, but that's what he said. I memorized every word. For you." the blonde says, touching Sam again.

Sam looked so uncomfortable Alexis found it hard not to laugh.

"Uh Becky, uh, can you quit touching me?" Sam says only to have her respond, "No."

After she leaves, Dean laughs and Alexis asks, "Okay, why the hell did she look at me like I was the spawn of Satan? I mean what'd I ever do to her? Do the books make me look that bad?"

"No they don't. I'm guessing she was just jealous. She's Sammy's super fan and you happen to be Sam's girlfriend through like half of the books." Dean says.

"I think I need to read about these books." Alexis states and then pulls out her laptop.

"You might not want to do that." Sam says.

She ignores him and pulls up a search for the books by Carver Edlund.

After reading for a few minutes she says, "What's shipping?"

"It means they want the two people to be together." Dean explains, sitting down next to her. Sam does the same on the other side and then they were all reading the website she was on.

"Seriously? There are people who want Dean and I together? Delexis? Gross." she says, sticking out her tongue.

"I know." Dean responds, looking equally grossed out.

She clicks the page created for her and scrolls down to the comments.

"You might not want to read those. Some are pretty harsh." Sam says.

She waves him off and keeps reading. After reading a few, one that basically said she was a useless character, she says, "Yeah, you're right. Anyways we've got better things to focus on."

* * *

They spend the next few hours doing what research they can while waiting for Bobby to arrive. Eventually there's a knock at the door and Bobby walks in.

Bobby hugs the boys and says, "It's good to see you boys in one piece."

Then he turns to Alexis and says, "And it's good to see you in general. Would it kill you to pick up a phone once in a while?"

"Sorry, Bobby." she says and then hugs the older hunter.

"You weren't followed were you?" Dean asks.

"You mean by demons, angels, or Sam's new super fan?" Bobby asks.

Sam laughs and says, "You heard."

"I heard, Romeo." Bobby responds. "So, sword of Michael, huh?"

Bobby pulls out some books and tells them a bit about Michael, he says the sword can deal with Lucifer.

They decide to all start reading but Sam, being Sam, has to say something. He explains what happened, despite protests from Dean, and the reaction from Bobby actually surprised Alexis.

"You're damn right you didn't listen. You were reckless and selfish and arrogant." Bobby begins.

"I'm sorry." Sam says.

"Oh yeah? You're sorry you started Armageddon? This kinda thing don't get forgiven, boy. If by some miracle we pull this off, I want you to lose my number. You understand me?" the older hunter says.

Sam looked like a kicked puppy and really all Alexis wanted to do was hug him and tell him it was okay.

Sam nods and says, "There's an old church nearby, maybe I'll go read some of the lore books there."

"Yeah, you do that." Bobby says.

Sam walks out and Alexis goes to follow him a minute later, giving Bobby a hard look on her way out.

"Sam, wait!" she shouts after him.

He turns to face her and says, "You don't have to follow me, Bobby's right."

"No, Bobby is not right. This isn't all on you Sam, it's not. You were set up, you couldn't have possibly known. None of us did." she says.

"I missed you." Sam says randomly.

"I know, I missed you too. Now what do you say we go find that church and do some reading?" Alexis says.

Sam nods and Alexis slides her hand in his. The two then walk hand in hand to the church.

After a couple hours of reading, Sam speaks up. "Lex?" he asks.

"Yeah?" she responds, looking up from her book.

"What happened with Kyle?" he asks.

"Sam…" she trails off.

"Please?" he pleads, giving her his famous puppy dog eyes.

She sighs and gets up from the pew behind him. Alexis then sits down next to him and begins to explain. "It was after a hunt in Michigan and I'd gone to a bar. He must have seen me because when I was leaving, he was waiting in my car. I didn't even see him until I'd gotten in. He told me he just wanted to talk to me. I said I didn't want to talk and he should get out. That's uh, that's when he pulled a knife, giving me no choice. So I drove to his house, which I still knew how to get to. It was stupid, I know that, but I couldn't figure out what to do. I was alone, I'd done the job alone, no one even knew I was in Michigan." Alexis starts.

Sam's face was a shade of red and his jaw was clenched, along with his fists.

"Well when we got into his place, he told me he was going to 'show me that I was his and no one else's.' Before I could move, he had me pinned to the wall, the knife at my neck. He outweighed me by a ton, Sam. He's only like an inch shorter than you and just as heavy. I was outmatched. He uh, got my shirt off and began tracing the knife in places. Even gave me three nice scars on my hip. When he set the knife down to try and get my pants off, I fought back. He wasn't expecting it because I hadn't before. That's when he got really mad. I've never seen him like that, never. Before I never thought he'd actually kill me, but this time- the look in his eye, it scared me. I actually feared for my life. He lunged for me, throwing me back into a mirror, which shattered around me and some pieces cut into me. He landed some punches, managed to dislocate my shoulder too, before I was able to pull the gun I had on me. I shot him, I think it only grazed his arm though, but it stunned him enough that I was able to get out. I ran as fast as I could and called 911." she says, pausing again.

Sam looked like he could actually burst from anger.

"I was in the hospital for a few days, they wouldn't let me leave alone until they were sure I was going to be okay. The police couldn't find Kyle. So who knows where he is. That's why Chuck said I could be in danger." Alexis finishes.

"Jesus, Lex. Why the hell wouldn't you have called one of us?" Sam says.

She could practically feel the anger radiating off of him. "I couldn't. I didn't want you to see me like that and I knew if I picked up a phone and called either you or Dean, you'd drop whatever you were doing and come get me. And I knew if you did that, you wouldn't let me leave and stay on my own. I still needed to be on my own, to find Lilith. So I didn't call." she says.

Sam pulls her into a hug and says, "You should have. I swear to God if I ever see this guy, he's dead."

"I know." she responds.

"These past five months have been awful for me, Lex. Not seeing you, not being able to talk to you. Not knowing if you were even alive at the end of the day. I never ever want that to happen again. I need you in my life, Alexis. I don't need much, but I do need you. I don't care how this makes me sound, but it's like you're a part of me. And when we're apart, I feel like something is missing. Please say you won't leave again, not without at least talking it through with me first." he says.

"They've been torture for me too, Sam. I didn't realize how much I needed you until we were apart. I need you too, I do. And I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, okay?" she says.

"Good." he tells her. He then adds, "And Lex? What you said earlier about it being weird, it is, even between us right now, but we'll get back to normal, or a new normal, we just have to figure out what that's going to be."

"I know." she responds. "Well, we should probably head back."

"Maybe you should just go back." Sam says.

"Come on Sam, Bobby was wrong, okay? And honestly, if he meant what he said, I'm going to lose his number too." she tells him.

Sam nods and then stands up. The two walk back out of the church and head back to the motel.

When they get just outside the door, fighting can be heard.

"What the hell?" Alexis asks just as Sam busts the door open.

Sam's immediately hit with something and thrown back and Alexis is knocked backwards and down the stairs in the hallway, successfully knocking her out.

The next thing she knows, someone is shaking her and shouting her name, "Lex!"

She cracks her eyes open and sees a very worried and somewhat bloody Sam.

"I'm okay." she says, slowly sitting up.

It was then that she realized they were now in the Impala and not at the motel anymore. "Where are we?" she asks, looking around.

"Heading to find the sword." Dean says over his shoulder. He then asks, "How is she?"

"Bruised and probably a concussion, but she should be okay." Sam says.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where's Bobby?" Alexis asks.

"Hospital. We're heading back right after we get the sword. He was possessed and managed to take control and stab himself with the demon knife." Dean explains.

"Oh." is all she says.

She then rests her head on Sam and closes her eyes, knowing she'd be woken up shortly anyways.

When they get there, Sam says, "Maybe you should stay in the car."

"You're kidding, right? Leaving me here alone could potentially be worse than me going up. I'm coming." she responds.

Sam shakes his head and the three grab weapons before heading into the storage unit where the sword supposedly was. Inside they find a few bodies, demons probably, and then they find Zachariah and two other angels. _Why the hell does he keep popping up?_

"I see you told the demons where the sword is." he says.

"Oh thank God the angels are here." Dean says, every word dripping with sarcasm.

"Just think, they could've grabbed it anytime they wanted." Zachariah says, shutting the door to the unit.

"It was right in front of them." the angel continues.

All three hunters were confused, what did he mean?

"What do you mean?" Sam asks.

"We may have planted that particular piece of prophecy inside Chuck's skull but it happened to be true, we did lose the Michael sword. We truly couldn't find it. Until now, you just hand delivered it to us." Zachariah says.

"We don't have anything." Dean says.

"It's you, chucklehead. You're the Michael sword." the angel explains, stepping closer to Dean.

_What? How can Dean be the Michael sword? _

At the look on their faces, Zach continues. _Damn does that man like the sound of his own voice. _"What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer? You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No. You're just a human, Dean. Not much of one."

_I haven't killed an angel before, but hey there's a first for everything. If only I had my damn angel blade. _

"What do you mean I'm the sword?" Dean asks.

Zac explains that Dean is basically Michael's vessel, that he's chosen.

_Wait, if Dean is chosen as Michael's vessel, and Lucifer has one too, and Lucifer is Michael's brother, does that mean Sam could be Lucifer's vessel?_ She tries to shake the thought from her head, she couldn't think about that possibility right now.

"Life as an angel condom, real fun. I think I'll pass." Dean says.

"No more jokes." Zachariah says and then lifts his hand, making a gun with his fingers, and shoots at Sam, causing him to fall to the ground.

"Sam!" Alexis exclaims.

"You son of a bitch." Dean says.

"Keep mouthing off I'll break more than his legs. Hers too. Actually, you shouldn't even be here, Alexis. Maybe I'll just fix that." Zac snaps his fingers and she disappears.

_Where the hell am I? _she wonders as she looks around. Zachariah hadn't killed her, but he did zap her somewhere.

"Gabriel!" she shouts, not sure of what else to do.

A minute later there's a flutter of wings. "What the hell are you doing in Iceland?" the angel says.

"I'm in Iceland?!" she exclaims.

"Uh, yes." Gabe says.

"I swear to God I'm going to kill Zachariah." she says, voice riddled with anger. "Can you get me out of here? Take me to Bobby?"

"Zachariah did this to you? I always hated that guy. Are you okay?" the archangel asks.

"Actually, I have a concussion. But while you're here, I kind of got possessed by a demon the other day, meaning my anti-possession tattoo was cut through, could you fix that?" Alexis asks him nicely.

"Let me see it." Gabriel says.

She lifts up her shirt and the angel brings his hand to it, instantly healing it. Then he brings his hand to her forehead and heals her concussion.

"There, all better. Now you want me to take you to Bobby?" he asks.

"Yes please." she says.

"What do I get out of it?" Gabe asks.

"Um, my gratitude? A kiss on the check? A hug? Not that you really seem like a hugger." Alexis says.

"I'll take all of the above." he responds.

She smiles and moves closer to Gabe. She wraps her arms around him and then places a kiss on his cheek.

"Well, to Bobby then." Gabe says and zaps them to the hospital, just outside of Bobby's room.

"Thanks, Gabe." she says.

"No problem, but I take it you're not counting that as the favor I owe you?" the angel asks.

"Nope. I'm waiting for a life or death situation for that one." she says.

"In that case, I hope you don't cash in soon." he says and then zaps out.

Alexis turns back to the window of Bobby's room and finds him asleep, so she just walks in and curls up on a chair near his bed.

Some time later, Sam and Dean walk in.

"Lex! You're okay." Sam says, immediately walking over to her, relief all over his face.

"I'm okay. Are you two?" she asks as Sam hugs her.

"Yeah. How did you get here?" Dean asks.

"Well Zachariah kinda blasted me to Iceland, so I called Gabriel and he brought me back here. How did you two get out of there?" Alexis says.

"Castiel." Sam says.

"Cas? He's alive?" she asks.

"He is." Dean says.

Alexis breathes out a sigh of relief and then sits back down.

Later on, a doctor comes in and tells Bobby he's unlikely to walk again. That did not sit well with him.

Then Sam speaks up. "So let me ask the million dollar question, what do we do now?"

"Well, we save as many as we can for as long as we can I guess. It's bad. Whoever wins, Heaven or Hell, we're boned." Bobby says.

"What if we win?" Dean asks.

At the look Bobby gives him, the older Winchester continues, "I'm serious. Screw the angels and the demons and their crap apocalypse. Now they want to fight a war, they can find their own planet. This one's ours and I say they get the hell off it. We take em' all on, we kill the devil, hell we even kill Michael if we have to, but we do it our own damn selves." "And how are we supposed to do that?" Alexis asks. "I got no idea. But what I do have is a GED and a give em' hell attitude and I'll figure it out." Dean says.

"You're nine kinds of crazy, boy." Bobby says.

Dean nods and says, "It's been said. Listen, you stay on the mend, we'll see you in a bit."

Dean walks out and Sam and Alexis were right behind him but Bobby stops them by saying, "Sam."

Both turn to look at him and Bobby continues. He says he was awake and knew what he said back there, but it was the demon, not him. Both brothers then walk out and Bobby stops Alexis this time.

"Lex?" he says.

She turns and says, "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" the older hunter asks.

"Me? You're the one in a hospital bed." she says.

"You're the one who practically disappeared for five months, got possessed by Lilith, and then killed." Bobby replies.

"I'm fine, Bobby." Alexis says.

"You don't look fine." the older hunter tells her.

"Well I'm doing my best. I'm sorry I disappeared for that long though." she says.

"Just be careful, Alexis. And call your mother, would you? She worries about you a lot more than you'd know." Bobby says.

"Okay, I will. Get some rest, Bobby." she says and then walks out, jogging down the hallway to catch up with the boys.

As they're walking out, Sam says, "You know, I was thinking maybe we could go after the Colt."

"Why? What difference would that make?" Dean says.

"We could use it on Lucifer. I mean you just said back there-" Sam says but Dean cuts him off.

"I just said a bunch of crap for Bobby's benefit. I mean, I'll fight, I'll fight to the last man, but let's at least be honest. We don't stand a snowball's chance and you know that. I mean hell, you of all people know that."

Dean walks past them to get into the car but Sam stops him, saying, "Dean? Is there something you want to say to me?"

Dean pauses before saying, "I tried, Sammy. I mean I really tried, but I just can't keep pretending that everything's all right. Because it's not, and it's never going to be. You chose a demon over your own brother and look what happened. You killed Lex, Sam!"

She hated this, absolutely hated it. Having the two of them fight was awful.

"I would give anything, anything, to take it all back." Sam says.

"I know you would and I know how sorry you are, I do, but man, you were the one that I depended on the most and you let me down in ways that I can't even… I'm just, I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here, ya know?" Dean tells him.

"What can I do?" Sam asks.

"Honestly? Nothing. I just don't- I don't think that we can ever be what we were, ya know? I just don't think I can trust you." Dean finishes and then walks towards the car.

Alexis kind of just stood there feeling awkward. She knew Dean had a point but she also knew this whole thing wasn't Sam's fault. Honestly, it could be completely put on Dean simply because he broke the first seal, he made a demon deal in the first place. She decided she wouldn't say a word. Everything was different between all three of them now and she'd just been gone for five months. _Guess we just have to figure out a new normal now,_ she thinks to herself as she trails behind Sam, heading to what was sure to be a car ride filled with tense silence.

* * *

_A/N: Crazy chapter, I know, but I do hope you like the chapter. I felt taking Alexis out of the rest of season four as the only way I was ever going to get more writing done. I love season five, it's my favorite season, so I don't think I'll be skipping anywhere near as much. Anyway, that__'s enough talking from me. Let me know what you think in a review? Also, if you want to read more of my writing and see new stuff more frequently, check out my tumblr. Search __doomedbrothers and you'll find me (:_


	27. War

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Lex.**

* * *

**Chapter 27: War**

Alexis was just walking back to Bobby's room as Dean got there, coming from the other way. Bobby'd been sitting in his chair silent for the past three days.

"What's that?" Alexis asks, pointing to the X-ray in Dean's hand.

"I went down to radiology, got some glamor shots." Dean explains, holding up the X-ray. "Let's just say the doctors are baffled."

"Who did that to you?" she asks.

"Castiel. Said it would hide us from angels. We should probably get him to do the same to you." Dean says.

"Nope. I'm good." she says.

"If you're not hidden, they can find you and us." Dean says.

"No, I mean I'm good as in I have them." Alexis says.

"How?" Dean questions.

"Remember how Cas couldn't find me when those demons took me? He said I was hidden? That's because Gabe carved whatever those are into my ribs a while ago." she explains.

"You know, you always talk about what Gabriel does for you, but we've never seen him as anything other than the Trickster." Dean states.

"Guess he just likes me better." she says with a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah." Dean says.

Then Sam's phone rings, Cas was calling him. _Why is Cas using a cell phone? _Sam tells him where they are and the angel shows up soon after. He explains that since they are all hidden now, he can't simply find them. Bobby finally speaks up and calls for Castiel to heal him, but the angel says he cannot, he's cut off from Heaven, and there are only certain things he can do. Cas then tells them their plan to kill Lucifer is foolish, it can't be done, and that he is going to find God, because he could stop the apocalypse, but he needs something, an amulet that burns hot in God's presence. The amulet ended up being the necklace Dean always wears.

After Dean reluctantly gives it up, Cas asks, well more commands, "Alexis, can I speak with you?"

"Um, sure?" she responds.

Both brothers give her an odd look but she follows Cas out into the hallway anyway. They walk into the next empty room and Cas shuts the door.

"What's up?" she asks.

"Where have you been?" the angel asks.

"Hunting." she says.

"No one could find you, Alexis. No angel, not Sam, not Dean, not even your own family. You were not just hunting." the angel says.

"What do you want me to say, Cas?" she says.

"You vanished, Alexis. And now you show up, after five months, right when the world is ending. Your ribs have already been carved, and it wasn't by me, so who?" Castiel asks in a slightly demanding tone.

"Why does it matter?" she responds, not wanting to out Gabriel.

"No other angel that I know would've done it, so I am assuming it is the angel that also put their grace in you as an infant, but no angel knows who that is." Cas says, moving slightly closer to her.

"Seriously? He covered his tracks that well? Wow." she says, kind of thinking out loud.

"So you do know who it is." he says.

"Yes, but he's clearly kept it a secret, so why should I tell you? It's not important." she says.

"It is important. You were supposed to be dead, Alexis. You were supposed to have died a while ago. But then an angel put their grace in you, changing everything, making you powerful. Some angels thought you should have been killed as an infant. They said it wasn't normal, no human was supposed to have angel grace in them. Others fought for you. I need to know the angel that did this because it means he also wants to protect you, and there aren't many that feel you need to be protected right now. When Zachariah reported you were alive, some angels wanted to kill you. It's dangerous for you right now, Alexis. Most of Heaven wants you dead, and most of Hell will just want you. You're stuck in the middle, right where you were never supposed to be." he finishes.

Alexis just gapes at him.

"So who is the angel, Alexis?" Castiel questions.

"Gabriel." she says.

"Gabriel?" Cas repeats in a questioning tone. Then he says, "I suppose that makes sense. He's the runaway angel, and not just an angel, an archangel. I should have known it had to be an archangel."

"Don't go find him or anything, please. He's helped me a lot and I actually almost consider him a friend, I don't want to lose that." she says.

"Alright." the angel says and then zaps out.

"Nice talking to you too!" she calls out. _He really needs to learn how to say goodbye. _

When she walks back into Bobby's room, all three of them give her weird looks.

"What?" she asks.

"What'd Cas want?" Dean asks.

"Not much." she says, giving them a look to not push it.

Then Bobby's phone rings. When he hangs up he explains that it was Rufus who needed some help in River Pass, Colorado. A demon problem. So that's where they were going next.

* * *

They come across a broken bridge on the way into town, forcing them to stop and leave the Impala, much to Dean's displeasure. There was also no cell service. The three then headed into town on foot, weapons at the ready. The town was desolate and looked ravaged. There were flipped cars, broken glass, and more. They couldn't find anyone. There was an abandoned car, left on, playing music, left in the middle of the road. As they walk further into town, they find some blood. The sound of a gun is heard and they whirl around.

"Mom?" Alexis states, shock evident in her voice.

"Hello boys, Lex." Ellen says, lowering her gun.

"Ellen, what the heck is going on here?" Dean asks and then gets hit with a splash of holy water.

"Not demons, mom." Alexis says.

Ellen looks at them and then walks past them, so they follow her. Her mother leads them inside a church.

Once inside she says, "Real glad to see you boys." She then hugs them before facing Alexis.

"And you have no idea how glad I am to see you." Ellen says, pulling Alexis into a very tight hug.

Once she steps back, her mother says, "The can of whoop ass I outta open on you. All of you. You can't pick up a phone? What are you, allergic to giving me piece of mind? I have to find out that you're alive from Rufus?"

"Sorry, Ellen." Dean says.

"Sorry mom." Alexis says.

"Yeah you better be. You better put me on speed dial, kid. And you better call your own mother so that she knows you're alive." Ellen says.

Dean nods and Alexis says, "Sorry. I have talked to Jo though."

"Not in over two months. I had no idea if you were even alive, Alexis! No one had seen you in months or even heard from you."

_It's been two months since I talked to Jo? Yikes. _"Sorry." she says.

"You have some explaining to do later." Ellen says and then walks away.

The three follow her and Dean asks, "So what's going on, Ellen?"

"More than I can handle alone." her mother responds.

"How many demons are there?" Sam questions.

"Pretty much the whole minus the dead people and these guys." Ellen says.

Once they stop at a door, Ellen says, "So, this is it right? End times?"

The three share a look and her mother adds, "It's gotta be."

"Seems like it." Sam says.

Ellen nods and then leads them into a room full of people.

"This is Sam, Dean, and my daughter Alexis. They're hunters here to help." Ellen explains.

The guy who had opened the door asks, "You guys hip to this whole demon thing?"

"Yeah, are you?" Dean responds.

Then Ellen explains that Rufus had called and said he was in town investigating omens, then all of a sudden the whole town was possessed. She then says she and Jo were nearby, and Alexis realizes she hadn't seen her sister.

"Where is Jo?" Alexis asks.

"We, uh, we got separated. I was out looking when I found you three." Ellen responds.

"We have to find her." Alexis says, turning to the door.

Sam stops her by grabbing her arm. "Slow down. We'll find her." he says, turning her back around.

"We will find her. Either way, these people can't just sit here." Dean says.

"Yeah, we have to get them out." Sam adds.

Ellen says it's not that easy, they'd tried once and lost half the group. They settle on arming the group. Dean says they passed a sporting goods store on the way in that would have guns.

"Alright, you stay, we'll go." Sam says.

"What about-" Ellen begins but Sam cuts her off, saying, "Jo and Rufus are out there, we'll bring em' back."

Ellen nods and says, "Lex, will you stay?"

Alexis looks between the boys and her mother and then nods, stepping back next to her mother.

Ellen leads her further away from the group and then asks, well more demands, "Where the hell have you been?"

"Hunting." she responds.

"And you couldn't pick up a phone? No one but Jo had heard from you in over five months, Lex. And then not even Jo had heard from you in over two."

"I'm sorry." she says again.

"Where were you?" Ellen asks.

At the look that crosses her face, Ellen asks, in a much more motherly tone, "What happened?"

"It's nothing, mom. I'm fine." Alexis tells her.

"You're my daughter and I know when it's nothing and when it's something. This is not nothing." her mothers tells her.

"I just ran into someone from my past that I wish I hadn't." she says.

"And who would this be and why would that cause you to practically vanish for two months?" Ellen questions.

"I don't like to talk about him, so please don't make me say anymore than I'm about to tell you. His name is Kyle. I dated him for some time a few years ago. The relationship was uh, it was abusive. I got out eventually and hadn't seen him since until well, about two and a half months ago. This time it landed me in the hospital. After that I guess I just completely cut myself off and focused entirely on finding and killing Lilith." Alexis explains.

When she'd finished, there were tears in her mother's eyes. "Oh, Alexis." Ellen says and then pulls her into another hug, possibly tighter than the last. "I'm so sorry." her mother says softly.

Alexis wraps her arms around her mother, relaxing in the comfort of her arms.

When Ellen pulls back she asks, "Are you okay now?"

"Doing my best, mom, doing my best." she says.

Ellen nods and then the two walk back over to the group and wait for the Winchesters to return.

When they do return, the four hunters spread out to teach the group how to load and use the guns. When she was talking with her mom, she glanced back and saw Sam sitting with Dean. There was something going on inside Sam's head that she couldn't quite understand, which meant she didn't know how to help.

"I'm going out. You coming with me?" her mom says to her.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Alexis says.

The two then walk over to the boys and Ellen says, "We'll be back."

"Where are you going?" Dean asks.

"We can't just sit here. Jo is out there somewhere. If we're not back in a half an hour go, get these people out of here." Ellen explains.

"Wait, I'll go with." Sam says as the two stand up.

"Hold on, can I talk to you for a second?" Dean says to Sam.

They walk off to the side, leaving Alexis back with her mother. From what she could tell, Dean didn't want Sam to go, to be around all these demons.

A few minutes later, Ellen, Sam, and Alexis walk out. "So where'd you see her last?" Sam asks once they're outside.

"Up ahead." her mother responds. Ellen then asks what's up with Sam and Dean, says there's a lot different between them these days. All Sam would say is that it was just stresses of the job. Alexis walks slightly off to the side of them, keeping her mouth shut. After walking for a little longer, Sam points out smoke up ahead.

"A chimney? Why would demons have a chimney going?" Alexis says.

"Looks like it." Sam agrees.

Ellen walks ahead and Alexis moves closer to Sam and tells him, "Something doesn't feel right about this."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I don't know. I mean my senses have been off a bit since Lilith but I should be able to sense a town full of demons and I can't. Closest thing I'm getting is well, you. It just doesn't feel right." she explains.

That's when Sam stops walking and turns to face her. "You can sense the demon blood in me?" he asks.

_I never told him that? Oops. _"Uh yeah, kinda. I just get this weird feeling. I don't notice it with you anymore, except for back in that church. Sam, that was bad. But what I'm saying is if this town were truly full of demons, I should be picking up on something. There's just something weird about this." she says.

"You two coming?" her mother calls back from a few feet ahead.

"Be right there, mom." Alexis calls after her. "And the chimney? Demons don't need heat, they don't get cold." Alexis adds quietly.

"I guess you're right. Let's see what we find up here." Sam says and then the two quickly catch up to Ellen.

The three were behind a corner, about to turn, when Ellen gets pulled back. Someone is quickly on Sam and Alexis.

That's when she hears her sister's voice. "Don't move you evil skank." Jo says.

When Alexis could finally see her, she saw black eyes. _Demon? Shit. _Sam was fighting with one guy as Alexis was fighting with another. Suddenly she was hit over the head and fell just in time to see Sam also hit over the head. Before she passed out, she saw it was Rufus. She woke up tied to a chair next to Sam. When she looks up, she sees Rufus and her sister.

"Lex? You okay?" Sam asks.

"I'm good." she responds, struggling against her restraints as Sam was.

"No way you two are getting out of those." Rufus says, stepping closer.

Both had black eyes, but Alexis couldn't sense anything. Something was definitely not right. Rufus smacks Sam and Jo throws holy water on them both, but it does nothing. _Do they think we're demons? _Rufus then pours salt down Sam's mouth and then Alexis' while muttering some chant.

"Come on." Sam shouts.

"Something's not right." Alexis adds.

Jo splashes holy water on them again.

"Come on. Stop, listen." Sam says.

That's when a guy, a guy who'd been in the church, appears at the doorway and touches his ring.

"Jo, Rufus. We're us. Something's not right. Just listen to us." Alexis explains.

"You can see that. Please just listen to us." Sam says.

"How could I be a demon if I have an anti-possession tattoo?" Alexis asks.

After Jo and Rufus leave, Alexis focuses on undoing her restraints.

"What's going on here, Lex?" Sam asks.

"I have no idea. But something tells me that church guy has something to do with it. His ring." she says.

"Wait, don't the four horseman have rings?" Sam says.

"Fuck. Do you think this is War?" Alexis asks.

"Probably. Shit, how do we explain this? They think we're demons." Sam says.

"I don't know. But I'm almost out, then I'll get you out."

"You're almost out?" Sam asks, sounding surprised.

"Still have my telekinesis." she says.

"Oh, right. I've never actually seen you use it before though." Sam says.

"Yeah well, in situations like this, it helps." she responds.

After a few more minutes, she's finally out. They hear footsteps outside and Sam tells her to go.

"But-" she begins, except he cuts her off, saying, "Go, Lex. Go find your mom and Dean. I'll be okay."

She looks at him hesitantly but then leaves, heading out a window.

She manages to get out of the house before anyone spots her, by the time someone does she's far enough away that they can't reach her by foot. That's when she hears two shots ring out. Alexis immediately moves for cover, but one of the bullets manage to graze her arm.

"Fuck_." _she mutters to herself.

When she doesn't here anymore gun shots she runs the rest of the way to the church, ducking behind things when she could. She pounds on the door when she gets there and Dean lets her in.

"Lex! Where's Sam?" Dean asks.

"He uh, is kinda back with them. But they aren't demons, Dean. They think we are and we think they are. It's something else." she explains.

She steps inside and that's when Dean notices her arm. "You're bleeding." he states.

"It's nothing." she says.

"What happened?" he questions.

"Graze wound." she tells him.

"Let me see it." he says.

"Dean, it's fine." Alexis says, trying to get him to focus on the actual problem here.

"Just let me see it, Alexis." Dean commands.

She rolls her eyes and then pulls off the button up shirt she had on, leaving her in a tank top. "This needs to be cleaned up." he says, bringing his hand to it. He leads her over to her mother and tells her to just sit still and that he'd clean it.

"What happened?" her mother asks her, spotting the wound immediately.

"Graze wound. I'm fine." she says.

Dean returns with a small first aid kit and begins cleaning her wound and Ellen explains Rufus came to town because the river suddenly ran polluted and apparently the demon thing started up right after.

"We're thinking it's something apocalypse related." Dean adds.

"War." Alexis says.

"What?" both her mother and Dean question.

"It's War, one of the four horsemen. Sam and I saw him." she says.

"You're sure?" the oldest Winchester asks.

"Yep. He uh, showed up when Rufus and Jo had Sam and I tied up. He was lurking outside the doorway, gesturing to his ring. He was in here earlier, but I don't see him now." Alexis explains, glancing around the room.

"A horseman. This is just great." Dean says, finishing up with her arm.

"How do we get rid of him?" her mother asks.

"I'm not positive, but I think we have to get the ring." she says.

"The ring. Because that'll be so easy." Dean says, his words dripping with sarcasm.

"If you've got anything better, I'm all ears." she responds.

"Nope." Dean says and her mother shakes her head.

Dean gets up to grab her shirt and then hands it to her, saying, "So you said the horsemen was in here earlier? Why don't we just wait for him to come back?"

She grabs the shirt from him and stands up to put it on as she responds, "We just gotta hope he doesn't turn them on us. Make them see us as demons."

"Well, if he does that, we run." Ellen says.

"Guess that's the best plan we've got then." Alexis says.

Once Ellen walks away, Dean tells her, "Be careful with your arm, you don't want to tear it open again."

"I'll be fine." she says.

"Just be careful, alright? If we do have to go out there, let me cover you and avoid using your left arm." he says.

"Dean-" she begins but he cuts her off, "Would you just do what I say for once?"

"Fine." she relents.

The two walk over and sit on one of the steps to wait.

"You said Jo and Rufus had you and Sam tied up, how'd you get out?" Dean asks once they're out of earshot from everyone else.

"Telekinesis? What did everyone just forget about that?" she says.

"Oh right, sorry." he says with a small laugh.

"Well it took me a while and I was going to get Sam out too but we heard footsteps outside so he told me to go, he'd be fine. I went out the window and got out unnoticed, then I'm guess whoever walked into the room realized I was gone and looked out the window, hence them shooting at me." Alexis explains.

"More than likely. But Sammy's still tied up?" Dean asks.

"Probably." she says, a hint of sadness in her voice.

The two sit in silence for a while until there's a knock at the door. "Showtime." Dean mutters and the two stand up.

When the guy, Roger, walks in both Dean and Ellen look to her for confirmation, so she nods in response. Roger was going on about how he saw a ton of demons, riling the group up enough so that they wouldn't listen to Dean or Ellen. Roger winks at Dean and then points to the three hunters saying, "Look at their eyes, they're demons."

The group gasps and starts readying guns, so the three take off in a run. Once they're out of the church, they head towards the house Sam, Rufus, and Jo are in. When they get there, Ellen goes one way and Alexis and Dean go another.

When they get to a window, Dean says, "Bombs. Stay back."

He then throws something through the window, attracting both Jo and Rufus' attention. Seconds later, the two hunters were in the room and Dean and Alexis were hiding outside the window. When Rufus gets close enough, Dean pulls him out and Alexis goes in after her sister. Ellen appears behind them moments later just as Alexis pins Jo against a wall.

"Jo, listen to me. I'm not a demon. Neither is Dean. No one here is. This whole thing is War, one of the four horsemen. He's turning us against each other. Think about the omens that brought Rufus here in the first place. It's War. Demons are just a hallucination." Alexis explains, still struggling with her sister.

"Wh-what? War?" Jo says, slowly letting up.

"It is War, Joanna Beth." Ellen says, walking over to them.

"Now can I let you go or are you going to try and kill me?" Alexis asks her sister.

"N-no, I believe you." Jo replies.

Alexis releases her grip on her sister and Jo instantly throws her arms around Alexis, squeezing her tight.

"Jo, I can't breathe." Alexis says, slightly out of breath.

"Oh, sorry." Jo says, releasing her. "Where the hell have you been?" Jo then asks.

_That's like the third time I've been asked that in the past few days. _"I'll explain later. We've got to get rid of War." Alexis says.

Jo nods and then Rufus and Dean come through the window.

"We all on the same page?" Ellen asks.

Rufus and Dean nod and then Dean says, "Okay, we've gotta find war before everybody in this town kills-"

He's cut off by the sound of gunshots, causing the group of hunters to duck. "Dammit. Where's Sam?" Dean asks.

"Upstairs." Alexis answers.

Dean takes off for the stairs and Alexis runs after him. Alexis leads Dean down the hall and into the room they had been in. She knew because of the picture that was directly outside of it.

"Dean, Lex." Sam says as they walk in.

Dean begins untying him as Alexis says, "It's definitely War. But now we've got the whole town shooting at us."

"Great." Sam responds.

"You okay?" she asks as Dean cuts the last rope.

"Fine, you?" he asks her.

"Fine."

Dean shoots her a look that Sam catches, prompting him to ask, "What happened?"

"We don't have time. I'll explain later, okay?" she says.

Sam reluctantly nods and stands up, finally free from the chair.

"We gotta move." Dean says, pushing the two ahead of him and out of the room.

The three manage to get out and head back to the red Mustang they'd seen and decided it was War's car. Dean and Sam charge the guy and Alexis pulls out her knife. She then brings his hand down and cuts off the finger that had the ring on it. War and his car vanish into thin air and Alexis wipes the blood off her face as Dean bends down to grab the ring.

* * *

"Let's head back to my mom, Jo, and Rufus, before we leave." Alexis says.

"Sounds good." Dean agrees.

The three then walk back to the house and Jo's the first one to greet them. "Sorry about the whole tying you guys up thing." Jo says to Sam and Alexis. "By the way, how'd you get out of those?" Jo asks her.

"Remember the powers I told you about?" Alexis says quietly.

"Oh, right, those. Well anyways, where the hell have you been the past two months?"

"I've been hunting. Sorry I kind of fell off the face of the Earth." Alexis says.

"Just call more often, okay?" her older sister asks.

"Will do." she responds.

They all talk for a couple more minutes before Dean says, "We should probably get going."

"Yeah, we should too." Ellen says.

"Call at least once every other week, would you? I'd like to know my daughter is alive." Ellen says to Alexis before they leave.

"I will. See you soon, mom." Alexis says, giving her mother a hug.

She then turns to Jo and says, "I'll see you soon too. Bye, Jo."

"Bye, Lex. Be careful." Jo responds.

"You too." she says and then turns back to the boys.

The three head out and begin walking back to where they'd left the Impala.

"So, Lex, what did happen when you got out?" Sam asks a few minutes into the walk.

"Someone was firing at me, one of the bullets grazed me. Dean cleaned it up, I'm fine." she says, tired of everyone fussing over her. _It's just a graze wound, would everyone just cool it? _she thinks to herself.

"You didn't tear it open, did you?" Dean asks.

"No. It's good. Would everyone stop asking about it? All of us have had much worse." she says.

"Alright, alright." Dean says.

The three walk the rest of the way in silence. Once they got back to the car, they drove for a bit and stopped at an area with a picnic table. Sam and Alexis were sitting across from Dean, who was currently spinning the ring with his finger.

"So, pit stop on Mount Doom?" Dean says.

"Dean-" Sam begins only to have Dean cut him off by saying, "Sam, let's not-" Sam then cuts him off and says, "No, listen. This is important, for both of you to hear."

Alexis stops messing with the hem of her sleeve and looks to Sam as he continues.

"I know you don't trust me, Dean, and I'm not sure if you do, Lex, just now I realized something, I don't trust me either. From the minute I saw that blood all I thought in my head... And I tell myself it's for the right reasons, my intentions are good, it feels true, you know? But I think, underneath, I just miss the feeling. I know how messed up that sounds, which means I know how messed up I am. The thing is, the problem's not the demon blood, not really, I mean what I did I can't blame the blood or Ruby or anything... The problem is me, how far I'll go. There's something in me that...scares the hell out of me. And the last couple days, I caught another glimpse." Sam explains.

"So what are you saying?" Dean asks.

"I'm in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back because I'm dangerous... maybe it's best we just go our separate ways." Sam responds.

She didn't know what to say, or really what Sam meant. Did he want all of them to split up? For her to stay with him? For her to stay with Dean? So she sat silent, letting the two brothers talk it out before saying anything.

"Well I think you're right." Dean says, sounding sad to say so.

"I was expecting a fight." Sam tells him.

"Truth is I spend more time worrying about you, both of you, than about doing the job right. I just- I can't afford that, you know? Not now." Dean explains.

Sam nods and says, "I'm sorry, Dean."

"I know you are, Sam." Dean says.

"I'm going to let you two talk, I'll be at the car." the older Winchester then adds, standing up.

Once Dean walks away, Sam turns to face Alexis.

"Everything you just said, I understand. So you just have to tell me what you want me to do here. Do you want me to come with you? Stay with Dean? Split up completely?" Alexis says.

"We just got back together, and you helped me last time. You helped me stop, helped me even get the thought of it out of my mind, so I'd like you to come with me, but I can't ask you to stop hunting just for me." Sam says.

She turns slightly and wraps her hands around one of his before saying, "You're not asking me to, I want to. You've taken care of me and helped me before, let me do the same for you."

Sam nods and says, "Okay."

"Okay." she responds. "Where do you want to go? We can go back to Chicago, stay there for a while if you want."

"Chicago is good. Haven't been back there since well…" Sam trails off.

"Yeah, me neither." she says.

The two stand up and walk back over to Dean.

"So." Dean says as they approach.

"So I'm going to go with him, take a break too. You going to be okay on your own?" Alexis asks Dean.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. You go. Do you guys want me to drop you off somewhere?" Dean asks.

"Bus station?" she says questioningly.

Sam nods and Dean says, "Alright bus station it is then."

The three pile into the Impala and Dean drives to the nearest bus station. Sam gets out and grabs both his and Alexis' stuff while Alexis talks to Dean.

"Be careful, okay? Look out for him, and look out for yourself." Dean tells her.

"I will. You be careful too. If anything happens, call me. I'll just meet you or both of us will depending." she responds.

"Alright." Dean says.

"Okay. Bye, Dean." she says, opening the car door.

"Bye, Lex." Dean tells her.

Alexis steps out and walks over to Sam, taking one last glance at the Impala.

She takes a deep breath and says, "Chicago."

"Chicago." Sam repeats.

The two lift up their bags and walk into the bus station, leaving Dean and the Impala behind them.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, the next chapter will be completely original, entirely replacing episode 5x3, so some things will be changed. Let me know what you think about how I'm doing with season 5 so far! Reviews really help me. _


	28. Fix A Heart

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural but I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 28: Fix A Heart**

**-Sam-centric POV-**

The ride from Colorado to Chicago took a while, they had to switch busses once also, so it was sometime late the next morning that they'd finally walked into the apartment.

"So since no one has been here for five months, I'm going to go get some groceries." Alexis says once they set their stuff down.

"You sure? I can go. You've got to be tired, you didn't sleep on the bus." Sam says.

"No, I'm good, I'll go." she says insistently.

"Okay." he says, knowing it would be futile to argue with her over sleep. She then grabs a purse and heads out the door. There was something going on inside her head that he couldn't quite understand. They'd really only been back with each other about a week and she wasn't letting on to much. He only even knew about Kyle because of Chuck, otherwise she probably wouldn't have said anything at all. They both had things they needed to work out, with themselves and with each other. It was just going to take some time. The past five months had definitely put some distance between the two of them. Though he hated to admit it, a small part of him was still angry at her for leaving and then not calling even once. Most of the time, he had no idea if she was alive. He had to call Jo if he wanted to be sure. Sam walks into one of the other bedrooms and sets his bag in there. Since it'd been five months, he wasn't sure she'd want to sleep in the same bed or even if he did. He then sits and watches TV while he waits for Alexis to return. About an hour later, she does walk back through the door.

After she puts everything away, she walks over and sits down next to Sam. "I think we need to talk." she says.

At that, he shuts off the TV and angles himself so that he's facing her. "The last time you said that, you broke up with me." he responds.

"I know. What I mean is we need to talk, actually talk. A lot has happened these past few days and the past few months, and we haven't really talked. If we're going to try and make this work, we need to talk, get stuff out in the open." she explains.

Sam nods, realizing what she meant. "Alright, can I go first?" he asks.

She nods and Sam tries to figure out what to say.

"Okay, I'm just going to say what comes to mind right now. Five months ago, in pretty much this exact spot, you broke up with me and left. As much as I want to forgive you for that, part of me is still mad. Mad that you just left without giving me a chance to convince you to stay. Mad that you left and then didn't call once in five months, not even on my birthday, not even when you were in the hospital because you saw Kyle again. And I'm mad that I am mad at you, because I don't want to be, I don't like being mad at you. Hell I'm even mad you went after Lilith alone. She could have killed you, Lex, and none of us would have known. Do you have any idea what that would've done to me? Never knowing what happened to you?" he says, finally letting himself feel everything he'd been keeping at bay since she showed up again.

She nods and says, "Keep going."

"You could of died, Lex, and no one would have known. You practically vanished into thin air. We couldn't find you, your mother didn't know where you were, Bobby hadn't heard from you, Cas couldn't find you. Had it not been for Jo, we'd have all thought you were dead. And even then, the last two months not even Jo had heard from you. I tried, I tried really hard, not to think about you every day, wonder where you were, if you were okay, but I couldn't. I'd wake up everyday in whatever random motel we were in and you weren't next to me anymore. I'd wonder where you were waking up... even if you were waking up alone or not. I couldn't get you out of my head, Alexis, no matter how hard I tried. And I guess, I was just so mad and sad, and Ruby was there, so I went back to the demon blood. I'm not blaming you, I'm not, it's all on me, but... I hate what you leaving did to me. I hate that you left. I almost hated you for it, but then, when I walked into that church and saw you, all that just vanished. I wanted to hug you and tell you never to leave again, ever, but it wasn't you, not entirely, it was Lilith… I killed you, Lex. You made me kill you. You died, again, and I couldn't do anything about it, I caused it and released the devil. So as much as I still am angry at you… I'm angry at myself. You keep telling me it wasn't my fault, not entirely, and part of me knows that but I still released Lucifer. There is nothing anyone can do or say to change that. I'm just so angry, at you, at myself, at everything, and I don't know how to fix that. I don't know how to fix this… to fix us… to fix anything." he finishes. He then nods, telling her to speak.

"I get that you're mad, I do, and I'll apologize for leaving like that as much as I have to, but I don't really know what else to say. I hate myself for what I did to you Sam, for how I hurt you. If I could've left without doing that, I would've, but I didn't see another way. Maybe there was one, but I didn't see it. All I knew was Lilith wanted me alive and there were demons trying to kill you, and if I could get away, take their attention off of you, maybe you and Dean would be okay. I'm sorry I didn't call, I thought about it, but I couldn't. I was afraid I'd hear your voice and I wouldn't be able to stay away any longer, and I needed to. And I know Lilith could've killed me, but frankly I didn't care, and that's bad, believe me, I know that's bad, but I really didn't care enough to ensure I'd make it out alive. I really am sorry for everything I put you through. The not knowing if I was alive, if I was okay, or even where I was. I couldn't get you out of my head either, if that means anything. But knowing you weren't alone, that you had Dean, that's how I kept myself away. You have no idea how many times I almost broke down and picked up the phone." Alexis says, pausing to collect her thoughts. "And you had to kill me, Sam, it was the only way to kill Lilith. She would have killed me if you hadn't. And it isn't your fault, honestly it could be put on Dean because he made a demon deal, sending him to Hell, leading him to breaking the very first seal. I don't blame him, and I don't blame you. This whole things sucks, but really who I blame is the angels and Ruby. I don't know how to fix this either, Sam, how to fix us, but this is a start. Talking, actually talking. I haven't said this much to anyone in five months, possibly even longer. But, um, I want you to know that it's okay if you're angry at me, or even if you hate me… because anything you could possibly feel towards me, isn't as bad as what I feel." she says, stopping again.

When she doesn't continue, Sam asks, "What'd you mean?"

"I hate myself, Sam. I do. I died and maybe, well maybe I should've stayed dead this time." she says.

"Lex..." he says, not sure how to respond. Sam then takes one of her hands in his and says, "I don't hate you, okay? I don't want you to hate yourself either."

"Yeah, well I do." she responds.

There was a flash of something in her eyes, something he'd only caught a few glimpses of the past few days. "There's something else. What is it?" he asks her gently.

Alexis shakes her head no, saying she didn't want to talk about it.

"Please talk to me." he says.

"I- I can't." she says.

"Lex, please." Sam pleads with her.

_If she'd just tell me what happened, I can help. _She raises her eyes to meet his and he sees a look he'd never seen there before, one of pure desperation and sadness.

"I just want to be done, Sam." she says, voice laced with defeat.

"Lex..." he trails off, again not sure what to say. Not sure what words to use, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. "You don't mean that." he says softly.

She buries her head in his chest, snaking one arm around him and bringing the other up against her chest. "I do. I've died twice, and almost died three more times, why the hell am I still here? I'm not supposed to be." she says, not really to anyone.

"I don't know why, but you're supposed to be, okay?" he says, moving his hand in small circles on her back.

"But why? Why can't I just be done?" she says.

"I don't know, Lex, I don't know. I should've died too, in that church, all three of us should have. I don't know why we got out." Sam says honestly. He'd been thinking that the past few days, he should've died. He'd killed Alexis, lost all the trust Dean had had in him, and let Lucifer free, he should be dead too.

"I'm supposed to be dead, Sam." she says sadly.

"No, you're not. You're supposed to be here." he insists.

"No, I'm not. Both Cas and Chuck said so." she mumbles.

At that, he pulls back slightly and brings his hand to her chin, angling her head to face him. "What do you mean?" he asks.

"The other day, when Cas wanted to talk to me, he uh, he told me I was supposed to be dead. I was never even supposed to be here with you guys in the first place. Even when I was a baby, there were angels who wanted me dead. Now, almost all of them want me dead. And Chuck, he said I wasn't even supposed to make it out of that church. I'm supposed to be dead, Sam, but I'm not and that, well that's even worse." Alexis explains.

"Lex?" he asks, fearing the answer to the question he was about to ask her. She looks at him with sad eyes and a questioning look so he continues, "You wouldn't- you wouldn't try to… kill yourself, would you?"

"I've tried, remember? Didn't work." she responds with tears in her eyes.

He could feel some tears building up in his eyes too as he asks, "What?"

"The car accident?" she responds.

Recognition crosses his face and he nods.

"I can't even control if I die or not." Alexis says sadly, resting her head against his chest again.

He didn't know how to respond to that so he asks "When's the last time you really slept, Lex? You look tired."

"I dunno, a while ago." she responds.

"Get some sleep then, we can talk more later." he tells her.

She nods again and gets up off the couch to walk into her room. "Don't let me sleep more than three hours, it'll throw me way off and then I won't sleep tonight." she tells him from the doorway.

"Okay." he tells her and then she turns, shutting the door behind her.

* * *

The three hours that Alexis slept gave Sam time to think about things. They were both going through some stuff right now and needed each other. He wasn't entirely sure how to help Alexis want to live, but he knew he had to try. He had to watch her, protect her. If there were going to be angels and demons after her, he needed to keep her in his sight as much as he could.

Around 1:30 in the afternoon, he hears a scream come from her room. He's immediately on his feet and in the room. She was tossing and turning, still asleep, but obviously having a nightmare. Sam's quickly next to her, gripping her shoulders, and trying to wake her up.

"Lex, hey, wake up." he says.

Her eyes fly open and jump around the room, clearly panicked.

"It's okay, it was just a nightmare."

She calms down slightly, locking her eyes on his, but she was still shaking. She takes a few deep breathes and he watches as her mental walls are raised, he knows her well enough now that he can see it happen.

"Dammit." she mutters and then says, "I'm sorry."

_She apologizes way too often. _"You didn't do anything. What was it about?" Sam asks, sitting down next to her.

"Doesn't matter." she replies.

"Yes it does." he insists.

"Kyle." she mumbles almost inaudibly.

He could feel himself getting angry all over again. _I swear to God if I ever see this dick he's dead. _

"You don't need to worry about this. I'm fine, it shouldn't bother me this much. I should- I thought I- just- just forget it." she says, clearly stumbling over what to say.

"You're not fine, Lex, and no one would expect you to be. Just talk to me, I can try to help." he tells her.

"I can't, I wouldn't know what to say." Alexis says.

"Okay." he responds, understanding what she meant. Sometimes there were things you just couldn't put into words.

"I uh- I noticed you didn't put your stuff in here." she says, changing the topic.

"I wasn't sure if I should." he replies.

"I would like you to, but if you don't want to, I get it." she tells him.

"No, no, I do, I just wasn't sure you would..." he says.

"I do. I like having you next to me. It's stupid but I guess it just makes me feel safe." she says.

"It's not stupid. And I like having you next to me too." he responds, a small smile making its way to his face.

"You do?" she asks, as if she was shocked.

"Of course I do. Even your cold feet." he says.

That manages to bring a small smile to her face.

"I don't know about you, but I'm pretty hungry. How about we get some food?" Sam suggests.

She nods her head and says, "Mind if we order in though?"

"Fine by me." he says.

* * *

**-Alexis-centric POV- **

It had been about six weeks since they'd stepped back from hunting and gotten back to Chicago. Things were better between Alexis and Sam, more normal and less weird. They were talking more and working things out. Sam had signed up for some summer classes at a college and Alexis had gotten a job at a local bakery. It was weird, living a life without hunting, having a job, having an actual place to call home. She was almost happy. Almost. All that changed when her worst nightmare walked through the door of the bakery.

She was the last one there, left to close up. She was cleaning off a table when the door opens, so without looking up, she says, "Sorry, we're closed."

"Oh this won't take long." she hears and chills run down her spine.

She looks up and locks eyes with Kyle. "Kyle." she says coldly.

"Alexis." Kyle says.

"Why are you here?" she asks, already trying to figure out the best way to get out of this.

"You shot me, I think it's only fair I return the favor." he says, pulling out a gun.

_Fuck. I don't have any weapons. If I can just stall until Sam gets here to pick me up. _Since it was Friday, Sam had dropped her off at work with plans to pick her up after and go out for a movie. "You don't want to do that." she says, slowly backing away, not sure where to go.

"Oh but I do. See, you grazed me and then had cops on my ass. A bullet in you is just my way of repaying you." Kyle says coolly, stepping closer to her.

She takes another step back and finds herself up against the wall. _Shit, Sam needs to get here. Now. _

"Not so fun when I'm the one with a gun now, is it?" he says, continuing to move closer.

Before she could formulate a plan, Kyle has her pinned to the wall, gun to her head.

"If you do this, you'll go to jail." she says.

"That's only if I'm caught. Not like you'll be around to talk." he says.

A shiver runs down her spine as she realizes his intention was to kill her. "Kyle, I know you, you're not a murderer." she says, doing her best to stall.

He leans closer to her, his mouth right by her ear as he whispers, "You don't know me at all."

Unfortunately, that was true. "Please, don't do this." she pleads.

"You were mine. All mine. But being the slut that you are, you've been with someone else. So if I can't have you, no one can." Kyle says. "Now, time to have some fun." he adds, pulling out a knife with his other hand.

Her eyes widen slightly at the sight of it. He trails the knife lightly across her face before bringing it down to her arm, cutting deep enough to draw blood. He carves a K on her upper right arm, still holding the gun to her head, and using his body to keep her against the wall. Then he brings his foot to her stomach, forcefully enough to keep her from moving. He sets the gun and knife down just long enough to rip her shirt open. He then picks the gun back up, aiming it at her head again. Next, he picks the knife up and adds three cuts by one of her hips, matching the ones he'd given her months earlier on the other hip.

"Just do it already." Alexis says, just wanting him to stop.

That's when she spots Sam over Kyle's shoulder. Sam's eyes widen and his jaw clenches as he throws the door open. Kyle immediately turns, aiming the gun at Sam, who was also weaponless.

"Oh look, the guy Lexi has been slutting around with." Kyle says.

"Kyle, don't." she says, trying to get him to turn back to her, and also letting Sam know it was Kyle.

"Kyle?" Sam repeats, pure venom in his voice.

Seeing Kyle was about to shoot, she stupidly jumps in front of him, blocking Sam with her body. She fought him for the gun, but since Kyle was stronger, he manages to shoot it at her. The hunter in her kicks in and she dodges it enough so that it only grazes her. She then wrestles the gun away from him, and once she has it, Kyle throws her backwards into a wall, as if she was nothing more than a toy. Alexis slams into the wall, the gun flying out of her hands. Kyle lunges for it and reaches it just before Sam does. Gun in hand, Kyle stands up and aims it back at Alexis. Sam dives for him, knocking him down. Sam was now on top of Kyle, throwing punches left and right. She'd never seen him so angry, not once. Once Kyle was unconscious, Sam was still throwing punches.

Not wanting Sam to kill him, she calls out, "Sam."

He jerks his head up and his face fades from anger to concern and sadness as he spots her. He's immediately at her side, assessing her injuries. Seconds later, sirens were heard. Someone must have called 911 after hearing the gunshot. A few cops enter first, followed by some paramedics. Kyle was taken to the hospital to be evaluated, but he'd go to jail after. They wanted to take her too, but she refused, only allowing them to patch her up just outside the bakery.

**-Sam-centric POV-**

After the police question both Alexis and Sam, they were finally able to leave. The car ride back to the apartment was completely silent. The police had told Alexis she would need to testify in court against Kyle. That meant seeing him again, and he had no idea how Lex was going to be able to handle it. He didn't even know how to handle it.

When they walk into the living room of the apartment Alexis announces, "I'm going to get some sleep."

"Lex, we should talk." Sam says.

"Not now, please. I just want to sleep." she says, with one of the saddest expressions he'd ever seen on her face.

Sam nods and she turns to walk into the bedroom, leaving him alone with his thoughts. _I should call Dean, she's should have more people than just me. _Things between he and his brother weren't great right now, but that gets put aside when it's about Lex. Taking a deep breath, he sits down on the couch and pulls out his phone, dialing his older brother.

Dean picks up after a few rings, answering, "Hello?"

"Hey, Dean." Sam says, somewhat awkwardly.

"Sammy. Everything okay?" his older brother says.

"Uh, actually no." he says.

"What is it? What happened? Are you okay? Lex?" Dean says, immediately concerned.

"I'm okay, but uh, Lex, not so much." he says, not really sure how to explain what had just happened.

"What happened?" Dean asks, sounding very worried.

"Kyle." Sam responds.

"Again? What the hell happened, Sammy?" his older brother questions.

"It's hard to explain over the phone. She just… she could use us both right now." Sam says.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Dean says.

Sam nods and then realizes Dean couldn't see that so he says, "Okay."

Dean says goodbye and then Sam hangs up.

* * *

The next morning, Sam was up before Alexis. Around eight, there was a buzz at the door. _Dean must be here already. _

Minutes later, Dean walks through the door. "Where is she?" his older brother asks, looking around.

"Still asleep." he responds.

Dean nods and then asks, "Okay, what exactly happened?"

"I don't know everything, just what I saw. She went to bed without talking to me about it last night. But um, she'd gotten a job at a bakery and was the one left to close up last night. Since it was Friday, I was going to pick her up and we were going to go out to a movie. When I got there, all I could see was some guy and Lex. He had her pinned to the wall, a gun to her head. I burst in and the guy turned to me, turning the gun too. He seemed to know who I was." Sam begins, pausing to take a breath. "Then uh, Lex said 'Kyle, don't.' When I knew that was Kyle, I don't know what happened, I just- I've never been that angry. Kyle was preparing to shoot and Lex jumped in front of him, trying to wrestle the gun from him. It went off, gave her a pretty deep graze wound. She did manage to get the gun from him, but Kyle threw her backwards, knocking the gun out of her hand. I dove for it but so did he, and he got to it first. Kyle got up, aiming again at Lex, but I launched myself at Kyle, knocking him off his feet. Cops came soon after and well, that's it. She's going to have to testify against him though." he finishes up.

"Jesus." Dean says.

"I didn't, I don't, know what to do. So I called you." he tells his brother.

"I'm glad you did. I'd have been mad had you not." his brother responds.

"She's been asleep a while, I was going to run and get food." Sam says.

"Go. I'll be here if she wakes up." Sam nods and then turns to head out the door.

**-Dean-centric POV-**

Dean didn't know what to do, he wanted to punch something, kill something. Why did all of this shit keep happening to Alexis? What did she ever do to deserve it? When Sam had called and said Kyle had showed up again, a wave of anger had passed through Dean, a wave stronger than he'd ever felt before. He knew exactly what Sam meant when he said he'd never been that angry. Ten minutes later, Alexis' door opens and she walks out. Dean had to do a double take when he saw her. She was bruised, cut up, and her eyes were puffy, as if she'd been crying.

"Dean?" she asks.

"Sam called me." he says, standing up.

"You didn't have to come, I'm-" she begins.

He cuts her off, saying, "If you say you're fine, so help me God."

"But-" she protests.

"You're not fine, Alexis, and no one would expect you to be."

"I just, I don't want to talk about it." Alexis says.

"Well, you're going to have to." he tells her.

"I can't." she responds.

"Lex, you have to testify against him. You're going to have to talk about it, whether you like it or not." he says.

"Where's Sam?" she asks, changing the subject.

"He went to get food." he replies.

"Well I'm going to shower." she announces, turning on her heels and walking back into her room.

"Alexis." Dean says, stopping her at the door.

"Dean, don't. Please." she says, her back to him.

When he doesn't say anything, she continues walking. Ten minutes later, he still hadn't heard water running so he gets up and walks into her room. He finds her standing in shorts and a sports bra in front of a full-length mirror, tears in her eyes.

"Lex?" he asks hesitantly, stepping towards her.

"I can't- I can't wash him off... I just want to wash him off." she says, voice laced with defeat. She then turns to him and says, "What did I do to deserve this? Why me? Why does the universe hate me so much?"

He'd never seen her look so sad, so defeated and frustrated before. All he wanted to do was help, but he didn't know how. He had no idea what she was going through and he didn't know what to say to make it any better. "I don't know, Lex, I don't know." he says.

"I just… I want to look in the mirror and not see Kyle, but I can't. How am I supposed to keep living when it feels like Kyle could just show up?" she continues.

"He's never, ever, going to hurt you again, Alexis. Never. He's going to jail and after you testify, you'll never have to see him again." Dean says, trying to comfort her.

"That doesn't change the fact that when I look at myself, all I see is Kyle. I'm damaged, Dean, maybe beyond repair…" Alexis says.

"Hey, no, no. You are not damaged. You are strong, you're brave, you're not damaged, you got that?" he says, stepping closer to her and taking one of her hands in his.

"I'm not brave. If I were brave, I wouldn't have spent the last twelve hours in my room, avoiding talking. I wouldn't be scared that every noise I hear is going to be Kyle. I am not brave." she responds.

"Yes, you are. You may not see it, but I do. I don't really know how to help, but would Cas healing you fix anything?" Dean suggests.

She looks down at the cuts on her arms and stomach and then the graze wound before looking back up at him and nodding.

"Okay." he says and leads her out of the bathroom, sitting her on her bed.

"Castiel! We could use your help!" he shouts.

Seconds later, the angel appears. "Alexis? What happened?" Cas says, stepping closer to her.

"That douchebag ex-boyfriend of hers, Kyle." Dean says.

The angels face darkens as he asks, "Who is this Kyle?"

"It doesn't matter. Can you just… just heal me, Cas?" Alexis says.

"Of course." Castiel says, placing his hand first on the graze wound and then moving to the cuts.

Sam walks in a minute later and says "Oh, hey Cas."

"Sam." the angel responds.

"Uh, what's going on?" Sam asks, clearly confused.

"He healed me." Alexis says.

"Oh." his younger brother replies.

"Is there anything else you need?" Castiel asks.

"No. Thanks, Cas." she says.

Cas nods and then disappears.

"I'm uh, going to get dressed." Alexis announces and then gets up and walks into her closet.

Sam nods and walks out of the room and Dean follows him.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

Standing in front of the mirror now that Cas had healed her made her feel slightly better. At least she wasn't staring at a K carved into her arm any longer. She still wasn't sure how to process everything though. She didn't know exactly how she felt or how to talk to either Sam or Dean about it. Yes, she was angry, but she was also sad, and scared, and mostly defeated. She knew Sam had to be worried about her, especially since he called Dean. _Maybe if I see Kyle in handcuffs or in jail, I'll feel better_. As she got dressed, she'd resolved that that was what she'd do. She was going to ask the boys to take her to the hospital, to see Kyle.

Walking out of her room, Alexis asks, "Um, guys?"

They both quickly turn to look at her and she continues, "Could you, um, take me to the hospital?"

"What? Why?" Dean says while Sam asks, "Are you okay?"

"I want to see Kyle." she states.

"What?" both brothers ask simultaneously.

"I want to see Kyle." she repeats.

"Lex, that's probably not the best idea." Dean says.

"No, I need to see him. I need to see that he's locked up, that he won't… that he won't be showing up again." she explains.

Understanding crosses both of their faces and Sam says, "Alright. But why don't you eat first?"

"What'd you get?" she asks, walking over to them.

"What do you think I got?" Sam responds.

"Portillos?" she asks, a small smile on her face, the first one since yesterday.

"Of course." the younger Winchester responds.

Dean was unpacking one of the bags and when he pulls out a piece of cake he asks, "What is this?"

"That would be cake, Dean." Alexis says, sitting down in between them.

"And why is it not pie?" he asks.

"They don't have pie, just awesome cake." Sam says.

"Yeah, even better than pie." Alexis adds.

"You did not just say that." Dean says, acting offended.

She laughs slightly, reaching for her sandwich.

The three eat and then head out the door a half an hour later.

* * *

"You're sure you want to do this?" Sam asks as the three get out of the car, right outside of the hospital.

"Yes." she responds.

"Alright." Sam says.

Both brothers wrap an arm around her shoulder and the three of them walk into the hospital. When they reach the outside of Kyle's room, she stops and stares in.

"That's him?" Dean asks.

"Yeah." she responds.

It was weird, seeing him be the one in a hospital bed instead of her.

"I'm going to go in." she states.

When both brothers move to follow her, she adds, "Alone."

"Lex-" Sam begins but she cuts him off, saying, "Please."

"We'll be right out here." Dean says, stepping slightly back.

She nods and then walks in.

"Couldn't stay away?" Kyle asks when he sees her.

"Hardly. I just had to see it, see you, locked up and well, beat up. Honestly, you deserve to be dead. And I wish to God I could kill you, but what that would do to me isn't worth it. Seeing you sent to jail for a while is going to have to do. But let me make this clear, if you get out before dying, whenever that may be, and for some reason decide to find me, it'll be the last thing you do. Goodbye, Kyle." Alexis says and then turns to walk out.

"You okay?" Sam asks her when she's back in the hallway.

"Not really. Let's just go." she responds.

Sam nods and wraps an arm around her.

The three then walk back out of the hospital.

When they get back to the apartment, Sam had walked off to shower or something, leaving Alexis with Dean.

"Dean?" she asks.

He turns his head to her with a questioning look on his face.

"You don't have to stay." she says, walking over to him.

"I don't mind." he says.

"I'll be okay. You can go back to hunting." Alexis tells him.

"You're sure?" he asks.

"I'm sure. But I am glad you came." she responds.

"I'm glad Sam called me." Dean says. She nods and then he says, "I guess I will hit the road. But call me more often, okay? I miss you and just want to know both of you are okay."

"I will. I miss you too, Dean. I think Sam needs some more time off, and I want to stay with him. But when he thinks he's ready to go back to hunting, we'll all be back together again." she explains.

"Okay. Be careful, alright? And you'll tell Sammy I said bye?" Dean says.

"You be careful too, you're the one hunting. And yeah, I will. But Dean, you two do need to work things out eventually." Alexis tells him.

"I know… I'm- I'm working on it. I just need some more time." the older Winchester replies.

Alexis nods and Dean turns to grab his stuff before walking out the door.

Sam walks back in a minute later and asks, "Where's Dean?"

"Left." she responds, not looking at him.

"Oh. Already?" Sam says, sounding slightly hurt.

"Yeah, I told him he should. He told me to tell you goodbye for him." she says, turning to face him now.

"You two will work things out. He just needs some more time." Sam nods and she steps closer to him.

"I am glad you called him, though." she tells him.

"Lex, I'd do anything to help you." he replies.

"I know." she says, now close enough that she could lean against him.

"I just- when I saw you and him, all I could think was I was going to kill him… and I would've." Sam says.

"I know, but you didn't. He's going to go to jail for a long time and I'm okay, I'm fine. It's okay." she tells him.

"He hurt you… he- he was going to kill you." he responds.

"I know, I know, but he won't ever again. And right now, I have you, and I know I'm safe with you, so I'm okay." she says.

Sam wraps his arms around her and says, "I just can't lose you, Lex, not again, not after all of this."

"You won't. I'm right here." she tells him.

She feels Sam nod in response and rest his head on hers, his arms still wrapped tightly around her.

"So I was thinking that maybe, um, we could take a trip? I know you're not ready to go back to hunting, but maybe just do a road trip, like an actual one not involving hunting?" she suggests, turning herself to face him.

"I think that actually sounds nice. And we won't have to deal with Dean's music or crappy motels." Sam responds.

"No bad music, no bad motels, and no crappy diners. Just me, you, and a car." she says, a small smile on her face.

"Let's do it. When should we leave?" he says.

"Wednesday? After the um, the court date? Other than that, I just have to let the people at the bakery know I'm not going to be coming back." Alexis says.

"Works for me. I'm not going to finish my classes anyway. I guess I don't like college as much as I used to." he replies.

Alexis nods, knowing what he meant.

"I was thinking we could head to NYC first." she tells him.

"You and cities is something I will never understand. A hunter who loves big cities. And doesn't drink coffee." he says, shaking his head slightly.

"Like I told you a long time ago, I'm full of surprises." she says, still smiling at him.

"That you are. Now I think we have some planning to do." Sam says.

"That we do." she replies.

* * *

_A/N: Please let me know what you think! I haven't gotten a review in a while but I know people are still reading. Feedback really helps me a lot. (Side note: The title of this chapter is also a Demi Lovato song)_


	29. Trapped

**TRIGGER WARNING: Talk of suicide.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it, including some of the dialogue in this chapter. I do own Alexis, Ryan, ****and Jake. (Jane too, let me know if you want more of the backstory there or not?)**

* * *

**Chapter 29: Trapped**

They spent the next month or so driving around the country. NYC, Boston, Nashville, Cleveland, Philadelphia, Memphis, St. Louis, Louisville, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Detroit, Kansas City, Iowa City, and other various places. They'd gone to the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, The Rockefeller center, Mall of America, The Grand Ole Opry, and more. Alexis even dragged Sam to Yankee Stadium, along with any other MLB stadium she could. St. Louis was their last city before they decided to head back to Chicago. Two days after they got back, Alexis gets a call from a very frantic Ryan.

"Hey, Ry." she answers.

"Lex, I need your help." Ryan says, sounding panicked.

"What happened? Where's Jake?" she asks, quickly growing concerned. Ryan wasn't one to lose his cool very easily.

"He-he's gone...I don't know what happened, I just- I can't find him, Lex, you gotta help me." he rushes out.

"Okay, okay. Slow down, where are you and what were you hunting?" she asks, trying not to panic as much as Ryan was.

Sam, who'd been reading something across the room had set down his book and walked over to her, a questioning look on his face.

"We weren't sure what it was yet and now… now it has him. Oh God, what if it kills him?" Ryan says, not answering her question about where they were.

"Ryan, calm down. Jake is going to be okay. We'll find him. Where are you?"

"Um, just outside of Kansas City." he replies.

"Okay. I'm in Chicago so that's a couple hours away. I'll be there as soon as I can. Just hang tight, okay? Don't go looking for him on your own. He'll be fine." Alexis tells him, mentally figuring out how fast she could get there. It would take her at least seven if not eight hours. She needed to leave now.

Ryan hangs up and Alexis turns to Sam, who had a slightly scared but also curious look on his face.

"Um, that was Ryan. Something has Jake and he needs me. It's only a few hours away. I'll go, we'll find Jake, and I'll come back. I won't be gone long, I promise."

"You're going hunting." Sam says.

"I have to. I'll be with Ryan, I'll be okay, don't worry. I'll call you when I get there and when we find him. I'll be back soon. You'll barely notice I'm gone." she says.

"That's not true." he replies.

"Worth a shot. But Sam, I promise you I will be okay and I'll be back soon, alright? I just need to go help him right now." Alexis says.

Sam sighs and says, "Okay. Be careful and if you end up needing help, call me, alright?"

Alexis nods and presses a kiss to his cheek and then walks into her room to grab some stuff.

"I'll be back soon." she assures him as she walks back out, her bag in hand.

"Okay. I love you." Sam says.

"I know. I love you too. See you soon." she responds and then walks out the door.

* * *

It was nearing six that night by the time Alexis got to the motel Ryan was in. As soon as she was inside the room, Ryan began explaining everything he knew.

"We have to find him, Lex, we have to. I promised Jane… I promised my sister that I'd keep him safe."

"We will find him, Ry, we will. You'll keep your promise. Jane would be proud of you, you know that." she says reassuringly. She hadn't thought about Jane in a long time. Neither Ryan nor Jake liked to talk about her and had Alexis not known Jane, she probably would never have heard of her.

"I'm not so sure." Ryan says.

"I am." she tells him.

The two spend the rest of the night going through research before going to bed. By seven the next night, they'd come to the conclusion that it was demons, and they knew where they were. When they reach the abandoned building, they stupidly split up. They were in no way prepared for the amount of demons inside. Alexis finds Jake only to soon realize it was a trap.

"Lex, no, get out of here. Now." Jake says.

He was tied to a chair, bloody and bruised. That's when someone appeared behind her, clasping a cloth over her mouth. Everything fades to black within seconds. When she wakes up, she realizes she's very thoroughly bound to a chair, right in between Jake and Ryan, who were also tied down to chairs.

"Well, well, if it isn't the girl with the angel grace. I've been waiting to meet you." a voice says from the shadows. When he steps out, she see's he's a demon who looks to be in a college student.

"You want me, you got me. Let my friends go." Alexis says.

"Now what would be the fun in that? Three hunters for the price of one. If only you'd brought your little boyfriend with you, or that brother of his. Suppose they'll both come running to save their sweet little Lexi though..." the demon says.

"You're kidding yourself if you think you can beat the Winchesters." she says with a laugh.

Since she was bound incredibly tight and thoroughly, she began focusing on getting Ryan free telekinetically.

The demon steps forward and slaps her, saying, "I've wanted to do that for a long time. You're supposed to be dead, I'm just helping that reign true once more."

"What makes you think I won't come back again? I've died twice and I'm still here. What makes you killing me any different?" she asks, trying to remain cool and distract him.

"Well you see, I'll kill your friends here first, while you watch, and then I'll kill you, nice and slow. You won't want to come back." the demon says, his face only inches from hers.

That's when she finally got Ryan's hands free. He gave her an odd look but then makes a move.

"Hey asshole, you wanna kill me? Go ahead and try." Ryan says, pulling the demon over to him.

"I was going to leave that to my friends." the demon says.

As Ryan busts out, kicking the demon down, six more walk in. She'd gotten one hand free and Ryan ran to get Jake free while also grabbing a holy water gun. Once Jake was free, he cut her free too. Then it was the three of them against seven demons. _This may not end well._

She pulls her angel blade out of her jacket and hands it to Jake before running and jumping on one of the demons. She was able to exorcise that one but another grabbed her. The demon had her on the ground, slicing her arm rather deeply, when Jake plunges the blade through its chest. Another grabsdJake, launching him backwards and Ryan was struggling with two more. Suddenly, she remembers the charm on her necklace that would play an exorcism. She presses play just as a demon whips out a gun, sights set on her. As the exorcism plays out, a bullet pierces through her chest and she falls backwards.

"Castiel!" she calls out as she hits the ground.

Jake and Ryan were released from the hold the demons had as they were writhing in pain and ran over to her. "Lexi, shit, hang on, we're going to get you out of here." Ryan says, putting pressure on the bullet wound. They both looked pretty beat up, they wouldn't get her out of there. She needed Castiel to heal them and her or she would die. Seconds later, Castiel appears with Dean.

"Alexis, you're hurt." Cas says as Dean runs over to her.

"Shit, Lex. Cas heal her, now." Dean says.

"No. Heal them and then me." she says weakly, she may be dying but she was still going to be stubborn about it.

"Alexis, you're dying." Jake says.

"You either let me die, or you heal them and then me." Alexis says.

"As you wish." the angel responds, stepping towards Jake. Ryan still had his hands on the bullet wound and Dean was holding her head in his lap.

After Cas heal's Ryan he says, "I do not have enough energy to heal you fully. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Cas. Just do what you can."

He heals her bullet wound but is unable to heal anything else. "You'll need rest and to have the rest cleaned up." Castiel tells her.

"I'll take care of her. Cas, can you bring the Impala to her apartment?" Dean says.

"Yes." the angel says and then disappears.

"What the hell was that?" Ryan asks.

"Castiel, an angel." Alexis says.

Ryan nods, slightly shocked.

"Okay, what the hell happened here?" Dean asks, lifting Alexis up in his arms.

"Demons. They took Jake, it was a trap for me… I should've known." she says, resting her head on Dean's chest. She was too tired to protest being carried.

"Let's just get you all out of here."

"Lex drove, so my car is back at the motel." Ryan says.

She begins to reach for the keys but Dean stops her, grabbing them from her pocket for her. "You need to move as little as possible. You're still bleeding." he tells her, handing the keys to Ryan.

Ryan drives back to the motel and Dean carries her in, setting her down on the bed. Some Bible peddler had stopped them outside, which was a little odd, but she didn't think too hard about it.

"You're going to need stitches, don't move." Dean tells her before going and getting the first aid kit she had in her car.

Ryan was already working on cleaning out her wounds while Dean got ready to stitch up two of them. Jake was bandaging the few that didn't need stitches.

"I'm sorry." she says.

"This isn't your fault, Lex." Jake says.

"They wanted me… it was a trap." she says.

"Hey, we're both fine, it's okay." Ryan says.

She just shakes her head, not responding further. She could barely feel Dean stitching her up, her mind was somewhere else. _What if more demons come after me and go after my mom and Jo? What if it doesn't stop until I'm dead?... I'm supposed to be dead… even Castiel, Chuck, those demons, and most of Heaven says so. _

The only thing that tore her from her thought was Dean snapping his fingers in front of her face, saying, "All done."

"Oh, thanks." she says.

He furrows his eyebrows in slight confusion and concern and asks, "You okay?"

"Fine." she responds.

"Well we're going to get going, you two just keep this room tonight, it's already paid for anyway." Ryan says.

"Okay. Be careful, guys." Alexis says.

"You too, Lex." Jake says.

The two leave and it's just Alexis and Dean.

"You need to get some rest." Dean says, moving to clean up some of the mess.

"I'm fine. Could you go get some food?" she asks.

"You're not fine and I'm not leaving you alone right now." Dean says.

"But-" she begins.

"I'll order a pizza, alright?" Dean says.

She nods, satisfied they'd at least be getting food.

* * *

After Dean hangs up the room phone, his cell phone rings. It was Castiel, who told him the Colt might still be in the possession of the demons. Dean told the angel to come tomorrow, he needed to rest and to get Alexis back to Chicago. A few minutes later, his phone rings again. This time it's Sam. She couldn't really tell what they were talking about until her name was mentioned.

"Look, Sammy, we'll talk about this tomorrow. I'm kinda with Lex right now and have to bring her back." Dean says.

She couldn't hear Sam's response clearly, just shouting, but judging by Dean's reaction, it was loud and angry.

"She's okay, she's right here." Dean says finally. Then he hands the phone to her.

"Sam?" she asks.

"Lex, what the hell happened? Are you okay?" Sam asks rapidly, clearly very concerned.

"I'm okay, Sam. It was a trap for me… I should've known. But I'm okay, you don't need to worry." she tells him, trying to calm him down.

"I shouldn't have let you go alone…" Sam says.

"Hey, it's not your fault. If it's anyone's, it's mine." she tells him.

Sam sighs and says, "You couldn't have known, Lex. It's not your fault either."

"Yeah, maybe. Well I'm pretty tired, I'll see you tomorrow." she replies.

"Okay, get some sleep. See you tomorrow, Lex." Sam says and then hangs up.

She hands the phone back to Dean and slumps down in the bed. She was pretty tired though she didn't want to admit it. Using her powers combined with being pretty seriously injured tired her out more than she liked. The pizza arrives soon after and the two eat while watching TV.

"Why did you show up?" she asks randomly.

"I was with Cas when you called him. He said you were in trouble and I told him to take me with him." Dean replies.

"Oh." she says.

"Yeah. Why don't you get some sleep now? You look tired and you do need to rest." Dean says.

The look on his face and tone of his voice told her there was no room for argument so she sighed and slid under the covers. Dean turns off the light and the TV and then gets into the other bed. Sometime during the night she heard Dean talking on the phone, it sounded like it was Sam, but she was to tired to say anything so she just rolled over and went back to sleep.

* * *

Sometime later, Dean is shaking her awake. "Lex, wake up." he says.

As soon as she looks around, she knows something is way wrong.

"What the hell?" she asks, getting out of bed, which no longer even had sheets on it.

The two of them walk towards the window and when they look out they see the town is completely desolate and destroyed.

"Again, what the hell?" she says.

"I don't know." Dean responds.

"Let's go out. Just stay with me and be careful not to pull any stitches." Dean then tells her.

She rolls her eyes and then follows him out the door. They start walking down the street, looking around at the remains of the town. Dean kept her right next to him and slightly behind him. He was being overprotective, but she couldn't blame him. They had no idea what the hell was going on. They hear a noise and head down an alley, where there seems to be a little girl. Dean approaches her, Alexis walking slightly behind him. The girl turns and attacks him but he knocks her out. Alexis walks over to him and when Dean turns around, his face pales. Alexis follows his gaze and finds the word _Croatoan_ spray-painted across a wall and garage.

"Oh crap." Dean says.

"What? What is it?" she asks, not recognizing the word.

Then a few people round the corner.

"No time. Run." he says, pushing her ahead of him.

They run, the other people on their asses, until they're cornered. A vehicle comes in with people shooting off rapidly.

Dean pulls Alexis down and away from view into some type of alley. "Okay, what the hell?" she asks once the gunshots stop.

Dean explains what he knew about the Croatoan virus and their encounter with it.

"Shit." she says once he finishes.

"I have no idea what is going on here, but it's bad. We should head to Bobby's." Dean says.

Alexis nods, not sure of a better plan herself.

Once night falls, they leave the area they were in and manage to get through the fence that they'd been cornered at earlier. Once on the other side of it they find a sign that says, _Croatoan virus hot zone. No entry by order of acting regional command. August 1st 2014. Kansas City._

"August 1st, 2014?" both Dean and Alexis question.

"Okay, seriously, what the hell?" Alexis adds.

"I have no idea." Dean responds.

Then he spots a car and manages to hot-wire it.

"To Bobby's?" she asks.

"To Bobby's." he responds.

Once on the road, Dean tries to use his cell phone only to find no service. Alexis reaches to turn on the radio only to get static.

"Great." she says.

"Croatoan pandemic reaches Australia." a voice says from the backseat.

Alexis and Dean turn to find Zachariah, who was handing them a newspaper. Alexis takes it from him while glaring.

"I thought I smelled your stink on this back to the future crap." Dean says angrily.

She flips through the paper, gaping at what she was reading.

"How did you find me?" Dean asks.

"The Bible dude outside the motel." Alexis says, now realizing why it had seemed so odd.

"Okay, good, great, you've had your jollys now send us back, you son of a bitch." Dean demands.

"Oh you'll get back, all in good time. At least you will, Dean." Zach says.

"You so much as touch her and I will kill you." Dean threatens.

Zach holds up his hands in defense and says, "Alright, alright. She'll die soon enough, she's supposed to."

Alexis reaches for the angel blade in her jacket, glad to find it was still there. She pulls it out and says, "You know, everyone keeps saying that."

"Put that thing away, would you? I'm not going to hurt you." the angel says, angling himself closer to Dean.

"You'll both get back, we just want you to marinate a little bit." Zachariah says.

"Marinate?" Dean questions.

"Three days, Dean. Three days to see where this course of action takes you." Zach says.

"What does that mean?" Dean asks.

"It means that your choices have consequences. This is what happens to the world if you continue to say no to Michael. Have a little looksee." Zachariah says and then disappears.

"Fuck." Alexis says.

"I swear to God if he tries to kill you I will kill him." Dean says, clearly not letting go the fact that Zach pretty much threatened her life.

"I think we have bigger problems right now, Dean. Whatever this is, we have to spend three days here. Three days without getting killed or this Croatoan virus. Let's just focus on that." she tells him.

Dean doesn't say anything and turns his focus back on the road. They get to Bobby's sometime the next day, only to find no one there. The house is destroyed, there's a tipped over wheelchair, and furniture and books everywhere.

"Where is everybody?" Dean says.

"I have no idea. But we have to find someone. Sam, Bobby, my mom, Jo, someone." she says.

Dean nods and walks over to the fireplace, removing the piece that Bobby used to hide some stuff behind. Inside was his journal, and inside the journal there was a picture of five men each holding a gun. One was Bobby, in his wheelchair, and one was Castiel. The others she didn't recognize. The sign next to them read, _Welcome to Camp Chitaqua._

"Guess we're going there next?" she says.

"Yeah. First let me check your stitches." Dean says.

"Seriously?" she asks.

"Yes, now come on." he says.

She pulls off her jacket so he can examine the two cuts on her arms that needed stitches.

"They should hold. Just try not to pull them. And keep your jacket on at all times. You don't want any visible wounds." Dean tells her.

She nods and slips her jacket back on. They then head for Camp Chitaqua. Sometime that night, the two arrive at the camp. They quickly reach a fence and through it Dean spots the Impala.

"Oh Baby no." he says.

Alexis follows his gaze and sees the state it's in. She grimaces slightly at the sight of it, knowing damn well how Dean felt about his car. It was his baby and you don't mess with Dean's baby, not unless you want to get killed. They manage to get in and of course Dean has to go check the Impala out.

"Oh no Baby what did they do to you?" he says once on the driver's side.

Suddenly a man appears and knocks them both out.

When Alexis wakes up she finds she's handcuffed to a pole near Dean, who was handcuffed to a ladder.

"Dean? You okay?" she asks.

"Fine, you?" he responds.

"Think so." she says.

That's when they spot the guy in the room. It was Dean, but it wasn't Dean. Alexis looks between to the two to make sure she was seeing correctly._ Two Deans? Future and present? _

"What the hell?" both Dean and Alexis question.

"I should be asking that question, don't ya think?" future Dean says and then adds, "In fact, why don't you give me one good reason why I shouldn't gank you both right here and now."

"Because you'd only be hurting yourself?" Dean responds.

If she could, she'd have smacked him.

"Very funny." future Dean says.

"Look man, we're no shape shifters or demons, or anything, okay?" Dean says.

"Yeah, I know. I did the drill while you two were out. Silver, salt, holy water, nothing. But you know what was funny? That you had every hidden lock pick, box cutter, and switch blade, that I carry. Now you wanna explain that? Oh and the resemblance and her while you're at it?" future Dean says.

The way he said 'her' sounded like he was angry. Future Dean would barely even look at her.

"Zachariah." Dean says.

Future Dean stands up and says, "Come again."

"I'm you and Lex is Lex from the tail end of 2009. Zach plucked us from a motel and threw us here." Dean says.

"Where is he? I want to talk to him." future Dean says, stepping closer to Dean.

_This is weird. No, this is beyond weird. There needs to be a better word than weird to describe this situation, _she thinks to herself.

"I don't know." Dean says.

"Oh, you don't know?" future Dean says.

"No, I don't know. Look, I just want to get back to my own freaking year, okay?" Dean says.

Watching Dean essentially argue with himself was slightly entertaining.

Future Dean bends down in front of Dean and says, "Okay, if you're me, then tell me something only I would know."

Dean pauses for a minute before saying, "Rhonda Hurley. We were uh, 19. She made us try on her panties. They were pink and satiny, and you know what? We kinda liked it."

Future Dean responds, "Touche."

Alexis couldn't hold it in anymore, she let out a laugh and says, "Oh I am so using that against you."

"You tell anyone and I'll deny it." Dean retorts.

She just smirks at him, satisfied that she could now blackmail him if it was needed.

"Now you." Future Dean says, turning to face her.

"What about me? If you believe him, you've gotta know I'm me too. Unless you'd like to bring future me in here to confirm." she says.

"Oh I know you're you." future Dean says angrily.

"Then what the hell is your problem?" Alexis asks.

"My problem is that there is no future you." future Dean says.

"Wh-what?" she asks.

"She's dead?" Dean asks.

"Yep." future Dean responds bitterly.

"If she's dead, why are you angry at her?" Dean asks.

"The reason things are the way that they are is because of her." future Dean says.

_How the hell could this be all my fault? Especially if I am dead by 2014? _

Future Dean turns away from her and changes the subject, speaking mainly to Dean now. "So what? Zac just zapped you up here to see how bad it gets?" future Dean says.

Alexis tunes out the rest of their conversation, trying to figure out what future Dean could've meant.

She does tune back in when Dean asks, "What about Sam?"

"Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn't make it." future Dean replies, shooting her a pointed look.

"You weren't with him?" Dean asks.

"No, no, me and Sam, we haven't talked in hell, almost five years, not since she died." future Dean says.

"Wait, five years? I die soon in my time?" she asks.

"That you do." future Dean tells her, still clearly angry at her.

"If I died five years ago, how the hell is this all my fault?" she asks.

"You killed yourself, Alexis. That's how." future Dean says bitterly.

She opens her mouth to say something but future Dean cuts her off, saying, "Don't try and tell me you wouldn't. You would. I can see it. I didn't then but I do now. Your mother and… and your sister, they both die and well, so do you shortly after."

"My-my mom and Jo die?" Alexis asks, not sure what to say.

Dean was just staring at her, completely shocked and seemingly trying to see what future Dean was seeing.

Future Dean nods and says, "And then you kill yourself. You died and left Sam alone."

"And we never tried to find him?" Dean asks, trying to take some of the blame off of Alexis.

"I had other people to worry about." future Dean says.

"Well then, this, Sam, none of this is entirely my fault. It's partly yours too. So be angry at me, hide the fact that you're angry at yourself. Whatever. Not like I'll be around much longer anyways, right?" Alexis snaps.

Dean looks between the two and attempts to change the subject by asking, "Where are you going?"

"I've got to run an errand." future Dean says.

"Woah, you're just going to leave us here?" Dean asks.

"Yes. I've got a camp full of twitchy trauma survivors out there with an apocalypse hanging over their head. The last thing they need to see is a version of The Parent Trap and a ghost. So yeah, you both stay locked down. And you," future Dean says, now turning to Alexis before continuing, "I didn't forget about your fun trick. I've got the key to yours." Future Dean then walks out, leaving the two of them handcuffed.

"Future you is kind of a dick." Alexis says.

"At least there is a future me." Dean says, his tone slightly bitter. The look on her face must have made him feel guilty because he adds, "I didn't mean that. Its just… suicide, Lex?"

"Can we not talk about this right now? Please? Let's just get back to our own time first." she says, not wanting to talk about this with Dean, in 2014, while handcuffed.

"Fine. But we are talking about it." Dean says.

"Whatever, let's just get out of these." she says, tugging slightly on the handcuffs. She feels a tear and realizes some of her stitches must have ripped in between being knocked out, handcuffed, and then pulled on. She tries to keep it cool, but her face must have given her away.

"What is it?" Dean asks.

"Think I pulled a few stitches." she says.

"Dammit. Don't move your arm. I'll get us both out, just hang on." Dean says.

"I can do it I have a bobby pin." she says, using her free hand to get it out of her back pocket.

"You keep a bobby pin on you? I didn't know that." Dean says, slightly surprised.

"I know you didn't. That's why it's still there." she says, working on her handcuffs.

Once she's out, she moves to get Dean out but he tells her he'll do it.

"Just let me do it. You go sit over there and get your jacket off." Dean commands.

"Fine." she says, handing him the bobby pin and walking over to where future Dean had been sitting earlier.

Once Dean is free, he finds the first aid kit and walks over to her.

"This one needs to be redone. Luckily future me keeps the same type of first aid kit." he says, pulling another chair up to her.

"You are not stitching me up while I'm sober. Future you has to have alcohol somewhere." she says.

"Fine. I'll grab you a beer." Dean says, getting up and walking over to the small fridge in the room.

"Beer? Weak." she says.

He hands her a beer and says, "Beer or nothing."

"Whatever. Just get it over with." Alexis replies, popping the cap on her beer.

"Dean?" she asks while he's cleaning the wound.

"What?" he responds.

"Future you said you and Sam never reconnected… You aren't planning on never hunting with him again, are you? I mean, even if I do die, would you really not go find Sam?" she asks.

"Honestly? I'm not sure I would've. But now, now, that's different. You are not dying, not if I have anything to say about it. When we get out of here, you and I are going back to Chicago and we're sticking together. This future is not coming true." Dean says.

"Okay." she says, wanting to talk further but not here, not now.

Once Dean finishes stitching her up, she slips her jacket back on and the two of them walk outside.

"Next time you tell me to do something and I don't do it, I'm going to remind you of this. You aren't even doing what you said." she tells him.

"You don't do what I say anyway." Dean replies.

"Fair point." she responds with a small laugh.

Just outside of the cabin they were in, someone approaches them. _Chuck._

"Hey, Dean." the prophet says.

Dean leans forward and whispers for her to keep walking before turning to face Chuck. She goes forward and ducks behind the cabin to wait for Dean. Dean asks Chuck about Cas and the prophet tells him where to go. So that's where the two of them headed next.

"Stay behind me, okay? We don't need anyone who would've known you freaking out." Dean tells her.

"Other than Chuck and Cas, I don't think anyone would recognize me, Dean." she says.

"Just do it, okay?" he says.

"Whatever. Let's just go in."

When they walk in, what they find is completely unexpected. Cas was almost unrecognizable. At first, she could only hear him as Dean stood at the door, blocking her from sight.

What she does hear is Cas say, "Why not go get washed up for the orgy."

At that, Dean takes hold of her arm to keep her from making a noise. "Stay here." he whispers before walking in. She didn't like being told what to do, but she listened anyway.

"What are you, a hippie?" Dean asks.

"Thought you'd gotten over trying to label me." Cas says.

"Cas, we gotta talk." Dean tells him.

"Woah, strange." the angel says, although she got the distinct feeling he was no longer an angel.

"What?" Dean asks.

"You are not you. Not now you anyway." Cas says.

"No, yes, exactly. Lex, come in." Dean says.

"Alexis? You must be from 2009 then." Castiel says as she steps into view.

"Hi, Cas." she says.

"It's um, it's nice to see you." Cas tells her.

"Alive, you mean?" Alexis says, stepping next to Dean.

"You know?" he asks.

"Yeah, I know." she says.

"Oh. Well, who did this to you?" Castiel asks, changing the subject. "Was it Zachariah?" .

"Yes." the two hunters reply simultaneously.

Instead of listening to the rest of the conversation, she walks around the cabin. She does pick up that Cas says he's no longer an angel. A bit later, they hear trucks arrive, meaning future Dean was back. Dean walks out but Cas asks her to stay back.

"Alexis? Can I speak with you?" he asks.

"Um, sure." she says, turning around and walking back towards the center of the room.

"What exactly do you know about why there is no future you?" he asks.

"I know that sometime soon my family dies and I kill myself. That's it." she says.

"I didn't notice it then with you, that you could even think about it. But I see it now. I see that you're just barely holding it together. But this future, Alexis, this future is horrible. You need to change it and you have the power to do so. I cannot tell you what happens to your family, but perhaps you can change their fates too. Even if you cannot, promise me you'll talk to someone, that you won't choose suicide. I know you and I were never all that close, but if you were to have called me then, I would've helped anyway I could've." Castiel tells her earnestly.

"Is this really all because of me?" she asks sadly.

"No, Dean had the opportunity to change this, but he didn't take it. You're both to blame." he says.

"I'll um, I'll try. But if Jo and my mom die, I don't know, Cas. I really don't know if I could survive that. What I can promise you is that I will try. That's the best I got. I don't like making promises I'm not sure I can keep." she explains.

"Alright. Well we should probably go find your Dean." Castiel says.

"My Dean? What so there's my Dean and your Dean now?" she asks jokingly.

"You know what I mean." he says with a lingering sad smile.

"What is it?" she asks.

"I think you and I could've been good friends." he says softly.

"Maybe we still will be." Alexis says.

"I wasn't going to say anything, but what do you know about Sam? Future him anyways." Cas says.

"What do you mean? Dean, this Dean, said he was gone, dead." she says sadly.

"Not exactly. Sit." the angel, well ex-angel, says, gesturing to his bed.

She sits down next to him and waits for him to continue.

"Sam is Lucifer's vessel." he says, point blank.

_No, no, no, no. Dammit. _"Dammit." she mutters.

"You knew?" he asks questioningly.

"No, I thought maybe he was because Dean was Michael's and Michael and Lucifer are brothers, but I didn't know for sure." she tells him.

"Well, after you die, Sam doesn't take it well. He goes off the deep end, eventually saying yes to Lucifer in Detroit." Cas explains.

"Fuck. Can I- can I stop it?" she asks.

"If you continue to live, I have a strong feeling that you can stop it or at least prolong it. The only chance you have at taking down Lucifer is if all three of you are together, well four I suppose if you count 2009 me. Together is the only way it will work, Alexis. It won't be easy, but I believe in you three, at least the 2009 versions." he says.

"Okay. Thanks, Cas. I'll do my best, I really will." she tells him truthfully.

Future Dean walks in a minute later and says, "You. With me. Now."

She nods a goodbye to Cas and walks over to Dean, the future one.

"Look, I haven't done anything yet. So could you stop being such a dick?" she says once they're outside.

Dean stops and turns to face her. "I'm going to say this and I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. You gave up, Alexis. Gave up without thinking what it would do to Sam, to me. You just ended it without so much as a phone call to one of us. You caused this, and so did I. You showing up right now has brought back a lot of stuff that I had buried. I didn't have the chance to be angry with you then, so I am now. Truthfully, seeing you hurts like hell, because now I see what I didn't then and I should've. After you died, I went back over everything that had happened with you and things you said made more sense to me, things you did. They were little things, but I didn't see it and I should have, I of all people should have. So you're right, I'm angry with myself too. I could've stopped this too. Had I just noticed it, not left you alone after your family died…" future Dean says.

And like that, this Dean became more like the Dean she knew right before her eyes. "It's not entirely your fault, Dean. Don't beat yourself up that much about it. Besides, I don't think it's going to happen now. Because 2009 you, my Dean, knows and there's no way in hell he's letting it go and not telling Sam. If… If my mom and sister do die, I can assure you there will not be a single second that I am left alone now, despite what I'll say." she tells him.

"I suppose you're right. Let's hope you are. Because this future, Alexis, this future sucks ass." future Dean says.

"I can see that. We'll stop it, or die trying. And Dean, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. The 2009 version of me that you knew, screwed up, and I'm sorry for what that did to you." she says, not really sure how to help this situation. This whole thing was beyond weird.

"God I miss you. Will you promise me something?" he says.

"Depends." she says.

"Right, you don't make promises you're not sure you can keep. Just promise me that if when you're back in your time, things get bad, that you'll talk to someone. Me, Sam, anyone. I would give anything to have you still here right now." future Dean tells her, sounding the most sincere she'd ever heard him sound.

"I promise." she says.

He lets out a sigh of relief and says, "Good. Now lets go."

The two of them walk in silence back to his cabin and inside meet Dean, 2009 Dean.

"Now that you're both back here, is it really that hard for you to listen? Stay in means stay in." future Dean says as Alexis walks over to Dean.

"Do I ever listen to you?" she asks.

"No." both Dean's simultaneously respond.

"Well then, you should've known better." she says with a smirk.

Future Dean just shakes his head. Then Dean asks what the mission was that future Dean had gone out on. Future Dean pulls out the Colt and says it took him five years to get it and tonight, he was going to kill the devil.

_Sam. That means he's going to kill Sam too._

Later that night, the two of them sit in on a meeting about finding and killing Lucifer. Alexis wasn't sure she wanted to see this, to see Lucifer in Sam and potentially see Dean, future Dean, kill him or vice versa. Future Dean lays out his plan, which truthfully, was terrible. Cas called it reckless and Alexis couldn't help but agree. Once Cas and the girl who's name Alexis didn't remember leave, Dean asks why future Dean is taking them with.

"You're both coming because I want you to see something." future Dean says.

"Sam." Alexis mutters.

Both of them stare at her for a minute before future Dean says, "I want you to see our brother, Dean." Future Dean then explains what Cas had already told Alexis.

"Do I need to see it?" she asks once he finishes.

"Yes. You both do. Because this is what happens because of you two. You need to see how bad it gets so you can do it different." future Dean says.

"What do you mean?" Dean questions.

"Zach said he was going to bring you back, right? To 09?" future Dean says.

"Yeah." Dean tells him.

"When you get back home, you say yes, you hear me?" Say yes to Michael." future Dean says, moving closer to Dean.

"That's crazy." Dean says.

"No, that's insane." she chimes in.

With the glare future Dean gives her, she decides she doesn't want to hear the rest of the conversation and walks outside.

When Dean walks out, she turns to say something but he stops her, saying, "Don't. We'll talk about this when we're back in 2009. Let's just get this over with."

She nods, knowing there was a lot they needed to talk about when they got back to their own time.

* * *

Around midnight, they leave to kill the devil. Alexis had a gut feeling this was not going to work, not one bit. Instead of riding with Dean and future Cas, she rides with future Dean.

"I know that this may be harder for you to see than even me, old me, but you need to see this, Alexis. Because if you see this, you can stop it from happening. Stay, no matter how hard it is, you stay. You fight whatever demons you have in your head and you keep living, if not for yourself, for Sam. Maybe, just maybe, you three can find a way to prevent this." future Dean tells her.

Alexis nods, not really sure what to say.

Sometime that morning they get there. Dean had pulled future Dean aside and when future Dean walks back without Dean, Alexis gets suspicious.

"What the hell?" she asks.

He walks close to her and whispers, "Now you either come with me, or I show you where Dean is and you stay there. You say anything and I will not hesitate to knock you out."

"What just happened?" Alexis asks, very confused.

"What's it going to be?" future Dean demands, ignoring her questions.

"With you I guess." she says.

Future Dean leads her a different way than the rest of the group and she put together what Dean knew. When they get where they were going, Alexis' blood runs cold. Seeing Lucifer in Sam was unimaginable and she vowed then and there that she would do absolutely anything to prevent that from happening. With ease, Lucifer kills future Dean, leaving her alone with the devil himself.

"Alexis. Not who I expected to see, seeing as you're dead. You and I never had the pleasure of meeting. I can see why Sammy here cared about you so much. Truly I must thank you, because without you, I wouldn't be here right now. By you killing yourself, you left Sam vulnerable, weak, alone, desperate. He said yes much more easily than I had anticipated." Lucifer says.

She couldn't speak, she couldn't form a single word. What could she say? There were no words to describe this situation let alone speak to the devil himself who happened to be inside of her boyfriend, five years into the future. Fucked up didn't begin to cover it.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" he asks, sauntering closer to her. He brings a hand to her chin and says, "Such a pretty face. It's a shame, really, I would've enjoyed having you around."

He may have looked like Sam, but he was the farthest thing from him. Suddenly, the devil's face contorts in what looked to be anguish.

"Well, Sam's love for you is stronger than I thought. He's still in here. He's fighting me. After all these years, he's fighting me. I suppose letting him speak couldn't do any damage." Lucifer says and like that, Sam becomes Sam again.

"Lex?" he asks. He sounded terrified, confused, and alone.

"Sam?" she responds.

"You're from 2009, you have to be. Whatever you do, do not kill yourself, you hear me? I can help you, Dean can help you. You just need to ask. Please. Save us all from this." Sam says desperately.

She didn't know what to say yet again, but she did know she felt like crying. Running into Sam's arms, letting him hold her, and crying. That was all she wanted right now.

Before her very eyes, Sam's face morphs back into being Lucifer. It was like someone flipped a switch.

Seconds later, Dean comes running in. "Hello, Dean." Lucifer says.

Dean immediately walks over to Alexis, standing slightly in front of her protectively. Not able to get what she'd just seen and heard out of her head, she tunes out the conversation between Dean and the devil.

What manages to snap her out of her mind was Dean saying, "You better kill me now, or I swear I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop."

Lucifer, who'd been walking away, had turned back around and now was walking back towards Dean. "I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael either. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here." Lucifer says.

Alexis had grabbed hold of Dean's arm, slightly to comfort herself but also to comfort him even a little bit.

"Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up here. I win… So I win." the devil continues.

She could see a tear fall down Dean's cheek and knew she wasn't far from crying either.

"You're wrong." Dean manages to say.

"See you in five years, Dean." Lucifer says and then disappears.

Dean turns around to face Alexis when Zach shows up and zaps them both back to the motel in Kansas City, in 2009.

"Oh, well if it isn't the ghost of Christmas screw you." Dean says once he gains some composure.

"Enough, Dean, enough. You saw it right? You saw what happens. You're the only person who can prove the devil wrong, just say yes." Zachariah says.

"And how do I know that this whole thing isn't one of your tricks, huh? Some angel hocus pocus?" Dean asks.

"The time for tricks is over. Give yourself to Michael. Say yes and we can strike… before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before billions die." the angel says.

Dean walks away so his back is to Zach and simply says, "Nah."

He turns back around as Zach repeats, "Nah? You're telling me you haven't learned your lesson?"

"Oh I learned a lesson alright, just not the one you wanted to teach." Dean says.

"Well I'll just have to teach it again." Zach says, raising his voice and stepping closer to Dean.

"I've got you now, boy, and I'm-" the angel was cut off.

In the blink of an eye, both she and Dean were no longer in the motel room.

"That was pretty nice timing, Cas." Dean says upon laying eyes on Castiel.

"We had an appointment." the trench coated angel says.

"Don't ever change." Dean says, laying a hand on Cas' shoulder.

She wasn't sure what it was, but something made her hug Cas. She threw her arms around him and could feel Castiel tense in confusion.

"It's a hug, Cas, just go with it." she says.

The angel hesitantly wraps his arms around her for a moment and then she steps back.

"What was that for?" Castiel asks.

"Doesn't matter." she responds, stepping back towards Dean.

"How did Zachariah find you?" Cas asks.

"Long story let's just stay away from Jehovah's witnesses from now on, okay?" Dean responds. A second later he adds, "We need to get back to Chicago, can you get her car? I want to drive."

She knew what that meant. The two of them were going to be doing some talking while driving to Chicago.

"Of course." Cas says and then disappears.

"You and I have a lot of talking to do." Dean tells her and then pulls her into a hug, this time it was her who was confused.

Dean wasn't a big hugger and really, neither was she. But somehow, she needed this right now and she knew he did too, so she wraps her arms around him and takes in the comfort of Dean's arms. She hadn't felt that sense of comfort since Matt.

A minute later, Alexis pulls back and says, "Let's go see Sam."

Dean nods and wraps an arm around her shoulder as Castiel appears with her Camaro.

* * *

Once in the car, Cas vanishes and Dean turns to her and says, "Alright, you know damn well what I want to talk about but I'm going to start with me first."

She nods and Dean pulls the car onto the road before speaking further.

"I don't care what future me said, I will not say yes to Michael. Not now, not ever. We're going to go back to Chicago and I'm staying with you two. We're hunting together again. If we want to beat the devil, we have to be together or it won't work. Last night, while you were asleep, Sam called. He told me that he was Lucifer's vessel but he didn't want me to tell you, he wanted to tell you in person. He wanted back in and I told him I wasn't sure that was a good idea, that we're better off apart. But I was wrong. We're not better off apart." he continues.

"Okay." she replies.

"Okay? That's it?" he asks.

"What else do you want me to say? I think even if I told you we shouldn't all be together, you wouldn't listen to me." Alexis says.

"What?" he responds.

"I do think we should be back together, but even if I didn't, you wouldn't listen. Because according to the future, my family dies soon. And I know damn well you will not leave me alone even for a second if that happens." she explains.

Dean then pulls the car over, even though they'd barely gotten anywhere.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"I cannot have this conversation with you while driving." he responds, putting the car in park and then turning to face her.

"You really would do it, wouldn't you?" he asks sadly, eyes searching hers.

"Honestly, Dean? With everything that's happened to me, with everyone that has told me I'm supposed to be dead, with me not really caring if I live or die, if my family, if my mom and Jo died, I think I could and potentially would have. But now, I know I can't. So, why talk about it?" she says, voice laced with sadness.

"Why talk about it? Because you have to want to live, Lex. If you don't… well you won't. Somehow, you'll die. Maybe not by your hand, but you will. If you lose the will to survive, you won't survive. You once told me you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. You have to want to be saved, Alexis." Dean tells her with a look she'd never seen in those green eyes of his. She couldn't get a read on it but it made her feel less alone, like she could and should talk to him.

"I don't know how to, Dean. I mean, most angels want me dead, demons just want me, Chuck, Cas, Zach, and others have all told me I'm supposed to be dead, so why am I not dead?" she says.

"What? When did Chuck or Cas tell you that you were supposed to be dead?" he questions.

"Soon after the thing with Lilith. After I died and came back to life _again._" she tells him.

"What can I do? To help?" Dean asks.

"I don't know. But I do know my mother and Jo are not dying if I have anything to say about it. Because if they die, Dean…. I don't know how I'll survive that… I really don't." she says, not wanting to think of a life without her mom and sister. She'd already lost her father and brother. She couldn't lose both of them too.

"Well, then we better make sure they don't die. But Lex… if they do, you'll have me and Sam. It won't be easy, but if you let us, we'll get you through it, okay? You just have to talk to us, let us help." he says, his eyes locked on hers.

"Okay… okay." she says.

"Good. Now let's get to Chicago. You should get some sleep." Dean says.

"Yeah, wake me up if you want me to drive." Alexis tells him, turning to face the window and get comfortable enough to sleep.

**-Dean-centric POV-**

Alexis didn't actually fall asleep for another two and a half hours, but neither of them spoke. He had turned to finally say something only to find she had fallen asleep. The future that they had just seen was not going to come true, not a chance in hell. He couldn't let it. Losing Lex for good would destroy both Sam and him. _I just want her to be okay but I don't know how to help, _he thinks to himself. With nothing but his own thoughts to keep him company on the drive to Chicago, he couldn't stop thinking about Alexis. Future him had pulled him aside and told him to watch Alexis like a hawk, go back over things she's said the past year and things that have happened to her, so that's what he was doing. Back in 07, the first time she died, could almost be considered suicide. She went off a bridge, on accident, in her car, but she didn't fight to get out, she gave up. He should've pushed her more then and there, because now, about a year and a half later, she's still struggling with wanting to live. Even before that, the accident with Zac, she'd always said it should have been her. And then everything with Kyle, losing both Sam and him, Lilith and dying again, now everything with the apocalypse. If she were to lose Ellen and Jo, he completely understood why she wouldn't want to live anymore. _She's so much stronger than most people give her credit for. But she can't give up, she just can't. _

He drives the rest of the way with Alexis asleep. Not having the heart to wake her up, he ends up carrying her up to the apartment. Having carried Sam before, Alexis felt like nothing in his arms. Sam greets him at the door, somewhat freaking out.

"Where the- is she okay?" his younger brother asks, walking up to him.

"She's just sleeping. She's fine. I didn't want to wake her up so I carried her." Dean says.

"Let me take her. I'll put her in bed." Sam says.

Dean nods and hands Alexis over to Sam before taking a seat on the couch in the living room.

A few minutes later, Sam walks out. "What happened to her? Why are her arms stitched up? And where the hell have you two been?" Sam asks rapidly.

"Slow down, Sammy. It's a long story, one she needs to be awake to help explain." Dean says.

"Well then I'll ask her when she wakes up. I guess you can go then." his brother says.

"What?" Dean asks, not sure he heard correctly.

"You said we were better off apart, so you can leave." Sam says, hurt evident in his voice and on his face.

"I didn't mean that, I was wrong. We need to stick together." Dean says.

"But-" Sam begins only to be cut off by the older Winchester, saying, "I was wrong, okay? I'm sorry. I'm uh, actually pretty tired too so I'm going to get some sleep. We'll all talk later."

Sam nods and says, "Okay."

With that, he gets up and walks towards the guest rooms.

* * *

**-Sam-centric POV-**

Around three hours after Dean went to bed, Alexis walks out of her room. As soon as her eyes land on Sam, she runs into him, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing for dear life. It was as if she hadn't seen him in months, not days.

"Woah, Lex, what's up?" he asks, trying to get her to loosen her grip slightly.

All she does is bury her head in his chest and squeeze even tighter.

"Hey, come on, what's going on?" he asks, not really able to do much other than wrap his arms around her.

It took him a minute to realize she was crying. He heard a sob and could feel her body start to shake. He had no idea what happened, which means he didn't know what to say so he settles on resting his head on hers and rubbing small circles on her back, just letting her cry. _She never cries, what the hell happened? _

After a few minutes she pulls back, wiping some of the tears off her face before saying, "Promise me you won't say yes to Lucifer. Not even if I die. Never."

_Woah, what? She knows? And what does she mean if she dies? What the hell? _"I told Dean I wanted to tell you." he responds.

"He didn't. It's a long story. Just promise me, please." she pleads.

"I promise. Now what happened? What's got you so upset?" Sam asks, his hands now on her shoulders.

"It's a long story, one I need Dean for." Alexis replies.

"Okay... then can you at least tell me what happened with Ryan and Jake?" he asks.

She nods and then walks over to the couch, gesturing for him to follow. Once they're both seated, she begins to explain. "Well um, it ended up being a trap. Demons. A lot of them. They had Jake and then got the jump on both Ryan and I. By the time I woke up, they had us all tied to chairs. Me more so than Ry and Jake so I'm guessing word about my powers is really getting around. They were going to kill them and then probably me too. I was able to get Ryan loose, who then got us out. We were still outnumbered and all got pretty beat up. I remembered the charm I had with the exorcism on it and pressed it, but uh, one of the demons had saw and aimed a gun at me, firing just as I pressed the button. It would've killed me so I called out for Castiel. Dean happened to be with him so they both appeared. I made Cas heal Ryan and Jake first before me so he couldn't heal me entirely, hence these." she says, gesturing to the cuts that were stitched up on her arms.

"Jesus, Lex. I should've gone with you…" he says.

"No, they'd have gotten you too." she says.

"That's not what had you so upset. What else happened?" he asks, truly trying to find out.

She shakes her head and says, "I need Dean for that."

Before Sam could say anything else, Dean walks in.

"Well now you're both up. Can you two please explain what's going on?" Sam asks.

Alexis and Dean share a look before both nodding. Dean grabs a seat across from them and Alexis angles herself so that she's more facing him than Dean.

"So what happened was Zachariah managed to find us at the motel we'd stayed in. He sent us into the future." Dean begins.

"August 4th, 2014, to be exact." Alexis adds.

"What? Why?" Sam asks, completely lost. _With the way they've both been acting, five years into the future has to be really bad. _

"Well I don't think he'd planned on Lex being there, but he sent her anyway. To show us where this path leads." Dean says.

"Path?" Sam questions.

"Dean not saying yes to Michael, but it's also where being apart from you leads." Alexis explains.

"We weren't together in the future?" Sam asks.

The two get a weird look on their faces as Dean says, "No, um, hadn't been for five years."

Sam didn't know what to say. He couldn't imagine being apart from his brother for five whole years.

"When we woke up, we found that there was a Croatoan outbreak. It was everywhere. We headed to Bobby's which lead us to a place called Camp Chitaqua. Once there, we kind of both got knocked out by Dean, future him anyways. When we woke up, both handcuffed to something, it took a bit of convincing to get that Dean to believe we were from 2009. Once he believed what Dean said, he turned to me." Alexis says.

"And when he, well me, turned to her, he was pretty angry. We didn't know why, not at first. But he said that he knew Lex was who she said she was because there was no future Alexis." Dean continues.

_No future Lex? What does that mean? She's…. dead in five years? _"Wh-what?" Sam asks, hoping they'd say she just wasn't there for some reason and not dead.

"From where we were in the future, she'd been dead almost five years." Dean says.

"Five years? But… that's- that's like now… h-how?" Sam asks. _She can't die, she just can't. Not for good. _He catches another look between the two of them and sees Alexis cast her eyes downward, as Dean's grow slightly somber. "How?" Sam repeats, not entirely sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"Suicide." Dean says almost inaudibly.

"Wha-what?" Sam asks, sure he couldn't have heard correctly.

Dean averts his eyes so Sam looks to Alexis and says, "Lex?"

She nods sadly, not looking him in the eye.

"No, no… wh-why?" he asks, not at all understanding.

"I guess um, in this future… uh my family dies soon and well, I guess…. I just couldn't take it." Alexis says.

Dean must have sensed that neither of them knew what to say because he continues, "Well, after that. Future me explained a bit about the future… and you."

"Me? What about me?" Sam asks, allowing the subject of Lex to drop temporarily but vowing to talk to her about it later.

"His words were that you were gone, there was a showdown in Detroit and that was it." Dean says.

"Gone? Dead?" he questions.

"No. Essentially, yes, but no." Dean says.

"Um, what?" Sam asks, his voice laced with confusion. His older brother wasn't making any sense.

"At some point, in Detroit, you say yes to Lucifer. That's what future Dean meant by gone. But you weren't dead. You were still in there. I saw it." Alexis says.

"Wait, what do you mean you saw it?" Dean asks, turning his head to face her.

_I say yes? That's why she made me promise not to… even if she was dead. Dammit. _

"Well, after future you knocked you out, he gave me a choice. Go with him quietly, or join you in unconsciousness. I went with him and uh, after Lucifer killed future you, it was just me and well, the devil for a few minutes." Alexis says, it was clearly new information to Dean too.

"What did he say?" Dean asks.

"It uh, it doesn't matter." she says. Her tone and facial expression made it obvious she didn't want to talk about it but Dean either didn't notice or didn't care.

"What did he say?" Dean repeats, more firmly this time.

"Dean..." she says.

"Alexis." his older brother responds.

"Look, it really doesn't matter. He did say something about how Sam's love for me was stronger than he expected because Sam was fighting him. He uh, then said, 'I suppose letting him talk couldn't do any damage.' Then, just like that, it was Sam again. Just for a minute, Sam had control." she says, this time her tone made it clear she wasn't going to say anything more about it.

Dean explains the rest but Sam couldn't really focus on it, he wanted to, no, he needed to, talk to Alexis alone.

Dean finishes by saying, "Well I think I'm going to head out and get some food. I'll be back later."

* * *

Once Dean is out the door, Alexis stands up and walks into the kitchen area, clearly not wanting to have the conversation they were about to have. But this, this wasn't something he was going to drop, so he follows her.

"Lex, we need to talk." Sam says, leaning against the counter.

"I know." she responds, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. "There's not much you can say that Dean hasn't already said though." she adds, now walking back to the couch.

Getting her to talk about something she didn't want to talk about could be incredibly difficult. And typically, anything involving talking about herself, was something she didn't want to talk about. "I don't care, you're going to hear it from me too." he tells her, following her back to the couch.

"Sam, look, I know that I can't kill myself, alright? Even if I'd want to, I know I can't. So what does it matter?" she says, reaching for the remote.

He stops her, taking her hand in his instead. She looks up, locking eyes with him, and what he sees makes his heart hurt. He'd seen sadness and hopelessness in her eyes before, but not like this. What he saw was fear, disparity, and utter hopelessness. The way she even just talked about suicide made him cringe. _How can she just talk about ending her life as if it was nothing? How, after all this time, can she still not care if she lives or not? _

"That's not the point, Lex." he says.

"Then what is?" she asks.

"The point is you shouldn't want to- you shouldn't want to commit suicide." Sam tells her, barely able to get the sentence out. The thought of it made him want to cry and yet she could say it without hesitation.

"I didn't say that." she responds, averting her eyes.

"You didn't deny it either." he replies.

"The way you and Dean are talking about it is as if I'd do it right now. Maybe… maybe right now I don't care all that much if I die or not, but I wouldn't kill myself. But if Jo and my mom die, then yeah… I think I would have, if I didn't know what I do now." Alexis says.

Realizing this path wasn't going to get him anywhere, he asks, "Lex, what did future me say to you?"

She shakes her head, her eyes still avoiding his.

He gently brings a hand to her chin, lifting her head up and her gaze back on him as he asks, "Please?"

She nods slightly and begins, saying, "He, future you, um just kind of begged me not to do it. To let you or Dean help. Save everyone from that particular future."

"You should listen. Let me help you, Lex." Sam tells her.

"How?" she asks.

"I don't know yet, but you've gotta let me try. Please. Just let someone help you. It doesn't have to be you against the world, Alexis. I know you've let me in a lot more since we met, but you've gotta let me all the way in. Talk to me, about everything. No secrets, no hiding, or it won't work." he says, pleading with her to just let him help her. He honestly didn't know what he'd do if he lost her and he didn't want to have to find out.

"But I don't know how…" she says sadly, her eyes getting watery.

"Just talk to me. I can help, but I've got to know what's going on inside your head, okay?" he says.

"Okay." she says, her voice breaking slightly.

"Come here." Sam says softly, opening his arms. She slides over and he pulls her onto his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "We'll figure everything out, together, okay? You are not alone." he says soothingly.

She nods and rests her head on his chest, relaxing in his arms. "Thank you." she says quietly, closing her eyes as a tear escapes.

_Twice in a day? This has definitely been eating at her. _"You know I'd do anything to help you." he says, resting his chin on her head.

She nods and the two of them just sit there in silence until Dean returns.

* * *

_A/N: This chapter took me so long to write. Ironically, I began writing it on August 4th, 2014, the exact day Dean is sent to. I swear I didn't plan it, it just worked out that way. I hope these past few chapters haven't seemed like one bad/sad thing after the other to you, I'm trying to get off of that, but I felt this was crucial, especially for the upcoming episodes. *cough* season five,episode ten *cough* Anyways, I'm going to be insanely busy the rest of the month, so there may only be another two chapters, hopefully three, before September. This took me three days, three days in which I didn't do much other than write. So it's going to take longer from now on. Let me know what you think about the chapter!  
I also realized that back when Bobby was in the hospital, Cas said he was cut off from Heaven and could not heal. I have since then made Cas be able to heal without realizing he shouldn__'t have been able to. I don't know how to fix that so I'm going to go with him not being able to heal as fully as he could previously, like not being able to heal paralysis. _

_(Side note, this is my longest chapter! 11k+ Took me a while, but I'm proud of it.)_


	30. What Now?

_A/N: I do sort of cover a lot here, including Changing Channels. I realize that the boys knowing the Trickster is Gabriel changes things and made the episode harder to do, but I think I changed it well enough. Anyway, hope you like it!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 30: What Now?**

Dean returns about fifteen minutes later with a bag of food, something for everyone. After they each take a seat at the counter, Alexis in between the two brothers, Sam says, "So… what now?"

"We find a way to kill the devil." Dean responds.

"You make it sound so simple." Alexis says.

"I wish it were." Sam chimes in.

"Well, before we do that, can we um, go see my mom and Jo? If-if they're supposed to die soon… I want to at least warn them. Stop it from happening if I can." she says.

"Of course we can." Sam says, softly squeezing one of her hands with one of his.

"No Harvelle is dying, not if I have anything to say about it." Dean says reassuringly.

"Okay." Alexis says softly while nodding.

"Everything's going to be okay, Lex. You won't lose either of them." Sam tells her.

"Yeah, I hope you're right." she replies, grabbing a fry and dipping it in her milkshake.

"I still don't understand how you like that." Dean says, pointing to the fries and shake.

"It's good!" she exclaims.

"So you say." Dean says, shaking his head.

The three spend the rest of the day not doing much of anything. Alexis had called her mother to make sure she and Jo would be at the roadhouse and all three of them had made sure their bags were packed, but other than that, they did very little. They all went to bed by eleven, but once it was a quarter to one and Alexis still wasn't asleep, she rolls out of bed and walks out onto the terrace. She stood out there just thinking about things for twenty minutes until Sam walks out.

"You know it's one in the morning, right?" he says, walking over to her.

"Yeah, I know." she responds, looking up at the stars in the sky.

"What are you doing out here then?" Sam asks.

"Just thinking." she says.

"About?" he questions.

"Nothing." she says, realizing after she'd said it that that didn't make sense.

"Dammit, why is it so hard for you to just talk to me sometimes?" Sam says, clearly having had enough of her shrugging things off and not wanting to talk.

"Sam-" she begins only to be cut off by him.

"No, you said you were going to let me help you. And that means talking to me, Lex. I can't help if I have no idea what's going on in your head." he says firmly.

"I just don't know how to. I'm just not…." she trails off, really not sure what to say. She could speak perfectly fine about just about anything, but for some reason, when it came to talking about herself, her feelings and thoughts, she struggled to string together a sentence.

"Just not what?" Sam asks, his tone softer than it had been.

"I'm just not used to people caring what's going on in my head. All my life, no one cared enough to ask, not really. They'd accept the typical 'I'm fine' when they asked how I was and not push any further. But you, you and Dean, you see right through it and push me on it, and I just- I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry." Alexis says, tripping over her words slightly.

Sam smiles sadly at her, seeming to understand what she meant. "It's okay. You just gotta try, okay? Even if what you say doesn't completely make sense, I'll know what you're thinking and we can go from there." Sam tells her, taking hold of one of her hands.

"Okay." she says.

"Okay. Then what were you thinking about out here?" he asks.

"I don't know, a lot. I mean, seeing that future, Sam, weird doesn't even begin to cover it. There was no me, no Harvelle at all actually, and there was no you, not really. A future without my family and without you is not a future I ever want to see. But… what if I have to? What if Lucifer gets to you, Sam? What if my family does die?" Alexis says, her voice starting to shake.

"Lucifer isn't going to get to me. I promise you that I'm not going anywhere, alright? And your family, well, we'll do our best to make sure they don't die, but if they do… if they do, you still have me and you still have Dean, we'll get you through it." Sam says, squeezing her hand a little tighter.

"Then… then what if Lucifer kills me to get to you?" she asks.

The look on Sam's face tells her he hadn't thought of that. "He won't." Sam says after a minute.

"You don't know that." she replies.

"I won't let him hurt you, Lex. He'd have to kill me first and he can't kill me, he needs me alive." he says.

Even though she knew he couldn't promise that, because Lucifer could get to her if he truly tried, the look of determination on his face made her feel slightly better, so she nods, not pushing it further.

"This whole apocalypse things sucks a lot, but we'll get through it. We always do." Sam tells her. "It's late, why don't we go back inside?" he adds a minute later.

Alexis nods and turns for the door.

Once they're both back in, she walks towards the door leading into the living room.

"You're not going back to sleep?" Sam asks her.

"No." she says, turning to face him.

"Lex, it's after one in the morning. You should sleep." Sam tells her, his voice laced with concern.

_I can't tell him I'm not tired without him becoming overly concerned… He worries too much sometimes, _she thinks to herself. "I can't, alright? I just can't, not right now, not after these past few days." she tells him and then walks towards the kitchen.

To her surprise, Sam follows her. "What are you doing?" she asks him as she walks over to the fridge.

"Well if you're not going to sleep then neither am I." he tells her, sitting down at the counter.

"Sam." she says.

"Alexis." he responds, matching her tone.

"You look tired, you should sleep." she adds.

"So should you." he replies.

"I can't, I mean it. But just because I'm not going to sleep doesn't mean you shouldn't either." she says, moving to take out the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies.

"Bake whatever it is you're baking and then try to at least get a few hours of sleep, please? For me?" Sam asks her, using his puppy dog eyes on her.

Typically, she could resist them, but it was late and well, Sam was Sam, so she relented. "Fine." she tells him.

"Good." Sam says and then walks back into the bedroom.

About hour and three dozen cookies later, Alexis walks back into the bedroom. She couldn't quite tell if Sam was asleep so she just slipsquietly into the bed. As soon as she does, Sam pulls her close to him, wrapping an arm protectively around her. _So he is awake._

"Just try to sleep. You're safe with me and I'm here if you have any nightmares, okay?" he tells her, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Okay." she says, laying her head on his chest.

A few minutes later, she ends up falling asleep. Unfortunately, she was awake in less than three hours. She ended up getting out of bed around 5:30 and going out and actually making breakfast. By the time Sam walks out, she had made pancakes, waffles, and bacon, and was sitting reading a magazine.

"How long have you been up?" he asks, taking in all of the food.

"About an hour and a half." she replies.

"But you didn't even fall asleep until nearly three." Sam says, grabbing a plate and beginning to pile some food on it.

"I told you I couldn't sleep." she says, looking back to her magazine.

"You should have woken me up." he says, now walking back to sit next to her.

"Are you going to eat anything?" he asks her.

"Not hungry." she responds.

"You didn't eat much last night." Sam says, now looking at her with slightly concerned eyes.

"I know, but I'm not hungry. I'll just eat whenever we stop for lunch on the road." she says. She hadn't really been feeling like herself lately, really not since Lilith and dying a second time. But then there was everything with Kyle, being away from hunting for a bit, the apocalypse, Sam being Lucifer's vessel, her family supposedly dying soon, nothing seemed right anymore.

"What's going on with you?" Sam asks, having completely abandoned his plate and was now staring at her, clearly worried.

"I'm fine." she says, wanting him to stop asking her about herself. She knew he was just worried, but couldn't they just have a normal conversation for once?

"You're not fine and you haven't been for a while." Sam says.

"Can we just not do this right now please? I don't want to talk about myself anymore." Alexis tells him, her eyes pleading with him to just drop it.

"Fine, but I do have something I want to say to you." he says.

The tone in his voice makes her turn her chair towards him, locking eyes with his.

"What is it?" she asks.

"I wanted to tell you I forgive you for leaving back when demons were after you." Sam says.

"Sam… you don't have to…" she says, trailing off. She didn't know what to say, they hadn't really talked about it much. He definitely didn't have to forgive her and she wasn't sure she deserved his forgiveness anyway.

"No, I do. Because I understand now. Part of me wants to leave, get as far away from both you and Dean as I can to try and protect you now that I know I'm Lucifer's vessel. I get why you left, and I'm not mad at you for it, not anymore. It hurt, it hurt like hell, Lex, but I know why you felt like you had to. And maybe I should leave to protect you, but I can't. I can't do that to myself right now and I can't do that to you. They way you hurt me… I can't do that again." he explains.

"You know how badly I feel about that. If I could've seen another way-" Alexis says but Sam cuts her off, saying, "I know. And you've apologized more than enough times. But this whole thing… Am I doing the right thing? Are we?"

"I don't know if there is a right thing to do here." she replies.

Sam nods sadly and turns back to his food.

_This whole situation is horrible. _"I'm not even supposed to be here…" she mutters to herself.

"What?" Sam asks, having heard her despite how quietly she said it.

She was about to say that it was nothing, but the look on his face told her he wouldn't buy it anyway. "I'm not even supposed to be here." she repeats, loud enough so Sam could hear it clearly.

He turns back to her and says, "Would you stop saying that? You are supposed to be here."

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean I'm literally not supposed to be here, at all. No human was ever supposed to have angel grace in them but Gabe knew I'd die in all of this very early on so he did it anyway, hoping to keep me alive and give me a fighting chance. I've been told by more than one person that I was supposed to have stayed dead when you killed Lilith and me. Had I not had the angel grace, I'd probably have died before you even met me actually." she explains, not having really told anyone this before.

"Wait, what?" he asks, somewhat confused.

"Well, remember that time shortly after the fire that we'd gone down to Missouri's? And then we'd stopped at a motel on the way back and that night I kinda freaked you out by disappearing for a bit?" Alexis begins, realizing she'd kept quite a bit of secrets from them before they knew angels existed.

"Yeah… you said you'd gone for a drive." Sam says hesitantly.

"Well uh, I hadn't. I had asked Missouri what'd she'd known about there potentially being angels. Long story short, she gave me the blade I have now and something called holy oil. I did some research and found a summoning chant that would summon an archangel." she begins, pausing to collect her thoughts. "Well when I slipped out of the motel that night, that's what I did. I got him to tell me how I got my powers. After threatening him, he told me they were from angel grace, his to be exact. He said he did it because you two were going to come into some deep shit with heaven and hell and I'd get caught in the middle, killed in the crossfire. Now I see what he meant by that. He also told me he thought maybe angel grace would give me a fighting chance, a possibility of living through all of this." Alexis continues, pausing once again. "But what I really meant by I'm not supposed to be here is that I wasn't supposed to have the angel grace, and had I not, I'd be long gone. The time I discovered my telekinesis was on a hunt. Vamps, actually. I was on my own and the last one had gotten the jump on me, would've killed me too, or turned me. I managed to get my machete off the ground with my mind and kill her, much to my surprise. I'd have died then and there without it, never having even met you and Dean." she finishes.

"You summoned an archangel alone? And you weren't even sure it would work? Do you have any idea how badly that could've turned out?" Sam says, a hint of anger in his voice.

"I know… I just had to, okay? I'm sorry I couldn't tell you, I hated, _hated, _lying to you about it, but he made it clear you and Dean weren't supposed to know angels existed yet. Not then." Alexis tells him.

Sam nods and says, "I'm going to go take a shower."

"What? Sam-" she begins, but he cuts her off.

"Don't, Lex. If we continue talking about this, about the times you lied to me because of Gabriel, I'm going to get mad and we'll get into a fight, and I don't want to fight with you. So just drop it, alright?" Sam insists.

Alexis nods and watches him walk into the bedroom.

An hour later, the three of them were on the road and headed towards Harvelle's Roadhouse.

* * *

The three hunters ended up spending a week and a half with Ellen, Jo, Arizona, and Ellie. They'd filled the other two Harvelles in on the trip to the future and warned them about what was supposed to happen soon. When Dean had found another hunt, Alexis realized she didn't want to leave. She couldn't leave, not knowing something was supposed to happen to her family very soon. So the night before they were supposed to leave, Alexis finds Sam and Dean in Arizona's living room.

"Um, guys?" she says, walking over to them.

They had been arguing over what TV show to watch but as soon as they hear her, both brothers stop and turn to her.

"What's up?" Sam asks, scooting over so she can sit next to him.

"I'm not coming with you tomorrow." Alexis says.

"What?" both of them respond.

"I want to stay with my family a little longer, just to be sure. If they go on any hunts, I'll go with them. I just… I can't leave them right now." she explains, hoping they'd both understand.

"We can stay too." Sam says, obviously not wanting to leave her alone.

"No, no. You guys go, do some hunts, and we'll meet up in a few weeks, okay? Besides, you two have some things you need to work out anyway." she tells them.

"I don't know if it's a good idea to leave you right now, Lex." Dean says.

"I'll be fine. We can't all just stay here waiting for something to happen. We need to start hunting again, figuring out what we're going to do with the looming apocalypse. Go without me." she says. She could tell neither of them wanted to leave her because they were scared that if they did, they might not see her again. The last time all three of them were apart for more than a day, Alexis had died.

"Fine. But if something, anything, goes wrong, you call us, you got that?" Dean says, finally relenting.

"I will. But I'll be okay, I promise. It won't be long, just another few weeks." she says. Both Winchesters nod and Alexis decides she's just going to go to bed so she stands up and says, "I'm going to bed, goodnight."

When she reaches the room she and Sam had been staying in at Arizona's she just collapses on the bed. These past few days had been great, seeing her family, Arizona, Ellie, and having both brothers here, but she felt like she was just waiting for the bomb to go off, and that was frustrating.

"Lex?" she hears from the doorway a minute later. It was Sam. She knew that just by the sound of his feet walking down the hallway, so she didn't even look up. Seconds later, Sam is by her side on the bed, as she felt it sink down under the new weight.

"You okay?" he asks her.

She was still face down on the bed and didn't feel like moving.

"No." she responds, the word slightly muffled by the bed.

"Talk to me then, what's wrong?" Sam asks gently, trying not to push her.

He had definitely been trying to get her to talk more, and even though it annoyed her slightly, she knew it was just because he cared and wanted to help anyway he could. So she sits up, resting her head on his shoulder, and says, "I just feel like I'm waiting for the last pin to drop, for the bomb to go off, and I can't seem to do anything about it."

Sam wraps an arm around her and says, "I know what you mean and it sucks. But do you think staying here is really the best idea? I mean, what if whatever is supposed to happen happens and you get killed too?"

He sounded genuinely scared, which wasn't something she was used to hearing in his voice. Sam typically tried to hide it better, but not now. "What if something happens and I could've stopped it? Sam, I can't leave them, I just can't. I know you're scared and I know you're worried, but you've got to let me stay. I have to." she tells him, now wrapping one of her arms around him. When she looks up and still sees hesitation in his face she adds, "What if it was you? What if your mom, or dad, was still alive and you knew something was supposed to happen to them and Dean? Would you be able to leave them?"

"No." he says, now sounding like he completely understood.

"Dammit, I just don't want you to get hurt. I want to keep you safe… but I can't, not completely." he adds, sounding frustrated with himself.

"I know you don't, but you've got to trust that I'll look after myself, because you can't be by my side 24/7 as much as you maybe would like to." Alexis tells him, now angled so that she was looking him in the eye.

"Will you? Look after yourself?" he asks her, his voice laced with uncertainty.

"I will." she says, knowing it was what he needed to hear. As much as he'd been working on getting her to value her life more, if it came down to saving her family or herself, she'd save her family.

"Promise me." Sam says.

"I promise I'll look after myself." she tells him, intending to keep that promise to the best of her abilities.

Sam sighs and says, "Okay, only for a few weeks, right? Then you'll come back and hunt with us?"

"Only for a few weeks." Alexis assures him.

"Okay, okay." he says.

A few minutes later, the two end up going to bed. That morning, with some reluctance, Sam and Dean head out on a hunt, leaving Alexis with Arizona and her family.

* * *

For another week, Alexis just stuck around the roadhouse with her mom and Jo, but one Thursday, Jo walks in saying she'd found a hunt not too far away.

"Where at?" Alexis asks her sister.

"Yankton, South Dakota." Jo replies, taking a seat next to Alexis at the bar.

"Okay, let's do it. Then we can stop and see Bobby, I haven't seen him in a while." Alexis says.

"Really? You're not going to try and convince us to stay here?" Jo asks, sounding as if she was prepared for some resistance.

"Wouldn't work, would it?" Alexis says.

"Probably not." Jo says with a small smile.

"So what do you got on the hunt?" the younger Harvelle asks.

Jo shows her the info and then the three Harvelles pack up and head off towards Yankton.

"So we're thinking werewolf?" Ellen asks as the three walk into their motel room.

"It looks like it, and the lunar cycle is right." Jo says, flopping down on the bed.

"Then lets get this show on the road." her mother says, setting her bag down.

The group had split up, Ellen went to do some more research while Jo and Alexis went to do interviews. By nighttime the next day, they'd figured out who the werewolf was. Now all they had to do was kill it and the hunt would be finished.

Around eleven, the three head out and manage to track the werewolf to what was unfortunately, a heavily wooded area. Since there were three of them, it wasn't very difficult to corner to werewolf and kill him. Jo, who had made the kill shot, and Ellen, were just in front of Alexis. The two were walking towards the body when Alexis spots some movement in the trees just in front of them. And like that, another werewolf was lunging towards Jo and her mother.

"Look out!" Alexis shouts, her gun immediately at the ready.

She fires just as the werewolf is about to reach her family. Then she hears movement again and whirls around only to be knocked forcefully backwards by yet another werewolf. Thankfully, Jo was already on her feet and shoots at the werewolf, getting it to turn back towards her and away from Alexis. Jo fires a second time, killing the third werewolf. Ellen and Jo both run over to Alexis, who was slumped rather oddly against a tree. Her vision was a bit spotty and she could feel blood pouring out of what had to be a scratch wound from the werewolf on her shoulder.

"Shit, Lex, hang on. We'll get this patched up." Jo says, already applying pressure to her shoulder.

Alexis shakes her head and calls out for Castiel. She didn't want to have to explain three very deep scratches on her shoulder to the boys.

Seconds later, a slight flap of wings are heard and Castiel appears, startling both Ellen and Jo. "Alexis, what happened?" Cas asks, glancing around and quickly walking over to her.

"Werewolf, it's not too bad but could you heal it? I'd rather not have Sam and Dean see this and flip out."

"Of course." the angel says, bending down next to her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Alexis feels the familiar sensation of being healed and relaxes, knowing all three of them were safe for now.

"Why are they staring at me?" Castiel asks once he's finished.

"Oh, that's because they haven't seen an angel before. Mom, Jo, this is Castiel, the angel we've all told you about?" Alexis says, allowing Cas to help her up.

Castiel looks around again and asks, "You three took out three werewolves?"

"We uh, didn't know it was three at first, but yeah." Alexis tells the angel, who actually looked somewhat surprised. "Thanks, Cas. You can go now." she adds a minute later.

The angel nods and disappears, leaving Alexis with two rather speechless family members. The three Harvelles walk back to the car in silence since Cas had taken care of the bodies for them.

"Lex, had you not come, I don't think we would have made it out of there. I think… that was whatever was supposed to kill us." Jo says once they're in the car.

"I think so too." Alexis responds, everything that had just happened fully sinking in.

"Damn." all three mutter at the same time.

Once they get back to the motel, they decide to spend the night and head to Bobby's the next morning.

Bobby was happy to see them and insisted they stay the night. While Ellen, Jo, and Bobby were playing some card game, and drinking, Alexis called Sam since she hadn't had the time to after the hunt.

"Hey." Sam answers after a few rings.

"Hi." she responds, slipping into the basement unnoticed. She hadn't been down to her hidden room in a while and kind of missed it.

"Everything okay?" he asks her as she walks into the room.

"I think I know how my family was supposed to die. It kind of just almost happened last night." Alexis tells him, sitting down on the bed.

"What? What happened? Are you okay? Are Ellen and Jo okay?" Sam asks, rapidly firing questions at her.

"Slow down, we're all fine." she tells him.

"Okay, what happened?" he asks, sounding less worried now.

Alexis explains everything about the hunt and waits for Sam to respond.

He was silent for a minute but then says, "Damn."

"I know. But I think now… they should be okay and I can come join you guys again." she says. She was actually getting anxious to be back with them, she didn't like being apart from the Winchesters for so long, especially with angels and demons after them both.

"Good. Well we just finished up a hunt in Ohio. I uh, I chopped off Paris Hilton's head." Sam tells her.

"What?" Alexis asks, positive she had misheard him.

"It was a Leshii, and when I killed it, it looked like Paris Hilton." he explains.

Alexis laughs and says, "Did you really hate House of Wax that much?" It was the only movie that Paris Hilton was in that she could think of.

"Funny. So where do you want to meet back up? Chicago?" he says, changing the subject.

"Yeah, that works. We're all going to stay the night at Bobby's so I'll head out tomorrow morning. The car I'd been working on forever here is done so I'll just take that and leave it in Chicago, since Zac's car isn't there anymore." Alexis says.

"Okay, see you soon then." Sam responds.

"Yep, see you soon. Love you." she tells him.

"Love you too." he replies and then hangs up.

Alexis walks back upstairs, rejoining her family and Bobby.

The next morning, she takes her finished VW beetle, her punch buggy, and heads towards Chicago.

* * *

Once Alexis meets back up with the Winchesters, they continue hunting. For the first time in months, all three of them were back hunting together. They'd encountered the actual Antichrist, who ended up being an eleven-year-old boy named Jesse. They'd also ended up on a hunt with Bobby involving a game of poker that played with life. Depending on how you played, you either gained or lost years on your life.

The case they were currently investigating involved a man whose head had been ripped clean off, in his bedroom, after having been chased through the woods and up the stairs of his house. Alexis had just walked in the motel room and sees that Dean was watching something on TV.

"Seriously? Dr. Sexy? You've got to be kidding me." she says, taking a seat next to him.

"What?" he asks.

"Out of all possible shows, why are you watching this?" she questions.

"Nothing else was on." he responds.

"Then stare at a wall. It'd be better than this." Alexis says, flopping backwards on the bed.

"Don't insult Dr. Sexy." Dean says, turning back to the TV.

"What're you watching?" Sam asks as he walks out of the bathroom.

"The worst show ever." Alexis states.

Dean turns to give her a small glare before answering, "Some hospital show, Dr. Sexy M.D. I think it's based on a book."

If she didn't know better, she'd say Dean actually looked intrigued by the show.

Sam laughs and says, "When did you hit menopause?"

"It's called channel surfing." Dean replies, standing up and clicking off the TV.

"Ready?" Sam asks them both.

"Do you guys really need me?" she asks, causing both brothers to turn to her.

"I have a headache and would kind of just rather stay here." she says in response to their questioning looks.

Sam walks over to her, bending down beside the bed, and says, "Need me to get you anything before we leave?"

"I'm fine. I'll just take something and maybe take a nap. You two go, find out anything you can and then just fill me in when you get back." she tells him.

"Alright. We'll be back later." Sam says and then presses a kiss to her forehead before turning back to Dean.

When they walk back through the door sometime later, Sam quickly asks, "How's your head?"

"Better. What'd you guys find out?" she asks, sitting up. She'd barely moved from her spot on the bed while they were gone except to take something and go to the bathroom.

"The wife could've sworn she saw the Incredible Hulk, the TV one, kill her husband." Dean says, taking off his suit jacket.

"That's a new one." Alexis states, taking a sip of water.

"I was going to go check out the house. Either of you want to come?" Sam says.

"I'm going to do some research." Dean says, taking a seat at the table.

"I think I'm just going to stay here." Alexis tells him.

Sam nods and goes to change before heading back out the door.

Dean changes after and Alexis clicks on the TV only to find Dr. Sexy was the only thing on.

"I thought staring at a wall was better." Dean says with a smirk as he walks back out of the bathroom.

"It is." Alexis remarks, staring at the TV with disgust before clicking it off. "Besides, Grey's Anatomy is so much better." she says, tossing the remote onto the other bed.

Dean turns to her with a look of shock on her face and says, "You take that back."

"Never." she replies, smirking at him.

He shakes his head and pulls out the laptop before sitting down at the table to do research.

When Sam returns, he says the house had about an eight-foot hole where the door used to be. Dean explained what he'd found. The man that had been killed, Bill, had quite a temper. Spousal battery, bar brawls, court ordered anger management sessions. Alexis shivers slightly, this Bill guy reminding her of Kyle.

"Doesn't sound too different from Kyle." she mutters.

They both turn to her, sympathetic looks on their faces.

"Don't. What else do you have?" she says, her tone of voice telling them not to ask about Kyle.

"That's it." Dean says, turning back to the laptop.

"So a hothead getting killed by TV's greatest hothead?" Sam says, thinking out loud. "Kinda sounds like just deserts doesn't it." he adds.

Something about this smelled like Gabriel to her but she hadn't seen him or wings, so she hadn't said anything yet. With the candy wrappers Sam had found at the crime scene, he deduces that they were dealing with a Trickster.

"An actual one or Gabriel? Who I've yet to actually even see not being a Trickster." Dean says, throwing a pointed look at Alexis.

"I have no idea if this is him or not. Haven't seen any wings." she says in defense.

"If he's killing people again, we're going to have to stop him." Dean says.

"What? Kill him? An archangel? No way. We are not killing Gabriel. One of the only angels who actually thinks I shouldn't be killed simply for having grace in me." Alexis says, finally getting off of the bed.

"Lex-" Dean begins but she cuts him off with a glare and says, "No."

"Let's just figure out if it is him or an actual Trickster, alright?" Sam says, trying to prevent them from full on yelling at each other.

Sometime later, a call comes through on the police scanner that catches their interest. Within minutes, all three of them are out the door. When they get to the location, they end up at an abandoned building. When they walk in the door, where they walk into is not the inside of that building. It's a hospital.

"What the hell?" Dean asks, glancing down at their outfits.

All of them were in scrubs and doctor jackets.

As they walk, some random girl walks up to Sam and smacks him. "Seriously?" she says.

"What?" Sam asks, totally lost.

"Seriously? You're brilliant, you know that? And a coward. You're a brilliant coward." the woman says.

"What're you talking about?" Sam asks.

She smacks him again and says, "As if you don't know." The woman then turns and walks away.

"Oh no." Alexis says at the same time Dean says, "I don't believe this."

"What?" Sam asks.

"We're in Dr. Sexy M.D." Alexis states. "Shoot me now." she says and then adds, "No wait, shoot Gabriel now."

"I thought you didn't want to kill him?" Dean says, turning to her.

"Yeah, well that was before he stuck me in this ridiculous show." she replies.

At some point while walking around the hospital, Dean spots the Dr. Sexy. Except what Alexis sees is the doctor, with wings. _Gabriel. I'm so going to kill you, _she thinks to herself. As he spots them, he snaps his fingers and suddenly she can't talk. She continues glaring at Gabriel, hoping either Sam or Dean will be smart enough to spot that it is Gabe. Sure enough, Dean spots it and slams Dr. Sexy, er, Gabriel, up against the wall.

"Gabriel." he spats.

"You're crazy." Gabe, the doctor, replies.

Dean explains how he knew, something about shoes, and then time freezes while Gabriel appears before their eyes.

"You guys are getting better. Didn't even need her to say anything." Gabe says, pointing at Alexis.

Sam turns to her and asks, "Why didn't you?"

She motions to her mouth and waves her hands, trying to say that she can't speak.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Dean demands.

"She just can't speak for now. That's all." Gabe says.

_Why does he have to be such an ass sometimes? _she thinks to herself. He snaps his fingers again and she disappears.

"Gabriel, I'm going to kill you." she shouts to herself, now able to speak. She was now standing in a room with absolutely no exits. No windows, no doors, nothing. Gabe appears a few minutes later and she's immediately yelling at him.

"Woah, no need to get all pissed off." he says.

"What the hell are you doing? I thought you weren't killing people anymore! And why are you messing with them again? Where are they? Where are we?" she shouts at him, beginning to pace.

"What's so bad about killing a couple of jerks every now and then? And never mind them, just some harmless fun. As for where we are, we can go anywhere." he says.

"I want to be with Sam and Dean." she states.

"Except there." Gabe replies.

"Why do you have to be such an asshole sometimes?" Alexis says.

"They need to be a taught a lesson." Gabe says and then snaps his fingers again.

Before she could protest, she was standing in an entirely different place. It turns out Gabe had just stuck her in some type of loop that replayed old memories of hers. Seeing her father, her brother, and Zac, again made her smile, but she couldn't help but dwell on what Gabe could be doing to Sam and Dean.

After who knows how many memories, she appears back in the abandoned building, where Sam and Dean were standing around a ring of holy fire, Gabriel trapped inside.

"Took you long enough to actually trap him." she says, walking over to Sam, who immediately wraps an arm around her and pulls her to him, as if she'd vanish again if he let go.

"Well played boys, well played. Where'd you get the holy oil?" Gabe says.

"Well you might say we pulled it out of Sam's ass." Dean says.

Alexis looks at them both with a questioning glance but neither elaborate.

"Now what the hell did you do all of this for?" Alexis asks, her words dripping with anger.

Gabe explains why he left Heaven and tells them the Apocalypse can't be stopped. He says he just wants it to be over. Gabe continues to explain why the Winchesters are the vessels, that it's their destiny. One has to kill the other. She ends up tuning most of it out, not wanting to hear any of it. Eventually, Dean gets Gabe to bring Cas back, causing Alexis to pay attention once more.

"Hello, Gabriel." Cas says.

"Hey, bro. How's the search for daddy going? Let me guess. Awful." Gabe responds.

Castiel just glares at Gabe, much like Alexis had been earlier.

"Okay, we're out of here. Come on Sam, Lex." Dean says, turning away from Gabe.

Sam turns to follow, turning Alexis with him as his arm was still around her. On the way out, Alexis pulls the fire alarm, allowing Gabe to leave.

Once they're outside, Sam, Dean, and Castiel all turn to her and ask, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." she responds, not wanting all of them fussing over her.

"Did he hurt you? I couldn't even locate you, Alexis." Castiel says.

"He just stuck me in old memories. I'm fine, alright?" she says, hoping they'd drop it.

"So what do we do now?" Dean asks, changing the topic.

"I don't know." Sam replies.

Without another word, the three get into the impala and Cas disappears.

* * *

_A/N: This one took me a while, I got halfway through and then got stuck. I ended up mapping out what episodes I am and am not doing and kind of went from there. Next chapter will be 5x9 and 5x10. Let me know your thoughts on the chapter maybe? Reviews help me so much._


	31. Never Like This

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Alexis and Elizabeth.**

* * *

**Chapter 31: Never Like This **

"You're sure Chuck said to come here?" Alexis asks as the three step out of the Impala.

"This is it. Come on." Sam says.

At the front of the hotel they were sent to, they find Chuck.

"Chuck! There you are." Sam says as the three jog over to him.

"Guys?" Chuck asks, as if he hadn't been expecting them.

"What's going on?" Dean asks.

"Uh, nothing. You know just um…. What are you guys doing here?" the prophet asks.

"You told us to come." Dean states.

"Uh, no I didn't." Chuck replies.

"Yeah, you did. You texted me. This address, life or death situation, any of that ring a bell?" Sam says.

"No I didn't send you a text." Chuck responds, looking as confused as Alexis felt.

"We drove all night." Dean states harshly.

"I'm sorry. I-I don't understand what… Oh no." the prophet says.

"What?" Dean demands.

That's when they hear, "Sam! You made it!"

This time it was Alexis' turn to say, "Oh no." _Becky. Of course it's her. This day just keeps getting better and better. _

"Oh, uh, Becky, right?" Sam says, beginning to look uncomfortable as Becky rushes over to him.

"You remembered." Becky says.

Apparently the fact that Sam remembered her name was just amazing. Dean seemed to be thinking the same thing as she sees him roll his eyes.

"You've been thinking about me." Becky states.

Sam turns to her, silently asking for help, but she doesn't know what to say. It wasn't like she felt threatened by Becky in the slightest. Not only was she confident that Sam would never cheat on her, but Becky? His ultimate super fan who made him look even more uncomfortable than he does when he's around clowns? Yeah, never. So instead of helping, she remained watching Sam struggle.

"It's okay. I can't get you out of my head either." Becky adds.

"Uh, Becky? Did you take my phone?" Chuck asks.

The blonde turns to him and says, "I just borrowed it. From your pants."

"Becky…" Chuck says.

"What? They're gunna wanna see it." Becky says.

"See what?" the three hunters ask simultaneously.

"Oh my god I love it when they talk at the same time." Becky says, still not having once even acknowledged Alexis.

"Hey Chuck? Come on pal, it's show time." A man with a clipboard calls from the stairs.

Becky, who looked happier than a kid on Christmas, runs to the stairs as Chuck tells them, "Guys, I'm sorry. For everything."

After sharing a confused look, the three follow Becky inside.

Upon entering the hotel, some man passes them and with a laugh says, "Hey, Dean. Looking good."

_Um, what the hell? _

"Who the hell are you?" Dean asks.

"I'm Dean too. Duh." the man, who was oddly dressed like Dean, the necklace and all, says as if it was obvious.

"Where the hell are we?" Alexis asks. When she glances around, she notices people are dressed like supernatural creatures, Sam, Dean, Bobby, and even her. "Wait… don't tell me this is a Supernatural convention." Alexis adds, already wishing she was in a different state.

Becky ignores her and Sam asks, "Uh, Becky? What is this?"

"It's awesome. A Supernatural convention. The first ever." Becky replies.

"No, no, nope. Not staying for this." Alexis says, turning to the door.

Sam turns and grabs her arm, spinning her back towards him. "Oh no, if we have to stay, so do you." he tells her, gently pushing her back into the room.

She crinkles her nose at him and leans against him, preparing herself for a very long day. When Becky sees them a glare crosses her face, aimed mainly at Alexis. _Well, at least I can do that today. Bug Becky. She's the one who got us here anyway. _Once they walk through the hotel, Becky leads them to a conference room, where Chuck is supposed to speak. The prophet seemed beyond uncomfortable and awkward about being there. Through the questions, Alexis finds out that thankfully the last book ends with Dean going to Hell. That meant no one but Chuck knew anything that happened after. The fan that asked about the last book leads Chuck to announce he was going to continue publishing.

"Oh hell no." she hears Dean mutter.

"No fucking way." Alexis adds.

Sam doesn't say anything, but he looks just as pissed as them.

Outside the conference room later, they find Becky and Chuck. They confront him about writing more books. When Chuck pulls them aside, Alexis slips away and ends up outside.

Oddly enough, Becky sits down next to her a few minutes later.

"What are you doing?" Alexis asks, looking at the blonde oddly.

"I could ask you the same thing." Becky says, pointing to the cigarette in Alexis' hand.

"Didn't you quit in the books?"

"Yeah, so?" Alexis says. The truth was she'd picked up smoking again after the last time she saw Kyle. Neither brother had caught her yet and she intended on keeping it that way. It wasn't like she smoked often anymore, not like before. Just occasionally, whenever she got super stressed, like right now.

"Why are you out here? With me? You looked like you were in heaven in there. And you hate me. So, why?" Alexis asks.

"I don't hate you." Becky says.

"Could've fooled me." Alexis mutters.

"I'm just… I'm jealous of you, alright?" Becky admits.

"Jealous? Of me? You've got to be kidding." Alexis says with disbelief.

"Why not? I mean, you're gorgeous, you're a kickass hunter, you have your family, who loves you and cares about you, and you have both Sam and Dean." Becky explains.

"Becky, my life quite frankly sucks. Do you even know what's happening with us right now? The apocalypse. The freaking apocalypse. Lucifer wants Sam, Michael wants Dean, everyone just seems to want me dead. Half my family is dead. In my life, everyone dies. My life? My life is not something to envy. Not in the slightest." Alexis tells the blonde.

Becky's face was one of pure shock. She clearly hadn't heard much about what was going on with them right now. "Oh." Becky states.

"Yeah, oh. So if you don't mind, I'd like to smoke in peace." Alexis says.

"You shouldn't smoke." Becky says.

"So I've been told. But like I told Sam once, we both know I'll be dead before it can kill me." Alexis says.

"You don't know that." Becky says.

"Did you not hear what I just said? It's the apocalypse, Becky! And both freaking Heaven and Hell want me, either dead or for torture. I've already died twice and according to just about everyone, I'm supposed to be dead anyway." Alexis says, her voice a little louder than she'd intended.

Becky's eyes widen and she raises her eyebrows in shock as she asks, "You've died twice?"

"Yeah. Third times a charm, right? Maybe I'll actually stay dead next time." Alexis says, not really sure what was making her say all of this to Becky. _How am I talking to her so easily? Why am I? And why can't I just talk to Sam like this? God why is everything so messed up? _"Why don't you just go back inside? You don't need me complaining to you anyways. Go enjoy your convention."

Becky nods and heads back inside. Thinking she was alone for good now, she continues to smoke. Unfortunately, minutes after Becky had gone inside, she hears footsteps again.

"Lex?" she hears Sam call out. "What are you doing out here? Becky said you're smoking?" Sam asks, now walking over to her.

She can practically feel the disappointment and concern radiating off of Sam as he sits down next to her. Without another word, Sam reaches out and grabs the cigarette from her hand, smashing it underneath his shoe. "Why didn't you tell me you were smoking again?" he asks.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because smoking is unhealthy and I thought you quit. Or have you just been hiding it this whole time?" Sam says, some anger in his words.

"Like I've told you before, I'll be dead before smoking can kill me, so what's the big deal? Hell I'll probably be dead before I'm thirty." she tells him.

"Don't say that. You don't know that."

"Oh I don't? How many more signs do I need, Sam? Huh? How many more ways can I be told or shown that I'm not even supposed to be alive right now?"

"This again? I thought- I thought we were getting past that."

"Guess not."

"What's going on, Lex?"

"I'm just tired, Sam. I'm so damn tired. When is it going to be enough? I mean, how many more things do we have to go through before we can just be done? I am twenty-four years old. Most people my age are hardly out of college, or are at law school or med school, or complaining about their boss, going to bars, working an actual job, stuff like that. But me? No, I'm worrying about the apocalypse, about Lucifer, the damn devil himself, getting to my boyfriend. I'm worried about my family getting killed, about angels or demons taking one or both of you guys away from me or vice versa. I'd give anything for worrying about what outfit I'm going to wear out on Friday or being late for work to be my biggest concern in the world."

Sam wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer to him before asking, "What brought this on?"

"Becky. This whole thing. I mean, she actually told me she was jealous of me. And all these people? They're here because they're so intrigued by our lives, some even seem like they actually want to be us. How messed up is that?" Alexis says, resting her head on Sam's shoulder.

She feels him sigh and then hears him say, "I'm sorry, Lex."

"It's not your fault."

"No, but I don't know what else to say. Everything you just said makes sense, even if I wish it didn't. Yes, all signs point to you being dead, or at least that you're supposed to be. But that's not going to happen. I need you to believe that, to want that. I need you to want to live, Lex, because I need you. I do. So does Dean, so does your family. You just have to keep fighting, even if you don't see the point. Prove them wrong; prove everyone who says you're supposed to be dead wrong. Live. Fight. Win. Because that's who you are, Alexis. You're a fighter, a warrior. You can't give up, not now, not after everything you've gone through." Sam tells her, his arm still wrapped tightly around her.

She glances down at her wrist, rolling her sleeve up slightly, making her tattoo of the word warrior visible, and stares at it for a minute. "I know. And I don't want to give up, I don't. But I just don't know how much more I can take, Sam. How much more I can lose before I break." she tells him, turning her head to look him in the eye.

"I know. And I hope we figure this out soon and that we don't lose anymore. But right now, you still have me, and I don't plan on going anywhere. All you've got to do is talk to me. And please, no more smoking. I thought you'd quit anyway." Sam says.

"Okay. And I had, I really had, but I guess after seeing Kyle again, I picked it back up. I'll try to stop again, for you."

"Thank you."

"I um, I think I'm going to go get us a motel room and just crash there. I don't really feel like staying here any longer." Alexis tells him.

"You sure?" Sam asks her.

"Yeah, I think I just want to be alone for a bit. Maybe get some sleep."

"Okay. I'll get the keys from Dean and I can drive you then come back here." Sam says, standing up.

Alexis nods and watches Sam walk back inside. A few minutes later he walks back out, keys in hand, and Alexis spends the rest of the day at the motel.

* * *

The next morning, when Sam and Dean actually return, having had called her the night before about not being able to leave, Sam says Becky explained that Bela, who'd stolen the Colt, never actually gave it to Lilith. She sold it to a demon named Crowley, so at least now they had a lead on the Colt. Maybe they could finally get a move on stopping the apocalypse. So tracking down Crowley was now their top priority and they got Castiel involved too. The sooner they could get the Colt, the sooner they could try to kill Lucifer. Within a few days, Castiel had tracked down the demon. They were currently stopped somewhere as Dean was on the phone with Castiel, who had located Crowley. Cas had followed him to some place that was warded against angels, meaning they had to head there.

Once they got there, they realized that in order to get in, they needed a distraction. "I'd say that we could use you, Lex, but just about every demon knows your face. It won't work. So I say we call your sister." Dean says.

"Jo?" Alexis asks in disbelief.

"Got any other sisters we don't know about?" Dean replies.

"Dammit. I'll call her." Alexis says, realizing Jo would probably jump at the chance and that Jo was probably their best shot. But at that question, Alexis was reminded of someone she hadn't thought about in the longest time. _Elizabeth… I wonder where she is. _

As she predicted, Jo was practically over the moon to come help them and was out there the next day. The next night, they had their plan set out and were ready to go. Even though Alexis wasn't too thrilled about her sister being bait for some sleazeball demons, she went along with it. They successfully and rather easily take out the demon guards, allowing them access to Crowley's house. Once they cut the power, they enter, weapons in hand.

"It's Crowley, right?" Sam asks when they finally see him.

Sam and Dean were standing ever so slightly in front of her and Jo, meaning the two sisters had to peer a bit around the brothers to even see the demon.

"So, the Hardy boys finally found me. Their little girlfriend too, or is that girlfriends? Either way, took you long enough." Crowley says, as if he'd been expecting them.

Unfortunately, as Crowley walks over to them, he catches the demon trap on the rug and avoids it. Before they could react, five demon guards come up behind them. One grabs Jo, one grabs Dean, one grabs Sam, and two grab Alexis.

"Don't think I haven't heard about you, Alexis. I've heard quite a bit. I know your tricks." Crowley says, giving her an odd knowing look.

"This is it, right? This is what it's all about?" Crowley then continues, holding up the Colt. He then fires at two of the guards, freeing Dean and Alexis. She could easily take the other one out and then took the one holding Jo out while Dean plunged Alexis' blade into the one holding Sam.

"That trick you have there is very interesting. Just had to see it in action." Crowley tells her.

"Now, we need to talk, privately. Just you two, sorry girls." the demon then continues.

"Seriously?" Alexis says.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Crowley replies.

"If you so much as give them a paper cut, you know damn well I will kill you. Come on Jo." Alexis says, turning to walk out with a small smirk on her face. Crowley had actually looked somewhat frightened by her, and that was a good thing.

When they get outside, she and Jo end up just sitting on the steps.

"You're scary sometimes, you know that?" Jo says.

"So I've been told." Alexis says with a laugh.

"I'm kinda surprised mom let you come." Alexis tells her sister.

"I told her that if I didn't, it'd be you and that there'd only be three of you instead of four, and that demons are more likely to recognize you and it could backfire. That got her to let up and let me go." Jo explains.

"Oh, makes sense." Alexis says.

"Besides, I miss my little sister. I know you're with the Winchesters and both of them would protect you no matter what, but I still worry about you. It pretty much comes with being the older sibling."

"Yeah, I miss you too, and mom. And I may be the youngest, but that doesn't mean I don't worry about you two also."

"Well, I guess we'll just continue worrying about the other."

"Yeah."

"What do you think Crowley wants with them?"

"I have no idea. But I haven't heard any shots so it must be something good."

After a few minutes of silence, Alexis says, "Hey Jo?"

"Yeah?"

"When Dean suggested calling you for this, he asked if I had any other sisters they didn't know about, joking of course, but uh, it made me think of Elizabeth."

"Liz? Really? Wow. Haven't thought about her in forever." Jo replies.

"I know. But now I've been thinking a lot about her… I think I want to try and find her. Just you know, see if she got the life she wanted, see if she's okay. She is our half sister. I mean, I get why mom never mentions her because Liz isn't her daughter, just dad's, but…"

"She wanted nothing to do with this life, Lex. After her mom died and dad died, she was pretty much stuck with us, but she left as soon as she could. She may be blood but she's not family."

"But she did spend six years with us, Jo. So even though we've gone longer without even speaking to her, like it or not, she is family. You don't have to help me, or see her if I do find her, but I'm going to try."

"Fine. God knows I can't stop you when you set your mind to something anyway. But I don't want any part of it and I'd rather mom not find out either."

"Alright. If you change your mind, just let me know."

The two then sit in silence while they wait for Sam and Dean to come out.

"He just gave it to you?" Alexis asks in disbelief.

"And also happened to know where exactly the devil will be and when?" Jo adds.

"That's exactly what he did. Said he wants Lucifer dead too because Lucifer will exterminate demons too." Dean says.

"Something doesn't seem right here." Alexis mutters.

"It's our best shot." Dean tells her.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just saying, this feels too easy." Alexis says as they get into the Impala.

* * *

From there, they call Bobby and Ellen to say they were going to meet up at Bobby's. Once they're there, that Wednesday night, the night before they go to kill the devil, the group of hunters (and an angel) treat it as potentially their last night on Earth. The group was Bobby, Ellen, Castiel, Dean, Sam, Jo, and Alexis. The whole thing involved lots and lots of alcohol. Ellen even did shots with Castiel. Cas just kept going and going as if it was water.

_Guess that's what happens when you're an angel, _she thinks to herself and then grabs a beer from the fridge and walks back into the room Sam and Dean were in.

"It's gotta be a trap, right?" Sam says.

"Sounds like one." Alexis says, taking the seat next to him.

"Oh now you two have trust issues with a demon." Dean says.

"Nice, Dean. Real nice." Alexis says. "And for the record, I never trusted Ruby." she adds after taking a sip of her beer. Then she decides to get up and go outside, wanting to think some things through on her own.

After about ten minutes, Bobby wheels out onto the porch and stops next to her. "What're you doing out here, kid?" he asks.

"I'm not a kid anymore, Bobby. I'm twenty-four." Alexis says.

"Well you'll always be a kid to me. Now why are you out here all by yourself?" the older hunter asks.

"Just thinking." she replies, looking up at the stars.

"Care to elaborate?" Bobby says.

"I don't know, Bobby. What if this is it? What if, one way or another, it all ends tomorrow? I mean we either kill the devil or all end up dead. Those are really the only two possibilities, right?" Alexis says.

"Well, if it ends, it ends. But when you and those boys are around, things tend to end up differently. You kids have died and come back to life before, you more than once. So really, anything could happen. Don't worry about it, kiddo. What's meant to happen will happen. And as much as I don't believe in all this destiny crap, tomorrow is going to go the way it's supposed to. I just hope all of you make it out of there." Bobby says.

"Thanks, Bobby." Alexis tells the older hunter.

"No problem, kiddo. Now get back inside, would ya?" he says.

"I'll be in soon." she says and watches him wheel himself back inside.

A few minutes later, Sam walks out.

_Bobby must have sent him out here to get me back inside. _"Bobby sent you?" she asks, not looking back at him.

"Yep." Sam says, walking up next to her.

"You know, after all this time of people telling me I'm suppose to be dead, and even me almost wanting to be or not caring if I was, now that I could die tomorrow, that all of us could, I don't want to. I mean, everything about this just screams trap, Sam. It's just too easy." Alexis tells him.

Sam gives her a small smile, not saying anything.

"Why are you smiling?" she asks.

"Because you basically just told me you don't want to die. You want to live. And Lex, you might not see it, but that's big. It is. And honestly, it makes me feel better because I know you'll protect yourself. Maybe it is a trap, but what if it isn't? We've got a chance and we have to take it. We wouldn't be us if we didn't." Sam tells her.

"I just don't want to lose anyone else. My mom and Jo are coming with… what if they don't make it out? What if there are demons? Or hellhounds? Or both?" she says, pretty much just thinking out loud.

"We'll figure it out when we get there then. Just come on. Let's go back inside. No use worrying about this right now." Sam says, gently tugging her back inside.

Alexis sighs and lets Sam lead her all the way inside. When they get back inside, Dean tells them there are signs that the devil is in Carthage and that Sam can't come.

"If we go, without you, and screw the pooch, okay, we've lost a game piece. But if you go, we're basically handing him his vessel." Dean explains.

"He's right, Sam. You shouldn't go. It's not smart." Alexis says, not having thought about it before.

"Since when have we ever done anything smart?" Sam says.

"I'm serious, Sam." Dean says.

"So am I. I mean, haven't we learned a damn thing? If we're going to do this, we're going to do it together. All of us, not one, not two, all of us." Sam says firmly.

Dean looks to Alexis, as if looking for her to come up with a better response, but she just shrugs, silently telling him she had nothing.

"Okay, but it's a stupid friggen idea." Dean says.

"Damn stupid." Alexis mutters.

"Do either of you remember what happened the last time we were all apart?" Sam says.

"I couldn't forget if I tried, Sam. I get it, alright? We're all going." Alexis says.

"Doesn't make this any less stupid." Dean adds.

Then Sam notices Dean watching Jo and says, "Boy, talk about stupid ideas."

"Ew. I am not listening to or watching this." Alexis says, standing up and walking back out onto the porch.

Seconds later, Sam joins her. She gives him a look and his reply is, "No way I was watching that either."

"You know, though, if it is our last night on Earth, there is something we should do." Alexis tells him, a smirk slowly forming on her face.

"Alexis Harvelle, are you propositioning what I think you are?" Sam asks, a smirk now on his face.

"You bet your ass I am, Sam Winchester." Alexis replies.

"I like the way you think." he responds.

That's when they hear Bobby call out, "Everybody get in here!"

"Later." Sam says.

"Oh yes, later." Alexis tells him and then heads back inside.

Once all of them were in the living room, Bobby had them line up for a picture. "Usual suspects in the corner." he says as he sets up the camera.

"Oh come on Bobby, nobody wants their picture taken." Ellen says.

"Shut up. You're drinking my beer. Anyway, I'm going to need something to remember your sorry asses by." Bobby says.

Castiel was on the end, then Sam, then Alexis, then Dean, with Jo on the other end, and Bobby and Ellen in front.

Ellen laughs and says, "It's always good to have an optimist around."

"Bobby's right. Tomorrow we hunt the devil. This is our last night on Earth." Castiel points out just before the camera flashes.

After the picture, Sam and Alexis head downstairs to where her hidden room was. "I believe we were going to pick something up?" Sam says as Alexis shuts the door behind them.

"I believe you are correct. That's why we came down here. Virtually soundproof." Alexis replies with a smirk.

The two spend the rest of the night together, in more ways than one. If it was truly their last night on Earth, Alexis wouldn't have it any other way. An hour later, they were just lying there, bare skin against bare skin, Alexis' head on Sam's chest, and Sam's arm around her shoulder. It was peaceful, almost perfect. And it would have been perfect if there weren't a high chance of them not being alive twenty-four hours later.

"You know, if we make it out alive tomorrow, we should do this more often." Sam says.

"Yeah. Sometimes I forget that we're both still so young. I'm 24, you're 26. This, right now, should be more common with us. But it's not. We're rarely ever even alone like this. And I love this, I do. I'll admit, the first time, I honestly was a little scared, and that's because I haven't had the best experiences in past relationships. No one had ever even looked at me the way you do. But Sam, this, us here, right now, is something I've never had with anyone before. And if we don't make it out tomorrow, I want you to know that you have been the best thing to ever happen to me. I mean it." Alexis says, pausing to figure out how she wanted to continue. "The way you look at me sometimes is like I'm the only one in the room, like I'm the best thing you've ever laid eyes on. And you know what I used to think of myself, how little and negatively I thought about myself, but now, now I look in the mirror and I think, 'If someone like Sam can look at me like that, there has to be something good about me.' And I've started to see it. Kyle, Alex, other guys I'd dated, they all put me down, made me think I was beneath them and that I was lucky they even wanted me. You… you've never done that to me. Never. And- and there's just not enough time in the world or enough words in the English language to tell you how much you and our relationship has meant to me." she finishes, looking up at Sam to see there were a few tears in his eyes.

"Lex… I don't even know what to say." he tells her.

"I made Sam Winchester speechless?" she asks, raising her eyebrows in fake shock.

After a minute or so of thinking, Sam says, "I don't think I can remotely say anything close to that, but I want you to know you make me a better person, you do. After Jess, I really never thought I'd find someone that could be anything like what she was to me. But then I met you and it all changed. You and Jess, you two are polar opposites in most ways, and what I feel for you compared to what I felt for her, is totally different. Yes, I loved her but with you, Lex, it's different. I don't know how to explain it. It's like my heart hurts when we're apart, like a piece of me is missing when you aren't by my side. I didn't even know that was possible. Us laying here like this right now, I could stay here forever. As much as you say I've helped you, you've helped me too. Hell, I killed you, Lex, I did, and you forgave me. You never cease to amaze me, ever. I look at you like you're the best person I've ever seen because you are to me. Even if you have cold feet." he says, smiling at the last part.

"God I love you." she says, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"You have no idea." Sam replies, wrapping his arms around her completely and flipping her on top of him.

She sits up, straddling his stomach, and Sam begins tracing her bird tattoos with his finger.

"I never thought I'd date a girl with more tattoos than me." Sam says with a laugh.

"I think I'll get another one if we do get out of this alive." Alexis says.

"Really? What?" Sam asks, now looking up at her.

"Dunno know yet. Maybe a black angel wing or wings? I've been itching to get another anyway." she says.

"If we do make it out, I'll go with, maybe get one too." Sam says.

"Oh really? We have to make it out now. I have to see that." Alexis says.

"Is it so unbelievable that I'd get another?" Sam asks, looking slightly offended.

Alexis laughs and says, "Just a little."

Sam glances at the clock and says, "I suppose we should get some sleep."

"You know, I'm not exactly tired. I think I know something that'll fix that though…" she says with a smirk.

A second later, Sam has flipped her back over and is now the one hovering over her.

"I can help with that." he says, a smirk of his own on his face, and then disappears under the covers.

* * *

The next morning, they all piled into two cars and headed off towards Carthage. Sam and Dean rode in the Impala while all three Harvelles and Cas rode in a different car. Ellen had sat up front with Cas while Jo and Alexis sat in back.

"Girls?" her mother says about an hour away from Carthage.

"Hm?" Jo says as the two of them look up.

"You two know I'm not good with this sappy stuff, but if this truly is our last day alive, I want you both to know how truly proud of you I am, both of you. Lex, I know maybe I haven't been the best mother to you and I didn't support you hunting at first when I should have, but you have done so much good by hunting. And you had the roadhouse rebuilt for me. You always were so much more like your father than you were me, and I think you're a better person for it. Jo, I know you and I have had our differences too, but I'm also proud of the woman you grew up to be. You both deserve to make it out of this alive and even have a family some day. You and Sam should get married, Lex, if this ends and you two still come out alive. Because what you have is rare and you deserve to be happy. Both of you do." Ellen tells them.

"Mom…" both Jo and Alexis reply.

"You've been a great mother, mom. You have been and you are. When we lost dad and Matt, you held it together enough to keep us going, to raise us. I could only dream of being that great of a mother one day if I ever do get to have kids." Alexis says.

"She's right, mom. You have been an amazing mother. You put us before anything, even your own feelings, and that is something I hope I got from you. So if we don't make it out of here today, you need to know how much we both love you and how proud we are that you are our mother." Jo adds.

Alexis nods in agreement.

"I love you girls, so much." Ellen says, a few tears in her eyes.

"We know." the Harvelle sisters reply.

The rest of the drive is silent.

When they pull into town, Sam and Dean drive to check out the police department as the Harvelles and Cas pull over to see if they can find anyone.

"This place isn't empty." Alexis states as they get out of the car.

"Yes it is." Ellen and Jo reply, looking at her like she was crazy.

"Alexis, what do you see?" Cas asks her, his tone very serious, even for him.

"Um, a bunch of creepy men in suits." Alexis says, wondering why her family didn't see them.

"They are reapers. Humans are not supposed to be able to see them." Castiel tells her, looking confused.

"Reapers? I can see reapers? That's just great." Alexis says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Why are there so many?" Alexis then asks after looking around. They were everywhere, in the streets, on top of buildings, just everywhere.

"I do not know."

"Wait, reapers? How many are there?" Ellen asks.

"A ton. They're everywhere." Alexis says, staring at them in shock.

"They only gather like this at times of great catastrophe, the Chicago fire, San Francisco quake, Pompeii. Excuse me, I need to find out why they're here." Cas says, walking up to one of them.

"You can really see them?" Jo asks.

"Yeah, it's creepy." Alexis says.

Not minutes later, Cas disappears.

The Harvelles all pile back in the car to meet up with the Winchesters.

"Station's empty." Dean says as they pull up.

"So is everything else." Jo says.

"Sorta." Alexis adds.

"What do you mean sort of?" Sam asks.

"There are uh, reapers everywhere. And apparently I can see them." Alexis elaborates.

"You can see reapers? And there're reapers, as in more than one?" Dean says.

"Yes and yes." Alexis says.

"Great. Just fantastic." Dean replies sarcastically.

"Have you guys seen Cas?" Ellen asks.

"What? He was with you." Sam says.

"Nope. He went after the reapers." Ellen responds.

Jo and Alexis then get out and Ellen parks the car.

Then, after each of them have guns in their hands, they walk further into town.

"Well this is great. We've been in town for twenty minutes and we've already lost the angel up our sleeve." Dean states.

"You think uh, you think Lucifer got him?" Sam asks.

"I don't know what else to think." Dean responds.

As they round a corner, they hear a voice say, "There you are."

Immediately all of them spin, guns at the ready.

"Meg." Sam says.

_Meg? The demon? This is just perfect. _

"Shouldn't have come here boys." the demon says.

"Yeah, hell I can say the same thing for you." Dean says, stepping forward and aiming the Colt at her.

"Didn't come here alone, Deano." Meg says, following by multiple growls from around them.

_Hellhounds. We're fucked. _

"Hellhounds." Dean states, gun still aimed.

"Yeah, Dean, your favorite. Come on boys, my father wants to see you." Meg says.

"I think we'll pass, thanks." Sam says.

"Your call. You can make this easy or you can make it really, really hard." the demon says as the growls continue.

"When have you ever known us to make anything easy?" Dean says and then fires at a hellhound before shouting, "Run!"

Dean falls over and Jo drops back to help him, firing at them, but she gets pulled backwards and Alexis turns to help, also getting pulled backwards by a hellhound.

"Lex!" Sam shouts.

She could feel claws tearing into her but all she could see was the same thing happening to her sister. She faintly hears her mother's screams and gunshots going off, but still can only focus on her sister. Dean scoops Jo up as Sam reaches Alexis, scooping her up too. They run into the convenient store right there and barricade themselves in. Both Harvelle sisters were bleeding pretty badly and Alexis knew she wouldn't make it out, and from the looks of Jo, neither would she.

Ellen is immediately at her daughters' sides trying to assess the damage while Sam and Dean secure the exits. "Boys, need some help here." Ellen shouts from in between them. She was trying to stop the bleeding on both of her daughters but it was just too much.

Both of them were clearly in pain, but Alexis was completely silent. She knew, she just knew, there was no way she was walking out of this store, or being carried out for that matter.

The boys quickly salt the doors and windows before walking back to the sisters. Jo was worse off than Alexis, some of her intestines visible, meaning Jo had even less time. Alexis was heavily bleeding from her legs and a large gash on her stomach along with a rather sizeable cut on her forehead. Alexis watches the looks exchanged between the brothers and her mother, knowing they were realizing just how bad it was. Sam kneels down next to Alexis, his hand now on the wound on her stomach. Dean gathers some supplies and they manage to get some bandages on both sisters, but it wouldn't hold for long.

"It's okay. You're both going to be alright." Ellen says.

Alexis just shakes her head, still not having made a sound. She didn't know what to say.

"We're going to get you both out of here." Sam says, but the look in his eyes said otherwise. She could tell he was barely keeping himself from bursting out into tears.

Alexis weakly brings her hand to his cheek and shakes her head sadly.

"No… No. You are not dying." Sam says firmly and then stands up and walks over to Dean.

A few minutes later, Ellen calls him back over for help. The blood loss was starting to get to her and Alexis knew she wouldn't last even the rest of the night, and judging by the looks of Jo, neither would she.

"Sam…" Alexis says faintly when her mother gets up to walk over to Dean.

"Hey, hey, I'm here. You are not dying, you hear me? Neither of you are dying." Sam says, holding her hand so tight she thought it might fall off.

"No… we are dying…" Alexis says, looking over to her sister with heavy eyes.

Jo just nods sadly, seeming to have come to that realization already too.

"No…" Sam says, a tear falling down his face.

A minute later, Dean steps back to ask how many reapers Alexis had seen. "At least fifty, probably more." she says, trying to think back.

"Fuck." Dean mutters and then walks back to the radio he'd found and was talking to Bobby on.

Later on, when she hears Dean say something like, "and that's after we get them out of town." She finally speaks up. "You won't." she says weakly. Everything she was doing was weakly actually.

Both brothers turn to her immediately and Dean says, "Neither of you are dying, got it?"

Alexis just shakes her head, knowing denial was going to get them nowhere.

"Stop." Jo says, "Just stop."

"Let's be realistic about this." her sister continues. "I can't move my legs, there's no way Lex can, and neither of us can be moved…" Jo trails off.

"Neither of us are getting out of here… but you guys can… but you have to leave us." Alexis adds.

"We've gotta get our priorities straight here." Jo agrees. "Number one, Lex and I, we aren't going anywhere."

"Joanna Beth, you stop talking like that. You too Alexis Marie."

"Mom." both sisters say.

"We can't fight." Jo adds.

"We can't walk." Alexis chimes in.

And then, with a look between the two sisters conveying what they were both thinking, they say, "But we can do something."

"We've got propane, wiring..." Jo starts.

"Iron nails, rock salt, everything we need…" Alexis continues.

Sam, looking just as lost as Dean and Ellen, asks, "Everything we need?" Though he looked like he didn't want to hear the answer.

"To build a bomb." the sisters reply simultaneously.

"No, no. Jo, Lex, no." Dean says immediately.

"You got another plan?" Jo asks.

"Any other plan?" Alexis adds.

Jo was now leaning on Alexis slightly and Alexis could tell that her sister definitely had even less time than she did.

"Those are hellhounds out there, Dean… they've got all of our scents. Those bitches will never stop coming after you." Jo points out.

All three of the other hunters were near tears, not sure what to say.

"We let the dogs in. You guys hit the roof… make a break for the building next door… and we can wait here, ready to press the button. Rip those mutts a new one. Or at least get you guys a few minute head start anyway..." Jo explains slowly.

"No… I won't- I won't let you." Ellen says, a tear spilling out.

"You have to, Mom…" Alexis says.

"This is why we're here, right? If we- if we can get us a shot on the devil, Dean, we have to take it." Jo says, looking the oldest Winchester in the eye.

"No." Ellen says, looking up at the brothers.

Sam shakes his head, another tear falling down his face.

"Mom… this might literally be your last chance to treat me like an adult, both of us like adults, might wanna take it." Jo says, smiling sadly.

"Mom… it's the only way." Alexis adds.

Her mother couldn't keep it together any longer, she brakes out into tears and Sam was quickly getting there too. After a minute, Ellen looks up and in between sobs, says, "Well you heard em'... get to work."

The three hunters who could actually move began preparing the bomb while Alexis and Jo just watched on, leaning on each other.

As Dean was finishing up, Sam was kneeling next to Alexis, holding her hand in his.

"Sam… you have to let me do this…" she says, looking at him with tears in her eyes.

"Lex… I can't… wh-what do I do without you? I don't… I don't know how to live without you." Sam says, seconds away from breaking down.

Alexis raises her hand to his cheek again and says, "I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry but… you have to figure it out. I love you, okay? So much more than you could ever know. And I want you to remember everything-everything I said to you last night… Now you… you get out of here and kick the devil's ass for me, okay?"

Sam leans into her touch as another tear rolls down his cheek. He smiles sadly at her, another tear rolling down his cheek. "I love you too. This- this wasn't supposed to be like this…. it's not- it's not fair." he says.

"I know… but it is what it is." Alexis says. "Come here." she adds.

Sam leans forwards and she grabs the lapels of his jacket, pulling him towards her for one last kiss. "Just like our first." she whispers.

That's when Sam finally loses it. The tears come streaming down his face as he holds onto her hand for dear life. It's all she can do not to cry along with him, but her tears would only make her wounds sting.

Sam stands up reluctantly and walks away as Dean walks over, the button for the bomb in his hand. He says a goodbye to Jo and hands her the control before he turns to Alexis.

"Dammit, this… this isn't fair… I'm- god I'm going to miss you." he tells her, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"You've become my little sister, you know that right? And I love you, a hell of a lot. I'll see you on the other side too." Dean continues.

"I know. I love you too. But Dean… you have to promise me something." Alexis says.

"What?" he asks.

"Don't let Sam say yes if this goes south. Same goes for you. If either of you say yes, or hurt my Camaro, I will personally come back as a ghost to kick your ass. Got it?" Alexis says, trying her best to be threatening.

Dean laughs sadly and says, "Got it." He then presses a kiss to her forehead and stands back up.

Then Ellen sits down in front of them. "Mom... no." Jo says, realizing that she was preparing to stay.

"Someone has to open the doors." Ellen says.

"No, mom, no. I- I can open them… you've got to get out of here." Alexis says.

"You can't move." her mother says.

"I can open them, mom… please, go, carry on the Harvelle name a little longer… please, for me." Alexis says, unable to stop a tear from escaping.

Ellen stares at them for a minute before finally relenting, "Okay. Okay…. I love you both so much and… you both deserved so so much better. I'm- I'm so sorry girls."

Alexis and Jo nod. "We love you too mom." they reply.

"You guys need to get going." Jo says next, looking from their mother to the Winchesters.

"Go." Alexis adds.

With one last heartbreaking look, Sam, Dean, and Ellen head out.

Once Jo and Alexis are alone, Jo looks to Alexis and says sadly, "Where are the angels when you need them, huh?"

* * *

_A/N: The End! _  
_Just kidding, I can't end it here. I literally wrote this in a day and then edited it today. I've been rereading some of the stuff and I realized there's something bad going on with Alexis in almost every chapter. I'm going to try and fix that, throw in some happier stuff, but the second half of season five really isn't happy and none of season six really is either. I hope you like this chapter, it's one I've had in my head almost since starting this story. Please leave a review if you liked it or if there's something you think I should fix. And let me know if you want more with Elizabeth. She__'s kind of something that just came to me and I thought would be cool to explore, but that may just be me._

As of September 1st, I have gone through and edited this entire story up to here. Some chapters were merged, grammar and smaller things were edited, and the new format was put in place. From now on, all updates will be like this. The dialogue is much more spaced out, making it easier to read. New chapters are coming your way soon (:


	32. Breathe Me

_A/N: So I finally have a new chapter for you guys! In case you missed it, I have gone back and edited this entire story. Some chapters were merged together, I__'ve fixed what I could, and I have a new format. Let me know if you like it better._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 32: Breathe Me**

**-Sam-centric POV-**

Dean had to practically force Sam out of the store. All he could think about was Alexis and not wanting to leave her. _I need to be with her… I can't just leave her here to die. _They had just gotten across the street when the store explodes. Something in him exploded then too and Dean had to physically restrain him from running into it.

"Sammy… she's gone… we-we gotta go." he faintly registers Dean saying.

He can hear Ellen sobbing next to him.

"No…" is his only response.

The rest of that night is a blur. Sam can barely remember the encounter with Lucifer, Death being raised, or Castiel showing up and getting them out of there. All he could think about was Alexis. How he would never see her again… never hear her laugh, see her smile, wake up next to her in the morning, hear her sing… all he had now were memories. By the time they're standing back at Bobby's, Sam couldn't even see straight. He knows Dean lead him to bed and he ended up crying himself to sleep, but everything else was hazy. They say death is hardest on the living, but Sam didn't really even feel like he was living.

By the time two days had passed, Sam had locked himself in Alexis' room in the basement, and the ground was littered with empty liquor bottles and tissues. He didn't know how to deal with her death, so he drank until he couldn't feel anything at all. Because feeling nothing at all was better than feeling the utter heartbreak and loss he was feeling sober. He'd practically barricaded himself in that room. His mind going over and over and over the last night the two of them spent in there. He couldn't get his mind off of Alexis, he didn't know how. _How am I supposed to just keep living without her here __with me? It's not right, it's not fair. She's supposed to be here... she said she wasn't going anywhere..._ When the thoughts of her got to be too much, which didn't take long, he'd drink. He'd drink until he couldn't see straight, until he couldn't feel anything even if he tried.

By the time day four rolled around, Dean had apparently had enough. Sometime that morning, he was rudely awoken by his older brother.

"It's been four days. You need to get out of this room, Sam. It's not healthy, this is not healthy." Dean says.

"Leave me alone." Sam replies, flipping over, not wanting to be disturbed.

"I have left you alone. But I'm done Sammy. You can't just give up. I lost her too, and I know that's not the same, but all of us are hurting. Ellen, god Ellen lost both of her daughters. I lost the only two sisters I ever had… You need to get up, Sam." Dean says firmly, trying to coax him out of bed.

"There's no point." Sam responds, still face down. To him, there truly was no point. He didn't see the point in living when Alexis wasn't living too. He didn't want to get up and walk out of that room because he knew if he did, Alexis wouldn't be there. This room, this room was the closest he could be to her anymore. It still smelled like her, and he didn't want to leave that.

"Get up, Sam." Dean insists, now forcefully lifting him off the bed.

Too tired and too hungover to resist, Sam was standing seconds later.

"Now I promised Alexis that I wouldn't let you say yes, and I'm pretty sure that included me taking care of you. I am not going to break the last promise I ever made to her. So you need to get up, go shower, and while you're in there, figure out how to stay sober for more than five minutes." Dean says.

"Why? She broke her promise." he responds, not realizing what he was saying until he'd already said it.

Dean's expression falters a bit as he questions, "What?"

"She promised me she wasn't going anywhere. And now she's gone." Sam says brokenly, choking up on the last few words.

"Sammy…" Dean replies, seemingly speechless.

"So excuse me if I don't see the point in leaving this room. This room… this room is the last place I ever saw her smile… the last place I heard her laugh… the last place that she woke up next to me." Sam says, thinking back on their last night together once again. _I'd give anything to go back… to make her stay here… then she'd still be here. _

"And that's why you need to get out of here. Get some air, take a walk. How do you think Lex would feel if she could see you now? Do you think this is how she'd want you to keep living?" Dean says.

"Don't. Don't talk to me about her. I- I can't. Just leave me alone." Sam says, some anger seeping into his words.

"I can't leave you alone. Because if I do, if I leave you like this for much longer… I will lose you too, and I can't. I can't do that." his older brother says, unshed tears glistening in his green eyes.

"Dean… I don't… I don't know how to do anything else right now… I just can't." Sam admits.

"I know… I get it, I do. But you have to try… let me help you." Dean says.

Sam nods, realizing he did have a point when he had brought up Alexis. If she could see him right now, she'd probably tell him to get his ass out of bed and get it together. She'd also probably apologize, but not until she'd finished yelling. At the thought, Sam smiles sadly and lets Dean lead him out of the room. When he gets up to the shower, he ends up spending almost an hour in there. He cried some more, somewhat surprising himself that he had tears left to cry, and recalled the time he and Alexis were both standing in that exact shower, both naked and both pretty scratched up. No matter what he did, he ended up thinking about her. Everywhere he looked, he saw her. But he'd blink and then she'd be gone. _I can't take much more of this. I just can't. _ After drying off and changing, he slowly walks back down to the living room. Seconds after Sam had sat down on the couch, Castiel appears.

"You're needed. Both of you. Where are Bobby and Ellen?" the angel says.

"Bobby took Ellen back to the roadhouse. She needed to get out of here for a while, left this morning. What is it?" Dean explains.

"We must go." Cas says, not answering Dean's question.

Before either brother could protest, they were standing in the foyer of Alexis' apartment.

* * *

**-Alexis-centric POV. Picks up back in Carthage.- **

"Where are the angels when you need them, huh?" Jo says sadly.

And that's when it dawned on her. _Why the hell did I think of this earlier? Gabriel. _

"Wait, Jo. Um… this angel… he kinda owes me a favor... but he may not show." Alexis says.

"Call him." Jo says weakly.

"Gabriel!" Alexis shouts with as much volume as she can muster.

At first there's nothing and she thinks he won't show, but after a minute or two, Gabriel is standing in front of them.

"You owe me a favor…. this is me cashing in." Alexis says with a cough. When she pulls her hand back, she notices blood on it. _I'm coughing up blood now? This is just great_.

"What the hell happened here?" Gabriel asks, looking around with wide eyes.

"Just heal us and get us out of here… please. And blow this place up." Alexis says.

"I can't heal you both entirely, not right away. You're both nearly dead." the angel replies.

"Just do what you can." Alexis says.

Gabe steps forward and seconds later, everything goes black.

When she wakes up, she's completely disoriented.

"You're awake." she hears.

"Gabe?" Alexis asks, trying to sit up.

"Hold it." the angel says quickly, putting a hand to her chest and gently but firmly pushing her back down. "You need to rest, a lot. Don't sit up yet." he explains.

She glances around, trying to see what she could from her current position, and when she doesn't see her sister, she begins to panic. "Where's Jo?" she asks.

"Don't worry, your sister is just still asleep. She's in the room next door." Gabriel tells her.

"Still? H-how long was I out? And where is here?" Alexis asks.

"Slow down, would you? Why don't you eat and drink something first." the angel says. When he snaps his fingers, Jell-O, toast, and Sprite appear in front of her.

"I have to sit up to eat." she points out.

Gabriel rolls his eyes and helps her sit up.

"I'm eating. Explain." Alexis says after taking a bite of her toast.

"Okay, don't freak out but you've been here for four days." Gabriel says.

Though she couldn't see it, she knew her eyes were practically popping out of her face as she repeats, "Four days?"

"You and your sister were nearly dead, Alexis. I've been healing both of you slowly day by day, but you're both still hurt. Had you waited even another five minutes I'm not sure I'd have been able to save you both." Gabe explains.

Alexis nods, noting how she didn't feel quite right anyway.

After two hours pass, Jo wakes up.

Once Gabe had explained things to them both, Alexis asks, "Can you take us to Chicago?"

"Let me call Castiel. You both are still weak and getting you here and all of the healing drained me, I may not be able to get you out of here on my own." Gabriel says.

Not two minutes later, Castiel was standing in front of them. His eyes widen as they land on the two sisters and he asks, "What is this?"

Gabe explains and then tells Cas that he needs to help get them to Chicago.

"And Cas? Can you get the Winchesters and my mom there too?" Alexis asks once Gabriel had finished. She was anxious to see them all, but mainly Sam. She needed to see Sam.

"Of course." the angel in the trench coat responds.

Gabe ends up carrying Alexis while Castiel carries Jo as neither were supposed walk much on their own.

Once they're both in beds in Chicago, Cas leaves to get Sam and Dean.

* * *

**-Sam-centric POV-**

_This is Lex's apartment… I can't be here. I can't. _Then he spots Gabriel and a wave of anger runs through him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam demands.

"I'm here for Alexis." Gabe states.

"She's dead, you asshole." Dean says, venom in his words.

"No, she's not. Neither is her sister." the archangel states.

"Wh-what?" Sam says, not sure how to respond.

"Long story which I or she will explain later. But Alexis is in there," Gabe continues, pointing to the master bedroom, "and Jo is down the hall."

Normally, he would press more but not today. Within seconds, both brothers were at the door. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Inside, on the bed, sleeping, was Alexis. The Winchesters simultaneously let out sighs of relief.

"I'm going to go see Jo." Dean whispers and walks away.

Slowly, as if she'd disappear if he moved too quickly, Sam makes his way over to the bed and sits down on the edge. Looking at her, she seemed too still and he starts to freak himself out again. Not sure of what else to do, Sam lays down, his head on her chest, and listens to her heartbeat, content that she was alive.

A few minutes later he hears, "Sam? Wh-what are you doing?"

"Making sure you're alive." he replies, still listening to her heartbeat. He feels her run a hand through his hair and finally looks up, locking eyes with her for the first time in what felt like forever. _God I never thought I'd see those eyes again… _

"Never ever do that to me again." he says, moving slightly that he could wrap one arm around her.

"I'm sorry." she replies quietly.

_Always apologizing. She literally just apologized for dying, or well almost dying. _"It's not your fault… just, god Lex, these past four days have been awful." Sam tells her, unable to pull his eyes away from her for even a second, afraid she'd vanish if he did.

She nods and says, "You look tired, you should get some sleep."

"You're the one who nearly died… I should be worrying about you." Sam says.

"Yeah well, tough shit. Sleep." Alexis says, patting the spot where his head had just been.

He laughs slightly and lays back down, resting his head on her chest again. A few minutes later, he was sound asleep.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

She could tell Sam had fallen asleep by how his breathing had evened out. After about thirty minutes of just watching him sleep and running her fingers gently through his hair, she decides to try to make it to the living room, despite being told to stay off her feet. She slowly makes her way to the doorway and once there, stops and leans on the doorway for a minute before moving again. _I haven't been this weak since the fire… maybe not even then. This sucks ass._

Dean spots her a few seconds later and is immediately at her side. "You are not supposed to be on your feet." he says, already scooping her up in his arms.

"Dean, I can walk." she says.

"Not going to happen." he says.

She rolls her eyes and says, "Just put me on the couch then."

"You're supposed to be resting." Dean tells her.

"Then I'll rest on the couch. You can put me back in bed but you know damn well I'll just get back up." she replies.

"Fine. Couch. But you rest there." Dean says, carrying her over to it.

"I wanted something to drink though." she responds.

"I will get it. Don't even think about getting up." Dean warns, setting her down and walking over to the fridge.

"But you don't know what I want." she calls after him, now enjoying giving him a hard time.

Without a response, Dean walks back over with a Diet Coke in his hand. "Lex, I know you pretty damn well. Here." he says, handing her the drink.

Once she takes it he says, "Now scoot." She does as told and scoots over on the couch, giving him room to sit down.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you." he tells her.

With him looking directly at her, she could see all the grief and sorrow in his eyes. Feeling guilty for being part of the reason that was there, she apologizes again, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Anyone ever tell you you do that too much? This isn't your fault, Lex." he says.

"But-" she begins.

"No buts, this isn't your fault at all. I'm just glad both you and Jo are okay." Dean tells her.

"But I'm the reason, well part of the reason, that you and Sam look the way you do… you both look, well, kinda horrible." she admits.

"It's not your fault, okay? Don't blame yourself. These past four days, they've been hell, but it's not your fault. You had no control over it." he says sincerely.

She nods and says, "Um, how was Sam? He-he didn't look too good."

"Not good. Not at all. He needs you, Lex, more than you may realize. It wasn't like with Jess, not at all. Then, he threw himself into hunting, finding yellow eyes. With you, he holed himself up in that room of yours at Bobby's and drank all the time. Wouldn't come out, wouldn't talk to anyone. Just stayed in there, drunk more often than not." Dean says.

_Oh Sam…_

"Don't apologize, don't beat yourself up about it. Just, just be there for him now, okay?" Dean says, cutting her off just as she opened her mouth.

"Okay." she replies.

"Now, let's see what's on TV." Dean says, grabbing the remote. He clicks it on and changes the channel to Doctor Sexy M.D.

"Hell no. We are not watching this." Alexis says, grabbing the remote from him.

She changes the channel and lands on Grey's Anatomy. "There. Much better." she says with a smirk.

"You can't be serious. How can you think this garbage is better than Doctor Sexy? I mean, come on, he's Doctor Sexy!" Dean says, seemingly actually offended.

"Have you seen Patrick Dempsey and Eric Dane?" Alexis responds.

"Unbelievable." Dean states, shaking his head.

After forcing Dean to sit through an entire episode of Grey's Anatomy, albeit with him commenting on how awful it was every few minutes, Sam walks out of the bedroom, looking slightly worried.

"I woke up and-and you weren't there. I thought… maybe it was a dream." he says, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Sam… I'm sorry. It's not a dream, I'm here, I'm okay."

"I'm uh, going to go get some food. But Sammy, Gabe said neither of them should be on their feet much. They both need rest." Dean says, standing up and grabbing his jacket before heading for the door.

The two stand there for a minute, Sam just staring at her before Alexis simply says, "Sam."

"I thought- I thought I lost you again… you were gone and when, god when I saw that store explode… I lost it, Lex. Dean had to, he had to hold me back, keep me from running into it…" Sam says, beginning to pace and ramble.

The way he was acting reminded her of the time back at the hospital after the fire, the first time he'd thought she died.

"Sam. Come here." she says.

He looks up at her with watery eyes and walks over, sitting down next to her.

She takes his hands in hers and says, "I'm okay. I'm sorry for the past few days, I am, even if it's not my fault. But I'm here now and I don't plan on going anywhere."

"You have no idea how much I missed you." Sam says as a tear runs down his face.  
She almost never saw him cry, and if he was crying now, she didn't want to even think about how much he cried the past four days.

"Come here." she says, opening her arms up.

He leans down, resting his head on her shoulder, and she wraps her arms around him.

"It's okay, I'm right here. Everything is okay." she says soothingly, trying her best to comfort him.

After holding him in her arms for a few minutes, she suggests, "Why don't you get some more sleep?"

Sam pulls his head back a bit to look at her and says, "You're the one who's supposed to be resting."

"I am resting. But you could use some more sleep, Sam." Alexis insists, taking note of how tired Sam seemed. There were bags under his eyes and he just looked exhausted.

"But I don't want to leave you." he says.

"Sam…" she trails off. Then she pulls a pillow onto her lap and pats it, silently telling him to put his head there.

He glances between the pillow and her a few times before finally laying his head down.

Alexis runs her fingers through his hair and says, "Just sleep. I'll be right here the whole time."

Sam gently nods and closes his eyes. Within minutes, he's asleep again.

* * *

Dean returns about an hour later with some groceries. When he walks into the living room and kitchen area, he raises a questioning eyebrow at Alexis.

"He's asleep." she responds.

"Oh, okay. Um, I got whatever I could think of since you should not be on your feet much the next few days, and I figured we could just order a pizza or something for dinner." Dean explains, setting the bags down on the counter.

"Sounds good. Did um, did someone call my mom?"

"I did. She and Bobby are on their way."

"Okay, thanks." she responds, anxious to see her mother.

Sam wakes up an hour later and Dean helps Jo out into the living room. Dean then orders a pizza and the four end up spending the most of the night in the living room, all four of them on the couch. The two sisters squashed between the Winchesters.

After the second movie they'd put in is over, Dean, who was on the left end of the couch, turns to face all three of them. "Alright, so Gabe said you two both need to rest, a lot. You're both going to need to build your strength back up, but that's going to take some time. Which means no hunting for either of you for a while." he says, taking on a tone of authority.

When Alexis doesn't say anything, Dean gives her an odd look and says, "What? No protest from you?"

"Not right now. I haven't felt this weak, in well, ever, I think. Not even after the fire. I could barely walk from my bed to the door on my own, Dean." Alexis says.

"She's right. We both nearly died. Gabriel even said had Lex waited five more minutes to call him, he might not have been able to save either of us. I don't plan on doing much of anything for at least a week." Jo says.

"Yeah, I don't plan on doing much for a few days either." Alexis adds.

"Okay then. It's late enough, why don't we all just go to bed?" Dean says.

The sisters both nod and Sam helps Alexis up and into their room while Dean helps Jo into her room.

"You didn't tell me you felt that weak." Sam says as he helps her into the bed.

"We haven't really talked." she replies. "Sam, I'm going to be fine, okay? I just need a few days and I'll be good as new. You don't have to worry." she adds upon seeing the concern on his face.

"I do have to worry." Sam mumbles while getting into the other side of the bed.

"I'm going to be fine." she repeats.

"I do have to worry about you, Lex. I worry that if I let you out of my sight you'll disappear. I worry that you're not going to be okay. I worry that I'm going to lose you again. I can't stop worrying about you." Sam says.

"Sam, look at me." she says firmly, causing him to bring his eyes to hers. "I'm not going anywhere, alright? I promise you that. And you know I don't make promises easily. But I am right here, and I'm going to stay right here. I will be okay, you know me. I'm always okay in the end. And you are not going to lose me again, not if I have anything to say about it."

"But…" Sam begins.

"No buts, alright? We are both going to be just fine." she says, trying to calm him down. Seeing him this freaked out kind of freaked her out.

Sam nods and lies down, pulling her as close to him as possible. He slides one arm around her waist and she rests her head on his chest. Neither of them say anything more, the two just lie there until they fall asleep.

The next morning, Alexis gets the strange feeling that someone was watching her. Sure enough, when she turns her head towards the doorway, she sees her mother.

"Mom." she says quietly, not wanting to wake Sam, who was still sound asleep right next to her.

Ellen walks over with tears in her eyes and perches herself on the edge of the bed. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

"I'm sorry." Alexis says, apologizing again.

"Don't apologize. I'm just so glad you and Jo are okay." her mother says.

"Yeah, me too." Alexis responds.

"I don't want to wake Sam, I just had to see you. I'll be out in the living room or with Jo." Ellen says, standing up.

Alexis nods and watches her mother walk out. When she glances over at the clock, she sees it's not quite six in the morning, so she decides to go back to sleep. She turns back over, resting her head on Sam's chest again, and closes her eyes, allowing Sam's heartbeat to lull her to sleep once more.

* * *

_A/N: So sorry this chapter is so short, I ended up finishing editing the story yesterday and came back and looked at what I had done for this chapter only to find I had no idea where to go with it. I did want to get something up though, since it's been almost two weeks without a new chapter. Please do let me know what you think though! _


	33. One Way Or Another

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 33: One Way Or Another**

The first full day that everyone was in Chicago was spent with everyone constantly fussing over Alexis and Jo. Both sisters were about ready to kill the next person to ask them if they were okay. Jo and Alexis spent most of the day on the couch. Anything they wanted or needed was brought to them and they were kept off their feet as much as possible. Between Bobby, Ellen, Sam, and Dean, neither sister could get any real rest.

The next day, Alexis woke up around 7 and for the first time caught the date when she checked her phone. _It's December 23rd? Holy shit. It's almost Christmas. _

"What's wrong?" Sam asks, now awake and looking at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"N-nothing, just tomorrow is Christmas Eve." she replies.

"It is?" Sam asks, clearly not having known the date either.

"Yeah. I didn't realize. Guess so much has happened the past few weeks that I haven't been paying attention."

"Guess so. So how are you feeling?"

"Why do you have to keep asking me that?" she responds.

"It's a valid question Lex, you nearly died about a week ago. So, how are you feeling?" Sam says, taking on a tone of concern once again.

"I'm fine, Sam. Alright?" Alexis says, growing increasingly tired of people asking her how she was doing.

"Fine with you is never fine. You should still be off your feet for the most part today." he replies.

"Fine means fine, Sam. And I want to make cookies now since tomorrow is Christmas Eve."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"They're just cookies. I can do it."

"You'd be on your feet too much." Sam points out.

"Standing up for an hour or so isn't going to kill me, Sam." she says. Seeing that he flinched at the last part she adds, "I know I scared you and I am sorry, but you can't keep babying me like this. I have to get moving around, even just a bit, I have to."

"Fine. But you're letting me help and you tell me if you need to sit down, okay?"

"You want to help bake?" Alexis asks disbelievingly.

"It'll go faster and then you won't be up as much." Sam says.

She rolls her eyes and says, "Whatever. I'm going to need some ingredients though."

"Make a list and one of us will go to the store." he responds.

"Yeah, okay."

Around 9, Ellen goes to the store to get groceries and the other five hunters are all in the living room watching TV. Alexis does end up making Christmas cookies, though they don't last until Christmas.

* * *

After Christmas, Ellen takes Bobby back to his house, leaving the Winchester brothers and the Harvelle sisters alone for the first time in over a week.

"Was that about a hunt?" Alexis asks Dean as he hangs up the phone. Jo was in her room and Sam had gone out to pick up lunch, leaving the two of them alone in the living room.

"Yeah, but I told him I'd send someone else." Dean replies.

"You and Sam should take it." she says.

"What? No." he says, taking a seat next to her on the couch.

"Jo and I would be fine. My mom's heading back this way after she drops Bobby off anyway. It's New Years Eve, Dean. We've all been here long enough. We need to start getting back to normal life."

"You and Jo can't hunt yet and Sam's not going to want to leave you, I don't really either."

"I know we can't hunt, but you two can. I'll talk to Sam, alright? You guys take the hunt, my mom can help Jo and I start getting our strength back and gradually training again. Then you guys can come back and we'll go from there." she says. They'd all been relatively locked in the apartment for a week and a half.

"Lex..."

"Dean…" she responds, mimicking his tone.

"Fine, I'll call him back and tell him we'll take it, but you're telling Sam." Dean says.

"Telling me what?" Sam asks, having just walked in. She hadn't even heard him.

"Got a call about a hunt in Oklahoma. Lex wants us to take it." Dean explains.

"We can't. She can't hunt yet." Sam says, not understanding what Dean meant.

"Without me." Alexis adds.

"No way." Sam responds firmly, setting down the food and joining them on the couch.

"Yes." she says.

"No. I don't want to leave you." Sam says.

"Sam, you both have been stuck in this apartment far too long. Go, take the hunt, and then come back. Jo and I will be fine, and maybe by the time you two are done I'll be okay to ease back into hunting."

"Lex…" Sam trails off, much like Dean had done minutes before.

"Sam, please, take the hunt." Alexis says.

"Fine. One hunt and then we come right back." Sam says.

"I'll call the guy back. Tell him we'll head out tomorrow." Dean says, standing up and pulling out his phone.

"Sam, I promise you I will be fine, alright? Don't worry about leaving me. My mom will be back before you two leave and she can help Jo and I start training a bit, getting our strength back." Alexis says upon seeing the hesitation on Sam's face.

"I just… we haven't been apart since I thought you were dead and…"

"I know, I know, but we can't be together every second of every day, and it's just one hunt."

Sam sighs and says, "I know. Promise me you'll be careful?"

"You're the one going on a hunt. You should be promising me that you'll be careful." Alexis says with a laugh.

"Yeah, yeah." he responds, shaking his head.

They spend the rest of the day not doing much and end up watching the ball drop at midnight before going to bed. The next morning Ellen returns and the Winchesters take off for Oklahoma. The first four days that Sam and Dean are gone the Harvelles spend trying to get back to normal. Alexis and Jo started out with just walking a mile at first, doing small exercises, and slowly working up. By the time Sam called to say the hunt was finished and they were going to head back, Alexis knew she wasn't quite ready and needed a few more days.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Hey." Sam says, not sounding too great.

"You okay?" she asks.

"Am now. Listen, we just finished the hunt and we're going to head back to Chicago."

"Actually, I've got another hunt you two should take. Dean's phone that he left here rang and it was someone named Donna that you two used to know. It's in Massachusetts, I told her you two would call her back." Alexis says.

"Lex, that wasn't the deal." Sam says.

"I know, but I don't think I'm quite ready to go back to hunting yet. I need a bit more time. You two should take this one, please."

"I don't like being away from you for this long."

"I know, one more okay? Then you two can head back here."

"Fine. What's the number?" Sam says.

She gives him the number and information and then goes to see if Jo wanted to take a walk.

* * *

By the time the Winchesters do return around the middle of January, Alexis felt she was ready to ease back into hunting. Ellen and Jo head back to the roadhouse and Alexis stays with the boys. They pick up a few easier hunts, both brothers very carefully watching Alexis the whole time. They were in some random motel when Anna visits Dean in a dream, gives him an address to meet him at. Instead of any of them going though, Castiel goes.

When the angel returns, he announces that Anna wants to kill Sam.

"He what?" Alexis and Dean say.

Cas explains further and then begins working on something.

Sam, who was sitting on the bed, asks, "So the plan to kill me would it actually stop Satan?"

"No Sam, come on." Dean interjects while Alexis says, "No. No way."

"Cas, what do you think? Does Anna have a point?" Sam continues.

After sharing a look with both Dean and Alexis, Cas says, "No."

Cas continues working to find Anna and finally announces that she has gone back in time to 1978.

"What? Why 1978? I wasn't even born yet." Sam says, standing up and joining Alexis and Dean.

"You won't be if she kills your parents." Cas says. Then, stepping closer, he says, "Anna can't get to you because of me so she's going after them."

"Take us back right now." Dean says.

"And deliver you right to Anna? I should go alone."

"They're our parents, Cas. We're going." Dean says.

"It's not that easy." the angel responds.

"Why not?" Sam asks.

"Time travel is difficult even with the powers of Heaven at my disposal. Taking this trip, with passengers no less, it'll weaken me." Castiel explains.

"They're our mom and dad, if we can save them, and not just from Anna, if we can set things right, we have to try." Dean says.

"I'll stay here." Alexis adds in, causing both brothers to turn to her.

"What? No." the Winchesters say simultaneously.

"They are your parents, not mine. Go. I'll just wait here." Alexis says.

Reluctantly, they go without her.

At some point late that night, Sam just randomly appears by himself.

"Sam!" she exclaims, practically flying off the bed and running to him. He looked a little lightheaded and was swaying a bit.

"Hey, I got you." she says, wrapping an arm around him and supporting him.

She leads him over to the bed and gets him to sit down. "Where's Dean and Cas?" she asks, curious as to how Sam just appeared.

"I uh, I don't know. I don't know what happened." he says.

"Um, okay. I'm sure they'll both show up. Did you guys stop Anna?"

"She… she killed me." he mumbles.

"Wh-what?" Alexis asks, not sure how that could be possible.

"She stabbed me in the gut, I'm pretty sure I was dead, I uh, I don't know what happened or how I'm here. This is not Heaven because I can guarantee you we would not be in a motel in my Heaven." Sam says, his face lightening up a bit at the end.

"Damn. And no, this isn't Heaven." she says, giving him a small smile.

"I guess we just wait then. Hopefully Dean and Cas show up." she adds a minute later.

"Yeah, I guess." he responds, leaning his head down to rest on her shoulder.

They sit in silence for a few minutes until Dean appears.

He explains what happened. How Uriel was with Anna, how Michael showed up and possessed John and killed Anna, then brought Sam back and sent him back, talked to Dean, and then sent Dean back.

"Damn." Alexis says. "Where's Cas?"

"I don't know." Dean responds.

The next morning, Castiel appears out of the blue and promptly passes out.

They each grab a drink and Dean says, "This is it."

"This is what?" Sam asks.

"Team Free Will. One ex blood junkie, one drop out with six bucks to his name, little miss angel grace, and mister comatose over there. Awesome." Dean says.

"That's not funny." Sam says.

"I'm not laughing." Dean responds.

"They all say we'll say yes." Sam says.

This was becoming one of those conversations that left Alexis feeling awkward, like she just didn't belong there with them. Realizing this, she steps outside of the motel room. She didn't like where the conversation was heading and frankly didn't want to hear it. By the time Sam came out to find her, she was sitting on the hood of the Impala.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks, taking a seat next to her.

"Thinking." she responds.

"Care to elaborate?"

"We're not all going to make it out of this are we?" she asks, turning her head to face him.

"Lex…" Sam trails off.

"We aren't. I'm going to lose you, one way or another, I can feel it." she says sadly. She had the feeling she was right. One or possibly even both brothers were not going to make it out of this. If Dean died, she'd lose Sam, if Sam died, she'd lose Sam. If somehow she died instead of or before either of them, she'd lose Sam. Basically, she was screwed.

"Hey, no, no. You aren't going to lose me." he insists, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her over to him.

"You don't know that." she mumbles, placing her head on his shoulder.

"I don't plan on going anywhere, okay? We're all going to get through this. We'll figure something out. Now come on back inside, it's cold out here. You'll get sick."

Without another word, she slides off the hood and walks back to the motel room, Sam trailing behind her.

* * *

They head out of town later that day and stop at a different motel that night. Alexis wasn't able to sleep at all, something that was becoming more frequent again. She hadn't gotten more than six hours of sleep since Christmas. She'd wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares, her heart racing, and be unable to get herself back to sleep. The nightmares all had one thing in common: losing the people she cared about. Lately, it was Lucifer in Sam, killing Dean, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Arizona, Ellie, Jake, and Ryan, while she watched. They were becoming more and more frequent too, causing her to get less and less sleep. Tonight she didn't even bother with sleeping, she had too much on her mind, so she slips out of the motel room and goes to sit on the hood of the Impala. She was trying to figure out how she'd be able to move on without Sam if she lost him, but she couldn't. She had absolutely no idea how to live without Sam. Without being able to hear his voice every day, have him tell her things were going to be okay, even if he wasn't sure himself. All she knew was that her gut was telling her come this summer, she was going to be without him, one way or another, and she couldn't shake that feeling, no matter how hard she tried.

Forty-five minutes later, Dean walks out and takes a seat on the hood next to her. "What are you doing out here? It's almost two in the morning." he says.

"Couldn't sleep. Didn't want to wake either of you." she replies.

"Don't tell me it's happening again."

"What?"

"You not sleeping." he responds.

She just shrugs her shoulders in lieu of a verbal response.

"Lex." he says firmly.

"What?" she says, turning her head towards him.

"When's the last time you slept for more than a few hours?" he asks, voice laced with concern.

"Define a few."

"Five or six."

"Around Christmas." she mumbles quietly.

"Christmas? Lex that was a month ago."

She just shrugs again, not really sure what to say.

"What's going on with you? Why didn't you tell us you weren't sleeping?" he asks, concern written all over his face.

"It doesn't matter." she responds.

"Yes it does. You need to be sleeping, Alexis."

_He used my full name, that's never good. _"I can't, alright? Just go back inside."

"Not going to happen. What's going on?" he says firmly.

"Nothing, Dean."

"Alexis." he warns, making it clear his patience was running out.

"I can't sleep without nightmares waking me up within a couple hours, so tonight I just didn't go to bed." she explains.

"Nightmares about what?" he asks.

"Losing Sam. Losing everyone I love." she responds sadly, taking her eyes away from his.

"That's not going to happen."

"You don't know that, Dean. I just…"

"You just what?"

"I just can't shake the feeling that I'm going to lose one or both of you. That come summer, I'm going to be alone and Sam's going to be gone."

"Lex that's-" he begins.

She cuts him off, "You can't tell me that's not going to happen because you don't know that. I mean we're talking the apocalypse here, Dean, the freaking apocalypse. One way or another, Heaven or Hell is going to get to you or Sam. And then it's over. We lose."

"You think one of us is going to say yes." Dean states, sounding somewhat disappointed.

"I'm starting to not see any other way." she responds.

"We're going to find one, okay? You are not going to end up alone, Alexis. I promise you that. Now come on, it's freezing out here. You're going to get sick."

"You go ahead." she replies, not ready to go back inside.

"You need to sleep, Lex. Come inside, please." Dean says, sliding off the hood and extending his hand to her.

She sighs and says, "Fine." Then she takes his hand and slides off the hood as well.

"And Lex? Just talk to one of us about your nightmares next time, okay? We can help if you'll let us."

"Yeah, okay." she responds, walking ahead of him and back inside.

Once back inside, she lies down next to Sam again, who instinctually wraps his arm around her. She turns to face him and rests her head on his chest, thinking that maybe if she listened to his heartbeat and knew he was still there, she'd be able to sleep. Eventually, about a half an hour later, she does fall asleep and manages to get four or five hours of sleep.

* * *

**-Sam-centric POV-**

When he opens his eyes, he finds the room still dark, meaning he was the first one up. Or so he thought. He turns to face Alexis and sees that she's still asleep, so he glances at the clock to see that it's just after six in the morning. He then notices that Dean isn't sleeping, just sitting up in his bed staring off.

"You're up early." Sam says. When they didn't have a hunt, it wasn't like Dean to be up before seven or eight.

"I've been up since before two." Dean responds.

"What? Why?"

"Woke up some time before two and noticed Alexis wasn't in here. So I walked outside and found her sitting on the Impala. Finally got her to tell me she hadn't been sleeping, so when I got her back in here, I wanted to make sure she actually slept." Dean explains.

Sam glances down at Alexis and then says, "Not sleeping again? Dammit. How do we keep missing this?"

"I don't know, Sammy, I don't know. But she said she hadn't gotten more than five to six hours of sleep a night since Christmas."

Sam's eyes widen as he says, "Christmas? That was over a month ago!"

"I know. She said nightmares kept waking her up. Getting that girl to talk when she doesn't want to is nearly impossible."

"Tell me about it. Were you able to get her to say anything about her nightmares?" Sam says, glancing at Alexis again. _How the hell did I not realize she wasn't sleeping well again? _

"Basically being alone." Dean responds.

"She told me earlier yesterday that she has this feeling that she was going to lose me, one way or another." Sam says, thinking back on that conversation.

"She has a point, Sam. Back when I uh, I died she lost us both. You left her and I was gone. So I think she feels like one of us aren't going to make it out of this, and then the one that does is going to leave her too."

"Fuck." Sam says. "Right in the middle where she was never supposed to be…" he adds quietly, something Alexis had said to him a while ago that was just now making sense.

"What?" Dean asks.

"A while ago Lex said one of the angels, I can't remember if it was Cas or Gabriel, told her that she was going to be stuck right in the middle, where she was never supposed to be. I get it now." Sam explains.

"Dammit. Alright, I want you to promise me something," Dean says, causing Sam to take his eyes off of Alexis and up to Dean.

"What?"

"If she's right, if one of us doesn't make it out of this and if it's me, promise me you won't leave her." Dean says.

"Only if you promise me that if it's me, you won't leave her." Sam says, not wanting to think of Alexis being alone.

"I promise." Dean responds.

"I promise too then." Sam says.

"Good. Now she's only slept for a little under four hours so I think we should see how much longer she'll sleep. She could use all the sleep she can get and we don't have anywhere to be." Dean says, changing the subject.

Sam glances back down at Alexis and says, "Yeah. Sounds like a good idea."

"Alright, well I'm going to go get some breakfast then." Dean says, now getting out of bed.

"Okay, I think I'll shower soon." Sam replies.

Dean nods, pulls on a jacket, and then heads out the door.

After watching Alexis and thinking for another twenty minutes, he gets up to shower. He was still kind of beating himself up for not catching on to the fact that she wasn't sleeping much.

About ten minutes after he got in the shower, the bathroom door opens and Alexis walks in with somewhat of a scared expression on her face, one he wasn't used to seeing.

"I-I woke up and you both were gone and…" she says quietly, trailing off.

"Come here." he says.

"What?" she questions, looking at him oddly.

"Just get in the shower with me." he responds.

With another odd look, Alexis slips out of the shirt of his and the underwear she was in and steps in the shower.

"You are not going to end up alone, okay? It's not going to happen." he tells her once she's standing in front of him.

"Dean told you?" she says, looking up at him with heavy eyes.

"Yeah, he did. You should have though, Lex. You should have told me you weren't sleeping again as soon as it started."

'I know… it's just if I stay up… I can see you both, know you're there." Alexis responds quietly.

"Lex… come here." he says, pulling her closer to him, so her head was on his chest, and he wraps his arms around her, letting the water cascade down his back. Maybe it was the fact that they were both naked and in the shower, but she felt smaller in his arms than he was used to. Thinking back, he realized she'd been eating a bit less too. That combined with the bit of muscle she would've lost back in December was probably it.

"I'm sorry." she says quietly, wrapping her arms tightly around him too.

"It's okay, we're all going to be okay." he says soothingly.

The two stand like until the hot water begins to run cold and he quickly finishes his shower and the two get out. He steps out first, wrapping a towel around his waist, and then grabs one for her and wraps it around her as she steps out. "You didn't sleep much last night, you should sleep more on the road." he says, his arms around her once again, just from the back this time.

She just nods and leans back, resting her head on his chest once more.

"Dean went for breakfast, he should be back soon, so we should probably get dressed." he says.

She nods again but doesn't move.

On impulse, Sam lifts her up bridal style and carries her out of the room.

"Sam!" she squeals, clearly not enjoying the sudden change in position. He knew she hated being carried, but sometimes he just couldn't help it.

He carries her out of the room and sets her down on the bed while she gives him an unamused look.

"You know I don't like when you do that." she says.

"I know. But you know I enjoy doing that." he says with a laugh.

She simply sticks her tongue out at him in response.

Sam shakes his head and goes to get changed.

"Did I ever tell you how much I like your ass?" she says randomly as he was about to pull on underwear.

He turns to face her and upon seeing the amused smile on her face, he walks over to her and pulls her to a standing position, this time dropping her towel.

"Sam! Dean could walk in at any minute and we're both standing here naked." she says, still laughing.

"Then you better get dressed." he says, smirking at her.

She shakes her head and walks away from him.

"I like your ass too by the way." he adds a second later, causing her to whirl around with a mixed expression of shock and amusement on her face.

Sam just laughs and walks after her, back over to his clothes.

Fifteen minutes later, they're both dressed and Dean is walking back through the door with food. He frowns slightly upon seeing Alexis awake and then sets the food down.

"Took you long enough." Sam says.

"I picked up food for us but then went to find a store that was open so I could get something for her to eat." Dean explains, pulling out a muffin, a granola bar, and a Sprite and handing it to Alexis. "I thought she'd still be asleep anyway."

"I'm not that hungry." Alexis says, taking the food from him nonetheless.

"You should eat, Lex." Sam says.

She doesn't say anything else and Dean opens the other bag of food, handing Sam some type of breakfast sandwich and coffee. As they all eat, he watches as Alexis only eats the granola bar and puts the muffin away. He doesn't say anything then but vows to bring it up once they were alone again.

After they eat, they pack up and hit the road. Sam sits in the back with Alexis and insists she get some more sleep, which she does. They end up stopping in St. Louis and Dean heads to a bar, leaving Sam and Alexis alone again.

She was sitting on the bed channel surfing when he decides to bring up the topic of her eating less and not sleeping.

"Lex? Can I talk to you about something?" he says.

At the tone in his voice, her head snaps up and she shuts the TV off. "Sure. What's up?"

"I want to be able to say this without you yelling at me or just shutting me down, okay?" he says, walking over and taking a seat next to her.

"Sam, what's going on?" she asks, now looking slightly worried.

"When we were in the shower this morning I noticed you felt a bit smaller. And I know that could be from what happened last month, from losing some muscle because you were weakened, but then when you barely ate breakfast and didn't eat much lunch, I realized you hadn't been eating as much at all since then. And now you aren't sleeping well, what's going on Lex?"

"I didn't really notice. I guess it's just that when something big comes up that either needs a lot of my focus or causes me to constantly worry, like with Lilith and now with the apocalypse, it takes the biggest place in my mind and well, taking care of myself kind of gets pushed to the side. I don't exactly mean to not look after myself, it just kinda happens." she says.

"That's not good, Lex. You have to take care of yourself."

"I know, it's just not that easy to change, especially when I don't really notice I'm doing it."

"Well I'm going to help with that. Let's go get some dinner." Sam says, standing up and pulling her up with him.

"Fine, but I'm-"

"I swear if you say you're not hungry..."

"Old habits die hard, Sam. Let's just go." she responds, heading towards the door.

Sam just shakes his head and follows her out. _I'm just going to have to watch her more closely and remind her to take care of herself, _he thinks to himself as he shuts the door behind them.

* * *

_A/N: I realize this should've been included in the last chapters notes, but I obviously didn't kill Jo and Ellen. I'm not saying they'll never die, but I do know what I'm going to do with them. On another note, this chapter covers a good month and a half of time. The timeline for season five is really spotty and doesn't give much date wise, so I'm working with what I've got. The two episodes skipped over in this chapter were 5x11 and 5x12. 5x13 was touched on and 5x14 will be done in full in the next chapter. I'm trying to get away from the angsty stuff between Sam and Alexis, but it's hard. The second half of this season really isn't too happy, so it may be a while. Besides, happiness in SPN is almost nonexistent. Also, I__'m sorry this chapter was another shorter one, the next should be longer. _


	34. Words

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it, I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 34: Words**

"You sure you don't want to come?" Sam asks.

"I'm sure. You go, check out the crime scene, talk to the person who found them, and then come back and tell us." Alexis replies.

"Alright, I'll be back." Sam says.

Sam then walks out the door, leaving Alexis and Dean in the motel room. It was the 14th, the Valentine's Day. She hated Valentine's Day, and this one was turning out to be rather awful too. They were already one and a half months into the year and still had relatively nothing on stopping the apocalypse.

"You okay?" Dean asks.

"Fine." she replies, shrugging him off.

"Whatever you say." he responds, clearly not wanting to argue with her right now.

Since she still wasn't sleeping too well, she decides to try and a take a nap. "I think I might get some sleep, if I can." she says a few minutes later.

"You still not sleeping well?" Dean asks, looking up from the laptop.

"Not really." she replies.

"Alright, see if you can get some sleep then. I'll head to the coroner's."

She nods and lies down on the bed, falling asleep twenty minutes later.

She's woken up when Sam returns, she hadn't even heard Dean come back in .

He explains that there was no EMF or sulfur, so ghost possession and demonic possession were probably out.

"Well what then?" Dean asks.

"Seriously? What would cause two people to just… eat each other to death?" Alexis says, sitting up in bed and shivering at the thought of what she just said. Not much got to her anymore when it came to cases, but this one was just weird.

"Well, we got our feelers out, not much more we can do tonight… Alright, I'm just going to go through some files, you can go ahead and get going." Sam tells Dean, taking a seat across from him.

"Sorry?" Dean asks, seemingly confused.

Alexis was still in bed, just sitting up watching the two of them.

"Go ahead. See you tomorrow morning." Sam says.

"Where am I going?" Dean asks.

_Does he not know it's Valentine's Day? _

"Dean, it's Valentine's Day, your favorite holiday, remember? What do you always call it? Unattached drifter Christmas?"

"Ah yeah, well I don't know, I guess I'm not feeling it this year." Dean says, standing up and grabbing a beer from the cooler on the counter.

"Who are you and what have you done with Dean Winchester?" Alexis asks, looking at him with an eyebrow raised and her head slightly tilted.

"What?" Dean responds.

"So you're not into bars full of lonely women?" Sam says.

"Guess not." Dean says, taking another swig of his beer.

"What?" Dean asks upon seeing the looks she and Sam were giving him.

"It's when a dog doesn't eat. That's when you know something's really wrong." Sam says.

"Remarkably patronizing concern duly noted. Nothing's wrong. But if you two want to be alone, I'll go to the library or something." Dean says.

"Did you just say library?" Alexis asks, now actually growing concerned. _What was going on with him? _

"Yeah, the place with books? Figured you two would be pretty familiar with it." Dean responds.

"Fine, go there." Sam says.

"I will. Just don't do anything on my bed, will you?" Dean says, giving them both slightly disgusted looks.

"Dean!" Alexis exclaims.

"I'm going, I'm going." Dean responds and then is out the door.

Sam walks over and takes a seat on the bed next to her. "You know, I think this is the first Valentine's Day we've actually been together on." he says.

"Yeah, I think so." she replies. "Fair warning though, I hate Valentine's Day."

"What? Why?" Sam asks.

"I just do. I've never liked it. I mean back in school, I was the weird kid, the quiet kid who barely said a word. So when it came to Valentine's Day, I was either left out entirely or I'd get creepy ones. I wouldn't be asked to the dance when there was one, some kid would be dared to do it. I never really had a boyfriend, not when I was in school at least. Kids… god kids were so cruel. Eighth grade was awful since I was no longer at the same school as Jo. I was teased mercilessly, Sam. I was the girl who could shoot a gun, the girl who had no dad, the girl with more muscle than half the guys, the girl who was depressed, the freak. School was just awful for me all around, but on holidays such as Valentine's Day, it was ten times worse. And every Valentine's Day after I was done with school I was either alone, like one of the girls you were just talking about Dean hooking up with, or with some douchey guy, like Kyle. So I'd rather we just treat this like any other day, any case. Okay?" Alexis explains.

"Lex, I had no idea. I'm sorry." he says, looking at her with sorrow but also understanding.

"We never really talked about ourselves when we were younger, you couldn't have known. Don't be sorry." she responds.

"Is that why you left when you were 16? Finished online?"

"Yeah, part of it. School wasn't quite the same for me as it was for you and Dean I'm guessing, because I wasn't always the new kid. We lived in the same place, which almost made it worse, at least for me. Because I knew everyone and everyone knew me, but they all hated me or thought I was a freak. Jo and I, we never really had friends, not from school at least. Our only friends were hunters' kids that would come through the roadhouse, like Luke and Alyssa. We were the kids that people whispered about, made jokes about. And by being with the same people every year, we couldn't escape it. So yeah, by the time I was 16, I was more than ready to get the hell out of there."

"I had no idea. You're right. We never really have talked about much of our pasts, before we met each other. And you're also right, that is much different. Dean and I were constantly at new schools. Never spent a whole year in one place. Guess I never really thought about what it would have been like to be at the same one. Also guess I never realized exactly how lucky I was to have Dean. He was the kind of kid, or well teenager, that you did not want to see coming your way, especially if he was pissed off at you. So anyone who picked on me had to answer to him. Back then I hated that he always felt like he had to protect me but I never thought about how it would've been without him."

"You were lucky to have Dean, still are. I'd have given absolutely anything to have still had Matt, still would." Alexis responds. As much as she hated thinking about her past, having an actual conversation like this with Sam was nice. It was a good change from talking about hunts or him making sure she was eating and sleeping.

"I couldn't imagine losing Dean, especially when I was 8. I mean, my mom died when I was a baby, I never really knew her so I guess I couldn't miss her, not the way Dean could and does. I didn't know any different. All I knew was living with Dean and my dad, motel to motel. But you had a full family up until you were 6, and then you lost your dad, and then your brother. I don't know what I would've done." Sam says.

The two were now sitting cross-legged facing each other on the bed.

"I didn't. I didn't know what to do, how to keep going. I was 6, I shouldn't have had to know, and I'd say how I did deal with it definitely wasn't great."

"You dealt with it the only way you could figure out, Lex. Sure, maybe it's caused some problems for you that haven't gone away, but you beat them every time. Don't beat yourself up about it." he says sincerely, squeezing one of her hands in his.

"Yeah, I guess. So what do you think is up with Dean? I mean, that was beyond weird for him, right?" Alexis says, changing the subject.

"I don't know. That was really odd for him. Since when does he turn down the chance to go to a bar and pick up some girls? Something about this whole thing seems odd actually. Have you, like, felt anything?" Sam responds.

"He doesn't, that's not like him. And yeah, I mean two people literally ate each other. Not many things weird me out anymore, but that does. But felt anything? What do you mean? Have you?"

"Yeah. This is one of the weirdest cases I've ever seen. And I don't know, it's like I've been itching for something, I just can't put my finger on it."

"I think I know what you mean. Something does just feel weird." she replies, knowing what Sam meant. She almost wanted to smoke, but she figured that was just from quitting not too long ago, so she didn't say anything.

"Yeah. So, since you're not a Valentine's Day fan, and we do have pretty much the rest of the day, is there anything you want to do? You were sleeping when I got back, are you still not sleeping well?"

"I don't know, a movie? There's actually one that came out today that I wouldn't mind seeing. And no, not really." She says, remembering she'd heard about the movie Valentine's Day coming out.

"What is it? And Lex, that's not good."

"It's actually called Valentine's Day. And I know, but I'm trying."

"So you hate Valentine's Day, but you want to go see a movie called Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day?" Sam asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Yes. The cast is kinda awesome. Taylor Swift is in it. And then the guys, well, they're kinda hot. Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey, Bradley Cooper, Taylor Lautner…" Alexis says, laughing at the look on Sam's face.

"I don't think I like this." he responds.

She just laughs at him again and says, "None of them are you, Sam. They're just… nice to look at."

Sam shakes his head and gets off the bed, walking over to the laptop.

"What are you doing?" she asks, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Seeing if I can find a theatre for this damn movie." he responds.

"So you'll go see it?" she asks, a smile on her face.

"Yes, I'll go see it."

"Yay! Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. I found one, starts in forty minutes. We can just call Dean and let him know." Sam tells her.

"Alright, let me change." Alexis replies, grabbing her bag and turning towards the bathroom. _I guess Valentine's Day isn't so bad when it's with Sam, _she thinks to herself.

They do end up seeing the movie, Sam complaining through a good chunk of it while Alexis watched in entertainment. It wasn't her fault there was such a good-looking male cast.

* * *

The next day, all three head to the morgue as there was another case of odd deaths the previous night, another double suicide. As they're walking down the hallway, they pass a man in a suit carrying a briefcase. Sam looked at him oddly and Alexis got a weird feeling as they passed him, but she didn't think much of it, this whole case was giving her an odd feeling. The coroner tells them he'd just finished the autopsies, but they were free to see what they could find. They just had to lock up when they were done.

They were sitting at a table going through the containers of intestines and other internal body parts when Dean open's one of the heart containers and slides it to Sam, joking, "Be my Valentine?"

Sam spots something on it though and grabs the container with the other heart. "These hearts both have identical marks. Looks like some kinda letter… Oh no." Sam says.

"What?" Alexis asks, standing up and walking behind him so she could see.

"I think it's Enochian." Sam states.

"So you think it's like the tagging on our ribs?" Dean says.

"Wait, aren't cupids called cherubs and considered an angel? I mean it could explain why it's Enochian and on the heart." Alexis says.

"Cupid? Really?" Dean says.

"I don't know, it's my best guess." she responds.

"It could be. Why don't you call Cas, Dean?" Sam says.

Dean does and a minute or so later, Cas appears in the morgue.

Once Cas examines them, he says they are Enochian.

"I thought maybe a cherub, a cupid?" Alexis says.

"That's exactly what it's from. It's a mark of union, this man and woman were intended to mate." Castiel says.

"So cupids are real?" Dean says.

"Yes, they are a low class angel. How did you know about them, Alexis?"

"I don't know. After the whole dying and spending months with angels thing, after I well, came back to life, I did some research. When I saw the Enochian on the hearts, I kinda just put two and two together." she explains. _A cupid. As if this case couldn't get any weirder._

"Okay, so what you're saying is-" Sam begins.

Cas cuts him off rather loudly, saying, "What I'm saying is a cupid has gone rogue and we have to stop him before he kills again."

"Naturally." Sam responds.

"So what? We kill cupid? If that doesn't say happy Valentine's Day, I don't know what does." Alexis adds.

After the morgue, they head to a restaurant where Castiel says the cherub would be.

Dean orders a burger and Sam orders a salad, Cas of course gets nothing. Neither does Alexis.

"You should eat something, Lex." Sam says.

He had definitely been watching her more closely, frequently reminding her to eat. It wasn't like she was trying not to eat, she just had gotten used to eating less and truly wasn't hungry as often, definitely not as often as either brother. And right now, coming from the morgue after handling intestines, she was not hungry whatsoever.

"I'm just not hungry. After the morgue and everything, I don't feel like eating." she says.

He raises an eyebrow at her so she says, "I'll eat something later, okay?"

"Okay." Sam responds, letting the subject drop.

Once the food comes, Dean ends up not eating.

"Wait a minute, you're not hungry?" Sam asks in disbelief.

"No." Dean responds.

At the look Sam gives him, he adds, "What? I'm not hungry."

"Then you're not going to finish that?" Castiel asks, drawing weird looks from all of them.

The angel then takes the burger, but before eating, he announces that the cherub was there.

"Meet me in the back." he says and then vanishes.

A few minutes later, they find Castiel in the back, his hand outstretched.

"Cas! Where is he?" Sam asks.

"I have him tethered." the angel responds. He then says some chant and the cherub appears right behind Dean, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

At the sight of him, this big naked man, Alexis steps slightly behind Sam, not really wanting to be hugged the way the cupid was hugging Dean.

He then releases Dean, who looked incredibly unhappy, and walks over and embraces Castiel.

"This is cupid?" Dean asks.

"Yes." Cas responds.

Cupid turns around, eyes on Sam, and says, "And look at you."

"No." Sam says, trying to avoid him, but fails.

"Is this a fight? Are we in a fight?" Dean asks.

"This is their handshake." Cas explains.

Once the cupid releases Sam, he turns to Alexis. "And you. I've heard a lot about you."

"Me?" she asks, stepping behind Dean and Castiel.

"Yes you, silly." the cupid says, appearing right behind her and pulling her into a hug before she could protest. Unpleasant didn't even begin to describe it.

Sam and Dean pull her away from him, saying, "That's enough."

Once she's out of his grip, Sam pulls her over to him, one arm wrapped around her protectively. Apparently, he didn't enjoy seeing some naked guy hugging her.

"Wh-why have you heard a lot about me?" she asks, not exactly sure she wanted to know.

"You're a pretty big deal. You and Sam seem to be a very popular topic." the cupid explains.

"Us? Why? Wait, we're not like, matched, are we?" Alexis asks.

"No. You two are a controversial pairing. Sam has demon blood, therefore most angels find him to be an abomination, and you have angel grace, Alexis, which most angels also don't agree with. You're both nearly opposites. One has roots in Hell, the other Heaven." the cupid explains.

"That's- that's just great." Alexis mumbles.

"So, what can I do for you?" the cupid asks, turning to Castiel.

The cupid, or the cherub, whatever, didn't seem to know that his targets had been killing each other. He was rather upset about it, said he didn't do it. He even began to cry.

Cas reads his mind and says he was telling the truth. Dean picks up on something and asks whose orders the cupid was following. They were from Heaven. Apparently certain couples needed to be matched, certain bloodlines, certain destinies, and John and Mary Winchester were one of them because Sam and Dean needed to be born. That pissed Dean off enough to punch the cupid, causing him to flee. Dean, not wanting to talk about anything else, walks off.

* * *

Later, Sam had headed to the morgue again and Dean had gone to the police station, leaving Alexis back at the motel alone. She wasn't sure what it was, but she couldn't resist smoking any longer, so she was standing outside, smoking. _Just one won't hurt, right? _

Dean returns first and she puts out the cigarette before he could spot her, but she gets an odd look from him. "Why are you standing outside?"

"Just getting some air. What'd you find?" she asks, turning back towards the room with him on her heels.

Dean explains that there were eight suicides since Wednesday and nineteen overdoses.

"Damn, that's way abnormal." she says, taking a seat.

"Yeah, I know. Sam's headed back here and I guess we'll go from there. Why does it smell like smoke?"

"It does?" she responds, trying to shake it off. He did not need to know she was smoking again.

"Lex, were you smoking? Is that why you were outside?" Dean asks, now giving her a slightly disappointed look.

She casts her eyes downward, not proud of the fact that she'd broken down and smoked again.

"Lex?"

"It was just one, alright?"

"I thought you quit." Dean says.

"I did." she replies.

"Then why were you smoking?"

"I don't know! Why are you acting so weird? Not eating?"

"Hey, don't turn this on me. Besides, you're hardly eating too." he defends, clearly not wanting to talk about himself.

"Something weird is going on here, Dean. I mean I haven't had the urge to smoke in a while and I just did, Cas wanted your burger, that you oddly did not want, at the restaurant, and there's a much higher number of suicides and overdoses." she points out.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Let's just wait for Sam." Dean says, taking a seat at the table.

When Sam does return, he says he found a demon and took the briefcase from it.

Once they'd all changed, they stand staring at it.

They go to attempt to open the briefcase and it flies open, a bright white light flying out of it at first. "What the hell was that?" Dean asks.

"It was a human soul."

At the sudden fourth voice in the room, the three whirl around and find Castiel standing there with a bag of burgers in his hand.

_Something odd is definitely going on here. _

Cas explains that everything was starting to make sense. The town was suffering from hunger. Specifically famine.

"Like the horsemen?" Alexis asks, realizing where her urge to smoke again was coming from.

Cas nods.

"Great, that's freaking great." Dean says.

"I thought famine meant starvation, like you know, as in food." Sam says.

"Yes, absolutely, but not just food, I mean everyone seems to be starving for something. Sex, attention, drugs, love."

"Smoking." Dean adds.

"What?" Sam asks.

"Lex was smoking earlier." Dean says.

"What? Lex?" Sam says, turning to her.

"It was just one. I couldn't help it. I think we have bigger problems here anyway." she says.

Cas repeats a few lines about Famine, making everything start to make more sense.

"Does the hunger grow stronger the closer you get to him?" Alexis asks.

"Yes." the angel responds.

"Then how are we supposed to get close enough to get the ring from him?" she questions.

"I do not know." Cas responds.

While Cas and Dean were talking more, Sam was in the bathroom.

She steps inside and asks, "Sam? You okay?"

He was shaking and looked rather freaked out.

"Sam? Is it the demons? Are you… craving demon blood?"

He brings his eyes to hers and sadly nods.

"Alright, alright, we'll figure something out, okay? It's going to be okay." she tells him, placing her hand on his arm and squeezing, trying to give him some comfort.

He nods in response but didn't look too confident about it.

"Let's roll." Dean says.

"Dean, I um, I can't." Sam says, stepping out of the bathroom after Alexis.

Once Dean figures it out, Sam says, "Before you go, you better… you better lock me down."

Reluctantly, Dean handcuffs Sam to the sink in the bathroom.

"I'm staying too." Alexis says, unable to leave him all alone like that.

"What? No. Go." Sam says.

"Sam, I'm not leaving you like this. I can keep you company, try and keep your mind off of it. They can go and stop Famine. Besides, all Famine would have to do is throw me a lighter and some cigarettes and I'd probably end up lighting myself on fire. I shouldn't go." Alexis says, taking a seat on the floor across from Sam.

"Fine." Sam says.

"Alright, you two sit tight. We'll be back." Dean says, walking out with Cas. She hears them move the dresser in front of the door, keeping them in the bathroom.

"Lex, whatever I say, don't let me out of these." Sam tells her.

"Okay." she responds. She hated seeing him like this, all she wanted to do was let him out of them and hold him and tell him it was going to be okay.

After a few minutes of hearing him breathe unevenly and grow more and more freaked out, she tries to get his mind off of it, despite her urge to walk outside and smoke.

"Sam, look at me." she says.

He brings his eyes to hers, frankly resembling a sad puppy.

"Just try to not think about it, okay? Focus on me. You can tell me what you thought about the movie we saw the other day."

"That movie was awful." he responds, managing a small smile.

"It wasn't that bad." she says.

"Yes it was!"

She sees him struggling again and scoots over to him so that she was next to him, her back against the wall. She puts her hand on his arm, rubbing her thumb gently against him. "They're going to get his ring and everything's going to be okay. Just a little longer." she says soothingly. "Just try to relax."

"I remember the first day we met, well really met. Do you?" Alexis says, trying anything to keep his mind off of demon blood.

"Of course I do. I even remember what you were wearing." Sam replies.

"You do?" she asks, not sure she herself remembered what she was wearing.

"Of course I do. You had on a black and purple plaid shirt over a black tank top and black skinny jeans, which by the way made your ass look really good."

"Sam!" she exclaims, his comment catching her off guard.

"What? They did. You should wear them more often." he responds.

She laughs and says, "I'll have to see if I can find them then."

She keeps him talking for a while about anything and everything, doing her best to keep his focus on her and not the demon blood. She was doing okay, but the more time passed, the harder it was getting for Sam. _Dean needs to hurry the hell up._

* * *

At some point, they hear movement in the motel room. Within seconds, the bathroom door was open and two demons were standing there. "Oh fuck." she mutters.

"Look at this. Two for one. Boss says we can't kill you, but he said nothing about the girl." the female demon says.

"Don't you dare touch her. If you do, it'll be the last thing you do, I swear to God." Sam threatens, struggling against his handcuffs.

The female demon grabs Alexis before she could fight back and puts her in a choke hold, bringing a knife to her cheek and cutting, hard enough to draw blood, causing Sam to grow even more angry. The male demon releases Sam, who promptly knocks him backwards. Sam lunges for the female demon, causing her to release Alexis. Sam and the demon go flying backwards and she hears the glass topped table shatter. The male demon reaches Alexis and pulls her out of the bathroom in time to see Sam attack and feed off of the female demon.

"Sam…" she says sadly as the other demon releases her and runs after Sam.

Alexis couldn't do anything but stand and watch in shock as Sam kills the two demons and feeds off them both. She didn't know what to do, she couldn't stop him, so she just stood staring. When Sam had finished and both demons were dead, he finally looks at her, wiping the blood away with his arm.

When he steps forward she takes a step back and a hurt look crosses his face. "Lex… I'm… I'm sorry." he says.

"It's um, it's okay… Let's uh, let's just go find Famine, alright?" she says, trying to mask her fear.

"You're hurt. They hurt you." he says, gesturing to her cheek that the demon had cut.

"I'm fine… Let's just go, alright? We'll fix all this later." Alexis tells him.

Sam nods and the two walk out, Alexis keeping her distance from him.

They manage to find the place where Famine was. Sam seemed to be able to sense the demons enough to track them, and Alexis' growing urge to smoke assured her that he was right. She wasn't quite sure how she'd be able to keep herself from smoking in the presence of Famine if he threw her some cigarettes though. When they walk inside, they find Famine in an automated chair, demons holding Dean, and Cas on the ground with red meat.

"Let him go." Sam says, causing Famine to turn to them.

"Ah Sam, and Alexis. I was expecting him, but you're a surprise." Famine says.

She could feel herself crumbling. She was practically itching to smoke. She almost couldn't stand it, and if there had been cigarettes within her reach, she wouldn't have been able to.

"Sammy no." Dean says.

Two demons advance, but Famine tells them to stop.

"No one lays a finger on this sweet little boy." Famine says.

"You don't touch her either." Sam warns.

"The girl either." Famine adds, though he sounded indifferent. "Sam, I see you got the snack I sent you."

"You sent?" Sam says.

"Don't worry, you're not like everyone else. You'll never die from drinking too much. You're the exception that proves the rule. Just the way Satan wanted you to be. So cut their throats. Have at them." Famine continues.

"Sammy no." Dean says.

"Sam, don't. Please." Alexis pleads.

With a look back at Alexis, Sam raises his hand and exorcises the demons instead, allowing Dean to be released. She watches, completely helpless, as the bodies fall.

"No." Sam says upon finishing.

"Well, fine, if you don't want them, then I'll have them." the horseman says, opening his mouth and devouring the demon souls.

Sam then steps forward, raising his hand once again, and begins to exorcise the souls the horseman had just eaten. Seeing how Sam was struggling, she steps forward and takes his other hand, allowing him to draw power from her. With that, he manages to incapacitate Famine enough that the hunger is lifted. They take the ring and the four of them leave. Dean makes Sam take something that would knock him out long enough for them to get to Bobby's and then loads Sam into the back seat, giving Alexis the front seat of the Impala.

"Lex, what the hell happened?" Dean asks once they were on the road.

"Two demons showed up. One grabbed me before I could fight back and cut my cheek, just pissing Sam off more. The other released Sam. He knocked that demon back into the tub and then went after the one holding me. He uh, he attacked her and fed off of her first, then the other one. He couldn't stop, Dean, and I couldn't do anything about it." Alexis explains.

"Alright, why don't you get some sleep? I'll wake you up when we get to Bobby's." Dean says.

She nods and manages to fall asleep. When she does wake up, she's on the couch in Bobby's living room. Dean was sitting across from her, drink in hand.

"You said you'd wake me up." she says.

"Didn't want to." Dean responds.

"Where's Sam?" she asks, standing up and looking around.

At the look that crosses Dean's face, she repeats, "Where is Sam?"

"The panic room." Dean mutters.

"What? Why?"

"He needs to detox. We had to do this last time." Dean says.

That's when she hears Sam's screams come from the basement. She's quickly heading there, but Dean grabs her arm, stopping her.

"You can't go down there, Alexis." he says firmly.

"Dean, we can't just leave him down there alone!" she insists.

"Yes, we can. And we have to. He's not himself like this, Lex. He needs to get it out of his system." Dean replies, sounding almost angry.

"There has to be another way." she says, trying to wriggle out of his grip, only causing him to tighten his hold on her wrist.

"There isn't. You should know that. Oh wait, you wouldn't, because you weren't here. Why don't you just leave again? You seem to be pretty damn good at that." Dean says, venom in his words. He'd let her go and was now glaring at her.

"That isn't fair." she responds, stepping back from him.

"No, what wasn't fair was leaving him. You sent him back to the demon blood in the first place!" he shouts.

"Don't you dare put that on me. Don't you dare." she says, now raising her voice too. She was the only reason he stopped in the first place. Ruby was the reason he started.

"I wish we'd never met you. The angels were right, you were never supposed to be here." Dean says bitterly.

Not sure how to respond, and not wanting Dean to see her cry, she turns around and heads for the door.

"Yeah, leave, it's what you do best!" he shouts after her, only causing her to pick up her pace.

With tears threatening to spill out, she grabs the keys to her Camaro and drives off. She hated leaving Sam, and she hated that Dean's words hurt her so much, but she couldn't help it. After being with them for so long, she'd grown to think of Dean as family. And only family had the power to hurt her like that.

* * *

She ended up just driving for a few days, finally stopping at some hotel in Nashville, the city she was born in, ignoring every single call she got from Dean, Bobby, and Castiel. The second day she is in Nashville though, around nine in the morning, her phone rings, and this time it's Sam.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Lex?" Sam asks.

"Sam, are you okay?" she asks.

"I'm fine. Are you? Where are you? Dean said… he said you left."

"Sam…" she trails off, really unsure of what to say,

"Please just tell me where you are and we'll come get you." he says, sounding extremely worried.

"I- I can't. I need some time, Sam."

"Lex, please. Whatever Dean said, he didn't mean it. And I know I scared you, but I'm okay now."

"Did he even tell you what he said?" she asks, Dean's words still ringing in her ears.

"No, why?"

"Sam, he blamed me for you going back to the demon blood the first time and said he wished you two had never met me, that the angels were right and I was never supposed to be there." Alexis says, still hating the fact that mere words could hurt her so badly. She'd tried so damn hard after Kyle to make sure that no one could have that power over her again, but the damn Winchesters blindsided her and wriggled their way in anyway.

"Lex, he's wrong, okay? Just tell me where you are, please." Sam says, sounding like he could either scream or cry, or both.

"I can't."

"I'll come alone." he says.

"Sam…"

"Please. I need to see you. Just let me come see you." he pleads.

"Gaylord Opryland in Nashville." she replies.

"I'll catch a bus and be there as soon as I can." Sam says and then hangs up.

The drive from Bobby's to where she was staying was nearly 15 hours, longer with a bus more than likely, so she knew it would take him awhile. With that in mind, she puts on some makeup to cover up the dark circles under her eyes from no sleep and changes before heading out of her room. The hotel she was in was probably the nicest she'd ever set foot in. It was so huge that it required a map, one that frankly resembled that of a mall. She just walks around for a bit before caving and booking an appointment at the spa. It'd been a while since she did anything remotely for herself and she figured a massage might help get her mind of off things, at least temporarily. Once she was back in her room for the night, she called down to the lobby to let them know Sam would be showing up and to leave a key for him. Sure enough, at eight the next morning, there's a knock on her door before a key is slid in, unlocking the door. As soon as it's open, Sam walks in and straight over to her, immediately wrapping his arms around her.

"Sam, can't breathe." she says.

Sam pulls back and says, "When I got out of that room and didn't see you… and when Dean said you left… I-I thought that you'd left me…"

"I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't want to." she says, feeling horrible for causing him so much worry.

"Dean shouldn't have said what he did, alright? He's the one who needs to apologize. It's not your fault, the demon blood, without you, I probably never would have quit in the first place. And you know Dean couldn't have meant that he wishes he never met you, right?" Sam insists, his hands firmly on her shoulders.

"Sounded like he meant it to me, Sam." she responds, hearing Dean's voice in her head once again.

"He didn't. He couldn't have. And if he did, well, he's not the brother I thought he was and I'm staying with you."

"What? Sam, you can't."

"If he were to make me pick, which I don't believe he will, I'd pick you." he says, his eyes still locked on hers.

She could tell he meant it, but that within itself kind of scared her. "Sam…"

"If he would make me pick, then he's not the brother I thought he was, alright? He's not the Dean I know. The Dean I know and grew up with would never make me pick."

"Okay. Okay." she says, nodding her head.

"Now why the hell are you here? In such a fancy place?" Sam says, for the first time really glancing around the room.

"Would you have ever found me here?" she replies.

"Not in a million years." he says, taking a seat on one of the beds.

"Didn't think so." she says, sitting down next to him.

"I remember you telling me you were born here, is that why you came?" he asks.

"I don't know, maybe. I just kept driving. Ended up here."

"You're… you're not going to stay here, are you?" he asks, sounding worried that she didn't intend on going back with him.

"Sam, I don't-"

"Please just come back with me." he pleads, giving her one of those damn puppy dog faces of his.

He must have seen the hesitation on her face because he adds, "I'll make sure Dean apologizes, alright? You just can't leave, not now. Not after all of this."

"Okay." she replies, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Okay." Sam responds, wrapping an arm around her.

They walk around the hotel for a bit and eat dinner at one of the restaurants within it, neither of them really talking about the whole Famine encounter. When they get back to the room, Sam does bring it up.

"Lex, I think we should talk about last week." he says.

"Do we have to?" she asks, preferring not to think about it at all.

Sam nods and takes a seat on the bed. She sits on the opposite end, crossing her legs and facing him.

"I'm sorry." he says.

"You don't have to apologize."

"Yes I do. You, you were the one person who hadn't seen me like that, not after at least. Back in that church with Lilith you did, but when we were put on that plane, I was fine. You didn't have to see me come down from that, be in that panic room. I know that couldn't have been easy for you, and I know that Dean just made it worse. And in that motel room, you backed away from me. You were scared, and that was because of me. I don't think I'll ever get that out of my head, but then, somehow, when we were facing Famine, you took my hand, you helped me when you saw I was struggling." Sam says, a few tears forming in his eyes.

"Sam… I'm not scared of you, okay? It's just, you're right, I'd never seen you like that, and it just kind of startled me. I took your hand because you're my boyfriend and you needed help. On a normal day, without the influence of Famine, I know you wouldn't have caved. You'd have killed the two demons, but you wouldn't have drunk their blood. You can't blame what you did on yourself, alright?" Alexis replies.

"God I love you." Sam says, a small smile making its way to his face.

"I love you too." she responds.

"Alright, I'm going to call Dean, figure out where to meet up with him. You should get ready for bed, you look like you haven't slept since Valentine's Day." Sam says, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and grabbing his phone before standing up.

"I uh, haven't really." she says.

"I thought so." Sam replies, looking mildly concerned, but also like he'd grown to expect it by now.

She grabs her bag and heads into the bathroom. She changes into a shirt of Sam's that she'd taken, not bothering with pants or shorts since it was so long on her. Then she washes her face and brushes her teeth before walking back out, catching the end of Sam's conversation with Dean.

"I don't care, Dean. I'm not coming back without her and she won't want to stay if you don't apologize." Sam says, sounding frustrated with his brother.

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow in Chicago." Sam says after Dean responded on the other end of the line.

He then hangs up and turns back to her. "That's where that shirt went." he says.

"Yep." she says, a small smile on her face.

"Looks better on you anyway."

"So we're meeting Dean in Chicago?" Alexis asks, trying to mask the hesitation in her voice.

Apparently she didn't mask it well enough because Sam responds, "Yes. He's going to apologize, Lex. I know him and I know he's probably already beating himself up about it, probably has been since he sobered up and realized what he'd said to you."

She nods, not saying anything else.

Sam slips out of his pants and pulls off his shirt and then says, "Come on, let's get some sleep."

Nodding again, Alexis slides into one side of the bed as Sam does the same on the other. Sam instinctually pulls her over to him and the two fall asleep within the next ten minutes.

* * *

_A/N: Wrote this whole thing in a matter of ten hours. I think that might be a new record. I'm pretty proud of how it turned out. The Gaylord Opryland is a real hotel, there are a few I believe. I've been to the one in Nashville, it's beyond gorgeous. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter!_


	35. Shot Me in the Heart

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything or anyone in it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 35: Shot Me in the Heart**

**-Sam-centric POV-**

With a groan, Sam flips over and cracks his eyes open. When he doesn't find Alexis in bed, he frowns slightly and brings his gaze to the clock. _It's barely seven in the morning and she's up already? We didn't even go to bed until after one. _"Lex?" he calls out, his eyes jumping around the room in search of her.

No answer.

"Lex?" he repeats.

Upon hearing silence once again, he gets out of bed and checks the bathroom. She wasn't there at all. He spots a note on the desk and his breath catches in his throat. _Please don't be what I think it is, please don't be what I think it is_.

Slowly he walks over and picks up the note.

"_Went to the fitness room - Lex."_

Relief washes over him as he realizes she hadn't left, but he was a bit thrown off. _Fitness center at seven in the morning? Who knows how long she's even been up? _

For the past month or so, Sam had been keeping a closer eye on Alexis. Making sure she ate enough, trying to figure exactly how much she was sleeping, but it wasn't easy. She'd gotten herself into almost a routine with it. Hiding just how much she was or wasn't sleeping out of habit, throwing herself into hunting, not focusing on herself. He had to frequently remind her to eat something, and it wasn't until he did so that she even really realized she was neglecting herself. She'd said it herself, she doesn't realize she's doing it until someone says something. The food was easier for him to help with, to watch, the sleeping, not so much. Most nights, despite trying to stay awake longer than her, he'd fall asleep first. And then more often than not, she was up before him. He understood it, he did, but he hated watching it happen. _Why can't things just be easier for her? Just this once? _

Sam then gets changed and leaves a note for Alexis in return, in case she'd get back before him, saying he went to get breakfast. And with that, he was out the door. Knowing she wouldn't eat any breakfast food if he brought it back, Sam decides to just eat down on the main floor where the breakfast buffet was laid out. Once he finishes, he grabs a banana nut muffin, a granola bar, and a Diet Coke for Alexis and heads back up. Whether she claimed to be hungry or not, he was going to make sure she ate at least something, especially after working out for who knows how long. The pop wasn't necessarily the healthiest thing, but it was better than those damn energy drinks she seemed to favor.

When he walks back through the door, he finds Alexis standing in front of the mirror, running a towel through her wet hair. "Morning." she says, not bothering to turn her attention to him.

"Morning. You were up early." he responds, walking in and setting down the bar, muffin, and can of pop. "I uh, got you a muffin, a granola bar, and a Diet Coke."

"Oh, I'm not really all that hungry. Thanks though." she says, spinning on her heels and heading back into the bathroom.

_Here we go again. _"Lex, you need to eat something."

Alexis steps back out of the bathroom and says, "I'm not hungry, Sam."

He opens his mouth to say more, but she steps closer to him, now only about a foot away, and says, "Look, when something is eating at me, I'm never hungry. I'm just not. I know you're worried, I know you want me to eat, and I know you don't understand it, you couldn't possibly when I don't. I'll eat the granola bar, okay? But I'm really not hungry."

He sighs, knowing the only thing arguing with her would accomplish would be receiving the silent treatment. _At least she's eating the granola bar. _"Not eating isn't healthy, Lex. If you don't eat enough, you could cause serious problems for yourself. You gotta eat, even if you're not hungry."

"I know that. I'm trying, I swear, it's just difficult. Especially when I'm still not used to having anyone call me on it. But I am trying." Alexis says, taking the granola bar from the desk along with the can of pop.

As she goes to take a seat on the small couch in the room, Sam follows her and sits down next to her. "You said you're never hungry when something is eating at you, what is it?" he asks.

She bites her bottom lip, casting her eyes downward, and gives no response.

Her reaction told him what he needed to know though. "Dean."

She slowly nods, not bringing her eyes back up to his.

"You have to know he didn't mean what he said."

"But I don't, Sam, because honestly, I think if he were given the choice to undo everything, all this apocalypse stuff, by simply having never met me, he'd do it. If Dean could take all of this back by simply hitting a reset button, taking me out of your lives, I think he'd do it."

He could tell she was fighting back tears. This was truly eating at her. _You screwed up big time this time, Dean, _he thinks to himself. "You don't know that. He considers you family, Lex."

"I know, but considering someone family and being family are two different things. Can we not talk about this anymore please?"

Sam nods, realizing nothing he could say would make her feel any different, and then reaches for the remote, clicking on the TV.

"Ooo! Grey's Anatomy!" Alexis says, spotting it somewhere.

"What is with you and this show?" he asks. She liked this one and Dean seemed to like the Dr. Sexy one. He'd heard them arguing about it on more than one occasion.

"I dunno. I like it."

Shaking his head, he turns his attention back to the TV. When it cuts to the next scene, he realizes he'd seen two of the guys somewhere recently.

"Hey those two were in that movie you made me watch!" he says, turning to her with a look of shock. She'd said they were good looking, but he had no idea they were on this show and that she so frequently watched them.

"Yeah, so? They call one McDreamy and the other McSteamy. I prefer McSteamy."

He just stares at her incredulously.

"Is someone jealous?" she asks, a small smile finding its way to her face.

"What? Jealous? No way." he responds.

"Sam, I'm not going to lie, they are hot and I do enjoy seeing them on TV, but you are my boyfriend who I love very much. You also happen to be pretty hot yourself." she says, turning the TV off and turning to him.

"I was watching that." he states.

"Seriously?"

"What? Some of the girls were kinda hot." he responds, knowing exactly what look he was going to get in response.

"You are unbelievable." she says, shaking her head and turning the TV back on. But there was a smile on her face, one that he loved seeing.

* * *

The couple ends up watching the rest of the episode of Grey's Anatomy and then decide to go swimming before heading to Chicago. By the time they're back to the room and ready to check out, it's nearly eleven. Before leaving the city, they stop for lunch. An hour later, they're on the road to Chicago. Sometime around eight that night, they're pulling into Alexis' apartment. As soon as they're in the door, Alexis says she's going to take a shower and walks off.

Dean walks into the living room a few minutes later, glancing around in search of Alexis.

"She went to take a shower." Sam states.

"Okay. How badly did I screw up?" Dean asks, truly looking like he felt awful.

"Really bad, Dean. How could you say that to her?"

"I don't know. I just, I was drinking, you- you were in the panic room just screaming for help, and I was so pissed off, mainly at myself, and she was the only one there. I took it out on her and I shouldn't have. And then I let her leave, hell I told her to leave. I don't… I don't know how to fix this."

"Well you're going to have to figure it out. I'm going to go get some groceries and dinner. I'll be back. You two need to talk." Sam says, grabbing keys to the Camaro. He's out the door seconds later.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

She'd told Sam she was going to take a shower, but really she ended up just sitting on the bathroom floor for fifteen minutes in total silence. She knew she and Dean needed to talk, but she didn't want to. Dean would no doubt apologize profusely, and truly she knew she could forgive him in time, but she just felt stuck. It really wasn't him that was bothering her. It was everything else. They had so much going on and still no real lead on stopping the apocalypse. Lucifer was still out there and he still wanted Sam, they had angels on their asses trying to get to Dean, and there were both angels and demons that wanted Alexis. She could barely think straight. But eventually, she decides to suck it up and walk out to find Dean, figuring it was better to get it over with than spend the night avoiding him.

"Where's Sam?" she asks quietly when she only spots Dean.

"Went to get food. Lex, we need to talk." Dean says, standing up and walking over to her.

Alexis just nods and walks over to the fridge, grabbing a Diet Coke. With the can of pop in hand, she walks over to the couch and sits down, waiting for Dean to do the same.

"I don't even know where to start. I just, god I was drunk, or getting there, Famine had basically told me I was dead inside, Sammy, he was in the panic room, again, and I was so pissed off at everything and myself, and then you were there and… I don't know, I took it out on you and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, Lex, I am so sorry. I didn't mean what I said, not at all, especially about wishing I'd never met you."

"I know. It's okay." she responds, not making eye contact.

"No, it's not okay, not at all. Look at me." Dean says firmly, causing her to bring her eyes to his.

"It isn't okay. We need you, Lex. You've saved both of our asses before, you've helped Sammy in more ways than one, and you've been there for me too. You are like my little sister, and there isn't a thing I wouldn't do to protect you. You got that?" he says sincerely, those green eyes of his boring into hers.

"I know, I do. I just… what you said really hurt me, Dean. And after Kyle, I swore I'd never ever give someone enough power to hurt me like that again. The less people I let in, the less people I cared about, meant the less people that could hurt me. But then you and Sam showed up, weaseled your way in. And well, now you both have the power to hurt me. And you both have before." Alexis replies.

"Lex… I didn't-" he begins.

She cuts him off, "I know. I'm not saying you are like Kyle, because you aren't, not at all. But it's not what you said, it's that you said it. Had someone else, someone I don't care for, said that, it wouldn't have hurt. But you said it. That's what hurts. I guess it doesn't really make sense, but-"

Dean cuts her off this time, "No, it does make sense. You let me in, you trusted me, and I hurt you. You've never hurt me like that, I don't think you've ever even yelled at me, not really. I am so sorry, and I know you know that, but I'm going to make it up to you, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Well, Sam should be back soon with food."

"I think I'm just going to get some sleep." she says. She hadn't slept more than four or five hours the night before and after driving most of the day, she was tired.

"Are you still not sleeping well?" Dean asks, now giving her the same look that she'd been getting from Sam much of the past few weeks.

"Nope. But I am tired, so maybe I'll actually sleep." she responds, standing up and heading to the bedroom.

Sometime around eleven, she feels Sam slide into bed next to her and pull her closer to him. She instinctually turns over, nuzzling her head just below his shoulder.

Without any leads on hunts, the three hunters spend a few more days in Chicago. From there, they pick up a vampire hunt. Just as they'd finished that hunt, they'd found something odd in Bobby's town and went to check it out. The dead had been rising, including Bobby's wife. It seemed like they were all genuine, but they turned after a few days and began killing, so that meant they had to re-kill the dead. After that, they pick up two more hunts.

* * *

They were currently in some motel in Ohio, having just finished up a hunt involving a spirit. Sam and Alexis were in one bed while Dean was asleep in the other. Alexis, who'd been awake before both brothers, had gotten that feeling that someone was watching her. Sure enough, when she turned her head slightly, she was met with a gun.

There were two masked men, each with guns pointed at them. She nudges Sam, getting him to wake up. As soon as he sees what she saw, his eyes widen and he shifts so that she was slightly behind him. There may have been three of them, but they were weaponless. They couldn't take the two guys down, not without at least one of them getting shot. Dean is awoken a minute or so later, and then all three are sitting up, staring at the gunmen.

"Wait a minute, is that you, Roy?" Dean says after one of the men say to keep their hands up.

"It is, isn't it? Which makes you Walt. Hiya Walt." Dean continues, clearly having recognized the guy.

The two seemed to be angry with Sam for the most part, somehow they'd found out about the apocalypse. The guy, Walt, who had his gun pointed at Sam, prepares to shoot. Sam asks to explain, but the guy shoots multiple times, killing Sam and knocking him back onto Alexis. She was frozen, she didn't know what to do. Sam was dead. Sam was dead and in her lap. She feels a single tear slide down her cheek as Dean goes to move, but the other guy, Roy, tells him to stay down.

"Shoot him. I'll take care of the girl. Alexis Harvelle, right? Thought you were dead anyway." Walt says.

"I was. So go ahead, kill me. But if you think I won't be back, you've got another thing coming. Because I will be back and I will be pissed." Alexis says, holding Sam's head in her lap.

Walt glances at Roy and then fires at Alexis. She feels the first bullet hit and then everything goes black.

* * *

**-Sam-centric POV-**

He was dreaming, or so he thought. But when Dean shows up, he's no longer so sure. Dean explains what had happened, that they were in Heaven. He was thoroughly confused as to why he was in Heaven and not Hell, but his first thought was Alexis.

"Dean, if they killed her too we have to find her." he says.

"They did, she told them to actually. She's gotta be here, somewhere. But this seems to be a bunch of memories, so she's who knows where." Dean responds.

Cas speaks to them through the TV a few minutes later after some beam of light shakes the house, telling them not to go into it. The light was Zachariah. Cas then tells them to find an angel named Joshua, who supposedly talks to God, after they find Alexis. The angel says they should follow a road. It should lead them to Alexis and then to Joshua in the garden of Heaven. Sam was trying to focus, but all he could think about was finding Alexis before the angels did.

They pass through a memory of Dean's and then are suddenly standing outside a hospital room.

"Is that Lex?" Dean asks, looking into the room.

Sam, thinking he meant it was now-her, looks, but who he sees tells him exactly where they were and what memory they were in. "That's her. Just not now her." Sam says, his voice deflated.

"Isn't this the day we saw her in the hospital after finding out the fire hadn't killed her? Why would this be a good memory for you? Seeing her like that?" Dean asks, looking in between her and him.

Looking at Alexis, he could see now just how much she'd changed since they started dating. Her face had aged a bit and whatever ounce of innocence she had had left in her was gone now. "That's what this is. But that day was also the first time we kissed, the day we started dating."

"Oh, I see. She just, she looks so young." Dean says, staring at her also.

"She was 21. God, I can't believe she was only 21 when she got dragged into all of this. I was still in school when I was 21."

"21. You're right. Damn, I almost forgot she was just 21 then too. Alright, let's keep moving. We have to find her before the angels do because they don't need her. If they get to her, we won't get her back." Dean says.

Not having thought of that, Sam feels himself grow even more panicked.

After another memory or two, they encounter Zachariah. As they were running, some masked dude wearing a cape shows up and tells them to follow him. Without anything other options, they follow. The guy draws some sigil with chalk and walks through a door, when they walk through too they're no longer in the woods.

"Buenos días bitches."

"Ash?" both brothers repeat, staring at the now unmasked man in shock.

Ash claps and the lights come on, revealing the roadhouse, in the state it was before it burnt down.

"Wait, Ash. Is Lex here?" Sam asks, looking around and only spotting some other guy.

"Lexi?" the other guy says, standing up and walking over.

He looked familiar, but Sam couldn't quite place him.

"Who are you?" Dean asks.

"Zac." the guy responds.

_Zac! That's why he looked familiar. _

"Wait, Zac Zac? Lex's Zac?" Dean says, staring at the man in shock.

"Yes. Now what'd you say about her? She's dead? Again?" Zac asks.

_This is so weird. Lex did say she saw her dad, Matt, Ash, and Zac again when she died though. _

"Yeah. Ash, can you find her?" Sam says.

"I'll be right back." Ash says and then walks back out the door.

"So you're Zac." Dean says.

"And you two are the Winchesters, right?"

"How do you know who we are?" Dean asks.

"Lexi, well, she seems to die quite a bit. I've seen her a few times and she's told me about you." Zac says.

"Oh." Dean responds.

"It's um, nice to meet you? I don't know. This is weird." Sam says.

"Weird doesn't even begin to cover it." Zac replies.

The three walk over to the bar and take seats. A minute later, Ash walks through the door without Alexis.

"I couldn't find her. I think the angels may have." Ash says.

"Fuck. We gotta get to her. Now." Dean says, standing up.

"I have one more thing I can check. Just hold on a minute." Ash responds, walking over to what looked to be a computer.

"If the angels have her…" Sam trails off, not wanting to think about what that would mean.

"Got her." Ash announces a minute later. Then, shaking his head, he adds, "Girl's been here so many times she's figured out how to Heaven hop all on her own. I'll be back."

Sam begins pacing, knowing he wouldn't feel relieved until he actually laid eyes on her.

Ten minutes later Ash returns alone.

"I can't find her. They either have her or she just keeps moving." Ash states.

"Fuck." Sam states, growing rapidly more concerned.

"Where would she go if she kept moving?" Dean asks.

"She was in Matt's, when I checked Bill's she wasn't there… Riley maybe?" Ash says.

"Can you get us there?" Sam asks.

"We don't even know if that's where she's headed." Ash says.

"Ash." Dean says firmly.

"Fine. Come on."

The two follow Ash out the door and are soon in a house.

"She's here." Ash states.

Sam follows his gaze and finds Alexis at the top of the stairs in the house. Without a word, he practically flies up them and throws his arms around her.

"Sam what're-" she begins but gets cut off.

"I thought the angels got you." he mumbles, still holding her as tightly as he could.

"I'm right here. I'm okay, for a dead person that is." she says.

He pulls back, his hands now gripping her shoulders.

"Now what are you doing here?" she asks.

"Ash. He said he couldn't find you but you could be headed here. We made him take us." Sam replies.

Alexis nods and then wriggles out of his grip and heads down the stairs. "We can't all be here for long. They'll find us. They almost got me twice, that's why I keep moving." she explains as she reaches the bottom.

"Let's go then." Ash says and leads them back into the roadhouse.

"Okay. We're all in one place. Now what's going on?"

"We need to get to something Cas called the Garden." Dean states as Alexis walks over to Zac.

Sam, Dean, and Ash end up at the computer searching for the Garden while Alexis talks to Zac. After sometime, Ash finds a shortcut to the garden.

While Ash draws the symbol, he says Zachariah is going to be watching every path to the garden.

"Try to stop dying, would you?" Zac says as he hugs Alexis.

"I make no promises. I'll see you next time, Zac." she responds.

With that, they all turn to say goodbye to Ash.

"Knowing you three, I'm sure I'll see you again soon." Ash says, opening the door.

Dean heads out first, then Alexis, followed by Sam.

What they walk into is a house.

"Where is this?" Alexis asks.

"Why are we back home?" Dean questions.

"Home?" Alexis says.

"Yeah. Now what?" Sam says.

"Keep looking for the road I guess." Dean responds.

That's when Mary appears. Except she's not Mary, not a memory Mary anyway. Her eyes flash yellow and all exits become boarded up with bricks. They were trapped. She was going on about the day she died. Sam kept trying to tell himself it wasn't her, it was a trick from the angels, and tried to block it out, focusing instead on Alexis, who was right next to him, her hand on his arm, seemingly trying to provide any comfort she could.

"Don't listen to her. It's not her, it's not really your mom. I can tell." Alexis states.

That's when Zachariah walks in, a smirk on his face.

"You did this." Sam says, growing angrier, and also angling himself so that Alexis was slightly behind him and his hand was on her arm. When Zach was around, Alexis tended to disappear

Dean moves to advance, but men, angels, appear and take hold of each of them.

They'd apparently made Zachariah someone to laugh at among the angels, meaning he was thoroughly pissed off at them.

"So, say yes don't say yes, I'm still going to take it out of your asses. Starting with her." Zach continues, now turning to Alexis.

"Don't touch her." Sam practically growls.

"She didn't do anything. You hurt us, not her." Dean says.

"See, by hurting her, I cause you both pain. And I don't even have to touch her" the angel says, snapping his fingers. A loud cracking noise is heard and Alexis doubles over, pain flooding her face.

Sam's blood was boiling. He was going to kill Zachariah.

Zach goes to do something further when an older man shows up, insisting to speak with Alexis, Sam, and Dean. God's orders.

The angels holding them and Zachariah disappear and Alexis falls to the ground.

"Lex!" both brothers exclaim, quickly rushing over to her.

"What is it?" Sam asks, trying to figure out what was causing her pain and how to fix it.

"Dick broke my legs." Alexis says.

The man, or angel, who had showed up snaps his fingers and Sam watches as the pain leaves Alexis' face. Both Sam and Dean help her up, only to have her shake them off.

"Thank you, Joshua." Alexis states.

_She knows him? _

The angel, Joshua, nods and suddenly they are in the garden.

Joshua explains that God was on Earth, but he doesn't know where. The angel then says that God has a message for them, wants them to back off. God knows everything but doesn't seem to think it's his problem.

"Not his problem?" Dean repeats.

"God saved you already. He put you on that plane, brought Alexis and Castiel back, he granted you salvation in Heaven, and after everything you've done too. It's more than he's intervened in a long time. He's finished. Magic amulet or not, you won't be able to find him. I'm sorry."

"So what now?" Dean asks after a minute.

"You go home again. But not her." Joshua says, raising his hand.

Before Sam could grab Alexis, they're back in the motel. Sam awakes with a gasp followed by Dean, but when he turns to Alexis, he sees that she is still dead. _No. No. NO. _He pulls her head into his lap and just sits there staring at her as a few tears roll down his cheeks. _She can't just not come back. She can't._

* * *

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

"Joshua, you have to send me back." Alexis pleads.

"You can be done now, Alexis. You can rest. You've done more than enough, much more than you ever were supposed to." Joshua says.

"No. I can't. They need me now. You have to send me back, please." she says, growing teary eyed just knowing that Sam and Dean were in a motel room with her dead body at that very moment.

"Why? For so long, this is all you've wanted and now you have it."

"I don't want this. Not now. Not without them. Please Joshua, please just send me back to them. You can't take their only hope of stopping this, finding God, away and me too. I know you. You're not that cruel. Please. Send me back to them."

"As you wish. But this is it, Alexis. You won't keep getting another chance. You've been lucky, but luck runs out." the angel says, and then with a raise of his hand, she's gone again.

With a gasp she wakes up, nearly hitting Sam in the face with her face.

"Lex?" Sam asks, as if he wasn't seeing clearly.

"He- he said you weren't coming back." Dean states, tears in his eyes.

It was clear they'd both been crying, thinking she was gone for good.

"I couldn't leave you two." she says, standing up.

Both brothers are quickly right next to her, smothering her in the middle of them, wrapping her in one big Winchester hug.

"I thought we lost you. For good." Dean mumbles.

"I'm here." she replies, relaxing in between the two of them.

After another minute she says, "Let's um, get cleaned up and get out of here."

Dean nods and lets go of her, heading to the bathroom with his bag in hand, but Sam remains by her side.

"I can't keep losing you."

"I know. But I'm here now. I got him to send me back. And as long as no one comes in and shoots us in bed again, I don't plan on going anywhere."

He nods in response but she can see the fear still on his face so she brings her hands to his cheeks and says, "Sam. I'm okay. We're all okay."

He nods again and she presses a kiss to his lips. Then, stepping back, she says, "Now I'm going to need to steal another shirt of yours. Those dicks ruined my favorite one."

Sam shakes his head, a small smile on his face, and says, "I'm going to need to get some more shirts I guess."

"You could wear my shirts. I'm just not so sure they'd fit." she replies.

"Or we could just both not wear shirts at all." Sam says, smirking at her.

"That would be one way to get Dean to give us some time alone."

"Do you both have shirts on or not?" Dean calls out from the bathroom, causing Alexis and Sam to burst into laughter.

"Nope. We're both totally buck naked, Dean." Alexis responds, causing Sam to laugh even harder.

"I'm getting my own room at the next motel." Dean responds, walking out from the bathroom with an unamused look on his face. "I'll be in the car. Just hurry up."

As the door shuts, Alexis turns to Sam and once they make eye contact, they begin laughing again. She pulls off her shirt and goes to stand in front of the mirror.

"I really should shower. And now I need a new bra. I have like one more. I need to go shopping." she states, taking in the dried blood all over her stomach and her bra. They'd all been healed, but not cleaned.

"I'll go tell Dean that we'll meet him at the diner down the street. I need to shower too." Sam says, heading out the door.

Alexis grabs some fresh clothes and some body wash that she carried around, motel stuff was always disgusting, and then heads to the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door knowing that Sam would be joining her. Sam walks in just as she was starting the shower.

"He gave me a disgusted look and then nodded and drove off." Sam says.

"For a guy who likes sex so much he sure does get awkward about it whenever it's even hinted at. Besides, more often than not we don't do anything when we shower, because usually when we shower together one if not both of us are usually hurt, bloody, or just tired."

"I know. But now it looks like we will have a room to ourselves tonight or whenever we stop."

"Good point." she replies, stepping out of her shorts as Sam steps out of his boxers.

He steps in the shower as Alexis pulls off her underwear and bra. Before getting in herself, she puts her hair in a messy a bun.

"We should probably hurry up. We don't want to be anywhere near here when housekeeping comes around. All that blood and no bodies? Not going to be easy to explain." she says, stepping in the shower.

"Good point. We probably want to get at least a state away before stopping again then too." Sam says.

"It's only 11:30 and all three of us have died already. Turning out to be an eventful day." she remarks as she watches the water begin to turn a light red hue.

"Let's not make a habit of that." Sam replies, grabbing a washcloth and starting to clean off her chest. "I really can't take losing like you that again. You were dead, Lex. When we woke up, I turned and you were dead. I held your dead body in my arms. I never, ever, want to come even remotely close to that again. Twice is enough."

"Twice?" she asks, not remembering the other time.

"When those demons took you and killed Pamela." Sam states, a sad look crossing his face at the memory.

"Oh, I forgot about that."

"Yeah, let's just finish up. Maybe take the week off from hunts or something. Maybe we could even get Dean to take a hunt or two with Jo or someone and give us the week in Chicago. After everything recently, I could use a week where I just know you are safe." Sam suggests.

"Yeah, okay. A small break might be good for me anyway. When we're not constantly going to diners and eating fast food, I can focus more on what I'm actually eating. I know you've been worried, and I get it, so if we're in Chicago, I can buy groceries, actually cook for a change. Try and get myself back to eating more regularly."

"Chicago it is then."

The two finish washing off, dry off, get dressed, and then walk down to the diner where Dean was waiting for them. After they eat, they all pile into the Impala and head towards Chicago. Dean had said he'd crash there for the night and then head down to the roadhouse in the morning, see if Jo or Ellen had a hunt he could take or one he could join in on.

* * *

_A/N: Getting close to the finale! I love it, but it's so sad! I know exactly how I'm going to write it and have the in-between mapped out to lead into season 6 too. It's looking like 5x17 and 5x18 will be in one chapter, 5x19 and 5x20 in another, and 5x21 and 5x22 in another. Since I do know what I'm doing, I should get it done pretty quickly. Let me know what you think about the chapter and maybe what you want to see in upcoming ones? I hate asking for reviews so often but I almost never get them, so I__'m kind of flying blind here as to what you guys think. _


	36. Team

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 36: Team**

"Hello?" Alexis answers, not even checking to see who was calling.

"Lex?"

"Sam? What's wrong?" she asks, heading to pack up her stuff upon hearing the panic in his voice. She'd spent the past week with her family, Arizona, and Ellie while the boys picked up a hunt or two. Right now, she was in Iowa City with Jo, having just finished a simple spirit hunt. She'd planned on staying a bit longer and going back to the roadhouse with Jo, but from the sound of Sam's voice, she was needed back with them.

"We uh, we just finished up a pretty rough hunt and Dean took off. Left me here. I'm afraid he's going to say yes. And now I'm stuck here." Sam explains.

"Fuck. Okay, where are you?"

"Blue Earth, Minnesota. I'll see if someone here can give me a ride to a bus station and I can meet you somewhere. It would take you forever to get up here."

"I'm actually not in Broken Bow." she tells him.

"What? Why not? Are you okay? Where are you?" Sam asks, rapidly firing questions at her.

"Slow down. Jo found a spirit hunt in Iowa City and I went with her. I was going to head back to the roadhouse, but I'll head towards you."

"Iowa City? What motel? I'll just have Cas bring me there, as long as he's sober enough."

"Sober enough? What do you mean?" she asks curiously.

"He uh, went on a bender and showed up drunk. But he should be okay enough to zap me to you."

"Cas drunk? Huh. Well I'm at the Red Robin motel. Room 24. I guess I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah. See you soon." Sam says and hangs up.

She hadn't moved more than a few feet before Sam was standing in the room. She barely saw Cas. He was there but before she could even blink he was gone.

"Sam?" Jo asks, just walking back through the door with dinner. "How did you get here?"

"Castiel. Look, Dean is really freaking me out here. We gotta find him." Sam says, starting to pace.

Sam was definitely a pacer. That was something she'd quickly learned. When he was worried, he'd run his fingers through his hair or pace, most of the time both.

"Alright, sit down. Take a breath. You called me just after he left, right? He can't be more than fifteen minutes away from where you were in Minnesota. You're hours away, so calm down, stop pacing, and just talk." she says, putting her hands on his shoulders to get him to stop moving.

Sam nods and takes a seat on the bed.

"What's going on?" Jo asks, having set the food down and now walking over to Alexis.

"We had a bad hunt. Someone Cas called the Whore of Babylon. Dean took off, I think he's planning on saying yes, giving up." Sam explains.

"Okay. If that's what he's doing, where would he head first?" Alexis asks, doing her best to remain calm.

Sam stays silent for a minute, clearly thinking things through. "Lisa's."

"Who's Lisa?" Alexis asks.

"Lisa? The one who has a son? Dean and I saw her on that changeling hunt that one time." Jo says.

"Yeah, her. If Dean was going to give up, Lisa would be the first stop. Trust me." Sam replies.

"Okay. Where does Lisa live?"

"Cicero, Indiana." Jo says.

"Okay. Let's go. Jo, do you want to come?" Alexis asks, realizing her sister had no car.

"No, you two go. Call me when you find him. I'll catch a bus back to the roadhouse." her sister responds.

"Alright. Let me at least drop you off at the bus station then."

"Okay. If that's where Dean's headed from Minnesota, it'll take him a while. We're closer to Cicero by a few hours. I got dinner, enough for Sam too I think so let's all eat, and then head out." Jo says.

Alexis opens her mouth to say something but Jo cuts her off, "Lex, I swear to God if you say you're not hungry…"

With the look Jo was giving her and the one Sam shoots her, Alexis sighs and says, "Fine. What'd you get?"

"Some chicken tenders and fries. But I've heard you complain about fried food enough this week to know to get you something else."

Truthfully she wasn't that hungry, but knowing that not eating wasn't an option right now, not with her sister and Sam both in the room, she sits down at the table and pulls out the salad Jo had gotten her. _At least she got me this._

When she finishes half the salad, she decides to be done, earning an eyebrow raise from both Sam and Jo. Jo had caught on pretty quickly to her lack of interest in eating and she was pretty sure Sam had said something anyway. Neither of them says anything, though she was sure she'd hear about it from Sam later. He'd no doubt ask her if she'd been eating, if she wanted to stop, stuff like that.

Forty-five minutes later, they'd packed up and had dropped Jo off at the bus station.

"Jo was right, we'll get to Indiana before Dean. Do you want to stop for something else to eat?" Sam asks her.

"Sam, no. Let's just get on the road." she states, starting to really grow tired of being asked and reminded to eat. It wasn't like she wasn't eating at all, she was. She'd started carrying around a box of breakfast bars that she liked for when they were in motels, and would head to a grocery store and get some fruit and stuff when they'd be anywhere for more than a night. She didn't eat much just now because she hates eating a lot right before a long drive.

"Lex, you didn't eat much. And I have no idea how much or how little you've been eating since we've been apart for a week and a half." Sam says, his eyebrows creased in concern.

"I'm fine, Sam. You don't have to keep worrying about me. Jo made sure I ate enough, and I did. I just am trying to avoid fried, greasy stuff. You should get that, seeing as you typically get salads or grilled food at diners. And I don't like to eat a lot before long car rides. I know you're only bugging me about this because you care, but please lay off."

"Okay." Sam responds, raising his hands in surrender.

"Just fill me in on what happened, why you think Dean is going to say yes."

Sam tells her about the hunt with the Whore of Babylon, how innocent people were tricked into killing, how other innocent people died, how Dean was losing faith.

"Damn. Alright, we'll find him, okay? But uh, maybe we'll want to have Cas with us, just in case." she says once Sam had finished.

"In case of?"

"Well, if he doesn't want to come with us, it'll be pretty difficult to get him to. Cas can easily get Dean anywhere."

"Yeah, guess you're right."

The two drive in silence until they stop at a twenty-four hour McDonalds sometime after two in the morning. They were just outside of Cicero, Indiana and knew there was no way Dean was there yet.

Once they get their food, they slide into a booth across from each other.

"So Dean will probably get here in another three or four hours and stop at a motel for a bit before heading to Lisa's. I say we stop at a hotel and then either later in the morning or earlier afternoon, head to the motel he should be at and go from there." Alexis says.

"Yeah, okay."

She reaches out and places her hand on his arm, squeezing slightly, and says, "Hey, we're going to get to him and we'll figure everything out, alright? He's not going to say yes."

Sam nods and goes back to eating.

Around noon, they head to the motel that Sam was pretty sure Dean was at, Mike's Travel Inn. Once they see the Impala in the lot, they call for Castiel and the three walk in. Sam, wanting to talk to Dean first, stands in the doorway while Alexis and Cas stand a bit further down the hall, out of Dean's sight but not out of earshot.

She tried to drown it out, but she couldn't. She felt bad for them both. Sam, after dealing with her not really caring if she lived or died, now had Dean practically killing himself. Dean, after everything that's gone down, wanted to save anyone that he could and just end it. They were both hurting and she had no idea how to help one without hurting or crossing the other. As soon as they hear Sam say he brought help, Cas zaps in behind Dean and Alexis walks over to Sam. Cas then zaps them all, her car included, to Bobby's.

* * *

Not wanting to hear arguing between Dean, Bobby, Sam, and Cas, Alexis grabs some books and heads down to her room in the basement. Except she knew she wasn't going to find anything. There was nothing in any book that could tell them how to stop the apocalypse or kill the devil. There just wasn't. Sometime later, Dean walks in.

"Look, if you're going to yell or complain, I don't want to hear it." she says, barely glancing up at him.

"Too bad. I thought you, of all people, would understand this." Dean responds, taking a seat across from her on the bed.

"Never said I didn't."

"Then why the hell did you let them stop me?"

"I may understand it, Dean, but I don't agree with it. You can't just give up. You can't." Alexis says, now making eye contact with him.

"Watch me." Dean responds bitterly, standing up.

"Dean-"

"No. I can save you, Lex. I can make sure that you, Sam, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Arizona, Ellie, Lisa, and Ben are all safe and make it out of this. You and Sam could be done, get out of the life and get married, have kids, and be happy." Dean says, his voice loud.

"No, we couldn't. You don't think people would come after us, Dean? By saying yes to Michael, people are going to die. Hunters are going to know why and the blame is going to fall on you. But you won't be here, meaning they'll come after Sam, potentially me too. You can't save us, you just can't." she says firmly, also standing up now.

Dean shakes his head, not wanting to listen.

"You know I'm right, Dean."

"No." he says defiantly and walks out.

Shortly after that, Sam walks in.

"What did you say to him?" he asks, taking a seat next to her.

"Why?" she asks, looking at him curiously.

"Now he's up there pacing and muttering to himself."

"I told him that he can't save us by saying yes. He said he could, that we could be done, get married, have kids, be happy. But he can't, we can't."

Sam nods and then after a minute says, "Would you want to?"

"What?"

"Would you want to get married, have kids, if we could?"

"Sam…" she trails off, not at all sure what she should say. After thinking for a minute and staring at Sam, she says, "Someday. Yes, I would. I don't know about the kids part, but most definitely the married part." Thinking about having kids wasn't something she did much, she was pretty sure she'd be an awful mother. And in the world they lived in, it was incredibly dangerous, even if they got out of the life. But she knew, just by looking at Sam, that if he said he wanted to have a baby with her, she'd agree in a heartbeat. Sam would be an excellent father.

Sam gives her a small smile and says, "Well, then when this whole apocalypse thing is over, I'm going to buy a ring and am going to ask you to marry me."

She smiles in response and leans forward to press a small kiss to his lips. "I look forward to that then." she whispers softly.

"Now, let's go see about getting this apocalypse behind us." she adds a minute later, pulling Sam up with her.

The two head upstairs and meet Bobby and Dean in the library. Seconds later, Cas appears with a body, simply saying, "Help."

"Who is it?" Bobby asks.

Alexis didn't recognize him, but judging by the looks on Sam and Dean's faces, they did.

"That's our brother." Sam says.

"Wait a minute, your brother?" Bobby questions.

"Adam?" Alexis adds in.

Dean turns to Castiel and asks, "Cas, what the Hell?"

"Angels." the angel replies.

"Angels?" Sam repeats questioningly.

"Why?" Alexis asks.

"I know one thing for sure. We need to hide him now." Castiel says, walking over and placing his hand over Adam's rib cage.

Adam wakes up with a start, heavily breathing and his eyes jumping around in confusion. "Where am I?"

"It's okay, just relax. You're safe." Sam says.

"Who the hell are you?" Adam asks.

"Well you're going to find this a little- a lot crazy, but we're actually your brothers." Dean explains.

"It's the truth. John Winchester is our father too. I'm Sam-" Sam begins but gets cut off.

"Yeah, and I'm sure that's Dean. I know who you are." Adam says.

"How?" Sam questions.

"They warned me about you."

"Who did?" Dean interjects.

"The angels. Now where the hell is Zachariah?" Adam asks.

"I'm gunna kill him. I'm going to kill him." Alexis mutters, wishing she'd have stabbed Zachariah already.

Sam reaches back and grabs her arm, silently telling her to calm down.

They get Adam cleaned up and then all grab seats around the room. Bobby was in his wheelchair just to the side of the bed that Adam was on. Dean was sitting backwards on a chair a few feet in front of Adam. Castiel was leaning on a desk behind Dean, and both Sam and Alexis were leaning on a desk to the side of Bobby.

"So, why don't you just tell us everything. Start from the beginning." Dean says.

Adam explains that he was in Heaven when some angels popped out of nowhere and told him that he was chosen to save the world. That he and some archangel are going to kill the devil. They'd apparently told him he was Michael's sword.

Cas speaks up and says that maybe the angels are moving on from Dean, using Adam. It's not perfect but is possible.

Beginning to feel crowded in the library and getting a headache, Alexis walks into the kitchen and grabs a beer, tuning out the rest of the conversation in the library, only registering the shouts.

* * *

Later on, Adam was sitting eating a sandwich at the table and Alexis decides to talk to him.

"What do you want?" Adam asks as she takes a seat across from him.

"Look, you don't know me, you have no idea who I even am, and I know you don't know Sam and Dean, but we're the good ones here. The angels, they're just using you. Trust me, I know." Alexis begins.

"Why? You said it yourself. I have no idea who you are. I don't even know your name." Adam interjects.

"I'm Alexis, Sam's girlfriend. But that doesn't matter. I heard you say earlier that if you do this right, you get to see your mom again. Your mom is dead, Adam. They won't bring her back, and when they're done with you, you'll be dead again too. You won't see her, not really. I lost my dad when I was 6 and my brother when I was 8. Seeing them again, having them back, would be amazing. But I wouldn't say yes to Michael, destroy half the world, to get that. So think about it, okay? Give us some time. There's another way, a better one, we just have to find it."

"Fine." Adam says.

She goes to stand up but Adam stops her, saying, "I'm sorry."

She turns back to him, a questioning look on her face.

"About your dad, and your brother. I'm sorry."

She nods and gives him a small, sad smile, saying, "I'm sorry about your mom."

He nods back in response.

"Alright, I'm going to promise you something, and I don't make promises easily, ask any one of them out there. You got caught up in this simply because you have John Winchester's DNA, and that's unfair to you. So, if this goes wrong, and you end up dead again, in Heaven or in Hell, I'm going to get you back, as long as I'm not dead too, okay? You deserve to live. You didn't deserve to die in the first place." Alexis says, not entirely sure what propelled her to do so. There was something about Adam, something she connected to, something that made her really feel for him.

Adam, a small tear or two in his eyes, asks, "Why? You don't even know me? And how could you even get me back?"

"I know I don't, but I'd like to. And uh, I know a guy." she replies, giving him a small smile. She knew that no matter how this went, Heaven was going to be chaos, allowing Gabriel to easily slip in and get Adam out if need be. And well, Hell, Gabe could get into no matter what if need be also.

Sam walks over a minute later and Alexis walks away, joining Bobby in the library since they had Dean in the panic room. This was a time she felt like she didn't belong, didn't quite fit in. Sam and Dean were Adam's brothers and they were the two that Heaven and Hell wanted. Bobby was practically their father and he had all the resources they needed. And Cas, well Cas was their angel. She was just Alexis, she couldn't help, she couldn't fix anything, and she couldn't do anything for them, which is why she spent most of the night out on the porch, alone.

Some time later, Sam walks out in a hurry.

"Sam! Where are you going?" she says, quickly on her feet.

"Dean got out. I gotta go find him. Just stay here, help Bobby keep an eye on Adam. Please." Sam says.

The look on his face and his tone of voice kept her from protesting. "Alright. Be careful, okay?" she says and then places a kiss on his cheek.

"You too." he responds and then walks away.

Alexis walks back inside and continues to sit in silence with Bobby while Adam was asleep on the bed in the library. A little later, with Adam still asleep, Alexis gets up to go to the bathroom. When she gets back, Adam is gone. When Sam gets back, he's pissed. Shortly after that, Castiel appears with a beaten up and unconscious Dean.

Castiel explains that the angels took Adam because Adam must have tipped them off, through a dream or something. Then he goes to check and reports back that they have Adam in the fancy room they'd taken Dean to before.

Before Dean wakes up, they get him to the panic room and handcuff him to the bed. Sam, not wanting to leave him, stays, asking to be left alone with Dean.

* * *

When morning rolls around, Castiel takes Sam, Dean, and Alexis to the place where Adam was being held. Once they get there, Castiel explains that there are at least five angels in there.

Cas takes off his tie and says, "I'll clear them out. You three grab the boy. This is our only chance."

"Whoa, wait, you're going to take on five angels?" Dean questions.

"Yes." the angel responds.

"Isn't that suicide?" Dean says.

"Maybe it is, but then I won't have to watch you fail. I'm sorry, Dean, I don't have the same faith in you that Sam does." Castiel replies.

Truthfully, Alexis wasn't sure she did either.

Cas then pulls out a box cutter, prompting Sam to ask what it was for. Without another word, Cas walks away, leaving the three hunters alone with the task of getting Adam.

After they hear shouts followed by silence, Dean heads in. After a few minutes, Sam and Alexis follow. Once in the 'beautiful room', Sam charges Zach, angel blade in hand, but gets thrown back into Alexis, knocking them both over. With the force and weight of Sam and how hard she hit the wall, Alexis was knocked out cold.

The next thing she knows, the room is shaking, her ears are ringing, and she's being pulled into someone's arms. She cracks her eyes open enough to see that it was Dean's arms she was being lifted up in. She feels herself being transferred into Sam's lap a few minutes later and then she feels him bring two fingers to her neck, checking for a pulse.

"Come on, Lex, wake up." he mutters, holding her tightly against his chest.

She cracks her eyes open again, struggling to keep them open this time, and mumbles, "Sam…"

"Shh, it's okay. We're going to get out of here." Sam says, trying to comfort her.

With that, she lets her head rest against Sam's chest and focuses on not falling asleep, since she was almost positive she had a concussion. From there, Sam carries her to the car and after making sure she wasn't bleeding, tells her to get some sleep, that he'd wake her up in a few hours. Her brain was telling her to stay awake but her body was screaming at her to just close her eyes, and that's what she did. She falls asleep in between Sam and Dean, her head on Sam's shoulder. At the end of the day, the three of them were still together, still a team.

* * *

_A/N: So this one is a lot shorter than most of my chapters and I'm sorry about that, I just didn't know where else to go with it or what else to add and didn't want to start 5x19. The next two chapters will be longer and probably take me some time to get up. Well I hope you liked the chapter, and in case I haven't said it in awhile, I love you all and greatly appreciate that you're still reading my story. _


	37. Demons

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the direct quotes from it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 37: Demons**

They'd spent the next three weeks lying low for the most part. They'd taken on two hunts, but other than that they were at Bobby's for the most part just trying to come up with something they could use. The three were currently on I-90 but had just come up to a detour. They ended up stopping off at a rather fancy hotel, the Elysian Fields Hotel, since a storm had blown up. Alexis reluctantly shakes Sam awake, despite how much she wanted to let him sleep. He'd been getting about as much sleep as she had recently, and that wasn't much.

As they were checking in, the clerk spots a nick on Dean's face and hands him a tissue. _Weird, Dean has been driving for the past few hours, how would that have gotten there? _She thinks to herself, making a note about how weird this whole place seemed. Once they'd gotten their keys, the clerk tells them about their all you can eat buffet, so that's where they head.

While Dean was getting pie, Alexis was finishing the yogurt parfait she'd grabbed and Sam was on his phone.

"This storm is bad, like Biblical bad. We should hit the road." Sam says.

"I don't know if we should drive in this though." she responds as Dean sits down.

"Why would we be driving? We've got a room." Dean says, joining in.

"It's friggin' Noah's Ark out there and we're eating." Sam state.

"How many hours of sleep did you get this week? Both of you for that matter. Three? Four?" Dean asks, now bringing her into it too.

"We've done just about everything we can. Bobby's got his feelers out. Would it kill either of you to just get some sleep?" the older Winchester continues.

Sam mumbles, "Yeah, whatever." And Alexis just nods in agreement, really indifferent as to if they stayed or left.

On their way to their room, they spot a couple that seemed to have just gotten married. Inside, while Dean is preoccupied with the chocolate on the pillows and the selection of porn on demand, both Sam and Alexis look around, seemingly picking up on the same thing.

Dean must have caught the looks on their faces because he asks, "What?"

"Isn't this place kind of in the middle of nowhere?" Sam says,

"So?" Dean responds.

"So what's a four star hotel doing on a highway in Indiana?" Alexis adds.

Cutting off Dean's response, they hear moans and bed springs coming from the room next door followed by a loud thud, the wall in their room cracking at the pressure. Exchanging glances, the three head into the hallway and pick the lock to the room next door, Sam walking in first. They find the room oddly empty, and to add to the oddness, Dean spots a ring on the floor. Sam and Dean head to the lobby to ask about the couple next door while Alexis goes back to the room. Sam had texted her a few minutes later that they were going to scope out the place and to keep an eye out for anything weird. About twenty minutes after that, she gets another text from Sam. '_It's a trap, we were led here. Be careful.' _

Now fully weirded out and not enjoying being alone, she gets up and walks into the hallway, but just as she rounds the corner, a hand wraps around her mouth and she's pulled into a room. As she's let go, she whirls around, preparing for a fight, but she comes face to face with Gabriel. "Gabriel?" she exclaims, not at all who she was expecting to see.

"I don't have time to explain, alright, but you three are in trouble. Big trouble. Have you mysteriously bled at all today?" the angel asks in a hushed tone.

"What? No. What's going on?" Alexis asks, trying to keep her voice down too.

"Good, then you can leave. Let me get you out of here." Gabe says.

"What? No! I'm not leaving without Sam and Dean."

"Alexis, listen to me. You are in danger, more so than Sam and Dean right now. I need to get you out of here and will whether you like it or not. I'll get the Winchesters out, but they can't leave right now. They're linked by a blood spell. Just take this DVD, do not let it out of your sight at any cost, and let me get you out of here." Gabriel says, not really giving her a choice.

She really didn't want to leave Sam and Dean here, not knowing that they were in trouble, but Gabriel had pretty much told her he was getting her out of there whether she wanted to go or not. Seconds later, she's standing in the foyer of her apartment in Chicago, completely alone. She sends a quick text to Sam, simply reading, '_Safe_', and then proceeds to pace. After ten minutes of that, she decides to bake, trying to keep her mind off of the boys and trying to convince herself they were okay and would call her soon.

Two hours later, her phone finally rings, and Alexis immediately answers it. "Sam! Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine. Are you? Where are you? What the hell happened to you?" Sam responds.

"Chicago. It's a long story, just get here as soon as you can."

"Okay. You're sure you're okay?" he asks, probably catching the tone in her voice.

"Yeah, I am. I'll be better when I lay eyes on you both." she replies.

"Alright, we're a few hours away. Try and get some sleep."

She laughs slightly and says, "Yeah, right. I'll see you soon."

After hanging up, she bakes a pie, to add to the few dozen cookies she had, and then finds herself watching Grey's Anatomy, which she'd set up to record, while waiting for the Winchesters. She was really curious about the DVD Gabriel had given her, seeing as the title was Casa Erotica, but she figured she should wait for the boys, knowing they probably needed to see it too. She just wasn't sure why it was porn or what was on it.

Out of the blue, sometime after midnight, she hears wings, causing her to practically jump off of the couch.

"Gabe! You're hurt!" she exclaims upon laying eyes on the archangel.

"I'm fine. Listen, I'm supposed to be dead. Lucifer thinks I am and soon, so will everyone else. So will Sam and Dean. You need to leave it like that. I need to go into hiding for a while. Call me only if you're in imminent danger of death, okay?" Gabriel explains quickly.

"What? Why?" she asks, not at all following.

"I just do, okay? Watch that DVD with Sam and Dean and do what is on there. After you end this apocalypse, one way or another, I'll be able to come out of hiding again. Be careful, Alexis."

Before she could say a word, Gabriel disappears, leaving her even more confused and worried than she was before. _If Lucifer thinks Gabe is dead, then that means Lucifer was there. Oh my God._

* * *

About an hour later, the Winchesters walk through the door. She lets out a huge sigh of relief as she goes to hug Sam. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you."

Both brothers nod and the three walk into the kitchen area.

"Is that pie?" Dean asks.

"Yeah."

"Jesus, Lex, how much did you bake?" Sam questions upon seeing the counter.

"Uh, a lot. I was nervous and I couldn't sit still, so I baked." she responds.

Both brothers chuckle and Dean goes to put his bag in his room while Sam just sets his down. Once Dean was out of earshot, Sam turns to her.

"Lex, I have to tell you something." Sam says, giving her a rather somber look.

She realizes that he thinks Gabriel is dead and she doesn't know. _Crap, another thing I have to lie to Sam about because of Gabriel. _Trying to look like she didn't already know, she asks, "What?"

"Gabriel, he um, he didn't make it out. He's dead, Lex." Sam says after stepping closer to her.

She closes her eyes. She knew it probably looked like she was trying to compose herself, and she was, just not the way Sam thought. _How am I supposed to keep this from him? He's expecting me to fall apart right now because Gabe's gone but he isn't and I know that. _"Dammit." she mutters.

Sam pulls her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her, and says, "I'm sorry."

She just shakes her head against his chest, truly having no idea what to say.

After letting him hold her for a minute, she pulls back, remembering the DVD. "He um, he gave me this DVD and told me we need to watch it." Alexis reaches down and grabs it off the table, handing it to Sam.

"Porn? He gave you porn?" Sam asks, raising an eyebrow and looking between the DVD and her.

"What about porn?" Dean asks, walking back into the room.

"Gabriel gave her this. Told her we need to watch it." Sam says, handing the DVD to Dean.

"He wants all of us to watch porn? Casa Erotica to be exact?" Dean asks, a slightly disgusted look on his face.

"I don't know. Let's just get this over with and see what's on it." Alexis says.

Sam grabs his laptop and hands it to Alexis. The three sit down on the couch, Alexis in the middle, and then put the DVD into the laptop and press play. It opens with a girl in lingerie and heels on a bed. She groans, really wishing Gabriel hadn't given her porn. When the person at the door walks in though, Alexis perks up. It was Gabriel. When he starts making out with the girl, she leans her head against Sam's shoulder, not needing to watch. When she hears her name though, she looks back to the screen.

"Sam, Dean, Alexis, you're probably wondering what the hell is going on. Well, if you're watching this, I'm dead. Sorry, Lex. Without me, you've got zero shot at killing Lucifer. Sorry, again. But… You can trap him. The cage you sprung Lucifer from is still down there, and maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in. Not that it'll be easy. You got to get the cage open, trick my bro back into it, and uh, oh yeah, avoid Michael and the God squad. But hey, details, right? And here's the big secret, Lucifer himself doesn't even know, but the key to the cage, it's out there. Actually, it's keys, plural. Four keys. Well, four rings, from the horsemen. You get them all, you got the cage. Can't say I'm betting on you boys, but, uh, hey, I've been wrong before. And Dean, you were right. I was afraid to stand up to my brother. But not anymore. So this is me, standing up. And this is me lying down." Gabriel says.

Seeing as Gabriel was finished and now seemingly about to sleep with the girl, Alexis shuts the laptop.

"Horsemen, huh?" Dean says, looking at the two of them.

"Guess so." Alexis says.

"Well, we got War's. We nicked Famine's. That's two rings down." Dean continues.

"All we need are Pestilence and Death." Alexis states.

"All? That's not easy." Sam says.

"It's a plan, Sam." Dean adds.

"And it's the only one we've got." she says.

"Alright, it's late, why don't we all just get some sleep and figure out what we're going to do in the morning. And I mean it, both of you get some damn sleep." Dean says firmly before walking down the hallway.

"You uh, you okay?" Sam asks her.

"I'm fine, Sam. Let's uh, let's just get some sleep. Real sleep."

Sam nods and stands up, extending his hand to her. She takes it, allowing him to help her up. The two then walk into the bedroom, both changing quickly, and slide into bed. Sam pulls her over to him so that her head was on his chest.

"At least we have a plan now." she says.

"Yeah. I just wish…"

"What?"

"I wish we could've gotten Adam out of there. It's not fair." Sam says sadly.

"I know it's not. I know." she responds.

Neither of them say anything else and eventually fall asleep.

* * *

The next morning, they began their search for Pestilence and manage to track him through a few towns, but miss him every time, but all they keep coming up with is swine flu. They had no pattern and no idea what he was doing, just that he was probably heading east. They were in West Nevada, the whole country was pretty much east.

Just as Sam hangs up with Bobby, a voice appears right next to Alexis, causing her to jump and punch it in the face. The body that belonged to the voice was Crowley, so she didn't feel too bad about punching him. In fact, she was rather satisfied with it.

"Watch the face, would you?" he asks.

Dean immediately pulls the car over and Sam goes to plunge the demon knife into Crowley, but he had disappeared already, now showing up outside the car. The three get out, all pissed at the demon, but Sam seemingly more so than the other two hunters. Crowley tells them he can give them Pestilence.

"That's got your interest, doesn't it?" Crowley says.

Sam turns to Dean and Alexis and asks rather loudly, "Are you actually listening to this? Both of you? He nearly got you killed, Lex!"

He was definitely pissed off. Crowley swears he didn't know the Colt wouldn't work and then nearly begs them to come with him, saying he knew about the rings. And much to Sam's dismay, they do.

Crowley takes them to some abandoned, broken down, house. When Dean asks how Crowley knew about the rings, he reveals that he'd hidden a magical coin of sorts in the Impala, allowing him to track them and hear things. The demon then tells them he wants in in helping put Lucifer back in the cage.

"You said you could give us Pestilence." Dean states.

"Well now, I don't know where Pestilence is, per se, but I do know the demon who does. He's what you might call the horseman's stable boy. He's who you want, believe me." Crowley tells them.

"Well how do we get him to spill? Rip out his toenails?" Dean questions, clearly having little patience with the demon.

"Nah. Nuts at his pay grade don't crack. We bring him here, then I sell him." Crowley continues.

"Sell him?" Sam asks.

"Please, I've sold sin to saints for centuries. Think I can't close one little demon?"

"Alright, so where's this demon?" Alexis asks.

A bit later, they're packing up and Sam expresses his displeasure at this whole thing once again.

"You ready to go?" Dean asks as Crowley walks in.

"Yes, I am, Sam keep the home fires burning." Crowley says.

"What are you talking about?" Dean questions as both Alexis and Dean turn to face the demon.

"Sam's not coming."

"And why the hell not?" Sam asks.

"Because I don't like you, I don't trust you, and oh yes, you keep trying to kill me." Crowley says bitterly, standing directly in front of Sam.

"There's no damn way. This isn't going to happen." Sam says, raising his voice.

"I'm not asking you, because you're not invited. I'm asking you two, what's it going to be?" the demon says, looking at Dean and Alexis.

None of them say anything for a minute and Crowley turns to walk away.

"Wait." both Dean and Alexis say after sharing a glance, earning them a glare from Sam.

"I'll go." Dean says.

"I'll stay with Sam." Alexis adds.

Dean and Crowley leave, leaving Sam and Alexis alone at the house.

"Sam, if Crowley's right, we've got a shot at Pestilence. Dean needed to go." she says, following him into the living room.

"We can't trust him." Sam says.

"I know."

"No, you don't. He almost got you killed, Lex. For four days, I thought you were dead. That's because of him." he says, his voice laced with anger.

"Sam…"

"No. No. All I could think when I saw him was how I almost lost you because of him. And now I remember how I felt that day and those four days after."

"Sam, look at me." she says firmly, getting him to stop pacing and face her.

She steps closer to him, taking one of his hands in hers, and says, "I know, okay? I know. But I am right here. No one died that day. I am sorry you had to go through that, I am, but I'm right here. Nothing is going to happen to me, I'm not going anywhere. If Crowley can help us get Lucifer back in the cage, we've got to do it. No matter how much you want to kill him."

Sam sighs and then nods. He then pulls her over to the couch and sits her there before starting a fire. Once he does that, he grabs a blanket that they'd brought in from the car and a bottle of whiskey before sitting down next to her. Sam then pulls her over to him, draping the blanket over them both, and uncaps the bottle, taking a swig. Alexis falls asleep with her head in Sam's lap and he eventually falls asleep too.

* * *

Sometime after the sun comes up, they hear a car outside. Crowley appears at the doorway saying that he was against this, that he'd begged Dean not to come back, that they should be miles away from Sam.

"What's going on?" Alexis asks.

"Just go. Go ahead. Ruin our last hope. It's only the end of the world." the demon says.

Sam walks past and Alexis follows him, completely confused.

They find Dean tying up the demon, who had a bag over his head, to a chair within a devil's trap.

"Sam." Dean says upon seeing the two of them.

"What's going on, Dean?" Sam questions.

"I need you to stay on mission, okay? Focused." Dean says.

"I don't understand. What's all this about?" Sam asks.

She was just as confused as Sam was. _What's going on? Why are they acting like this?_

"I'm doing this 'cause I trust you." Dean states.

The demon groans, seemingly waking up.

"Trust me to what?" Sam asks.

That's when the demon utters Sam's name. "Sam? Sam, is that you?"

_The demon knows Sam? Fuck. _

Dean goes to pull the bag off the demons head, and as he does, Alexis watches the recognition cross Sam's face as he asks, "Brady?"

The demon chuckles and responds, "Brady hasn't been Brady in years. Not since, oh… middle of our sophomore year?"

"What?" Sam asks.

"That's right. You had a devil on your shoulder even back then." Brady, the demon, says.

Alexis had stepped sideways slightly, closer to Dean, so she could see both Sam's face and the demon.

"Alright now, let it all sink in."

"You son of a bitch. You son of a bitch! You introduced me to Jess!" Sam roars, moving closer to the demon, causing Dean to hold him back.

Dean gets Sam out of the room, leaving Alexis alone with the demon.

"You crossed not one, but two Winchesters. You do realize there is no way in hell you are making it out of this alive, correct?" she says, glaring at the demon.

"Oh don't be like that. We could have fun. The same way I did with Jess, such a sweet thing. You're no different." Brady says.

"See, that's where you're wrong. I am not Jess nor did I know Jess. And Sam is not the same Sam he was either. Right now, you're useful. But you won't be forever. So go ahead, smirk at me, taunt us, just know you aren't making it out of here alive."

Crowley walks in a minute later, pulling a chair up in front of Brady and taking a seat.

She tunes out what the two demons were saying to each other and just stands against the wall.

When he'd finished, Crowley walks out, pulling Alexis with him. Crowley explains he now had to go 'bust open a hive of demons' and disappears.

"Where's Sam?" Alexis asks, taking a seat next to Dean.

"Cooling off."

"I think I need some of that whiskey now." she says, grabbing it off of the table and taking a swig of it.

* * *

She ends up falling asleep until a pounding on the bathroom door wakes her up. When she realizes Sam had locked Dean in, she quietly creeps over to the room Brady was being kept in. She figured that as long as Sam didn't kill Brady, she wouldn't have to try and stop him. She knew she could, but she also knew Sam needed some answers.

When Brady says that he was the one who killed Jessica, she steps closer so she could see Sam. When she sees Sam charge him, she steps all the way in. "Sam."

He turns to her immediately and she could see how angry he was but also how hurt he was. This demon was bringing up things from his past that he had buried.

"And now I can do to that piece of ass what I did to Jess. I must say, though, Sam, you upgraded." Brady continues.

She watches as Sam raises Ruby's knife, ready to kill Brady, so she pulls it out of his hand telekinetically. He turns to her, shock on his face.

"You can't do it, Sam. You can't. It's what he wants. Don't give him what he wants." she tells him, hoping that that would be enough and she wouldn't have to actually restrain him.

Sam walks out, right past her, as the demon laughs. Alexis goes to let Dean out of the bathroom and then the three walk back towards Brady, where they are met by Crowley.

"Good news. You're going to live forever." Crowley says as he walks towards Brady.

"What did you do?" Brady asks.

"Went over to a demons' nest, had a little massacre. Must be losing my touch, though, let one of the little toads live. Oops. Also might have given said toad the impression that you left your post last night, because you and I are - wait for it- lovers in league against Satan." Crowley explains with a chuckle, causing Brady to sigh.

"Hello, darling." Crowley begins, clearly satisfied. "So, now death is off the table. Now you get to be on the boss's eternal-torment list with little old me."

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no." Brady says, becoming less and less cocky by the second.

"So now, why don't you tell me where Pestilence is at?" Crowley asks.

Before Brady could answer, they hear barking and snarling.

"Oh God, Crowley." Brady says.

"Was that a hellhound?" Dean asks.

The sound sent a chill down Alexis' spine. Her last encounter with hellhounds nearly killed her and her sister. Sam must have sensed her fear or been slightly fearful himself because he pulls her to the side of him, one arm wrapped tightly around her waist.

"I'd say yeah." Crowley responds.

"Why was that a hellhound?" Dean asks.

Crowley, looking displeased, pulls a coin out of his jacket.

"What's that?" Sam asks.

Crowley explains that demons planted the same tracking device he had in the Impala, on him, meaning a hellhound followed him here.

"Get me out of here and I'll tell you anything you want." Brady says, earning a, "Shut up," from Sam.

"Okay, well, then we should go." Dean says.

"Sorry, boys. No one knows more about the hounds than I. You're long past the point of go." Crowley says, tossing the coin in the air and disappearing.

"Fuck." Alexis states.

"Dammit." Dean adds.

"I told you!" Sam says.

Dean, mockingly, says, "Oh well good for you." Then he adds, "Luckily, we have salt in the kitchen."

Dean walks off, leaving Sam and Alexis with Brady.

"Get me the hell out of here!" Brady roars as the snarling continues.

Alexis hears glass shatter and Sam pulls her behind him, protecting her with his body, as the two step back behind Brady. They hear shots fire as Sam goes to untie Brady. Dean walks in, no salt in hand, just a gun. The growling increases.

"Dammit, get me out of here." Brady roars, raising his voice even louder.

"Shut up!" Dean says, loading the gun.

As Dean cocks his gun, they hear Crowley shout, "Hey!"

"You're back?" Dean and Alexis say simultaneously.

"I'm invested. Currently." the demon responds. "Stay." he commands, now talking to the hellhound.

"You can control them?" Dean asks.

"Not that one. I brought my own. Mine's bigger." Crowley says, patting an invisible hellhound. "Sic em' boy!"

Dean moves out of the way, towards them, and both brothers, seemingly instinctually, put her behind them. If it weren't for the hellhounds, she'd have protested, but those things were now her least favorite creatures in all of creation.

As the snarling continues, Sam finishes untying Brady and Dean breaks the devil's trap on the floor with a knife. As soon as Brady is free, Sam pulls Alexis out of the room and Dean follows them. When they get to the car, both demons slide in back, and Alexis slides in upfront, in between the two brothers.

* * *

They drive for a bit before stopping in an alleyway. Brady gives Crowley a paper with Pestilence's location. Crowley hands it to Dean, telling him it's good, that Brady has no reason to lie anymore. Crowley then leaves and Dean lays a line of salt, trapping Brady in the alley.

"I told you. You crossed both Winchesters. You aren't making it out alive." Alexis tells the demon. Then she turns to the boys and says, "I'll be in the car."

Alexis watches from the window of the Impala, knowing that Sam needed this. He needed to kill Brady. It wouldn't solve everything, probably not really anything at all, but he needed it. Once Brady is dead, the three drive off in silence. They had Pestilence's location. Now they just needed to get his ring.

* * *

_A/N: This one ended up being shorter than I thought it would. Some of the dialogue is directly from the show, some is paraphrased, and some is altered or completely left out. The next chapter will cover the rest of season five and I expect to do a chapter to two of the in-between time. Let me know what you think! _


	38. State of Grace

_A/N: Here is where I veer off from canon a bit more and I fear I may lose some of you. I truly hope not, but I might. I had fully planned to follow this season through as it was written, but by the time I got to writing it, I just couldn__'t. My head and my heart took me somewhere else with it. So you'll have to read and decide for yourself on if you'll like my direction or not._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, Sam, Dean, or anything in it. I do own Alexis, Ryan, and Jake.**

* * *

**Chapter 38: State of Grace**

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Alexis hears Dean shout as she walks into Bobby's house.

"What's going on?" she asks, seeing that Dean was shouting at Sam.

As soon as both brothers hear her they fall silent and turn to her.

"What is it?" she asks. Both of them were staring at her oddly, as if whatever it was would physically hurt her.

"You gunna tell her? Or am I?" Dean says, turning to Sam, seemingly angry.

She had no idea what it was, but with the way Dean was talking about it and the way Sam was looking at her, she knew she wasn't going to like it.

"Lex, can we um, can we talk? Alone?" Sam asks, his eyes jumping around the room nervously, avoiding hers.

"No. Tell me now. What's going on, Sam?" she asks, truly starting to get freaked out.

"Go ahead Sammy, tell her about your genius plan." Dean adds sarcastically with a bitter undertone.

Sam takes a deep breath and says, "Alright, but hear me out, okay? Don't yell until I'm done."

_Yell? He thinks I'm going to yell? Oh this is so not good. _She nods and prepares to bite her tongue.

"Okay, remember when Bobby was possessed and instead of killing Dean he took control and stabbed himself?" Sam begins slowly.

"Yeah…" she responds, not liking where this was going.

"Well, if we get all these rings, we still have to get Lucifer in the cage. What if I say yes, take control, and jump in?"

His words hit her like a ton of bricks. She wasn't going to yell, she couldn't. She simply turns on her heels and heads out the door, tears beginning to fall by the time she reaches her car. She spots Sam out of the corner of her eye at the doorway, running to catch her, as she starts the ignition, but she peels out before he could catch up to the car. She didn't know where she was going. She just knew she needed to be somewhere else. She had to process what Sam had just said.

* * *

Alexis ends up at the very bridge she'd gone off of nearly two years before. It was closed, there had apparently been another accident recently and the bridge was closed off for repairs. She parks just before it and gets out, walking over to the ledge where she'd gone off. It appeared they were in the process of replacing the whole ledge of the bridge, so there was no barrier between the road and the edge, allowing her to sit and dangle her feet off the edge. She took her shoes off before doing so, not wanting them to plummet into the water and disappear. During the drive, she'd stopped crying, so now she was left with puffy eyes and tear streaked cheeks as she sat and mulled over every word Sam had said. What hurt her the most was that he had a point. They did need a way to get Lucifer in the cage, and if Sam were to say yes, he could potentially take over and jump in. But she'd lose Sam. And she was betting getting someone out of Lucifer's cage was a hell of a lot harder than getting someone out of Hell. She wasn't even sure they could to that. Cas was more than likely dead and Gabe was in hiding_. Though maybe he could come out if Lucifer was back in the cage_. So instead of thinking about the plan, she sat there trying to think of a way to be okay with it, a way that she could live without Sam. They'd been together for the better part of three years. In fact their anniversary was just a few weeks away. Hell, Sam had just told her a few weeks ago that after everything with the apocalypse was over, he was going to propose. And as much as she hated to admit it, she'd found herself picturing her and Sam married and having kids. Out of the hunting life. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. You should know better by now than to think you could ever be truly happy, Alexis, _she thinks to herself. And for as long as she sat there trying to imagine a life without Sam, she couldn't, at least not a life worth living. Sam and Dean are the only reasons she's even alive right now. Joshua wasn't planning on sending her back that time months ago, but he did, for them.

**-Sam-centric POV, back at Bobby's after Alexis leaves-**

"Way to go, Sam." Dean says bitterly as Sam walks back into the house, unable to have caught up to Alexis.

He felt awful, he did. Having to tell her his plan, seeing that look on her face, it was enough to make him want to cry. And now he had a missing Harvelle on his hands, and the girl could hide when she wanted to. "Just shut up, Dean. Bobby, do you know where she might go?"

"Girl always liked bridges. But there's a few around here." Bobby replies.

_The one she went off of. _"I got it. I'll be back." Sam says, grabbing his jacket. The bridge wasn't too far of a walk, maybe two miles, so he decides to go on foot. It would give her some time to think and him time to come up with what to say. Besides, she had her car anyway. He just hoped she was there and hadn't just kept driving.

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

Forty minutes later, she hears someone walk up. She didn't have to turn her head to know it was Sam, so she doesn't. She just keeps her eyes on the water below her.

"Thought I'd find you here." Sam says, taking a seat next to her.

"Think of how you felt." she responds.

"What?"

"Think of how you felt when you heard I'd died. And then when you heard I gave up. Think of how you felt."

"Lex-" Sam begins.

She cuts him off, forcefully saying, "Think about it Sam."

"I felt awful, okay? Awful. Like a part of me had died. When Bobby told me you were dead… it was like the last part of my world came crashing down. And I was pissed at myself because I had left you. Then, when you came back, and you explained that you- that you had given up, I was mad. But I was also sad, heart broken." he responds.

She knew he was looking at her, but she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. "Now think of how I'll feel if you do this."

"Lex…" Sam trails off, seemingly not knowing what to say. "Look at me."

When she doesn't turn her head, he puts his hand on her arm and says, "Lex, just look at me." Still not having turned her head, he adds more firmly, "Alexis."

At the use of her full name, she turns and brings her eyes to his. He was near tears. "What, Sam? What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. I was expecting you to yell or something. Not this."

"Expecting? How long have you been thinking about this?" she asks, truly curious.

"Few weeks." he responds, averting his eyes.

"A few weeks? And I'm the last person to hear about it? What the hell, Sam?" Alexis says, slightly raising her voice.

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"And you're just doing such a fine job with that, aren't you?" she responds, unable to keep her bitterness concealed. For as hurt as she felt, she was also rather angry.

"Lex, I don't want to fight with you." Sam says.

She knew he was really trying to calm her down and not fight, but she couldn't. She was too angry.

"Why? Because you might be dead soon?" Alexis retorts bitterly.

Sam closes his eyes and sighs. "No, because you're my girlfriend, whom I love and don't want to fight with."

"You sure have a hell of a way of showing it then." she says, standing up and heading back to her car.

"Lex, stop." he says, grabbing her arm and spinning her back towards him.

"What?" she snaps, glaring at him.

"I hate this. I hate fighting with you. Dean and Bobby don't agree with the plan either, it's not going to happen, okay?"

"Like that's going to stop you." she mumbles.

"What?"

"You do what you want to do, Sam. It's not my decision, it's not Dean's, and it's not Bobby's. It's yours." Alexis says, quietly adding, "And besides, that's only two against two."

"What? What was that last part? Two against two?" Sam questions, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

"The plan would work, Sam. You have a point, and it would save a hell of a lot of people. It would work. I believe you're strong enough to fight the devil. That's part of why I'm so pissed."

"You know as well as I do that Dean would lock me in the panic room if he thought I was going to go through with it against his word. It's not going to happen, okay? We'll come up with something else."

That's when an idea hits her, though she already knows no one would like it. Hell, she'd be the one locked in the panic room if Dean found out.

"What?" Sam asks, seemingly catching onto her expression.

"Nothing." she responds quickly, apparently too quickly.

"What is it?"

"Well, um…" she trails off.

"Spit it out, Lex."

"The guy Lucifer is in now isn't his true vessel, right? So he's not at his full potential or whatever?" she begins, now knowing exactly how Sam felt trying to tell her his plan.

"Yeah… Where are you going with this?" Sam asks, crossing his arms. They were both standing now, a few feet away from the ledge of the bridge.

"Well, if not being in you, which sounds wrong, by the way-"

"What are you trying to say?" Sam cuts her off, his voice slightly raised.

"If he needs his true vessel to be at full power or whatever, maybe you wouldn't be the person to do it. I mean, he's an angel but for the most part demonic, right? That's another reason why he wants you? The demon blood? I have angel grace-" she begins, only to be cut off again.

"Lex, don't even-"

"Let me finish, Sam. Couldn't the angel grace potentially counteract with that and weaken him? Then I could take control and jump in. Gabe could probably get me out." Alexis says, not realizing she'd said the last part until it was too late.

"Hell no. And Gabriel is dead…." Sam trails off.

She averts her eyes, knowing she couldn't look him in the eye and lie.

"Lex, he's dead, right?"

"N-not exactly." she mumbles, now inspecting her shoes instead of looking at Sam.

"Alexis!" he exclaims.

"What?"

"How long have you known?" he questions. Now it was his turn to be mad.

"Uhh… kinda the whole time."

"Define kinda." he says, his jaw clenched.

She could tell he was doing his best to not yell at her. He was the yelling type where as she was the silent treatment type.

"The whole time." she mumbles, nearly inaudibly.

"What the hell, Lex? How many times are you going to lie to me for him?" Sam says, looking at her with a mixture of disbelief and anger and swinging his arms out.

"He told me to keep it to myself! He trusted me enough to do that! And don't act like you haven't lied to me before." she retorts, her voice growing hard.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You told me you weren't going anywhere. You even said that after this apocalypse stuff was over you'd- you'd propose. And I stupidly believed you," she laughs tightly before continuing, "actually began picturing it. God, I'm an idiot." she shouts, feeling tears welling up.

"I did not lie about that." Sam responds firmly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears also.

"Well it looks like it from where I'm standing. Because you're ready to throw yourself into the pit, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think they have weddings down there." She was at the point that she didn't even know why she was shouting at him. She was just all around mad.

"Lex, stop."

"Why, Sam? Why? What's the point? What's the point in anything anymore? If you don't plan on being here much longer, why should I stop? Why should I even bother?" Alexis responds, beginning to pace. She'd picked that up from Sam. Before she'd met him, she was more of the sit silently and stew kind instead of the pace circles in the floor kind.

"I never said that." Sam says, walking over to her. Then, placing his hands on her shoulders to keep her from pacing, he adds, "Alexis, look at me. I _never _planned on leaving you. I don't want to. God, the thought of you here without me is enough to make me feel physically sick. Because I know what it feels like to lose you, for months or for days, it doesn't get any better. I don't want to ever cause you that much pain."

She just shakes her head, not sure how to respond.

"Marry me."

Alexis wasn't sure she'd heard right. _Did he just say 'marry me'? _She looks up at him, tilting her head slightly, and asks, "What?"

"Marry me." he repeats, louder this time.

"Are you insane?" _Did he not just hear everything we just said?_

"Marry me. I don't want to leave you. We'll figure it out, alright? Just say yes."

Looking into Sam's eyes, she could see he meant it. The guy had no plans whatsoever to leave her, by dying or otherwise. And she could see herself spending the rest of her life with Sam, however long or short that may be. And like that, all the anger melted away. The answer for her was simple. "Yes."

"Yes?" Sam repeats, like he wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly.

"Yes, I'll marry you, Sam Winchester." she responds, smiling, as a tear slides down her cheek. They weren't sad or angry tears anymore, they were happy ones.

"God you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that." Sam says, smiling at her now too.

"Then shut up and kiss me."

He takes his hands off of her shoulders, moving them up to caress her face, and then crashes his lips into hers. She was almost positive she'd never been kissed like this before. It was just so passionate and deep, but also loving and gentle. Any adjective that could be used to describe a perfect kiss would describe this one right now. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down as close to her as she could. Breaking the kiss for a mere second to get air, Sam runs one of his hands through her hair, wrapping his other around her waist. Before she knew it, Sam was lifting her up and she was instinctually wrapping her legs around his waist. One of his hands was now up the back of her shirt, the other around her waist, holding her against him. Still lip-locked, Sam was moving towards her car, quickly reaching the door and pressing her up against it. She knew exactly where this was going and it just didn't seem to be happening fast enough. Removing one hand from Sam, she hastily pulls out her car keys and unlocks the doors. As soon as she does, Sam opens the door and throws her down onto the back seat. Before getting in the car himself, he pulls off his shirt and both of their pants, discarding them on the car floor. Then he ducks inside, looming over her, crashing his lips to hers again. Breaking the kiss, she quickly pulls her shirt off and discards it on the car floor also. Flipping her on top of him, Sam's hands were quickly unfastening her bra as her hands were working at his boxers. Once Sam was completely naked, he flips her back over so that he can slip off her underwear. Without warning, Sam thrusts himself inside of her, causing her to inhale sharply in pleasant surprise. He was looming over her again, his lips mere inches from hers. With another thrust, she scratches her nails down his muscular back. His lips crash into hers as he thrusts again. Both of them were quickly at the edge and being pushed over, unable to muffle their sounds as they both shutter with release. Chests heaving, Sam flips her back over so that she was resting against him. The two just lie there, skin on skin, in silence for a few moments, each breathing heavily.

"We need a ring." Sam says finally.

"Seems to be a common trend these days." she replies.

Sam adjusts her against him, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her closer so that her head rested just below his. "We'll figure it out, I mean it."

Alexis just nods in response.

"Lex?" Sam asks after a minute.

"Hm?"

"Did you um, did you mean what you said about how you began picturing it? Us married?"

"Yeah. After you said it, I couldn't help myself. I'd find myself looking at you sometimes, when you were completely absorbed in something else and didn't notice, and just think of how great of a father you'd be."

"Kids?" Sam asks.

"Yeah, I thought about it. I mean I never thought I'd want kids, truly I think I'd be a horrible mother, but I know you'd be a great father and that if you'd want them, so would I."

"You'd be a great mother, Lex." he replies, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

She just shakes her head and says, "No I wouldn't. But anyway, yes. I pictured it. Even pictured us out of hunting."

"We could."

"What?" she questions, not following.

"We could get out of hunting. Get married, have kids, life a normal life, or relatively. I mean we could live in Chicago, or we could live by your mom and sister, by the roadhouse. We'd probably still want to be aware of hunting so we could be prepared if something was coming, but we could do it."

"I think I like the sound of that." she replies, smiling.

"Well then, we should get back to Bobby's. Figure out how to get the other two rings." Sam says.

"You know we're going to have to do this behind Dean's back, right? Figure out what to do? Because if we're going to trap Lucifer, probably with Gabe's help, we gotta keep it between us."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"And Sam? What I said earlier, I think we might want to ask Gabe about it. It might actually work."

At that, Sam sits up, turning her around so she faced him. "No. No way. You are not letting Lucifer possess you. It'll kill you." he says firmly, his hands on her shoulders.

"Sam-"

"No. I am not losing you. No."

"I didn't say that. If Gabe would be able to get me out, it's probably going to be our best shot." she tells him, reaching for her bra.

When she sees the look on his face she adds, "It's just an option, okay? We'll talk to Gabriel later about it. For now, we need to get Pestilence's ring and Death's. We should get back to Bobby's."

"But I like being here." Sam says, pulling her back against him just as she'd gotten her bra on.

"So do I. But we have to go back. Dean and Bobby will start to think one of us killed the other." Alexis says with a small laugh.

Sam gives her his kicked puppy face, causing her to laugh even more. "Come on, get dressed." she says, sitting up and grabbing the pile of clothes.

* * *

The two get dressed and head back to Bobby's. Before getting out of the car, Alexis says, "We probably shouldn't tell anyone about well, anything."

"You mean the fact that I can now call you my fiancé instead of girlfriend?" Sam asks, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, that. Just until we get all of this done."

"Okay."

The two head in and find Bobby reading some book and Dean in the kitchen.

"Took you long enough." Dean states.

"Sorry." Alexis responds.

"Cas called. He's alive, but he's apparently human. Has no angel mojo or anything. He's in a hospital." Dean explains.

"He's alive?" Sam questions.

"Yep. Now come on, we've got a ring to get." Dean responds, heading towards the door.

Alexis and Sam share a glance before turning and following Dean.

A few hours later they're outside of Serenity Valley Convalescent Home.

"So this is it?" Alexis asks.

"Yep." Dean replies.

"Great. Whole building full of people and we don't know who's human, who's demon, and who's Pestilence." Sam states. "So what do we do?"

Dean spots a surveillance camera and comes up with a plan to get into the camera room so they can view everything better.

The three of them get inside and then sit watching the surveillance screens for a while, none of them really sure what they're actually looking for. Eventually Sam spots a guy whose face gets blurred out on the screen and makes the video go fuzzy. They follow him on the cameras for a minute before going to find him. As they get closer, they all start to feel sick. Both Dean and Sam begin coughing and Alexis feels as if a fever had just hit her and her vision was getting slightly spotty. The closer they get, the more affected they get. It got to the point where Sam and Dean were using the walls to keep moving and Alexis was walking slowly on her own. They reach the door that Pestilence was behind and a demon nurse swings it open. Sam falls over in the doorway, Alexis staggers a few feet in and leans against the wall, and Dean had fallen over in the hallway.

"Sam, Dean. And you. You I don't know." Pestilence says.

"Doesn't matter, asshole." Alexis manages to choke out before sinking to a seated position on the floor.

The demon nurse pulls Dean in and lays him next to Sam, both of them coughing.

"However you feel right now, it's going to get so very very much worse. Questions?" Pestilence says.

He continues on some ridiculous, pompous monologue but Alexis tunes him out, instead trying to focus on the knife she'd dropped. She manages to get it to herself, lifting it up unnoticed, and tries to aim it. That's when Castiel walks in, taking the horseman's attention away long enough for her to launch the knife at him. It lodges in his chest, causing him to bend down, allowing Cas to grab Dean's knife and cut off the ring. Within seconds, the three hunters are on their feet. Dean grabs the ring and Castiel kills the demon.

Pestilence says, "Doesn't matter. It's too late." He then disappears.

Alexis finds herself a bit lightheaded and staggers a bit, miscalculating how much energy she had actually used.

"Whoa, hang on. I got you." Sam says, quickly walking over to her and wrapping an arm around her waist to support her.

"Used more energy than I thought. I'm okay though." she says, not bothering to shake him off.

"Yeah, well you're sleeping in the car. Cas can sit up front and I'll sit back with you." Sam says.

She just nods and lets him help her out of the hospital, trailing Dean and Castiel. When they reach the car, Sam slides in the backseat, pulling her with him, and pats his lap, indicating for her to lie down and sleep. She does, knowing that if she could sleep the whole ride back to Bobby's, she'd be fine.

* * *

When they get back, they tell Bobby what Pestilence had said before disappearing. It hadn't sat well with any of them.

"We're just a little freaked out that he might of left a bomb somewhere. So please tell us you have actual good news." Dean says.

"Chicago's about to be wiped off the map." Bobby states.

At that, Alexis is immediately standing, "What?"

"Storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are going to die." Bobby explains.

"I have to go." Alexis states, turning for the door. Before she could take more than two steps though, Sam grabs her arm, pulling her back towards him.

"Hold on. Bobby, can we stop it?" Sam asks.

"I don't understand your definition of good news." Castiel adds.

Alexis tries wriggling out of Sam's grasp, but he just tightens his hold on her arm.

"Sam, let me go. Ryan and Jake are there right now. I have to get them out." she says.

"Just slow down, Lex. Bobby?" Sam says, trying to keep his hold on her.

"Well, Death, the horsemen, he's going to be there and if we can stop him before he kick-starts this storm, get his ring back-" Bobby continues.

"Then let's go!" Alexis exclaims.

"Would you hold on?" Dean says, now turning to her.

"Bobby, h-how'd you put all this together, anyways?" Sam asks.

"I had, you know… help." Bobby says.

Alexis was growing more and more impatient by the minute. She couldn't stand by and let Chicago be obliterated. She just couldn't. She manages to get free from Sam's hold. When he reaches to grab her again, she says, "I'm just going to call Ryan and Jake, alright? Tell them to get out of the city."

"Hold on. Both of you. What do you mean help?" Dean asks.

That's when they hear a glass clink in the kitchen followed by an unmistakable English accent, "Don't be so modest. I barely helped at all."

_Crowley._

"Hello boys, Alexis. Pleasure, et cetera." the demon says, walking into the room from the kitchen and leaning against the doorway.

"Go ahead, tell them. There's no shame in it." Crowley adds, talking directly to Bobby.

All three turn to Bobby and Sam asks, "Bobby? Tell us what?"

"World's gonna end. Seems stupid to get all precious over one little...soul." Bobby says.

"You sold your soul?" Dean questions.

"Are you serious?" Alexis states, staring at the older hunter in shock.

"Oh, more like pawned it. I fully intend to give it back." Crowley says.

Alexis just scoffs, not sure what to say.

"Well then give it back!" Dean states, turning to the demon.

"I will."

"Now!" Dean exclaims.

"Did you kiss him?" Sam asks.

"Sam!" Alexis and Dean exclaim simultaneously.

"Just wondering." Sam responds, raising his hands slightly in surrender.

With that thought, all three hunters turn back to Bobby.

"No." Bobby states, as if it were a preposterous idea.

Crowley clears his throat, causing all three to turn to him. The demon was holding a phone that was displaying a picture of him kissing Bobby.

"Why'd you take a picture?" Bobby questions.

"Why do you have to use tongue?" the demon retorts.

"I'm uh, I'm going to go make that phone call now." Alexis says, walking out of the room. She did not want to be in that room any longer than she had to.

Sam follows her.

"What? Don't trust me to make a phone call?" she asks once they were both on the porch.

"No. I don't want to be in there any longer than I have to either." Sam responds, leaning against the railing.

Alexis pulls out her phone and dials Ryan.

"Hey, Lex." he answers.

"Hey, Ry. Listen, you and Jake need to get out of Chicago. Preferably out of the state or way south." Alexis says.

"What? Why? What's going on?" Ryan asks.

"I don't have time. Just trust me on this, okay? Pack up and head out as soon as you can."

"Hey, who is it?" Alexis hears on the other end of the line. It wasn't Ryan, it sounded like her sister.

"Was that Jo?" she asks.

"Uh, yeah. Look, they were going to tell you but um, she and Jake are kind of dating."

"Kind of dating? How can they be kind of dating?" Alexis questions. Her sister hadn't dated anyone in awhile. And now, thinking it over, Jake made sense for her.

Sam's interest had been sparked as he raises and eyebrow and walks closer so that he could hear.

"They should really tell you. We'll pack up and leave, okay? But if something's going to happen, you're not going to be here either, right?" Ryan asks.

"Uh…"

"Lex." Ryan states firmly, almost chastising her.

"Someone's got to stop it." she replies.

She could practically hear Ryan shake his head as he says, "Just be careful. Call me later, alright? So I know you didn't get yourself killed?"

"Yeah, okay. Bye, Ry." Alexis says and then hangs up.

"Who's dating?" Sam asks her.

"Apparently my sister and Jake."

"Huh." Sam responds.

"Yeah. We should probably get back inside."

"Son of a bitch is keeping Bobby's soul as insurance." Dean states as the two walk back inside.

* * *

Later on, thanks to Crowley, the discover that there were going to be supposed swine flu vaccines shipped out for simultaneous countrywide distribution that instead held the Croatoan virus.

"So we split up." Alexis states once the three of them were all standing together.

"Guess so." Dean responds.

"Well I think you both know where I intend to go. I'll go alone, but I'm pretty sure neither of you will let me. So who's it going to be?" she says.

Sam and Dean share a look before Dean says, "I'll go. I think Lex and I have had our share of the Croatoan virus for the past year."

Sam looks hesitant for a minute but then says, "Alright. Just be careful. If it goes south, high tail it out of that city, you got that?"

The other two hunters nod in response and Dean mumbles about forgetting something before walking away.

"I mean it, Lex. If you two can't stop Death, I want you to get as far away from Chicago as you can." Sam tells her.

"Okay."

"Promise me."

"What?"

"I know you, Lex. Promise me you'll get out if it's needed." Sam says, stepping closer to her.

"I promise, okay?" Alexis responds. She loved Chicago as if it were her home and she knew that Sam knew that, which is probably why he made her promise to leave if it became necessary.

"Okay. Good."

"We should get going. Dean's coming back and we all should hit the road."

Sam nods and says, "Be careful."

Alexis stands up on the tips of her toes and presses a kiss to Sam's lips before replying, "You be careful too."

Dean walks back outside and the three hunters walk over to Castiel and Bobby. Sam goes to hand Dean Ruby's knife when Crowley shows up and hands Dean a weapon that belonged to Death and supposedly could kill him and anything else.

"So, shall we? Bobby, are you just going to sit there?" Crowley says after handing the weapon to Dean.

"No, I'm gonna river dance." Bobby responds, sarcasm seeping through his words.

"I suppose if you want to impress the ladies." the demon says.

At the looks he sees on the other hunters' faces, he continues, "Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Really wasted that crossroads deal. Fact - you get more if you phrase it properly. So, I took the liberty of adding a teeny little sub-a clause on your behalf. What can I say? I'm an altruist. Just gonna sit there?"

Alexis, Dean, and Sam all turn to Bobby, who glances down and realizes he can move his feet. Then, to everyone's surprise, he stands up. "Son of a bitch." Bobby mutters in awe.

"Yes, I know. Completely worth your soul. I'm a hell of a guy." Crowley says.

Bobby thanks him and then they all get going.

"I can drive." Alexis says as she and Dean walk to the Impala.

"So can I. You are going to sleep." Dean responds.

"I don't need to."

"Lex, between me and you, you are the one who needs sleep more. So just sleep, alright?"

"Fine. But you should sleep too. We can switch in a few hours. Just wake me up. That is if I even fall asleep."

Once they hit the road, Alexis manages to fall asleep for a few hours. When she wakes up she sees a text from Sam.

"_Cas says my plan would work. Yours probably would too." _

"_Okay. We'll have to talk to him about it alone later." _Alexis responds.

Then, setting her phone down, she turns to Dean. "I can drive from here. You should get some sleep too."

"I'm good." he responds.

"Dean." she says firmly, giving him a hard look.

"Alright, fine. I'll pull over and we can switch."

Dean does so and falls asleep after about ten minutes.

* * *

Sometime the next morning they arrive and Crowley shows up, showing them to where they needed to be.

As they round a corner, Alexis spots reapers.

"Whoa." she mutters.

"What?" Dean asks.

"Reapers. Everywhere." she replies, shivering slightly. The last time she'd seen that many, she and Jo nearly died.

"You can see them?" Crowley asks, turning to her.

"Yep. Can demons?"

"Yes. Alright, that's where Death is. That big ugly building. I'll be back." the demon says.

Crowley disappears, only to reappear behind them a minute later and announce Death is not in the building and that he doesn't know where he is.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't know?" Dean says, clearly angered.

"Signs pointed. I-I'm just as shocked as you." the demon responds and walks away.

"Bobby sold his soul for this." Dean states.

"Relax." Crowley says, turning back to face them. "All deals are soul back or store credit. We'll catch Death in the next doomed city."

"Hell no! He's here and we have to find him. Chicago is not just going to be obliterated. Not if I have anything to say about it." Alexis says, also growing angry.

"I can't make you leave but I strongly suggest you get out of here before Death destroys the city with you in it." Crowley says and then walks away.

Before Dean could say a word she turns to him and says, "I am not leaving."

"Yeah, I figured as much. Find Death on our own I guess. You being able to see reapers may help." Dean responds.

The two head back to the Impala only to find Crowley again. The demon disappears again only to reappear, saying he'd found Death. In a pizzeria.

Crowley disappears yet again and Alexis and Dean get back out of the Impala.

"Let's go kill Death or whatever." Dean says.

"God our lives are messed up." she responds.

Dean just shakes his head and the two cross the street to the pizzeria.

When they reach the door, Dean whispers, "Do you see any reapers?"

"Not a one."

The two then sneak in as quietly as possible, only to find that Death had been expecting them, or at least Dean.

"Join me, Dean. And Alexis. The pizza's delicious." Death says.

Not sure what else to do, the two walk forward and Dean sits across from Death while Alexis pulls up a chair to the side of Dean.

"Took you long enough to find me. I've been wanting to talk to you, Dean. You, Alexis, I've heard plenty about, but did not expect."

"I gotta say… mixed feelings about that. So is this the part where… where you kill us?" Dean says.

Death sits back, looking them in the eye for the first time.

"You have an inflated sense of your importance. To a thing like me, a thing like you, well… Think how you'd feel if a bacterium sat at your table and started to get snarky." Death says.

_I'm literally sitting in front of Death. In Chicago. In a pizzeria. This is beyond weird._

"So are you going to kill us or what? If we're so insignificant, why bother with small talk?" Alexis asks.

Instead of answering her, Death just places a piece of pizza on a plate for each of them and instructs them to eat. The two hunters share a nervous glance before both picking up silverware and attempting to eat the pizza.

"Good, isn't it?" Death says.

Figuring it wouldn't hurt to play his game of small talk, Alexis responds, "This is average. There's a better place on Michigan Avenue. If you let this city stick around, you should try it."

"Perhaps I will." Death responds.

Dean asks how old Death is. The response is that he's as old as God, maybe older, but in the end, Death will reap God too.

"So if God will die and you'll reap him in the end, what about you? Do you die? Or what?" Alexis asks.

"I do not know."

"Okay, why are we still breathing? This is clearly way above our pay grade. What do you want?" Dean asks.

"The leash around my neck - off. Lucifer has me bound to him. Some unseemly little spell. He has me where he wants me, when he wants. That's why I couldn't go to you. I had to wait for _you_ to catch up. He made me his weapon. Hurricanes, floods, raising the dead. I'm more powerful than you can process and I'm enslaved to a bratty child having a tantrum." Death explains.

"And you think… we can unbind you?" Dean replies.

"There's your ridiculous bravado again. Of course you can't. But you can help me. Take the bullets out of Lucifer's gun." Then, raising his hand, the horseman continues, "I understand you want this."

"Yeah." Dean responds hesitantly.

"I'm inclined to give it to you."

"Give it to us?" Alexis questions.

"That's what I said."

"But what about… Chicago?" Dean asks.

As thunder crashes outside, Death responds, "I suppose it can stay. There's apparently even better pizza I have yet to try." He then takes of his ring and holds it out to them. "There are conditions."

"Okay, like?" Dean says.

"You have to do whatever it takes to put Lucifer in his cell."

"Of course." Dean responds quickly.

"_Whatever _it takes." Death stresses.

"That's the plan." Dean replies.

"Now, if you'll excuse us, Dean, I need to speak with Alexis alone, she needs to make a promise before you get the ring."

"But-" Dean begins but Death cuts him off, waving his hand. Like that, Dean disappears.

"I thought you weren't expecting me." she says.

"I wasn't. But you are here, meaning Sam is not the only way to put Lucifer back in his cage. I wasn't sure at first, but now I am. I can sense it."

"You… you're saying that if I get Lucifer to possess me, like I talked to Sam about, I could get him back in the pit?" Alexis asks.

"Precisely. You're smart, Alexis, and I believe people underestimate you. As do angels and demons. You're Sam's girlfriend, correct?"

Alexis nods, not correcting him on it technically being fiancé.

"Lucifer would possess you easily, thinking he could get to Sam that way. Then you would have to jump in."

"That's what I thought. So you want me to promise I'll do that?" she replies.

Death nods.

"I promise. You have my word, and you should know that I don't promise things easily."

"Alright then." Death says, handing the ring to her. He then explains to her what he called 'the instruction manual' as the storm lifts up outside.

When she finally walks out to the Impala, Dean is immediately all over her, firing questions rapidly.

"What did he want? Did he hurt you? What happened? What did you say? Did you get the ring?" Dean asks, his eyes scanning her for any sign of injury.

"Dean, I'm fine. I got the ring. Let's go." Alexis says, walking to the other side of the car and sliding into the passenger seat.

"No way. What happened in there?" Dean asks as he gets in the driver's seat.

"He made me promise something. I'm not going to tell you what so don't ask. He gave me the ring and told me how to use it, how to use them all together. Okay? Let's head back to Bobby's now."

Dean stares at her for a minute before starting the Impala and pulling onto the road. After about an hour of driving in silence, Dean speaks up.

"Alright, I gotta ask, what did you say to Sam yesterday? You two were gone a long time." Dean asks.

"Dean I can't… I can't get into that with you." she replies.

"Why the hell not? You didn't tell him to do it, did you?"

"What? No. No! I just can't tell you, okay? It's just… between us. He's not going to do it though, okay? It's not happening."

"Fine." Dean grumbles, turning back to the road.

* * *

They continue in silence for a few more hours before stopping for food. By the time they get back to Bobby's it was after eleven and both Bobby and Sam were back and asleep.

Alexis and Sam had taken to sleeping in her room in the basement when they were at Bobby's, so that's where Alexis finds Sam. Since he was asleep and she didn't want to wake him, she quickly slips out of her clothes, only throwing on one of Sam's shirts before sliding in next to Sam. Instinctually, despite still being asleep, Sam wraps an arm around her and pulls her close to him. Within minutes, she falls asleep. For the first time in months, she actually felt like things were going to work out.

The next morning she wakes up with the feeling of eyes on her. Sure enough, when she cracks open her eyes she finds Sam staring at her.

"Morning." he says.

"Morning. Um, were you watching me sleep?" she asks, rubbing her eyes.

"I was just admiring my fiancé. And thinking about how this is what I'll be waking up to for the rest of my life."

_How is it even possible that both of us can actually be happy right now? The end of the world is looming over our heads. _"When did you get so sappy?" Alexis questions, smiling at him.

Sam just shakes his head and asks, "So, what happened with Death?"

Alexis first fills him in on what Death had told both she and Dean and then the ring and how it works, leaving the part about her promise to the horseman to the end.

"And um, before he gave us the ring, he uh, asked to speak to me alone and made me promise something." she says, biting her bottom lip.

Sam raises an eyebrow and asks, "What?"

"Well, um, he made me promise to do whatever it takes. He said my idea, where Lucifer possesses me and I jump in, would work. I sorta promised him I'd do it."

"Lex! How could you promise him that? You said we'd talk about it, figure it out together."

"What was I supposed to say, Sam? I had to."

"Let's go." Sam says, getting out of bed.

"What? Where?" she questions, caught off guard at the sudden change in conversation.

"We're going to go call Gabriel. If he can't get you out, I don't care what you promised Death, you are not doing it." Sam says firmly, pulling on pants and a shirt.

From the look on his face, she knew better than to argue with him. So she just gets out of bed and changes. The two then head out, leaving a note for Bobby and Dean, both of whom were still asleep.

Sam drives to some abandoned building about fifteen minutes away and parks. Without a word, Sam gets out of the car and walks in, leaving Alexis to follow him.

As soon as they're both standing inside, Sam says, "Call him."

"Call him or summon him?" she questions.

"Call him. If he doesn't come, then summon him I guess."

Alexis shrugs and calls out, "Gabriel! I know you said you need to hide but I really need you right now. It's important."

Seconds later, Gabriel appears. "What happened? Who's dying?" he asks, looking around.

"N-no one. We just need to ask you something." Alexis replies.

"Ask me something? Are you kidding me?" Gabe exclaims, swinging his arms out in exasperation.

"Look, we think we know how to stop this. We have all four rings and are pretty sure we can get Lucifer in the cage. Death even said it would work. We just need to know something from you." she explains.

"Okay, what?" the archangel asks.

"If Lex were to say yes to Lucifer and jump in, could you pull her out?" Sam asks.

"You say yes and jump in?" Gabe asks, turning to her.

"That's the plan." she responds.

"Dammit." Gabriel mutters.

"What?" she asks.

"It's a good plan. Yes, I could get you out." he replies.

"You're sure?" Sam questions.

"Yes I'm sure. Now how exactly do you plan on finding him? If you two are together, he'll know something is up. And do you have Castiel in on this?"

At that, they call Cas and tell him to come meet them. Once he gets there and they explain the plan, Castiel just stares at them for a moment.

"So you say yes to Lucifer and then open the cage and jump in? Interesting." the trench-coated angel says.

The four of them, two hunters and two angels, spend the next forty-five minutes devising an actual plan. Castiel tells them that omens point to Lucifer being in Detroit. The plan they come up with is for Gabriel to zap them to somewhere outside of Detroit and then when they figure out just where Lucifer is, Alexis will go alone, the four rings in her pocket. Both Cas and Gabe will trail behind her, making sure things go properly. When Lucifer catches Alexis, she'll say she found out he was there and came alone and then plead for him to just take her instead of Sam. So Lucifer, thinking he can get to Sam more easily, will possess her. Then, hoping that the angel grace will have the opposite affect of demon blood and weaken Lucifer, Alexis will gain control and open the cage, calling to Gabriel before she jumps in.

"I wasn't sure you guys could do it, but this should actually work." Gabriel says.

"When are we going to do this? We have to get out without Dean and Bobby noticing." Alexis says.

"Now?" Gabe responds.

"Now?" Alexis and Sam repeat, both of their eyes widening slightly.

"You're both out already and all four of us are here. You have the rings with you. So now." the archangel says.

Before either hunter could say another word, all four of them were standing in an entirely new place, just outside a hotel. Alexis had the feeling they were just outside of Detroit. The four of them get a room. Alexis got an odd look from the receptionist. It must have looked weird, three men and one girl getting a room together. Once in the room, Gabriel says he's going to locate Lucifer and disappears. Sam asks for a minute alone with Alexis, so Cas leaves the room, mumbling something about checking out the pool.

"So this is it." Sam says.

"I uh, I guess so."

"We've waited so long for this to be over and now it will be."

"I know. It feels surreal. But I really feel like this will work." Alexis responds.

Frankly, she was a bit scared. She was allowing the devil himself to possess her.

Sam must have picked up on it because he steps closer to her, taking her hand in his, and says, "It will. Lucifer, yeah, he's damn scary, but you can do this. You did it when Lilith possessed you, you can do it now. And then, well then we can go get a ring."

She gives him a small smile and says, "Yeah, you're right. I love you."

"I love you too." Sam says, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

A minute later, Gabe appears and Cas walks back in. Gabriel gives them a location and says they should get going. With another hug and kiss from Sam, Alexis and the two angels leave.

* * *

As she walks down the street towards Lucifer, she tries to calm herself down. _You can do this. You can do this. You've done it with Lilith and you can do it now. Just stay calm. _With a deep breath, she stops outside the building Lucifer was supposedly in. Before her very eyes, her surroundings change and she's standing inside the building and in front of Lucifer. She'd never seen him before, other than in the future when he was in Sam, and it wasn't exactly what she expected. The guy he was in now was quite literally falling apart.

"Alexis Harvelle. It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard so much about you." Lucifer says, stepping closer to her. "I must say, I didn't expect you though. Rather foolish of you to come alone. Unless you want something."

"I do." she manages to say. There was just some sort of aura that he gave off. It made her want to run but it also made her want to punch him in the face.

"And what would that be?"

"I want you to take me. Not Sam. Take me and do whatever it is you plan to do, tell those dicks in Heaven to shove it. I would request to kill Zachariah, but that's already done. Though I wouldn't mind seeing Michael bite it either. Just take me, leave Sam be. Dean too. Heaven has Adam and you can have me. And from the looks of it, you could use a new vessel. So please, just take me" Alexis pleads convincingly. A lot of what she was saying was true, so it wasn't hard.

"You're saying you would say yes?" Lucifer asks.

Alexis nods.

"The things people will do for Sam Winchester. What is it about him?" Lucifer ponders out loud. "Now, does anyone know you are here?"

"No. Never would have gotten here if they did." she responds.

"Perfect. Let's do this."

She wasn't sure what she expected, but what happened wasn't it. There was this surge of power through her and she could feel it in her bones. She could also feel the grace in her reacting to the new presence, and apparently Lucifer did too, because he was shouting inside her head about it, sounding agonized. Seeing her chance, she takes it. Using all the energy she could muster, she fights for control and gains it long enough to pull out the rings, despite the brutal shouting from Lucifer rattling around in her head. With shaking hands, she opens the cage. As Gabriel's name escapes her lips, she jumps into the hole, plummeting until she forgot she was even falling. The next thing she remembers is heat, burning hot fire, and screaming.

* * *

**-Sam-centric POV-**

It had been an hour. But every minute in that hour felt like an hour of it's own. It was excruciating. Sam found himself pacing the room, back and forth, back and forth, trying to tell himself everything was going to be okay. Gabriel and Cas would return with Alexis and then it was over. Lucifer would be back in the cage, the apocalypse would be averted, the end. By the end of the first hour, Sam was nearly pulling his hair out. He'd turned his phone off after Dean had called three times. He'd then turned Alexis' off too after Dean had tried her a few times also. By the time another hour passed, Sam was beyond anxious. He almost couldn't stand it. _Where are they? What if it didn't work? What if I don't see her ever again? _With questions like that he was truly freaking himself out.

A total of 150 minutes had passed (he counted) before Castiel and Gabriel walk through the hotel room door, Alexis in Gabriel's arms and some blood on both angels.

"What the hell happened?" Sam asks, running over to them. Alexis wasn't moving, she didn't even look like she was breathing.

"She'll be fine. But after she jumped, Michael showed up in a random vessel. We had to kill him." Castiel says.

"Wh-what? How?" Sam questions, his eyes darting between the two angels and Alexis.

"We don't know, but he tried to stop us from getting her back, said he'd go and get Lucifer back and they'd have their fight. Michael killed me but somehow I appeared again minutes later, fully functioning. He was about to kill Gabriel, but I said, 'Hey, assbutt.' and tossed the knife Alexis had given me at him, impaling him in the chest. Then Gabriel killed him. With that distraction, Alexis was down there for maybe twenty minutes up here, but that's longer down there. There's no telling what she'll remember, but I can erase it if need be." Castiel explains.

"You died?" Sam asks.

"Yes. But now I'm an angel again." Cas says.

"Okay, we should get out of here." Gabriel says, still holding Alexis.

"Chicago. Could one of you get her car though?" Sam asks.

Castiel nods and disappears and seconds after that, Gabriel, with Alexis in his arms, and Sam were standing in the foyer of Alexis' apartment.

"Sam?" Gabriel asks.

The two of them had never really talked. Alexis was really the only one who seemed to actively hold conversations with the guy and has seen him well, not be a dick.

Sam looks to the angel with a questioning look.

"She'll be okay. So will you and so will your brother. It's over." Gabe says.

Sam nods and says, "Here, I'll take her. Cas should be here-"

The sound of wings cuts him off and Castiel appears. Gabe hands Alexis over to Sam and then disappears.

"Cas? Can you wipe her memory of Hell? I don't want her to remember it, not for a minute." Sam asks.

"That should be up to her." the angel responds.

"Please?"

"As you wish." Castiel says, extending his hand and bringing it to Alexis' forehead.

"She should have no recollection past jumping in. I'll let Dean know you two are here."

"Thanks, Cas."

The angel nods and disappears, leaving Sam with a still unconscious Alexis in his arms. He walks into the bedroom and places her on the bed, lying down next to her and waiting for her to wake up.

* * *

Having fallen asleep, he was woken up by a quite "Sam?"

When he hears her voice, he's immediately sitting up. "Lex."

"Happy birthday." she says.

Sam pauses for a minute and then glances at her clock, which had the date on it, and finds that it indeed was May 2nd, 2010. It was his 27th birthday.

"I didn't even realize." he responds.

"Me either."

"Do you feel okay?" he questions, shifting his focus back to her.

"Fine. I don't remember anything past the excruciatingly hot fire."

His face scrunches up in concern so she says, "It was only like a minute. Did they like wipe my memory of it or something?"

Sam just nods. He wishes she didn't have to remember any of it, to have to have been possessed by Lucifer in the first place even. The girl had now been possessed by Lilith and Lucifer.

Alexis nods in response. "It's over. I can't believe it's actually over."

"Yeah, about that. Apparently Michael showed up, killed Cas, and Cas came back, a full angel again, and then he and Gabe killed Michael. It's completely over."

Her mouth drops open in shock as she asks, "Seriously?"

Sam nods again.

"Damn."

She then mumbles something about changing and heads into her closet. When she walks back out, she's wearing a pair of dark washed jean shorts and a dark grey V-neck, the silver necklace he'd given her hanging around her neck. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that they were now engaged or the fact that they both had a huge weight lifted off of their shoulders, but she looked different, almost happier.

"We need to go ring shopping." Sam states.

"Let's go then. I'd say we've got at least a few hours before being interrogated and yelled at by Dean." she responds, giving him a small smile.

Sam laughs lightly and stands up, extending his hand to her. She takes it and the two of them walk out of the apartment hand in hand. After an hour, they settle on a ring and Sam insists on proposing to her with it. From the ring store, the two head to Millenium Park.

With her hand in his, Sam heads her over to the front of the Cloud Gate, the Bean. Since it was a Sunday in May, it was crowded, but Sam didn't care. He drops down on one knee and pulls out the ring. Despite having already proposed to her, his heart was racing. Alexis was smiling down at him with, in his opinion, the best smile ever.

Once he pops the box open, he asks, "Alexis Harvelle, will you marry me?"

By now, the people around them had stopped to stare in awe.

"Of course I will, Sam Winchester." she responds with the biggest smile he'd ever seen.

He slides the ring onto her finger and she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a deep kiss. The people around them begin clapping and cheering, causing both of them to smile into the kiss, Alexis even giggles slightly.

He wasn't sure he'd ever heard her giggle, but he loved it. God he'd never been so in love with anyone in his entire life.

After taking a few pictures at the Bean and having someone, who had offered, take their picture in front of it, the two walk back to Alexis' Camaro, hand in hand.

As they reach the car, Alexis says, twirling her ring on her finger, "You know, I think we have this backwards. You're not supposed to give me things on your birthday, I'm supposed to give you something."

"You already did."

She smiles at him and says, "Let's go home."

_Home._

* * *

_A/N: The end of this chapter makes me smile like an idiot. I was literally sitting at my computer typing and smiling at the screen. I probably looked really weird. Now you know what I meant by veering off from canon. Up until I began writing this chapter, I had intended for it to be Sam and to have Soulless!Sam (despite how much I hated that storyline) but as I was writing and got to the fight between Alexis and Sam, my hands took me elsewhere. I didn't realize what I was doing until I'd done it. Then I couldn't think of a way to change that and have it be Sam. So I looked ahead at season 6 and made sure this would work, and with a few tweaks, it will. I really hope you guys still liked this chapter and would love to know what you think of it. _


	39. Fearless

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the song Fearless by Taylor Swift. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 39: Fearless**

**-Alexis-centric POV-**

Once they get back to the apartment, Sam goes to take a shower and Alexis finds herself pulling her guitar out. She hadn't played in the longest time. She was just messing around on it for a bit, but by the time Sam walks back out, she was just starting the song Fearless by Taylor Swift.

"_There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained_

_There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car_

_And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there_

_In the middle of the parking lot, yeah oh yeah_

_We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know_

_I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now_

_But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair_

_Absentmindedly makin' me want you_

_And I don't know how it gets better than this_

_You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless_

_And I don't know why but with you I'd dance_

_In a storm in my best dress, fearless_

_So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road_

_In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here_

_In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me_

_In this moment, now capture it, remember it_

_'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this_

_You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless_

_And I don't know why but with you I'd dance_

_In a storm in my best dress, fearless_

_Uh oh_

_Well, you stood there with me in the doorway_

_My hands shake, I'm not usually this way_

_But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave_

_It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'_

_It's fearless_

_'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this_

_You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless_

_And I don't know why but with you I'd dance_

_In a storm in my best dress, fearless_

_'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this_

_You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless_

_And I don't know why but with you I'd dance_

_In a storm in my best dress, fearless"_

"I haven't heard you sing in a while." Sam says as she finishes, walking over and taking a seat next to her.

"That's because I haven't in a while. Have you um, have you checked your phone yet?" Alexis asks, changing the subject. She hadn't even turned hers on yet, not wanting to find messages and missed calls from Dean and Bobby. Potentially Ryan or Jake too, even her sister.

"No. Haven't turned it on, have you?"

She shakes her head.

"Dean's going to explode." Sam states.

"Definitely. Maybe I'll go to the store and get stuff to make a pecan pie. He likes those."

"Want me to go with?"

"Nah, you stay here. Take a nap or something. I'll be back soon." she says, setting the guitar down and walking over to her purse.

Truthfully she felt bad about not realizing that it was Sam's birthday, she didn't have anything for him. He always got her something for her birthday. So she heads out and finds herself first at the Hershey store. She ends up filling a bucket with the big candy machine they had, picking candies she knew he liked. Then she heads to Macy's and buys some t-shirts since he'd been saying he needed more because she was always taking them. From there, she went to Barnes and Noble and bought him a Nook. With that done, she stops at the grocery store and heads back, thankful to find that Sam had actually taken a nap. Alexis quietly sneaks into the bedroom and into her closet. Shutting the doors, she puts the shirts and Nook into a box and wraps it. She would give it to him later.

After that, Alexis walks back into the kitchen and begins making a small cake for Sam's birthday. She figured that since Dean was a huge pie person, Sam probably never had birthday cake, just birthday pie, except for maybe when he was in college. That's how she got herself stuck thinking about Sam and Jess and how they might have spent his birthday together. As much as she tried to stop thinking about it, she couldn't. She really didn't know a lot about Sam's life before she met him, and really he didn't know a ton about her either. He didn't even know about her half sister, Elizabeth, and she didn't plan on telling him. She'd given up on finding Elizabeth when she and Jo nearly died, figuring that since Liz got out, she was better left out. Besides, a phone works both ways. Liz could've called her if she wanted to.

Not wanting to think about Sam and Jess or Liz any longer, she turns on music and finds herself singing along while baking. Once the cake was in the oven, she puts together a pie. When the cake comes out, she transfers it to a cooling rack and puts the pie in, then makes frosting from scratch. She'd hoped to finish the cake before Sam woke up. She'd made it a small two layer circular cake and made it rainbow. That was another thing Zac had taught her, how to make a rainbow cake. It wasn't exactly a skill a hunter would ever need to know, but she liked it. She was just putting the finishing touches on the cake as Sam walks out of the bedroom. She'd decorated it in black frosting, knowing it would look awesome when it was cut into, and simply written Sam on it in neon green icing.

"You made me a cake?" Sam asks, sounding truly surprised.

"I did." she replies, smiling at him. Then the timer for the pie goes off and she pulls it out of the oven.

"You made black frosting?" he questions, raising an eyebrow.

"You'll see why." she responds, her back to him as she places the pie on the counter.

"I got you something too. Stay here." Alexis adds, walking towards her closet and walking back out with the bucket of candy and wrapped box in her hands.

"Lex, you didn't have to get me anything." Sam states.

"Yes I did." She then takes his hand and pulls him over to the couch, dragging him down to a seated position next to her before handing him the box and bucket. "Open it."

He rips open the wrapping, as if he'd just turned seven and not twenty-seven. "Shirts, some of which I'm expecting you'll steal and candy, which you'll probably also steal some of." he says with an amused smile.

"You're not wrong. Now look under the shirts."

"Someone's bossy today." he replies, smirking at her. He then pulls out the Nook and kind of just stares at her. "Lex, you really didn't have to do this."

"Yes I did. Now come on, let's eat some cake before Dean gets here. He is truly going to explode."

She walks over to the counter, Sam trailing behind her. When she cuts into it, she watches Sam's mouth fall open. "How did you do that?" he asks, not bothering to mask his shock.

"Magic." she replies, handing him a piece.

The two of them sit at the counter, each eating a piece of cake.

* * *

They end up watching a movie after and just as the credits began to play, the buzzer to the apartment rings.

The couple looks at each other and simultaneously state, "Dean."

"Here we go." Alexis stays, standing up to buzz him up.

A few minutes later Dean is at the door. When she opens it, he walks straight into the living room, turning on them once all three of them were standing there.

"You two wanna tell me what the hell you've been doing? And why the hell neither of you could bother to pick up a phone? Answer a damn text? You left a note saying you went out and would be back soon! Then, after hours, Cas says you two are here! What the hell?" Dean fumes.

He was mad. He was very mad, and she knew it was only going to get worse.

"Maybe we should all sit down." Sam suggests.

"Oh hell no. Tell me what is going on. Now." Dean says.

She and Sam share a look. With a deep breath she says, "It's done. Michael is dead, Lucifer is back in the cage."

"Come again?" Dean asks, his jaw clenched.

"It's over Dean." Sam says.

"Over? And how exactly is it over?" the oldest Winchester asks.

She could tell he was seconds away from exploding by the way his tone was eerily calm. It was the calm before the storm with him.

"Dean, please just sit. It's a long story." Alexis says.

Dean glares at them and then walks over to the chair kitty-corner to the couch, where both she and Sam take seats.

"I'm sitting. Explain. Now."

"Well um, do you remember when you asked me what I said to Sam the other day? After he told me his plan?" she begins hesitantly. She knew he was just going to explode. She was just trying to minimize the explosion range.

"Yeah…"

"Well um, we talked about things and then uh-" Alexis continues but gets cut off.

"Get to the point, Alexis."

_Full name. Yikes. _"We talked and resolved that he wasn't going to do it. I thought it could work if I did it-"

Dean cuts her off again, "Are you kidding me? Why the hell wouldn't you tell me that?"

"Would you let me finish?" she says, sounding a bitterer than she had intended.

Dean just narrows his eyes at her in response.

Sam was sitting next to her in silence, glancing between them both.

"Well, we did get into a fight. I was mad that he had been thinking about it and I was the last to find out, that he could be dead soon and would be leaving me, breaking his promise. It got to where we were just shouting at each other. That's when I kinda let it slip about my plan and that Gabriel could help." she continues but pauses, knowing Dean would have something to say about Gabriel.

"Gabriel? He's dead." Dean says.

"That's what I said." Sam interjects.

"He's not. That's why Sam got mad. I'd lied to him about Gabe more than once. So, still yelling, I said it wasn't like he hadn't lied to me before. Back um, back when you tried to say yes to Michael, Sam had told me after the apocalypse stuff was over, he'd propose. I threw that back at him, saying he'd lied about that since with him saying yes, he'd be gone." She pauses again, trying to figure out how to continue. She wasn't wearing her ring. She'd taken it off for baking and looped it onto her necklace, so currently Dean couldn't see it.

"Keep going." Dean says.

"Well, he said he never lied about that, ended up asking me to marry him. I thought he was crazy at first but after he said it like three times I said yes. So we made up in uh, more ways than one, and came back."

"Wait a minute, so you two are engaged?" Dean says, stopping her once again. His face had lightened up a bit though.

Alexis pulls the necklace off of her neck and slips the ring off, sliding it back onto her finger. "We are."'

"It's about damn time." Dean states, now actually smiling a bit. "Alright, now keep going."

"Well then when I talked to Death alone, he made me promise to do whatever it takes too and then told me my plan would work. So the next morning, I told Sam and Sam made me call Gabe. He wasn't going to let me do it unless Gabe was sure he could get me back. Gabriel said he could and then we called for Cas and worked out a plan. They knew Lucifer was in Detroit so we went there and went through with the plan. It worked. I said yes, fought for control, and jumped in. I guess Michael showed up and tried to kill Gabe and Cas, he did kill Cas, but then Cas reappeared and helped Gabe kill Michael. And like that, the apocalypse was averted." Alexis finishes.

Dean's mouth was now hanging open. "So to recap: You two are engaged, Michael is dead, and Lucifer is back in his cage."

"Yeah." Sam and Alexis reply together.

"Okay. Why was I left out of this?"

"No one was supposed to know Gabe was alive so I figured it was better that just Sam knew. And then from when we called him we went straight to Detroit." she says.

Dean just shakes his head.

"What?" Sam questions.

"Nothing. I want to be pissed at you, but I can't. You did stop it. And you're engaged. But if you ever do something like that again, I will kill you. Both of you. Now, I am happy for you both." Dean says.

"Thanks. Now, I made pie and cake. I'll get you some cake. We ate all the pie." Alexis says.

"You did not."

"We did, sorry." Sam adds, an amused smile on his face.

Dean was staring at them in betrayal.

"We're kidding. There's a full pecan pie with your name on it." Alexis says, standing up and walking over to the counter to cut him a piece.

As she hands Dean his piece he asks, "So when are you two going to get married?"

"We didn't really talk about it." Sam says, walking over to stand next to her.

"Who even knows?"

"You." the couple responds.

"Just me?" Dean questions.

"Yep." Alexis says.

As Dean sits and eats his pie he asks, "So uh, what now?"

Alexis and Sam share a glance, they hadn't exactly talked about that either.

"We um, we're thinking of being done." Sam says hesitantly.

"Done? You mean done with hunting?"

"We haven't really talked about it." Alexis says.

"Alright, I'm going to go to a bar. Give you two some time to talk. Because you both should figure out what it is you want to do."

With that, Dean takes the last bite of his pie, grabs his jacket, and is out the door.

* * *

As soon as the door shuts, Sam turns to face Alexis. "So um, what do you wanna do?"

"Honestly? I don't really know if I know. I mean I don't think I can give up hunting entirely, I just don't. Even if we both wanted to, I don't see it being possible. So maybe live here? Hunt on weekends? Hunt occasionally on hunts in bordering states?"

"Why don't we sit down." Sam says. He then walks over to the couch and takes a sit. Alexis does the same.

"Alright, I think we just have to talk everything out. I mean everything. We could do this, get married and just keep hunting. Or we could stop. Get married, have kids… Be done and out." Sam begins.

She doesn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. _I don't know what I want. This is happy, right? I should be happy. _

"Lex?"

"I think um, I think I've forgotten how to be happy." she admits, knowing it sounded ridiculous but it was true nonetheless. She couldn't remember the last time she had nothing to worry about and now the biggest question for her was when to marry Sam.

He chuckles and says, "I know what you mean. This feels off. But it's real and it's right, we just need to figure out where we want to go from here."

"I know. Why don't we stay here for a while, pick a date for the wedding and tell everyone who needs to be told. Then, after that, we go from there." she suggests.

"I think that sounds good. We're going small, right? Because between the two of us, I don't think there are more than twenty people to be invited."

"Yeah, small. I mean we've got Dean, my mom, Jo, Bobby, Arizona, Ellie, Alyssa, Luke, Ryan, Jake, maybe Missouri, Castiel, Gabe if he'll come, and uh… that's all I got- Oh wait, Chuck too I guess." she says, trying to name people off the top of her head.

"14. Yeah, I think that's about it. So hunters, a kid, a psychic, two angels, and a prophet." Sam states.

Alexis laughs, realizing how crazy it sounded. "Well when you put it like that we sound insane."

"If it didn't sound insane it wouldn't be our lives." he replies.

"True, very true. Alright, now we need a date."

"Date. Uh, this summer? Do you want to do it soon?"

"Mid-June maybe?"

"Mid-June sounds perfect." Sam responds with a smile on his face.

Alexis adjusts herself and leans her head on Sam's shoulder.

He wraps an arm around her and pulls her closer to him.

"We're actually getting married." Alexis states, some disbelief in her voice.

"I know."

The two sit in silence for a few more minutes before Sam says something. "Lex, when I mentioned kids earlier, you didn't say anything. I think that is something we really do need to talk about."

"Sam…" Alexis trails off, not sure what she should say.

"Look, I want kids, I do, but not more than I want to be with you. So if you don't want kids, we won't have any, okay? I just want to know where you stand on the subject." Sam says, angling himself so that he could look at her.

"I don't know. Other than being with you, I don't really know what I want at all. But you do want kids?" she asks.

"Okay, okay. And yeah, I think I do. After you said you started picturing it, I started picturing it more. And then I got to thinking how great it would be to someday have a daughter who looked just like you, a son running around. Even started picturing Dean as an uncle, your sister as an aunt. I mean I know Dean has never claimed to be a kid person, but I know if we had kids, they'd have the best uncle and aunt on the planet. I think your mom would make a pretty good grandmother too."

"I didn't even think of that." Alexis says. She then chuckles and adds, "I could see Dean as an uncle. He'd probably grumble about it at first but then those kids would have him wrapped around their finger. And Jo, she'd melt. I know she would, my mom too. They may be hunters and seem tough, but kids have a way of breaking that down effortlessly. I mean just look at the effect Ellie has had on everyone."

Sam chuckles slightly too and says, "Yeah. One thing is for sure, if we had kids, they'd be the most protected kids on the planet. Hunters are willing to fight for and die for their family, and our kids would have a family of hunters. Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Dean, Arizona, me, and you."

"Someday."

"What?" he asks, giving her a slightly confused look.

"I think I want kids, with you, someday."

Sam smiles at her and says, "Someday is good."

_Someday._

* * *

_A/N: Super short chapter, sorry guys! I just wanted to put up something and this is all I had, I'm not all that proud of it. I couldn't even come up with a good title. This is going to be a pretty lengthy author's note because I've got some stuff to say. When it comes to this story, I'm stumped. I know where I want to go but I'm just having trouble getting there, so updates are going to be a bit rare for a bit. _

_As a lot of you may know, I write one shots on my tumblr, and I got inspiration for one and the idea stuck with me. I couldn't get it out of my head, so right now I'm toying with the idea of making another fic. My fear with that is that this story will become abandoned, and I do not want that. This story is my baby, it's the first thing I've ever written outside of things for school, and I love it with all my heart. I'm just really stuck. I'm not sure what I want to do. I probably will publish another fic and have two going at once, which will mean updates will be a bit less frequent. _

_If you want to hear about the second fic, feel free to PM me or message me over on tumblr (link on my profile.) If you have questions or concerns, let me know also. I promise you though that no matter how long I go without updating this story, I have not abandoned it. My goal right now is to not go more than two weeks without a new chapter, so we'll see how that goes. _

_Anyway, I've rambled on enough. I hope you did enjoy the chapter, though it was small, and I am glad that there are a number of you that have stuck with this story. I can't thank you enough for that._


	40. All I See

_A/N: This chapter contains the wedding. If you want to see some of what I envisioned for this, like the dress, the ring, the venue, you can go to hahwedding. _

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis, Arizona, Ellie, and Alyssa.**

* * *

**Chapter 40: All I See**

"June 23rd." Alexis states.

"June 23rd." Sam repeats.

"In 5 weeks we will be married."

"I know. In five weeks I will get to call you my wife."

"I don't think I'm ever going to get tired of hearing that." Alexis says, resting her head on Sam's shoulder. They were both sitting on the couch in the living room. Dean had gone to meet Bobby for a hunt, leaving them alone.

"What about a honeymoon? Are we gonna do that?" she asks, thinking out loud. It was weird talking about this with Sam. She wasn't used to having such well, normal things to plan out. For the past year or more, it had all been about the apocalypse or angels and demons.

"Do you want to?" Sam replies.

"Do you?"

"I asked you first."

"Yeah, I think so." she says.

"Well so do I. Where though?"

"I don't know."

Eventually they settle on Hawaii.

* * *

Two weeks before the wedding Arizona, Ellie, Ellen, Jo, and Bobby all head up to Chicago. Apparently Bobby had an old friend who owned a place near the city and was letting him use it, so that's where Ellen, Jo, and Bobby stayed while Arizona and Ellie stayed in the apartment with Sam, Dean, and Alexis. The second day everyone was there, Jo and Arizona drag Alexis out to go dress shopping.

"Guys, we don't need to do this." Alexis says as they walk into a dress shop.

"Too bad." Jo responds.

When Alexis had told Jo she was engaged, Jo nearly tackled her to the ground she was so happy. Then when Alexis asked her to be her maid of honor, she thought Jo might actually die on the spot. For a girl who was almost the exact opposite of girly Jo sure was excited about the wedding.

"I just want something simple." Alexis says as her eyes scan the displays of extravagant dresses.

"We need dresses too. Just look around and try to stop complaining, would you? _You_ are the one getting married." Jo says, rolling her eyes at her sister.

Eventually dresses are decided on. Jo and Arizona get matching black lace dresses for the bridesmaid dresses and Alexis settles on a simple sleeveless white dress. It fell just above her knees and had an embroidered design around the waist. Arizona had gotten a flower girl dress for Ellie too.

The next day Alexis finally decides to do something she'd been thinking about since the wedding was set. She needed someone to walk her down the aisle and she knew who she wanted to ask, she just hadn't done it yet.

"Mom? Jo? Bobby?" Alexis calls out, walking into the house Bobby, her sister, and her mother had been staying in.

Seconds later Ellen is rounding the corner and walking over to Alexis. "What are you doing here? I thought we were all meeting for dinner later."

"We are. I just had something I wanted to run by you." Alexis says.

"What is it?" Ellen asks, tilting her head slightly.

"Well um, I need someone to walk me down the aisle and I was uh, going to ask Bobby, but I wanted to make sure that would be okay with you. I know it was supposed to be dad but-" Alexis begins, very quickly starting to ramble.

Her mother cuts her off and says, "Oh honey, you don't have to ask me. Your father would have loved to give you away, you know that, but he isn't here. He hasn't been for almost twenty years."

"I know, I just wanted to check with you first. And mom, it has been that long. You know you could find someone. It wouldn't bother me or Jo. You deserve to be happy too, Mom."

"Lexi…"

"I know. I'm just saying. It's pretty clear there is something between you and Bobby-"

"Alexis!" Ellen exclaims, cutting her daughter off.

"What? I'm just saying." Alexis responds, unable to hide the smile making it's way to her face. She'd spotted the smallest blush on her mother's face.

"I hear you. Now go talk to Bobby."

"I will. I'm glad we're in this place, you know, like this. Not fighting all the time."

"So am I. Honestly with you and your sister both wanting to hunt so badly I wasn't sure either of you would get married. And now here we are. My baby girl is getting married, to a Winchester no less. Never thought_ that_ would happen." Ellen says.

"Me either. But hey, stranger things have happened." Alexis replies with a smile.

She then walks off to find Bobby. He was sitting in one of the back rooms with a book in his hand. "Bobby?"

He looks up and when he spots Alexis he sets his book down. "Lex. What're you doing here?"

"I actually had something I wanted to ask you."

"And you couldn't use a phone?" he replies, a small smile on his face.

"I wanted to ask you in person."

"Okay…"

"I was wondering if maybe um… you'd like to walk me down the aisle." Alexis asks quietly.

"Lex… you're sure?" Bobby asks, now standing up.

"Unless you don't want-" she begins only to have the older hunter cut her off.

"I would love to."

"Thank you." Alexis replies, moving to hug the older hunter.

He stiffens at first, not one for hugging, but then relaxes and wraps his arms around her. "Of course, kiddo."

* * *

Five days before the wedding Jo stumbles on a hunt and asks Alexis if she'd like to join. They hadn't gone on a hunt by themselves in a while and Jo figured after the wedding there might never be time for one again. Alexis jumps at the chance and after persuading and pestering both Sam and Dean, she and Jo are off. It was a simple spirit hunt. They finished it without a single problem and were back the day before the wedding.

All plans for the wedding were set. They'd booked a place called Berger Park for the actual wedding. It was almost a straight shot up Lake Shore Drive and only about eight miles from the apartment. Then, not wanting to really involve a church, they asked Missouri if she would like to get ordained online and be the one to marry them. She happily agreed. Seeing as there weren't a lot of guests, the house Bobby's friend had was perfect for the after party, even had a nice yard for a stereo system to be set up along with a makeshift dance floor. They had ordered a cake and Arizona offered to cook for everyone. After that, Sam and Alexis would catch a plane to Hawaii and stay there for a few days.

Alexis was thankful she'd set away almost all the money Zac had left her, which was quite a lot. His family was rather wealthy, both of his parents had come from money and each of them were successful themselves. He'd left Alexis a couple million dollars. Being a hunter, she didn't have much use for it, so it sat untouched in a bank account. Until now, that is. The only other time she'd accessed the money was when rebuilding the roadhouse.

The night before the wedding Sam, Dean, Alexis, Jo, Ellen, and Bobby had all gone out to dinner. As they walk in the door, Dean announces he was going to bed despite it only being around ten. Alexis and Sam decide to do the same.

Once they were both lying in bed Sam says, "So."

"So." Alexis replies.

"We're actually getting married tomorrow." he says.

Alexis flips over so that she's facing him and says, "I know. I can't believe it."

"I'll get to call you my wife."

"And I'll get to call you my husband." Alexis replies.

"I like the sound of that."

"Mrs. and Mr. Winchester." Alexis states.

"I like the sound of that even more."

Around three am Alexis rolls out of bed, unable to sleep, and heads out to the terrace. Sometime later she hears the door slide open and Sam walks over to her.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks.

"Thinking."

"About?"

"Stuff." she replies, not having made eye contact with Sam yet. She was still looking off towards the sky and city lights.

"Like what?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters. If it's got you up and out here at three in the morning, it matters." Sam says, deciding he wasn't going to let it go.

She shakes her head and says, "Just go back to bed, Sam."

"No. Talk to me, Lex, what's wrong?" Sam insists, taking hold of one of her hands and spinning her to face him.

"What if this is a mistake?" she asks, her voice wavering slightly.

Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. Her words pierced through him and he almost had to ask her to repeat them. "What do you mean?"

"I just... what if this isn't a good idea, Sam?" Alexis says. It was starting to get to her. _What are we doing? How could we think this would work out? Nothing ever works out, not in my life. _

"You don't want to marry me?" Sam asks hesitantly, trying to keep his voice steady.

"No… I do… I just…"

"You just what then?"

"I don't know, Sam. Just… what if by doing this we make things worse? Put even bigger targets on our backs?" she says, having turned back away from him. She wanted to marry Sam, she did, but she just couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong, that something was going to come after them again.

Sam lets out a sigh and steps closer to her, bringing one hand to her chin and gently turning her gaze back to him. "Hey, that's not possible. Being married to you is not going to make me love you anymore than I already do. It won't make you a bigger weakness to me either. Whether we are married or not, if people, demons, angels, anything wants to come after us, they will. But right now, right now everything is actually good for once. We have the opportunity to be out, be happy, we just need to take it." he says, his eyes searching hers for any indication as to what she was thinking.

"I'm just… scared." Alexis admits quietly.

Sam gently brings his hand to her cheek, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "If you don't want to do this, Lex, we don't have to."

She brings her hand to his, holding it against her cheek, and says, "No, I do… I just don't know what we do after. I don't know how to do this, Sam. I've never lived a life anywhere near normal. You did, for a few years, but I never did. I don't know how to do normal."

He hadn't thought of that, of how life would be for them, more so her, after they were married, not really. "We'll figure it out, alright? Just come back to bed, get some sleep, and we can talk when we're in Hawaii." he says, giving her a small smile at the mention of Hawaii.

Alexis closes her eyes for a second and nods before taking Sam's hand and following him back inside.

* * *

The next morning is a blur. Alexis vaguely registers Jo waking her up, barely giving her time to shower and change, and then ushering her out the door. Jo insisted she and Sam should be a part until the wedding. She'd tried to get Alexis to sleep at the house she was staying in but Alexis wouldn't go for it. Who knew Jo was so big on weddings anyway?

"Jo, it's 8:30 in the morning. You can slow down." Alexis says as Jo speeds off towards the venue.

Jo just continues to drive, eyes focused on the road.

Alexis sighs and looks out the window, taking in the view off of Lake Shore Drive.

A half an hour later, just after nine, they're pulling into Berger Park. The wedding wasn't for five more hours but Jo insisted they get there then. Jo also insisted on doing Alexis' makeup and hair.

Alexis just went with it, letting her sister have her fun. Besides, if Jo ever got married, Alexis would be able to return the favor.

An hour and a half later Ellen, Arizona, and Ellie, show up. The three of them set up a few decorations and then Ellen heads to get them all some lunch.

By 1:10 everything was ready and everyone was dressed except for Alexis. All she had to do was put her dress and jewelry on. Just as she'd gotten her dress on there's a knock on the door.

"Lex? Can I come in?" Ellen says from the other side of the door.

"Yeah." Alexis responds, smoothing out the skirt of her dress in the mirror. She almost didn't recognize herself. She rarely ever wore dresses, she definitely never did her hair up, and she didn't usually wear much make up either. Yet there she was with all of the above on or done.

As the door opens, Alexis hears a sharp intake of breath and spins around. Her mother was standing there, her mouth open, and wrinkles of surprise evident on her forehead.

"Alexis, you look gorgeous." Ellen gushes, walking further into the room and over to her daughter.

Alexis smiles and says, "Thanks, mom."

"You look so much like your father."

"You think so?"

"I know so." Ellen replies. "I have something for you, if you want it." she adds, pulling a slender box out of her purse.

"What is it?" Alexis asks, her head tilted slightly out of curiosity.

Ellen opens the box, revealing a silver chain bracelet that knots in the middle. "Your father gave this to me on our wedding day. I figured you could wear it, you know, something old and something borrowed."

"Mom… you're sure?" Alexis asks. She'd only seen that bracelet a few times before, mostly when she was younger. She'd almost forgotten about it.

"I'm sure."

"I love it. Thank you."

Ellen nods and gingerly lifts it out of the box. She then fastens it onto Alexis' wrist. "Almost everyone is here. You ready?"

"I'm as ready as I'm going to be. Are Sam and Dean here yet?" Alexis asks.

"They're on their way. Jo just talked to, well more yelled at, Dean." Ellen says, earning a smile from Alexis.

"I never knew Jo liked weddings so much."

"Neither did I." Ellen responds with a chuckle. "I should probably go make sure she doesn't kill anyone for doing something wrong. I'll send her and Arizona back soon."

Alexis nods and watches as her mother walks away. Just as Ellen rounds the corner and disappears from sight, Alexis' phone rings.

"Sam?" she answers.

"Hey."

"Hi." Alexis says. "Why are you calling? Dean didn't get you lost, did he?"

Sam chuckles and Alexis hears Dean shout something at her on the other end.

"No. Just wanted to hear your voice before we got there. I know if I try to go anywhere near you there Jo will kill me." he responds.

Alexis lets out a small laugh and says, "Yeah, you're probably right. She nearly pulled my arm off getting me out of the apartment this morning."

"I know. I hardly saw you."

"That was her intention."

"Well after this, you're all mine for the whole week. No sisters to tug you out of bed in the morning." Sam replies.

"You promise?" Alexis says, smiling to herself. Almost all of the nerves and doubts she had last night had faded away. She was genuinely happy and excited about marrying Sam.

"Yeah, I promise. I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, see you soon."

* * *

**-In the Impala with Sam and Dean- **

"I can't believe you two are getting married." Dean says after Sam hangs up.

"Me either. It almost doesn't feel real." Sam replies.

"You ready?"

"Y-yeah."

"You hesitated. What's up?" Dean asks.

"Nothing. Just last night Lex said something about how this could make it worse. Put bigger targets on our backs. She said she was scared, Dean, and she has never ever admitted to being scared to me. Not once."

"Sam, of course she's scared. Things never seem to go her way, ever. The girl seems to have even worse luck than us. Then when you take into account the guys she's been with… like Kyle, well, how can she not be scared?" Dean says.

The mention of Kyle sends a wave of anger through Sam. Every time he heard that name he wanted to punch something. "Dammit, why didn't I think of that?

"She's there, okay? You two are going to get married and everything is going to be fine." Dean assures him.

Sam just nods and turns to look out the window.

* * *

**-Back at Berger Park-**

Around twenty to two, twenty minutes before the wedding was supposed to start, Ellen, Arizona, Jo, Alyssa and Ellie walk into the room Alexis was in. Arizona and Jo were the bridesmaids, Ellie was the flower girl, and Alyssa had offered to be the photographer.

"I got a few of Sam and Dean. Thought I'd get a few of you three too." Alyssa says, pointing to each Harvelle.

The three of them move to stand in front of the back wall, Alexis in the middle, Jo on her left and Ellen on her right. Alyssa snaps a few of them, a couple of just Alexis and Ellen, a couple of Alexis and Jo, a few of just Alexis, some of Arizona and Jo, some of Arizona, Jo, and Alexis, and some of Alexis and Ellie.

"Alright. Everyone is here. You ready?" Jo says.

"As ready as I'm ever going to be." Alexis replies.

The procession begins shortly thereafter, leaving Alexis in the back, just out of sight, with Bobby.

"You ready, kiddo?"

"Everyone keeps asking me that." Alexis replies.

Bobby just smiles and says, "You look beautiful, Lex."

She smiles back and replies, "Thanks Bobby. You clean up pretty good yourself."

Then, after what feels like seconds, the bridal chorus begins to play. Bobby holds out his arm and Alexis loops hers in his. They round the corner of the building and head out the doorway, as the wedding was outside, and Alexis immediately spots Sam. They lock eyes almost instantaneously and Alexis couldn't wait to just get up there and be married.

Sam was in no way prepared to see Alexis walk down the aisle. As soon as he sees her, his breath catches in his throat. She looked absolutely stunning. He was absolutely certain she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. He was also certain that the walk down the aisle was painstakingly slow. By the time she's standing in front of him, a few tears had formed in his eyes. He couldn't help it.

Missouri begins reading and they soon arrive at the vows.

"Now these two have decided to put their own spin on the vows. They will each read what they've written and then the traditional vows." Missouri states.

Alexis was up first. "Okay, as you all know, I'm not one for tradition, so, I didn't necessarily write vows, more a story." she begins, pausing to take a breath. She was suddenly extremely nervous with all eyes on her. "Well, as you also all know, this is in no way a traditional wedding. I mean, a physic is marrying us, there are two angels among the guests, and everything I'm about to say actually makes sense."

Alexis pauses again as everyone chuckles a bit. She takes another breath before continuing. "I was 21 when Sam and I started dating. I'd nearly just died in a fire. Sounds bad, but turns out that was one of the better things to happen in the time we've been together. In the past three years I have died four times and Sam has died three times. We've both been to Heaven, Hell, and back. We've stuck together through angels, demons, and the apocalypse. We actually got engaged with the end of the world looming over our heads. But somehow we are standing here today ready to get married. And looking at Sam, I know I'd do it all again if it meant I got to spend the rest of my life with him."

Sam hadn't heard her speech until then. He was not prepared for what she had to say. The last part was what really hit him because he knew just how much she'd struggled the past three years, how close she was to just giving up, and yet she said she'd do it again for him. He had to take a moment before he could speak. "When I first met Alexis, well for real, I knew I was screwed. There was something about her that pulled me in right away. I was hooked from day one and I knew there was no way out of it. But with my track record, I kept my mouth shut, figuring she'd only end up dead. That is until she nearly died anyway. That was when I realized I couldn't live without her, or at least I didn't want to. Since then, we've had some serious obstacles thrown our way. Death, demons, angels, and the apocalypse to name a few." Sam begins, pausing there to take a deep breath.

"We've even had a cupid, an actual cupid, tell us we were a 'controversial pairing'. Holy Hell, quite literally. As most of you know, I have demon blood in me. Alexis has some of an angel's grace, hence the Holy Hell. And yet, after all of that, we ended up back with each other no matter how many things tried to tear us apart. That's why, standing here today, looking at Alexis, I wouldn't have it any other way. Because when I look at her, I see a future that in the past I had written off. She brought hope and light back into my life when I thought it wasn't possible. But that's Alexis. Give her something impossible and she makes it possible."

By the time Sam had finished, Alexis' eyes were glossy with unshed tears. They had decided weeks ago to not hear what the other wrote until the wedding day. One thing was for sure, if she had any tiny shred of a doubt in her mind about this, it was gone now. She didn't want to spend another minute not being married to Sam.

Now it was time for the traditional vows.

Alexis takes hold of Sam's hands and begins to speak, with the guidance of Missouri. "I, Alexis Harvelle, take you, Sam Winchester, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

Missouri then instructs Sam to continue.

"I, Sam Winchester, take you, Alexis Harvelle, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

"Now for the rings." Missouri says, signaling for Ellie.

Ellie was doubling as the ring bearer along with being the flower girl. With the biggest grin on her face she steps forward, bringing the rings up to them. They each take the other's ring, both looking at each other with the utmost anticipation and love.

The rings are then exchanged with Missouri's instruction.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." Missouri says, followed by, "You may now kiss the bride."

Sam steps slightly closer, quickly pulling Alexis in for a deep, long, passionate kiss.

Cheers and clapping erupts from the crowd around them, causing both of them to smile into the kiss. When they break away, they turn to walk hand in hand back down the aisle as Mr. and Mrs. Winchester.

* * *

_A/N: I'm sorry this took so long! I got really stumped with the beginning of this chapter. I hope the wedding is okay. I haven't been to one since I was rather little. I ended it where I did, despite it being a shorter chapter, because I have the Chicago Supernatural convention this weekend and wanted to get something up. If I do not continue to update, just assume I have died due to meeting Jared Padalecki, Mark Sheppard, Misha Collins, and Richard Speight Jr. I__'ll probably have a few more chapters of original content because of the year gap between season 5 and 6. _


	41. In Real Life

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 41: In Real Life**

Immediately after the wedding everyone heads back to the place Bobby was staying at. The after party goes on for a few hours with everyone eating, dancing, and talking. It was very informal, but they were almost all hunters so nobody really cared.

Nothing really hit Alexis though until she and Sam were in the limo, the one they just had to get according to Jo, on their way to O'Hare airport. For being just married, she and Sam hadn't been together much. They were both separated for most of the party, talking to other people and dancing also.

"We're actually married." Alexis states.

"I know. It doesn't quite feel real yet." Sam responds, smiling at her. He was genuinely and blissfully happy for the first time in so long.

"It doesn't. I mean we're on our way to our honeymoon. It honestly feels like a dream. Like it's far too good to be my life." she says. She was smiling too. She hadn't really been able to stop smiling since the wedding.

Sam just nods understandingly and moves over to the seat next to her and wraps an arm around her shoulder.

Alexis rests her head on his shoulder and mumbles quietly, "Mr. and Mrs. Winchester."

"I like the sound of that." Sam responds.

"So do I."

Thirteen hours later they finally land in Kauai, Hawaii. With the four hour time difference it was around five in the morning when the newlyweds got to their hotel and into their room. With all the money Alexis still had from Zac they decided to splurge and stay at the Koa Kea Hotel and Resort and get the honeymoon package.

"This place is gorgeous." Sam states as they walk in.

"I know." Alexis responds, plopping down on the bed, dropping her stuff on the floor.

"We've had a long day and I'm exhausted. You have to be too. We should get some sleep." Sam says as he sets his stuff down.

She nods and heads to the bathroom. She washes her face, brushes out her hair, brushes her teeth, and takes off everything except for her underwear and tank top. It was hot and she didn't feel like changing into something. When she walks back out she finds Sam already in bed, their bags all put up against the far wall. She clicks off the light, closes the shades, and slides into bed, turning to face Sam.

"I can't believe I get to call you my wife now." Sam says, a smile plastered on his face, like it had been for much of the past day.

"And I get to call you my husband." Alexis responds, returning a smile.

"You know, this isn't how most couples spend their wedding night."

"We are nothing like most couples."

"Good point." Sam responds with a chuckle.

After ten minutes, both are asleep.

* * *

They spend the week exploring the area of Hawaii they were in and relaxing on the beach. With the honeymoon package they also got a one hour couples massage. Alexis was also able to talk Sam into doing a zip line tour that was offered. Before they knew it, it was their last day there.

"I can't believe we fly back tomorrow." Alexis says from the bed, talking to Sam through the bathroom door.

"I know, I've been getting used to it just being us, completely uninterrupted." Sam responds.

"Maybe we can just stay here." she muses.

"I think your sister would personally fly out and drag us back."

"Not Dean?"

Sam walks out of the bathroom, having changed into swimming trunks, and says, "Dean doesn't fly, remember?"

Alexis nods and stares at Sam, taking in the beauty before her. It wasn't often that she just observed him physically. She'd gotten past his looks a long, long, time ago. It wasn't what made her love him, not in the slightest. But looking at him, standing there shirtless, with the sun hitting his chest perfectly, the looks were definitely a huge plus.

"What are you staring at?" Sam asks.

"My husband, who happens to be very hot." she responds with a smile.

"Oh really? How hot?" he says, an amused and somewhat mischievous grin making its way to his face as he steps closer.

"Extremely hot."

"Well then, if I'm so hot, you better get changed so we can get to the beach and I can cool down in the water." Sam replies, his face inches from hers.

She playfully hits him and says, "Tease."

Alexis then stand up, grabs her bag, and heads into the bathroom, smiling to herself as the door shuts behind her. This week had been really good for them. They'd gotten closer, physically and emotionally, and she was truly happy.

A couple minutes later she walks back out of the bathroom in a new bikini, one Sam hadn't seen. It had a neon pink bandeau top with slits on the sides and a solid black bottom. Deciding two can play his game, she walks over to the front of the bed, stopping just in front of him, then bends down very slowly, being sure to stick her ass out rather far, and slowly sets her bag down and grabs her sandals. "Let's go."

"Now you're being a tease." Sam says, his eyes scanning her body.

"Don't start something unless you plan to finish it, Sam." Alexis responds, a smirk on her face, as she heads out the door, knowing Sam would follow her.

Sam just shakes his head and follows after her. He would finish it. That was for sure.

* * *

September 23rd. Sam and Alexis had been married for three months already. Within that time they'd settled into married life. Sam had gotten a part-time job at the library and Alexis had gotten one at a new bakery nearby. Having part-time jobs gave the two of them a flexible schedule, allowing them to hunt occasionally when they chose to, and giving them plenty of time for hobbies and simply spending time together. Having date nights, movie nights, simply exploring the city.

Dean had become less active with hunting also. He'd gotten somewhat of a part-time job at an auto-shop near the apartment in Chicago. The shop allowed him to work when he wanted for the most part, not caring much when he didn't show up for two weeks so long as he called, and he enjoyed it. He hunted a couple times a month. When not hunting, he spent his time either down at the roadhouse, at Bobby's, or in Chicago with Sam and Alexis, who had insisted he make one the guest rooms his own.

They all began to live somewhat normal lives. Everything was good for once. Alexis had all but pushed the apocalypse ordeal out of her mind. That is until that night, the night of September 23rd.

Sam had gone on a hunt with Dean, just the two of them, the first one they'd gone on by themselves in a while, and Alexis had stayed back, leaving her alone in the apartment. This night, the fourth night they'd been gone, Alexis wakes up in a cold sweat with only one thing on her mind. _Adam. _

She practically flies out of bed, throws on a sweatshirt, and calls for Gabriel.

The archangel appears within seconds. "Is everything okay?" he asks, glancing around.

"No. I need you to do something." Alexis says, tapping her foot anxiously. She couldn't believe they'd all forgotten about Adam, she couldn't believe she'd forgotten about Adam. She'd promised him that she'd get him back.

"What is it? Are you hurt?" Gabriel asks, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion and concern.

"No. Can you find someone for me? Take me to him? Help me get him back?"

"Who? Where?"

"Adam. Adam Milligan, Sam and Dean's half brother."

Realization floods the archangel's face and he says, "He's in Heaven as far as I know. You want me to bring him back?"

"Can you? Or could you bring me to him? I don't think he exactly trusts angels anymore." she responds.

"If I bring you to him I essentially have to kill you, temporarily that is. I also have to find his body in order to return him to life." Gabe explains.

"Okay. Sam and Dean aren't here, it's not like they'll know I was temporarily dead again. Can you find his body?" she asks anxiously. She couldn't stand still. She needed to get to Adam as soon as possible. She felt absolutely awful about forgetting about him. He was, after all, her brother-in-law now.

"I'll be right back."

Five minutes later Castiel appears with Adam, or his body that is, and lays him down on the couch. "Shall we?"

Alexis nods and walks over to him. Then everything goes black.

"This is Adam's heaven?" Alexis asks when she wakes up. Looking around she couldn't find anyone.

"This is it." Gabe responds.

She walks around for another ten minutes before finally laying eyes on someone. As the guy turns she sees that it's Adam. Before she even realizes it, her feet are carrying her to him.

"Adam!"

Adam immediately whips around, clearly on high alert. He relaxes ever so slightly when he sees Alexis and his face contorts in confusion. "Alexis?"

"It's me." she responds, coming to a stop just in front of him.

"Wh-what are you doing here? You're dead?" Adam asks.

"No. Well technically yes, but no. I'm here to bring you back, that is if you want to come back. I made a promise. I keep my promises."

"You keep your promises." Adam whispers. "You really are here to bring me back to life? How?"

"A friend. One of the few angels I know that can be trusted. So if you want to go back, you're back. If you're happy here, that's fine too." she explains, glancing back at Gabe, who was about twenty feet away.

"I want to go back." Adam says definitively. There wasn't a single hint of doubt in his voice.

Alexis nods and gestures for him to follow her over to Gabriel.

* * *

**\- Back at the apartment - **

"Why are the lights on?" Dean asks as he and Sam walk into the apartment.

They had finished the hunt up that afternoon and decided to just head back instead of sticking around another night in a shitty motel.

"I don't know. Lex?" Sam calls out, also wondering why the lights were on. _It's two in the morning. She should be asleep, _Sam thinks to himself. If she was up at two that meant she wasn't sleeping again and he'd have to talk to her about it.

The brothers are met with silence and head into the living room. From there Dean spots Alexis on the chair by the couch. "She must have fallen asleep out here." Dean says, setting his bags down.

Sam does the same and walks over to her, intending to carry her into their bedroom. The position she was in did not look comfortable. But when he does so, he realizes she's too still. His breath catches in his throat and his blood runs cold. He quickly brings two fingers to her neck, hoping to find a pulse, and panicking even more so when he does not.

"Sammy?" Dean asks, looking over at his brother, who looked like he was having a panic attack.

"She… she's not breathing." Sam responds, his heart shattering into thousands of pieces as he takes a seat on the ground, pulling Alexis into his lap, hoping that maybe she'd just wake up.

"What? There-there's no blood." Dean says, making his way to them. As he bends down across from Sam, his body facing the couch, he spots someone on the couch and his eyes nearly fall out of his head. "Sammy, look behind you."

With tears in his eyes Sam turns his head. He nearly falls over when he sees that Adam, or Adam's body, was on the couch. "It's… Adam."

"Wh-what? What the hell is going on here?" Dean says, glancing between Alexis and Adam.

Before either brother can say another word, both Alexis and Adam wake up with a gasp.

Sam immediately wraps his arms tightly around her, not caring for an explanation yet, he'd get angry later. "You scared the hell out of me." he mumbles.

"S-Sam? What- what are you guys doing back?" Alexis says, extremely confused. She couldn't have been dead that long. And yet here she was, in Sam's lap, practically being strangled, with Dean looking at her like he could cry.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean asks after a minute of staring wide-eyed at Alexis and Adam.

Sam releases his grip on her, allowing both of them to stand up.

"I uh, I got Adam back." Alexis says.

"You were dead, Alexis." Dean responds, not sure what he should say, or even sure what he felt. He had no idea what had just happened.

"Yeah, and now I'm not. Not the first time that's happened." she replies as if it were a completely casual thing, though to her it almost was.

"Dean, show Adam to one of the bedrooms. We can all talk tomorrow, I need to speak with my _wife _right now." Sam says, his tone now eerily calm. Now was the time to get angry.

Adam's eyes widen at the word wife and he looks to Alexis for confirmation. Out of the three of them, Alexis was the only one he even marginally trusted at the moment.

Alexis nods at Adam and watches as Dean leads Adam down the hallway.

Dean's head was spinning. They'd just gone on a simple hunt. Sure it was the first one that had been just he and Sam since the wedding, but it was normal. Then they come back to find Alexis dead along with their half-brother who they'd, in all honesty, kind of forgotten about. Now he was leading that newly alive half-brother to bed.

"Look, it's late, or early depending on how you look at it, but I know from experience that when you come back from the dead, you're tired. So unless you have any pressing needs right now, just get some sleep. You can bet your ass we'll all be talking about this in the morning." Dean says, not really sure what he actually should say to Adam. _Sorry we forgot you existed? Sorry we left you with angels and went on with our lives? Yeah, no, _Dean thinks to himself.

Adam nods, he truly was tired. He then asks, "Did he say wife?"

Dean nods and says, "Three months."

Adam nods again.

"Alright, if you need anything I'm just down the hall. You may not want to go out there for a bit. There's probably going to be yelling on both parts." Dean says and then heads out towards his room. He'd get his stuff from the living room later, when it was safe.

* * *

"Sam there's no need to get mad, I-" Alexis begins only to have him cut her off.

"No need to get mad? Are you hearing yourself?! You were dead, Lex! Dead!" Sam booms, his face a mixture of disbelief and anger.

"And now I'm not." she responds, her arms crossed. She understood some anger from Sam, but not this.

"You cannot be serious, Alexis. You were dead, not breathing, gone. I don't care if you knew it was just temporarily, that isn't something that you just do, not without talking to someone, without talking to me." he says, his voice lowering a bit, but his tone still laced with anger but also giving way to fear.

"Sam-"

"No. No. I come home from a hunt, a hunt that I wasn't even sure I wanted to go on, I might add, one that you insisted I go on, saying you'd be fine alone- I come home to find you dead, Alexis, dead. No explanation, no sign of a fight, nothing, not even a drop of blood, just you, on the chair, not breathing. There's not a damn thing you can say to make that okay. That will never be okay. That's not something I should have ever had to go through. I- I thought I'd lost you again." Sam says, starting off strong but his voice breaking at the end.

Sam's words hit her hard, she hadn't exactly thought of that, what he'd just gone through. Had it been her, had she walked in and found Sam dead, she'd be freaking out too. Now she felt awful. Alexis steps forward, stopping just in front of Sam, saying, "Oh Sam."

He averts his eyes, afraid to make eye contact with her.

Seeing that, she takes another step and brings her hands to his cheeks. "Hey, look at me."

Feeling himself beginning to unravel beneath her touch, Sam brings his eyes to hers.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I didn't think of that, of what I just unintentionally put you through. I didn't think you and Dean would be back. I didn't - I didn't think really at all, alright? All I know is I woke up in a cold sweat with Adam being the only thing on my mind. We forgot about him, Sam, for months. I made him a promise, a promise that I would get him back, and I needed to come through on that."

And like that all the anger melts away, leaving him scared and hurt. He nods slowly, trying to figure out if he could speak without crying. He wasn't sure exactly why he was freaking out so much still. She was right, it had happened many times before. It just never got any easier. "Lex, I- I can't keep going through that. I cannot keep losing you. There- there was the fire, the car accident, those demons Lilith sent after you, Lilith, hellhounds, Joshua, Lucifer, and- and now this. That's five times you died and three times you nearly did, Lex. Eight times I've almost lost you for good. That's eight too many." Sam says, a few tears running down his face by the time he finishes.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Alexis says, taking her arms and wrapping them around Sam, pulling him as close to her as she could.

Sam nods and rests his head on her shoulder, letting her hold him while he stopped crying.

* * *

The next two weeks all four of them spend in Chicago. Then, with Adam having decided he wants to hunt, Dean takes him to Bobby's for training. The next time they're all together is Christmas.

Sam, Dean, Alexis, Adam, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Arizona, and Ellie all spend Christmas together at the roadhouse and stay through New Years.

Before Alexis knew it, it was the middle of January already. The day she dreaded every single year had crept up on her. January 13th. That's why she was out on the terrace at three in the morning that day. She couldn't sleep, never could on that day. It wasn't possible. The second she'd close her eyes the entire night would come back to her, the accident would replay in her mind over and over and over again.

She'd been out there for about twenty minutes by the time she hears the door from the living room slide open. That told her right away that it wasn't Sam, so she turns her head slightly to see Adam walking over to her. Sam, Dean, and Adam had all gone on a hunt a couple days ago and had just gotten back, so Dean and Adam were staying at the apartment for a few days. They did that a lot. Sam hunted much less now, as did she, but Adam and Dean hunted together pretty often. Adam hunted the most out of them all. He and Jo had connected and had done a handful of hunts together.

"What are you doing out here? It's late and it's freezing." Adam says, visibly shivering on purpose.

"It's not that cold. It's actually kinda warm for January in Chicago." Alexis responds.

"It's below freezing, it's cold. It's also late. So what are you doing out here?"

"Can't sleep. What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Woke up and came to get something to drink. Then I saw you out here, saw that it was after two, and decided to see what you were doing." Adam replies.

"Well go get your drink and go back to sleep then." she says, turning back to look off the terrace again. There was something about Chicago in the winter, especially at night. It was so pretty. The snow had a way of lighting things up, despite the fact that it was two in the morning and should be pitch black out she could make out everything crystal clear.

"After you."

"I told you I can't sleep."

"Well then I'm not going back inside. Why can't you sleep?" Adam asks. He was truly curious. He also liked to think that in the last four months he and Alexis had developed a relationship, almost more of one than he'd developed with either of his brothers. He was still trying to figure them out, yet Alexis was the one who remained the biggest mystery of all.

"It doesn't matter Adam, just go back to bed." Alexis says, not really wanting to get into it with him right now, or anyone for that matter.

"Please?" he says.

She'd made the mistake of facing him again. One thing Adam had in common with Sam and Dean were his eyes. All three of them had eyes that cut right into you. Sam's made you practically melt, Dean's made you feel like he was looking straight through you, and Adam's were somewhere in between. "It's the anniversary of my best friend's death, alright? I can never sleep on this day every year." she responds, sounding slightly more bitter than she'd intended.

Adam nods and after a moment asks, "How long?"

"Hm?"

"What anniversary?"

"Oh. Four. He's been gone four years." she says sadly, thinking back once again to the night it happened. _If we'd just left ten minutes earlier..._

"I'm sorry." Adam responds, knowing how hard it was to lose people you loved and that the anniversary of the death never got any easier. It was like suddenly it was that day all over again, no matter how many years had passed.

Alexis nods and says, "Can you just go back to bed? I'd rather be alone."

"You shouldn't be out here long. You'll get sick."

"Adam, I'm fine. Just please go back inside."

He doesn't say anything for a couple minutes. Then, with some hesitation, he says, "Lex?"

She turns to look at him again, a questioning look on her face.

"I never thanked you, for bringing me back, giving me another shot at life." he says.

"You don't have to thank me. I made a promise."

"I know, but it wasn't one I necessarily expected you to come through on, so thank you."

"I keep my promises." Alexis replies with a small smile. She was glad she'd gotten Adam back. It was nice having him around and it was nice to see him developing an actual relationship with both Sam and Dean.

"So you've said." Adam responds. "You sure you won't come back inside?"

Alexis just shakes her head, turning back to look off the terrace again.

Seeing that nothing he could say would get her to come in, he nods and heads back inside. He didn't intend to leave her out there though. He was going to wake Sam. If anyone could get her back inside, it was Sam.

Adam heads to their bedroom door and cracks it open. With Sam being a hunter, he figured he shouldn't be too hard to wake. "Sam?" he calls out.

As figured, Sam's awake within seconds. "Adam?" he asks, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. He then glances next to him and when doesn't see Alexis he furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "Where is she?"

"Outside. She said it was the anniversary of her best friend's death and that she couldn't sleep?" Adam responds.

Sam glances at the clock to find that since it was after midnight it was indeed January 13th. "Zac. Dammit, I forgot." he says, mentally hitting himself for not remembering.

"She wouldn't come in and it's freezing."

"Go back to bed. I'll get her." Sam says, pushing back the covers and getting out of bed.

Adam nods and walks out, heading back to bed.

Sam slips on some shoes and a jacket then walks over to the door to the terrace. Sure enough there was Alexis standing out there, looking out off the terrace, a blanket wrapped around her. With a sigh he slides the door open and steps out.

This time Alexis hears the bedroom door open and she knows its Sam. _Adam must have sent him out. Great. _

"Lex, come inside." Sam says, walking over to her.

"Just go back to bed Sam." she responds despite knowing her efforts to get him to do just that were futile.

"Not without you. Come on, you'll get sick out here."

"I can't. I can't sleep, Sam. Just leave me be." she says. She really did just want to be alone.

"You know I can't do that. I get that you can't sleep, but please come back inside. It's freezing out here." Sam pleads. Adam was right. It really was cold. It was not good for her to be out here, especially with just a blanket.

"Sam…"

"Lex, please. You don't have to talk, you don't even have to fall back to sleep, just come back inside with me."

Alexis turns to face him, making the same mistake she had with Adam, and when she meets his eyes, she almost instantaneously relents. He was looking at her with those big brown puppy dog eyes of his and she couldn't say no. So she nods and allows Sam to wrap an arm around her and lead her back inside.

Once back in their bedroom, Sam slips off his shoes and jacket and gets back into bed, gesturing for Alexis to do the same.

She does so and Sam pulls her to him, adjusting her so that her head was rested on her chest.

"I know it's hard, and I know you don't like to talk about it, but I'm here, okay? I'm here if you need me. Just lay here, if you fall asleep, you fall asleep, if not, well, I'm still here." he says, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Alexis nods and relaxes a bit against Sam. She knew he was there, he was always there for her, so she closes her eyes, even though she knew she wouldn't fall back to sleep, and lays there, letting Sam go back to sleep.

* * *

_A/N: I know this chapter is a bit all over the place. I cover a lot of time in it. It'll probably be another chapter or two before I work my way into season 6. It may be a while until the next chapter. I really want to go back and edit this whole thing again. I missed some stuff, it can be enhanced a bit, and I want to take out all the _-centric POV things and keep it third person omniscient. A few may become third person limited but it will say so. I'll be writing the next chapter while editing so the next one may go up before I'm through the story. _  
_Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Let me know what you think about Adam being back? I'll stop rambling now (:_


	42. How Far We've Come

_Little bit of a disclaimer here: This chapter may look like I'm turning this into a full blown AU and completely veering off from canon but I am not. There's a year between season 5 and 6 that I'm accounting for. I__'ll get to season 6 in my own way (:_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anyone in it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 42: How Far We've Come**

The awful sound of puking wakes Sam up. He knew without even opening his eyes that it was Alexis. He'd been woken up by the same sound every day for the past week. At first he thought she was just sick, but this was going on too long. He's quickly out of bed and heading into the bathroom.

He immediately bends down behind her before easing himself to the ground. With one hand he holds her hair back and with the other he begins to rub circles on her back. He hated seeing her feeling so awful and now he was truly getting worried. This shouldn't have gone on for more than three or four days. Today made it six.

Neither of them say a word. Once she finishes she leans back against Sam, feeling awful and nauseous. _Six days in a row? Really? This sucks, _she thinks to herself. She rarely got sick.

"Lex?" Sam says after thinking for a few minutes about what could be wrong.

She turns her head slightly so that she could see him, a questioning look on her face. "Hm?"

"This isn't just a cold or the flu. It's been the whole week. Do you um… are you… are you late?" he asks, not sure of the best way to ask what he was asking.

His question hits her like a ton of bricks. She hadn't thought of that… and now that she truly did think about it, she was late. _No, no no no, I can't be pregnant. No. _

"Lex?" Sam asks after a few minutes of silence.

"I…" she trails off, not able to speak. She nods instead.

He takes a deep breath before speaking again. "Okay, okay. It's okay."

Alexis shakes her head against his chest. It wasn't okay. She wasn't ready.

"Yes it is. We're okay. We've talked about this, Lex. We both said someday. And we don't even know if this is what we're both thinking, okay? Why don't we get dressed and go to the store?" Sam says, keeping his tone as calm as he could. He needed her to stay calm so he had to stay calm.

She slowly nods, not trusting her voice. Her mind was suddenly racing. She felt like a deer caught in headlights really. What was she supposed to do? She wasn't ready, not in the slightest. She couldn't be a mother, not yet, maybe not ever. So she decides to try and push it from her mind until she knew for sure.

Sam stands up first and offers his hand to her, helping her up. The two get ready to leave in complete silence.

Sam's mind was also racing. He was a little scared but mostly he was excited. Had you asked him a few years ago if he ever wanted kids, he would've probably said no. But it was a whole different story now. He found someone that he wanted to have a family with and could actually see the possibility of it working out.

Twenty minutes later, the two are out the door. Since there was a store just a couple blocks away, they walk. The entire trip to the store is silent. Alexis hadn't said a word since they were in the bathroom. Even then she hadn't said much. But Sam let her be. He knew her well enough to know that her silence was simply her trying to process what was going on. They'd have to talk soon enough anyway.

As soon as they get back to the apartment Alexis heads to the bathroom, bag in hand. She knew she should say something, anything, to Sam, but she couldn't. She didn't know what to say, so she went with not saying anything. Sitting on the bathroom floor, three pregnancy test boxes staring her in the face, she couldn't believe she was there. They hadn't been trying, they hadn't even really talked about it since before the wedding, and now, now she might really be pregnant. In nine months they could have a real, tiny, human being entirely dependent on the two of them. She was in no way prepared for that. For a long time she could barely take care of herself. She had Sam frequently reminding her to eat, checking if she slept, and now she was supposed to be able to care for a baby? How could she do that when she'd just begun truly caring for herself?

After taking the three tests, three to be sure, she waited, and waited, and waited. And finally, after what seemed to be hours, the timer she'd set on her phone goes off. She now had three very positive pregnancy tests staring her in the face. That was it. She was going to be a mother, whether she was ready or not.

Alexis sits there for a few more minutes, trying to process what she'd just learned, and trying to figure out exactly how she felt about it. It wasn't like she was this kid-hating, evil, witch. She loved kids. And yeah, she and Sam had said someday. She just didn't think someday would come so soon. She was severely unprepared. She also just couldn't shake the feeling that she was going to be a horrible mother. With a sigh she stands up and discards the three tests in the trash before walking out towards Sam. She finds him on the bed, just waiting there for her.

Sam immediately looks up at Alexis when he hears her footsteps, silently asking what the tests said. He couldn't get a read on her face, it was completely blank.

Not trusting her voice just yet, she nods in response to his unspoken inquiry.

Taking a deep breath, Sam stands up and walks over to her. "We're… we're having a baby." he says, the first time either of them had actually said it out loud.

Alexis nods again, feeling like part of her wanted to cry and the other part wanted to smile and be happy.

Letting out another deep breath, he speaks again. "Okay, okay. It's okay. We're going to be okay. All of us."

She shakes her head in denial. "Sam, I'm- I'm not ready…" Alexis says, finally speaking, her voice cracking.

"Neither am I. But we will be, okay? We'll figure it out."

She continues to shake her head. "No, no, I- I can't do this."

Seeing the true fear and doubt in her eyes, Sam takes another step closer, placing his hands firmly on her shoulders, and says, "Hey, look at me. I want this, I do, but it's not me who's going to have to do this. It's not my body that's going to go through so many changes in the next nine months. It's yours. And if you don't want this, if you really don't think you can do this, I'll stand behind you, okay? Whatever you decide, I'm not going anywhere."

Seeing that she was still conflicted, he adds, "We can take this one day at a time, okay? We still have time."

She nods, his words putting her mind a bit more at ease. They did still have some time. "We're having a baby." she states after a minute, also needing to say it out loud for once.

A small smile spreads across Sam's face as he says, "We are." Then, bringing one hand to her stomach, he adds, "And all three of us are going to be just fine."

"Could be four. Twins run on my dad's side of the family." Alexis chimes in, a small smile on her face, one that grows larger at the look that crosses Sam's face.

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Oh God." Sam says, a new wave of fear hitting him. He wanted a baby, but twins? Twins would be so much harder.

"You're the one who said we were all going to be just fine." Alexis responds, finding an odd source of joy in Sam's fear.

Sam steps behind her so that her back was to him. Then, wrapping his arms around her, he says, "And we will. We'll all be fine, however many of us that is."

She nods and leans back, resting her head against Sam's chest. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Me either. Why don't we go get some food? Neither of us ate when we got up."

Alexis nods again and the two head out the door a few minutes later.

They end up at a Culver's, per Alexis' request.

Once they're seated and have their food, Sam says, "You know this means absolutely no hunting for you now for at least nine months. Me too I suppose, I don't plan on leaving you if I don't have to."

Alexis frowns, not having thought about that. "Damn."

"And no drinking." he adds in.

"Fuck. I didn't think of that either. Fine, I don't drink, you don't drink." she responds, not happy about having to also give up alcohol for nine months.

"But-"

"Oh no, if I gotta go sober for nine months, so do you. You played a part in this too, you know." If she had to suffer, so did he.

"Fine." Sam responds, the look in her eye telling him she was dead set on keeping him from alcohol for the duration of the pregnancy.

"We need to make a doctor's appointment." she says as she takes a bite of her chicken sandwich, changing the subject.

"We can do that when we get home."

* * *

The next day, a blizzard hits the city. There was snow everywhere. Alexis and Sam were snowed in. The apartment's garage door couldn't open as it was frozen shut. The wind gusts outside were up to almost 70 miles per hour. It was reported that the area around O'Hare airport had gotten 21 inches of snow. Almost everything was closed. Kids were given snow days, people took off work, most people didn't even leave their houses. Alexis and Sam stayed in. They ate what was in the house, ordered in, and spent their time by either reading, watching movies, TV, or talking about how different life was going to be by the end of the year.

They didn't leave the apartment until the 4th, the day they'd been able to make the doctor's appointment for. There it was determined that Alexis was around five weeks pregnant. After that, Sam called Dean and Alexis called her mother and Jo, asking them to come up the following week. They wanted to tell them at the same time, in person.

"I think I know how I want to tell them." Alexis says, walking into the living room, where Sam was seated on the couch, book in hand.

"How's that?" Sam asks, looking up from his book. He then sets his book down and pats the couch, gesturing for her to take a seat.

She does so, walking over and sitting down at his side. "Well," she begins, leaning her head against Sam's shoulder, "we could get key chains or something. For my mom it could read _world's best grandma, _for Dean, _world's best uncle, _and for Jo, _world's best aunt._ I know that doesn't count Adam, but…"

"I like that. And as for Adam, I know he's my half brother, but he's not immediate family, not really. Not like Dean is to me and your sister and mother are to you." Sam responds, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah, you're right. I wonder where we can find key chains like that."

"I'm sure we'll find them pretty easily. Maybe not key chains, but I guarantee you if we walk into a baby store, there will be an entire section of stuff plastered with things like, _world's best dad, best grandma ever, _and_ number one uncle_."

"Yeah, probably. And then I was thinking we could wrap them in a small box or something. I kind of want to see their faces as realization sets in."

"I think that sounds like a plan. They're all set to be here Wednesday right? The 9th?" Sam says. That's what he'd told Dean.

"Yeah, the 9th."

The next day, Sunday, they search for the key chains. With the help of Google, they were able to find a store not too far from them that carried key chains like the ones Alexis had thought of.

Before they knew it, it was the night before Dean, Ellen, and Jo were set to arrive. It was sometime around one am and Alexis was out on the terrace, unable to sleep. She really hadn't been sleeping well since she found out she was pregnant. From the minute Sam had even hinted at it there was this feeling that had set in. Like a weight had been put on her shoulders and it was only a matter of time before she crumpled under it. She put on a smile for Sam, pretended she was happy about it, and she was, she was happy, but deep down, she was scared. Something was telling her that it was not going to be okay, that they weren't going to get their happy family.

Nightmares had also been popping up again. A million different scenarios all with the same result: losing the baby. She didn't want Sam to know, she didn't want to worry him. He was happy. He loved his small job at the library and he was over the moon about having a baby. She could see him just practically bursting at the seams with excitement, wanting to be able to share it with Dean. She didn't want to ruin that, so she didn't. And that is why she'd ended up on the terrace or in the living room most nights for the past week or so. This night, she was on the terrace with one of Sam's hoodies on, a jacket of hers over that, and a blanket wrapped around her. There was still so much snow from the blizzard. It was all so pretty to look at. She'd never experienced a blizzard before, she'd never seen this much snow in her life, and she loved it.

After about twenty minutes she hears the terrace door, the one from their bedroom, slide open. Sam was up.

"Lex, what are you doing out here? It's freezing and it's late. Come inside." Sam says, quickly making his way over to her. He'd woken up to go to the bathroom, but when he glanced over and didn't see Alexis, he got a little worried. Sure enough, he found her outside.

"I'm fine." she responds, still staring off the terrace.

"Come inside."

"Sam, just go back to bed, I'm good."

"No. It's literally like twelve degrees out here, Lex. It's way too cold. It's not good for you and it's not good for the baby. I don't even know how long you've been out here." Sam says, insistent on getting her to come inside.

"Fine." she says, relenting upon seeing the look in his eye. It told her that he was getting her back inside, even if that meant he had to drag her in.

They head in through the living room door and Alexis takes off her jacket, leaving her in Sam's hoodie.

"Now what's going on, Lex? Why didn't you wake me up?" Sam says, turning to face her. He really was worried. The last time he'd found her on the terrace, well Adam had, was the anniversary of Zac's death.

"I just couldn't sleep, okay? I didn't want to wake you up."

"Don't tell me you're not sleeping again." he says, beginning to think back in his mind to the last time he'd actually seen her sleep.

Alexis drops her eyes to the ground, knowing that no matter what she said, Sam would know she hadn't been sleeping and she hadn't told him.

"Dammit Lex, why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"This is why." she responds, looking back up at him. He was definitely mad.

"This is because you didn't tell me! I thought we'd gotten past this. This whole you not sleeping and then hiding it from me thing. It's not healthy, Lex, and now it's not just you that it's going to affect." Sam says, raising his voice slightly. He couldn't believe he'd missed it again, he should've caught it.

_The baby. He's guilt-tripping me. Great. _"Sam-"

"No. You can't do this again. You can't just stop sleeping. You have to talk to me this time, okay? I cannot watch you do this again. You know where this leads, and I can't do that again Lex, I won't."

_Oh yeah, major guilt-tripping. Now he's taking it all the way back to that time he had to admit me to the psych ward. _"I'm sorry. I didn't want to worry you."

"I'm always going to worry about you. I just need you to tell me these things. I need you to stop hiding things from me. If you talk to me, I can help." Sam says, pretty much all the anger having faded away, leaving him just concerned.

"I'm just scared, okay? I haven't been able to shake the feeling that everything isn't going to be okay, that something is going to happen. Either to me, the baby, or both of us. And now I'm having nightmares about it." she admits, feeling a little stupid about it. She always thought the worst and Sam had to be the voice of reason.

"Hey, it's okay to be scared. But nothing is going to happen. You're safe, both of you are." Sam says, taking a step closer to her and placing a hand on her stomach. It was still so unbelievable to him that beneath his hand there was a tiny life forming, one that was solely created by he and Alexis.

"I know that, at least part of me does, but I just can't shake it."

"Let's go to bed, okay? If you wake up, you wake me up."

Alexis nods and follows Sam into their bedroom, hoping she truly could get some sleep.

* * *

The next day they eat lunch out and then wait for Dean, Ellen, and Jo. They all arrive within fifteen minutes of each other, Dean around 1:00 and then Jo and Ellen around 1:15.

"So why'd you two want us all up here?" Ellen asks, voicing the question that was on both her mind as well as Dean's and Jo's.

"We have something for you." Alexis says, trying to hide her smile and keep a straight face.

"And that would be?" Jo asks, her head tilted out of curiosity.

"Yeah, really. What is it?" Dean adds in.

"Sit." Sam says, gesturing to the three bar stools over at the counter.

As they do so, Alexis grabs the three small boxes off of the coffee table and then she and Sam walk to the other side of the counter so that they could face their family.

"What's this?" Ellen asks, eyeing the box placed in front of her curiously.

"You'll see. Just open them at the same time." Alexis says, barely containing her excitement. She wanted to see all of their faces when they realized what it meant.

Dean opens his with a look of determination on his face, determination to figure out whatever it was. They never really gave gifts to each other, especially not randomly. When he gets his open he almost thinks it's empty as he doesn't see anything inside other than padding. When he flips it over, out plops a small keychain. When he flips that over, he finds a few words engraved on it. '_World's Best Uncle' _it read. _Uncle? What? _he thinks, his mind suddenly. He looks over to find that both Jo and Ellen had gotten similar key chains and had similar looks on their faces.

Jo opens her box very quickly, wanting to figure out what it was. Her eyes are immediately drawn to the shining sliver of silver peeking through the padding in the box. When she pulls it out and flips it face side up in her palm, she finds that it reads, '_World's Best Aunt'. _Immediately tears begin to fill her eyes, happy ones, as she looks over to her mother.

Ellen was the last to get hers open, only by a few seconds. When she reads '_World's Best Grandma' _her heart skips a beat and a smile spreads across her face.

All three hunters look up at nearly the exact time, almost simultaneously putting together what the key chains meant.

"Th-these are real?" Jo asks, a huge smile plastered on her face.

Alexis smiles in response and nods. Seconds later both Ellen and Jo are wrapping their arms around her, both with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes.

Sam steps aside to talk to Dean, leaving Alexis to talk with her sister and mother.

"A baby, huh? Congratulations, Sammy." Dean says.

"Yeah, a baby." Sam responds, watching as Ellen and Jo excitedly fire questions at Alexis.

"I take it you're happy about this, but how's she?" Dean asks, also watching the three Harvelles, his attention mainly on Alexis.

"She's happy but she's also scared. She's not sleeping again, Dean. Found her out on the terrace last night after one in the morning. And she's not talking to me about it."

"Let me try." Dean says, watching Alexis' every move. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes he could see something that Sam couldn't. It was like there was this one connection that the two of them had that Alexis and Sam did not.

"What?" Sam asks, giving Dean a curious look.

"You're her husband, Sammy. You and I both know she only tries to keep things from you so that you don't worry. It's like her way of protecting you. Sometimes, when she won't or even can't talk to you, she talks to me. It's worth a shot. She's gotta sleep, especially now that it affects more than just her."

"Yeah, you're right."

"So, do you guys have a due date?" Dean asks, wondering around when it was that he would actually be an uncle.

"First week of September." Sam replies, a smile on his face.

"Wow. September. I'm really happy for you, Sam, for both of you. If anyone deserves it it's you two." Dean says, a smile on his face also. His little brother was practically beaming with joy and that was a sight he didn't get to see often.

"Thanks, Dean."

Meanwhile, Alexis was being flanked with questions and congratulations.

"I'm going to be an aunt." Jo repeats yet again, each time her voice laced with disbelief.

"I'm so happy for you two, Lex." Ellen says, smiling from ear to ear.

"How far along are you?" Jo questions.

"Five weeks." Alexis responds.

"Five weeks. I can't believe it. We haven't had a baby in the family since you, Lex." her mother states.

"I know." Alexis says, a smile on her face. Seeing her family so happy was rubbing off on her, making her happier about it, and diminishing her fear a bit also.

The three Harvelles spend the next half hour talking about the baby and things.

They all stay at the apartment that night, ordering in for dinner and watching movies together. Ellen is the first one to head to bed, followed by Jo. Around 11, Sam says he was going to bed also.

It was now just Dean and Alexis. They were in the middle of an episode of Saturday Night Live that had been on demand. After feeling Dean throwing glances at her for fifteen minutes Alexis says, "You want to say something, just say it."

"How are you doing?" Dean asks. He hadn't really talked to her in a while. Not anything more than small talk since probably before Christmas.

"Fine."

"You're not sleeping, Lex."

Alexis clicks off the TV and rolls her eyes as she turns towards Dean. "He told you that?"

"Yeah, he did. He's worried about you." Dean says, clasping his hands and leaning forward, resting his elbows on his thighs.

"Well he doesn't need to be. Neither do you." she replies, tired of being fussed over. She couldn't exactly help the fact that she wasn't sleeping.

"Well that's tough, because he is, and honestly, so am I. Not sleeping isn't healthy in the first place, Lex, you know where that's led for you before, and now it's not just going to affect you. You've got to sleep and you've got to talk about whatever it is that's keeping you up."

"Remember back when your deal was about to be up? Remember what I told you? That I had this feeling that we weren't going to get you out of it?" Alexis says, figuring this was the only way she was going to get her point across without sounding like a crazy, overly-concerned, mother-to-be.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Dean asks, caught off guard. The change in conversation was entirely random.

"Do you?" she asks, positioning herself so that she was sitting cross-legged on the couch, facing Dean.

"Y-yeah, why?"

"It's that kind of feeling, Dean. I had that feeling for months. And it came true. Now, now it's the same type of feeling. I can't shake it. Something is going to happen, to me or the baby or both, and I'm scared, okay? That's why I can't sleep."

"Lex…"

"No, I'm trying, Dean, I'm trying to be happy about this, see it the way Sam does. See that we'll be one happy family and everything will be fine, but I can't. Not when I'm constantly plagued with the thought of something awful happening, losing the baby or something. Nothing you can say and nothing Sam can say will change that."

"I'm sorry. I know what you mean, I do. And that's hard. It's an awful feeling. But there isn't anything you can do about it either, Lex, not really. So as much as I hate to say this, I think you got to leave it be, whatever's going to happen is going to happen." Dean says, understanding entirely what Alexis meant. She had a point, especially with the lives they lead. Nothing is ever easy for them.

"Yeah, I know and it sucks, but I am trying." she responds, glancing down at her stomach. She wouldn't be showing for some time, but it still looked different to her.

"And you just have to keep trying. Talk to Sam, talk to me, it's better sometimes if you let it out instead of keeping it in. Now try and get some sleep, okay?"

Alexis nods and heads off to bed, hoping that maybe she could sleep after talking to Dean. When she gets into her room, she finds Sam still awake and sitting up on the bed, leaning against the headrest.

"I thought you were going to bed." she states. Sam had headed in at least a half an hour ago.

"Wanted to wait for you. Come here." he responds, patting the bed.

She raises an eyebrow at him and walks over, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

Sam pulls her over to him, resting her in his lap, and wraps his arms around her. "We're going to be okay, alright? All of us. I just need you to talk to me."

Alexis leans back, resting her head on his chest, and sighs. "I know, but I don't want to worry you."

"I'm more worried about you when you don't talk to me than when you do."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just talk to me, alright? These next eight months will be a whole lot easier if you do."

Alexis nods, letting his words sink in. It wasn't like she didn't want to talk to him, she did. And most of the time, she did talk to him. But when it came to talking about herself, she couldn't seem to. She'd revert to silence instead.

Sam kisses the top of her head and says, "Get some sleep. And if you wake up or can't sleep at all, I want you to wake me up, okay?"

She nods again and slides off the bed, heading into her closet to change. A few minutes later she slides back into bed next to Sam and eventually falls asleep.

* * *

The next two months are a whirlwind. Alexis and Sam had slowly began prepping for the baby, buying a few things here and there, doctor's appointments, and reading up on stuff. Ellen, Jo, Dean, Bobby, and Adam had all been spending more time around the apartment once the news had gotten out. Arizona and Ellie made more frequent visits also. Despite being fully capable of doing just about anything, Alexis had people practically waiting on her hand and foot. None of them had had a baby within their little hunter family in so long that Alexis' pregnancy was a huge deal.

Sam watched her more carefully, at first to make sure she was sleeping, and then just to make sure she was okay, physically and emotionally. He'd started talking to the baby also when Alexis started showing, even just slightly. The two of them would sometimes just sit in bed, Alexis in his lap, and talk either to the baby or about the baby. He was happy, he was really and truly happy. Whenever he'd glance at her, especially when she wasn't looking, he'd find himself smiling. He'd smile whenever he thought about it.

Dean had grown very attached to the baby. The idea of having a niece or nephew come September was amazing to him. There would be this tiny human being, entirely dependent on others, and it would be his family. He was going to be an uncle. Dean also started watching Alexis more carefully, especially with what she had confessed to him. He watched her to be sure she was okay, he'd ask her often how she was doing, and he offered to help with just about anything.

Adam grew more protective of Alexis as well, they all did. He hung around more often, strengthening his relationships with his family members and helping out when he could.

Both Jo and Ellen were at the apartment very often. Jo and Alexis went shopping for clothes and other stuff practically every time they visited. Ellen came up and cooked a lot for them all and she was the one able to give Alexis advice and talk to her about things that she'd gone through with three pregnancies. It was something that Ellen could do for Alexis that no one else could.

Bobby had also grown very quickly attached to the baby. He'd practically have a granddaughter or grandson, and that made him very happy. He hung around more, making sure they all had what they needed, and adding some protection sigils to the apartment.

There was no doubt in anyone's mind that this baby would be extremely loved and cared for. He or she already had an army of hunters looking after them. Come September, the apartment would be full of people wanting to see the baby. Because of this, Alexis quickly began to feel more at ease also. The feeling that something bad was going to happen never quite went away, but it subsided a bit and she focused on taking care of the baby and herself the best she could.

Before Alexis knew it, spring was approaching. She hadn't even realized that it was April until she'd gotten a call from Jo.

"Hey, Jo." Alexis greets her sister, holding the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she opens the fridge.

"Hey, Lex. Are you busy this week?"

"I've got work the next three days but after that, I'm off the rest of the week. Why?" Alexis says. She hadn't quit working, she liked the job she had and there was no need for her to quit, not yet.

"Well my birthday is Thursday and mom and I wanted to come up. I thought maybe all three of us could spend it together? Like we used to when we were younger?"

"I didn't even realize it was your birthday this week. Damn. But Thursday works. Sam's got work but I'm home."

"Perfect. We'll come up Wednesday night then?"

"Sounds good. See you then, Jo."

"See you then." Jo responds, hanging up the phone.

She really hadn't realized it was the first week of April already. She needed a gift for her sister. "Sam!" Alexis calls out, not really sure where he was.

He surfaces seconds later. "What?"

"I'm going out. I'll be back later."

"Where? I'll go with you."

"No, stay, I'm good. Jo's birthday is this week and I gotta get her something." she replies, not wanting to force Sam to go shopping with her.

"Well then I should probably get her something too with her being my sister-in-law and all, don't you think?" he says, a small smirk on his face.

She smiles a bit and shakes her head. "Fine, let's go."

After an hour and a half of shopping both of them find gifts and end up at Flat Top Grill for dinner.

"You know, I still remember coming here for your twenty first birthday." Sam says as the two of them take their seats once again, having just filled their bowls up and now waiting for them to be stir-fried.

"So do I. It feels like forever ago." Alexis responds.

"We weren't even dating yet. We hardly knew each other."

"I know. God twenty-one. Never would've imagined I'd be here, like this, at twenty-five, here at all actually." she says, more thinking out loud.

Sam cocks his head slightly, not sure what she meant. "What do mean by not here at all?"

"Back then, when I was twenty, twenty-one, I didn't really think far ahead anymore, stopped picturing what life would be like in a number of years, I honestly figured I'd be dead by twenty-five. I mean, you didn't see me then, Sam, when I was hunting on my own. After everything with Kyle and then losing Zac, I got sloppy. Had more than a few close calls, and I think, had it not been for meeting you and Dean, I'd have gotten myself killed by now." she admits, not exactly proud of it. She didn't like to remember how dark things were for her back then, before the Winchesters came into her life and before she'd repaired her relationship with her mother.

"Lex… you never told me things were that bad." Sam replies, taking in the dark look in her eyes. It was almost a haunted look and he hated seeing it, how hurt she looked.

"I know, but they were. I had no one, Sam, not really. Jo and I… we spoke maybe once or twice a month? I never saw my mom, I'd drifted from Bobby, Zac was dead… You know I wasn't even sure I wanted to go to the roadhouse that day that I did? To ask Jo if she wanted to spend my 21st birthday with me like I had with her? I sat in my car for twenty minutes before I even walked in. Had I left, had I just left…. I don't even think I want to know where I'd be."

"Well you didn't leave. And then you met Dean and I. And now you're here, we're here, okay? You don't have to think about what would've happened because it didn't." he says, reaching across the table and taking one of her hands in his.

Alexis nods and says, "Let's uh, let's talk about something else."

Sam smiles slightly and starts talking about something that had happened at the library the other day.

And like that, they fell back into their routine. She quickly pushed away the memories that had surfaced and focused on Sam. Watching him talk about his job, one that he loved so much, made her happy. Just seeing that smile on his face, that real, genuine, smile, made her feel better. He was happy, and so was she.

* * *

Dean ends up crashing at the apartment Tuesday night, having come from a hunt he'd done with Bobby, and then Ellen and Jo arrive Wednesday night. By the time it was Thursday, Jo had a full day planned out.

First they went out for breakfast, then to Millennium Park, and then to Navy Pier. Once they were there Alexis insisted they go on the Ferris wheel, as it had one of the best views at the top. Jo wasn't too thrilled as it was 150 feet tall, but with egging on from both Alexis and Ellen, Jo agreed and the three got into one of the gondolas and went up. After that, seeing as the weather was nice, they all went on a speedboat called the Seadog. Jo then decided they'd go to Harry Caray's for lunch. The three Harvelles then explored the city until it was time for the Blue Man Group show that Jo had gotten tickets for. After the show, they eat a late dinner and head back to the apartment.

It was around ten by the time they got back and Ellen went straight to bed, saying she was exhausted. It made sense as Jo had had them out the door before nine that morning. Seeing as Sam and Dean had gone out to a bar, which their note indicated, Alexis heads out to the terrace with her sister.

The two stand in silence for a few minutes, admiring the view, but Jo breaks the silence. "Can you believe we're here? I mean, if you'd have asked me five, six years ago where I'd be on my twenty-seventh birthday, I'd have probably said dead or off hunting. Not here."

"I know exactly what you mean. I didn't think I'd live much past twenty-five, thirty maybe, and I honestly don't think I cared if I did, but now look at us. I'm married and pregnant, two words I never ever thought would be used to describe me, and you and I are good, like really good, and I think we're all actually happy. That's something that hasn't happened since dad and Matt died."

"Yeah. I'm really glad we're here. And I'm really really glad you and I are good. I know things haven't always been." Jo says, thinking back on the various fights the two had had in the past. Some were ridiculous, like fighting over who got the better gun when they went to Bobby's for target practice, and some were pretty heavy, like when Alexis left to hunt, leaving Jo behind. They went three months after that without so much as a word to one another.

"Me too."

After ten minutes of silence, Alexis speaks up. "Hey Jo?"

"Hm?" Jo replies, turning her head towards her younger sister.

"You know we want you to be the baby's godmother, right?"

Jo's eyes light up and a smile spreads across her face as she asks, "Really?"

"Yeah, really. I take it that's a yes?"

Jo nods and throws her arms around Alexis, saying, "Of course it's a yes."

"Happy birthday, Jo." Alexis says, tightening her arms around her sister.

Later that night, after Sam and Dean had gotten back, and everyone had gone into their bedrooms for the night, Alexis walks out of the bathroom, back into her bedroom, where Sam was seated on the bed, waiting for her.

As soon as she sits down, Sam pulls her into his lap and says, "How are my two girls?"

"You know it could be a boy, right?" Alexis replies.

"I know, I know, but I just have a feeling that it's a girl. And she'll look just like you." he responds, bringing one hand to her stomach.

"In that case, in about fifteen years, you're going to have trouble." she responds, remembering when the interest in boys sparked for her, or more importantly, boys' interest in her had started.

"What do you mean?"

"Boys, Sam, boys. I mean, if it's a girl, she could be into girls, who's to say, but that doesn't mean boys wouldn't be into her."

"I didn't think of that. We'll just homeschool her then. No boys." Sam resolves.

"Because that'll work. Girls are girls, Sam. If my mom knew half the things Jo and I did when we were teenagers..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks, now looking at her very curiously.

"We lived at the roadhouse, Sam. Sneaking alcohol wasn't that hard. Sneaking around really became very second nature to both of us. Alcohol, boys, books and weapons for hunting, all easy. I remember having to help Jo sneak a boy out of the house more than once and vice versa. But we're years ahead of ourselves, Sam. Boy or girl, we'll be fine."

Sam just shakes his head and presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm glad to hear you say that for once."

"If you believe it then there's no reason I shouldn't." she replies, though she still wasn't entirely sure they would be fine.

And with that final thought, the two turn out the lights and go to sleep.

* * *

_A/N: I actually had a longer chapter written, about another 1.5k words or so, but ended up cutting it here, so the next chapter is going to pick up right where this one left off. It also should be up quicker than my other updates have been recently as I have it started and know where I'm going. As I said in the beginning, I will be getting to season six in my own way within the next few chapters, I'm just filling in the year that passes between the seasons. Because of that, my dates are all going to be a year ahead than the show says, since the show doesn't actually skip the year date wise, they just say it happens. If they went date wise, season 10 would be in like 2016 right now. _

_Also, I tried to keep stuff pretty factual with Chicago in 2011 here. There was an awful blizzard that year. So much snow. So it's not made up, it happened (: _

_Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter! Reviews are always welcome._


	43. Tragedy

A/N: I was thankfully able to recover the chapter without accessing the computer that was down. So here it is! I feel I should warn you, there is character death in this chapter. Not detailed, but it's there.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 43: Tragedy**

It got to be after midnight and Alexis couldn't sleep. That feeling that she'd been suppressing the past few months had come back in full force, almost worse than before. That's how she ends up out on the terrace at 12:30 in the morning.

Sometime around one, Dean wakes up. He decides to head to the kitchen for a glass of water but as he's walking down the hall, he spots someone out on the terrace. He didn't have to get any closer to know it was Alexis. So instead of veering off into the kitchen, he heads out onto the terrace, intent on getting her back to bed.

"What are you doing out here?" Dean asks as he slides the door behind him shut.

"It's back." she responds, not bothering to turn her head towards him.

"What's back?" he questions, walking to stand next to her.

"That feeling that something is going to happen."

"Hey, I told you-"

"I know what you said but this is different, stronger. I can't sleep at all. My brain won't stop thinking about it. Something is going to go wrong, Dean, horribly wrong, and I don't know what it is and I can't stop it." Alexis says, cutting him off. She was frustrated and she was sad, to the point that she was near tears.

"It's not. You're okay, the baby is okay, you're both okay. You should be sleeping, but you're okay. And as long as you have Sam and I, you're going to be okay. You know Sam will do anything to protect you and your baby and you know I will too." Dean says firmly. He wanted to believe it, and for the most part he did, but that feeling that she had was scaring him a bit. It was intuition, and for her, it could be considered mother's intuition, and more often than not, mother's intuition and intuition in general tended to be right.

She nods as a tear escapes. She hated that she was so worked up over this, but she couldn't help it.

"Hey, come here." he says, pulling her closer to him and wrapping his arms around her. "It's okay, you're okay."

Alexis just nods again and wraps her arms around Dean, taking in the comfort of his arms. He truly felt like a big brother to her, and sometimes there's a comfort that only a big brother can provide.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed, okay? Get some sleep, you'll feel better in the morning."

She nods yet again and lets Dean lead her back inside. Once back in bed, she does manage to get about five hours of sleep.

* * *

That morning, Jo says she'd like to go shopping and Alexis says she'd go too, seeing as she needed a few things also. Ellen adds in that she'd join them. So the three Harvelles head out after lunch, deciding to go to a mall in one of the suburbs. They ended up spending the rest of the day there and finished up with a late dinner. By the time they were on the road and heading back to the apartment it was after eight.

"I love this song!" Jo exclaims as the opening notes of Unwell by Matchbox Twenty begin to play through the stereo.

Alexis turns the volume up and all three of them begin obnoxiously singing along as the song progresses.

_But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell_

_I know right now you can't tell_

_But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see_

_A different side of me_

_I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired_

_I know right now you don't care_

_But soon enough-_

And just as the first chorus was ending the music is abruptly cut off, replaced by the sound of shattering glass and screeching tires.

And then…

Nothing, nothing but blackness.

Sirens.

Shouts.

Crunching.

More shouts.

Louder sirens.

These sounds made their way to Alexis' brain but she couldn't get her eyes open. She's faintly aware of warm, sticky, blood spreading from somewhere on her and around her. She could also hear distant murmurs and the crunching of boots on glass. There was an accident. That she could process. The rest, like where Jo was, where her mother was, she could not. She couldn't manage to even open her eyes.

The first thing she hears, word for word, is her mother's voice, "My-my daughter, she's pregnant… you- you've got to get her out first."

_Oh mom… _She wanted to reach her mother, to see her, and say she was okay, but she couldn't. She was helpless.

Seconds later Alexis registers someone near her, two fingers touching her neck as a voice asks her if she's okay. But she couldn't speak and she couldn't open her eyes. She couldn't even stop herself from drifting back into the darkness.

And then nothing once again.

* * *

**-Back at the apartment. 8:45pm-**

Sam was sitting in the living room, completely immersed in the world of Divergent, a book he'd picked up from the 'Just In' section at the library earlier that week. And just as Tris was about to be thrown off the chasm, the sound of his phone tears him from the book. Setting the book aside, he stands up and walks over to his phone, which was on the kitchen counter.

"Hello?" he answers, not recognizing the number.

"Mr. Sam Winchester?" a voice asks on the other end of the line.

"Yes?" Sam responds hesitantly.

"Your wife has been in an accident. You should get to Northwestern Memorial Hospital right away…."

The lady continues to speak but Sam doesn't hear anything else as the phone falls from his hand and panic spreads throughout his entire body. At once he feels the life they'd built starting to crumble around him. He was frozen with fear.

From the hall, Dean here's a loud thud, prompting him to get up and head towards the living room, where he finds his brother standing stock still, sheer panic across his face, and his phone on the floor. "Sammy?"

"Th-there's been an accident." Sam manages to say, barely processing what he'd just been told. He'd just talked to her an hour ago, she said they were finishing dinner and then on their way home. It was only an hour ago...

Dean's blood runs cold. There'd been an accident. All three Harvelles were hurt. All he knew was they had to get to them. "I'll drive."

Sam nods, grabs his phone and jacket, and heads out the door, Dean catching up right behind him.

Fifteen minutes later they're walking through the doors of Northwestern Memorial Hospital. With Sam unable to do much more than walk, Dean flags down a nurse. "Excuse me, my sister-in-law's been in an accident."

The nurse directs them to the surgical floor waiting rooms and tells them who they should ask there.

All Sam could think about since the minute he heard the sentence, 'your wife has been in an accident' was seeing her, alive. Seeing her awake and hearing her insist that she was okay, that she wasn't going anywhere. Nothing else mattered at the moment. He hadn't even begun to process the fact that the accident meant both Ellen and Jo were hurt too.

Dean locates the desk they were instructed to find and speaks to the first person he finds. "Excuse me, we were told to come here about an accident. My sister-in-law and her family were in a car accident." he says, still not believing it despite it being the second time he had to say it.

"Name?" the woman asks, typing something into the computer.

"Alexis Harvelle Winchester is my sister-in-law, my brother here, his wife. Then it would be Ellen Harvelle and Joanna Harvelle."

The woman, Alison, types something else in and says, "I see. Someone should be out to update you shortly."

With that, Alison dismisses them and the brothers are left to wait in agony. They had no idea what happened, what condition any of them were in, and how long they'd have to wait.

Dean takes a seat, his head in his hands, and begins mentally kicking himself. Alexis had told him not even twenty-four hours ago that she had an awful feeling that something was going to go wrong. And lo and behold, he and Sam were now sitting in a hospital waiting room, waiting to find out if she was even alive.

Sam couldn't sit still, so he paces, and paces, and paces. _What if she's not okay? What if… what if she's dead? What if the baby is dead? What if they're all dead?_

After an hour of tense silence, pacing, and worrying, a doctor walks out, calling for Sam Winchester.

Dean stands up and Sam moves to stand next to his brother as the doctor walks over.

"You two are the family of Ellen and Joanna Harvelle and Alexis Harvelle Winchester?"

Both of them nod and Dean asks, "What happened? Are they okay?"

"There was a drunk driver going the wrong way down the expressway, he head on collided with their car. It appears that the driver's side was hit the hardest, the front taking most of the impact. Paramedics got there as fast as they could." the doctor begins, pausing there to allow them to take it in.

"And?" Dean says, needing to hear what condition they were all in.

"I'm sorry to say that Ellen Harvelle died en route, there was too much damage."

Dean could hardly process what he was hearing. Ellen was dead. The woman who had made them all breakfast that morning, the woman who had been the closest thing to a mother since his mother died, was dead.

Sam felt like he'd just been punched in the gut. His blood was cold and it felt like his heart had stopped. Ellen was dead, his mother-in-law, the only mother figure he'd ever had, was dead.

"J-Jo and Lex?" Dean manages to ask, his voice cracking. They had to be alive. They had to. He couldn't lose all three Harvelles at once.

"Both of them were rushed into surgery upon arrival. I was in Joanna's surgery. We tried our best but she didn't make it, I'm sorry."

_Jo is dead. _Unable to keep himself up any longer, he braces himself against Sam. Jo was gone, Ellen was gone, and they still hadn't heard about Alexis.

Sam couldn't process what he was hearing, not now. He needed to know if Alexis was still alive, if his wife was still alive. "L-lex?"

"Alexis is still in surgery, I checked. Someone should be out to update you on her soon."

Temporary relief washes over Sam, at least she was still alive. He had that to hold onto when everything else was falling apart. But he had to ask, "The baby?"

"I'm sorry." the doctor, Dr. Wilson, says sympathetically.

That was it. Sam couldn't deal with it, any of it. He collapses down in a chair, Dean doing the same right next to him. His mother-in-law - gone. His sister-in-law - gone. His son or daughter - gone. And he had no idea if his wife would be alive for much longer.

Just as Sam does, Dean collapses into a chair. He couldn't think straight. He couldn't process everything that had just happened in the past two hours. So he sits blankly staring at the floor, unable to speak to his brother. He wouldn't know what to say if he tried.

Sam felt entirely helpless. He wanted to do something, anything, but he couldn't. He couldn't even move. There wasn't a thing he could do that would help Alexis or bring Ellen, Jo, or the baby back. They were all gone, and for all he knew, Alexis could be gone too by the end of the day. So he sits with his head in his hands, trying to keep it together.

After another two hours of constant worrying and waiting, two doctors walk out, Dr. Wilson and another, and head over to them.

"Mr. Winchester?" the female doctor, Dr. Finn, asks. She appeared to be the superior doctor, the lead.

Sam stands up immediately, pulling Dean up with him. "Yes?"

"I'm Dr. Finn, I was the lead doctor in your wife's surgery." she begins, her face completely blank of emotion and composed.

"And?" Sam says, praying that she would say that Alexis was okay, she was out of surgery and would live. He wasn't sure he could take anymore bad news.

"And your wife is out of surgery. But I'm afraid that with the gravity of the trauma, she has slipped into a coma."

_A coma. She's- she's in a coma. _Sam felt like he'd been dealt a blow to the gut. He didn't know how to deal with that, what to say, what to ask, or even how to feel.

"Will she wake up?" Dean asks, seeing that Sam couldn't speak. Alexis had to wake up. She had to be okay. She just had to.

"It's difficult to say. She suffered serious internal trauma both to her body and her brain. We did our part in surgery, and now, it's up to her. Ideally, with the help of medicine, her body and brain should both begin to recover and she should wake up. But I'm afraid that with cases like hers, though, it can often go either way." Dr. Finn explains.

"E-either way? What are her chances?" Dean questions, knowing that Sam would ask if he could.

"Again, it's difficult to say as every patient is unique, but typically, with cases similar to Alexis', she has about a 40% chance of waking up."

That was the final blow. Sam couldn't keep it together anymore. He begins to collapse, and he would've fallen had Dean not caught him and held him up.

Dean could barely keep it together, and if his little brother wasn't completely falling apart next to him, he wasn't sure he would be keeping it together at all. But he had to, one of them had to be able to talk, ask questions, and it clearly was not going to be Sam. "Can we see her?"

"Dr. Wilson can show you to her room." Dr. Finn says. Then with a nod, she turns on her heels and walks away.

Dr. Wilson leads them to the elevator silently.

Dean follows, leading Sam with him, as he was the only thing keeping Sam on his feet. "Come on, Sammy. We- we gotta keep it together here, for Alexis. Okay?" he says, struggling to hold back tears.

Sam nods, unable to speak, and follows Dr. Wilson into the elevator. A few minutes later, he and Dean are standing just outside of Alexis' room.

"Someone will be by to check on her often. If anything happens, press the blue button to the side of her bed. And if you need cots, blankets, pillows, anything, ask one of the nurses out here." Dr. Wilson says as he comes to stop in front of Alexis' room.

"Thank you." Dean says, dismissing the doctor.

As soon as Dr. Wilson was out of sight, both brothers step inside, bracing themselves for what they were about to see. Except nothing could've prepared either of them for the sight before them.

Inside was Alexis, surrounded by machines, covered in cuts and bruises, tubes and wires everywhere, and a sling on her right arm. She looked tiny compared to the amount of equipment around her.

"Oh God." Sam whispers, his eyes brimming with tears. He's immediately at one of the chairs by her side. She looked so small, so fragile, and so hurt. He was almost afraid to touch her, like she would break if he did.

Dean's breath catches in his throat when he actually lays eyes on her. She looked nothing like the girl that had walked out of the house twelve hours ago. He had to step closer to even be sure that it was actually her. She looked so much smaller, so much more fragile. He'd never thought of Alexis as fragile, not once, not until today that is.

* * *

The brothers spend the rest of the night in relative silence at her side. Sam had pulled up a chair so that he could rest his head by her side, just below her left hand, and Dean had called for a cot, which he tried to get Sam to use, but ended up using after Sam repeatedly refused to leave Alexis' side.

"Dean, wh-what do we do? Ellen and- oh god, Ellen and Jo are gone and… and… Lex…." Sam says around nine that morning, attempting to truly speak for the first time, thought not quite succeeding.

"I don't- I don't know, Sammy. I think, um, I think one of us should call, um, call Bobby and Arizona, and uh, Adam. Maybe Ryan and Jake too." Dean responds. He'd been trying to think of what to do all night, but all he could seem to do was sit and watch Alexis, thinking maybe he could will her to wake up if he tried hard enough.

"Wait…. Gabriel and Cas. Could- couldn't they do something?" Sam suggests, surprised neither of them had thought of the two angels last night.

"Castiel! Gabriel! Can you get your feathery asses down here? It's Alexis!" Dean shouts, his tone rather loud for being in a hospital.

Gabriel appears first, within mere seconds, much to both brothers' surprise. "What the hell happened?" the archangel asks upon laying eyes on Alexis.

"Car accident." Dean responds.

"Again?" another voice says.

Sam twists his head around to see Castiel standing near the doorway.

"Can either of you help?" the oldest Winchester asks, desperation seeping into every word.

Gabriel and Castiel share a look before both stepping closer to Alexis, each of them reaching out and touching her forehead.

A sullen, rather regretful, look crosses Gabriel's face as he says, "There's too much internal damage. She… she has to wake up on her own. And um, if she does, I can help."

"It's the brain damage. She's hurt, badly, beyond either of our help. I wish I could say different." Castiel adds in, a solemn look on his face.

"Wait, if she wakes up?" Dean says, catching Gabriel's choice of words and uncharacteristic expression on his face.

"She has to wake up." Sam insists, not allowing himself to think about what would happen if she didn't.

Gabe just looks down, a hurt and almost guilty look on his face.

"How did this happen?" Castiel asks, his eyes searching over Alexis. He feels a pang of something he'd grown to know as pain, emotional pain, wash over him. It wasn't until he met the Winchesters and Alexis that he'd ever even known emotions. And now, looking at Alexis, he couldn't help but feel them. He longed to be able to help her, to help all of them, but he couldn't.

Dean slowly explains what they knew, choking on every other word.

Shortly thereafter, both angels leave.

"I should um, I should call Bobby. And we should eat. I'll go to the cafeteria." Dean says, standing up and heading towards the doorway. Once he's at the end of the hallway, he pulls out his phone.

"Dean?" Bobby answers.

"Hey Bobby." Dean responds, trying to keep his tone neutral.

Trying but failing as Bobby picks up on it. "What's the matter?"

"Bobby, there's um, there's been an accident."

A wave of fear passes through Bobby as he asks, "What kind of an accident?"

"A bad one, um, a car accident. Bobby, Jo and…. Jo and Ellen didn't make it and uh, Lex is in really bad shape… and- and the baby is gone." Dean says, biting his bottom lip to keep the tears in his eyes from spilling out.

At first the older hunter doesn't say anything. It felt like he'd just been punched in the stomach, repeatedly. He couldn't comprehend what Dean had just told him. How could they be gone? How could Ellen be gone? He'd just seen them all two weeks prior… "Wh-what do you mean bad shape?" he asks, focusing on the only person Dean hadn't said was dead. He had to, he had to focus on Alexis, because if he didn't, he'd never make it to Chicago, which he'd already determined he had to do, for Alexis, for Sam, for Dean, and for himself.

"She's- she's in a coma, Bobby. It's bad, really bad. And the angels, Cas and Gabe, they can't help, not until she wakes up- if she wakes up…. The doctors said she might not wake up. I don't…. I don't know what to do." Dean replies, willing himself not to cry. He couldn't cry, he had to stay strong, for Sam and for Alexis. He wasn't allowed to fall apart.

"Dammit. You- what you do is take care of yourself, okay? Look after yourself and Sam. I'll um, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Dean nods, even though Bobby couldn't see it, and says. "Okay. Thanks, Bobby."

"It's what I'm here for, kid."

After hanging up the phone, Dean heads to the cafeteria. Upon seeing nearly no edible food though, he heads to a McDonalds just down the street.

Once Dean was out of the room, Sam was alone for the first time since they'd gotten to the hospital. He hadn't moved from the chair he was in, not once. He hadn't left her side, as he was unable to tear himself away from her. If he could see her, watch her chest rise and fall, he could know she was alive. He was barely holding himself together. With Dean out of the room he allows himself to really bring his eyes to Alexis, to her face. As he does, as his eyes take in the bruises and scrapes on her neck and face, he has to fight back tears. He'd never seen her like this, never this bad, and he'd never been unable to do anything about it. The fact that she was hurt, so badly hurt, hurt him, but the fact that he couldn't help her, he couldn't fix anything, made it hurt even more. Sam felt entirely helpless just sitting there. He wanted to do something, anything, but he couldn't. All he could do was sit and wait.

With a deep breath, he attempts to speak. "This can't be real… God, you're supposed to be here. You're supposed to be safe. Not- not lying in a coma in a hospital bed. I need you here. You can't- you can't just leave me, not like this. You're my wife. Wife. I never ever thought I'd be able to say that, but you are. And I need you to wake up... Because I don't know how to live a life without you anymore and I don't want to have to find out…. Dammit, this isn't supposed to be like this. This wasn't supposed to happen." By the time he finishes a few tears were dripping off his cheeks and onto his shirt. He couldn't hold them back. His whole world was falling apart right before his very eyes. "You just have to wake up, Lex…"

Twenty minutes later Dean walks back into the room with food and drinks for he and Sam. "There was nothing edible in the cafeteria so I went to McDonalds." he says as he walks back into the room, finding Sam in the same spot he'd been in when he left.

"Not hungry." Sam mumbles in response.

"You gotta eat, Sammy." Dean responds.

Sam just shakes his head, unwilling to take his attention off Alexis and unwilling to eat. He truly wasn't hungry.

"Sam-"

"Dean, just don't." Sam says, cutting his brother off.

"Fine, but you're eating these eventually."

An hour later Dean decides he should call Arizona, Adam, Ryan, and Jake. He didn't know Ryan or Jake too well, Sam knew them a little better, but there was no way Sam was going to be able to make a phone call and explain what had happened.

Both brothers spend that night in the hospital room, neither of them getting much sleep.

Around one Sam mutters, "I should've told her I loved her."

Dean, who was half asleep, asks, "What?"

Sam hadn't meant for Dean to hear him. He'd just been replaying the last conversation he'd had with Alexis in his head and was now beating himself up for not ending it by telling her he loved her. Instead he'd said he'd see her soon. "When- when I talked to her on the phone last I should've told her I loved her… what if I don't get to tell her that again? I- I should've said it."

"Sammy, don't do that to yourself. She knows you love her. You know that. And you will get to tell her again. She's going to wake up." Dean says, doing his best to sound convincing.

"What if she doesn't? This is bad, Dean, really bad." the younger Winchester says, closing his eyes in order to will back tears.

"She will. She's Lex. She's strong. She'll wake up."

Sam just shakes his head and turns his attention back to Alexis.

* * *

The next day Bobby, Adam, and Arizona arrive. For the next week, they're all in and out of the hospital. Arizona leaves, saying she had to get back to Ellie and the roadhouse, and Adam also leaves the next day, as he couldn't bear to sit around anymore and wait. He felt entirely helpless and he needed to get out, do something.

Bobby stuck around for another week and intended to stay longer, until Alexis woke up, but he was called for something urgent that he needed to attend to. He did promise to return as soon as he could though.

So thirteen days after the accident, it was once again just Sam and Dean in the hospital room, leaving them to spend the day just like they'd spent the past thirteen. Every day since the accident had been spent at the hospital, every day they were waiting for her to wake up, and every day that never happened.

Dean had only left a handful of times, either to bring a change of clothes for Sam, to shower, or to get food. And out of the four hunters, they'd only been able to get Sam to leave once. It had involved Bobby threatening to drag his ass out if he didn't. Even then, Sam was gone less than four hours. He'd barely left Alexis' side since the minute they'd gotten into the room the night of the accident.

That day was awful for Sam. Going back into that apartment after a week of being in the hospital with Alexis nearly destroyed him. He'd gone alone, insisting that that was the only way he would leave at all.

**-Flashback to the day Sam went back to the apartment-**

As soon as he walks in the door he begins to realize what his life could be like if she never woke up. Every inch of that apartment reminded him of her. Sam shakes his head and tries to push Alexis from his mind, as if that was possible. He was there because Bobby threatened to drag him out of the hospital himself if Sam wouldn't leave on his own.

He walks into the kitchen and nearly breaks down in tears when he sees one of their wedding pictures on the fridge. It was one with Alexis and Jo standing in front of Sam and Dean, all of them with their backs to the lake. Alexis had this huge smile on her face and Jo had a very similar one. He opens the fridge door just to get the picture out of his face, it hurt to even look at it, but when he spots the half empty case of beer he pulls one out. "Guess I can drink now." Sam mutters, popping the cap on the beer and taking a swig.

Then, as if to further torture himself, he walks into their bedroom, beer in hand. That's when the fear that he was really losing her sets in. The room felt so lifeless and empty. He decides to head to the room in which he felt the closest to her, though it wasn't even a real room. It was her closet. Alexis' closet is a space that is so uniquely her. Just about every time Sam had to go through it to get to the bathroom he'd notice something new, some little thing she had hidden away in there.

Once inside he moves to pull out one of her favorite hoodies, one she'd stolen from him, and brings the sleeve to his nose. He felt like he was slowly losing her already, almost forgetting the way she smelled. He takes a final swig of beer, downing the rest of the bottle, and goes to remove the hoodie from the hanger. As he pulls the hoodie down and steps back, something falls onto the floor. When Sam looks down, he finds a bag of old baby clothes that Ellen had brought them. And just as easily as the bag had fallen, Sam falls apart. He sinks to the floor, dropping his now empty beer bottle onto the carpet beside him. Tears begin to flow freely and he lets them, knowing there was no use in trying to stop himself from crying. He ends up falling asleep there on the closet floor with tear-streaked cheeks, using the hoodie as a pillow.

When he wakes up nearly two hours later he feels like the apartment is suffocating him, he had to get out of there. Sam quickly gets up, leaving both the beer bottle and the hoodie on the floor, and heads out of the apartment. Twenty minutes after that, he was walking back into Alexis' hospital room.

**-End of flashback-**

* * *

In the past day or two there had finally been some visible improvements, prompting the doctors to run some more tests.

Sam was incredibly anxious for the results. It sounded like she was doing better, she looked a little better, and so he was hoping that the test results would indicate that she should wake up soon. They had to. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take this waiting.

"Sammy, you need to get out of here for a bit. Go now, go home and shower, take a nap, and then come back." Dean says, pulling Sam from his thoughts. With every passing day that Alexis did not wake up, Dean was growing increasingly concerned about his little brother. It was clear that Sam was hanging by a thread, and that thread was Alexis, the hope that she would wake up.

"No. I can't." Sam responds, attempting to wave Dean off. He couldn't go back to the apartment again, not without Alexis.

"You haven't left this hospital more than once since the accident, Sam. You need to. Go now while they're running tests on Lex. The results won't be back for hours." Dean insists.

"She needs me here."

"You're right, she'll need you here when she wakes up. She'll need you, Sam, alive and rested. So go home, sleep, eat, shower, and then come back. I'll sit here with her when they bring her back and I promise you that if something should change, I'll call. Now go." Dean replies, tossing the keys to the Impala into his brother's lap.

Sam looks up, prepared to resist further, but when he catches the look in Dean's eye he sees that his brother is hell-bent on getting him to leave for a while, so he sighs and says, "Fine. I'll be back in a few hours. But if the results of the tests are back before I am, you call me right away. And if something changes with her, you call me."

"I already said I would and I will. Now go, get some rest, and maybe bring her back some of her clothes and a blanket she likes. You and I both know how much she hates hospitals and when she wakes up, she'll probably have to spend a few nights here. Might as well make her comfortable."

Sam nods and heads out the door, not entirely happy about being forced to leave the hospital.

Fifteen minutes later, Alexis is brought back into the room, still comatose. Seeing her like that hurt Dean so much. He couldn't stand it. He was sad but he was also pissed off, mainly at himself. So after three hours of thinking and mulling the last true conversation he'd had with her over and over in his head, he decides to actually try and speak to Alexis for the first time, even if she couldn't hear him.

"God Lex, I'm so sorry. This never should've happened… I should've listened to you when you told me it was back, that feeling was back, because you were right. Not 24 hours later you were in a car accident. And now Ellen is gone, Jo is gone, and the baby is gone. And I'm scared as hell that you're going to be gone too... You can't be gone, you can't. So you gotta wake up, okay? Because both Sammy and I, we need you, so much more than you may think." Dean begins, pausing to will back tears threatening to spill out.

"And I know that… I know that you may not want to wake up, because your family is gone and you told me once that if your family was gone, you weren't sure you'd want to live, remember? Back when that dick Zachariah sent us to 2014? The universe where um, where you'd killed yourself because your family had died. But Lex, Sam and I are your family too and we're still here. Bobby is still here, Adam is still here, Ryan, Jake, Arizona, Ellie, we're all still here. And we all still need you here. Please… just wake up." the oldest Winchester finishes, wiping away a tear or two.

He sits and looks at her, hoping for any sign. Any movement. Something. And nothing happens, not for a few minutes, so he puts his head down on the side of the bed. Then he hears beeping. Something was wrong, very wrong. Before he could even react, a team of nurses and doctors were rushing into the room with a crash cart and he was being pushed off to the side.

Alexis was crashing, dying, right before his very eyes and he couldn't do anything but watch it happen. The tears he'd been holding back were flowing freely down his face now. He was standing in the corner, watching helplessly as they continued to charge paddles and attempt revive her. But she was still crashing and the beeping seemed to keep getting louder.

"Dammit. One more time. Charge to 350." Dr. Wilson calls out.

And they charge again, one last attempt to bring Alexis back. If it didn't work, she'd be gone. It was like slow motion, watching them charge her again. Dean's eyes were glued to the screen, waiting for her heart rate to go back up, to stop flat lining.

And it does. It goes back up. She was alive.

Dr. Wilson sighs with relief and the crash cart is taken out of the room.

Dean steps closer, intending to take hold of her hand and not let it go. But when he does, he nearly jumps ten feet backwards. He wasn't expecting to find Alexis staring back at him.

"She's awake. Welcome back, Mrs. Winchester. You gave us quite a scare." Dr. Wilson says, a soft smile on his face.

But Alexis doesn't look happy. She looks frightened and disoriented.

"Lex?" Dean calls out, utter disbelief in his voice.

She looks up at him, very much resembling a toddler who'd lost their mother in the department store. Upon locking eyes with Dean she feels a bit better, but nothing felt good. She knew what had happened, she knew right away that she was it. She was the only survivor. Her mother was gone, her sister was gone, and her baby was gone. She could feel it. And it didn't feel good.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you awake." Dean says, taking a seat next to her bed. He was smiling now. He couldn't stop smiling. His eyes were also glued to her, watching her every move.

"Alexis, do you know what happened?" Dr. Wilson asks.

She nods. Something in her was keeping her from speaking. It wasn't that she couldn't, she was pretty sure she could, but she didn't want to. Silence was a coping mechanism she'd developed when she was younger. Like after her brother died, not only did she stop eating, she stopped speaking almost entirely. Her mother had taken her to a doctor and they were told that it was selective mutism and she was using it as a coping mechanism. At first, her mom and sister didn't understand it, but they got used to it. She went maybe two weeks in almost complete silence then. She still remembers, clear as day, the look Jo gave her when she finally spoke. Jo was so shocked, and then she hugged her and started crying. To Alexis, silence seemed like the way to cope for now. She had to process everything first, at least to some extent. She didn't know what to say so she goes with not saying anything.

"Do you know where you are?"

She nods again.

"Why isn't she talking?" Dean asks the doctor, growing concerned again. She hadn't said anything yet and that worried him.

"Alexis? Can you speak?" Dr. Wilson asks, his tone taking on some concern.

This time Alexis averts her eyes, easily falling into her old routine of silence. _I can't speak, not now. I wouldn't know what to say. My whole family is gone…. I need to process that first. And I need to get the hell out of this hospital, and I need to see Sam, _she thinks to herself. She may not be speaking, but her mind was racing.

"Mr. Winchester, can I speak with you outside? Lea, will you run the basic tests on her?" Dr. Wilson says.

The nurse, Lea, nods and moves to begin basic tests.

Dean glances between Alexis and the doctor, not entirely wanting to leave the room. Reluctantly though, he does.

"Why isn't she talking? Can she talk? Did something happen?" Dean demands rapidly once they were outside of Alexis' room.

"Physically she should be able to speak. Her vocal cords were not impacted whatsoever in the accident. With a trauma like this, we like to look into a patient's history. If they've had other traumatic incidents, things like that. So when we found that Alexis had many we requested access to her psychological history. It appears that she developed selective mutism as a coping mechanism when she was much younger, after the death of her brother it seems. That seems to be the case right now also. It's not unheard of, but it isn't very common." Dr. Wilson explains.

"So she can speak but is choosing not to?" Dean asks, glancing in at Alexis. He was trying to comprehend what the doctor was saying but his mind was still on Alexis.

"Precisely. Selective mutism is typically found in children, sometimes it's simply developed as an anxiety disorder, other times it's after a trauma, which appears to be the case with Alexis, after her brother's death and now."

"Can anything be done? I mean, what do I do? What do I tell Sam?"

"Leave her be. Just talk to her like normal, say anything you normally would as if she would respond. If you treat her like you've always treated her and give her time to process, she should return to speaking when she feels she is ready. Whatever you do, don't push. That tends to only make it worse."

Dean nods, trying to take in everything he'd just been told.

"Other than that, all her tests came back fine and she's healing well. There appears to be no permanent brain damage. She should be able to be released in a few days. So go back in there, be with her. She's suffered a huge loss and gone through an immense trauma, she's going to need both you and your brother for support." Dr. Wilson says and then walks away.

He nods again and takes a deep breath before heading back into the room just as the nurse was exiting. "You are not allowed to do that ever again, you hear me? You scared the hell out of us, Lex." Dean says, doing his best to treat her like normal, or at least how he would if she would respond to him.

It was weird, not getting a response from her. Silence was not something he was used to with Alexis, not at all.

"So the doctor says you have selective mutism or something, which means you're not going to talk. And I get that, I do, so I'm not going to push you, okay? You talk when you're ready." the older Winchester says. It was definitely going to be an adjustment, having one-sided conversations with her. But he truly did understand it. She'd just lost her only other living blood relatives and her baby, not to mention gone through a horrible trauma.

Alexis nods and gives him a look that conveyed her thanks, or at least she hoped it did.

"Do you want me to call Sam? I sent him home earlier to get some rest. He's been here almost every second of every day for the past thirteen days, Lex. He left once, for like two hours, last week, but that's because Bobby threatened to physically drag him out. But other than that, he almost never left your side. He's going to be pissed at me for making him leave now that you're awake."

She nods again, taking in all the emotion behind Dean's eyes. She could see how beyond scared he was, or at least had been. It was very clear how worried he had been, and still was. He also clearly hadn't gotten much sleep. In all honesty, he looked like crap. So with that said, she was a little afraid to see how Sam was. _And he said thirteen days. Thirteen fucking days. Poor Sam…_

"Okay. I'll be back in a minute. Do you want me to get you anything? Or I could have Sam pick something up? Maybe a milkshake?"

Yet again, Alexis nods. It was something she was going to be doing a lot of.

"Vanilla milkshake?"

Another nod.

Dean nods in return and walks out of the room as he's pulling his phone out.

As soon as Dean is in the hall, he dials Sam.

Sam answers before the phone could even ring twice. "Dean? What happened? Is something wrong?"

"She's awake."

Sam couldn't believe what he'd just heard. She was awake. Alexis was awake. Relief washes over his body as he says, "I'm coming now."

"Wait Sammy-"

"What? She's okay, isn't she?" Sam says, catching the tone in his brother's voice.

"Physically, yes. But uh, Sammy, she's not talking. Selective mutism or something. It's going to take some time, but we gotta go with it. And she wants a vanilla milkshake." Dean explains.

"N-not talking? At all?" Sam asks, not sure what he should say. He didn't know how to react. He'd heard of selective mutism before but he'd never known anyone who had it. He'd known Alexis to get silent sometimes, typically after a fight, if she was avoiding something, or if she had something big to process. And that's when it clicks with him. What she's been through, the accident and then losing her only living family, blood related that is, and her baby, it made perfect sense for her to go completely silent. It was a way she dealt with things, specifically big things. It was going to be hard as hell to not hear her voice, but he was going to have to get used to it and let her talk on her own time.

"Complete silence. But she's awake, Sammy, she's awake. Do you want me to call for Cas or wait till you get here?"

"Call him. I'll be there soon, I'm already in the car." the younger Winchester brother responds, turning the keys in the ignition. His heart had practically leapt out of his chest when Dean had said she was awake. He had to get to the hospital as soon as he could.

As soon as Dean's out of the room, Alexis lets her face fall completely. She could feel the darkness creeping up on her already and it felt heavier this time, darker than ever before. She almost wished she hadn't woken up, almost. Now she had to find a way to live without her sister, without her mother, and without her baby. She'd lost just about everything in one fell swoop. And the more she thought about that, the darker it got. She was never going to hear her sister's voice again, her mother was never going to be a grandmother, and she and Sam weren't going to have a son or daughter come September. At the moment, all she wanted was to lay eyes on Sam and to get out of the hospital as soon as she possibly could. She decides to test if she could walk on her own. The thought of having been lying there entirely still for thirteen whole days was driving her nuts.

Dean rounds the corner into Alexis' room just as she's attempting to get out of bed. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, where do you think you're going?" he says, immediately at her side, stopping her from moving to a standing position.

Alexis just gives him a dark look, wishing she'd tried to get out of bed just a minute earlier.

"I get that you want to get out of here, I do, and I'm going to call Cas to see that that happens soon, but you have to stay in bed, Lex." Dean says.

Without a sound, she swings her legs back into the bed and slumps back into it.

"Sam's on his way." Dean announces. He then turns and walks over to the door, which he shuts, and then draws the drapes on the window that looked into the hallway. After that was done, he calls out, "Castiel! We need you down here."

Not a minute later Castiel is standing in the center of the room, facing Dean. "What is it?" the angel asks.

Dean nods, indicating Castiel turn to the bed behind him.

Cas turns and his eyes widen slightly when he sees Alexis is awake. "You're awake."

Alexis nods.

Castiel moves so that he's standing at the side of her bed. "How do you feel?"

Alexis remains silent.

"Can you speak?" the angel asks, tilting his head slightly in confusion. She hadn't made a single sound yet.

"She can, she just isn't." Dean says.

"I- I don't understand. May I?" Castiel questions, his hand hovering before Alexis' head.

She nods, giving the angel permission to read her thoughts.

Cas brings his hand to Alexis' forehead and shuts his eyes as he allows himself to read Alexis' mind and feel what she was feeling. He almost recoils at the feeling. He'd never felt something so dark, so painful. He'd just heard of it, humans being encompassed by darkness, but never experienced that feeling himself. He removes his hand and says, "I see."

"Can you heal her?" the oldest Winchester questions.

"I shouldn't. Not here. She should be out of here first."

"Then can you get us out of here? Without making all the doctors and nurses think you stole a patient?" Dean says.

"I can alter the situation. Make it appear she was released and have that be believed by the doctors and staff." the angel explains.

"Well then do that and get us out of here. I'll call Sammy and have him meet us back at the apartment."

Cas nods and disappears.

Dean pulls out his phone and dials Sam again, this time not taking the chance of stepping out of the room.

"What's wrong?" Sam answers after the first ring. He was definitely worried and Dean calling again only amplified it.

"Nothing, nothing new that is. Don't come here, okay? Go back to the apartment." Dean responds.

"What? No! I need to see her, Dean."

"I know you do, believe me I think she needs to see you too, but Cas came and he's going to get us out of here before he heals her. So just meet us back at the apartment, okay?" the older Winchester says.

Sam sighs and says, "Fine. I just got the milkshake, I'll turn around and head back."

"We'll be there, all of us." Dean responds and then hangs up.

Castiel returns a minute later, announcing that he was done and they could leave.

Before Alexis could do more than blink, she was in Castiel's arms and being placed on her bed in her room in her apartment. That provided some temporary relief, being out of the hospital.

Cas then heals her, starting with her right arm and working his way around. "I was able to heal you the rest of the way, but you will need to rest a lot. You will also be weak and need to slowly regain your strength." the angel says once finished.

Alexis nods, not too thrilled that she was going to be practically on bed rest for a bit. She also knew she was going to have next to no alone time for a while. There was no way either Winchester brother was going to leave her alone, not after everything that's happened and her track record with grief. She did, however, feel tired. Her eyes were heavy and she was struggling to keep them open, so she lets herself drift off into sleep.

* * *

_A/N: This chapter is probably one of the saddest ones I've written and I don't know what this says about me, but the sadder ones seem to be my favorite. I've had this planned out pretty much since I decided not to kill Ellen and Jo at the time the show kills them off. I toyed with keeping Jo alive but couldn't justify it because I could't see fitting her into season six and so on. Selective mutism is not something I have personal experience with but it's something I feel makes sense for Alexis and is something I wanted to add in, so hopefully I do it justice. _

_I do plan to get into season six soon. Obviously there will have to be changes and omissions as Dean hasn't spent the year with Lisa and Ben and there is no Soulless!Sam. I hope there will be another chapter before Christmas, but if there is not, I hope those of you that celebrate Christmas have a very lovely one. If you can, let me know what you think of the chapter. I really do love hearing feedback from you (:_


	44. Say Something

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 44: Say Something**

Sam didn't quite know what to expect, all he knew was that he had to get home. It still felt weird to him to have a place to call home, and in the past few weeks it hadn't felt like home, but right now, that's the only place he wanted to be.

Not fifteen minutes later he's walking through the door of the apartment, milkshake in hand.

"Sammy?" Dean calls out, having heard the door from the living room.

"Dean! Where is she?" Sam responds, quickly making his way into the living room.

"In her, well your, room. She was sleeping though. But Sammy, hang on a sec."

Sam stops and turns to face his brother. "What?"

"Sam, it's Lex but it's not Lex. Not the one we're used to. We haven't seen this with her before, and that's saying a lot, because all three have us have gone through some serious shit. But we didn't know her when she lost her dad, her brother, or Zac. This is a lot, especially for her. And we don't really have anyone who did know her back then to help us. We can't rely on Ellen for help… because she's not here. We have to deal with this, figure out how to help her…. So you have to be prepared for what you're going to get when you walk in there. Silence and distance. It's like she's not even there." Dean explains. He was beyond worried about Alexis, he hadn't stopped worrying about her since the night of the accident, but he was also worried about how his brother was going to take this.

Sam remains silent for a minute, not really sure what to say. He'd been trying to think of what to expect, but he couldn't. He still needed to see her though, and nothing that anyone could say could change that. He finally nods and says, "I still need to see her."

Dean nods in response and watches as his brother heads over to the bedroom door.

Sam takes a breath before walking in, doing his best to prepare himself. When he opens the door and steps through, he finds Alexis sitting up in bed just staring off, a far away look in her eyes. Part of him wants to smile and hug her because she was awake, but her entire body language and expression keeps him from doing so. "Lex?"

She turns to face him, a blank and distant expression on her face, one like the mask he used to see a lot when he was just getting to know her, except this one was worse, deeper almost, harder. "I uh, I brought you your milkshake." he says, fumbling for words. He didn't know what to say. When he'd pictured her waking up, he hadn't imagined this scenario.

Sam slowly walks over to the bed, cautiously almost. Everything about the way she was carrying herself at the moment told him he could very easily upset her or make her uncomfortable, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Alexis watches Sam, not feeling much of anything but pain. There was a tiny part of her somewhere deep inside that wanted to leap out of bed and into Sam's arms and pretend everything was okay because he was there, but it wasn't, and every other part of her wanted to sit in silence, showing no emotion.

Sam takes a seat at the very edge of the bed, near her feet, and holds the milkshake out to her.

Alexis just stares at it, not really sure she wanted it. She wasn't hungry, she wasn't really anything but hurt.

"Lex, you need to drink or eat something. I know you probably aren't hungry, believe me, I know. But you need to drink this, or let me get you something else. Please." he says, quickly coming to the realization that he was going to have to really watch her now. Not just to be sure she was okay physically, but to be sure she was eating, and to be sure she wouldn't try anything. That part really scared him. The fact that he couldn't convince himself that she wouldn't hurt herself, that there was reasonable doubt in his mind.

She reaches out and slowly takes the milkshake from Sam, though she really didn't want it. She takes a small sip and then sets it down on her bedside table.

"Look, I don't know what to do here. I really don't. These past two weeks have been some of the hardest weeks of my life. I lost so much, and I almost lost you too. But I know you've lost more, I know I couldn't possibly understand what's going through your head right now. What I do understand is your silence, okay? I get it, I really do, so I'm not going to push you. You need time. We all do. Dean- Dean and I have had thirteen days, you haven't. But I need you to know that I am here. I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me, whether you like it or not. Okay?"

Alexis nods.

"Okay. Well uh, you should probably finish that milkshake and get some rest. I'll be just outside."

As soon as Sam's out the door, Alexis let's her face fall entirely. In the short amount of time she'd been awake, the darkness and weight of her loss had really begun to set in. Her mother was gone, her sister was gone, and her baby was gone. All ripped away from her in a day. She knew she was going to have to deal with it, and she was trying, but it was going to be one of hardest things she'd ever done.

That night, Sam sleeps on the couch. It wasn't like he wanted to, but he knew Alexis didn't want him next to her. She didn't have to communicate it through words, her body language told him that. He could've taken another bed, Dean even offered to take the couch, but he wanted to be near Alexis. Just in case.

The next week is much of the same. Not a sound from Alexis. Sam and Dean practically became babysitters, at least Alexis felt like they did. She was rarely left alone. It was like they didn't trust her with her own life, or at least that's how she saw it.

Sam took to making sure she ate enough, making sure she was recovering well, and that she was resting. The more time that passes, the more he wanted to hear her voice, and it was getting harder and harder to not push her. He so badly needed to hear her say something, anything.

Dean found himself split between watching Alexis and watching his brother. He could see it really taking a toll on Sam. With every passing day of silence from Alexis, Dean grew increasingly concerned. They couldn't keep this up much longer. Not without one of them snapping. His main concern, though, was that what they'd been warned of when he and Alexis were sent to 2014 would come true. In that future, Alexis had killed herself shortly after her family died. Though the circumstances were different, Dean still feared it would happen. Which is why he made sure there was almost always someone in the same room as her.

* * *

**-May 2nd, 2011-**

Sam wakes up on the couch yet again, he'd slept there every day since Alexis got back from the hospital. Today, May 2nd, his 28th birthday, made it 24 days, almost a month, since he'd even heard her voice. Waking up, he almost felt like his reality couldn't be real. Last year on his birthday he and Alexis had gotten engaged, well a second time. They'd actually gotten the ring and told someone. Now, a year later, Ellen was gone, Jo was gone, Alexis wasn't speaking, and he was sleeping on the couch.

Sam began to go about his day the way he had been for the past few weeks. He made coffee, made some toast for both himself and Alexis, made sure she ate it all, then made sure she was okay and that she didn't need anything.

"Sammy, you doing okay?" Dean asks around noon. He knew that today being his birthday just made things worse.

Sam looks up from his bottle of beer, a pained look in his eyes. "Fucking fantastic, Dean."

"Sam-"

"No, Dean. You don't get it. You can't, and I hope to hell you never can. My mother-in-law, the only real mother figure I've ever had, is gone, dead. Jo is dead. My- my daughter or son is dead. And- and my wife, my wife won't let me touch her. I haven't heard her voice in almost a month. She's hurting and she won't let me help." Sam begins, pausing to take another swig of beer. He was cracking, he could tell, he just didn't care enough anymore to stop it. "This day last year we were engaged, Dean. We'd just bought a ring. And now, and now she won't even let me be a husband. It's like she's not even there."

Dean doesn't know what to say, how to respond to that. "Sam-"

"Just don't, Dean." Sam responds harshly.

Dean nods and mumbles something about heading out for a while.

A few hours later, around three, Sam walks in to check on Alexis again. He intended to just ask her if she needed anything, how she was doing, but that's not what comes out. "Lex?"

Alexis was sitting on the bed, blankly staring at the TV. In the time since she'd woken up, she'd begun to process her loss. Now she mostly just felt numb, like her life was no longer her life. She was just watching days go by, completely detached. A small part of her was aware of how unfair this was to Sam, her silence, her complete detachment. He'd lost a lot too. But she couldn't bring herself to speak, to utter a single word. She'd tried a few times, but nothing would come out. When she hears Sam walk in, she turns her head slightly, shifting her attention to him.

"Do you need anything?"

She shakes her head. What she needed was to be able to erase the past month, to go back, but that wasn't something Sam could do. It wasn't something anyone could do.

"Dammit, why can't you just talk to me?" Sam says, finally losing it. He'd bitten his tongue every day since she'd been awake, every day that she went on in silence. Today was different. Today he couldn't hold it in any longer. "It's almost been a month, Lex. A month since I've heard your voice. And- and God, today is my birthday. My birthday. Last year we were ring shopping and now- now we're not even sleeping in the same bed. You won't even let me touch you." he pauses for a moment before continuing again. "I know, I know that your loss is so much greater than mine, but I did lose a lot too. I lost Ellen and Jo too. I… I lost our child too. And I'm losing you, I can't lose you. I need you to speak. Scream, cry, yell, anything. Just… just say something."

When he looks Alexis in the eye again and sees no change, he turns to head out the door. Something stops him in his tracks before he'd taken two steps.

"I'm sorry." Alexis says quietly.

Sam turns, almost positive he was hearing things. "Wh-what?"

"I'm sorry." she repeats as a tear runs down her cheek, the first one since before the accident.

Sam can't help but smile as tears start to form in his eyes. Within seconds he's at her side and pulling her into his lap.

At Sam's touch Alexis lets any composure she had left crumble. She leans to the side, resting her head on his chest, and lets her tears flow freely.

Sam wraps his arms around her as tightly as he can and rests his chin on her head. Her entire body was trembling against him and he could feel his body beginning to shake as well as tears streamed down his face.

The two of them sit there for a few minutes, neither of them wanting to move from their current position.

As her sobs come to a stop and her tears dry up, Alexis tilts her head upwards, truly making eye contact with Sam in what felt like forever. All she could seem to say was, "I'm sorry."

Sam presses a lingering kiss to her forehead, sweeping a strand of hair out of her face. "That's all you've said. No more apologizing, okay?"

She nods, though she wasn't really sure what else she could say. Sorry was all she had.

"Why don't um, why don't we get you out of the house? You could use some air, Lex. We both could." Sam suggests. She hadn't left the house since the day she came back from the hospital. He knew some fresh air would do her good. He could still see hesitance and pain in her face, and he had yet to get more than the same two words out of her. It was clear to him that things were going to take time to even get her back to talking regularly.

With the look she gives him in response, Sam adds, "We could go to Flat Top Grill."

Alexis was hesitant but the pleading look in Sam's eyes gets her to agree. She nods and says, "I um, I should shower first."

She then stands up and walks into her closet, headed towards the bathroom. Once inside, she shuts the door and comes to stop in front of the sink, bracing herself on the marble counter around it. She'd spoken, she'd finally said something, but now she didn't know what to do, where to go from here. She couldn't just snap back to normal, nothing would ever be the same again, it couldn't. She was going to have to figure out a new normal, and something in her told her that it involved hunting. She'd been thinking about it the past few days, as being in the apartment increasingly began making her uncomfortable. She needed to get back into hunting, to have something else to occupy her mind, something else to focus on, to work towards. She feared what would happen if she remained here much longer. She needed to move on with her life, and she wanted to start by getting back into hunting.

With that resolved, Alexis walks over to the small closet and pulls out a towel, draping it over one of the towel rods near the shower. As she's taking off her clothes, she realizes she didn't really want to be alone at the moment. So, now only in her underwear and tank top, she walks out towards the bedroom, leaning out from behind the closet door. "Sam?"

He immediately looks up, not used to hearing her voice again just yet.

"Could you um- could you shower with me?" she asks quietly, not trusting her voice to speak loudly, clearly.

"You want me to?" Sam asks, wanting to be sure. For weeks she wouldn't let him touch her, and now she was asking him to shower with her.

Alexis nods.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. Besides, my um, shoulder still kinda hurts… it's a little hard to wash my hair."

Sam nods and says, "Okay." He stands up and follows her into the bathroom, not really sure what he should say. He was on very thin ice at the moment and he felt like he had to pick and choose his words very carefully. He decides to try and say something, "Lex-"

Alexis cuts him off though, not letting him say more than her name. "Can we not talk right now? Please? I just… I just need you to be here." She was really trying, she was, and she knew getting back into some sense of normalcy with Sam was the best first step she could make.

"Okay." He then watches as she walks over towards where her sweatshirt and sweatpants were on the floor. Seeing her without all the heavy clothes on made him realize how much smaller she looked, how much weight she truly had lost.

Alexis pulls off her shirt, looking at herself in only her underwear for the first time since the accident. She'd lost some muscle in both her arms and legs, but her eyes were drawn to her stomach. She'd lost the most weight there, she could feel it physically and emotionally. Without having to weigh herself, she could tell she was at least marginally underweight. With the time she spent in a coma in the hospital and then how poorly she'd been eating the past two weeks, she didn't really expect anything else. She felt tiny, empty, and weak. She hated it. "Dammit." she mumbles, trying to keep herself from crying.

Sam realizes exactly what she was doing, what was going through her head, and he quickly walks over to her, stopping just behind her.

A tear falls down her cheek as she brings a hand to her stomach. "I- I was supposed to protect h-him or her… and I couldn't. I couldn't even do that... I told you I'd be an awful mother. Apparently the universe agrees." she says, her voice breaking at the end.

Sam places his hands on her shoulders, spinning her around so that she was facing him. "Don't do this to yourself, Lex. You know none of this is your fault." He hated this, he hated not being able to do anything. He thought it would be better once she started talking again, but it wasn't. It was worse.

"I should've died too…"

"No. No. Don't even say that." he says, his voice firm but pained. He had a feeling she'd been thinking that, but hearing her say it made it all the more real, all the more painful.

"It's not fair." she says as more tears begin to fall.

Sam pulls her to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "I know it's not. I know." He holds her against him for a few minutes, rubbing small circles against her back, trying to calm her down. Then he pulls her back slightly, his hands on her arms. "We're going to get through this, Lex, we are. It's not going to be easy, but we are. Together."

Alexis shakes her head. "How?"

"I- I don't know, but we'll figure it out. We always do."

"I don't know how. Grief is something I know well, but this… this is different. I feel empty, Sam, empty and weak. I don't know how to get past this."

"We'll get past this. We will." Sam says, his words laced with determination. "For now, we take one thing at a time, okay?"

Alexis nods, stepping back from Sam. She then walks over to the shower and turns the water on. She then watches as Sam pulls his shirt over his head and slips out of the sweatpants he was wearing. As he was kicking off his underwear, she unclasps her bra and pulls off her underwear as well, stepping into the shower first.

Sam walks over and steps into the shower as well, standing so that the two of them were face to face.

"No talking. Just- just help me with my hair, please." Alexis says, turning so that her back was to Sam, her chest to the water.

The two shower in complete silence. Alexis simply relaxing in the comfort of Sam's presence, Sam just glad she was starting to let him back in.

After, the two dry off, change, and head for an early dinner at Flat Top Grill, leaving a note for Dean.

* * *

While they were waiting for their food, Sam breaks the hour long silence, or relative silence. "Lex?"

She looks up at him, a questioning look on her face.

"You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever it is that you're feeling right now, you can tell me. I want you to talk to me, to let me in. You are not alone in this, not at all. You have me, you have Dean, Bobby, Arizona, Adam, Ryan, Jake. We're all here for you, you know that, right? This isn't like other times you've lost people, like Zac, you're not alone."

Alexis bites her bottom lip, trying to figure out what she should say. Part of her knew everything that Sam said was true, she knew that really she wasn't alone, but that doesn't mean she didn't feel like she was. "I don't know how, Sam. I don't even know how I feel, I don't know what to say, I just don't know anything anymore."

"I get it. Our lives, the ones we've spent the last year building, just got ripped right out from under us. I mean, we were happy. We were really and truly happy. We had a life that was actually somewhat normal. And now… now I don't know what we have."

"I don't feel like we have anything. I haven't even felt like I'm alive, Sam. I feel like I'm just watching days go by. If it weren't for the bit of actual physical pain I've been in… I wouldn't know I was even still here. Because it doesn't feel like I am." she replies, struggling to put her thoughts and feelings into coherent sentences.

"Well you are. You're here with me. I can't even begin to imagine what's going on inside your head right now, and I know you probably can't explain it, but I do want to help. I lost Jo and Ellen too, they were my family too. Even though it's not anywhere near the same, both Dean and I share your loss there. You can talk to either of us about it. And… and the baby… that's not something either of us are ever going to get completely over, but I know that to start moving on, I need you, and I think you need me too." Sam responds, feeling tears beginning to fill his eyes.

Alexis nods, taking in what Sam was saying. He was right and she knew he was there for her. She knew that there was next to nothing she could do or say to get him to walk away, and that fact within itself brought her some comfort. She didn't know what she did to deserve someone like Sam, but she knew she'd spend the rest of her life being grateful for him. "I um, I think I want to go back to hunting again." she says after a minute.

At that, Sam locks his eyes on hers, trying to get a read on whatever was going on in her head at the moment, what would've made her say that. "What?" he asks, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

"I can't keep living like this, Sam. I need to get out of that apartment, get away from this life for a while, go back basically."

"This life? The life we started after we got married? Lex, this life is practically our marriage." Sam responds, both confused and a little hurt by what she was saying.

"It doesn't have to be. The only thing that defines a marriage is the two people in it. Not- not the life that surrounds it, if there's a place called home, not anything else. I'm not saying that I want to go back to not being married, not at all. You're my husband and I plan on keeping it that way. But I want to go back to hunting- to traveling around with you and Dean. I need to. Because if I don't get out of this place, this city, soon… I'm- I'm going to die, Sam. And I don't mean that in a dramatic, exaggerating way, I mean it literally." she says, pausing to take a sip of water. This was hard for her. She'd never gotten this emotional, this vulnerable, with anyone before, not even Sam. "Do you know how many times I walked through my closet and saw one of my guns these past few weeks and thought I could just end it? I actually picked one up, b-brought it to my head… but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that to _you_. But if- if I'm here, in that apartment, in this city, much longer… I'm afraid I will." she finishes, her eyes still locked on Sam's.

Sam just stares for a minute, his mouth hanging slightly open, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He had no idea that things had gotten that low for her, that she'd truly thought about… killing herself. He'd feared it, but he never expected her to admit it. "Lex…"

"I need to get out of here, Sam, I need to get back to hunting. I know I can't hunt right now, I know that. But we can go to Bobby's for a few weeks. I can build my strength back up… slowly start training, exercising again. I just need to not be anywhere near here right now, I want to get as far away from this 'normal' life as possible for a while. I'm not saying leave and never come back… never even try this again, I'm saying not right now, not for some time."

"Okay," Sam begins, nodding, "Okay. We can do that. We'll call Bobby tomorrow, okay? But you need to start taking care of yourself again, Lex. You need to be eating properly, because you haven't been, and you definitely need to be getting more sleep. I know you've been out on the terrace almost every night these past two weeks, which means you haven't been sleeping. I just didn't say anything because I didn't want to push you further away."

Before Alexis could respond, the waiter brings their food to the table. Once he sets the food down and walks away, she says, "You do too."

"What?" Sam asks, raising an eyebrow at her as he began to mix up his stir fry.

"I know you haven't been sleeping much either." At the confusion on his face, she adds, "I may have stopped talking but that doesn't mean I stopped paying attention. I know you've been hurting too, Sam, and part of me wanted to help you, part of me knew I was being selfish and unfair to you. So I know you want to help me right now, that that's your focus, but you gotta let me help you too. You're not invincible, no one expects you to be. You're allowed to be hurt too, to be in pain right now too. You don't have to keep that in. You aren't alone either."

Sam swallows hard, not sure what he should say. He hadn't taken into consideration that she'd been paying attention to him at all these past two weeks. Instead of speaking, he just nods.

"Neither of us are okay right now. Maybe I'm worse off, but that doesn't diminish what you're feeling, Sam. I know you're priority the last month has been me, and I know it's probably going to still be me for a bit, but I need you to take care of yourself too, okay? Practice what you preach essentially."

Sam nods and says, "You're right. I guess I just focused so much on you… on you waking up at first, and then on you being okay, that I stopped paying attention to myself."

Alexis can't stop a small smile from forming on her face.

_God I haven't seen that smile in forever_, Sam thinks to himself. He wasn't sure what warranted it though. "Why are you smiling?"

"Because you did the same thing you used to get mad at me for doing. Like- like with Lilith. After you'd killed her, after I'd told you guys what I'd been doing those months that we were apart, you weren't too happy with me. You and Dean have both told me time and time again that I need to look after myself, even when there's something big, like Lilith or the apocalypse. And I would try, but when something takes all your focus… your own well-being can fall in importance. And now… well it's kinda ironic, it happened to you as well."

Sam couldn't help but smile either. Partly because she was smiling, partly because she was actually making sense. It was kinda funny. He chuckles and says, "I guess you're right about that too."

Alexis nods and tears a piece off of her flatbread, her favorite part of eating at Flat Top Grill, and pops it into her mouth.

"Alright, so we'll call Bobby tomorrow and hopefully head out there. You and I will both start looking after ourselves, okay? Because you're right, I haven't necessarily been taking care of myself either. That's something we both need to do if we're going to go back to hunting."

She nods again, glad that they had some kind of plan and glad that she'd be getting away from Chicago for a while. She still loved the city, but it was too much for her for the time being. "Good. Because Sam, I mean it. I do have to get out of here. I can't take much more than another night in that apartment. It's marked by sadness and death. I walk into my closet and my eyes catch on a bag of old baby clothes my mom brought, I walk down the hall and I see the room my mom and Jo had practically made their own… I still see Zac sometimes. I'll come across a picture, see one of the mixtapes he'd made… It's just too much right now."

"I get it, I do. We'll be gone tomorrow. But Lex?" Sam begins, not sure if he should say what he was about to say.

She raises an eyebrow, imploring him to continue,

"I don't want this to be the rest of our lives. I get that you need some time right now and that hunting is what you want to do, but… this life we had going, it was good. I don't want to give that up forever. So whether it's a few months of hunting or a few years, I want you to tell me we'll come back to this some day, try again. It doesn't even have to be here. Just somewhere that we can call home."

"I think we can try again… eventually. Not for a while though. But uh, Sam?"

"What?"

"I don't want you to do this for me if you don't want to. I don't want you to go back to hunting if it's not what you want. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do. I can go by myself, hunt by myself, work things out… by myself. I could." Alexis admits. She didn't want to do it by herself, but she didn't want to drag Sam along with her if he didn't want to go back to hunting.

"No. No. That's not happening. I don't care what we're doing, okay? All I care about is that I'm with you. I cannot lose you too, Lex, I can't." Sam replies immediately. He wasn't exactly ecstatic about going back to hunting full time, but he most definitely wasn't going to let her go hunting on her own.

"Sam-"

He cuts her off, not wanting to hear any talk of them splitting up. "I mean it. It's not happening. Now let's finish eating, it's getting cold."

"I'm not really all that hungry." she responds, glancing at her bowl. She'd eaten about half, she knew she should finish it, but she didn't really feel like it.

"Lex, you've barely eaten half. And I know you haven't had more than two pieces of toast today. Come on, eat."

"Sam-"

"Just eat a little bit more and then we'll go, okay?" he replies. He knew this was going to take a while, getting her back to a life that even resembled normal, at least normal for them. She'd been eating very little the past two weeks, things like toast, yogurt, Jello, and soup. This was the first substantial meal she's had since she'd gotten out of the hospital.

"Fine."

The two finish up their food in relative silence and twenty minutes later, they're out the door and heading back to the apartment.

* * *

_A/N: Whoa okay it's been a long time since I've updated, like almost a month and a half. Yikes. I got so unbelievably blocked, this chapter sat partially done for almost a month, and I finally got around to finishing it. I'm going to be getting into season 6 in my own way now. Obviously I'll be editing things as Soulless!Sam doesn't exist here, but in the big picture, six should relatively follow canon. I also hope to be updated much more frequently than this. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter (even though it's pretty sad) and I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'd also love input as to if I should create a sideblog for this. I'm now learning photoshop and could probably post basic manips, I'd post any chapter update there, you could ask questions, you'd be able to see updates from me (like if a chapter was going to be delayed, etc) stuff like that. I know there aren't a ton of you, but if anyone is interested I'd be happy to put a blog together (:_


	45. By The Grace Of God

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. I do own Alexis.**

* * *

**Chapter 45: By the Grace of God**

Dean had returned to the apartment expecting to find it exactly the way he left it. But when he walks inside, he finds it empty. He spots a note on the counter, which read, "Got Lex out of the house, we'll be back later - Sam."

A half an hour later, Sam and Alexis return.

"Where'd you two go?" Dean asks as the two walk into the living room. He looks Alexis over, noting that she'd showered and changed into something other than sweats. She was actually starting to look like herself again.

"Flat Top Grill." Sam responds.

With that, an uncomfortable silence fills the air.

After a minute Sam says, "I'm going to put the leftovers away." He then walks away, over towards the kitchen.

Alexis stays standing there, not really sure what to say or do. Deciding not to make a big deal out of her speaking, she walks over and takes a seat next to Dean on the couch. She then reaches for the remote and changes the channel from Dr. Sexy to Grey's Anatomy, which she had recorded a lot of. "How many times do I have to tell you Grey's Anatomy is better?" she says.

Dean stares at her, his mouth hanging open slightly. Had he just heard her speak? "L-lex?"

"Dean."

He lets out a huge sigh of relief and says, "You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice."

She just nods and turns her attention back to the TV.

Dean looks back over at Sam, silently asking the dozens of questions whirring around in his mind.

Sam simply shrugs and joins them on the couch.

Alexis was left in the middle of a Winchester sandwich, which was exactly where she wanted to be.

After the episode ends, she stands up and says, "I'm uh, going to go do something in there." She knew both brothers wanted to talk, mostly about her, and she also knew Sam needed to talk to Dean about returning to hunting.

As soon as the bedroom door shuts, Dean turns to Sam and asks, "Okay, what did I miss?"

"I uh, I snapped. I shouldn't have but I did and well, she spoke. Very quietly, I almost thought I was hearing things, but she spoke. I suggested we get out of the house, go to Flat Top or something, so we did."

"And?"

"And she wants to go back to hunting. So that's what we're going to do." Sam says, trying to get used to the idea still. He wasn't exactly opposed to it, but he also didn't think it was the best idea.

"What? She can't hunt. She'll get herself killed, Sam." Dean says. Alexis couldn't hunt, she wasn't in the shape to, physically or emotionally.

"Being here is killing her... She won't last here much longer."

"What do you mean?" Dean asks, somewhat afraid to hear the answer.

"She picked up a gun, Dean. A gun. She almost did it… and she said the only reason she didn't was me. That's really, really bad. I- I don't know what to do here, I have no idea how to help her… so if she says getting out of here, going back to hunting, will help, that's what we're going to do." Sam replies. His mind had focused on that one part of the conversation and hadn't been able to let go of it. She'd said she actually picked up a gun and brought it to her head. He couldn't get that sentence, that image, out of his head, no matter how hard he tried.

Dean is silent for a moment, his face one of complete shock. He wasn't sure how to react. "Okay, okay. Back to hunting then, like before… before you two got married?"

"Yeah, for the most part. But she can't hunt right now. So we'll probably go to Bobby's for a few weeks. She needs to really ease back into things."

"Definitely. Have you called him?"

"No, I need to."

"I can." Dean responds. "I'll do it now." With that, he stands up and pulls out his phone, walking down the hall as he dials.

The three spend the rest of the day packing up what they'd take with them, getting rid of any food that could go bad, and other things like that.

That night, as they were all getting ready to go to bed, Sam realizes he wasn't sure where he was supposed to sleep. He didn't know if he should take the couch again or if Alexis would want him back in their room. "Lex?" he asks, leaning against the doorway into their bedroom.

Alexis turns her attention towards Sam, silently asking what he wanted.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me back in here tonight or uh, still on the couch."

"Oh. Umm… in here." she replies, not sounding as confident as she would've liked.

"You're sure?"

Alexis nods. She needed to be able to sleep next to Sam again, she needed to start letting him back in.

"Okay… We should get some sleep then." Sam responds.

She nods again and slips out of the hoodie she was in, leaving her in a tank top and pajama shorts. Then she goes to pull the sheets on the bed down as she sees Sam, out of the corner of her eye, pull off his shirt, leaving him in his boxers.

Sam walks over to his side of the bed, one in which he hadn't slept in in almost a month, and hesitantly lies down, turning his attention to Alexis. "You're sure you want me here? I can sleep out there again."

"No… No I- I need this. We need to get back to some sort of normal. And that involves sleeping in the same bed." Alexis begins, taking a seat on the bed, situating herself so that she was sitting cross-legged, facing Sam, who'd sat up as well. "I don't know what's going on in my head right now. I… I don't know why there's this part of me that wants to be nowhere near you. There's this little voice in my head that screams every time you touch me… and I hate it. I hate it. Because there's this other part of me that wants nothing more than to let you hold me in your arms and tell me everything is going to be okay, even if it's not." she continues, pausing to wipe a tear from her face.

Sam feels himself tearing up as well. With her finally speaking, he was starting to realize what had been going on in her head for the past two weeks, and it made his heart hurt. He wishes he could just hold her and make everything better, but he knew he couldn't.

"It's like I'm battling myself. There's this part of me that knows that touching leads to more than touching, and that's how I ended up pregnant, and then that led to- to losing the baby. And that's the reason that part of me screams at the thought of you touching me. Because- because if you don't touch me… I can't get myself in this position again. But then, then I'm alone. And all I want is for you to hold me. Leaving me torn."

"Lex…" Sam trails off, not a clue as to what he should say. He was speechless.

"It's stupid, I know." she replies, wiping another tear away.

"No. No. It is not stupid. Look at me," he says, gently bringing his hand to her chin, lifting her gaze to his face. "It's not stupid. I can't possibly understand what you're feeling right now, I never will. God, just a few months ago we would be both sitting here, and I could- I could bring my hand to your stomach and know that our child was in there, alive and growing. And then… in the blink of an eye, that was ripped away. That life… a life we created, just gone, before it even got to begin… and that hurts. That hurts like hell. But you're the one who carried our child… and I have no idea what this is like for you. I can't." Sam continues, pausing to wipe a tear from his eye.

A lump had formed in Alexis' throat and she swallows hard, fighting tears from spilling out.

"But you talking to me helps, okay? If I can know what's going on in your head… I can try to help. And I want to help. Because we do need to find a way to get past this and we need to do it together."

Alexis nods, not trusting herself to speak.

"Come here."

She turns and clicks off the light before lying down, sliding herself over so that she was up against Sam, with her head on his chest and his arms wrapped around her.

"We're going to get past this." he says quietly, holding her close to him.

"I hope so." she replies quietly, willing herself not to burst into tears.

"We will. Now try and get some sleep." Sam says, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Alexis nods and tries to make herself more comfortable, turning more into Sam. She closes her eyes, hoping she could actually get some sleep.

* * *

A few hours later, Alexis wakes up. Seeing that it was just after five, she decides trying to go back to sleep is of no use. So she slips out of bed, pulls a jacket on, slips some shoes on, and decides to sit out on the balcony, waiting for the sun to rise.

Around seven, while Sam was out getting breakfast and coffee for the three of them, Alexis finds herself in her closet, making sure she had everything she needed or wanted with her. When she comes across a gun, the same gun she'd come across time and time again within the past two weeks, she takes it in her hand and stares at it for a while. _Funny how one shot would just end everything. One little bullet could end it all. Just like that,_ she thinks to herself. It was something she thought about a lot, how easily things could end. How easily life could end. Just like that, something happens, and ends years and years of life. She found it both unsettling and comforting.

"Lex?" Dean asks, unable to keep his voice steady. He'd walked in to see if she needed any help carrying her bags out to the foyer, but when he finds her standing in her closet, gun in hand, he stops dead in his tracks.

She looks up, somewhat shocked. She'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't heard Dean walk in. "Funny how one bullet could end everything." she muses as she turns her attention back to the gun, thinking out loud now.

"Lex, give me the gun." he says, slowly stepping closer to her. She was scaring him now, and he knew things could go sideways very easily. She did have a point, one bullet could end it all, and that was definitely scary.

"After everything… after all these years, one shot could be the end."

"The gun, please." Dean says again with a wavering voice. He takes another step closer so he was right in front of her. Her focus was still on the gun though, she hadn't looked back up at him.

"It could just be over."

"You don't want that. Just hand me the gun." he replies, his hand outstretched.

Alexis looks back up at Dean and sees the utter fear in his eyes, instantly feeling bad for being the reason it was there. She shakes her head, meaning to convey that she wasn't going to do it, she couldn't.

"Come on, you're scaring me. Just give me the gun."

She slowly places the gun in his hand and looks up at him once again. "I wasn't going to- I couldn't."

Dean instantly curls his fingers around the gun and then checks to make sure the chamber was clear before sticking it in his pocket. He then turns back to her and places a hand on each of her shoulders, locking eyes with her as well. "You are going to get through this. You are. Both Sammy and I are going to be here for you, the whole way through. Death… suicide is not the answer, okay? It won't solve anything. Not a thing. So I want you to promise me something. Can you do that?"

"What?"

"I want you to promise me that if you ever feel like there is no way out, that- that suicide is it, you come talk to me first. Or Sam. I don't care what time it is, what's going on, you talk to someone. Got it?" Dean says firmly, his eyes searching hers.

Alexis nods.

"Promise me." he repeats, wanting to actually hear her say it. She never made promises lightly, so they held a lot of weight when she did.

"I promise."

"Good. Now come on, Sam should be back soon."

She nods again and follows Dean out of her closet and into her bedroom.

"I'm uh, I'm going to keep the gun for a bit, though, okay?" Dean says, turning back to face her as he picked up one of the bags.

She nods, knowing there was no point in arguing. "Are you going to tell Sam?"

He stops and turns to her once again. "I think I gotta tell him, Lex."

"Don't. Don't tell him, please."

"He should know."

"No, he doesn't need to. If you tell him, he'll never let me out of his sight. He barely does as is. He's worried enough already… don't add to that. Please." Alexis says, really not wanting to give Sam more reason to worry about her.

Dean takes a deep breath, contemplating what he should do. Part of him knew he shouldn't keep this from his brother, but a bigger part of him knew Alexis had a point, a good one at that. "Fine, I won't tell him. For now. But if I feel like things are worse, that he needs to know, I will."

She nods and walks ahead of Dean, over to her stuff.

* * *

Sam returns shortly after and the three are on the road, headed for Bobby's, by eight.

"She asleep?" Dean asks, glancing back at his brother and Alexis in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah." Sam replies, glancing down at Alexis. He'd insisted on sitting in the back with her so that she could try and get more sleep since he knew she didn't sleep much last night.

"Good. I uh, I don't really know where we go from here, Sammy. I don't know how to move on from this."

"I- I don't either. I try not to think about it… if I do then it paralyzes me. I can't think about anything else, I can't do anything else. It consumes me. So I focus on Lex, because she's still here. I just… don't know how to help her."

"I think this is what she needs right now, to get her mind off of it. Maybe all of us do. Get away from Chicago for awhile, focus on hunting. Then, eventually, Ellen and Jo will be people we can talk about without breaking down. And the baby… that's something you two are going to have to figure out together. You'll move past it… and maybe a few years down the road, you'll both revisit this. Hell maybe I'll get married too and we'll both have families. You never know." Dean says. He'd been thinking about that lately, about settling down. He'd never thought he'd find someone, never thought he wanted to, but now, after everything, he felt that if he met the right person, he might. If it happened for Sam, maybe it could happen for him.

Sam smiles sadly at the thought. He hoped some day they could revisit the idea of a family, but right now it was too painful for both him and Alexis. "Yeah, maybe. Dean, thanks for doing this. You didn't have to agree to this, come along again. I know you'd gotten pretty used to coming and going, hunting on your own or with Bobby or Adam."

"There's no place else I'd rather be, Sammy. You and Lex are really the only family I got left. And if hunting, being back out on the road, is going to help her, and help you, then that's what I'm going to do."

Sam nods and drops his eyes back down to Alexis, gently running his fingers through her hair. Helping her however he possibly could was his main focus at the moment.

* * *

After spending two and a half weeks at Bobby's, Alexis feels she's ready to go back to hunting. Since they'd been at Bobby's she'd been training, she was finally starting to feel like herself again. She'd also gotten back into some resemblance of a normal sleeping pattern, or at least normal for her, and she'd gotten back to eating properly again. She could also look in the mirror without cringing and her clothes didn't hang off her anymore, they fit again.

She knew the time had been good for Sam too. He'd been watching her attentively, but she'd been watching him as well. He was sleeping better and combined with Dean, was beginning to eat Bobby out of his house. He'd been training almost as much as she had, and she knew it was helping him too. It got their minds off of things and gave them something to do, to work towards. It was a healthy distraction for them.

Alexis felt like she was starting to finally accept what had happened and beginning to get past it. It was still hard, there still hasn't been a day that's passed without her thinking about her mother, her sister, and her baby. It was getting a little easier though, piece by piece she was beginning to move on.

"Lex?"

The sound of her name pulls her from her thoughts. She turns her head to see Dean standing in the doorway of her room, the one that was no longer very hidden.

"I uh, I've been meaning to give this back to you." Dean says, walking in. He brings his hand out from behind his back and extends it towards Alexis. In it he held her gun, the one he'd pocketed back in Chicago a few weeks ago.

"Oh." she replies, having pushed the memory to the back of her mind. She takes the gun from him as she says, "Thanks."

"Are you, uh, doing okay?" he asks. The three of them hadn't done any real talking since they'd been at Bobby's, it had mostly been small talk.

"Better. This- this really helped. I think… I think I'm ready to go back to hunting now. I want to."

"You sure about that?"

Alexis nods. "I'm just ready to get back to the whole hunting things, saving people… the family business thing." she replies, quoting Dean to Dean.

"How did you…" Dean trails off, not sure how to finish his question.

"One night, a while ago, when I couldn't sleep, I found Chuck's books online and read the first one on Sam's Nook."

"You did not."

"I did." she replies, unable to stop a small smile from spreading across her face.

Dean just shakes his head. "Have you told Sam yet?"

She raises an eyebrow in confusion and tilts her head ever so slightly. "That I read the book?"

He chuckles and says, "No. That you think you're ready to go back to hunting."

"Oh. No, I was going to when he gets back."

"Good. I'm glad you're doing better, Lex, I am. You scared me, you scared both of us." Dean admits.

"I know, I kinda scared me too. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss my mom and Jo, and I know that's not going to change, because there hasn't been a day of my life that I haven't missed my dad and my brother, but it does get easier. It fades."

"I know what you mean." Dean says with an understanding nod. "You know you can talk to me, right? About whatever, whenever."

"I know. Same goes for you." she replies.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not the only one who lost them. You and Sam did too. I know you and Jo were pretty close, there was something there… it just was never the right time. And I know my mom became a lot like a mother figure to you too. It hurts to talk about them still, but you can talk to me about them. Especially the good memories. That- that's how I have to try and think of them. The good memories. Like this one time- Never mind, I probably shouldn't say that." Alexis begins, starting to ramble but cutting herself off. There were some things she should maybe keep to herself.

"Say what?" Dean asks, now intrigued.

"I shouldn't."

"You should."

"Okay… So uh, this one time Jo and I got arrested." Alexis begins, pausing to take a seat.

"Arrested?" Sam asks, just now walking through the door. That was all he'd heard of the conversation.

"Sam."

"No, go on. I want to hear this." he says, pulling up a chair.

"Seriously?" she asks.

Both brothers nod.

"Alright. So uh, one summer when I was 15 and Jo was 17, we'd snuck out, which wasn't very hard to do on weekends. Met up with some other hunter kids that were in town and most of us got pretty drunk. The night is pretty spotty for me, but somehow we ended up chanting in Latin around a campfire, it was some song or poem we all knew. Cops showed up, thought we were performing some sort of satanic ritual and arrested us. It didn't help that more than half of us had some sort of protection charm on too." Alexis says, laughing a bit as the memory replayed in her mind. "Really only thing they could get us on ended up being underage drinking, and since we were all minors, most of which didn't even live in state, they let us off with a warning and phone call to our parents. My mom tried so hard not to laugh when the cops told her they thought we were performing a satanic ritual, doing some kind of devil worship."

Dean couldn't help but crack a smile. "Oh my god."

"What'd Ellen do?" Sam asks. He hadn't thought of Alexis as being the kind of kid to get arrested, but the story did make him laugh.

"She tried to be mad, she really did, but she only ended up grounding us for a week and told us the next time we wanted to drink, to just tell her and she'd let us, in moderation at least. She said she'd rather know what we were doing and where we were than get a different call and find out we'd ended up in the hospital or something."

"Yeah, that sounds like her."

"You know, in the entire time we've known you, you've never told us many stories about when you were younger." Dean adds.

"You really want to hear more?" she asks.

They nod again.

"Okay, so this one time, when I was pretty little, I think like five, and Jo was six, my parents had gone out for the night, leaving Matt in charge of us." she begins, smiling at the memory. She did have some good stories to tell, she just never got around to telling them much. They didn't come up. "Well, Jo and I thought it would be a great idea to play hide and seek. After we got Matt to agree, which wasn't hard, we decided to go outside to hide. Jo told me she knew a really good place to hide, but it was so dark out that we got lost trying to find it."

"You got lost? What happened?" Dean asks. The area around the Roadhouse was confusing to him anyway, he couldn't imagine being five and getting lost out there at night.

"Well, I started to freak out, which in turn freaked Jo out. I ended up climbing a tree to see if I could see the lights on the Roadhouse. I could, pretty far away though. Closer I saw a different light, followed by Matt shouting out for us." Alexis continues. "Then, when he finally found us, I was a good ten or fifteen feet up in a tree. I didn't want to come down, in part because I couldn't really see. Matt had to climb all the way up and then climb back down with me in his arms. He was not very happy with us."

"If you'd ever have done that to me, Sammy, I think I'd have had a heart attack." Dean says.

"Matt almost did. And then of course he couldn't tell our parents about it, because he'd really have been the one to get in trouble for letting us out of his sight in the first place."

Before any of them could say anything else, they hear Bobby shout, "Pizza's here."

"Guess story time is over." Dean states, standing up. "You two coming?"

"Be up in a minute." Alexis says.

"Yeah, don't eat everything!" Sam calls after his brother.

"Early bird gets the worm!" Dean calls back as he walks out.

"Everything's going to be gone if we don't go up soon." Sam says, turning back to Alexis..

"Yeah, I know. Not that hungry anyway though." she replies, plopping down on the bed. When she sees a look she knew all too well cross his face she adds, "Don't even start with that. I'm just not hungry, alright?"

"Fine. I guess we can always go get something later anyway if the two of them do eat it all." he replies, taking a seat on the bed next to her.

"I wanted to talk to you about something anyway."

"And what would that be?"

"I want to start hunting again."

"What? Lex, are you sure you're ready?" he asks, turning himself so that he was facing her.

"I'm sure. I'd like for us to try and find a hunt in the next day or so."

Taking a deep breath, Sam says, "Okay. But whatever it is, with this one, you stay with me or Dean always, okay? I don't… I want one of us to be able to see you at all times. For a couple of reasons."

She nods, entirely understanding where he was coming from. If she were him, she'd insist on the same thing. "I get it, I do. I'm rusty… and you want to make sure I don't get myself killed, accidentally or otherwise."

Sam nods.

"I can do this, Sam. I need you to trust me on this."

"I do, I do. I'm just… a little scared I guess. After everything that's happened in the past few months, I just don't know how much more I can take… I've lost you or almost lost you too many times, I can't keep doing that. I need you here… and I need you safe."

Alexis picks up on the lingering pain in his eyes and scoots closer to him, taking one of his hands in hers. "Hey, I am here, and I am safe, or at least as safe as I'm ever going to be with who we are and what we do."

"I know that, I do..." Sam responds, trailing off. He didn't really know how to put into words what he was feeling.

"Then what is it?"

"With everything we've been through, everything I've seen, there's just this… underlying fear I guess, that I'm going to wake up and look to my left and you won't be there. That you're just going to be gone, that- that once and for all, I'm really going to lose you. And I can't shake that, it's just there, always. And it scares me."

"Sam…" Alexis begins, trailing off. She didn't know how she should respond to his confession.

Sam averts his eyes, focusing on the pattern of the bedspread. He wasn't one to get very vulnerable, even with her. With the way he grew up, vulnerability meant weakness.

She scoots close to him, bringing her hands up to cup his face. "Hey, look at me." she begins. Before continuing, she situates herself so that she's in his lap facing him, her legs loosely around his waist, her face only a foot or two from his. "I'm right here and I don't plan on going anywhere."

"You've said that before." he mumbles in response.

She closes her eyes for a moment, remembering another time she'd told him that. After she and Jo had almost died and had been assumed to be dead for four days. "I know… Guess that doesn't really carry much weight then, does it?"

Sam nods slightly, agreeing with her. There wasn't really anything she could say to make him feel better, feel less scared.

"Alright, well how about this, if there's something or someone who wants to get to me, they have to get through you and Dean first. And you always protect me when you can, always. That's one of the many things I love about you. You protect the people you love, and I'm lucky enough to be one of those people…. Sometimes I still have to ask myself how I ended up with you, what I possibly did to deserve you."

"Lex…" Sam begins, interrupting her. He was wrong, there apparently was something she could say to make him feel better.

Alexis gives him a small smile while shaking her head, "No, let me talk. I would not have gotten through these past few months without you. You have helped me more than words can possibly describe, and there's no way I can ever repay you for that. The- the only reason I didn't put a bullet through my head… or jump off a bridge, or whatever… is you. That's how dark things got, how low I was." She pauses, brushing a stray tear from her face. "But now... now thanks to you, I'm sitting here and I- I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just praying it's not a damn train." she finishes, followed by a sad chuckle as she wipes another tear from her face.

Listening to her talk, seeing nothing but pure emotion in her eyes, Sam tears up as well. "I am always, always, here for you. You know that, right?" he asks as he wipes another stray tear from her face with the pad of his thumb.

She nods, closing her eyes to will herself not to cry. She couldn't cry. She was afraid that if she started she wouldn't be able to stop.

"And as much as you say I helped you, you helped me too. You were my one light in all of this. And even though it was bad, you were still here. You are still here. And I focused on that, that's still what I tell myself. It could've been worse, I could've lost you too. And then… then I don't think I'd still be here. I don't think I could've survived losing you too."

Alexis had locked eyes with him halfway through his confession. He'd let his guard down entirely, something he hadn't been doing with her recently. He'd been filtering himself, keeping his emotions at bay, for her. "Sam…"

"Things are getting better, they are. You're almost back to full strength… we're actually talking again… and we're moving on. It's hard, it's slow, but together you and I are getting past this."

She nods.

"Now why don't we go see if there's any food left? We should eat."

"But I don't wanna get up."

"Then how about I go up and get some pizza and beer, bring it back down here, and we can watch Grey's Anatomy and eat in bed. I think I'm a few episodes behind anyway." Sam says, gently sliding Alexis off of his lap and onto the bed before standing up.

Alexis cocks her head, raising an eyebrow at Sam. She was confused. Did he just say he was behind on Grey's Anatomy?

"What? You watch it so much you got me hooked." Sam adds, noticing the confusion on her face.

She just shakes her head. "Okay, McSteamy or McDreamy?"

Now Sam's the one who looks confused. "What?"

"McSteamy or McDreamy? Pick one." Alexis says, curious as to what his answer was going to be.

"McDreamy I guess."

She drops her mouth in shock, overly exaggerating on purpose. "I don't think I can call you my husband anymore." she states, staring at him as if he'd just betrayed her.

"Hm, then I guess I don't have to bring you pizza and beer. Or maybe I'll bring you flat beer."

"You wouldn't. You couldn't even find any flat beer, Bobby can't keep beer in the house long enough for it to go flat!"

Sam chuckles at the thought. Beer really didn't last too long around here. "You've got a point. I'll be back."

Alexis watches Sam walk off before sliding off the bed and pulling out her laptop. She then finds her season 6 DVDs of Grey's Anatomy and puts one in. With that ready, she turns off her main lights and plugs in the Christmas lights she'd strung up on the wall behind the bed. Then she just waits for Sam, an episode of Grey's ready to play when he returned.

* * *

_A/N: Been a while since I updated. I've gotten busy and I also hit a wall with the story. I hope to get back to updated at least every two weeks, but I'm not sure if that'll happen until summer. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. Timeline wise, I think I'm a little behind season 6, so I'm going to invent a hunt or two of my own to pave the way into season 6. With where Sam and Alexis are right now, I don't think I'm going to do the shifter baby episode. I am going to tie in the Campbells in another way though, and Crowley will have other leverage instead of Sam's soul._

_Note: I'm also still in the process of editing this story in its entirety, it's moving slowly. Chapters 1-7 have been updated, the rest I'm working on. _


	46. Ain't Gonna Drown

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters in it. Alexis and Arizona, however, are my original characters.**

* * *

**Chapter 46: Ain't Gonna Drown**

"Where's Bobby?" Sam asks, looking around the kitchen. He'd just woken up and headed upstairs, leaving Alexis to sleep.

"Left a note, said Adam needed help on a hunt and he went to help him." Dean responds, glancing up from the paper. Seeing that it was just Sam, he figures now would be the best time to talk to him about Alexis and going back to hunting. "So I found what looks like a hunt west of here, in Casper, Wyoming."

"That was fast. What do you think it is?" Sam questions as he grabs some coffee and takes a seat across from his brother.

"Looks like it could be a vengeful spirit. Two brothers died, each on different nights, both brutally murdered. Then, two nights after that, one of the brothers ex-girlfriends was also murdered. They have no leads, the girl and the older brother were both at home, there were no signs of forced entry, alarm systems hadn't gone off, even the security cameras didn't pick up anyone around the time they were killed."

"Yeah, sounds like it could be a vengeful spirit." the younger Winchester replies, taking a sip of his coffee.

"She told you she was ready to go back to hunting, right?"

"Mhm."

"So what do you think?" Dean asks. He was okay with going back to hunting, and he knew Lex was too, but he wanted to know where his brother stood.

"I think if she says she's ready, we have to take her word for it. But I also think we don't let her out of our sight, no splitting up all together. She's with one of us at all times. I'm not taking any chances, it's better safe than sorry."

Dean nods. "Does she know this?"

"Yeah. She understands."

The oldest brother nods again and takes a sip of his coffee. "Are you ready for this? Just because Lex says she's ready, doesn't mean you have to be."

"Yeah."

"You don't sound too happy about it."

"It's not that. I'm just worried. We haven't done this in a while, not since the apocalypse. And things never go right for us, ever. I'm scared something's going to happen and I'm going to lose her once and for all. And hunting makes that more likely." Sam replies. Though his conversation with Alexis last night had eased his mind, there was still that underlying fear of losing her.

"Well that's not going to happen, not if you and I have anything to say about it."

"Part of me knows that, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared."

"I don't blame you, okay? I get it. But we have to get back to some sort of normal, for all our sakes." Dean replies.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sam says, taking another sip of his coffee. "So what else do you know about this hunt?"

"Not much. But I'm thinking it should be a pretty straightforward case."

"Case?" Alexis asks as she enters the kitchen, having heard the last part of what Dean said.

Both brothers glance in her direction, neither having heard her walk up. "Yeah, sounds like a vengeful spirit. It's a few hours west of here." Dean replies.

"Oh. That was um, that was fast." she replies, walking over towards the counter to grab a cup of coffee.

"You still think you're ready? Because we don't have to do this, we can send someone else." Sam says, detecting slight hesitation in her voice.

"I'm ready, Sam. You don't have to keep asking me that." Alexis responds, walking over and taking a seat at the table. She sees the two brothers exchange a look, but neither of them say anything else. Turning her focus back to her cup of coffee, she pours in cream and sugar.

"You know, with all the crap you put in that, it shouldn't even be allowed to be called coffee." Dean says, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I hate coffee, this is the only thing that makes it palatable. It's not my choice for caffeine, but since Sam's gotten Bobby on board the anti-energy drink train, there aren't any here, leaving me with this." Alexis responds. Sam wouldn't come right out and ask her to not drink energy drinks, no, he would just continuously vocalize his distaste for them and talk about how bad they are for you. It had gotten to a point where she just found it funny instead of annoying.

"It's proven that they're bad for your health." Sam adds in.

"Lots of things we do aren't really good for our health, Sam."

Sam just shakes his head, knowing he would never get her to stop drinking them.

"Anyway, I figure we should hit the road within the next hour or so." Dean says, changing the topic back to the hunt.

"Yeah, I should go shower and get my stuff together." Alexis replies. She downs the rest of her coffee before getting up.

Once they see her disappear, Dean says, "Well that was… almost normal."

Sam just nods, finishing off his cup of coffee.

"Something still seems off though, it has the whole time we've been here. Are you two, you know, okay?" Dean asks. He'd noticed the shift in their relationship. It didn't seem quite right, there was something clearly different, he just didn't know what it was.

"I'm not sure I really know what okay is anymore… I should um, I should go start getting my stuff together." Sam replies, shutting down the conversation. He didn't feel like talking anymore, he didn't know what to say.

Dean watches as his brother walks away, leaving him alone in the kitchen once again.

* * *

The first few hunts were a little rough. All three of them were rusty in different ways. They had to learn to work as a team once again, and they had to adjust to a new dynamic. There was no such thing as going back to the way things were, too much had been lost. They had to create a new way, a new normal. Each of them had their own problems to work through, and they each had their own way of doing so. Alexis buried herself in hunting, Sam drowned himself in research, and Dean drank away his pain.

A month later they'd developed some sort of systematic schedule. Dean would come up with a hunt and run it, Sam would follow suit, and then Alexis would. Then they would repeat, starting again with Dean. They didn't stop, they didn't do any real talking outside of small talk or discussing the case at hand, and the names of the fallen Harvelles were never uttered once. The three had never been closer, but they'd also never been further apart. The past year was never spoken of, Castiel had all but vanished, and calling Chicago home was but a distant memory. Each of them, in their own ways, resembled robots.

As the months of July and August passed, little headway had been made. Dean and Sam held a few meaningful conversations, where they actually talked about things outside of hunting. Sam and Alexis were distant, neither seemingly able to or willing to talk about anything other than hunting or small talk. As unexpected as it was, the relationship that took the biggest hit was Dean and Alexis'. Outside of the gun ordeal, they'd had little to talk about. And with both of them being so very set in their ways, neither initiated a conversation. They talked about hunting and occasionally argued over Dr. Sexy and Grey's Anatomy, but there wasn't much more. And it remained that way until something broke the pattern.

It was the last weekend in September, the first weekend since they'd returned to hunting in May, that they'd taken a break. The three of them had returned to Bobby's for a few days, even though Bobby wasn't there. That Saturday, while Sam was at the library, Dean's phone rang. Figuring it was just some hunter, Dean reaches to press ignore and send the call to voicemail. He freezes when he sees the name Arizona on the screen. He hadn't spoken to her in months, hell he'd all but pushed her from his mind. "Hello?" he answers.

"Dean?" Arizona asks, as if she couldn't believe she'd gotten an answer.

"Yeah. What's up?"

"What's up? We haven't spoken in months and all you have to say is 'what's up'?" she responds incredulously.

"I'm sorry, okay? But it's not like you ever called. Phones work both ways."

"Yeah, I know. Listen, can you ask Lex to call me? She's been ignoring me for weeks. I gave her time and I gave her space, but I feel like if I give her anymore I'll never get her back, and I can't- I can't lose the last Harvelle I've got left, okay?" Arizona says, trying her best to keep her voice steady. She was hurting, she hadn't stopped hurting since the day she'd gotten that fateful phone call from Dean, telling her the closest thing she had to family was all but gone.

"You've called her?" he asks, slightly surprised this was the first he was hearing about it.

"A billion times, but she won't answer. Ellie keeps asking about her, she misses her. I miss her too. So much."

"I'll talk to her. It's about time we actually have a real conversation I guess." Dean replies. Truthfully, he missed Alexis too. He was just too damn stubborn to do anything about it.

"Thank you." Arizona says, taking a deep breath before continuing, "But Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"There's um, something you all should know."

"And that is?" he questions, not sure he was going to like what was said next. Arizona's tone was off, and that raised a few flags.

"I'm um, I'm pregnant."

"Oh… Oh. Is this um, a happy thing or no?" he asks, not really sure what he should say. That was probably the last thing he'd expected to hear.

"Mostly happy."

"Then congratulations."

"Thanks. I mean, it's always something I've wanted, I'm not hunting and I'm not getting any younger, so it's a good thing, just not so good timing." Arizona replies. That was part of the reason she'd given Alexis so much space, the terrible timing of things.

"How far along are you?"

"Four months."

"Oh. Wow. And the father?" Dean questions. He was testing the waters, trying to get a feel of the situation so he knew what to expect and what to say to Sam and Lex.

"Not around. But that was a mutual decision. I've been fine on my own with Ellie, this will be too."

"You shouldn't be alone, Arizona. At least not towards the end, especially with the roadhouse."

"I'm not actually. Your uh, your brother has been staying with me the past six weeks or so."

"Adam? Really? Are you two, you know-" he begins to ask, unable to help himself.

Arizona cuts him off, "Together? No. He's just been a really good friend. I think he misses his old, rather normal, life more than he lets on."

"I don't blame him. He didn't grow up with hunting, and he sure as hell didn't ask to be thrust into it. So he's going to stay with you? You won't be alone?"

"Yes, he'll be here. I won't be alone, Dean. I'll be fine. Adam is actually the one who pushed me to call you since Lex was shutting me out."

"I'll talk to her. She hasn't been herself, we've barely had any substantial conversations whatsoever since the accident, and she even keeps Sam at arms length. She's isolated herself, locked herself away inside. I get it, I do, but I don't know how to get her out of it, how to help her." Dean explains. He wasn't one to talk about his feelings much, but this was actually helping him. And if anyone knew how to help Alexis, it would be Arizona.

"That's the way she's learned to grieve. And with every person she loses, it just gets worse. Her dad, Matt, Zac, now her baby, Ellen, and Jo all at once? I can't imagine how she's feeling. With her, you have to give her space, but you also need to know when to push. At a point, you have to push her. Break that barrier down, and only then will you start really making any progress with her. It's hard, you'll probably make her cry, but you gotta push, Dean, or you and Sam will lose her for good. She'll be too far gone and she won't bounce back." Arizona explains. She'd had to do it once, after Matt died, and Alexis had done the same for her after her sister had died.

"I don't- I don't know if I can do that to her."

"You have to. You or Sam have to do it. You gotta push her, stop giving her space. I'd do it myself but she won't talk to me." she replies.

Taking a deep breath, Dean responds, "Fine. I'll try. And I'll talk to her about you, and either she or I will call you back."

"Okay. Thanks, Dean, and good luck. She's in there, the Alexis we all know and love, you just gotta pull her out."

"You make it sound easy."

"It's not, but it's necessary. Talk to you later, Dean." Arizona says, though she was hoping it would be Alexis she talked to later, not Dean.

"Yeah, okay. Bye, Arizona."

And with that, the conversation ends, leaving Dean alone with his thoughts. Figuring it was best not to wait for Sam, since he might argue against confronting Alexis, Dean heads to the basement.

He finds her sitting cross-legged on her bed, staring at some article she had up on her computer. "Lex?"

The sound of Dean's voice pulls Alexis out of her own thoughts, she hadn't even heard him walk down the stairs. She shifts her gaze to him, silently asking what he wanted.

"We need to talk. And I mean really talk."

Noting the seriousness in Dean's voice, Alexis shuts her laptop and places it off to the side of her bed. "Okay. Shoot."

"Well first off, I just got off the phone with Arizona. She said she's been trying to call you for weeks, but you've been ignoring her." Dean begins, walking into the room.

"I don't want to talk right now." she replies, her voice detached. She had been ignoring Arizona, and she intended to continue to do so. She knew it would be too painful to talk to her, to go back there and see her and Ellie.

"You don't have to talk, you just gotta listen. She's given you space, Lex, we all have. Five months of it. But there's a point where space stops being helpful. And that's now. Arizona needs her friend right now. You can't make her lose you too. I get that she's tied to your whole family and the roadhouse, and I get that that has to hurt. That's a wound you'd rather not reopen, but you have to." Dean begins, pausing to see if she would say anything. When she doesn't, he continues. "You have to break out of this- this funk. Or whatever this is. It's got to stop. It's not helping anyone, Lex, least of all you. So you're going to see Arizona, whether it's on my terms or yours is up to you. But I can assure you you will like mine a lot less."

"I can't." Alexis mumbles, trying to keep her voice from breaking. Dean had a point, but the reaction he was looking to get from her wasn't something she could do.

"Yes, you can."

"No," she begins, finally bringing her eyes to Dean's. "No, I can't. The- the person you're looking for, the person you all are looking to break out of this, isn't in here anymore, Dean. She died six months ago right along with her family."

"That's not true." Dean responds, feeling tears begin to fill his eyes. He couldn't allow himself to believe what she was saying, he had to believe that the Lex he and Sam knew and loved was still in there.

"Yes, it is. I am not the girl who looked the devil in the face, I am not the girl who willingly jumped into the pit to stop the apocalypse, I am not the girl Sam married. She- she died the minute her baby's heart stopped beating. I am a shell of that girl. A beaten, broken, empty, shell." Alexis says, on the verge of tears.

"I don't believe that. I can't."

"Not believing the truth doesn't make it any less true."

Not entirely trusting his legs, Dean takes a seat next to Alexis. "No. There has to be a way past this. There has to."

"There's not. Not for me." Alexis replies, still struggling to keep her tears at bay.

"Don't say that." he replies, angling himself so that he was facing her. He could see she was seconds away from crying, and he hated that he was the reason for that, but he had to keep pushing.

"There's no way out for me, Dean. It hurts too damn much." With that said, Alexis feels a tear roll down her cheek, dropping off onto her thigh. Unable to pull herself together, more tears follow suit.

Dean pulls her over to him, attempting to provide some comfort.

Seeing no point in resisting, in insisting she was fine, she leans against Dean, resting her head on his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay. We'll all be okay again." he says quietly, rubbing small circles on her back.

As her sobs begin to slow, she starts drifting off and ends up falling asleep, her head in his lap. Not having the heart to get up and leave her to sleep on her bed, Dean grabs a pillow and slides it underneath her head. He hoped Arizona was right, that this was the breaking point and things could only go up from here, because he didn't want to see what could be worse.

* * *

Walking through the front door of Bobby's house, Sam is greeted with silence. When he doesn't see Dean anywhere on the first floor, he decides to go downstairs to find Alexis. As he walks closer to the door, though, he sees that Dean is seated on her bed. Slightly confused, he walks into the room. He could see now that Alexis was there too, but she appeared to be asleep, with her head in his lap. That only further confused him.

Dean, upon hearing Sam walk up, turns his head and quietly says, "She's asleep."

"I can see that." Sam replies, keeping his voice quite as well. He walks over so that he was facing Dean. Noticing Alexis' tear streaked cheeks, his face crinkles in confusion and concern. "She's been crying. What happened?"

"She's okay, we're all going to be okay."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Dean glances back down at Alexis and gently slides himself over so that he could stand up. When he does, he waves Sam out of the room.

"Arizona called me earlier, asked if I'd talk to Lex for her, since apparently she'd tried calling dozens of times but Lex wouldn't answer. Arizona pretty much said we were at the point that space is no longer a good thing for Lex, that someone needed to push her… break down the barrier she'd put up. And I tried, for all our sakes." Dean explains. Maybe he should've waited for Sam, but he was glad he didn't.

"So you made her cry?" Sam asks, his tone giving way to some displeasure. He wasn't very happy about being left out of whatever had happened.

"It's not like I wanted to, but once I got her talking and kept pushing… yeah."

"What did Arizona say to you? What was so important that you couldn't just wait for me?"

"What, so you could do it? Sammy, if you could've done it, we wouldn't be here right now. You'd have done it months ago." Dean replies. He didn't want to fight with his brother, but he was sensing that that's where this conversation was going.

"What are you trying to say? That you know what's best for her and I don't?" Sam replies, slight anger in his voice.

"No, of course not. All I'm saying is… you have a blind spot when it comes to Lex. We all do. Leaving her be was easier for all of us. It took Arizona talking to me today to realize we weren't helping her by doing that, by giving her space."

While the two brothers are arguing, Alexis wakes up. When she hears loud voices coming from just outside her door, she gets up and walks over. Once she sees that it's Sam and Dean shouting at each other, she interrupts them. "What's going on?"

Both brothers stop and turn their attention towards Alexis, neither having heard her walk up to them.

"Nothing." Dean answers firmly, giving Sam a hard stare.

"You two were shouting at each other. And you stopped as soon as I walked up, so it was about me. As usual." she replies.

"Lex…" Sam trails off, not really sure what to say. He pretty much never knew what to say to her anymore.

"I'm going to go for a walk." Alexis says, brushing past the two brothers and heading for the stairs.

"I'll come with." Sam offers.

"Alone." she replies firmly, not wanting either brother to accompany her.

With that, she walks upstairs, leaving the Winchesters alone in the basement.

* * *

"She's been gone over an hour now." Dean says as he walks into the living room. It would be dark in about another hour and it wasn't exactly best to be walking around alone after dark.

"I'll try calling her." Sam replies. He clicks off the TV and pulls out his phone, speed dialing Alexis. The call goes straight to voicemail. "Her phone is off. Great."

"Should we go look for her?"

"I'm pretty sure I know where she is, I'll go." the younger Winchester says, taking the last sip of his water before standing up.

"Sammy wait." Dean says, stopping his brother in his tracks.

Sam turns around, a questioning look on his face.

"Arizona, um, she's pregnant. Four months. That's part of why she gave Lex so much space."

"Oh. Um, did you um… tell Lex that?"

"No."

Sam nods and says, "Alright, um, maybe we should let Arizona tell her then? I don't- I have absolutely no idea how she'll react."

"Yeah, okay." Dean says, feeling the same way.

Without another word, Sam heads out of the living room and outside. Fifteen minutes later, he's pulling up to a bridge, the one he figured Alexis would be at.

Sure enough he sees her sitting on the bridge, which appeared to have been the site of another accident. There was police tape and a car sized hole on the side of the bridge. That made it the third accident he'd heard of, and he wondered why people still drove on it. It wasn't well lit at night, and got slippery when it rained. Truly it should be shut down or rebuilt. Sam parks the car off to the side of the road and walks over, taking a seat right next to Alexis.

"Guess this isn't much of a hiding spot anymore, is it?" she says, knowing it was Sam before he'd even sat down.

"Not really." Sam replies. He wasn't sure what he should say. He hadn't been able to really talk to her since they'd gone back to hunting. He could never figure out what to say, and he felt like she just kept pushing him further and further away. She'd talk if he pushed her to, but it always felt forced instead of genuine. He couldn't remember the last time they'd felt like a married couple or really a couple at all. He couldn't even remember the last time they'd kissed.

"I um, I came here to do some thinking. I've been really selfish these past few months… I built my old walls up so high that I couldn't see past them. I- I just kept pulling further and further away from you, from Dean, from everyone. And it's not fair, especially to you. I got so wrapped up inside my grief, inside my own head, that I got lost in it and I didn't know how to get myself out. It took Dean practically pulling me out of it today for me to realize that... I'm guessing that only happened because of Arizona, who I've also been icing out... I just get myself into such a- a funk I guess, after I lose someone, and this time it was three times as bad." Alexis says. That's what she'd been thinking about for most of the past hour, about how she could pull herself together and make it up to Sam.

"Hey, look at me." Sam says, getting her to make eye contact with him. "You've had every right to be selfish. These past five months have been hard as hell, and I've missed you, but I understand, okay? The important thing is that you're aware of it, because that means you're able to pull yourself out."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I um, I talked to Arizona. I called her when I got to the bridge, turned my phone off after. She was glad I called, and as much as I thought it would hurt to hear her voice, it felt really good. She's the closest thing to a sister I've got left, and I shouldn't have been shutting her out. And I think going and seeing her, Ellie, and the roadhouse is something we should all do."

"Then that's what we'll do."

After a few minutes of silence pass, Alexis glances at Sam, who was looking out at the water below the bridge. She studies his face, something she hadn't done in what felt like forever. She'd been so far inside her own head that she stopped paying much attention to her surroundings. "Do you remember the last time we were here?"

Sam turns his attention back to her. "Yeah. We got into a fight, probably the biggest one we've had."

"And you asked me to marry you."

"I did." he replies, a small smile spreading across his face as he recalls the memory.

"If you'd known then what you know now, would you have still asked?"

"What? Are you kidding me? Of course I would have. Lex, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And there is nothing that could ever happen to make me wish we weren't married. Nothing. You got that?" Sam replies, slightly surprised that she even asked. Could she really think that the past six months would make him reconsider their marriage?

"I haven't exactly been the best wife… or really a wife at all."

"Stop. You are my wife, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Alexis nods, seeing that Sam wholeheartedly meant what he was saying. She then scoots closer to him, leaning so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. "Can we just sit here for a little while longer?"

Sam wraps his arm around her, pulling her a little closer. "Of course we can."

* * *

_A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since the last update. I can't believe it took me that long to figure out how to try and get to where I want to be, which is season 6. This chapter did pretty much just that, it took up that time. Starting with either the next chapter or the one after that, I should be getting into some season 6 episodes, with some obvious modifications. Since I finally got over that gap I was really struggling with and have a pretty well laid out path, updates to this story should become more frequent. I would like to get back to one a week, but it'll probably be more like one every one or two weeks. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Maybe let me know what you think with a review?_

_(Side note: I'm still trying to go through and re-edit things, my main focus is taking out all the different centric-POV stuff and fusing it into how I've been writing the new stuff. Since almost all of my chapters are song titles, and all will be once I'm through editing, I'm going to include the song at the end of each chapter. This one comes from Ain't Gonna Drown by Elle King.)_

_\- Extra side note, I realized this chapter went up the day before the one year anniversary of this story. So crazy! I'm so thankful for those of you that have found and read this story since then -_


	47. Trouble Is A Friend

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters in it. I do own Alexis. **

* * *

**Chapter 47: Trouble Is A Friend**

Dean, Sam, and Alexis spend the first week of October with Arizona, Adam, and Ellie. For the most part, they all just hung out and talked. But that Friday, Alexis' 26th birthday, Arizona managed to talk them all into going out for dinner. Alexis insisted on it being a simple low key thing, so that's what it was. They went out for a good meal and came back and watched a movie. Once the movie had ended, everyone went to their rooms.

"You know, it's almost midnight and I do believe I haven't gotten my birthday kiss yet." Alexis says as she walks over to the bed.

Sam looks up from his book, wondering if he'd heard her correctly.

Alexis nods, knowing Sam was wondering if she was sure, if she was ready.

"Well come here then." Sam says, tossing his book aside.

She walks over and slides onto the bed so that she was seated in front of him.

Slowly and gently, as if even the slightest wrong move would screw everything up, Sam leans forward and pulls her closer to him. At first he presses a small kiss to her lips, but Alexis deepens it. Before he was entirely aware of what was happening, they'd flipped and he was on top of her. He stops for a minute, wanting to be sure she was sure about where this was going. "You're sure?"

She nods, "It's- it's been long enough, and I miss you."

"Okay. If-" Sam begins, only to be cut off.

"Sam, shut up and get back to doing what you were doing."

* * *

The next day, early in the morning, the three hunters head out for a potential hunt in Easter, Pennsylvania.

"So what's the case again? I missed what you two were saying about it earlier." Alexis asks Sam as they walk into their motel room. The three of them had started getting two motel rooms next to each other when they could since they'd begun hunting again. Even though they had no problem sharing a room, it was nicer for everyone to have a little more space.

"Two cops have died in weird ways. One was completely liquified, everything was turned into blood. And the second guy was covered in boils, inside and out, which caused him to asphyxiate." Sam replies as he drops his bags on the ground.

"Oh. That sounds weird, and really kinda gross."

"Really? All the things we've seen and you call this gross?"

"Yeah, I'd take death by a vampire or ghost over being liquified any day." she says, plopping down on the bed.

"What about bugs?" Sam replies, taking a seat across from her.

"What do you mean?"

"Dean and I had a case years ago, soon after I'd started hunting again, where bugs had caused deaths. A construction guy died from beetles. And a woman was attacked by a swarm of spiders in her shower, causing her to crash through the glass and die."

"Ew ew ew, no I think I'd take just about anything over that. Ew."

Sam chuckles, having known that was the reaction he'd get. Few things scared Alexis more than spiders or bees. "What would you say was one of the grossest cases you've had?"

"Hm." Alexis begins, pausing to think. She goes with the first one that comes to mind. "I was on a hunt with Ryan, I don't remember why Jake wasn't there. It didn't seem like our type of thing at first, it was around Halloween and things get weird around then anyway. But we were nearby so we decided to check it out. A guy, a chef actually, had been made into human soup and put into a large pot. Put a new meaning behind the chef's soup of the day."

"Ew. That's… disgusting. So what was it?"

"It turned out to be three witches, two sisters and a brother, who had a sick sense of humor. They suspected he was putting less than appetizing meat into his food, specifically his soup. So they put some hex or spell on him that basically turned him into human soup, then placed that into a large pot and put it on the stove, leaving it for the workers the next day to find. Things like his eyes, fingers, and bones were still floating in it. Definitely one of the grossest things I've seen ever."

Sam grimaces slightly. "I don't think I'd ever have been able to eat soup again if I'd seen that."

"I couldn't for like a year. Ryan either. I haven't ordered the chef's soup of the day since then, I just can't." she replies with a chuckle.

"I don't blame you."

A few minutes later, Dean walks in. "You guys left your door open."

"We've barely been in here fifteen minutes." Alexis replies.

Dean just shakes his head. "Anyway, I was thinking that since all three of us don't need to go to the morgue, one of us could go there and two of us could go interview the first cop's partner."

"I'll do the morgue." Alexis says. On most cases as of late she preferred dealing with the dead over the living.

"Alright. Sounds like a plan." Dean responds before turning around and heading back out the door.

"You sure you're good going to the morgue alone?" Sam asks, turning to face Alexis before changing.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"You sure? I could come with, send Dean to interview the cop." he suggests.

"Sam, I want to do this by myself. I haven't been able to do anything for a hunt alone in so long."

"Alright, I get it. So I guess we'll drop you off and you'll call us when you're done."

With that settled, the two change into their FBI stuff and head out.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Alexis is walking through the door of the morgue. Seeing as the first officer, Joe Hatch, was liquefied and there was no real body to speak of, she was only there to see the second cop, Toby Grey. She was hoping not to have to deal with anybody, but one of the workers insisted on walking her to the morgue.

"So, how'd such a pretty girl like you get into working with the FBI?" the guy, Dan, asks.

"I was offered a job and took it. Believe it or not, Dan, you can have both beauty and brains." she retorts, rather used to dealing with dicks like this guy. Small town cops, or at least male ones, always seemed to think they're all that. And they certainly always acted like it in the presence of an out-of-town female cop, or in her case, FBI agent. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. That is if I can stop thinking about your truly insightful question."

Without another word, Dan hastily exits the room.

After the door swings shut, Alexis turns towards the drawer that held the boil covered corpse of Officer Grey. He'd been found dead in his patrol car sitting at a speed trap just outside of town. His cause of death had been deemed extreme allergic reaction. If she had to guess based on the corpse, and the lack thereof for the first cop, she'd say they were likely dealing with a witch. Seeing as there were no obvious signs though, she'd have to check with what Sam and Dean came up with. There had to be some kind of connection between the two cops. Hopefully the partner, the witness to the first death, would be able to tell Sam and Dean something.

Figuring the boys wouldn't be done yet, Alexis decides to walk to a nearby coffee shop. Before she'd walked more than two blocks though, she gets a call from Sam. "Hello?"

"Hey, you finished at the morgue?"

"Yeah, I was just walking to a coffee shop. Are you guys done already?" Alexis asks, slightly surprised she was hearing from them already.

"Yeah. He uh, he didn't have too much to say before keeling over."

"He died? Right in front of you?"

"Yep. Locusts ate right through his skull." Sam responds. Then, with a chuckle, he says, "Figures, you and I were talking about that bugs case earlier and now this."

A shiver runs down her spine at the thought. Bugs were something she preferred not to deal with ever. "I don't think I've ever been more glad to have gone to a morgue."

"I bet. So do you want us to just pick you up?"

"Yeah, I guess. I'm only a few blocks east of where you dropped me off in the first place."

* * *

Once they were all back at the motel, the three swap information in Dean's room.

"So my guy was literally covered in boils, head to toe, inside and out. It was deemed an extreme allergic reaction, but we all know that's not it. My first guess was witches, but I don't know now. I mean, blood, boils, and locusts? Those all sound like Egyptian plagues." Alexis says, pulling up a third chair to the table.

"They are." Sam responds, looking up from his laptop.

"Yeah, but these guys," Dean begins, picking up the jar of blood laced locusts, "ate their way out of a cop's melon. I don't quite remember that in the King James."

"Well this kid, Christopher Birch, _was_ shot in the head last month after a vehicle pursuit." Sam says.

"Let me guess, Hatch, Grey, and bugs in his brain, Colfax, were the three officers involved." Alexis adds in.

"Yep, and they all filed the exact same police report. 'Suspect exited the vehicle brandishing a firearm. We were forced to fire."

"Just a kid with no face and a planted gun.' Bunch of dicks." Dean says. "So they pop the kid, plant the piece."

"Maybe Colfax was right." Sam replies.

"What? That this was some divine intervention? And Heaven has some kind of hate-on for dick cops like these guys?" Alexis says, not really buying it.

"I'm with Lex on this one, I don't buy it." Dean adds in before getting up and grabbing a beer. "We should call Cas."

"You really think he'll come? Guy's been MIA for months." she responds. She'd called Cas a couple of times, so had Sam, but neither of them had gotten anything.

"Well, it's worth a shot." Dean says, taking a seat on the bed. "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here."

"See? Nothing." Alexis says, glancing around the room.

"Come on, Cas. Don't be a dick." the older Winchester adds. "We've got ourselves a plague-like situation down here… Do- do you copy?"

"He doesn't seem to be listening, Dean. Cas has left the building." Sam says after a minute.

"No I haven't." a voice says, coming from behind Sam.

The three all turn to see Castiel standing there.

"Hello." the angel says.

"Hello?" Alexis repeats. "That's all you have to say? Sam and I try dozens of times to get through to you, but Dean calls once and you drop everything and show up?"

"You think I came because Dean called? I came because of this." Castiel says, walking over to the table.

"So- so you and the halo patrol aren't behind these deaths?" Sam asks.

"No. But they were committed with one of our weapons. There's only one thing that could've brought this about. You call it the staff of Moses."

The three exchange a glance and Sam asks, "_The _staff?"

"It was used in a dominance display against the Egyptians, as I recall." Castiel responds.

Dean scoffs, "Yeah, that one made the papers."

"But I thought the staff turned, like, a _river_ into blood, not one guy." Sam says.

"The weapon isn't being used at full capacity." Cas says. "I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect."

"O-okay, but what is this staff doing down here anyway? Don't you guys have the weapons stored somewhere?" Alexis asks.

"Before the apocalypse, Heaven may have been corrupt but it was stable. The staff was safely contained." Castiel begins to explain, walking away from them. "It's been chaos up there since the war ended. In that confusion a number of powerful weapons were… stolen."

"Wait, you- you're saying your nukes are loose?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, I'm afraid so." the angel says, turning back to face them. "But you've stumbled onto one of them. We must find the weapon that did this. I need your help."

Sam scoffs, "That's rich. Really."

"You do not want that weapon down here. Help me find it. Or more people will die." Castiel warns, clearly not in the mood to mess around.

"Alright, okay. Well if the angels didn't pull the trigger, then it brings us back to motive." Dean says, turning and walking back to their research.

"What?" the angel asks.

"Back to the case." Sam explains. "Right now we got three dead cops. Only link between them is one case."

Dean hands over the newspaper article to Sam, who reads the title while showing it to Cas. "Father of slain suspect calls for investigation."

"Well then we need to go see this man." Cas replies.

"I'd say so." Dean adds.

"I'm uh, I'm going to stay here. We don't all need to go anyway." Alexis says, not enjoying the thought of being with Cas at the moment. She was a little upset with him. She hadn't seen or spoken to him since the day he healed her after the accident. She'd called for him numerous times, wanting to know if he could answer some questions about her mother, sister, and baby, give her some peace of mind. If she could know they were in Heaven, all of them, she'd feel a bit better.

Sam glances at her, wondering why she didn't want to go. The look on her face tells him it's complicated, so he decides to stay back as well. "I will too. You two go, find out what you can, then come back."

Castiel nods, and in the blink of an eye he and Dean disappear.

"You wanna talk about it?" Sam asks, turning to face his wife.

Alexis shakes her head, talking was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Do you want to go get some food then? We never stopped for lunch."

She nods. "Yeah, food sounds good."

The two take the keys to the Impala and head out the door.

* * *

When they return, they find that Cas and Dean were back.

"What the hell happened in here?" Sam asks, noticing the broken window.

"And who is that kid and why is he here?" Alexis adds, spotting a boy on the bed.

"Long story. The kid sold his soul to an angel for a piece of the staff. Then Cas found out that the angel is some buddy of his named Balthazar who he thought was dead. Then some angel, some soldier of Raphael showed up here and attacked Cas. The two of them fell through the window. Cas came back up here. And then you two walked in." Dean explains, summarizing it rather quickly. "Now your turn to explain, Cas. What's going on here?"

"I can explain later. Right now we have-" Cas begins, only to be cut off by the eldest Winchester.

"No, not later. Now. Stop, alright? Too many angels, Cas." Dean begins, "I don't know who's on first, what's on second."

"What _is_ second?" Castiel asks.

"Don't start that."

"It is simple- Raphael and his followers, they want him to rule Heaven. I - and many others - the _last_ thing we want is to let him take over. It would be catastrophic." the angel explains.

"You're talking civil war." Sam says.

"Technically, yes. Which is why we have to find Balthazar and his weapons before Raphael does." Cas replies, walking over to Dean's bag. "Whoever has the weapons wins the war."

"And what happens if Raphael wins? What- what does he want?" Dean asks.

"What he's always wanted. To end the story the way it was written." Castiel responds.

"You mean the apocalypse? The one that we derailed?" Alexis asks, speaking up.

"Yes, that one. Raphael wants to put it back on the rails. And a lot of them even want to take you out of it entirely, Alexis, as you were not originally intended to be here in the first place."

"So angels want me dead, again. Great. It was getting a little boring, you know, living without some form of supernatural being wanting me dead." she says, sarcasm dripping from her words. That was just what they needed.

"Well that's not happening. The apocalypse isn't happening, and Lex isn't dying." Dean states. There was no way in hell he was letting angels get to Alexis, and he wasn't letting Lucifer out of the cage ever again either. "And I thought Michael was dead. How could the apocalypse happen again without him?"

"They have a way around that. I'm not sure what it is." Cas says. "I need myrrh."

"Myrrh?" Alexis repeats, but by the time she'd finished the word Cas had vanished.

"Friggin' angels." Dean says.

Something clatters behind them and the three turn to see Cas had returned. He was now drawing a circle on the table.

"Why does Raphael want to bring back all this crap?" Dean asks.

"He's a traditionalist."

"Cas, why didn't you tell us this?" Sam asks.

"I was ashamed. I expected more from my brothers." Cas says, looking back up at the three of them with a truly apologetic look on his face, "I'm sorry."

When she makes eye contact with him Alexis feels most of the anger she had towards the angel slip away. It was those damn blue eyes of his.

"Now I need your blood." Cas says, grabbing Dean's arm and bringing a knife to his palm.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hey! Ahh! Why don't you use your own?" Dean says as Castiel slices into his hand.

"It wouldn't work. I'm not human."

Once Cas releases Dean's hand, he drops something into the bowl and begins chanting.

As sirens start wailing in the distance, Castiel finishes up. "Got it. Let's go."

"What about the kid?" Alexis asks.

"Don't you think the police will take care of that?" the angel replies matter-of-factly.

And with that, the four of them transport from the motel room to standing outside a fancy looking house.

"Huh, I was expecting more Dr. No, less Liberace." Dean says as the three walk closer towards the house.

The three of them remain outside while Castiel goes in. When thunder and lightning sound, courtesy of Raphael, they move into position and banish the angels that had been sent after them. They head in shortly thereafter, knowing they'd probably have to trap Balthazar in a ring of holy fire. Angels were not the most agreeable beings.

They get there just in time to see Raphael turned to salt by Balthazar and some stone he held in his hand.

Dean ignites the ring of holy oil moments later.

"Holy fire. You hairless ape! Release me!" Balthazar shouts.

"First you're taking your marker off of Aaron Birch's soul." Dean says.

"Am I?"

"Sam!" Dean shouts, cueing Sam to step in.

"Unless you like your wings extra crispy, I'd think about." Sam says, stepping in behind Castiel.

"Castiel, I stood for you in Heaven. Are you going to let-" Balthazar begins, looking at Cas rather pleadingly.

Cas cuts him off, "I believe the hairless ape has the floor."

Balthazar laughs, "Very well." He then brings his hands to his face, inhaling and exhaling deeply. "The boy's debt is clear. His soul is his own."

"Why are you buying up human souls anyway?" Alexis asks, stepping in so that she was standing right next to Dean.

"In this economy? It's probably the only thing worth buying. Though you may be a close second. Alexis, right? I know a lot of people who would like to see you dead." Balthazar replies.

"You're not getting her, no one is." Sam says, his tone hardened.

Shrugging him off, Balthazar looks back to Dean. "Now. Release me."

"Suck it ass clown, nobody said anything-" Dean begins, but before he could finish, the fire diminishes. "Cas, what the hell?"

"My debt to you is cleared." Cas tells the other angel.

"Fair enough." Balthazar responds before vanishing with a flutter of wings.

"Cas, are you out of your mind?" Dean says, turning to the angel.

Castiel vanishes as well, leaving the three hunters alone.

"Oh friggin' angels. Come on!" Dean shouts.

"Great. Just great." Alexis adds. "Now what?"

"We gotta get back to Pennsylvania some how." Dean says.

"Like now. Raphael knows we're here, and it shouldn't take him all that long to get a new vessel." she says. The fact that at least half of Heaven wanted her dead again was slightly worrying to her. "I'll call Gabriel."

"More angels. Great." Sam says.

"Do you want to get out of here or not? Because we can wait, let Raphael come back and take me out of this here and now." she retorts. Sam had never entirely warmed up to Gabe, and Alexis wasn't in the mood to hear about it.

Dean shoots Sam a look before turning to Alexis. "Call him, let's get out of here."

"Gabe! We could really use your help!" Alexis calls out, hoping he would be able to respond.

Within seconds, Gabriel appears just behind Alexis and Dean. "What is it? And why are you three here?"

"Long story. Can you get us back to Easter, Pennsylvania, please?" she asks, turning to face the angel.

Gabe snaps his fingers and the four of them are back in Easter, standing behind the Impala. "I'm sensing you three are now back in all of this crap with my siblings. I need to stay out of it, they all need to believe I am still dead. So I'm going to ask that you don't call me unless you absolutely need me, like one of you are dying or trapped or something. Okay?"

Alexis nods.

"Alright, well I gotta go." Gabriel responds before disappearing.

Sam scoffs and mutters, "Angels."

"Would it kill you to be a little nicer to him?" Alexis asks, rather annoyed. She knew Sam didn't like him, and he didn't have to, but he also didn't have to be so blatantly obvious about it.

"He's a dick, Lex."

"He may have made some dick moves, but he's not a dick." she replies. "If anyone here is being a dick, it's you. I'm- I'm going to take a walk."

Dean glances between Sam and Alexis, or her back at least as she was beginning to walk away. He almost never saw them fight, like ever, so this was weird for him. "She's right, you're being kind of a dick." he says quietly so that only Sam would hear him.

"Shut up. I don't- I don't know what it is about that guy, but I just don't like him."

"I don't either, but like it or not, Lex does. So you might want to get a little better at hiding that you don't like him. And you might want to go after her." Dean replies.

"I guess you're right." Sam responds before jogging after Alexis. "Lex, wait up!"

She hears Sam shout from behind her, but she was too annoyed to stop. He'd catch up to her soon enough.

"Stop walking, please." he calls after her as he gets closer.

She stops and turns around, her hands on her hips.

"I was being a dick, I'm sorry. I just- I don't like him."

"That doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it. Can't you just be glad he's one angel that doesn't want me dead? Cause' it doesn't seem like there's too many of those around." Alexis replies. "He's saved my life, Sam. More than once. I literally would not be here without him, you and I never would've gotten the chance to get married. Hell we possibly never would've met. Though maybe that would've been for the better." she adds, the last part barely above a whisper.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that all I ever seem to do is cause you pain, Sam. You probably would've been better off having never met me." That was a thought that had been in her head for a long time, she'd just never said it out loud before.

Sam shakes his head in disbelief. "Don't say that, don't ever say that. That's not true, okay? Not even close. Meeting you is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And pain, well pain is a part of the package when you love someone. There's nothing that could ever happen that could make me wish I'd never met you, you got that? Nothing. Because every time I see you smile, or hear your laugh, I know that's something I never want to live without." he says sincerely. Somehow she always brought out the sappy side of him.

"God I forgot how cheesy you can be sometimes." she replies, cracking a smile.

"Only for you." Sam says, smiling as well. "Now come on, let's go back. You know how impatient Dean gets."

Alexis nods and walks over to him, leaning into his side as he wraps an arm around her. "I'm serious though, it wouldn't kill you to be a little nicer to Gabe. Or to at least not act like a dick." she adds, glancing up at him.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll try."

* * *

That night, after they'd crashed at some motel, Gabriel visits Alexis in her dreams.

"Gabe?" Alexis calls out, glancing around. She was in some swanky looking pad, it had to be the work of Gabriel. And she had to be dreaming.

"Right here." Gabriel says, appearing before her. "I um, I just wanted to check in with you I guess. I know I've been MIA lately, and will still have to be."

"What do you mean check in?"

"See how you're doing. I don't know why, or how it even happened, because I normally despise humans, but I like you. And I care about you. So how're you doing?" Gabe asks.

"Well if it helps, I don't like most angels but I like you. I'm uh, I'm doing better I guess, trying to move on." Alexis replies. "You probably won't know this, but do you know if my mom, sister, and baby are um, in Heaven?"

"I haven't been able to sneak in and check on your mom or sister, it's not an easy thing to do. But babies have their own area of Heaven, a little easier to check on, so I did make sure your daughter was there."

"D-daughter?" she repeats. Did he just say daughter?

Regret floods Gabriel's face, "You didn't know… I- I'm sorry, Lex."

She shakes her head, "No, no, it's uh, it's fine. I think- I think I'm glad I know. She um, she's in Heaven though?"

Gabriel nods.

"That's- that's good. Thank you." Alexis replies, trying to keep her voice from breaking.

"Lex, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"I know. I think, uh, I think you should go now. Please."

The angel nods and disappears.

Alexis wakes up after that and rushes into the bathroom before bursting into tears.

The sound of the door wakes Sam up. She normally wouldn't turn the bathroom light on in the middle of the night. Something was up. So he slides out of bed and walks over. When he opens the door, he finds Alexis sitting on the floor with her head in her hands. She was crying.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Sam asks, bending down in front of her. "What happened?"

Alexis shakes her head, unable to bring herself to look up at him.

"Lex, talk to me. What's going on?"

She glances up, bringing her eyes to his for a split second. "It- it was a girl."

"What?"

"Our… our baby was a girl. It- she, she was a she." Alexis says as tears continue to stream down her face.

Sam leans back, letting himself fall to a seated position on the ground. He wasn't in anyway prepared for what she had just told him.

"She um, she's in Heaven. She's- she's in a better place." she adds, wiping away some tears with her hands.

He slides over so that he was next to Alexis, leaning up against the bathtub. "Then um, then we'll see her again. We'll get to meet our- our daughter in Heaven someday." Sam says, choking up on the word daughter.

Alexis nods as she leans her head against Sam's shoulder.

"Who um, who told you this?"

"Gabriel."

"Of course he did."

"Sam, he didn't mean-"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

She nods again, squishing herself against him even more.

"You and I are going to be okay again, you know. We'll be fine. Someday." Sam says as he wraps an arm around her.

"I know, deep down I know that. It's just… so hard."

"I know it is, I know."

Alexis glances up at him and says, "I love you."

"I love you too." Sam replies, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. "Why don't we go back to bed? Dean will probably want to get on the road early tomorrow."

She nods and takes Sam's hand once he's standing, allowing him to pull her up. The two of them walk back to bed hand in hand.

* * *

_A/N: New chapter! I finally moved into season 6 here, and this chapter is based off 6x03, The Third Man. Since it's summer and I know where I'm going with this season, updates should be coming more frequently. I don't think I've got anything else to say. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for reading (:_

_The title of this chapter comes from Trouble Is A Friend by Lenka._


	48. Bones

_A/N: I don't know what happened, but I got super stuck. I typed this out, and even though it's short and could use some more substance/fluff in it, I decided I'd just go with what I had and move on, keep writing the story instead of sitting and editing over and over again._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it, however Alexis is my own original character.**

* * *

**Chapter 48: Bones**

After leaving Pennsylvania, the three pick up a hunt in Wisconsin. The monster was unlike anything any of them had seen before. It cracked opened the bodies of its victims. They'd found a large black claw in the chest cavity of the last victim and had called Bobby for help. It turned out to be a Lamia, which they had to kill with a silver knife blessed by a priest. The odd thing was that Bobby said they were usually only found in Greece. It was unlike them to be found in Wisconsin.

A few days later, while they were in between hunts, Bobby called them, asking for a favor. It was Sam who'd spoken to him, as he'd been in the motel alone. He explained it to Alexis when she got back, and then the two waited for Dean to return.

"I'm back." Dean says as he walks through the motel room door. "And I picked up lunch."

"Bobby called, he needs a favor." Sam says.

"Yeah, an international one." Alexis interjects.

"What's that mean? What's he need?" Dean asks as he sets the food down. It wasn't often Bobby asked for anything, it was usually the reverse, and the word international had peaked his interest.

"He's trying to get his soul back from Crowley. He finally got a name, who Crowley was when he was human, and where he's buried. His bones are in Scotland, and Bobby needs us to go there." Sam explains.

"But all three of us don't need to go. I know you hate flying, so you could go back to Bobby's and Sam and I can fly to Scotland, deal with the bones." Alexis adds on.

"Okay. That uh, that sounds like a plan then I guess. I'll drop you two off at an airport and head to Bobby's."

"Closest airport with a flight to Scotland is O'Hare in Chicago." Sam replies. He'd googled it before even Alexis had gotten back to the room.

"That's a few hours away then. We should eat and get on the road." Dean says. "So let's get moving."

* * *

"You know, I've never been to Scotland. Hardly ever left the country really. And now we get to Scotland, and what do we have to do? Dig up a demon's bones." Alexis says. "Life is weird. I will enjoy burning Crowley's bones though."

"Oh so I do all the digging and you get to burn them?" Sam replies as he pulls himself up and out of the grave.

"I'll burn them or watch them burn. Either way, no more Crowley. Hopefully.9"

Seconds later, the phone rings. It was Dean, calling from Bobby's.

"Hey." Alexis answers, putting the phone on speaker.

"You two ready?" Dean asks.

"Yep. Standing in front of Crowley, or should I say Fergus' bones." Sam replies.

"Good. Now just wait for your cue." Bobby adds in.

While the two wait, they hear muffled sounds of conversation. It was clear Crowley had showed up, and that he, Bobby, and Dean were all talking. Eventually the phone is picked back up.

"Hello?" Crowley asks.

"Hiya, Crowley." Sam says.

"Sam? Been a long time. We'll have to catch up."

"Yeah, we'll have to do that. When I get back that is." Sam replies.

"Back?" the demon asks, clearly confused.

"Yeah. See Lex and I, we took a little trip."

"In fact, Fergus, we're in your neck of the woods." Alexis pipes in.

"So what's the game here?"

"You get your bones, Bobby gets his soul. Otherwise I'm more than happy to watch your bones go up in flames." she replies, flicking the cap to her lighter open and closed.

After a few seconds of silence, Crowley mutters, "Bullocks."

"Pleasure doing business with you." Bobby replies moments later.

Suddenly Crowley appears behind them in Scotland. "I believe those are mine."

As he begins placing his bones in a bag, he adds, "That reminds me. You've got one soul back, but I still have another."

"What're you talking about?" Sam asks. No one else had made any sort of demon deal, there was no way he had anything else on them.

"That sister of yours, the one with a boy's name. Her soul is all mine."

Alexis couldn't believe what she was hearing. It couldn't be possible. Jo had never made a deal, and there was no way she'd have gone to Hell. "J-Jo?"

"That's the one. She's merely a pawn, a bargaining chip if you will. You can have her back, eventually, but it's going to cost you. Now if you'll excuse me, I've a little hell to raise." Crowley says.

The demon vanishes before their eyes.

Feeling her legs begin to give way beneath her, Alexis bends down and takes a seat on the ground. Her body was starting to shake and it was getting harder and harder for her to breathe. She was having a panic attack, something that hadn't happened in a while. How could he have Jo? And how could she not have known?

"Lex, look at me." Sam says, bending down in front of her. "Hey, hey, breathe. He's bluffing, alright? There's no way he's got Jo's soul. He can't."

Alexis shakes her head, "No, no. He- he wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. He… he has my sister's soul."

"We'll figure it out then, okay? We will, but I need you to breathe. I need you to calm down, okay?"

She nods, attempting to regulate her breathing. After a few minutes, she does. "Sam, he has Jo's soul. He's probably torturing her and- and I can't do anything about it. I didn't even know. We have to get her back, we have to."

"We will, okay? But we have to get back to our own country first. Then we'll talk to Dean and Bobby and figure something out. We'll get her back, I promise."

She nods again. Her heart rate was still way up, and she was trying to get it back to normal. "What could he want from us? He- he sounds like he's pretty much the king down there now… What could we possibly do for him?"

"I don't know, Lex, I don't know. But we're going to find out." Sam says. That was for sure. Jo was family, and you don't mess with a Winchester's family. Not without it coming back to bite you in the ass at least.

* * *

**-Bobby's house, the next day October 17th, 2011 - **

"He what?!" Dean shouts, having a hard time believing what he'd just been told. When he picked Sam and Alexis up at the airport he could tell something was up, but they'd refused to tell him until they were back at Bobby's.

"The bastard says he has Jo's soul?" Bobby asks, disbelief evident in his voice.

Alexis nods.

"Called it a bargaining chip. Said we could have her back, but it was going to cost us. Big time." Sam explains.

"Well I say we summon the son of a bitch and find out what it is." Dean states, pure anger seeping into his words.

"You guys do that. I can't be here, I just can't. I'm going to go for a walk or something." Alexis says, quickly exiting the room before any of them could object.

"I'll go after her, you two do it." Sam says as he stands up.

"No, Sammy you stay. You and Bobby talk to him. I'll go."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, you and Lex were the two who spoke to him. So you stay." Dean replies. He then stands up and walks out, walking the way Alexis had gone.

When he reaches the door, he sees she'd only gotten about a third of the way down the driveway. "Lex, wait." he calls after her.

Alexis stops and turns around, her arms crossed across her chest, as she waits for him to catch up to her. "I can't be in there, Dean. Because I know we need him, we need to talk to him. And if I'm in there, I don't know that I'll be able to keep myself from doing something stupid and making things worse."

"I get it, I do. I'm not going to ask you to go back in there. I'm coming with you."

"You don't have to do that."

"Well I am. Now we can walk, or we can take the Impala and go get milkshakes or something. Either way you're stuck with me." Dean states.

"Cruel and unusual punishment." Alexis mutters, expecting to get a rise out of him.

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding." she replies, amused that even that could earn a reaction from him. For a hunter, he sure could be offended easily. "Milkshakes sound good I guess."

"Yeah yeah, maybe I'll spit in yours first."

"Maybe I'll get it to go and _accidentally_ spill it in the Impala."

"Maybe you'll be walking."

Alexis just shakes her head, unable to keep herself from smiling. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed meaningless bickering with Dean. She'd missed Dean in general really. "I missed this."

"Yeah, me too." he replies sincerely. "Now let's go get some shakes. Maybe some pie too."

"You and your damn pie. It's not even that good anyway."

"Watch it, or you really will be walking." Dean warns. "You just don't know what good food is."

She shakes her head as she opens the passenger door of the Impala and slides in. It was the small things they'd never agree on, and that was just fine with her.

* * *

An hour later, Dean and Alexis return to Bobby's.

"Hey, Lex?" Dean says as he takes the keys from the ignition.

She glances at him, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"We're going to get Jo back. Or at least make sure she's in Heaven, where she belongs. You know that, right? We're not leaving her in the hands of Crowley, no way."

"I know that, I do, but it doesn't help much. Nothing will until I know she's safe. Either back here with us or in Heaven with Ash and the rest of my family. They're all up there, Dean. My mom, my dad, my brother, my… my daughter. Jo should be too if we can't bring her back." Alexis replies. That was what had helped her get through things, knowing they were all in Heaven. And knowing Ash could bring them all together in his Roadhouse Heaven. Knowing that they weren't alone, and that they were more than likely happy, she could keep going. She could keep living and know that when she does die, she'll see them all again.

"She will be. Now let's go see what that dick had to say."

Alexis nods and gets out of the car. She follows Dean up to the front door and the two walk inside, finding Sam and Bobby relatively in the same place they left them in.

"So what'd he have to say for himself? What does he want?" Dean asks, cutting straight to the chase.

"He said he'll have errands for us to run. Didn't say much else." Sam replies. He may have been answering Dean, but he was looking at Alexis. It was killing her, it had to be. If it were him, and Crowley had Dean, it would be eating him alive. Especially knowing that there wasn't much he could do about it.

"Great. So we just wait until he shows up and sends us somewhere? Perfect, just fucking perfect." Alexis mutters. Things just kept getting better and better.

"For now, we're going to have to play along. At least until we can figure out a way around him." Sam says. As much as he hated it, they were going to have to obey Crowley for the time being. But it didn't mean they'd have to like doing it.

"Yeah." she replies with a nod. She knew Sam was right, but that didn't make her hate it any less. "I'm going to run to the store. I need to do something, anything. If I don't, I'll think about it too much and then I don't know what I'll do. So I'm going to bake, and to bake I need ingredients."

The three men all nod.

"Here, take the Impala." Dean says, tossing her the keys.

'You hardly ever let me drive this thing." Alexis replies, catching the keys in her hands.

"She is not a thing. Now go before I change my mind."

She shakes her head and walks off, twirling the keys around her finger.

After they all hear the door shut and the Impala start up, they turn back towards each other.

"We gotta do something. We've got angels who want Lex dead and angels who want the apocalypse back on track, we don't need this. We do not need to be running errands for a demon." Dean says, taking a seat on the couch.

"Not just a demon, the King of Hell." Sam adds.

"What?"

"Apparently he's been promoted. Now he runs Hell."

"Great. Just fucking fantastic." Dean mutters.

"This son of a bitch has got us right where he wants us and he knows it. Now he's even got his damn bones back." Bobby states.

"We've got no choice, we're going to have to do as Crowley says until we find another way." Sam reiterates.

"Unfortunately I think you're right." Dean responds.

* * *

The three of them spend the next few weeks in and out of Bobby's. They took a few random hunts and split them up so only two went on each, leaving two people back at Bobby's. Crowley had showed up twice, sending them on two rather small errands. Alexis was finding it harder and harder to resist punching him in his smug little face.

It wasn't until the first week of November that he showed up with his first big mission. He wanted them to find and capture the Alpha Vampire. All four of them head out, albeit reluctantly, and track the Alpha to his nest. It didn't go off without a hitch, but the job got done and Crowley got the Alpha Vamp. They found out Crowley was looking for Purgatory, but they didn't quite know what he intended to do with it. According to him it was 'untapped potential'. Whatever that meant, it wasn't good.

The more time that passed, the more fed up they were all getting with Crowley. He demanded creatures from them, the higher up the better. Their tolerance was fading fast. In the weeks that followed the Alpha Vamp hunt, Sam, Dean, and Alexis had tackled a skinwalker hunt in Buffalo, New York, and an extremely odd fairy hunt in Elwood, Indiana. Things just seemed to be getting weirder and weirder on the supernatural side of things.

"This whole Purgatory business doesn't sit well with me." Alexis states as she and Sam walk through the back door of Bobby's house. Bobby and Dean had taken a hunt and had sent them back. "And I don't know how much more of Crowley I can take."

"I know, me either. But I don't know what else we can do." Sam replies. Purgatory definitely didn't sound good, and he was getting rather tired of seeing Crowley's smug little face. But he was out of ideas, he'd googled, he'd read books, googled again, and didn't come up with anything. He really didn't know what to do.

"I can't help but feel like this is just going to bite us in the ass. Like…" She trails off when she looks at Sam. She didn't need to say what she was thinking, definitely not to Sam.

"Like what?" he asks. She was clearly going to say something, but when she'd looked at him she trailed off.

"Never mind."

"What were you going to say?" he repeats, not intending to let her drop it.

"Like Ruby, alright? Like Ruby."

"This is nothing like with Ruby." Sam retorts, turning away from her. He didn't know what she was going to say, but he hadn't expected that. They never talked about Ruby, ever. The name alone angered him.

"It's worse. Ruby tricked us, she manipulated you, Sam. She had you, more than anyone else, so turned around and confused that you trusted her, believed in her. And she got what she wanted. But we didn't know that we were letting Lucifer out by killing Lilith. With this, with Crowley, we know what we're doing and yet we're still doing it. Why? For Jo? She's my sister and I love her, but is bringing her back worth giving the King of Hell access to Purgatory?" Alexis says. She'd been mulling that over in her mind ever since she'd heard about Purgatory. Her sister was one of the most important people in her life, but what would she say if they handed Purgatory over to Crowley just to get her back?

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying maybe it's not worth it. I'm saying we stop. There has to be a way around him, someone above him, more powerful than him, that can get Jo back." Biting her lip, she turns away from Sam and walks over to the counter. Her mind was already racing, thinking of people or beings above Crowley. She knew Sam would see straight through it, and she knew he'd try to stop her.

"Hey, don't do that. Don't cut me out." He follows her, not willing to let the topic go. Silence wasn't a good thing with her, it meant she was thinking of something that he wouldn't like. "What are you thinking? What are we supposed to do the next time Crowley has a task for us?"

Alexis grabs a beer from the fridge, popping the cap off as she turns back to face him. Leaning against the counter, she says, "I'm saying we're done. We do one last errand, or maybe not even, and then we tell him to shove it. Enough is enough."

Sam nods and lets out a long breath. "Alright then. What do we do now?"

"Not much we can do until Dean and Bobby get back. But I uh, I want to be alone for a little while." she replies, taking a swig of her beer.

"Don't do this. Don't shut me out again." he says, his eyes pleading with her. "Please."

"Sam… There- there are things I'm willing to do for my sister that you won't like. Things you'd try and stop me from doing. And I can't- I can't let you. So I'll try, I'll try to not shut you out, but there are things I can't let you in on. Because if I do, you'll keep me from doing them. You don't value Jo's life over mine, but- but she's my sister. And there's not much I wouldn't do to make sure she's safe, away from Crowley and Hell in general."

Sam runs a hand through his hair as he lets out a sigh. He understands what she's saying, but he doesn't like it, not at all.

"You'd do the same for Dean."

She had him there. There was nothing he could say to change the situation, because she was right. He would do the same for Dean, hell he'd done worse before. He'd literally tried to trade his own life for Dean's. "You're right. I would. I have. When Dean- when he died and went to Hell, I pushed you away, Lex. And I lost you too. I was completely alone. I tried doing anything, everything, to get Dean back or to get you back. But I couldn't. Nothing I did brought either of you back."

"What are you saying? That anything I try won't work and I'll just lose you too?" she asks, looking at him oddly. She couldn't quite tell what his point was, what he was trying to say.

"No. No. I'm not going anywhere. I'm just saying be careful, alright?"

"I will. I'm uh, I'm going to go downstairs, do some research for a while. I'll come up in a few hours, we can go get dinner or just order something."

"I could cook." Sam suggests.

Alexis tilts her head and raises an eyebrow, was she hearing correctly? "Since when do you cook?"

"I dunno. I could try." he responds with a shrug. He'd never really made anything more complicated than mac and cheese or salad, but he could give it a shot.

"Be my guest. But I'll have a backup plan in mind just in case." She couldn't resist teasing him. Dean was a pretty good cook at times. She didn't know what to expect from Sam. "Besides, whatever you come up with can't be worse than my brother's cooking."

"Matt couldn't cook?" he asks. It was rare she ever brought up Matt, let alone would talk about him. He was curious, but he never pried. It wasn't his place.

Alexis laughs and shakes her head. "No. Not at all. We had a dog once, and even she wouldn't eat anything he made. He was the worst cook I've ever seen. Managed to screw up canned soup! Matt was good at a lot of things, but cooking was most definitely not one of them." She couldn't help but recall the memory of the time Matt tried to make canned soup for the three of them, when their parents were out for the night, and he'd somehow ended up causing the smoke detectors to go off.

"How do you screw up canned soup?"

"I honestly don't know. But he managed to do it." she replies, a smile etched across her face.

"You don't talk about him much." Sam says cautiously. Matt was a very touchy subject, he knew that.

"It hurts to. I miss him, every day. But I know he's in Heaven, I know he's happy up there. And that's what I tell myself when I need to. He's happy, and he's not alone. But Jo, Jo isn't. And I either need her back here with us, or I need to know she's in Heaven too, that's she's not alone or scared."

"I get it, I really do."

She takes a deep breath before setting her now empty beer bottle down on the counter. "I should go, start some research. And leave you to your cooking. I'll come up if I hear smoke detectors."

Sam shakes his head as he watches her walk off towards the basement. Now he just needed to figure out what he could possibly cook and not screw up.

* * *

Nearly three hours later, Sam had finished dinner. He'd found a recipe online, gone to the grocery store, then came back and cooked. He was just hoping it turned out alright. He'd also decided to make chocolate covered strawberries for dessert, which needed to set in the fridge for at least a half an hour. So after he'd put them in the fridge, he set the table and called Alexis up.

"Well I didn't smell any smoke, so I guess that's a good sign." she teases as she emerges from the basement. "What'd you make?"

"Something called Champagne Risotto? It looked good, and relatively simple."

"Well it smells good." Alexis replies, walking over towards the table, which had actually been set for once. "Let me guess, you're going to serve Champagne with it?"

"Well I do have an open bottle now." Sam responds with a small smile. "Now let's figure out if this is actually edible."

She nods and takes a seat as Sam pours champagne for the both of them and takes his seat as well. Once he does, she takes the first taste of the food. It looked edible, good even, so she figured it was safe. "It's good."

"Really?"

Alexis nods, "Yeah. Eat some."

They spend the rest of the night as if they were a normal couple and this was a regular occurrence. They finish dinner without a mention of anything involving hunting. They ate the strawberries on the couch while they watched a movie, and Alexis fell asleep with her head on Sam's shoulder. Not having the heart to try and move her, Sam pulled a blanket over the both of them and fell asleep too.

* * *

_A/N: As you can probably tell, I'm really plowing through season 6. With taking out the soulless!Sam storyline, it didn't leave much. So I decided I''d take out the Campbell's as well, and give Crowley something else to hold over Sam, Dean, and Alexis. I'm not too happy with this chapter, but it's the best I could seem to get out. It's been almost a month since my last update, so I didn't want to dwell on this chapter any longer. I don't really know how many people continuously read this story anyway, so maybe it doesn't matter all that much. _


	49. Lone Ranger

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. However, Alexis is my own original character.**

* * *

**Chapter 49: Lone Ranger**

Despite it being a chilly Winter night, Alexis had decided to go for a walk. Bobby had gone to help another hunter, Garth, with a hunt, so only Dean had returned. The three of them had been at Bobby's since, trying to come up with some sort of game plan. Walking was one of the best ways Alexis had to clear her head and do some thinking, so she'd been doing more of it lately. She was nearly at the park that she was headed for when she hears a voice come from behind her, a voice she'd never forget. It was permanently seared into her brain.

"Little late to be out by yourself, don't ya think?"

Alexis spins on her heels, her hand already reaching for the knife at the small of her back. "Meg."

"No need for weapons. I'm here to talk." the demon responds in a honeyed voice, stepping closer.

Alexis scoffs, "Yeah, right. And I'm here to spread sunshine and joy all around." Pulling the knife out, she asks, "Why shouldn't I just kill you here and now? You nearly got me and my sister killed."

"But I didn't. Besides, you didn't think I'd actually show up without an insurance policy, did you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Knife still in hand, she doesn't waver. One advantage of having having the Roadhouse in her life, she developed an excellent poker face.

The demon reaches into her back pocket, revealing a small black flip phone. Meg flips open the phone, presses the first number on speed dial, and presses the speaker option.

Alexis could hear the phone ringing, calling who knows who or what. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't nervous about what she was going to hear on the other hand.

"Hello?" a gravelly voice answers.

"Put the boys on." Meg demands. When she hears the click, signifying she'd been put on speaker, she says, "Hello, boys."

"Meg." a voice spits, venom seeping into the name.

It was definitely Dean. She'd know his voice anywhere. "Dean?"

"Lex?" another voice asks.

That was Sam. "Sam?" she asks, now glaring at Meg. "What the hell do you want?"

"Whatever it is don't-" Dean's voice is cut off by what sounding like a punch.

Meg flips the phone shut, ending the call. "Well that's enough of that. Now what do you say we put the knife away and talk? And no funny business. If they don't hear from me in fifteen minutes, your precious boys are dead."

"I repeat, what the hell do you want?" Alexis asks, reluctantly sliding her knife back into it's place.

"Face time with your boss."

"My boss? I don't have a damn boss."

"I happen to know that you, Dean-o, and your precious Sammy have all been running errands for Crowley. So you get me face time with him and you'll never hear from me again."

"You think because we've been working for him we actually get face time? He's the damn king down there now. Haven't seen him in weeks." Alexis replies, stepping closer to the demon. She could see it now. Meg was running, and she was scared and angry. It was all over her face. She chuckles, seeing now that neither she or the boys were in any real danger.

"What's so funny?"

"You. You won't hurt me, and you won't have Sam and Dean killed either. You need us. You're scared. And you're angry. I'm guessing Crowley's cleaning house, right? Wants all Lucifer loyalists dead. And that means you're on his hit list."

"Is that so?" Meg asks, cocking her head.

Meg wasn't very tall, nor was she all that threatening at the moment. Alexis knew she could take her easily. But maybe, just maybe she could use her instead. "I'd bet money on it. But, seeing as there aren't many people who want Crowley dead more than I do, I say you've got a deal. With a few conditions of course."

"And those would be?"

"Crowley has something that doesn't belong to him. I want it back. You get that, and he's all yours. Of course we come with you. Can never trust demons, you know." Though she wasn't too thrilled about working with one demon to solve her problem with another, it would result in Crowley's demise. Permanently. And then, once they had Jo's soul back, they could double cross Meg, eliminate her too.

"Whatever it is, I can get it. I just want the smarmy little dick dead."

"Then I think we have a deal. You can call your dogs off. Once I figure out where the dick is, we'll be in touch."

"Pleasure doing business with you." Meg replies before disappearing into the trees, leaving the phone she'd spoken with the boys on behind her.

"Great, just great." Alexis mumbles to herself as she walks over to pick up the phone. She was guessing that would be her only way to reach Meg. Phone in hand, she heads back towards Bobby's.

At the door she's greeted with two overly concerned Winchesters.

"Are you okay? Did she hurt you?" Sam asks, his eyes scanning her body for any sign of injury.

"What the hell did she want?" Dean adds in, also scanning her over, making sure she was okay.

"I should be the one asking you two that. You were here, held up by demons." Alexis replies, scanning the two of them as they were her.

"And you were with Meg. Alone." Sam responds. Initially he'd been glad Lex had gone for a walk and was out, but when he heard her on the other end of the phone with Meg, he got incredibly worried. Of all the demons, Meg was one of the last ones anyone would want to be alone with.

"I'm fine. She didn't touch me. Just wanted to talk."

"Meg? Wanted to talk? Yeah, right. What happened?" Dean says, not buying it.

"I'm serious. She really just wanted to talk, well more make threats and demands."

"What exactly happened?" the eldest Winchester questions.

"I need a beer first." Alexis states, brushing past the boys and heading for the kitchen. She could feel them both right on her heels. It was clear they weren't going to back off even an inch until she spilled the beans. "You don't have to be right on my ass. I'm fine, and what I have to say can wait a minute until I get a damn beer, alright? Just go sit in the living room."

With that, she feels them both back off. Dean walks away, but Sam doesn't. "Sam, just go. Please."

"Hell no. Not until you tell me what happened. And I mean exactly what happened. Because I can see you trying to figure out what to say and what not to."

"What? Do you think I'm just going to lie to you both and go make a deal with her or something?" Alexis asks, turning back to face him, beer in hand.

"Honestly, Lex? I don't know, maybe. Because I did the same thing when it was Dean."

"Well I'm not you, Sam. And I'm not alone either. I could never do that to you, ever. I just don't like what I have to say. I don't like what she got me to agree to. And I don't like that she used you two to get me to."

"What is it?" he asks. He could see it now, she was mad. She wasn't hurt, she wasn't trying to hide something, she was pissed. But he didn't know why.

"She got me to make a deal."

"What?!" Sam asks, feeling like his eyes were about to pop out of his head.

"Not a soul deal. Just a deal. Come on, I don't want to have to repeat myself." she replies, brushing past him once again, heading for the living room where Dean was waiting.

"Alright, now what exactly is going on? And I mean exactly. No leaving stuff out." Dean states. He knew her, and he knew she'd leave stuff out if she felt it would either protect them, or allow her to do something they wouldn't want her to.

"She wants Crowley dead. At first she demanded to have face time with him, then said she had you two as insurance that I wouldn't just kill her then and there. Which I sure as hell wanted to. I called her bluff. She needs us. She's scared, she's running. Crowley's cleaning out the Lucifer loyalists. And she's on that list, high up on it I assume. So she wants him dead." Alexis begins to explain, pausing to pop the cap on her beer and take a swig.

"And then what happened?" Sam asks.

"I told her she had a deal, with some conditions. She get's Jo's soul back, not that she knows that's what Crowley has yet, and we go with. She's not screwing us over, but we'll double cross her. She kills Crowley, we then gank her. After we get Jo back that is."

"So you agreed to work with one demon to get us out of working with another? Come on." Dean says. He wanted Meg dead, he didn't want to be working with her.

"It's our best shot. I am done being at Crowley's beck and call. If you want to continue, go right ahead. But I'm done, and I'm working with Meg temporarily. What you two decide to do is up to you, but I'm getting my sister's soul back." Alexis says, shutting down any attempt at swaying her. She wasn't going to hear it. "I'll be downstairs."

The brothers watch her leave, neither getting up to follow her. "She's kinda scary when he's angry." Dean states.

"That she is."

"What do you think we should do?" the eldest asks. He was curious to hear Sam's view on this. Sam probably hated Meg the most out of the three of them, which was saying a lot.

"Even though she made it sound like we have a choice, we don't. We can't let her go with Meg to face Crowley. That's pretty much guaranteeing her death, one of them would kill her. And that sure as hell isn't happening." Sam says, taking a deep breath. "Besides, I think she might actually be right. If we want Crowley off our back, permanently, we let Meg kill him. We get Jo back, and then we kill Meg. And we bring Cas for insurance or something."

"And hope this doesn't come back to bite us in the ass? Great, sounds like a plan."

"Well there's no way we're getting her to change her mind, and there's no way I'm letting her go alone. So I'd say it's the only plan we've got." Sam responds. He wasn't too thrilled about this situation, he truly despised Meg, but he didn't see another way.

"Well, it either works, or we all get ourselves killed. Sounds like most things we do. I guess we see if we can get Cas to show his face and locate Crowley."

"Yeah. I'm going to go see if I can talk her into getting some sleep. Meg seems to really have unnerved her, which is exactly what she didn't need right now."

"She not sleeping much again?" Dean asks as his brother stands up.

"No, not much. But I can't really blame her. I mean, when you died, Dean, and went to Hell, I barely slept. I drank, and I pushed everyone away. Lex included. I left. She was hurting too, and I just left her. And she died a few months later. And now, with it being reversed, with it being Jo, she hasn't left. She hasn't tried to make a deal. She's playing this better and smarter than I did, I really don't have room to tell her what she should or shouldn't be doing."

"She still needs to be sleeping. She's no good to anyone if she's exhausted."

"Yeah, I know. But there's not a lot I can do without making things worse." Sam responds before heading over towards the basement door.

* * *

Sam finds Alexis sitting at her laptop, typing away at it. Her posture alone told him that she was stressing, more so than usual. "Lex?"

Though she hears him call her name, she doesn't acknowledge it. She didn't want to break her concentration.

"Why don't you put the computer away for the night? Get some sleep?" he asks, walking over and taking a seat on the bed.

"Can't. Gotta figure out how to find Crowley."

"We'll have Cas do a locator spell."

"In case you haven't noticed, Cas hasn't exactly been the most reliable guy lately." Alexis replies, still not looking away from the screen. There had to be something, somewhere, that would allow her to find Crowley. There just had to be.

"We'll get him here, alright? But you need to get some sleep." She hadn't even looked at him yet, and her voice was pretty much void of emotion. She was definitely on overdrive, and it wasn't doing anyone any good, least of all her.

"No time."

"You've barely been sleeping, Lex. There's time." He wasn't giving up. He was getting her to sleep, even if it meant he had to pester her until she agreed to do so.

"No, no." she replies firmly, finally swiveling around to face Sam. "I need to get my sister back, Sam. I need to."

"And we will. But if you keep this up, if you keep not sleeping, you're going to pass out again, and spend days or more in the hospital _again_. That won't help anyone. And it certainly won't get Jo back any quicker."

"But-" she attempts to protest, but Sam cuts her off before she could say another word.

"No buts. Do you want to end up in the hospital again?"

Alexis shakes her head. The hospital was the last place she wanted to be.

"Then shut the computer and come over here."

Reluctantly she turns back around and shuts the laptop with a sigh. Then she stands up and walks over to the bed, taking a seat opposite of Sam. "This isn't going to do anything. I'm not going to be able to sleep."

"Just try, alright? Then we'll figure out our game plan in the morning. Once we've all gotten some sleep."

"Fine, but I'm not changing." Alexis replies. As she kicks off her shoes, she unclasps her bra and pulls it out from underneath her shirt. Finally she slides out of her pants as well, and then slips underneath the covers in her shirt and underwear. Turning away from Sam, she turns off the light beside her bed.

Seeing that he wasn't going to get anything more out of her, Sam stands up and takes off his plaid shirt, shoes, and pants, so that he was just in his underwear. He then turns off the rest of the lights before sliding into bed. He may have made things worse, but he did get her in bed. And for the moment, that was all he cared about.

* * *

An hour or two later, after Alexis was sure Sam had fallen asleep, she slips out of bed. As quietly as she could, she gathers up her clothes and tip toes out of the room, carefully shutting the door once again behind her. She pulls her pants back on as well as her shoes. Realizing she'd left her bra, she decides to just leave it and go without. It's not like she was chesty and needed a bra almost 24/7, she could go without and it was barely noticeable.

Quietly, Alexis tip toes up the stairs, avoiding the ones she knew were creaky. From the doorway, she glances around and lets out a small sigh of relief when she doesn't find Dean passed out on the couch. He'd actually gone upstairs to bed.

Walking into the kitchen, she grabs an energy drink she'd stashed in the back of the fridge. With that in hand, she grabs the keys to her Camaro and sneaks out the back door. Luckily her car was parked far enough away from the house itself that it wouldn't be heard by Dean in his bedroom. She pops the tab on her energy drink, takes a sip, and slides inside her car, starting the ignition. It felt good to sit in the front of her car, she hadn't driven it in what felt like ages. With the car in reverse, Alexis quietly backs it down the driveway and then pulls away, leaving Bobby's house in her rearview mirror.

She felt a bit guilty just leaving like that, without so much as a note, but if things went well, she could be back before either brother woke up. Though something was telling her that wasn't likely to happen. Left hand on the wheel, she pulls out the phone Meg had left her with her right. Flipping it open, she pulls up the contacts and calls the one named 'Meg'.

Seconds later, the demon's distinctive voice picks up. "Calling so soon?"

"If you still want Crowley, meet me at the abandoned Baker warehouse outside of Sioux Falls. Alone. You show up with even one other demon, you're both dead and Crowley is all mine." Alexis replies, not in the mood for negotiating with Meg. If she didn't think Meg would be useful, she would've left her out entirely. Alexis hangs up the phone before Meg has the chance to say another word.

A half an hour later, just as the clock passed two, Alexis parks her Camaro behind the abandoned warehouse. She takes holy oil, a lighter, her demon blade, the things she needed to summon an angel out of her trunk, her gun loaded with devil's trap bullets, and heads inside. She wasn't giving Castiel a choice, he was going to show up. This ended tonight.

As she was finishing laying the circle of holy oil, she feels someone walk up behind her. Whirling around, her hand flying to the angel blade she had tucked in the side of her jacket, she sees it's Meg. And she'd actually come alone.

"I came alone, against my better judgement. Where are Thing 1 and Thing 2?" Meg asks, eying the place for any hidden traps.

"I came alone too. This ends tonight. You kill Crowley, I get my sister back, and everybody's happy."

Realization, or understanding perhaps, crosses Meg's face. "He has your sister. That's how the dick got you three to work for him."

Alexis nods. "But not anymore."

"What's the angel oil for?"

"You'll see." Alexis says, tossing the lighter to Meg. "As soon as he shows up, light the ring." With that, she walks over to the supplies she'd brought in and had already set up. She begins chanting, and moments later, Castiel appears.

Meg ignites the ring in that instant and Castiel becomes encircled in the ring of holy fire. "What is the meaning of this?" Castiel asks, looking at Alexis in betrayal.

"You're taking us to Crowley." Alexis states, giving the angel a hard stare.

"Am I?" Cas responds, now looking at Alexis curiously. "Why would I take you, and this abomination, to Crowley?"

"Who said you have a choice?"

"You could have just called." the angel states, now glancing between Alexis and Meg in confusion. He had no idea what was going on. He'd known that the three were looking for Crowley, looking to get out of their agreement, but he hadn't expected to see Alexis alone with Meg in the middle of the night.

"Because that has worked out so well lately. You've been M-I-A, Cas. This was the only way I could guarantee you'd show. Now do you know where Crowley is or not?"

"Alexis, what are you doing?" This was out of character for her, or at least he thought it was. He'd never known her to be threatening towards him. He'd never even seen her as scary or harmful. Not once. Until today that is. She had a look of pure anger in her eyes, and something told him she'd hurt anyone and everyone that got in her way if it came to that.

"Answer the question, Castiel."

"Yes. If you let me out, I can take you to him."

"You can take both of us to him, Clarence." Meg adds in.

The angel glances at Meg before facing Alexis once again, silently asking if she was serious about Meg.

Alexis nods, "Both of us. I get my sister back, Meg gets her revenge, a good night is had by all."

"Fine." Cas grumbles. He wasn't pleased about the way things were going down, but he felt he truly had no choice. If he said no, it was quite possible Alexis would kill him, or at least leave him stranded.

"Great."

Meg puts out the fire, setting Castiel free.

Seconds later, the three are no longer standing in the warehouse, but in front of the King of Hell himself. Before a word is said, Castiel rids the room of other demons, leaving the three of them alone with Crowley.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to drop in uninvited?" Crowley says, mildly annoyed.

Alexis whips out her gun, firing a bullet into Crowley's leg and torso. "Devil's trap bullets. You're not going anywhere. Now, I believe you have something that doesn't belong to you." She was in no mood for games or small talk.

"That sister of yours? Is she really worth all this trouble?"

"I want Jo's soul back. Now." Alexis demands.

"Can't."

Crowley then writhes and shouts in pain, courtesy of Meg. Castiel disappears in that moment as well.

"Can't or won't?" Alexis asks, her voice hard.

"I can't. I mean it, I can't. I heard her soul was wandering, stuck, and I took advantage of that, used it to get you three to do what I wanted. I don't have her soul."

Alexis signals to Meg, who continues to torture Crowley, hands free. "The best torturers never get their hands dirty."

Castiel reappears to the left of Alexis, a bag of something in hand.

"What's in the bag, Clarence?" Meg asks.

"Looks like you didn't hide your bones as well as you thought." Castiel states, directed towards Crowley. He pulls out a skull from the bag.

"Impossible." Crowley replies, his face telling a different story.

"Can you or can you not return Jo's soul?" the angel questions.

"I can't."

With the snap of a finger, both the bag of bones and Crowley go up in flames before vanishing altogether. And before Alexis could even turn to face Meg, she had vanished as well.

Alexis couldn't believe it. Crowley had lied about having Jo, and they'd actually believed him. Jo's soul was somewhere in limbo, stuck and alone.

"Alexis, I'm sorry." Castiel says. He could see now that her anger was just covering up fear and pain. He'd had no idea she was hurting that badly, and he felt guilty about not being around much since the accident.

She just shakes her head, not wanting to hear apologies. She needed a new plan and fast. Once Sam and Dean caught up to her, she'd be screwed. Once they found her, they wouldn't let her out of their sight for a second. She knew it. "Where are we?"

"Indiana. Do you want me to take you back to Bobby's?"

"No, actually. Could you bring my car to me? I think I'm going to visit Arizona, she could probably use some help around the house and roadhouse anyway." Alexis says, lying through her teeth. She couldn't have Cas knowing where she was actually going, because without a doubt once the boys figured out she was gone, they'd call for him. And she couldn't have them finding her, not just yet. Not that easily.

The angel nods and disappears, reappearing seconds after. "Your car is outside. I could just take you there, you know."

"No, I want to drive, clear my head and think some things through. Thank you though. I'm uh, I'm sorry I had to summon you to get you here." Truthfully she did feel a bit bad. She still considered him a friend, and he was fighting a war in Heaven. He was busy.

"It's alright. You did what you thought you had to do."

Alexis nods. "Cas, how are things going up there?"

A somber look crosses the angel's face as he says, "Not well."

"If you could ever use my help or anything, just let me know."

Castiel nods. "I should be going now. Be careful, Alexis."

"You too, Castiel."

With that, Alexis is alone. It takes her a minute, but she finds the exit and then her car. After placing her gun back in the trunk, she gets in and starts the car. She'd be in Chicago before the sun came up.

* * *

Peering through barely open eyes, Sam glances at the clock. It was only 4:23 in the morning. Seeing as it was that early, he flips over to fall back to sleep. However, when he sees Alexis' side of the bed is empty, he sits up and turns his bedside light on. His eyes scan the room but find nothing.

Hoping that she had just woken up early and gone upstairs, Sam slides out of bed and pulls on a clean T-shirt and the pair of jeans he'd worn yesterday. That's when he spots her laptop on the desk, exactly where she'd left it last night. His heart begins to race, fearing he wouldn't find her upstairs, or anywhere. Emerging from the basement, he calls out for her. "Lex?"

He's answered with silence. The house was quiet and still. No lights were on, the sun hadn't come up yet so the house was pretty dark, and from what he could tell, Dean was still asleep. Alexis was gone. And there wasn't so much as a note explaining why. "Fuck." he mutters, running a hand through his hair.

As his mind begins to race, dozens of questions whirring around in his brain, he walks over to the stairs that lead upstairs and heads up, walking into the second bedroom on the left, the one Dean slept in. "Dean."

Dean stirs in his bed and rolls over. When he spots Sam standing in his doorway, he sits up and rubs his eyes. "I'm up. What's wrong?"

"She's gone."

"What?" Dean asks, not sure he was hearing correctly.

"She's not here. No note, nothing. She's just gone." Sam responds. What was scaring him the most was that he honestly didn't have the slightest clue as to where she would've gone. Or why she wouldn't have left a note. It wasn't like they had a location for Crowley yet… "Fuck."

"What?"

"Crowley. She must have figured out where he was and gone alone… or just with Meg."

"Fuck." Dean mutters, realizing Sam was probably right. He gets out of bed and pulls on some pants and a shirt before calling out to Cas. "Castiel! We need you pronto!"

The angel appears a moment later. "What is it?"

"Have you seen Lex?" Dean asks.

Castiel cocks his head in confusion. Of course he had. Didn't they know that? "Has she not contacted the two of you?"

"You've seen her?" Sam questions.

"Yes. You didn't know?"

"Know what? We just found out she was gone, Cas." the eldest Winchester says.

"I saw her in Indiana." Castiel responds.

"Indiana? That's not possible. That's too far from here for her to have gotten there." Dean states.

"What exactly happened, Cas?" Sam questions. He was now even more confused than he was before.

"She summoned me to a warehouse. Asked, or well, demanded, that I take her and Meg to Crowley."

"And?" the Winchesters ask simultaneously.

"I did."

"What the hell, Cas? Why would you do that? She could've gotten killed! You too for that matter." Dean exclaims. One glance at his brother told him Sam was right there with him.

"I didn't have much of a choice. Do you want to know what happened or do you just want to shout?" the angel responds, growing impatient. He had better things to do than be shouted at by the Winchesters. But if Alexis had truly gone behind their backs and left them clueless, he felt obligated to help fill them in.

"Sorry." Dean grumbles, "Yes, we want to know what happened."

"Crowley said he could not give Jo's soul back, he didn't have it. I killed him. And then Meg disappeared."

"So she couldn't get Jo back at all? He didn't even have her soul to begin with? Fantastic. Just fantastic." Sam grumbles. He couldn't imagine where her head was at. Or what she was going to do. And that scared him more than anything.

Castiel shakes his head, a sorrowful look on his face.

"What happened after that? You just left her there?" the elder brother asks.

"She asked if I could bring her car there. Said she would go visit Arizona. So I did and then I left."

"What time was it?" Sam questions.

"Around 2:30."

"She's not there yet then." Dean states, knowing she couldn't possibly have made it in under two hours.

"If that's even where she went." Sam adds in.

"Why would she lie?" Cas asks, confusion in his voice.

"Why wouldn't she? If she wants Jo back, she'll do anything. And none of us will like what it is she'll do. So why would she let us find her that easily?" Sam replies. Most of the time he understood her better than Dean or Cas did. He knew she wouldn't tell anyone where she was going. She'd never make herself that easy to find when she didn't want to be found.

Before Dean could say something, Castiel announces he was needed in Heaven. "I- I must go. I can return shortly if you need me."

"Go, we'll find her. Eventually." Sam says. He was pretty sure he knew where she'd go. If Crowley didn't have Jo, and she wasn't in Heaven, then she had to be stuck somewhere on Earth. With no bones to tie her here, it had to be an object. That narrowed it down to the Roadhouse and the apartment in Chicago.

Cas vanishes, leaving the brothers alone once more in the darkness.

"So what do we do?" Dean asks, turning back to face his brother.

"I'm guessing she either went to Chicago or the Roadhouse. If Jo's soul is stuck here, it's got to be in one of those places."

"Alright. Why don't we drive, head in that direction, and then in an hour or two when Arizona would likely actually be awake, we call her and see if she's seen Lex. If she hasn't, we head to Chicago."

Sam nods in agreement.

"But Sammy, we got no idea what we're going to find. What she might be doing, or might have already done. It could be bad." Dean admits. That thought was scaring him. He honestly had no idea how far Alexis would go. What she would resort to, or who.

He knew that, he knew it could be bad, or messy, or both. If she tried hard enough, Alexis could get herself into a real mess in a matter of hours. But he couldn't think like that, he had to pretend that they'd find her and she'd be fine. Brushing off Dean's comment, he says, "I'm going to go change. We should leave soon."

Dean watches his brother walk out and sighs. It wasn't the first time Alexis had left in the middle of the night. They should've seen this coming.

Now they had to return to the very place they'd been avoiding all these months. The place they called home at one time. They had to head back to Chicago.

* * *

_A/N: I've been awful with updates lately, I'm so sorry about that. I know there aren't a ton of you who read this story, or follow it, but I really and genuinely do appreciate every single one of you who do. This will be the last chapter for a while I think. I start college this month, move in is August 18th. I imagine most of this first semester is going to be absolutely nuts. I'll write when I can, but I don't know how much time I'll be able to spend on this story. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! And I'll see you with an update when I can (:_


	50. Soul

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything from it. Alexis is my original character.**

* * *

**Chapter 50: Soul**

The drive to Chicago only took Alexis about 45 minutes. It was 3:21 when Alexis pulled her car into the garage and parked it. She wasn't sure what she was going to find when she walked into the apartment. Especially if Jo's spirit really had been there all these months.

As she walks through her apartment door, all the emotions she'd been suppressing flood to the surface. By leaving Chicago and not looking back, she'd locked away the worst of things. It was like the apartment was this box that held everything she didn't want to think about, and by walking in, the box opened again. For her, the apartment was filled with memories of dead people. Zach, Jo, her mother, even her unborn daughter. It hurt to be there. And the fact that she was there alone at nearly 3:30 in the morning just made it hurt more.

With the flip of a switch, the foyer lights up. Hesitantly she walks into the living room area. She didn't know what to expect. Was she really alone? Would she be greeted with her sister's spirit? Would Jo's spirit be angry or vengeful? She didn't know, and truly she was unprepared. Heading to Chicago by herself was an impulse decision. Just two hours prior, she'd thought her sister's soul was in the hands of the King of Hell.

Alexis turns more lights on, illuminating the rest of the apartment. Then she walks over to the kitchen and grabs a container of salt from the cabinet, just in case. She knew she wouldn't be able to bring herself to shoot Jo, even if she was trying to kill her. And she also knew the boys would track her down soon enough, so if that meant sitting in a circle of salt for hours, she'd do it. Only if she had to. And she was hoping it didn't come to that. That Jo was still Jo, at least mostly.

"Jo?"

A few moments of silence pass, and then, right before her eyes, her sister flickers into view in front of her. Tears form in her eyes as she mumbles, "I- I had no idea you were… stuck here. I'm so sorry."

A small sad smile spreads across Jo's face. "You're here now. You can get me out of here."

"No. I can get you back. I will get you back." Alexis resolves. She wasn't just going to free her sister from Earth, send her to Heaven. She couldn't let her go. Not again.

"Lexie…" Jo trails off. She didn't know what to say. She had most of the whole ghost thing down, but she hadn't interacted with anyone. It was killing her to not able to hug her sister.

"No. I'm getting you back. I just- I just have to think for a minute." Her mind was spinning, trying to come up with something, anything. After a few minutes, she settles on something. It was reckless, and it could very easily not work, but it was all she had. She just had to die, temporarily that is, to do it. "Got it."

"Lex, look at me. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to ask Death to bring you back. I did something for him once. Maybe he'll do something for me... I just have to die to find out."

"Alexis. No. Don't you dare kill yourself to save me. Don't you dare." Jo warns, the lights flickering around them. _Oops, _she thinks. Looks like she did have some slight anger issues after all. But after all these months, she was not about to watch her little sister kill herself to save her.

"Gabe can bring me back. I just need to talk to him, Jo. I need fifteen minutes tops." The flicker of the lights reminds Alexis that though she was standing in front of her sister, Jo wasn't entirely Jo. She was a spirit. One who'd been stuck for months, alone. "I promise I won't trade my life for yours, even if I want to, okay?"

Jo relents, knowing that if the two were reversed, and it was Alexis dead, she'd do the exact same thing. She'd do anything to have her sister back. "Fine."

"I'll uh, I'll need whatever it is you're tethered to I imagine. Any idea what it is? Maybe something of Dad's?"

"When I found myself stuck here, I tried to think of what it could be. I'm pretty sure it's Dad's knife that I've had for years. Top drawer in the dresser in the room I'd usually stay in."

Alexis nods and walks away, headed towards that bedroom. Once she has the knife on her, she heads back out into the living room and places it on a side table, next the salt she'd grabbed earlier. Standing next to her sister, she calls out for Gabriel.

The archangel appears within sixty seconds, and once his eyes land on the two Harvelle sisters, he grows confused. "What's going on?"

"Jo is stuck here, as a spirit. And I'm going to get her back. But I need your help." Alexis explains.

"But you- you burned her bones. I'm afraid there isn't anything I can do." Gabriel says, taking on a tone of empathy.

"That's not what I need. You can still bring back people from the dead, right? If you have their body? Like if I were to die right now, you could bring me back?"

The angel's face darkens, slowly coming to the realization of what Alexis was saying. "What exactly are you planning to do?"

"I need to speak with Death. The only way I know how to do that right now is to be dead. So if I died, could you bring me back in say fifteen minutes?"

"Alexis, that is a terrible idea."

"Can you do it or not?" she asks, not in the mood to be talked out of it. She had her mind made up, and she'd find someone who would help her if Gabriel wouldn't.

"I can. But I would strongly advise against it." Gabe says. He could tell he wasn't going to be able to sway her though. She was determined to get her sister back and there was no way he could stop her.

"I don't care. Will you do it?"

"If I don't, you'll find someone else who will."

Alexis nods. She could tell he wasn't pleased with her, nobody in her life was at the moment, but he was going to do it anyway.

"But for you to die it- it might be best if I do it. Anything else could be too painful, or take too long, or cause damage that's hard to reverse." Gabriel tells her. He didn't want to have to kill her, but he also knew it was the best way for her to die.

She nods again. Dying again wasn't exactly something she was looking forward to, and she knew if either Sam or Dean found out, they would be beyond pissed with her. But she also knew they were already going to be pissed with her, so she didn't really care. She couldn't care about them right now, she had to pretend they didn't exist. That they weren't out there wondering where the hell she was and if she was okay.

"One condition: you let me stay with you when you talk to Death. Not a good idea to be face to face with him alone."

"Fine." Then, taking a deep breath, Alexis adds, "Let's do this."

"Will I be able to see this?" Jo asks. "Alexis' spirit, Death?"

"I believe so, yes." Gabe answers, angling himself so that he could see both Harvelles.

"It'll be a reaper that shows, won't it? Then from there I'll have to get them to call Death?" Alexis asks. She knew Death had to be at least a little difficult to get to, he was one of the four horsemen after all.

"It will likely be a reaper. However, you still have his ring don't you?"

Alexis nods, not having thought of that. She'd hidden Death's separate from the other three, thinking one day she just might need it. She had after all intended to give it back eventually. But chatting with Death wasn't something she exactly did often, so she'd had to time or place to give him back his ring since it had come into her possession in the first place.

"I would say there's a slight chance he'll show off the bat then. You'd be classified as somewhat of a high profile death right now, so that coupled with the fact that you have his ring, might draw his attention."

Taking a deep breath, Alexis nods once more. "Okay then. Let's get this over with."

Gabriel nods, taking a few steps towards Alexis so that he was merely inches in front of her. "I can't guarantee that this won't hurt. And you know there's no guarantee that Death will, or even can, bring Jo back, right?"

"I know, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't try. I've come too far not to." Alexis says. She couldn't give up now, she'd gone too far off the deep end already. She had to see it all the way through. Then, realizing Gabe wanted her to acknowledge his first part as well, she adds, "And don't worry about hurting me. I've been through a hell of a lot worse."

The archangel nods once more before bringing his hand to her forehead. He feels her writhe slightly in pain, and seconds later she begins to fall. Catching her before she hits the ground, Gabriel pulls her body into his arms and places her gently on the couch.

"Woah." Alexis breathes, seeing her own dead body on the couch. "Never actually seen myself dead before. Weird."

"How do you feel?" Gabriel asks, whirling around the moment he'd heard her voice.

"Fine. Just want to get this over with."

Before either Jo or Gabe could say anything, another voice interrupts, an unmistakeable one. "To what do I owe this inconvenience?"

Alexis immediately turns to her left, towards the kitchen, and sees Death sitting at the counter. With her prior knowledge of Death, she decided to just be straightforward, "I um, I have a question for you."

"A question? You know, Alexis, I am quite busy." Death replies, giving her somewhat of an uncomfortable stare.

"I know."

"Well, I'm already here, I suppose I can get some pizza after. Now get on with it."

"Is there a way you could bring my sister, Jo, back to life?" Alexis asks, glancing over at her sister's ghost.

"Can I? Yes. But what would I get out of it?"

"Name something you want me to do and you've got it. And I do have your ring if you want that back."

Death pauses for a moment, looking over each being before him. Gabriel, the archangel, and then the ghosts of two of the Harvelle sisters. One was missing, one was always missing. Not that he particularly cared. "I suppose I could use you in the future, you do possess a unique ability. If you promise to do whatever it is I'll need you for, without any questions when it arises, then yes, I can bring your sister back."

Not allowing any room for either Gabe or her sister to object, Alexis quickly agrees. "Of course. Whatever it is, whenever. You've got it."

"Then it looks like we have a deal. It will take some time for me to gather what I need." With that, Death disappears and leaves the three in silence.

Jo speaks first, breaking the tense silence that had built up. "I cannot believe you just did that."

"Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't have done it for me?" Alexis responds, turning towards her sister.

"No, because I probably would've tried. It's not me you're going to have a problem with Lexi, you just saved my life. Or well, got me my life back. It's Sam you're going to have a problem with. Dean too. Because judging by their noticeable absence, I'm guessing you split in the middle of the night and they have no idea where you are or what you're doing."

"I can deal with them. I will deal with them. I- I got you back, and right now that's all I care about."

As Jo opens her mouth to respond, she feels something tugging her away. And before she could get a word out, she vanishes.

Growing panicked at the sudden disappearance of her sister, Alexis turns to Gabe.

"I'm assuming Death grabbed her. The knife you had there," Gabe says, motioning towards the coffee table, "disappeared. He needs her soul to put her back on Earth. Now I need to do the same to you."

And just like that, everything goes momentarily black once again.

Alexis awakes with a gasping breath, jolting forward on the couch. Somehow, coming back to life felt weirder than dying.

"Do you feel okay?" Gabriel asks, looking at her with concern.

She nods, immediately sitting herself up and glancing around the apartment, searching to see if her sister had reappeared. "Little winded, almost feels a bit like jet lag, but I'm okay."

Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening rings through the apartment, followed by footsteps. Alexis immediately stands up, instinctively knowing it was Jo. As soon as her sister rounds the corner, she runs to her. The two collide with enough force that they end up falling to the ground, their arms wrapped around each other.

"You're- you're alive." Alexis breathes as a tear slides down her cheek.

Jo, still holding onto her sister, pulls them both up into a seated position on the floor. With watery eyes, she nods and says, "You did it."

After a minute the two separate and help each other off the floor.

"Well, guess my job's done here. I should be going. Just do me a favor and stop dying or almost dying, alright?" Gabriel says.

"We'll do our best. Thanks, Gabe. Really." Alexis replies sincerely. She'd never be able to repay Gabe for all the things he'd done for her. He really was like a guardian angel.

With a nod, the angel vanishes.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you." Alexis says, turning to face her sister once again.

"Feeling's mutual." Jo responds, wrapping an arm around her sister's shoulders. "Now, I don't know about you, but I am starved."

"It's nearly four am, so our options are limited. 24 hour McDonald's sound okay to you?"

"Never thought I'd say this, but McDonald's sounds like heaven right now."

Alexis chuckles and says, "McDonald's it is then."

* * *

_A/N: Super short chapter, I know. I've been having a hard time writing lately, and this is what I've had sitting around for at least two months. I decided I'd upload what I had anyway. Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things and get this story moving again. I am working now, so I am a lot busier, but hopefully you'll be seeing a new chapter before next month. I hope you enjoyed this chapter nonetheless. Thank you so much for reading! _


	51. Not Alone

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it. Alexis is my original character.**

* * *

**Chapter 51: Not Alone**

The two Harvelle sisters return around 5:25. "Now, you look about as exhausted as I feel, so I think it's safe to say we both need sleep."

Alexis nods. Now that she had her sister back, now that she knew her sister was safe, maybe she'd actually be able to sleep.

"But first, you're calling Sam."

"Do I have to?" Alexis asks, not entirely wanting to talk to either Winchester at the moment. "They'll find me. Eventually."

"Lex, call." Jo insists. She should've made her sister call before they'd even left for food. Sam, and Dean for that matter, had to be worried sick.

Alexis rolls her eyes and reaches for her phone. When she turns it on the missed call and new text notifications roll in, one after another. All in all, she had 39 missed calls and 27 unread texts. Most were from Sam, then Dean, then Arizona, a few from Bobby, and even a couple from Cas. According to the last text from Dean, he and Sam were on their way to Chicago. Reluctantly, she dials Sam.

**-Impala, parked at a gas station somewhere in Southern Minnesota-**

Just as Dean pops the tab on his Red Bull, something typically only Alexis did, he hears a phone ring. He recognized the ringtone immediately, it was the one Sam had set for Alexis. Seeing as Sam was still inside the gas station, Dean reaches over and answers his brother's phone. "Lex."

"Dean?" Alexis asks, pulling her phone away from her cheek as she checks to see if she dialed right.

"Yeah, it's me. Where the hell are you?" Dean asks as he waves one arm, attempting to get his brother's attention.

"Chicago. You're already on your way. I'll explain when you get here."

"Lex, wait-" Dean begins, trying to get her to stay on the line. Hearing a click on the other end, he realizes she'd hung up.

"Who was that?" Sam asks as he slides into the passenger side of the car.

"Lex." Dean replies, still staring at the phone.

"What!? What'd she say? Is she okay? Where is she?" Sam questions, firing one question after another at his brother.

"Said she was in Chicago, she'd explain when we got there. Then she hung up."

"Did she sound okay?"

"I don't know, man. She didn't say much, but for the first time since the accident, I didn't hear that underlying pain in her voice. She sounded exhausted, but she didn't sound like she was hurting. Not anymore." Dean says, handing the phone back to Sam before starting the car.

"You think she got Jo back?"

"I don't think she would've called if she hadn't."

Sam nods, letting the information sink in. "Well I guess we better get going."

The rest of the drive is spent in relative silence, both brothers lost in their own thoughts. Finally, around noon, they pull into the parking lot of the apartment building in Chicago.

"I've been trying to think about what she possibly could've done to get Jo back, but anything I can come up with involves a demon deal." Sam says as he unbuckles his seatbelt. Anything he could think of involved Alexis dying. He couldn't see any other way around it.

"She wouldn't. We're just going to have to go up there and hear what she has to say, even though we're not going to like it." Dean responds. There was no easy or clean way to bring someone back from the dead, especially when their body had been burned.

Sam sighs and opens the door, sliding out of the car. Dean was right, no matter what she did, they weren't going to like it. And now, now that he wasn't out looking for her and wondering where the hell she was, now that he knew and was about to go face her, his concern was fading and anger was replacing it.

The two brothers head up and are greeted with silence when they walk into the apartment. "She said she was here, right?" Sam asks as he walks down the hall.

"She said Chicago. She's gotta be here." Dean replies, trailing behind his brother. "Maybe she went to bed? I mean, it was five in the morning, and clearly she was up all night."

Realizing his brother had a point, he nods. She had to be exhausted, and if Jo was back, then she likely was able to sleep much more easily. So he heads towards their room, Dean right behind him. He cracks the door open enough to stick his head in. He immediately spots two heads, one blonde, one brunette. Jo and Alexis were both there, both asleep. After laying eyes on her, Sam lets out a sigh of relief and shuts the door.

Dean sighs in relief as well. He hadn't quite realized just how much he'd missed Jo until he'd seen her. "They're both here, they're both alive."

Sam nods. He still wanted to know what happened, and he was definitely still angry with Lex, but it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, seeing Jo back. Some pain was gone. They would always deal with loss and pain from the accident, that would be with them all forever, but having Jo back relieved some of that pain. "We should let them sleep. I don't know about Jo, but I know Lex has to be completely exhausted."

"Yeah, Lex can explain when she wakes up. Now how about we order some food."

Sam just shakes his head, not at all surprised that Dean's next thought was food.

* * *

An hour later, a little after one, Alexis wakes up. Seeing that next to her, her sister was still asleep, she attempts to slip out of bed without waking her. However, once she walks back out of her closet, having changed clothes, she finds her sister awake. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, but that's probably not a bad thing. It's one o'clock." Jo replies, getting up. "Can I just wear something of yours? I think Sam and Dean are here so I don't really want to walk out there just to get to the stuff I have here."

Alexis nods. "Want me to wait for you, or walk out there first?"

"Go ahead, I think I'm going to grab a quick shower. I think you're the one they're looking to hear an explanation from anyway."

"Sam probably wants to kill me, or handcuff himself to me so that he can't lose sight of me again."

"You did leave in the middle of the night without so much as a note." Jo responds. If she were Sam or Dean, she'd probably be a little pissed with Lex too.

"Time to face the music I guess." Alexis says. Besides, there was nothing they could say that would change the fact that she had her sister back. So with that final thought, she takes a deep breath and walks out into the living room.

"Look who's finally awake." Dean says, turning his head towards the bedroom door as soon as he hears movement.

The three of them stand in an awkward tense silence for a few minutes, all just staring at one another.

"I believe you have some explaining to do." Dean says, realizing neither Alexis or Sam intended on saying anything.

"I got Jo back. Nobody made any demon deals. She's fine, I'm fine, everybody's fine. Can you please just leave it at that?" She really didn't want to explain everything, it would only make them more upset with her. Besides, there wasn't anything they could do about it. What's done is done.

Dean glances at his brother. He was ready to leave it at that, but he wasn't so sure Sam was. "I'm uh, I'm going to leave you two to talk." he says before quickly exiting the room.

Sam hadn't said anything yet. He looked like he was about to snap. He was clearly more upset with her than she expected, and he didn't even know what she'd done to get Jo back yet. "Sam." she prompts, figuring it was better to just get it over with now.

"I've been trying to figure what in the hell you could've possibly done to get Jo back. Every single thing I come up with involves a demon deal. I don't see any other way. She- she was dead, we burned her bones. Nobody comes back from that without things getting messy." Sam says, pausing a moment to keep himself from exploding. He didn't want to yell at her, he truly just wanted to know what happened. "Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't make a demon deal."

Underneath his anger, Alexis could hear fear. She scared him more than anything, and for that she really did feel sorry. She locks eyes with him and says, "I told you I wouldn't. I didn't."

"Tell me you didn't make any sort of deal at all. Demon or not."

"Sam-" she begins, her eyes shifting to the floor.

"Lex, tell me you didn't make a deal. With anyone." Sam repeats, now fearful of her answer.

"I can't."

"What did you do?" he asks, barely keeping himself composed now.

"Death brought Jo back." Alexis replies quietly.

"Death. You made a deal with one of the four horsemen. What the hell, Lex?" He begins to pace, not sure what he should say.

"I just- I just owe him a favor. That's it. It's not really a big deal."

"Not a big deal? You're kidding, right?" Sam says, exasperation evident in his voice. "Forgetting to take the trash out is not a big deal. Buying the wrong beer is not a big deal. Owing Death a favor is a big deal."

Alexis didn't know what to say. There wasn't anything that would make Sam less pissed at her right now. Whatever she said was just going to make it worse, and at the moment she almost didn't even care. She knew Sam would've done the same thing for Dean, hell he'd tried to do worse before. "What's done is done, Sam. I can't go back and undo it, and I wouldn't even if I could. I got my sister back. If I have to do something for Death, so be it. If you can't deal with that, that- that's not my problem. I'm not doing this, I'm not going to stand here while you yell and I'm not going to yell at you. So when you figure out what it is you're going to do, you'll be able to find me."

* * *

Dean hadn't gone far. He heard the entire conversation, if you could call it that, from the hallway. Once he hears the apartment door slam shut, he reemerges, finding his brother alone in the living room. It was Lex that had walked out. He honestly expected the reverse. "You uh, you probably don't want to hear this right now, but she has a point. There's nothing you can do about what she did. And you know damn well you would've done the same thing for me or for her."

Before Sam could say anything in response, they hear movement from the bedroom.

"Not a good time?" Jo says quietly as she appears in the doorway. She had heard everything as well.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you." Dean says, a smile on his face.

Sam nods, signaling the sentiment was the same for him too.

"It's good to see you guys too." Jo replies, walking over towards the two brothers.

"I can't be the only one upset with her." Sam says, his mind still entirely focused on Alexis.

"No, but you can't put her up on this pedestal, Sam. She's allowed to make mistakes, she's allowed to do things without thinking them all the way through. God knows you and I have, many, many times." Dean responds.

"He's right. I mean, I had to see the whole thing happen. There was no talking her out of it, and I knew even if I wanted to, it wasn't fair. Because I knew that if the situation were reversed, I'd have done the exact same thing. She's my sister and I love her, and I'd do anything for her. So I can't be that mad at her because I know it's the same way for her." Jo adds. She hated hearing Sam and Alexis fight. She understood where Sam was coming from, but she also knew he was being a little unfair. "So really, you just have to let this go. I'm here, she's fine, and there's no changing what happened. Nothing good will come from being angry about it."

"I was an ass, wasn't I?" Sam says, realizing both Jo and Dean had a point and that he may have overreacted.

"Little bit." Jo and Dean respond in unison.

"I suppose I should go find her then."

Sam walks out, leaving Dean and Jo alone.

"It's really good to see you, Jo. Hasn't been the same without you." Dean says sincerely.

"It's good to see you too, Dean. Really good."

"You and Alexis both make that face when you want to ask something but aren't sure you should. What is it?" Dean responds. Between the two of them, he'd seen that face numerous times.

"How have things been? I mean really, give me a real answer. What's happened since you guys left Chicago?"

"It's been rough. There've been better days, and days where it didn't seem like it could possibly get any worse, until it did. Lex hasn't been the same, none of us have. She just pulled away, from everyone. We've mostly been hunting, and she really just buried herself in that. We all did I guess. But you're back now, and I can already tell that it's different. It's better."

Jo nods, not entirely sure how to respond, so she doesn't. She was going to have to keep a close eye on her sister for a bit, try and figure out where her head was at and how she could help.

* * *

Sam finds Alexis on the roof. She turns to face him when she hears the door shut behind him. "I overreacted, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." she responds, turning her head away, back to the view of the city.

"No, it's not." Sam says, walking over to her.

"You have a right to be mad, Sam. I just wanted you to understand, that's all."

"I do. You did what you had to do to get your sister back. I would've done the same for Dean, or you. I get it."

"I'm sorry I scared you, I really am. But what's done is done, and I really would rather we just put this behind us. Can we do that?" she asks, looking up at him. She truly did understand his side of it, and if he couldn't let it go right now, she'd get it. She was just hoping he could let it go.

Sam nods, "Yeah, we can."

"Good." Raising herself up on the tips of her toes, she places a kiss on his cheek.

He wraps an arm around her shoulder and says, "Let's go back inside."

* * *

_A/N: Small chapter, I know. I'm sorry. I'm also sorry that I haven't updated since November and it's now February. Yikes. I've kind of lost my way with this story and I've also been super busy with work and classes. This story is still in progress, it's just very slow progress. I still know my end game, I know where I want to be. I just have to figure out how I'm going to get there. I feel like I've lost my ability to write anything, which sounds ridiculous but it's how it feels. Anyway, to those of you reading this, thank you thank you thank you. I genuinely appreciate it. If you're reading this the same day I'm publishing it, happy Valentine's Day 3 Hopefully something new will be up soon.  
(p.s. I could not for the life of me think of a song to title this chapter after, so this one doesn't make much sense in relation to the chapter)_


	52. Something About December

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or anything in it, Alexis is my original character.**

* * *

**Chapter 52: Something About December**

The four spend the the next two weeks in Chicago, easily falling back into their old rhythm, almost. It wasn't quite the same, it never would be. The accident had still happened, Ellen was still gone. Everybody still felt the pain from it, but it became more and more dull with every passing day. It was a part of them at this point. It always would be.

Since April, since the accident, time had been off. They weren't really aware of the month it was, much less the date. Christmas had crept up on them without them even realizing. Suddenly it was December 22nd and nobody had put decorations up, bought gifts, or anything. Alexis was up before anyone else that morning and had finally looked at a calendar. She decides to head to the store to pick up some ingredients, leaving a note behind for the Winchesters and her sister. She couldn't let Christmas pass without doing some sort of holiday baking. She just couldn't.

Once at the store, she goes a little overboard. She picks up ingredients for both apple pie and pecan pie, sugar cookies, and red velvet cupcakes. If they timed it right, they could head to Arizona's for new years and she could bring cookies and a pie with. It would be nice to start 2012 surrounded by friends and family. Maybe with 2011 finally coming to an end, she could have a fresh start. She had Jo back, she and Arizona were back on good terms, she and Dean were back to normal, and she and Sam had found a new normal. In some ways, it was better, they were closer than before.

Alexis returns around 9:30 in the morning, finding that Sam, Dean, and Jo were all still asleep. She liked baking when nobody was around to interrupt her, so she puts away all of the ingredients except for the ones for a pie crust. She was going to start with an apple pie, two actually, because when making pie, you pretty much have to allot a whole pie just for Dean.

As she was slicing the apples, Sam walks out of the bedroom, bedhead and all. "You're up early." he states.

"It's after 10."

"Really?" Sam questions, glancing at the clock on the microwave. "Damn."

"It's also almost Christmas."

"I didn't even realize. It kinda feels like we've been suspended in time since May. In ways it feels like it's been years since the accident, in other ways it feels like it was just last week." Sam responds, taking a seat at the counter.

"Right? I think I'm ready for this year to finally be over. I was thinking we could spend Christmas here, then maybe all four of us could head down to Arizona's for New Years."

"I think that sounds like a good plan. Start 2012 with everybody around. And hope to hell it's a better year than this one."

"I don't honestly know how it could be much worse." Alexis responds, tossing the last few apple slices into her bowl.

"Good point. Let's hope we never find out."

Alexis nods as she reaches for her sugar mixture that she needed to coat the apples in.

"Apple pie?" Sam questions.

"Two. One for Dean, one for the rest of us."

"Of course."

Sam moves to make eggs while Alexis finishes up her pies and puts them in the oven.

"Scramble an egg for me, would you?" she asks, pulling a bottle of Propel out the fridge.

Sam nods, reaching for another egg. He finishes his and then hers. The two sit at the counter and eat in relative silence.

"So how's being back here? You still doing okay?" Sam asks, looking up from his plate to meet her eyes.

"Better than I thought. Jo being back is uh, is really good. It's almost normal again."

He nods, he'd felt the same. "You think you want to go back to hunting though? After the holidays?"

"Yeah. Maybe split the time between here, Arizona's, Bobby's, and hunting. I'm not ready to be back here yet, not the way we were before." Alexis responds. While she could tolerate being in the city, in the apartment, she couldn't bring herself to call it home again. Not yet. The terrible memories were still far too painful, too recent.

"I think that sounds good. And we don't have to stay together all the time, all four of us. If Dean wants to hunt more, if Jo doesn't want to hunt at all, whatever. I wouldn't mind it just being the two of us for a week or so." It hadn't been just the two of them in quite some time, and he was getting a little anxious for some alone time. No Dean, no Jo, just them.

"Maybe Jo will stick around the roadhouse and Dean will head out on a few hunts with Bobby after New Years. We could take my car to Zona's, Dean and Jo could take the Impala. Then we could head somewhere, maybe to that little B&amp;B we liked in Nashville for a few days."

"Sounds like a good plan to me."

She nods in agreement. She was ready for some alone time with Sam too, no siblings around, just them.

"What smells so good?" Dean asks, emerging from the hallway.

"Your favorite." Alexis replies, a small smile on her face.

"You made pie?" he responds, resembling a kid on Christmas morning.

"Sure did."

"Have I told you how much I love you lately?"

"Never hurts to hear it." Alexis responds, standing up, her plate and Sam's in hand.

"So how long before I can get a slice of that pie?" Dean asks a minute later.

"Considering that it's still in the oven, I'd say a couple hours."

"Damn. Guess I'll have to catch up on some TV while I wait."

"What could you possibly have to catch up on?" she asks. "Wait, don't tell me, Dr. Sexy?"

"Maybe."

"How many times do I have to tell you that Grey's Anatomy is better?"

"I have to agree with her, I actually kinda pay attention to it now." Sam chimes in.

"Sometimes I question how we're related." Dean responds while walking over to the couch.

Sam just shakes his head and chuckles. He'd watch as much Dr. Sexy as he had to if it meant things would be good again. He wanted things to be good again, he needed them to be.

* * *

_A/N: I'm aware this is super small, but I figured I might as well upload it since I had it. I'm really trying to get back into this story. I want to finish it because it deserves an ending. I've been flipping through old chapters and I'm realizing that on here, the bold is very weak. I'm going to start bolding and underlining instead of just bolding things, and hopefully I can get back into editing the earlier chapters as well. I would love to just overhaul the whole story and edit it and make it flow better, but that's just not realistic right now. Anyway, if you're reading this, U. I really appreciate it. You have no idea._


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